Pushing In
by ameliapemerson
Summary: Set the world of finance, real estate, and equestrianism this is a modern Mary/Matthew story. They have all sorts of personal and professional reasons to stay away from each other...and yet they can't.
1. Chapter 1: Face Off

_Because I need to get away from the world today… Here's the beginning of a piece of fluff… maybe more?_

XX

Mary decided on the Christian Louboutin spiked Circus City pumps. She was going to war after all. The kind her family tackled all the time these days. Keeping the creditors at bay. Trying to maintain their empire while the competition sniffed for weakness at her father's heels. Her father had been a good business high-flier in his day, the 80s being a very good decade for the Crawley dynasty.

But now they were living more and more on borrowed time and money.

She'd do her part as usual. Although it was never explicitly stated by Robert, he expected his highly intelligent, accomplished, and level headed Cambridge university graduate daughter to occasionally abase herself for specific clientele.

Robert needed this real estate magnate to get interested in their properties. They needed an influx of cash to offset debts occurred as extensive renovations to Downton had finished but came in way over the budgeted numbers. In addition Robert had trusted his CFO in Grantham Limited to deal with the day to day operations of their commercial property development. But his use of cronyism and nepotism resulted in poor asset management and the loss of several valuable properties to rival developers.

To Mary's continual dismay Robert refusal to get rid of Jarvis left them in a constant state of uncertainty. Robert's loyalties ran deep. It would ultimately come back to bite them. She knew it. But could do nothing about it.

Her role in the company was to be its public face. She was the Public Relations director liaising with colleagues in-house and in the public sector. She managed the media end of Grantham LTD, although hiring a social media consultant was one of her better decisions as she was too private a person to successfully chinwag on Twitter. Her father tut tutted the expense, but she got her way.

It was not a role she particularly enjoyed, but until Robert stepped down and she had more of say in the actual running of the company, she played her part effectively. It allowed her a lifestyle she liked -if ever she was in shallow enough a mood to admit to that. She got to travel. Meet people from all walks of life and cultures.

She had a very comfortable life.

Except when she was called into Robert's office to do a favour. Such as today. This guy needed to be made special. Known to be a prickly sort and prone to being a lone wolf and refusing any long term commitments, he was an expert consultant in addition to having his own private commercial property investments.

They needed his brains and his know how in resolving disputes and in restructuring their long term leasing arrangements that have sucked Grantham LTD dry in terms of profit.

But he wouldn't work for just anyone. He'd summarily dismiss any client on what seemed like a whim. And he could afford to do it. His own personal wealth it was estimated, Robert told her, was well over £30 to £40 million. And it would be more if he combined his interests with others or joined a large global real estate group.

Mary needed to get him on their side.

"Use your wiles with him." Robert had said to her. "Get him to come around." He had the nerve even to sound so assured she'd do as he asked.

Mary stared daggers. "So I'm supposed to prostitute myself out for you now?"

"Don't be dramatic." Her father commanded. "You're the public relations expert. Entertain him. Isn't that what you people do? Get him on our team. I don't care how."

"That's just it Papa, you don't care how."

"We take clients out all the time. We give them perks. Golfing vacations if they prefer or a gentleman's club if that's their proclivity. It's the way things get done. We have to play the game." Robert rubbed his forehead. "God knows I've spent my fair share of time wining and dining."

"But not giving out lap dances…" She muttered under her breath.

"I'm not saying that at all." Her father harrumphed with exasperation. "Just meet him. See how to best win him over. That's all I'm asking."

Mary nodded curtly. "But you wouldn't mind if it takes 'a bit of the other' to cinch the deal."

Robert had enough of his daughter. "You know what to do. Go do it. You know I wouldn't ask if it wasn't necessary. We need him. Or we'll go under. It's that simple."

And so she left. Slamming the door behind her. And it wasn't just her father making her angry. Nor even the gendered inequality of the workplace. Or life. But that clients expected them to play their parts to perfection. You want me, then you have to take me.

And this guy was just like all other men. They wanted one thing. Her father knew it. She knew it.

Mary did not want Grantham LTD in bankruptcy. The failure would be humiliating. The family name was at stake. Their inherited title meant nothing in this day and age. Their estate in York an indulgence that many had called an albatross around their neck. She would fight to keep their name and their company solvent.

She'd take this guy to the edge of sanity. Entice. Seduce. Flatter his ego and soothe his brow. Lead him to think she's his for the asking. Then show him up for the sexist pig he was. And if he was any kind of real man, he'd appreciate her candor and they could then get down to working out what he could do for their company.

In perusing her wardrobe for this tricky encounter, she decided on the form fitting little black dress cutting right at her thighs showing off her long legs and the spikey heels. The "fuck me" shoes she intended to rub up and down his leg as she licked her lips and threw him dark and sultry glances.

He'd be putty in her hands within the hour…

Walking down the stairs of her Eaton Square town house she found Henry checking his iPhone messages. And as usual he hardly looked up when she said she was leaving for the evening.

Good thing, she thought. As he might wonder why she was dressed to kill. And she didn't want to have to explain.

XX

The high end restaurant address in Mayfair impressed. Café Bruno was known for eclectic style and five star ratings from Michelin. Alain Ducater the chef renowned for his cuisine and wines selection.

It usually took months of reservations to get a table.

He got one with a single phone call. It was the usual thing. Wheels within wheels. Matthew threw business Alain's way, he got a rooftop table, private and tailored to his needs, in return.

Matthew was almost bored with how easy it all was.

Everything came too easy for him these days. He still had challenges of course. And he could assuage his guilt at reaping huge profits from ground rent in London alone by giving a great deal back to worthy charities and causes without them even having to call or beg him to attend one of their fundraisers. He gave his time as well working with non-profit legal aid societies for the underserved sectors of society. His prosecutorial legal training had gone unused in such a long time, it was a welcome change from the tedium of the office.

Lavinia's father had turned him onto the real estate market when he was first looking for other ways to make his mark in the world. Once married, he brought Matthew into his firm that dealt with advising real estate firms in residential and commercial properties. Matthew had taken that experience and set out on his own in a few years both wisely investing in a few properties that ended up giving him profitable dividends and cultivating a set of clients who called on his growing expertise and knowledge of the London markets. He stayed clear of any off shore dealings or questionable associates and so had an iron clad reputation for honesty and integrity.

Which made his competitors grit their teeth and hate him even more.

And made Matthew smirk with pleasure. No one of that set of aristocrats and bully boys had helped him along the way. They had scoffed at his low middle class origins. Had dismissed him as a flash in the pan.

Now none of them would ever get his business. He'd play their game. Give them crumbs. But never allow them to rule him or his portfolio of interests. He'd never sell out his firm or his honour to gain their acceptance. He was satisfied with being a relatively small fish in their big pond of finance. And that's what made his rivals scratch their head and call him weak. No one was ever satisfied. It went against the nature of business not to want more.

To be honest with himself Matthew knew he had almost lost his way. In the heady world of having whatever you want whenever you want it. If he was truly open he'd acknowledge the ugly truth he married Lavinia in part to be the son-in-law to Reggie Swire, business mogul and multi-millionaire.

Those two truths had clashed just last year. He spent so much time away from home. Conducting business from their yachts or trout fishing in Scotland. Whatever they had wanted from him. He needed to foster his own clientele. And he enjoyed the excursions. Long business talks about the merits of that property or this, this strategy or that. What the Panama Papers scandal did to their industry. How best to get more out of the leaseholders. He had danced with the devil. Enticed by the dark side as he called it to engage in speculative deals with shady overseas or on line customers with a sure thing in Dubai or in the Caribbean.

Matthew found himself at his lowest point when Lavinia threatened to leave him if he didn't change his ways. He was out all night. And when he did drag himself home he stank like a tart's boudoir. Where had he been? What had he been doing?

He hated the accusations. He wanted to lash out at her. Tell her it was none of her business what he did to keep her in luxury. She could indulge in her charity work and her so called career as a grammar school English Lit teacher because he paid for everything. The arguments were ugly. He felt persecuted by her charges of neglect. Who was he with? What other women were there?

It was then he began to withdraw into himself. Self-satisfied that he was right and she was just nagging him.

A time he was not proud of at all. He had done what he wanted. And he had hurt her. Indulged in fine cigars and expensive whisky. Spent time in clubs that catered to gentleman of certain needs. Not that he himself ever went for the extras one got in private rooms. But he stayed out in the main dance area while clients got what they wanted. They wouldn't have gained access to such exclusive perks without him. Deals were cut in places such as that, he rationalized.

He rationalized everything. All the time.

And had lost his soul.

Then he came to his senses. Nothing particular happened to cause it. Just a realization he didn't like himself anymore.

And that things had to change. He had promised Lavinia no more late nights. No more clubs. He'd find other ways to woo and win over the punters.

Thus why he was here this evening at the rooftop garden of Café Bruno. Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham and CEO of Grantham LTD wanted his help. He was sending one of his minions to feel Matthew out. Assuming he'd have demands to help them out of the mess Grantham's own incompetence had gotten them in to the first place.

He had come from a charity event at the British Museum and had not time to change out of his tux. He just wanted the meal over with.

Matthew squeezed his brow as he awaited the Grantham LTD representative. What did they expect? That they'd connect simply because they shared a last name? To his certain knowledge, Matthew's branch of the Crawleys were in no way directly related to the Yorkshire lot.

But the aristocracy were used to getting their way.

He didn't particularly want to be here. Clients like Lord Grantham were a painful lot. Concerned about how their failures would play in society, they would do anything to save face.

So when his guest was said to have arrived he was at best apprehensive and at worst jaded beyond belief.

He was on the phone to his business partner Tom Branson, "You know she'll be dressed to the nines and drop dead gorgeous. Her father will have demanded she push herself on me in an attempt to seduce me to their needs and desires."

Matthew snorted in disgust. He would not be so easily gotten. He'd make up his own mind on the worthiness of taking on Grantham LTD. The potential for failure was always there. And he didn't want his own reputation as the golden boy of real estate tarnished by that.

No pretty face was worth that.

The waiter's voice broke his reverie, "The Lady Mary Crawley."

Matthew had to turn to see her. He faced the edge of the rooftop garden that overlooked a superb vista of London skyscrapers.

"I do hope I'm not interrupting." If her words could cut more sharply he'd have been sliced in half by now. She also had the advantage of height as he looked up to see her. She quirked an eye brow.

"No…No…" He stumbled over his words as he got up. Not in the typical chichi style that demanded attention to the baubles she wore or the stylist's handiwork, this woman was striking in all the right ways. She cast an appearance of intelligence. Astuteness. As if she saw right through him.

Dammit, he thought. Pull it together.

But he couldn't. She was stunning. He continued to stare. She had completely put him off his game.

"You did ask my father for this dinner?" She cast a disapproving eye in his direction that he did not pull out the chair next to his. "I could leave. I wouldn't want to push in if you have more pressing engagement."

"Sorry…." He mumbled again. And gestured for her to take the seat.

He sat down and rubbed his hand against his chin. "I... I hope you didn't misunderstand me. I didn't mean…"

"I know exactly what you meant Mr. Crawley." She appraised him again coolly. Taking his measure he thought. And failing it. He felt he would crumble to dust. Her eyes, those deep pools of brown, were piercing his soul.

He was lost to this woman. He had never felt so out of control in so little amount of time. His legs were actually wobbling and he lurched into the seat next to hers.

Oh dear God, he thought. What was he going to do?

XX

Mary blinked rapidly in the fading sunlight. Took the proffered chair and sat down. She felt a bit sick.

She would not let him have the satisfaction of knowing he was the best damn looking man she had ever set eyes on. His golden locks of hair, swooping so indulgently over his forehead. His delectable blue eyes. Eyes she could lose herself in. The chin stubble. His designer tux was cut to show off his slim build even as it was apparent he worked out and took care of himself physically. The mineral water on the table rather than a cocktail. His long fingers curling the glass…

Snap out of it Mary Crawley, she told herself. No one was that perfect. Certainly not the man she was supposed to throw herself at to save her father's bacon.

There was no way she'd let on he had gotten to her. So instead she dismissed his apology and put him immediately on the defensive.

Imperceptibly she hiked up the hem of her dress, to show off her legs and crossed one over the other to have him cast his eyes downward towards the spiked heels that shaped her backside to her best advantage.

She knew it. He knew it.

The game was about to start.

XX

 _So what do you think? Or…why am I doing this!? lol_


	2. Chapter 2: Smitten

_Snap out of it Mary Crawley, she told herself. No one was that perfect. Certainly not the man she was supposed to throw herself at to save her father's bacon._

 _There was no way she'd let on he had gotten to her. So instead she dismissed his apology and put him immediately on the defensive._

 _Imperceptibly she hiked up the hem of her dress, to show off her legs and crossed one over the other to have him cast his eyes downward towards the spiked heels that shaped her backside to her best advantage._

XX

Matthew deliberately averted his eyes from their intended target. He was not going to fall into that trap. To be the recipient of Mary's caustic rebuke or fulfill her view of traditional male sexism.

He gazed instead directly over her left shoulder and motioned for the server to return to the table. "We'll have some menus."

"Yes sir."

He handed them both a menu.

The man looked expectantly at Mary.

Mary quickly glanced at the wine selection. "I'll have a glass of the Vouvrey." Mary sat back against the cushioned seat. So that's how he's going to play it, she told herself. This could be interesting.

Both took the moment to appraise the other.

Matthew gathered his wits again.

Mary realized he was no fool.

"So do you live in London?" Mary broke the ice. This time with the most innocuous of questions. The 'get to know' type she handed out in so many publicity related discussions.

Matthew relaxed as well. Or tried to. "I do now. I'm originally from Manchester but after uni I settled down in Fulham near Parson's Green."

"Good property around there." Mary agreed. "I helped out some clients when I first began to work for Grantham Limited."

"How long have you been Public Relations director?" Matthew inquired, showing that he had done his homework and knew Mary's position within her family's company.

"About two years." Mary accepted the proffered glass from the server.

"We're still looking at the selections." Matthew admitted. The man withdrew a step.

"Would you like the vegetable rolls as a starter? Then the lobster?" He pitched his eyes once again directly at Mary. But my God her legs were a lovely distraction. He suppressed a twitch of his mouth.

"Sounds delicious." Mary agreed.

Matthew motioned and the server came forward. He ordered for both along with a bottle of Blanc de Blancs Chardonnay.

"I'm relieved to know you're not a complete teetotaler." Mary spoke. "I do like a glass of wine with any meal."

"A recent attempt to take the pledge to lead a healthier life." Matthew took a sip of his mineral water. "I can't say I'm an advocate though."

Mary laughed at his honesty. "My sister the GP would have something to say about that. She's positively religious about diet and sugar intake."

"My mother as well. She spent many years as a NHS nurse before her retirement." Something in common after all Matthew mused. "I rather take the opposite view. A good ale or single malt scotch is the best reward at the end of a long day's work."

"You work a lot Mr. Crawley?" She was more curious about him than she wanted to admit.

"More than is probably good for me Lady Mary. But one has to, hasn't one." He drew her name out as she had with his. "Especially in our competitive world."

"You know what all work and no play did for Jack." She was unconsciously playing with her hair, twisting some loose strands. Gracefully arranging them behind her ear.

"Oh…" He let the word linger on his tongue. "I play, too." God he was flirting with this woman. He needed to watch it.

"I wish I could have continued to combine both the working and the playing." Mary let that truth slip.

Matthew was intrigued. "How does one do that?"

"Not very successfully." Mary demurred with only a touch of bitterness in her voice. She switched the subject back to the matter at hand. "My father works very hard. He expects the same from his associates."

"No shirking?" Matthew joked.

"Absolutely not." She riposted. "And from well-paid hires. So you best keep on your toes."

"I consider myself fair warned." Matthew moved his glass as the starter arrived. He tucked into the vegetable rolls. "But I have to admit to having a lot on at the moment. I'm not sure I could take another client. My business partner …"

"No." Mary returned quickly. "I want you…." Then clapped her mouth shut as she realized what she said.

Matthew's mouth puckered into a sly smile. He slightly raised an eye brow.

Mary recovered as much as she could "We think your acumen and expertise are what's required at Grantham."

"I'm flattered." He said, still amused by the delightfully horrified expression that crossed her face with the verbal gaffe.

"But not enough to accept?" She sensed.

"Let's keep talking, shall we?" And he eased back into the chair. "It's a lovely night. And I for once, don't have any place I'd rather be than right here."

She noticed he stuck to the mineral water even as their meal arrived at the table. He indicated to pour only the lady's glass.

They spent the meal exchanging pleasantries about London and hard to please estate agents and customers.

XX

Mary would not have noticed it. He had singly placed his mobile over what she assumed to be a notepad as she sat down earlier. But after the servers had removed their plates, his mobile buzzed. He picked it up to glance at the name and replaced it.

"The office." He dismissed the message with a finger click. "I'll deal with it in the morning."

Only in those few seconds did Mary see the drawing on the notepad. A sketch really. Of the London skyline. Fully realized yet with a touch of the absurd added. Some buildings outsized, others shrunk. It was quite good.

He noticed she noticed.

A wry smile crossing his face. "Something to pass the time in long meetings. It amuses me to capture things in ways that go unnoticed."

She filed that information away.

"Do you enjoy your work?" She asked instead.

He took a hard pause before answering. "I like the satisfaction of everything coming together." It was so noncommittal, Mary realized.

"The art of the deal as Donald Trump says?" She provoked just a bit.

Matthew guffawed. "Without the egomaniacal fascist overtones, I hope yes. I prefer to be diplomatic and work with a client's strengths to get to a yes."

"And if they still want more?"

"Then I tell them how unrealistic their goals are given the allocated funds they've given me to work with. You do have to let them down gently. But firmly."

"I just imagine you do."

"And yourself?" He turned tables. "What's your skill Lady Mary Crawley?" It was terrible how much he loved saying her full name.

"Procuring reluctant clients like you over to our side of the table." She fiddled with her fork. "That lobster was delicious."

"You don't like talking about yourself." Matthew observed.

"I'm essential." She declared pointedly. "But if I do my job correctly you've gained our trust without even realizing why or how."

"I'd hate that. Then I would have missed out on the enjoyment of our conversation." He said it so smoothly Mary was not quite certain he was serious.

Then she looked at his smouldering eyes. Eyes that seemed to see right into her soul.

She attempted to reassert control over the conversation. "If you accept our offer, even though you will be brought in from the outside on a temporary basis, you will have to pull your weight. My father …."

"Sounds rather desperate to me, if you don't mind me saying so." Cutting to the chase at last.

She looked shocked at his forthrightness. But he could see in her eyes he was right.

"What is going on?" Matthew asked gently. "Something untoward financially?"

"Nothing to do with the family." Mary's emphasis being on the last word.

"Spoken like a lawyer. Are you sure you never called to the bar?" He remarked. "Such dicing of words means only one thing. You're sure there is some fiddling of the books. Just not with your father."

Mary's lips curled inward in thought. How much should she tell him?

"You're not hiring me to investigate remember. Just to help right the ship. I can't do that if you are not honest with me. Changes might have to be made. Changes you or your father might not like. But will aid in returning your enterprise to solvency."

Matthew directed his gaze at her face. Intent on his purpose now. "Can you give me that assurance? The independence to do what I must the best way I see fit?"

"Yes. I can, yes." Mary assured him. Also assuring herself at the same time that Matthew Crawley was just as good as his reputation.

"Settled then. I will have a draft of my usual contract sent by tomorrow morning. We can then convene later in the week at your offices near the Royal Exchange." Matthew had made up his mind. What was generally perceived by the client as a mountain to climb, usually to him was merely a long walk with some inconveniences along the way.

Mary took a long breath then said, "About your fees…"

"Not at dinner." He held a finger to his mouth. "Spoils the appetite." And his eyes twinkled.

She sipped the last drops of the chardonnay. "Deal." And smiled.

Matthew then noticed the owner of Café Bruno making a discrete wave in his direction.

"Excuse me." And he got up.

Mary gazed out onto the last light of the evening. Darkness was about to descend. The fairy lights had come on the balcony and she noticed more patrons had gathered at nearby tables. She had not even noticed them so deep in the conversation with Matthew.

Why was that? When she was out with Henry they generally caused a buzz and others flitted around them wanting to just be in their company. She made small talk. He told stories of his old racing days.

Perhaps that was it. Whole evenings would go by and they would not have even spoken to each other. It would seem they did. If asked, they would say that they had.

But no. They talked to people. They stood beside each other.

They existed in the other's space.

That was about it. It was easy. Comfortable. Maybe that's why they never married?

Mary returned from her discomfiting reverie with Matthew's gentle tap on her shoulder. "Nicolas wants our table." He was doing that twitchy smile again that made her heart beat faster. "It seems we've kept it for over two hours. I told him I understood. Would you like to go downstairs to the bar? I …" He hesitated, not really sure what the hell he was doing. He just didn't want to stop talking with her.

"I'd love too." Mary jumped in. Also not wanting their time to end.

Knowing this would cause a change in their purpose, Matthew persisted with it anyway. He pulled back her chair and smoothly guided her through the crowd and down the steps. The bar was sleek and modern. They found as quiet a table as possible near the back.

Matthew ordered a Laphroaig neat with a water back. Mary turned tables and ordered a sparkling water.

Matthew laughed. "I'm desperate for a drink. I've been a good boy long enough. But I'll have only the one. I am driving."

They settled in. Matthew did not want to talk any more about her family's business woes.

"What you said upstairs." He had been so curious. "About combining work and play. What did you mean?"

Mary sighed heavily.

"If it's a sore subject…" His brow was furrowed in concern.

"No." She said quickly. "Just a sad one."

He waited for her.

"I was a competitive horse jumper." Mary looked up at him. "I loved it so."

"Were you very good?"

"I qualified for the 2012 Olympic Trials. To make Team Britain when the games were in London."

He was impressed. "That's quite the achievement. It must have taken a great deal of effort."

"Yes" her voice suddenly warm and animated. "But it never felt like it. To be one with your horse. That feeling is indescribable."

"Which is why the work was also the play." He understood.

"Then it all turned to ashes." Her voice flat.

Matthew's eyes lowered. "Why?" He asked tenderly.

"My horse, Diamond. He went lame right before I was to ride. When we were training. One of those things. I lost my chance." The dullness, the weariness apparent. "They wanted me to change horses. I wouldn't. Diamond and I understood each other. No other horse was going to take me into the Olympics."

"So you quit?" He tried to understand.

"Yes. A year later I went to work at Grantham." The determination returned. "I had to accept the real world."

"But you could have tried again?" Matthew sat forward. He took a sip of his whisky. "And train another horse in the meantime."

"Perhaps." Mary said shortly. She was reluctant to confess that she had made an abrupt decision and turned her back on her dream. It seemed so dreary to admit that.

Matthew got it anyway. He instinctively recognized just saying that much was more than she would normally have divulged. "Did you jump? Or what?"

"I show jumped and did the three day event. Diamond was magnificent across the long course. We did the Burghley Horse Trials in 2011 and he just soared over the viaduct and the leap." Mary saw it all again in her mind's eye.

Her sadness hurt Matthew's soul. Her voice mesmerized him when she talked about her passion.

"Why don't you try again? Isn't that one of those sports one can do for years and years?" He so wanted to bring back that smile.

She shook her head. "It's just not that easy. I've been away from it. My family's estate has undergone extensive renovations and costs overran. I…"

"I'll do it." He knocked his hand on the table.

"What?" Mary could not have been more surprised.

"I'll invest in you." His voice steady. "I want to. You pick out a horse. Train. I don't know…"

His voice got more dynamic. "…do whatever you want I'm not sure… But I've been looking for new ventures. And this is far more exciting than property or leveraging mortgages."

"It takes time to build a relationship with a horse. I've been away from it all…" But Mary was interested. Could she really go back? Her eyes began to dance with the possibilities.

That's what he wanted to see. "Are you scared?"

She started at that. "I am not. At least not more so than yourself."

He looked quizzical.

"Your sketch. You hid it from me earlier but I see you doing it again. Let me see…" And she took the pad away from his hand.

This drawing was of Mary. He captured her likeness with remarkable skill. And yet with a playfulness that softened her features.

He shook his head. "I can draw. I doodle. It's not marketable. It's not that good. I know it. But you…you make it all the way to the Olympic trials. That's real success. Let's try to do it again."

"What about Grantham LTD? I can't just give up work. And you have your hands full with all your own." Mary could not admit she was bowled over by how he had managed to catch her in a few strokes of a pencil. That he managed to concentrate both on her conversation and his illustration at the same time. "Taking on the company business and this venture? Really?"

"We can do it together. What's the risk?"

"Failure." She admitted.

"Nothing. Do it all the time." He smiled. "It's learning to accept failure to get to success. That's the trick."

A lock of unruly hair fell down his forehead. He looked like an excitable little boy about to get a new adventure.

Mary's mouth turned up. "Let me think about it."

"Good enough." And Matthew rapped the table again. "Did you drive your own car?"

"No. I took a cab."

"Let me take you home." Matthew got up from the table. He shuffled through his tuxedo pockets for his keys. "It's right out front."

"Out front?" Mary was impressed. Parking like that was dear.

"Nicolas and I went to the same college together." He smiled. "Favours."

They moved outside and she heard the chirp chirp of his vehicle's doors. The car was a Porsche 718 Boxster. A flash car for sure. Sleek and modern.

Matthew loved it. His ultimate indulgence.

He opened the door for her. Mary accepted the courtesy and stepped in. He managed to admire her lithe beauty one more time.

He put the Porsche in reverse gear. "Of course it's a manual shift." Mary observed.

"For the love of driving it's the only way to go." He laughed as they carefully maneuvered through the late night London traffic.

A glance at the dash showed it was 2am.

It was much later than Matthew had thought. He pushed the consequences of that from his mind.

He parked in front of the Eaton Square townhome per Mary's instructions. "Thank you Mr…"

"Matthew." He said, his tone dark and rich.

"Matthew." She said it softly, drawing it out.

"I'll be in touch Mary. Your father won't be disappointed."

Had he already forgotten their other, more private arrangement?

"And I expect you to have gotten me up to speed on everything related to equestrianism by the time we next meet for dinner. That way I'll know whereof I speak when we go see potential horses for purchase."

And he smiled again and withdrew the car before she could protest any more. He waved, and she reluctantly turned back towards her front door.

XX

Matthew spent the night at his club. He did not want to disturb Lavinia so late in the early morning hours. She would ask questions of course.

Questions she had every right to ask.

Questions he had no ready answer for.

Mary had upended his life. In one evening, he felt a different man.

And he had no idea what that meant….

 **XX**

 _ **Again : thoughts? Views? Thank you soo much.**_


	3. Chapter 3: Vignettes

XX

Mary delicately blew across the foamy coffee. Seated outside at a café near the office, she relished the few minutes in the early morning to contemplate before the day's rush began. The recent Leave vote had shaken the real estate industry and they were fielding calls and soothing brows all over the UK and Europe.

It was just a few days after the dinner with Matthew. Such a swirl of events and unexpected panic after the vote had meant neither had been in touch with the other since he had dropped her off.

She had casually asked Edith to look up his name. At least she hoped it was casual.

"Says here that Matthew Crawley's father died when he was 14. A sudden stroke that left the adolescent with only his mother for close family. He was away at school when it happened." Edith looked over her iPhone at her sister. "That's so sad."

Mary slowly nodded. There had been that air of defensiveness about him. Slight, but noticeable to her. A protective shield against the world. Except she felt that they had connected.

He had let her into his mind, his thoughts.

Edith continued, "So it seems he finished public school and won scholarship to Oxford and completed his legal training under the guidance of Sir Edwin Miskrell at the Inns of Court. He worked a few years at prestigious firm in the City and took that training when he accepted a position with his father-in-law…"

"What?" Mary's flustered tone stopped Edith in the middle of the sentence. Indeed Edith had seldom seen her sister at a loss.

Clearly this was news to her.

Mary recovered quickly though. "Go on…" trying to maintain a level tone.

Edith did so, "his father-in-law's investment firm where he began to specialize in real estate until such time as he created his own company in partnership with Thomas Branson. He lives in Fulham with his wife Lavinia. They have no children." She finished and put down her mobile.

Mary sat silent. Matthew had never disclosed that information. She scoured her memory as to whether he wore a ring that night. No…she definitely remembered no wedding ring during the meal as he ate the lobster.

Could he have deliberately kept if off?

Edith sat impatient, dying to know more. She and her sister had only recently mended old teenage fences of spits and spats and had become quite good friends. Mary had always chosen their youngest sibling Sybil. Full of fire but also sweet natured Sybil was everyone's favourite really. But the two older sisters found common ground in the workplace. Edith making her way into a journalist career with The Guardian and Mary entering the real estate field at Grantham. Her equestrian career had dominated Mary's life beforehand. She hardly had time for anything else. But since 2012 she and Mary had grown close.

Mary was so deep in thought she hardly heard Edith asking "is that important? His marriage?"

Slowly Mary returned out of her reverie. "It shouldn't be. We've just hired him to look into some restructuring and investment ideas."

Edith would have none of that. "Oh Mary please. Come on. Come clean. That bothered you."

Mary squirmed slightly in her seat. She pursed her lips and sighed. "Very well. I rather liked his unguarded approach. Or what I took to be without guile. I guess I was wrong."

"I don't see that at all." Edith replied. "You have very good instincts. I don't think he was being deliberately secretive in his disclosure." Trying to draw her out a bit on just how private their conversation went. "Is it really vital to your working relationship?"

Mary stammered "No….no."

Mary never stammers, Edith caught her eye across the table. "Are you interested in him?" She looked down again at her iPhone. Matthew was photographed at a business luncheon shaking hands with a client. He was in profile. "He is rather attractive."

Her sister did not like that. She retorted briskly, "I'm not shallow Edith. Nor disarmed by a pair of fine eyes."

Edith knew the reference to her sister's favourite Austen novel. "But you did notice them?"

She gave in a bit. "I did."

"And the rest of him?" Edith could not resist.

"Divine." Mary disclosed with a languid exhalation. "But it was more than that. We got along so well. I'm just surprised he didn't tell me." She had not told any of her family about Matthew's interest in sponsoring her equestrian return. She wasn't at all sure she would take him up on the offer.

Especially now.

"Maybe he felt the same." Edith reached out for her cup of steamed coffee. "He was so engrossed in conversation with you that it just never came up."

"That's true." Mary had to admit.

"Did you tell him about Henry?"

Mary's eyes narrowed, moved back and forth. "It never came up." She smiled as she confessed that.

"Exactly." Edith chuckled. "It sounds like you two were a world unto yourselves."

All Mary could do was slowly nod in affirmation. She was gob smacked by this news. It had been like no other night in her life. Nothing had happened. They had just talked. Yet it was more intimate than any romantic date. She had gone to bed with her fair share of men in her life. Now she lived with the one who had worn down all her arguments to the contrary.

But Matthew. Matthew was different. He had ripped away all her layers so easily. He gave her his time and his attention. He listened. He cared.

Ridiculous, she would have said. No one can do that in one evening. But it happened. She knew he felt it too. Was that why he didn't tell her? Was that why she didn't tell him?

Edith suddenly felt an anxious pang. Mary had never given herself fully to anyone. "Don't let him break your heart Mary."

"I thought you said I never had one…" Mary glanced over at her sister with a soft smile. She was so glad they were now friends. Think of the closeness they would have missed.

"Just being a spiteful teenager. I was wrong of course." Edith shared. "You keep it well guarded. Is he worth exposing it?"

"I've never said I was interested in him." She protested half-heartedly.

"You don't have to." Edith verbalized what they both knew. She held out her hand to grab Mary's. "It's all over you face."

Mary withdrew back and sat up straight in the seat. "I won't let him see it. It's just business after all." She got up with purpose, "now I must get on. We have a meeting at 9:30."

Edith said not a word. She let her go.

XX

Tom Branson sat in the passenger seat as Matthew smoothly guided the Porsche around a corner and into the car park at their offices along the Thames. He knew they very easily could have taken a taxi or even walked the several blocks over to Milner and Co, an exclusive mortgage brokerage firm they regularly dealt with. There had been an emergency meeting to deal with Brexit. Matthew, by the blood shot look in his eyes, had been up most of the night soothing brows and cutting deals both to stop hemorrhages and to take advantage of the wildly uneven currency market.

But Matthew had wanted to drive. "Soothes my nerves," he said with a grin.

And it did. Matthew rolled into his space. He appreciated the fact that he never had to watch over Branson or worry about the state of their partnership. The two worked seamlessly together. They had met while each worked for another boss and both chafed to get out on their own. Neither had the assets to set up alone, so they pooled resources and opened up CB Property first in a small leasehold property in Camden and later in more capacious offices in SW1 Pall Mall. Tom specialized in commercial real estate both in England and Ireland. Matthew initially handling trusts and asset management. As their partnership thrived they were now considering bringing in a third partner. One of the things on the back burner.

Matthew had not told Tom about his offer to invest in Mary's venture to set up a riding centre to provide income for her own equestrian dreams. In fact given the events of the past days, he's not had any time to put his own mind to it.

That did not mean, however, he did not think about Mary. Indeed he found himself thinking about her far too often.

The swish of her head as she affixed loose strands of hair behind her ear. The lithe movement of her body as she walked in front of him down the steps to the bar.

His stomach twisted and churned in knots as the guilt mingled with the desire.

Matthew pushed away those thoughts. Task at hand man, he chided himself. He was currently listening to Tom read from a brief A-Z Directory entry.

"Grantham LTD has been incorporated since the 1960s. The current earl took over management of the firm when his father died in 1978. They have a reputation for solid, if predictable investments in properties among the landed gentry and aristocracy. His primary income is derived from his family's inheritance so he can afford a certain amount of loss." Tom heard Matthew's inhalation.

"What? Is that bollocks?"

Matthew pursed his lips. "I got the distinct impression they were on the edge of a nervous breakdown." He grabbed his key out of the ignition.

"Why else call us in?" Matthew finished as he opened the door and got out.

Tom had to agree. Their firm specialized in getting firms out of scrapes and returning them to profit. Their reputation had grown recently with a successful turnaround of a LLC in South Bank. When they had started out three years before, they had planned on growing the investment side of their firm but instead it was the consultancy work that brought in the dosh. Matthew was keen to get back into property which was why Tom was surprised Matthew took on Grantham LTD himself rather than handing it off to himself.

Indeed he seemed downright eager.

"And I thought it was because you're secretly the heir to the title." Tom tried to draw Matthew out on the truth of the matter.

Matthew chortled. "No fear. Our family was originally Crowley but in the early 19th century some near sighted government official wrote the surname down incorrectly in a birth registry and we've been Crawley's ever since." He was more than secretly glad of that. Mary was no relation at all to him. The similar name was a happenstance. A sign perhaps? Matthew pushed that thought to the back of his head.

"What else does it say?" Matthew straightened his tie as it was windblown from the convertible. He pushed his fingers through his hair. He had to pull it together for the next round of meetings.

Tom scrolled "His daughter Mary Crawley is Public Relations Director. The two other daughters are not a part of the company."

Matthew nodded in contemplation. He remembered Mary mentioning a sister, but not two. A wisp of a smile crossed his lips at that memory. "Does it mention anything else about her?" He tried to sound casual.

"Uh…" Tom clicked a side picture. "I see the daughter arm in arm with some tall dude at a societal function."

Tom took note of a sudden stiffness in Matthew's body language as he pushed the picture down to read the caption. "It's her boyfriend Henry Talbot, former UK Rally Car driver and currently employed by International Motor Sports."

The up ticked snort escaped Matthew's lips before he could stop it. "A rally car driver?"

"Careful mate. You sound a right smug bugger." Tom mocked. "And as you are currently inspecting your own pride and joy for infinitesimal scratches you are on dangerous ground."

Matthew jerked his head up from the Boxster's fender. He grinned sheepishly. "Rebuke taken and accepted."

"Why do you care?" Tom was curious. Matthew was the most upright of all his friends and coworkers. He treated everyone with respect. Never a hint of scandal or sexual shenanigans.

"No reason." Matthew said he hoped with reasonable coolness.

But he knew it was a misrepresentation of the facts. He did care. In his current bewildered state, he cared a great deal.

XX

Lavinia knew Matthew was home from the mutterings down the hall. His office was to the left off the spacious living area that looked out onto Parsons Green. They both had fallen in love with the property four years ago upon their marriage. It had been a steep investment for Matthew but he knew the potential for growth in the area and agreed to the asking price. The terraced house sat slightly apart from its neighbours.

"What's up?" She shouted. Setting her keys down in the dish. The table near the door had become a jumble of keys, bills, and Matthew's collection of electronic gadgets.

Matthew answered in exasperation, "Vin. I can't find my iPad anywhere."

She heard more shuffling and swearing.

"I need it for the meeting this afternoon. It's got all the websites bookmarked…." The rest was muffled.

She glanced at the pile of stuff on the table. "Here it is." Triumphantly she shoved aside some papers to find the device buried beneath.

When she grabbed it, however, another pile was dislodged and fell to the floor. She rolled her eyes in annoyance and knelt down to clean it up.

She took the pile with her walking down the hall, trying to organize them all as she went. One of the items was Matthew's doodle book as she called it. He was forever scratching away in it, with images and caricatures and portraits of everyone he knew or just happened to pass in the street. It had fallen open at the last page.

"Thanks awfully." Matthew was so relieved to get it.

Lavinia handed him the iPad. He looked up and saw she had his sketch pad in her hand as well. His eyes turned saucer like in a sudden dread. The thought crossed his mind to snatch it. Before she saw Mary's picture. Wondered who she was? Why was she with Matthew?

He stayed his hand, though. Such action would just draw suspicion. And besides why would Lavinia even think anything. He was always drawing people in the book.

His mind raced from thought to thought. Potential outcomes. What if she asked him?

He was mentally shot just thinking about the possibilities.

He was not cut out for this kind of subterfuge.

In the end, Lavinia closed the book and set it on the desk along with the iPad and some bills. She said nothing. Smiled instead and began to chat about the long vacation plans for the school where she taught. They were to chaperone the primary aged children to Paris for a week end visit to all the sites.

"Sheer bloody exhausting," She finished, "but the Head wants to expose them to culture. Of course she's not going along."

"No…" Matthew's vague reply. "What?"

Lavinia's even tone brought him back to reality. "Nothing. Will you be ready to leave in an hour? I told my father we'd be there by seven."

Matthew pinched his brow. "Yes. Of course. Sorry darling. I … I got a million things on my mind…"

Lavinia knew all too well. "I'll leave you to it then." And she walked out of the office.

Matthew thought he had gotten away with it. But it only made the churning in his stomach worse.

He returned to his tasks at hand, but he knew in his gut that everything in his life was about to change. He had not told Mary he was married. That had not been out of any premeditation. The subject simply had not come up. He realized too late that he had left his ring at the fitness centre locker. He always took it off when swimming because it was loose and he feared it dropping down a drain. He needed to tell her. Before they set out on this equestrian venture. It would not do to have anything false between them.

No matter how much that might change things between them.

Out in the hall, Lavinia took a deep breath. She had noticed. Her observant nature took in Matthew's slight panicked expression when his eyes fell upon the drawing.

She took in his look. Noticed it really, because she felt something as well.

Initially taking it as just another of his well rendered sketches.

Matthew was an accomplished artist. Lavinia had always tried to tell him so. He would dismiss himself as a mere amateur, but she knew better. But it was part of their relationship that he kept to himself. So she didn't push him.

Most of the sketches were funny caricatures of the officious, dull types he dealt with in his business. It allowed him to vent some of the utter boredom of their pretentiousness by distorting and playing around with their features.

He had drawn Lavinia many times. She loved how he managed to capture her in candid settings, reading a book or doing the dishes.

But this one was different. She had looked more closely at it as she walked down the hall to his office. The drawing of the woman was subtle and striking at the same time. Her eyes staring straight into the viewers. Her hair textured and capturing the twists and curls in intimate detail.

He kept so many things to himself. Sometimes she believed she hardly knew him. They had married after dating a relatively short period of time. She was not naïve enough to believe Matthew was head over heels in love. She knew he cultivated the hopes of gaining the eye of her father. At the time she admired his ambition. He was sweet and kind and the best of lovers.

He did love her. In his own way. They had a good marriage.

But was it enough for him? As his wealth increased, his tastes did so too. The car the latest example. He could have anything he wanted.

Did he still want her?

XX

Mary took the last sip of her wine. They were about to clean up after dinner.

Time to broach the subject. "Henry, I've got the potential for a new project. One that will take me away from London for weeks at a time. Back home to Downton, actually."

Henry stopped piling the plates together. "What is it? Sounds involved."

"Getting back into riding actually. Opening a centre, a stable." Mary tried to sound cool about it, but just the thought thrilled her. Enlivened her as nothing had done for quite some time.

Henry was surprised. "I thought you had given all that up? After 2012." They had not known each other then, but she had told him about Diamond's accident. About her quitting. "You've got quite the good set up with your father. Will he approve?"

She honestly had no idea. But she knew she'd convince him in the end to agree to give her the time off if she promised to double her efforts when she was in London. And of course, she had to get his permission to use the land in the south field for the riding centre. Her mind whirled at all she had to do.

"We'll see. I'll tell him when I'm farther along. It's still very much in the planning stage." They carried the plates and glasses into the kitchen.

Henry knew better than to give away any of his own misgivings. She was ever in control of her own life. She made that abundantly clear when they moved in together. But they were already on each other's nerves most of the time. And now more time away.

"Papa wants me to organize a dinner party for some new clients. Part of the attempt to win them over." It was partially true. Her father had mentioned it. Well, she had mentioned it and he had agreed.

Just that morning.

"When? You know my schedule. It's tight during racing season." Henry pulled the dishtowel down.

She rolled her eyes. She knew it all the time. It was all he ever talked about. Initially when dating she found the racing thrilling. The fast cars. The reverberations of sounds and squeals. The excitement of victory.

But it had dulled.

"About a week. Probably next Friday night. It'll be just two or three couples at most. We have two new clients and Papa will always want Charlie and Elsie over as well." The Carsons owned a chain of bed and breakfasts and were always looking for new ones to purchase.

"So about ten to twelve at most. If they all bring wives or significant others that is." She tried to sound non-chalant about it. But it was her driving motivation to host this meal if she searched her soul deep enough.

Mary was curious about Matthew's wife. And a social gathering was the perfect opportunity to casually observe the strawberry blonde she had googled earlier in the day.

That Matthew was married had settled like a lump in her chest.

But even if it had been otherwise, how could she change things? It wasn't like she could just text him a message or phone his mobile about getting together again. They had exchanged personal information. For the business arrangement they had said. Had used as a pretext to get each other's details. Because they had both wanted it.

She was attached as well. Not married, true. But in a relationship.

Could she deny her feelings for Matthew? Go on without him in her life now? Give up the opportunity he presented to her, because it also came with the baggage of an emotional attachment neither could acknowledge?

Mary put away the wine glasses carefully in the cabinet. Henry had gone into the living room and turned on the TV. She could hear the Game of Thrones theme music.

She would not give up this chance of resurrecting her riding career. It dangled in front of her like a child's toy. An ornament at Christmas. Bright and shiny. Something she wanted. Something she could earn with hard work and dedication.

Could the price of that be giving up any thought of a personal relationship with Matthew?

They'd be partners in the equestrian venture.

That was the only solution.

With that determination she closed the cabinet and moved into her office to crunch some numbers regarding the construction of new stables at Downton.

…. And to send out the e-mail invitation to Matthew and Lavinia Crawley for the dinner party a week hence.

Strictly business of course…

XX

 _The dinner party is next… what do you think should happen? As always reviews, views, and opinions are appreciated!_


	4. Chapter 4: Dinner Party

XX

They circled each other. Eyes that fired and flickered. He glanced. She glimpsed.

Firm in the fantasy the other did not see the former looking.

Matthew could not be in her orbit and not look at her. His skin tingled as he captured her eye. He tried hard not to make it too noticeable. He was there after all to see and be seen by all the executives at Grantham.

He had spent much of the previous fortnight bleary eyed from late nights in light of the recent devaluing of the pound and downgraded credit ratings. In addition to assuring panicky clients, he shored up his company's own investments and took advantage of declining stock values to purchase more shares. He followed Warren Buffett's motto "be fearful when others are greedy and greedy when others are fearful."

He finally squeezed in some time to begin his assessment of Mary's company's finances. Matthew had put one of the junior accounts at his own firm to work gathering the information and crunch some numbers.

When that was complete and presented to Matthew, he got down to work extracting the most pertinent data and analyzing the account spread sheets for patterns.

It was tedious work. Which was why his consultancy fees were so large.

This number crunching however yielded up exactly what he expected.

It was apparent the business was in serious trouble. Matthew could see the pattern emerge. While not on the scale of the Ponzi schemes or Madoff, Robert Crawley was definitely the victim of insider fraud and embezzlement. The misappropriation of funds included false expense claims, payroll diversions, ghost employees, and intellectual property theft. Once he narrowed it down Matthew could pin the charges on one or two employees high up the ladder.

He'd have to start interviewing folks at Grantham LTD within the next few days.

Maybe even someone at this very gathering. Robert had also brought his CFO Theodore Jarvis along. It had to be someone with knowledge of the company's long term holding as this person had been fiddling around at will for years. Buying up property and then charging exorbitant prices. Jobs awarded to a select few while all involved cut the share of the profit then skimmed the money from the accounting books.

He needed more proof but the pattern was one he had seen many times before.

The embezzlement end however seemed separate from the fraud. He hadn't figured that out completely. Or rather he had his suspicions, but it was delicate. Required him to seek the advice of a member of the firm he could trust with this secret.

And that person was Lady Mary Crawley.

The one person he was trying to strictly avoid at this party.

Why was he dodging her?

To not arouse suspicion? Though neither had said a word he knew Lavinia suspected something about the picture in the sketchbook. In those few strokes of the pencil he had unwittingly etched his own emotional pull towards this woman.

It was alive in a way none of his others had ever been.

Most of his drawings were technically perfect. He wanted to convince himself it was just like all the others.

Like the ones of Lavinia.

But it wasn't. The one of Mary was animated, drawing the eye into her life. Leaving the observer wanting to know more.

As he wanted to know more about Mary.

None of that could he tell Lavinia.

It was one of the traits he had admired most in his wife. Her keen observation. She would often cut right to the chase of an issue, bypassing all prejudice or personal foible to demand simple honesty and openness.

And he couldn't give her that. Not about the sketch.

For he had drawn his own desire.

To not have to discuss business at a dinner get together?

Matthew knew how these functions went down. They chatted about nothing and all the while sizing each other up. He had already met Robert at his offices near the Royal Exchange. But it was merely an introduction to the company and its CEO. Formal. Robert on his guard and best behaviour.

Matthew had learned nothing.

Here though, in Mary's elegant surroundings of a home, Matthew hoped to find him in better humour. Cora, his lively and intelligent wife, seemed to put Robert at ease. They conversed easily about mutual interests in travel and favorite historic destinations.

Cora asked, "Have you been to America Mr. Crawley?"

"Matthew" he said in reply, "And yes I have. I've been to New York City several times as well as Montreal and Toronto. We honeymooned in Anguilla."

"We've been all around the West Indies. I want to go to Cuba now that it's opening to tourists again but Robert is against it. He'd rather just stay at home and roam around with the dogs." And she affectionately squeezed her husband's arm.

Robert, to Matthew's discerning gaze, looked discomfited by his wife's disclosure. As if it indicated he was a cheapskate. Or worse, too cash poor to afford his wife's vacation hopes.

Matthew pretended not to see, saying "Well if I lived in as beautiful a spot as Downton Abbey, I suppose I'd like to stay as well."

"I do like getting to London though." Cora admitted. "To see a show or the Proms. Are you a music lover Matthew?"

"I saw Radiohead at Glastonbury in '97." Matthew offered.

Cora gasped. "So did I!"

The two laughed in mutual surprise. "I was so covered in muck that I thought I'd never get clean." Cora shook her head at that memory. "It was everywhere."

"That's the point, though." Matthew countered. "Saying one survived the muddy bog is a badge of honour."

Robert groaned slightly as the two began to regale the other with stories of music festivals they had attended. Cora's previous life as a back-up singer for an indie punk rock band was a youthful indiscretion in his mind, not to be brought up ever again.

He gravitated towards his daughter. "Seems like your mama likes our new consultant. I believe he thinks too highly of himself. What did you make of him at that dinner? I've not had the chance to ask with all that's been going on with the government implosion. You got him of course. But is he on our side? He's already been nosing around at the office asking for accounting spread sheets. I only wanted his opinions on some restructuring and investments."

Mary said candidly. "You hired him to do his job. I think that's exactly what he's doing."

"Did you do what I asked?" Robert exclaimed. "You need to win him over." He sounded to Mary on edge.

She responded even more coldly. "He doesn't work like that. I found him clever and not one to suffer fools."

Robert gave her a look that sent a chill of fear up Mary's spine. Was her father hiding something from her?

Robert moved off to mingle with the Mayhews.

Mary raised an eyebrow and glanced over at Matthew. He had not said a word to her as each had mingled and conversed with guests and friends. Merely reversed on his heels whenever they came close to touching.

Just then though, Matthew looked up from his conversation with Cora. He gave Mary a slight nod of the head, an edgy smile at the corner of his mouth. Eyes that bore heavy into hers. Then he turned away again.

They had not spoken two words to each other since his arrival about half an hour late.

Mary had arranged everything to perfection. Sybil was visiting and she helped put the food and drinks out. The other guests included her parents, the Carsons, and the Mayhews. The latter being new clients of Grantham LTD. Henry socialized with them.

Matthew was wet from a light rain shower. His hair glistened. The suit was fitted but casual. His ring had returned to his left hand.

The woman by his side claiming it had been her fault entirely when Mary greeted them in the vestibule.

"I had a late meeting at the school." Lavinia said as Matthew threw their umbrellas in the stand near the door. "And then the rain caught us out. It was a good thing Matthew knew his way here. He has had former clients in the same area so he found our way still in good time."

Matthew said nothing, his eyes downcast. The truth of course being he had dropped Mary off just in last ten days or so ago at this very townhouse after their dinner. Mary let it sink in that he had told his wife nothing about that night. She tried not to read any insinuations into that.

"It's quite fine." Mary reassured her. "We've all just gathered."

Matthew finally declared, with an ever so slight hitch to his voice, "Lady Mary may I introduce my wife Lavinia." The two women nodded pleasantly.

"Welcome." Mary's voice warm and cordial, giving nothing away. "There are drinks on the back balcony." She wore a sleeveless summer dress in keeping with the warm weather.

She looked radiantly cool despite the summer's humidity.

Then Matthew saw it. A flicker of stone cold ice in her eye. Directed right at him. Then it was gone.

"We're all trying to catch the last of the light now that the rain has stopped. Why don't you join us?" Mary's arm extended them into her home.

Lavinia followed Mary through to the French doors leading out to a magnificent view of the park across the street.

"We looked at town houses in this area," Lavinia spoke to Mary as they each took a glass of wine from the drinks table, "but at the time we could not afford it. Matthew was quite the junior at his law firm. Then he went to work for my father and he flourished. We found the most charming detached terrace in Fulham. We quite love it." And Lavinia touched her husband's arm.

Was she claiming him as her territory? Mary asked herself. She could not tell if this woman knew anything about her or if she was just being affectionate. In any event, Mary liked her. She was friendly. She didn't blame Lavinia for giving Mary fair warning that this man was hers.

She'd have done much the same.

Lavinia found Tom Branson standing near the railing. She made a motion to Matthew that she was going over to say hello. Matthew nodded. Mary noticed her father motioning Matthew over.

Matthew turned ever so slightly towards Mary, his face guarded then walked over to her father.

Mary was far more flustered than she cared to admit. Her heart was beating fast. Just having him near her did it. Those blue eyes were the very devil.

How had she managed to fall so easily into an infatuation? And with a married man? Was it because he wanted to help her achieve a lost dream? Or was that a cover story? Did he do this with all women clients? Charm and flatter them until they succumb to his allure? How was she to know? All she knew was that someone she expected to despise, to use and expose his sexism turned out to be a kind and giving man. Charming yes. But she got no sense of predatory behaviour from him. It had only been the one evening. He had not told her of his wife. And he had flirted with her.

The mixed signals were confusing. Mary congratulated herself on covering it all with grace and aplomb. There was no reason anyone would suspect anything…

Her sister sidled up beside her.

Sybil leaned in and whispered in her ear "So why are you and that guy eye fucking each other so intently? Have you done it already?"

Mary blushed furiously, mouth agape, but said nothing.

XX

Matthew felt his heart in his mouth. He could hardly get out any more words.

His mouth dry from the introduction of Lavinia to Mary.

It was not exactly true they could not have afforded this kind of townhouse in the center of London even as he was just starting out. Lavinia's money would have paid for it. He had insisted upon waiting until they could afford one on their own. He had a complex relationship with Reginald Swire. The older man suspected Matthew wanted to marry for personal gain. Matthew did everything he could to prove how clever and smart he was so as to earn his position with Swire Inc. He happened to be dating Lavinia at the same time. Reginald grew to like Matthew and hired him. Almost as soon as that happened, and contrary to everything he should have done, Matthew told Reggie that he wanted to leave and set up on his own. That he could make his own money. His own way in the world. Swire had seen the glint of ambition in the younger man's eye. The two had parted friends and remained father and son in law.

So why was he feeling guilty? His wife was just exchanging pleasantries with a member of staff from his new client. If Lavinia figured out who Mary was, Matthew had no notion for she gave nothing away.

Mary was the Public Relations Director of Grantham LTD. Nothing more. He shook his head. He knew that was a lie. She had filled his thoughts over the past days. He tried to shake them off. Get back into the rhythm of his life.

But it was no good. He wanted to help her. To get to know her. He had not told Lavinia why he knew the way to Mary's home. He had not told her anything. That had been done no matter how he rationalized it for the simple reason he did not want to.

Dangerous. But he knew himself. He could do this. They could be friends.

Even if every time she looked at him, he felt something akin to wanting to fall completely hopeless in her arms.

Once again he shoved those thought aside.

The conversation with Lady Grantham was diverting. He could see the quick wit and intelligence of the daughter in the mother.

Robert was another story. He appeared as if he already believed hiring Matthew was a mistake. But it was too late. Matthew had already begun his investigations. There was no getting around it. But Robert had the look of a man about to be sentenced to the gallows about him.

Matthew knew why.

He just now needed to figure out a way to get Mary aside, without arousing suspicion from Lavinia or Robert, in order to seek her counsel.

They had both spent the past week in a flurry of meetings and hand holding regarding Brexit. He had intended to call her to discuss their equestrian venture. In the little idle time he had between meetings and settling his own finances he had played around on the internet searching for sites related to the purchasing of thoroughbreds.

He had no idea what he was looking for but it was fascinating just reading the lingo. An Irish bay gelding 16.1 hands. Well-mannered and an easy ride. Two points from the Irish SJA and jumps double clears 1m/1.10 plenty of scope and right attitude to go through the grades.

He had scratched his head in bemusement. Yes well he'd managed to learn legal jargon. He can do this as well.

The prices of quality show jumpers ranged from a few thousand upwards to double figures. He'd definitely have to take whatever Mary wanted and trust she knew best. She had mentioned opening up a riding school to help defray some of the costs in the overall scheme. The initial outlay for such a project though would be steep. Even with the grounds paid for as she would use Downton land and refurbish the old stables, it still needed to be modernized and equipped to entice the best types of students.

"You mean those who paid?" He had asked bluntly when their dinner discussion of a fortnight earlier had turned briefly to costs.

Mary had shaken her head. "I mean those with what it takes to succeed. To win. Only by developing a reputation for success can I hope to keep this going."

Matthew liked that response. It meant she was serious about the long term commitment to such a project.

He hoped she would also be that clear minded about the mismanagement at Grantham. He needed someone on his side as he approached Robert.

Matthew waited for an opportunity to take Mary aside. To talk privately. But she was being the hostess and conversing with every group and guiding them towards each other so that contacts and friendships could be forged.

He probably took too long a moment gazing at her for he had no idea that someone approached him from his left side.

"Beautiful isn't she?" The smooth baritone said.

Matthew tried not to appear startled. The man was the boyfriend. "Henry Talbot." And he held out his hand to Matthew.

Matthew nodded in acknowledgement of Henry's compliment towards the woman now walking down the hall to the more private areas of the house. He grasped Henry's hand with a firm grip. "Matthew Crawley. I've been hired by Mary to do some consulting work at Grantham."

Henry said, "I know. She's been planning this dinner party down to the last detail. Everything had to be just right."

Matthew gave a thin smile to Henry. Desperately trying to give nothing away. The man was taller than he was. Why did that irritate him? He was not normally given to being vain.

"Is that your Porsche outside?" Henry then asked. "It's a turbocharged flat-four?" He sounded impressed.

Matthew preened just a second before he reined it in. "Yes. Yes it is."

Henry nodded appreciatively. "I drove the 913 in competition."

Matthew inwardly groaned. But he couldn't let that go without a response. "I considered the 911-R as well. But as its mostly for around town driving I went with the 718. The new engine produces a better peak torque." He instantly regretted it. Is this was he's been reduced to, he thought. Some kind of macho competition with her boyfriend? Why did he even have to talk to him?

"Excuse me," Matthew said "I've got to have a word with someone." And he walked towards Tom Branson just to have something to do to get away from Henry.

Tom walked towards Matthew on the other side of the room. "Lavinia's out on the balcony still. Mrs. Carson and she have a teaching background in common."

Matthew glanced out to see his wife chatting amiably with an older couple. "Thanks for coming tonight. I thought it best we both get a chance to meet Robert. What's your impression?"

"He's definitely concealing something." Tom replied, his Irish lilt apparent. "And he's not a good enough actor to hide it."

Matthew nodded affirmatively saying with deep consternation, "Yes. And I'm afraid I know what it is."

"What?" Tom asked. "How concerned should they be?"

""Come over here." Matthew darted his eyes around the room.

The two men moved into a private corner. "Robert is skimming money from his company's funds." Matthew spoke in a hushed tone. "He's taken over £50,000. Started off with a few thousand last year. That was put back in at a later date with a clumsy cover up. But this year it's escalated to tens of thousands."

Tom gave a low whistle. "Playing the gee-gee's or something is he? He doesn't seem the type. I found him rather fussy and high minded." He turned to Matthew. "Shame really. The daughter is really a smasher."

Matthew's brow shot up.

Tom noticed and it basically confirmed his suspicions of the other day. He clarified "Don't worry Matthew. I meant the younger daughter."

Matthew turned pale as he realized he had completely given himself away on his attraction to Mary.

"Watch yourself there." Tom said to him in a dead level tone. "You're a good man. This could be real trouble."

Matthew swallowed thickly. He appreciated Tom's candor. And his concern. "I will."

But he wondered if it was already too late?

XX

Mary's mobile went off. She excused herself and walked into her office.

Answering as it was from Edith, they set a time for Mary to go for the dress fitting. Edith's wedding to Bertie Pelham was still months away but Edith wanted Mary and Sybil's bridesmaids dresses ready. If Mary had ever thought Edith would be the first of the Crawley girls to marry, she would also have considered alien invasion.

But it was so. And she couldn't be happier for Edith and Bertie. They looked perfect together.

Could she ever find that?

Just then she heard the rustle of the door opening. She turned to find Matthew in the door way.

"Can we have a word?" He asked quietly.

She nodded. He closed the door behind him.

Matthew walked towards her. "I…. I'm sorry for not being in touch sooner but with the Leave vote…"

"I know." Mary's voice was unintentionally chilly. It just came over her as soon as he walked in. Could she trust him? Was her attraction overriding her reason?

Matthew caught her rebuff. "I do still want to go forward with our plans."

"Why didn't you tell me you were married?" She asked directly.

"I…." Matthew stammered. They were so close. All evening he had wanted her this close to him. "I…I didn't think it was important. That wasn't why we were meeting."

Mary knew the truth of that. And yet it was maddeningly all wrong. It was important.

They both knew why.

But neither could say.

"How can I believe your true purpose? If you use this kind of charm to score with women…"

"No!" Matthew practically shouted. Then he quickly lowered his voice. "I don't. I never have. I left my ring at the gym." He closed his eyes and put his head back. "I honestly just found our conversation engaging. I don't want it spoiled by my thoughtlessness."

Mary believed him. "It won't be."

Their eyes met. They stayed on each other before either spoke again.

Matthew opened his jacket. He pulled out a checkbook from his inner pocket. "Here. Let me make the first down payment in our investment."

Mary answered "Are you sure? I've not really crunched any numbers…"

"I believe you know best what to do. Set up an account with your own bank. I'll find a solicitor to make up the paper work all legal…" He leaned over the desk. "Unless of course you want to find one?"

"No." Mary had decided. "I trust you."

Matthew's smile was all the reward she needed. "Thank you." And he continued to write. He pulled the check off the pad and handed it to her.

"£20,000" She exclaimed. "I can't take such a large figure…."

"In for a penny in for a pound." He replied. "To show my commitment. Please accept it. And that way we will have an excuse to have dinner again. So that we can talk about how best to utilize the funds."

"Do we need an excuse?" Mary's eyes met his again. She saw his jaw tighten.

"I'd like to keep this between us for just now." He replied hoping she would realize his need for privacy.

Mary nodded. She understood. She felt the same. "Your wife is a very charming person."

Matthew was surprised. "That's quite good of you to say."

Mary smiled. "We're very much alike. So I have to like her."

They shared an awkward laugh.

Dammit, Mary thought. She had hoped the attraction she had felt towards Matthew at the dinner was transitory. The night. The wine had gotten the best of her. That she'd be herself the next time they met.

But no. It was still there. Stronger if anything. Palpable in the tense atmosphere that surrounded this conversation.

Neither had done anything untoward. And yet it felt as if the betrayals had already begun.

Matthew tried to steer back to the conversation he needed to have with Mary. "I'm going to have to set up a formal meeting with Robert within a fortnight."

Mary was concerned. "Sounds ominous I think?"

Matthew's mouth hardened into a grimace. "Yes I'm afraid it is. I think I've uncovered at least one of the sources of the misappropriated funds."

Mary replied, "Shouldn't this wait until we all meet?"

Matthew's head nodded affirmation. "I will give all the details then. But I didn't want anyone blindsided by what I've found. Especially not you." And his voice turned soft and concerned.

"I'm listening." Mary reached out to him unconsciously. She took his hand.

He felt her warmth and a shock of desire spun through his body. Not now, he said to himself. Not now.

"Your father, Mary. Robert is the source of the embezzlement…." At her shocked and angry look he fumbled and continued to try to defray some of the anxiety. "I…I don't know why he's doing it. I don't think it's meant with any criminal intent…."

But that just made things worse. "Criminal intent? Do you intend to bring charges against him?" Her voice a mix of anger and confusion.

"No." He shook his head vigorously. "As I told you at dinner I'm not an investigator. But the issue has to be laid out to the entire board if I am ever to make recommendations on how to fix your financial straits. I would like your input on how best to approach it."

"What proof do you have?" Mary could not believe what she was hearing. "You can't make such an accusation without proof."

Matthew replied, "I'm still in the gathering stage. I have enough to satisfy myself that I'm right. But not enough to bring forward yet. I just wanted to forewarn you about my suspicions."

Mary nodded slowly. "Let me look at what you have. I want to see it all for myself. I'm sure there is an explanation. My father is many things, but he's not a criminal."

"I know he's not. He must be in some desperate trouble to take the money. I'm sure he intended for it to be put back in before anything was found to be amiss but it all rather conspired against him I'm afraid." Matthew tried to reassure her but she just seemed to get more agitated.

"I'm sorry about all of this. I wish I could think of something to say that would help."

"You mustn't let it trouble you. You were hired to do a job and you're doing it." Mary's voice couldn't help but turn cold at that reality.

Matthew's response came fast. "It does trouble me. It troubles me very much."

He reached out for her again. His touch grazed her bare shoulder.

"Then that will be my consolation prize." Mary's quiet answer almost lost on him. She brushed her cheek against the knuckles of his hand as his fingers gently pressed into her skin.

XX

 _Please as always feel free to review, comment, opine in general! I love reading them all! Thank you so much! Next on the writing agenda is the epilogue to A Stitch in Downton Time (see apollo I've not forgotten :)_


	5. Chapter 5: Conversations

_I know...but the time traveling muse is escaping me at the moment...so_

XX

Sybil washed the last dinner plate.

Mary leaned over the sink to turn off the tap. The Wedgewood china had to be hand washed rather than put in any dishwasher. Mary took the set from the 1920s Downton collection when she first moved to London. She loved using the pieces during dinner parties as well as family gatherings.

The dinner went down well in Mary's opinion. She had it catered by a local favourite restaurant and everyone enjoyed the choices of appetizers and entrees. All the guests got on as well as could be expected. Matthew and Tom representing CB Properties chatted amiably with the Mayhews new business clients of Grantham LTD. They had substantial landholdings in the midlands and were looking to sell off some acreage. Robert was particularly solicitous towards them.

He patently ignored Matthew. As her father told Mary, "I don't expect we shall ever be friends."

Mary had no comment to that. She had done her duty by her father and brought Matthew in as he wanted. What Matthew found or did not find was out of her hands.

She did not reveal her own personal relationship with Matthew. If that was even the term to be used.

She was still deciding what he was. If anything, to her. Other than a business partner now.

Anything else was too dangerous.

Lavinia had struck up a chat with Mary at the tail end of the dinner. Matthew looked on rather too nervously, Mary noticed that Lavinia and he had exchanged significant stares upon his return from the privacy of Mary's office.

"Have you lived in London long?" Lavinia asked. "In conversation earlier with your father, Lord Grantham, he said your family home was in Yorkshire. That you rode horses in an earlier career. That must have been exciting."

Mary answered with only a slight hesitancy in her voice. "That was a long time ago. I've been here about three years. I moved here permanently when I took the job at Grantham LTD."

"So is this your property?" Matthew rather too keenly asked. "Or the primary lease holder?"

"Matthew." Lavinia gently tried to chide her husband. "Ever the inquisitor on real estate," she turned back to Mary. "You'd think he never thought about anything else."

The comment had an edge to it. Especially combined with the look she threw Matthew.

"It's fine." Mary said to Lavinia, diffusing the situation. She answered Matthew's question. "Yes, it's an old Crawley freehold property. It was a big move as my father expects me to pay for all the upkeep. But it has turned out to be the right one."

Matthew looked pleased. Mary wondered if that meant he was happy his investment was secured by this plum property?

An awkward pause ensued. Mary quickly changed topic to an inquiry about Lavinia's teaching responsibilities. Lavinia responded to Mary recounting a lively anecdote about sports day at her primary school. Sybil, on the other side of table, asked Matthew a question and he turned away to answer it.

Mary relaxed as the conversation flowed easily again.

One thing Mary was sure of. Lavinia suspected something. She knew it. It was still at the fringe of her consciousness, but it was definitely there.

Mary was still in a state of shock herself about this turn of events. She had no intention of embarking on any kind of relationship with Matthew when tasked with engaging his expertise in consultant work. And yet she could no longer deny the attraction she had felt at their private dinner.

What was she doing accepting his money and agreeing to invest it in a championship level horse?

It was mad.

She was mad even to think it could work. That she could return to competition. That she could make up for lost years of training and honing her skills.

But the challenge in his eyes was something Mary could not resist.

She had regretted her rash decision to leave competitive riding. But she had accepted her chance was gone. Had settled into another life. A new job. Got back into dating after being so single minded for so long in her training and competition. Found Henry on a lark trip with some friends to the race course. The excitement they shared about being in control, feeling the speed in their bones, and going for broke. Her on a horse. He in his Ferrari or Porsche. They had connected. It had been exciting.

Having someone to go to parties with. To go to bed with. To have regular sex with. These were things Mary had given up in her single minded training for the Olympics. There had been no time in her life for such things.

So as a novelty, it was fun. At the beginning. When she had considered that perhaps the relationship had finished its course, Henry had suggested moving in together. As the next logical step. They got along. They liked each other. Why not?

That was over a year ago.

It had been enough.

Or at least had seemed enough.

But no longer.

Not after the conversation with Matthew. His interest in her life. Her hopes.

If Mary was brutally honest with herself, not after those cerulean pools of blue turned direct into her gaze and into her soul.

She had never felt anything like it. His eyes had bored into hers. With a penetrative gaze that was as honest as it was unsettling.

What had he been doing? Was he even thinking about the consequences of such a look?

Was she?

Sybil must have sensed Mary's thoughts. "So what is up with this Matthew guy? The two of you were gone a long time in your office. You can't really be thinking of pursuing a relationship there?"

Mary paled. "Don't be ridiculous. He's just a consultant we hired. What were you talking to him about at dinner?" Mary tried to steer the conversation away. "You two seemed intense as well."

Sybil replied readily, "I asked if he was the same Matthew Crawley that had donated at the director level to the Stroke Association."

"His father died of a stroke." Mary answered before thinking.

Sybil gave her sister a sly look. "Yes, so he told me even though he didn't like to talk about it. But of course you wouldn't know anything about his private life. As he's just a hired hand."

Mary put the last dish away in the cupboard. She sighed heavily. "Can you just give this all a miss, Syb? I don't want to talk about it."

Sybil's mouth turned inward and her eyes widened in concern. But she said nothing.

XX

Henry stared intently at Mary. His blue-green eyes wide, unblinking.

"What?" Mary quizzically asked. They were getting ready for bed.

"I want to ask you a question."

"Sounds serious." Mary said as she turned down the duvet cover. "I'm not sure I can manage anything else tonight." The evening had exhausted her. Sybil's on the nose observations unnerved her. Uncomfortable on the heels of Matthew's revelations about her father's misappropriation of funds. And his own revelation that it troubled him deeply to cause her any pain.

It was all too much for an evening.

"You're always wonderful at these things. Managing to put everyone at ease. Amazing really. I never know what to say." Henry pushed a pillow against his head.

Mary shrugged. "A lifetime of social engagements makes you seem a genius at small talk."

"Your posh life is still good for something." Henry rejoined.

Mary gave him a hard side-eye. "I think I hold my own in all types of company."

"I know." Henry sounded just a bit irritable. "Especially rich and ambitious real estate brokers."

"Your meaning is?" Mary's chilly response.

"You seemed very friendly with Matthew Crawley. All that time in your office."

"You were watching over me? Am I not allowed to be out of your presence?" Mary had not meant to sound so defensively testy.

Henry rolled his eyes. "Of course not. I just noticed is all. Seemed odd given your proclivity to mingle equally with each guest. What is he? Some kind of distant relative your family hopes to dig their claws into?"

"He's nothing to me or my family." Mary said wearily. She was tired of defending her actions. "What was it you wanted to ask me?"

Henry refocused his thoughts. "Yes. Yes." He reached out to take Mary's hand. "Do you know what today is?"

Mary furrowed her brow. "No. What?" Just another long day…

"You told me a year ago today you'd answer me with regards to getting married. You put me off then, saying we didn't know each other well enough. I think we do now. So I want to return to that conversation."

"And do what?" Mary's body betrayed her, turning stiff and uncomfortable at Henry's suggestion. It was, she realized, the last thing she wanted to do.

"Ask you to marry me."

Mary's eyes closed. "Because it's an anniversary? My goodness. Do you have a marriage license in your pocket or something?"

"You do try my patience." Henry replied. "Not everything I say is an opportunity for a sarcastic return."

She gripped his hand. "I'm sorry. It's just been a long day."

"What do you say? Can you even consider it?"

"We are happy as we are. Why do we need to change anything?" Mary tried to rationalize.

"To make things more settled." Henry replied evenly. "We've put so much into our careers. Now I think we should focus on ourselves. Enjoy being together. You always make us run hot or cold. Maybe if we're married, things will be more stable between us."

"I'm not sure that's the best reason to marry." Mary hated being so evasive, but this was the last conversation she wanted to have with Henry right now. "Shouldn't some mention of love be a part of it?"

Henry sighed. "I would have thought that was understood."

Mary snapped, "I suppose. But love is an urge that fades."

"You really can be cynical. We've made it this far. I want to be part of your family."

Mary's gaze returned to Henry's eyes. "Don't I have a say in that matter?" At his hurt look, she relented, "Will you let me think about it?"

"Of course." But his hand retreated away from hers.

XX

Matthew flipped through the channels. It was still a few days away but Lavinia was packing for the short trip with her school group. She was in charge and wanted to make sure she had not forgotten anything.

"Did you pack the extra charger I bought you?" Matthew asked, his finger still on the remote. "I left it down on the kitchen table."

Lavinia rummaged through the small satchel. "Yes. It's here."

Given recent events on the continent, her school had changed the location of the trip. Rather than Paris, the itinerary now included just a fossil hunting expedition in the Peak district. Matthew was very relieved at the change.

"I wrote down the number of the small inn that the head booked at the last minute." She reminded him.

"I have it." Matthew replied. "It's already on my mobile."

He lounged on the bed.

"Top Gear is on." He said finally settling on a station. "A repeat though." But his voice trailed off as he realized who was on the episode. He hadn't known the man during the episode's initial run.

Lavinia peered over the top of her suitcase. "Isn't that Henry?"

"Yes." Matthew said, more sourly than he intended. "He's driving the 488 Ferrari."

"Jealous?" Lavinia took in Matthew's expression. "Wish you could drive it yourself."

Matthew was only half listening. "He's prattling on about his racing accomplishments. Just drive the damn car will you" he commented to the TV screen.

Lavinia shook her head. "All men love the sound of their own voices. He's no exception."

"Am I like that?" Matthew looked over the bed to his wife.

"Of course. Your voice just happens to be more charming than most. So you get away with it." And she zipped the suitcase shut.

He snorted, amused at Lavinia's remark. "I'm not sure that's an exemption or a back handed compliment."

"You were completely absorbed in that TV programme and making your own declarations about Henry's pomposity even as you sounded just like him." Lavinia observed.

Matthew frowned deeply. He sounded like Henry? But Henry's a smug git.

She laid down next to him on the bed. Matthew flipped the channel to a cooking show. Lavinia was half watching while reading a book she picked up from the side table.

Matthew was writing notes on an on line article about currency deflation and dozing. His mind drifted.

He was brought back to what he was doing by Lavinia's question "why a sudden interest in horses?" Her eyes confused by what she took in. What she didn't want to contemplate.

Unbeknownst to him he had drawn several of the animals in the margins of the note book.

XX

Once she accepted his check, Mary had become partners with Matthew. In order that things remained on an equal footing between the, she promised to include some of her own money in the startup operation. That way she felt not exactly obliged or in his debt.

When they met next for dinner, she presented him with the statements from the banking account she set up to show him her contribution.

Matthew said "that was not necessary. You are providing the land and the stables. You're finding the students. Renting out the stalls to other owners. That's quite enough. You're doing the heavy work. I'm just the…" His eyes twinkled, "the rather laid back money man."

Mary still insisted. "It's the only way I will agree. I'm very stubborn."

"So am I." Matthew responded. He simply could not help the flirtatious tone that overtook his voice every time he spoke with Mary.

He sat back in his seat.

Through some kind odd unspoken mural consent, neither brought up Matthew's continuing inquiry into Robert's finances. To Matthew, the evening was far too pleasant for such conversation.

They had returned to the rooftop table of their first meeting. The meal had been impromptu, the result of finishing up with the solicitor where they formally signed all the documents to create Downton Stables, Mary Crawley president. He had asked whether she was free for dinner as they emerged from the offices and walked down the steps to the pavement.

Mary was light-headed with excitement. Signing the papers had put it all out there for her. It was real. This was happening. She agreed to share a meal with Matthew. As long as she paid her share.

"Otherwise I think you'll take advantage?" She had teased. It had ever been a tactic of Mary's to keep up a banter in order to never actually discuss anything serious. It was one of her many layers of protection.

Matthew knew what she was doing. He just wasn't sure what he was up to. He felt drawn to her, pulled like a lodestone, a magnetic force unable to resist it's polar opposite.

"When can we begin to look at horses? Now that we've got the accounts and the paperwork has been signed I'm eager to get on with it." He decided on keeping straight to business.

Mary pursed her lips. "I've got one or two leads. Friends of mine from years ago have a mare they want me to see."

"You sound uncertain though?" He inquired.

"Hmmm…yes. It's just a nagging question of why do they want to sell? If she's championship potential, why aren't they keeping her?"

"That's a shrewd assessment. I see where you're coming from. How did you find Diamond then?"

"He was bred on the estate. At the time we had several horses. I grew up riding Diamond. We felt each other's moods. Sensed each other's timing. He was perfect." Mary's face became a flood of emotion. "I suppose you think that silly."

"No." Matthew said seriously. "I think it's the most open you've ever been with me. Thank you."

Mary smiled again. "You must meet him. He's still at Downton. He's got an entire pasture to himself. We had put him out to stud a few times, but not as he's gotten older."

"I'd love to." That dark tone again.

"As soon as you deserve it." Mary tried to quip again. "You know nothing about horses at all. You need to get used to way things are done."

Matthew smiled broadly and said "I've looked on line at the _Fédération Equestre Internationale_ rules and regulations. Also I was going to inquire how will the new protective riding hat ruling affect you? Should I join BETA?"

"Impressive Mr. Crawley. I see you've done your homework. I won't underestimate you again." Mary took a sip from her wine glass.

Matthew's gaze stayed just a second or two too long on her face.

"I have time this week end. Lavinia is shepherding some students to Debyshire for a school trip." He tried to sound casual. Why was he feeling nervous about this? He wasn't doing anything but making an appointment to see a horse. "Maybe we could take a drive to see this mare?"

"The horse is in Warwickshire. Near Rugby." Mary informed him.

"My old stomping ground." Matthew said. "I know exactly where that is."

"You went to Rugby?"

"Yes. Why? It's not Eton or Harrow of course. But it is one of the better ones."

"That's not what I intended to imply. I know some friends who went to Rugby is all. Edith's beau Bertie Pelham included."

Matthew raised an eyebrow. "Pelham? He might have been a senior when I was just starting. The name rings a bell."

"Did you play?" Mary asked.

"Rugby?" Matthew laughed. "Only when required to for field games or such. I was a more into cricket and rowing I'm afraid."

"Henry played rugby for his local team. He never made it into the championship leagues. So he switched to racing."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Matthew responded darkly.

"He still plays casually, but it's not the same he says. The level of competition is just not the same." Mary tried to keep the conversation level, but she sensed Matthew's discomfort. As if he was being compared to her athletic boyfriend.

"I can well imagine." Matthew wanted to change the conversation. "Your mother is not at all as I would have expected. She was a backup singer for a punk rock band before she married?"

Mary gave him a wink. "Something my father doesn't like to mention, but yes. Her ill spent youth he'll call it."

"I can see where you get your boldness from though." Matthew ventured. "You are very much like your mother."

"And you? I know nothing about your family other than it's just yourself and your mother."

"We've a strong bond even though I don't see her as much as I should these days. She's retired back to Manchester. My mother has a clarity about her that I admire. She tells it like it is. I think you'd like her. My father and she were devoted to each other, very much like your parents." Matthew said.

"Looks can be deceiving." Mary said without thinking.

"I'm sorry." Matthew apologized. "I didn't intend to call up anything unpleasant."

"Nothing to worry about." Mary returned. "All in the past. But events in one's family have a way of influencing you whether you realize it or not. I'm very wary of long term commitments according to Henry."

Matthew swallowed hard. "Really?"

"He's asked me to marry him."

Matthew had been doodling the skyline again, but his pencil tip broke at that revelation. "Did you give him an answer?" Matthew asked far too quickly.

"I put him off."

"Good…I mean…if that's what you want." Trying desperately to sound neutral on the subject.

Mary looked up from her plate. She had deliberately avoided his eyes when she told him of Henry's proposal. She didn't know why, but she knew she would see a hurt look behind his eyes. One he tried to hide with astonishment or surprise. But she knew it would be there. For she had felt the same when she found out he was married. It was wrong, they both knew. Why they tried to hide it.

But it was there.

"I should marry him. We've been living together for a year." Mary felt at a loss. She did need to talk to someone about it. "Marriage was always on the horizon but yet I don't know that I'm the marrying kind. I'm far too stubborn. Heartless at times. My sister Edith can attest to that. I'd only make someone miserable."

"I doubt that." She hardly caught his whispered response.

"How do you know? You hardly know me."

Matthew's lips pursed as he contemplated an answer. "I know that if someone wants to marry you, it's because of those traits. Otherwise they don't understand you at all."

"Was it like that for you?" Mary spoke more boldly than perhaps she should. "Why did you marry?"

"We had been together about six months. I thought it was the natural next step. Neither of us saw the point in waiting." Matthew gathered his thoughts. "I wanted to get on with things. Lavinia did as well."

And that was the truth. Matthew had been hired on by the corporate law firm, but he was eager even then to find his own way in the world. He did not want to be tied down by clocking hours and gouging clients. Marriage would give him the kind of stability he would need from which he could launch his greater ambitions. He had been eager to move on into the next phase of his life. He knew that in marrying Lavinia it would draw him closer to her father, the president of one of the largest investment groups in London. But he told himself that was not the reason he had asked. He did love Lavinia. She was patient with him. Encouraging him to leave the firm and accept the position proffered by Reggie to oversee the new real estate branch operation. Matthew had thrived under the pressure, enjoying the acquisition of clients and properties all over London. He had noticed, however, the dark looks and cutting remarks of his fellow employees.

They had believed he slept his way into the positon he held. And there was no way for Matthew to deny it.

He had not thought at the time there was anything wrong in it. The two had come together at the same time. His relationship with Lavinia. The job offer from her father. It was only in later contemplation, that he realized the sniggering was the result of the belief that he had an ulterior motive for marriage.

No way no way to change that perception except to leave. Which is exactly what he did. Much to the chagrin of Reggie Swire who tried to talk him out of it. But Matthew had been determined, at the cost of blowing his chances completely, to start all over. On his own. He took no clients with him. Spending almost half a year studying the lay of the land of the current real estate market before staking his claim alongside Tom Branson in their start up in Camden Town. The whirlwind of success that followed had been beyond Matthew's dreams. But it was something he very soon took in his stride. The long hours, he would argue, necessary to any kind of ambitious venture.

But it had all taken more of a toll on his marriage than he was willing to contemplate.

He fell silent in the conversation with Mary.

Mary said, "We all think we know what we want when we're young. So eager to be older. But then when we are adults, it's damned scary. I want to sometimes just run away from it all."

"But then you remember the thrill of being on your own. Succeed or fail, it's all on your shoulders. I think you know what I mean. Like in a race, you know the time you have to beat. The hurdles your horse has to cross. It's all up to you." He looked up at her from under his eye lashes. "I think you like it."

"I think you know me too well indeed." Mary was nonplussed by his all-knowing look. As if she had revealed herself to him, without even realizing it.

"So what do you say? This week end? A drive to Warwickshire to see a man about a horse?" An eyebrow raised in case she said no.

Instead she nodded. "Pick me up at 9am. I'll telephone them to let them know we're coming."

A commitment made. Another step taken.

XX

 _Thanks to everyone reading, reviewing, liking this story. I'm hoping to be true to all the characters. Not making anyone a cartoon ...or letting anyone off the hook. As always I love hearing from you._


	6. Chapter 6: A Visit to the Country

XX

"Mary what do you mean you have a meeting on Saturday? I thought you said you'd come and watch me play?" Henry was putting on his trainers. "And we'd grab a meal after."

"I know." Mary replied, a bit muffled as she was inside the walk in closet. "But this came up at the last minute and I need to go."

"What are you looking for anyway?" Henry glanced inside. She was pushing back some boxes in the corner.

She looked up. "Nothing…"

Henry chortled. "Nothing is not Lady Mary Crawley getting all hot and dusty throwing packaging around that have not seen the light of day since I moved in."

Mary blew a wisp of hair away from her eye. "I am looking for my riding boots if you must know." She moved a couple more boxes. "Ah. There …" And she grabbed a long case out from atop a trunk.

Mary carefully dislodged it and brought it out into the bedroom.

"Why?" Henry asked. "Why do you want those? You going riding? Do you want me to come along?"

"Absolutely not." Mary answered rather too hurriedly. Then more mordantly, "I'd never hear the end of it from Blake and the others. Oh 'you took our best player just to play around in the countryside.' No thanks. I want you to go."

She walked downstairs with the case. Henry followed.

"Why are you going?" Henry grabbed some water from the refrigerator. "Thought you gave all that up a long time ago. You never even talk about it."

"I…" Mary hesitated. "I might be getting back into it. I'm going to look at a horse today."

Henry scrunched his eyes. "Okay. Is this just for recreation or…what?"

Mary opened the case. "No. We can talk about it all later, but I'm planning on getting back into competition. At least at a local level for now."

"Mary. That's great. But how will that affect work? The week ends? We hardly have the same schedule as it is."

Hmmm…Mary thought. Mostly because of your sports that I've put up with for over a year.

"I haven't really settled all the details yet." She evaded the question.

That was for sure.

"I would go you know. But this game is against our biggest rival..." Henry was looking around for his keys. "Otherwise…."

Mary puffed out some air, trying not to sound ever so slightly relieved. "It's quite boring, actually. Trying to find the farm. Getting a vet examine her. Have to wait. Then I'll give her a good once over. Then we'll negotiate a price. If we agree, I'll be boarding her at Downton so I will then have to set up transportation."

"In that case," Henry grabbed his gym bag and kissed her hard. "You sound like you got it all under control. I won't be back until very late. I'll just grab some grub with the crew."

And he was out the door.

Mary's eyes went half-lidded. She put her hand to her forehead. She had never deliberately lied to Henry before. She was unnerved at how easy the story flowed from her lips.

And how little she seemed affected by it. It was more the fear of being caught out that the guilt of lying to her boyfriend.

Matthew was to arrive within the hour. His text message read that he had already put in the Crossley Bridge Horse Farm into his GPS. They could have breakfast along the way.

She started to hum under her breath in anticipation of his arrival.

This was dangerous. They should not be doing this. Just being around him made her different. Made her feel things she did not want to feel.

She was confident in herself and her abilities. Didn't need anyone to support her dreams like some internet meme or FB viral message.

Didn't need Matthew Crawley to walk into her life and tell her to resume her career as if she had never thought of it before.

She had considered it. Many times. Had started to make phone calls. Had gone to Ireland to the Dublin Horse Show to support some friends last year.

But had done nothing about it.

Until Matthew said he'd help. And now she accepted his money, started a company, and was going to see a horse today she'd probably buy to start a stable back at her family's home in York.

All because he listened to her. Heard her. Believed in her.

Well she believed in herself. She didn't need some limpid blue eyed boy to feel whole. To feel strong.

To feel love.

Mary groaned into her hands. The word scared her. A word that meant loss of control. Succumbing to emotions she had suppressed for the majority of her adult life. Restrict her options. Make her answerable to someone other than herself.

And he was married.

What the hell was she thinking about?

What the hell was he?

XX

Matthew arrived at Mary's door on time. Mary peeked out, held out three fingers to wait, and he waved that he understood.

The day was going to be a scorcher. 36° at least. Sunny at least as he had feared rain. Rain that might have prevented them going.

And he wanted to go. He had anticipated it for days since their dinner.

Lavinia had left for Derbyshire on Friday morning. Going to Hall Dale quarry with eight children, two aides, and assorted parents as she described them.

He had kissed her good-bye and said not to worry about coming back late on Sunday. He'd have a pizza and a warm bath ready for her.

And he would be. He was a good husband who loved his wife.

He did.

But it wasn't the same. He knew it wasn't.

He was going to have to pull it together. This thing with Mary.

Thing.

Relationship.

Affair?

The word itself horrified him. How had it even popped into his head?

No. Not that. He wouldn't do that. He'd never do that. Matthew gripped the steering wheel. He stared hard ahead.

He would not put Lavinia through that.

That. …that word. Affair.

But he knew he was falling into something with Mary.

He just wasn't sure what it was.

So he was here.

He was going to focus on today. On being with Mary. A day in the country with Mary.

Matthew checked the fuel gauge. It was about a two-hour drive on the A40 and M1 once they escaped London traffic. They were to arrive at the farm that was just outside the city by lunchtime.

The horse was a 15.9 hands mare. Liver chestnut with a long stripe down the bridge of her nose. She jumps both 1.35m fences and lope around the cross country course with an easy gait.

At least that's what Mary told him. She was so excited to see Jellybean. Though she said, as a sardonic aside, "That name will have to be changed."

Matthew thought it adorable.

The front door opened and Mary emerged with a long bag flung around her shoulder.

Matthew noticed her tank top and jeans, buried his first reaction in a muffled grunt, and got out to help her by opening up the front boot.

She shoved the bag inside.

He opened the passenger door.

"Thank you." She said, easing into the passenger seat of the Porsche. "I still say we could have taken the Jag. I'm just as good a driver as you." She teased. "Just not as obsessive."

Mary's XJ was parked on the road outside her town house.

"I know." Matthew laughed it off. "We'll take yours next time."

The two exchanged a glance that neither was quite willing to accept meant anything other than going to see another horse if this one didn't pan out.

He started the motor and eased it into reverse. The traffic was heavy through town, but lightened as they exited the city.

"So how do you know the Masons?" Matthew asked making the turn on the A40.

"William Mason Sr. worked on the estate years ago. Before he left to run the family stables. His son Will competed as a senior rider on the same circuit where I was a junior. He now runs the place."

"So why do you think they're selling her? Is it because the horse is not championship quality?"

"I'll know when I see her. Talk to the vet. Talk to Will. There could be many reasons." Mary replied calmly. "I'll know."

Matthew respected her confidence.

"Did you want to stop? Get some coffee?" He looked over at her. Back at the road. Then back at her again.

His blue eyes were shaded against the sun.

A very good thing Mary thought. Then realized that thought was complexly inappropriate.

There was a lot things inappropriate about him.

"We…we don't have to get coffee." He kept speaking, though he was stuttering now. "I…I like tea as well. We can stop at a tea shop if you prefer? … Or not at all…"

Like the way he kept talking. Even when he should stop.

"I think we have time. I'd like to have some tea." Mary touched his forearm lightly and squeezed it.

Matthew's hand tensed under her ministrations.

She released her arm. Placing it again on the seat of his car, it landed on his sketch pad.

Matthew glanced out the side of his left eye. Her hand fidgeted with the book.

"Do you want to look through it?" He asked with only the slightest reluctance.

"Would you mind?" Mary's hand clasped over it.

Matthew pursed his lips. He met her eyes. They were curious. Curious about him. His drawings. His talent.

"Sure. I'd love your honest opinion."

He was unstable around her. And it felt so good.

Mary picked it up. She took her time with each drawing. Faces. Landscapes. Buildings of London.

"What is this one?" She showed him a picture of a skyline.

He pulled down his sunglasses. "Uh… Edinburgh. Auld reekie as my old flat mate called it. I was visiting for a conference. I drew that from Calton Hill on a lunch break. That's the Nelson monument."

"Why is it warped like that?" The pencil sketch was circular, like looking at it inside a bubble.

"I compressed some of the space to create a more vibrant image." Matthew's voice got suddenly animated. "As if you were looking at it through a camera obscura."

"That's astonishing. I can see exactly what you were going for." Mary continued to look through the book. Many of the pictures were of his wife.

"Do you have a cat?" She showed him a drawing of a fluffy furball.

Matthew laughed. "Neighbour's. She spends most of her time though on our terrace."

Then Mary turned to her own drawing. She had never really seen it up close. Matthew really did have talent. Her family on her 18th birthday had insisted on a portrait for the family gallery at Downton. She had hated it. Her eyes were too close. Her mouth was all wrong.

This drawing, sketched in about ten minutes or so, captured her in a way that three month sitting never did.

Did she really appear to him like that?

Part of her was surprised it was still in the book. What? She said to herself, did you expect him to tear it out and furtively hide it? Had she already started to ruin his marriage? The thought horrified Mary.

The deepest part of her was happy he had not torn it up.

He was not that kind of guy.

Matthew's eyes kept darting back and forth from the road to the book to Mary's eyes.

As if Matthew could read her thoughts, her concerns, "Lavinia saw the picture. It fell open on my desk."

"Did she recognize me?" Mary asked. "At the party I thought I saw a glint of recognition. As if a penny dropped."

Matthew only slightly turned a paler shade of white. His hand gripped the steering wheel harder though, she noted.

"I … I don't know." His jaw tightened. "We didn't talk about it."

Mary dropped the subject. She continued to look through the book.

Matthew then restarted the conversation. "Lavinia thinks I should showcase my work in some way."

"I agree." Mary's voice was full of warmth. "You should." She showed him a sketch of a landscape.

He scoffed dismissively. "There's no money in it."

"Money's not the only object." Mary offered.

Matthew pulled his shades down again with one finger. He eyes bespoke total skepticism that Lady Mary Crawley ever had to even think about money in her life.

"Okay. Okay." She chortled. "I am not one to speak on that subject. But if I were you…"

Matthew was more abrupt than he intended, "You're not. It's mine. It's my escape." He was pulling the Porsche into a small space next to a cobblestone pavement. A tea shop was across the street.

The conversation was left there as they walked inside and sat down. Mary ordered a pot of tea and a selection of scones and sweets.

"If you're good at something…" Mary said as each sat back, relaxed to be off the road.

"I know you mean well." He faultered, then recovered his thoughts more concisely. "To bring it out would taint it with commercialism. Commerce. I don't want to do it."

Matthew's voice was steady now, "You have to have something that's just yours. I work hard at a job I'm good at. I don't love it. I love drawing. It's the thing you keep to yourself. To sell it, to make it a job... I'd have to think about what I'm drawing with an eye to a sale. This way I don't have to. We all should have that one thing."

He hesitated before saying, "Lavinia's father wanted her to go to work for him in some kind of capacity. She refused saying teaching was not only the thing she was good at but also the thing she loved. I don't have that. So I keep my drawing to myself."

Mary believed she was given access to a very private part of his psyche. A privilege she would cherish.

She asked quietly, "Is that why you're helping me? To find the thing I love again."

Matthew' eyes narrowed. He did not answer immediately. "I suppose it is. I know we are at odds over this situation with your father…"

She drew a quick breath. That was true.

He plunged on to finish his thought. "But I hope it won't affect us. Both our business relationship." He wavered again, "…and our friendship."

Mary nodded in support. He was going to change her life. A frisson of excitement shot through her body. She was ready.

A contemplative silence followed.

"Sybil is very nice…" Matthew remarked.

"Tom seems like a great guy…." Mary said at the same time.

Both looked at the other and laughed. Mary added, "Did you know they were dating?"

Matthew's mouth dropped open. "No. No I did not know that."

"I don't think he wanted to complicate the situation."

With the palpable tension between them more than apparent, they could do nothing but laugh at Mary's revelation.

"I'm good with that." Matthew said, wiping a tear of laughter from his cheek. "I'll let him tell me."

They finished the meal and paid. Walked back out into the heat.

"How much further?" Mary's brow was already beading with sweat. "We probably should have just had water."

"Tea teaches patience. Helps you think." Matthew replied, chewing on the last of the scones. "Even when it's as hot as Hades outside."

He maneuvered back onto the M1. "We have about 45 minutes left. How are you going to proceed?"

"When we get there, Will's already agreed to have a vet on call so that we can go over every inch of the mare." Mary's voice tried to stay neutral. "Then we go over her competitive history. I will test her out…"

His face turned. "I'll get you see you jump?"

Mary's mouth lit up into a bright smile. "Yes." Her tone changing to excitement. "You could too but unfortunately you've never even ridden a horse."

"You'd let me?" He asked quizzically.

"Well ride around the paddock anyway." Her lip twitched. "On a nice gentle beast. We can find you one."

"of course if you want to jump her…"

Matthew choked on the scone. His face was bright red

Mary answered cheekily, "Best not. I'll let you watch, though, if you're a good boy."

Matthew knew this was a very dangerous game they were playing.

Buy he didn't want it to end just yet.

XX

They arrived at Crossley Bridge Horse Farm at 11:30.

Will Mason Jr was there to greet them. "Mary it's so good to see you again."

The two hugged.

"Will this is Matthew Crawley."

"What's this?" Will said, smiling. He took Matthew's proffered hand. "I didn't know you were married."

"No." They both rushed saying at the same time.

"No." Mary recovered. "We just happen to have the same name. Matthew's on board as my business partner. He's come to see it all from the ground up."

"Great." Will gave them both another quizzical look, but changed the subject. "The Jellybean is over here." They started towards the stables. "Watch the mud. It rained buckets last night. Did you bring boots?"

Matthew shook his head negatively.

Mary said, "I did. I thought you might have a pair that would fit Matthew."

Matthew opened the front storage compartment of the Porsche. Mary slipped out the leather bag. Sitting in her seat, she changed out of the dressy suede Chelsea boots to her old riding boots.

Will led Matthew away to the tack room. "We can find you something."

A very good thing Matthew decided. Mary's actions were more than distracting. They were mesmerizing.

"Thanks." Matthew's words were lost on Will as he spoke them so softly. He tore his eyes away from the image of Mary pulling on her boots. She stretched out her leg, leaned down in the tank top, and slowly drew the left boot on.

God he was helpless at the knees, gasping. Like drowning.

He gulped and hurried after Will Mason.

Once he was properly outfitted, they all toured the facility. Matthew was very impressed with the Mason's livery yard.

"They are full livery." Mary explained. Matthew looked confused.

"They manage the entire care of the horse, including riding and training. Sometimes its self-board where the owners of the horses take care of feed and exercise."

Matthew nodded in understanding. "What would you be doing?"

"I was thinking of a working livery where I stable the horses but the owners pay a discounted rate for their horse's care. In return I provide the training and the riding expertise and can use their horses for that end."

Will interjected. "That's a good idea especially at the outset of an operation."

They walked into the stable. Matthew was overwhelmed with the stench of manure. He put a hand to his face and pinched his nose.

Mary chuckled. "You'll have to get used to it."

"The smell of success." Will concurred. "Townies often can't hack it."

Matthew smiled at their ribbing. "Alright. Alright. Where is Jellybean then?"

Mary shook her head at the mention of that name again.

"What?" Will asked jovially. "You don't like my choice of name?"

"Well…" Mary replied in mock humour. "It's not a very spirited name is it? Not like Thunder. Or Man O'War."

"My daughter named her that when she was born." Will explained as they approached Jellybean's stall. "The foal was a little thing at the time. But now at nine years you can see she's reached her full height."

"She's still small compared to the big thoroughbreds." Mary observed. "What's her regimen like? Is she happy in the stables? Does she load readily into the trailer?"

Matthew left the two of them to the details. He walked around the exercise yard. Watching the trainers put the horses through their paces. He heard one of the instructors say to the other than because of the heat they'd only do half an hour and then give them a good rub down.

He returned to the car one more time, then walked on past the stables and yard.

The setting was gorgeous. Nestled in a vale in between some of the rolling countryside, he could see for miles. He sat down on a rock outcropping. And started to sketch.

The heat was oppressive. He wiped his brow.

The sound of a car up the gravel drive made him turn. The vet had arrived Matthew presumed as he saw a woman get out with a large traveling leather case.

Approaching the yard once again, he heard his name called. Turning to see another woman at the door of a large stone house. "Mr. Crawley. Why not come inside for some lemonade." A small boned woman, she spoke in a lively and friendly tone.

Matthew waved and walked over. "Hello."

She nodded. "Daisy Mason. Will and Mary will be an hour at least. Come inside."

Once inside he could see that although the farm house was well over a hundred years old, it had been updated and renovated. The cool air inside felt refreshing.

A couple of young teens were at the table, looking down and texting.

"Maggie. Sarah. Look up for a second and say hello. The Crawley's are here to buy the Jellybean."

At that Maggie looked up suspiciously. And gave Matthew the once over.

Matthew started to correct Daisy once again that he and Mary were not a married couple, but was interrupted by Maggie. "What do you intend to do with her? She's just not going to be some kind of work horse for a bunch of simpleton beginners?"

Matthew liked her immediately. "No. Nothing of the sort. If Mary likes what she sees, we intend to offer a good price and she'll ride Jellybean in competition."

Maggie's eyebrow quirked up at that. "She's the best there is. I've ridden her in some local gymkhanas. I trained her." She was deadly serious.

"Then I'm sure Mary will think the same." Matthew answered affably.

Maggie eyes then turned downcast and ran out of the room. Her younger sister fled as well.

Matthew turned in bewilderment towards the girl's mother. "I…I'm sorry."

Daisy shook her head. "Not your fault Matthew. It's been hard on Maggie. That we have to sell the bean. Her upkeep and training regime is more than we can take on at the moment. We're not equipped for horses of that standard."

Matthew finally understood the reason for the sale.

"Will wants her to up to her full potential. That's why when Mary called he was so excited that she was returning to competition."

"I hope it all works out then." Matthew sat down at Daisy's offering of lemonade. "I know Mary was extremely interested in getting Will's message."

"We all thought she gave it up years ago. What happened?" Daisy pulled out the chair across from Matthew. "Something that occurred since you two got together?"

Matthew could no longer deflect that issue. "Mary and I are not together as you think. We are business partners in this venture. We just happen to share a last name."

"Oh." Daisy appraised the man before her. "That's a shame. You two look very natural together."

Matthew had no response other than to nod politely and change the subject.

XX

Mary scrutinized the mare. She was a beauty. But Mary knew from experience to not let her emotional attachment to an animal disturb her judgement of its fitness and potential.

"She seems spirited enough. But she doesn't bite or bolt?"

"No." Will reassured Mary.

"And she's had some experience." Mary looked over the information sheet Will had provided.

"She needs more. We've kept her here too long. Maggie's grown attached to her. I've not wanted to just let her go to anyone."

Mary got it. "I appreciate that Will. I will take very good care of her."

"So that's a deal?" Will asked.

"Once the vet gives her approval. And I ride her around the stable yard. We'll see." But Mary was stroking the horse and nickering under her breath. Will was satisfied he had chosen correctly.

"Do you have something for Matthew to ride? I promised him." Mary pulled her hands through Jellybean's mane.

"Has he ever ridden before?" Will inquired.

"Not at all. As you said, he's a townie through and through." Mary said with a sly smirk. "We need to go easy on him."

Will was called away to the office by a phone call.

"Are you talking about me?" Matthew' resonant voice echoed through the stable. He had left the house to meet back up with Will and Mary.

He approached Mary. "I may be what the Americans call a tenderfoot, but I think I can ride around without giving you any cause for embarrassment."

"I'm sure you can." Mary drawled. "You have good hands. But your seat will need work for sure."

He raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"You'll see." She simply answered mysteriously.

The vet walked over after her last inspection and note taking. "I still need to do some X-rays and do some dental, hoof, and vision tests. But she's a good horse."

Mary was thrilled. "Just the thing I wanted to hear."

Will walked back in. "So you want to give her a test drive?"

"Absolutely." Mary's excitement could no longer stand it.

She walked over to the mare and began to put on her bridle and saddle.

Will turned to Matthew. "I got one for you." He motioned to another stable where a chestnut Arabian was housed. "He's got a mellow nature. A good ride." And Will started to lead him out.

Matthew followed them outside.

Mary was already astride the mare and tapping her flanks towards the small jumping arena off to the left side of the stable.

Matthew walked quickly over so he could see her glide easily over the less than .60 jumps. She would put the horse through her paces first, then raise the bars to competitive heights.

Matthew was fascinated by it all. She trotted the horse over the poles so easily. The reverberations of the horse's breath, the scrunch of the dirt as the mare dug deep into the soil, Mary's grunts as she lifted herself off the saddle and glided as one with the horse over the vertical barriers.

She was clear and clean. No drops.

Mary pat Jellybean and whispered something in the horse's ear.

It was as if he was part of another world. One that existed outside of anything he had ever experienced. It was magical.

Mary said to Will, "with this heat I don't want to tire her out. I'll just walk her around."

Will nodded.

Mary turned to Matthew. "Are you ready?"

He gulped back any fear and walked over to the horse Will had by the bridle. "Put your left foot in the stirrup and swing your right over."

Matthew did as instructed. He gripped the saddle and heaved himself up. The last thing he wanted was to not be able to get on the horse in one move. All those damn days in the gym paid off it turns out, he chided to himself.

Mary clicked her mouth and nudged the mare closer. "Just walk beside me."

They made their way slowly around the yard. Matthew adjusting his seat to the rhythm of the horse.

"Thank you for this." He said to Mary.

Mary's face was glowing. "I've never had a better day out in years. Thank you for pushing me to do this." She pulled strands of hair behind her ear. "We'll just do a couple more around the yard and then we need to cool them off."

Mathew nodded, absorbing every moment. Every movement of Mary's body was fluid, graceful.

"I can't wait to see you in competition. Are you going to take her?" He asked.

Mary led them back to the stable entrance. "I think I will. She and I will get along just fine."

Matthew dismounted first as he came around to the horse's stall.

He grunted in pain.

Mary laughed. "I did warn you."

His thighs were burning. He could barely walk. He joked, "my seat definitely needs work."

She glanced down. Gave him a sly look. "It looks good from my vantage point." And winked.

He was too tongue tied to respond.

"Oh Matthew..." Mary laughed. "Your ears are red."

He made a move towards Mary as she dismounted. He held out his hand and she caught it. Mary was breathless from the exertion.

She turned towards him. In that moment, their lips met before either could think otherwise. Tongues twisted and coiled inside the other. The kiss was deep and intense. Her lips were soft and full. His tasted of salt. Matthew gripped her shoulders and pushed her towards him. Mary felt along his spine at the sweat that made his shirt wet and clingy.

The world stopped for just that moment. It was the two of them. Just the two of them.

Then Matthew's pocket buzzed and chirped. His hands flew away from her body. She released his mouth. His lips, bereft of her touch, still held the residual tingle of her contact with his own.

"Oh God." He said, his voice hoarse and ragged from the intensity of the kiss. He had no idea what he was doing.

Finally getting it together, Matthew fumbled inside his pocket and pulled out the iPhone. He closed his eyes and whispered in a rattled voice, "shit shit shit" over and over again. After another moment of gripping the device tight in his hand, he finally clicked on the green button and answered in an level tone, "Hello darling. How's the trip going?"

But Mary knew from his wide eyes and flamed cheeks that he was anything but calm.

Neither was she.

What had they just done?

XX

 _Uh oh…_

 _Reviews, comments, and opinions always welcome!_


	7. Chapter 7: The World Turned Upside Down

XX

 _The world stopped for just that moment. It was the two of them. Just the two of them._

 _Then Matthew's pocket buzzed and chirped. His hands flew away from her body. She released his mouth. His lips, bereft of her touch, still held the residual tingle of her contact with his own._

 _"Oh God." He said, his voice hoarse and ragged from the intensity of the kiss. He had no idea what he was doing._

 _Finally getting it together, Matthew fumbled inside his pocket and pulled out the iPhone. He closed his eyes and whispered in a rattled voice, "shit shit shit" over and over again. After another moment of gripping the device tight in his hand, he finally clicked on the green button and answered in a level tone, "Hello darling. How's the trip going?"_

Matthew shoved a finger in his ear. He couldn't hear her. He couldn't hear a thing… all the blood had rushed to his skull.

Was he going deaf?

The pounding muffled every other sound. In his ears. Inside his body. The pounding. Rhythmic whooshing sounds. … what the hell was she saying?

"Lavinia…Lavinia…" He walked away from Mary. He could not be around Mary. Not right now. Oh God Oh fucking God… Matthew bent first at the waist. He squat down on his haunches. He couldn't believe this was happening. He had to forget Mary. Forget what she just did to his body.

""Slow down, I can't hear everything." He yelled into the receiver. "Okay. Yes. Sorry. Yes. I got it now. Oh darling I'm so sorry…" Matthew's voice got softer. "Yes. I'll be there. I'll meet you whenever you can arrive. Don't worry. I'll see to him. I will call you when I arrive."

He clicked off the mobile. Stood up and walked further away from the stables. Out into the fresh air. He had to collect his thoughts before returning back to where Mary stood.

With more resolve than he felt Matthew spun on his heels and moved towards his car. He glanced back briefly to catch Mary's eye.

Their eyes met. He turned away quickly.

She followed him towards the car.

"I've got to go." Matthew jangled his key and the door chirped. "I have to go to Birmingham."

Mary could see his hand tremble.

"What's wrong?" Mary tried to remain calm, but his face had gone completely white and she was worried.

"What is wrong?" Matthew spoke through clenched teeth, he threw a hand on the car door and turned. He stared at her. Wanting to blame her. Knowing that was ridiculous. He exhaled finally. "What is wrong…" his voice cracking, drained of everything.

He jerked open the door. "I can't do this right now. I've got to go." He turned an unblinking eye towards her again. "You have to believe that. Can… Can you find your own way back?" He drummed his fingers on the metal surface.

Mary's voice was preternaturally calm. "Of course I can. Will and I still have to wait on some of the vet's test results and set up transport to Downton. As well as the price. I'll be several hours and I can take the train."

Mary stayed his hand.

He flinched again. Nodded and got in the car and started the engine. He drove off in the direction of the M6 as if he wanted to be a million miles away from her.

In that moment, Mary believed she had ruined everything…

XX

It had been too soon. And she had ruined everything. He would blame her.

Mary stood where his car had skidded away in the dirt and mud, and knew it. She kissed a married man. A good man.

It would never be the same between them.

She was with Henry. She was supposed to be true. She should feel awful.

She was meant to feel contrite.

But instead she felt exhilarated. Despite it all, a frisson of energy filled her body.

He had kissed her. She had kissed him. And it was perfect. For that moment the world stopped as they felt each other's hearts beat fast. And she was not wrong. In his kiss, she felt his…his … what?

Love?

In his lips. In the softness of his touch. In his remorse. Oddly she wanted him to feel remorse. It made his goodness that much more evident.

It was all contradictory and made her head spin. And it was most probably all ruined between them.

That haggard, shameful stare he had given her.

She had brought that look to his face.

But if she had the chance would she take it back? Take back the kiss?

Mary walked back to the stable, unable to answer that question. She liked how Matthew made her feel in that moment. She trusted him. Their kiss. Trust she had never felt for anyone. She was vulnerable in his presence.

She liked it.

Wait a minute, her brain said as she paused in her walk. No. She hated being vulnerable.

And for that reason alone, she knew it could never happen again. She was too practical. They just had a fleeting moment. That's all it was. Caught up in the excitement. Something to put away in one's memory.

Real life was vicious. It tore at one's heart and shredded it into pieces. It would tear them to pieces. To skulk around. To cheat.

And besides, she wasn't that kind of person. Not the kind who stole another woman's husband. That was offensive to her self-worth. She was not pathetic.

This had to end. For her. For him. It had to end.

XX

Matthew stopped the car at a lay-by along the M6. He still had the wellies on from the farm. It made driving difficult. With a grunt, he pulled them off and reached over to the passenger floor to retrieve his own shoes. He opened his door and unlocked the front boot to shove the wellingtons inside.

He slammed it shut. His knuckles were white from being clenched into fists. He opened his palms. A rage flowed through him, targeted at himself.

Staring at the black top of his car, he slammed the open palm of his hand down on the metal, over and over. "You stupid man…" He muttered over and over, "you stupid fucker of a man."

He had left Mary just standing there. No explanation. No apology for his outburst.

It had just come over him with Lavinia's phone call. He had to get in the car. He had to help. So he left.

But that was not the only reason. If he truly looked inside himself, he knew the world had shifted.

He had to get away from Mary. From what they had just done. The kiss. From what it might have meant to her. …or to him. The physical reaction of his body to the touch of her lips upon his, the contact of her arms around his waist, the feel of her breasts against his chest. They had left him breathless, aroused.

The world spun out of control for that moment, and he… he loved it.

And then the guilt set in. The pounding, blood pounding guilt.

Matthew closed his eyes, sighed heavily and pulled out his mobile.

None of that was Mary's fault.

He texted her an explanation that Lavinia's father had been in a terrible car accident in Birmingham. That she could not get away immediately because of the school group and that he had to go see how extensive the injuries were. He was sorry he had to leave in such a rush.

Anything else, he believed, had to be said in private and in person. So he sent the text and started the engine and returned to the motorway to Birmingham.

He pulled in about forty-five minutes later to the hospital car lot. He hastened inside.

"My father in law has been a rather bad car accident…" Matthew approached the A & E department desk.

The woman looked up. "Name?"

"Reggie ….Reginald Swire."

She clicked some buttons. "Room 104. But you won't be allowed in just yet …Mr?

"Crawley." Matthew blinked rapidly. "Why? What's going on?"

"He's been taken for a CT because of the threat of traumatic brain injury. Are you next of kin?"

"Uh…" Matthew said. "No. My wife is…. but she's out with a school group and can't get away until a replacement teacher is located. It might be a few hours. She wanted me to check up on what happened."

Matthew had raced to Birmingham on the M6. It had not taken him long as the trip from Rugby was less than a hundred miles.

His agitation was rising. "I need to call her. Give her an update." He had the mobile in his hand.

The clerk pointed over to a woman in a uniform. "The police constable over there is in charge of the accident investigation.

Matthew nodded and walked over. "I'm Reggie Swire's son in law. Can you tell me what happened?"

The young woman opened up a small notebook. "We got a 999 call that there had been an accident on the motorway. When we arrived we found that a car swerved into the wrong lane and struck a BMW at high speed. It smashed the front and right side of the vehicle. It threw the driver through the windshield just as the air bag deployed. He was pinned."

Matthew's fingers tightened around his mouth and slid down his cheeks. "And you…you got him out in time?"

"With a great deal of effort we managed to remove him from the vehicle … but his injuries were extensive. We have the other driver in custody." She was very gentle, but Matthew knew she was not telling him the worst. That's what they were supposed to do.

"The doctors will be able to tell you more, sir." She put away her notebook. "If you need anything more from me, I'll be at the station."

"Thank you." Matthew let her go. He went back to the desk.

"Is there somewhere I can wait?"

"Yes. Go through that door and turn left. There's a waiting area."

But even she was giving Matthew that sympathetic look that meant only one thing.

He followed her directions. To sit in the visiting area. To wait for the inevitable.

XX

Sybil reached for the wine bottle. It was late on Saturday night and Mary had arrived home about an hour earlier. She had finished her shift at the hospital and the two were enjoying some sister time. Sybil was staying with Mary for a few weeks while she finished up a rotation in trauma surgery. Living in the cramped walk up with three other flat mates had not worked out as she had hoped.

Henry was still out.

Mary had divulged to Sybil the purchase of the horse.

"Mary." Sybil squealed in delight. "You're getting back into riding. That's fantastic. What brought this on? I've been at you for years to do this?"

Mary's mouth played with a smile. "Just some things came around…"

"Oh no no no…" Sybil gulped down her sip of wine. "I know you too well Mary. What are you hiding? That kind of evasion just won't do… You're positively glowing…"

"I've formed my own company. Downton Stables. I'm going into business training young riders and I'm going to try to give competition a chance again."

"And Papa agreed to this?" Sybil's lips pursed in skepticism.

"Well I've not actually told him everything yet. I have to tell him I'm going to take a leave of absence to set it all up. He's allowed me full use of the stables ever since I had Diamond at the Trials so I just need to get the builders in to modernize some things and spruce up the paddocks and livery yard."

Sybil looked even more unconvinced. "He relies on you. He won't want you to go."

"He'll have to." Mary shrugged.

"And you just somehow found stacks of cash laying somewhere around?"

Mary side eyed her sister. "We're not exactly poor…"

"No. But as our father likes to remind us we're house, business, and land rich but suffer the fate of most outdated aristocrats with regards to actual money in the bank. Isn't that why you went to work in the first place for Grantham Inc."

Mary agreed reluctantly. "You're right. I found an investor. One who wants to remain anonymous and in the background, allowing me to take charge as I see fit."

Sybil pounced on the vagueness of that reply. "But that's not all sister. Spill." And she gave Mary the dead on stare of the relentless inquisitor she was. "Anytime you're ready…"

Mary heaved a sigh. She knew when she was defeated. "It's Matthew Crawley. He's my investor."

Sybil's eyes widened. "Tom's business partner? The one from the party with the same last name? The one with the dreamy blue eyes and chin stubble?"

Mary raised her eyebrow.

"The one who's married?" Sybil gasped out as she remembered. "And you're in a relationship with him?"

"No." Mary declared abruptly. "It's just business."

"Then why are you smiling like that?"

"I'm not anything. You are like a bull terrier Sybil." Mary tried to deflect.

"Mary I know you…what's going on?" Sybil's voice was beginning to strain. The curiosity was killing her.

"He went with me today." Mary relented. "To see the horse. We rode around the stable yard. It was fun. Then he had to go because his father in law was in a car accident." Mary's voice turned somber. "I was hoping he'd text me to tell me if he's going to be okay."

"And that's all?" Her sister's face told her there was more.

"We kissed." Mary's voice lowered to a near whisper. The memory made her face flush. "It was wrong of course…I don't know why it happened…" His lips had been so close to hers. Bewitching and impish, he had pulled her close. Or did she pull him…?

"It's simple chemistry Mary. The two of you were excited. The sympathetic nervous system quickens your pulse. Your frontal lobe lowers your inhibitions. It's science. You just needed to kiss him. It just happened. Impulsive and compulsive." Sybil was so matter of fact. "Are you going to see him again? Does Edith know?"

"No. I'm already regretting telling you. Don't tell anyone about this. It happened. It's over." She waved a dismissive hand and sipped her wine. "I don't throw myself at married men. It's vulgar."

Mary's dry response so typical of her sister, Sybil thought.

"But you will have to see him again? You did bring him in as an investor."

Mary looked on ruefully. "He offered." She corrected Sybil. "And that's where it will end. We got caught up in the moment, but we're both practical adults with separate lives to lead. I don't have time for any nonsense."

Mary pulled it together and sat up. "I'm going to change the subject now. Do you want to see pictures of my new horse?"

"Absolutely!" Sybil pulled her chair closer.

The two were poring over Mary's iPhone pictures and did not hear the front door open.

"Hello ladies." Henry's voice reached across the room.

Mary turned, startled. Had she mentioned Matthew's name in the time since he entered? She didn't think so.

"Is this your new ride?" Henry asked.

Mary tried not to conjure up other connotations of that expression as she coolly responded, "Yes. Jellybean."

Henry hooted in laughter. "Well I bet you're going to change that name, eh? That doesn't sound like you at all!"

Mary snapped back without thinking. "I think it's adorable."

Henry gave her cheek a kiss. "Whatever you say. I'm going to grab a beer and then head to the shower." He threw his bag into a corner and walked into the kitchen.

Sybil gave her sister a knowing look. "Did Matthew call the name that?"

Mary's cold shoulder was all the answer Sybil needed.

XX

"You were insatiable last night." Henry reached over towards Mary. "I have a long day today, but I hope we can continue this later." His hot breath was on her shoulder. He was kissing it.

Mary purred back "I can't wait," but she wriggled away from his touch. She had demanded sex from him late last night. Sybil had left to spend some time with Tom and Mary went upstairs, restless with a craving she could not explain, she had taken him with a heated intensity and ferocity that quelled her immediate sex drive, but still left her agitated for reasons she did not want to fully explore.

Henry got up from the mussed bedsheets. His naked arse was the last thing she saw as he ambled towards the shower. "Do you want to join me?" He leaned in the door frame, turning around.

Mary appraised him. He was a beautiful specimen. Tall, dark curly hair. A chiseled chest, and not an ounce of fat on his body. "I can't." She wanted to sound regretful. "I'm afraid I've got to catch the morning train to Downton Village. It's the monthly family dinner. And I have to break the news to Papa that I'm taking a leave of absence. It's going to be a nightmare. You're lucky you don't have to be there." Henry had to go out to Oulten Park today for some races.

"I can make some changes, if you want me too." Henry's face poked around the door frame of the bathroom.

"No." Mary questioned herself if that was said too quickly, but it was too late. "Go ahead with your own plans. There will be others."

Henry nodded agreeably and opened the shower stall door and stepped in.

Mary threw herself back against the pillow. Her thoughts wandering against her will-recalling a hot day, a lingering kiss, and the haunted look of another man's eyes.

XX

Neither of them had gotten much sleep. Lavinia had arrived in Birmingham in the evening. Matthew had been texting her updates on her father's condition, but he really didn't want to express the severity of the situation until her arrival. He met her at the train station and drove them both back to the Queen Elizabeth hospital.

"It's very grave, I'm afraid." Matthew's voice was as calm as he could make it. "He is the victim of blunt force trauma as his skull went through the windshield. The doctor's will know more." He rubbed her shoulder with his fingers.

She was shaking. "Can I see him?"

"I don't know." Matthew bit his lip. "I'll go and check."

And for the next twelve to fifteen hours they waited, dozed fitfully, and were periodically updated as the many surgeries and procedures done to help revive Reggie. He'd gone into V-tach more than once as the strain on his heart was too great from some of the other internal injuries sustained in the accident, and had a massive contusion requiring immediate surgery.

Lavinia had been able to sit in her father's room while awaiting his preparation to the operating theatre. Matthew paced restlessly outside. He hated feeling so helpless.

The doctor came out. "We won't know much until he regains consciousness." He told them.

Lavinia took some hope. "So he will come out of this?"

The doctor's impassive face was impossible to read. "We will have to wait. I'd recommend going and freshen up."

"I want to be here." She insisted, grasping Matthew's hand as he moved to stand by her side.

"It will still be several hours. I will keep you informed as to his progress."

"Thank you Dr. Connelly." Matthew shook his hand. He guided his wife towards the door. "Let's go grab some breakfast."

"I want to come back right after." Lavinia said, despite barely being able to walk without Matthew's support.

"Of course we will." Matthew said, "but not before you get some food, a shower, and a sleep. I've booked a hotel room down the road."

"Do you have to go?" Lavinia asked. "Get back before Monday? I've seen you on your mobile when you thought I wasn't looking. I'm not mad, Matthew. I know you have to work."

Matthew looked sheepish. He had been working on an investment portfolio idea and needed to look at some updated stock shares on the LSE website. It had also been something to keep his mind occupied.

And that he needed more than anything. He could cut himself off from anything when he worked. He was absorbed in it. Blocking out the world. He knew Lavinia resented it. It was yet another part of him that she could not share.

He didn't know he liked sharing himself. He thought of himself as a loner. Through university and his legal pupillage, he was compulsively on his own. Driven to succeed he worked best by himself. Anything else was an unnecessary distraction. Occasionally taking time to drink with his friends or indulge in a casual relationship with another law clerk were exceptions to his rule.

He let nothing stand in his way. Even as success and money came his way, the work ethic remained. His only allowance the doodle pad he kept close at hand. But even that was a solitary activity.

He didn't like sharing parts of himself. That had been his identity for as long as he could remember.

Then he met Mary.

And now he no longer knew himself.

Matthew aggressively pushed aside that thought. "I don't have to go anywhere. I'll be right here. I've got to call Tom and let him know. …."

But Dr. Connelly had sent an intern to fetch them back into the room before they could even leave the hospital.

Her father's heart was weakening. He could not take much more. Maybe Lavinia wanted to say a few words while she still could…

"Can he hear me?" Her voice trembling, moving the seat closer to her father's bed. The doctor gently said, "We don't know. But talk to him anyway."

Matthew standing behind her, gripping the back of the chair. His eyes darted to the monitors that showed Reggie's fluctuating cardiac rhythms. They had been turned off so the noise in the room was minimal. He remembered much the same when his own father passed away some fifteen years previous. The room had been damp, cold, and unnervingly quiet.

The line measuring his heart rhythms suddenly stopped making its regular pattern. The nurses and attending doctors swarmed over the bed. Matthew gently moved Lavinia aside. They worked on him to resuscitate. The line on the monitor kept getting progressively weaker and weaker. The peaks lower to nonexistent.

Matthew heard the word "Asystole…" and Lavinia started to weep. Matthew gathered her up in his arms.

XX

Matthew sat in the solicitor's office impatiently. He needed to get on with a scheduled list of meeting and this call from Reggie's lawyer was completely unexpected. The funeral had been a few days ago and Lavinia was only now getting back to work, saying she was fine and the kids needed her. Matthew had asked if she was needed at this meeting, and Mr. Charkham had said no need.

The door finally opened and Charkham motioned Matthew inside.

"I'll get right to the point Mr. Crawley. It's about the will."

"Is there some kind of problem…" Matthew's legal training had been initially in wills and conveyancing.

"No. Swire's wishes are quite straightforward. But of course the details will take time to iron out. It's that reason I'm bringing you in now." He shuffled some papers on his desk.

"Shouldn't Lavinia or any extended family be present?" Matthew questioned.

"I will bring her up to speed. Her portion of the will is cut and dried. She will continue to receive the portions of the trust fund dividends. The rest of her inheritance is tied up with various solid stock investments. She wanted it that way." He looked directly at Matthew. "What we're discussing is completely separate and has to do with you alone."

Matthew nodded slowly, afraid that he already knew what was coming. Lavinia's arrangement with her father's company was minimal, she had wanted no part of it claiming if she got control over it she'd just shut it down and give all the money away to charity. They had argued about that. Matthew claiming that was a ridiculous notion and that it would put many people out of work and upend the securities and shares of stock in companies all over the world.

He never knew if she was really serious as they dropped the subject immediately after.

"Mr. Crawley." Charkham intoned, "you are Mr. Swire's sole beneficiary regarding the shares of stock in Swire Inc. As majority shareholder, you will take over chairmanship left by Reggie upon his death. I tell you this now, so that when the legalities are complete, you can ease yourself in to the management of the company with as minimal fuss as possible."

"What?" Matthew was dumbfounded. "I had no idea…"

"Reggie expected to live a long and healthy life. I advised that you should never have been allowed to leave in the first place, but he said you were young. You needed to spread your wings and that soon enough you'd return to the nest. That soon family loyalty would bring you around."

Matthew grimaced. That sounded a lot like Reggie Swire. He always believed he could get what he wanted when he wanted it. It was one of the reasons Matthew left Swire Inc. So that he could be on his own.

But now…now his future was once again entwined. His own arguments with Lavinia coming back to bite him. He held this responsibility now. Reggie had entrusted it to him.

Because of family loyalty…. To reward his fidelity. Matthew slumped in his seat. Oh God…

XX

 _This is me doing the Reggie plot in a modern setting... we'll see how it goes. Reviews, opinions always always welcome! Thanks to Grey's Anatomy for the science of a kiss._


	8. Chapter 8: All the Baggage

_A few months have gone by..._

XX

"I have to go." Matthew was packing his shirts carefully inside the suitcase. "I have meetings in Copenhagen, Frankfurt, and Paris." He looked around for his shaving kit. He had said his good-byes to Lavinia that morning before she left for school. It was the beginning of the new term and she was to be in meetings all day. His mother had traveled from Manchester, arriving the night before.

Isobel frowned. "Don't you think it's still early to leave?"

Matthew darted a glance at his mother and then back to his task at hand. "I've put these meetings off for two months. I …I've got to go. I've already sent Tom to Dubai as I didn't want to be too far away. Now that he's back at the office it's my turn. This uncertainty surrounding Brexit is making our investors nervous. We need to assuage them in person. I've tried doing it over the phone, but they want to see me," he declaimed. "If I stay here to hold Lavinia's hand much longer, we might lose everything."

Then he shoved his hand through his hair and apologized. "I'm sorry Mother. I didn't mean for it to come out that way." He could not articulate how ineffectual he felt around Lavinia. How with every kind gesture, he wondered if it was an act of duplicity?

"Yes you did in point of fact." Isobel replied back. "But aren't you being overly dramatic? Your business is sound. And from what I understand you have more prospects than ever before."

His eyes turned icy, then tempered. He shoved the kit into the suitcase. "You don't understand. My business is going to survive only if I work at it. I won't lose it. I've worked too hard. We've worked too hard. I don't want anything handed to me. You're here. She loves you. It'll be fine."

"Matthew Reginald Crawley. I did not raise an inconsiderate son." His mother's rebuke was unmistakable. He sighed and turned to listen. His face taut, his lips pursed in a scowl.

"What is going on?" Isobel guided him to sit down on the bed. "Lavinia is back at work, but she is still grieving. You barely speak to her."

"That's not true." Matthew replied through clenched teeth. "We … I…" He finally closed his eyes and heaved a deep sigh. "She didn't tell me she knew her father left me Swire Inc. She should have told me."

"Why?" Isobel asked. "Are you afraid of taking up that responsibility?"

"No." Matthew's reply was quick. "You… you don't understand Mother. Reggie was so sure I'd be back. It's like he wanted me to fail. To crawl back to him."

"Or he knew you would succeed in everything you attempted and wanted that grit and expertise to lead his company into the future." Isobel rebutted crisply.

"I'm not sure I can do that." His answer barely audible, saying it half to himself.

"Nonsense." Isobel decried. "Matthew what ever has come over you? You are never this hesitant. This unsure."

Matthew responded, a hollowed out, dead tone to his voice. As if he was only half answering his mother. As if he was instead talking to himself. "I can't take his business and his money because I don't deserve it."

Isobel was at a loss. "What can you possibly mean by that? Is there something you're not telling me? About you or your marriage? Because it looks very much to me like you're running away from something."

His eyes remained hooded, haunted. Not looking at her.

He had no answer to give. Instead Matthew abruptly shook his head. "I don't have time to explain." He grabbed his bag and heading for the stairs. "I've got to get to the airport. My flight is in four hours and you know how security is these days."

He took his keys from the dish by the door and waved a good bye. "I'll call Lavinia when I arrive in Copenhagen." He closed the door.

Isobel stood motionless on the stairs. Her fingers gripped the railing. Matthew was the sweetest of children and the most honest of men. He wore his heart on his sleeve and every emotion on his face.

Matthew was not being inconsiderate, she realized. He was in pain. Something he believed he inflicted on another person.

And she could do nothing to help.

XX

Matthew threw his bag into the overhead bin. Sat down with a grunt. He was finally on the plane. He had to review the chartered surveys of the properties Fonnesbech A/S were interested in purchasing in London. He had to set price points and double check the exchange rates. Tom had texted links to his updates from Dubai and he had to assess his findings.

He had kept everything to do on the flight. To keep himself busy. His mind occupied.

As soon as he sat down, he realized it wouldn't be enough. Nothing would be enough. He had spent weeks immersed in work. It hadn't helped at all.

He tried being extra attentive to Lavinia except he felt a complete fraud. That he was compensating for betraying her. That he was being obvious in his attempts to comfort. He cheated on his wife. No one could tell him any different. The fact that the physical act had not occurred and thus technically no intercourse took place made no difference to him.

He wanted to help Lavinia through this. Despite his own severe reservations about Reggie's will, Matthew knew what it meant to lose a parent. And Lavinia's had now lost both. At first he walked around on eggshells around her. Completing all the paperwork with the coroner and the funeral home. Taking the phone calls from relatives. It had all happened so suddenly. Lavinia was in shock. She had told Matthew she'd help. And once the first few days were over, the two of them organized things with Reggie's distant cousin in Canterbury to gather the family together for the memorial service.

He had held her every night. She fell asleep in his arms. She felt his warmth. His love. She trusted him.

The rush of the plane's ascent forced his eardrums to swell. He squeezed his eyes shut. He almost welcomed the discomfort. She trusted him. And he … he had cheated on her.

Did Lavinia feel it? Did she know it? The growing distance between them.

He wanted to help. He did all the outward signs of it. When the new term started at her school, she was ready. But just in case he invited his mother to come visit and stay as long as she wanted. He had to leave on this trip to Europe. Despite all that's happened on the continent, and in their life, he had to keep working. It was the constant in his life. He had responsibilities to others.

But he was also using the trip as an escape. To sort out what he knew from what he imagined.

His mother didn't want him to go. He knew it. And it wasn't just because Paris was on a terror watch list.

She sensed something was wrong. She had accused him of running away. But she didn't know why.

He did.

Was he imagining the love he felt growing inside for Mary?

Or was it the excuse he used in his mind to justify cheating on his wife. That it was okay as long as you're in love with another woman.

He had been around men who conducted affairs on their wives. In his previous job as a solicitor in a big law firm he had heard others brag about their conquests. About sneaking around. About wives who snooped on mobiles and ugly divorces. It was never okay.

Of course attraction happens. He met and worked with gorgeous, intelligent women all the time in his line of work. Estate agents, brokers, and potential clients moved in and out of his life. He was, though admitting it might make him appear vain, also used to a certain amount of attention as well from the opposite sex. Without overtly seeking it, he had been propositioned for a drink, a cosy tête-à-tête at a private club, or even a week end in Rome once with a particularly keen investment adviser.

He would say he was flattered, but no. Let them down easy and without embarrassment. And he never regretted any of it. He didn't want to go. He wasn't attracted to any of them in that way.

It had never happened to him before.

Then why with Mary? Mary had shifted the ground under his feet. He wanted to be near her all the time. To hear her snarky off colour comments about guests at a party. To debate the merits of an Arabian versus an American Quarter Horse even though he had no clue what she referencing about head sizes and prominent withers.

Those things are ephemeral, he would say to himself. A passing fancy for someone who had led him into a life of things that were new and different. And would ultimately fade.

But it wasn't true. This was different. He had turned around one night at a business dinner he had not been looking forward to, and it had changed his life. She clicked with him. He clicked with her. Their eyes danced and strayed back to each other. Their kiss set off fireworks inside his body. Every nerve ending tingled and burned with an excitement he never got before with anyone else. As painful an admission as that was, he knew it to be true. He wanted more. To explore Mary's mind, her body, her being. He wanted to know everything about her and then start all over again.

Was he in love? Matthew sank deeper into the airline seat. Did it matter if she felt the same as well?

XX

Mary galloped Jellybean easily through her paces. She was compact and strong and with every day Mary realized she had found the perfect successor to Diamond. She clicked and eased up on the reins. Jellybean slowed her stride. Following Mary's commands and responding to her body movements.

Yes, Mary mused. She could work with this animal. Guiding her first around the livery yard to cool down, Mary led the horse back into the stall and dismounted. Taking off her helmet and unpinning her hair. Jellybean relaxed and whinnied. Mary reached out and loosened the cinch and removed the bridle. She replaced it with a halter and removed the saddle. She would clean all the tack in a few minutes but first she wanted to hose off the horse with cold water and remove the dirt and sweat. Once that was all done she put her out for a free turn in the inner paddock.

It was another scorcher of a day.

Mary loved this time alone with her new friend. The peace and quiet of the stable, the soft murmurings of the horse, the routine of grooming were all things she had missed.

She needed to hire a couple of stable hands immediately. That was first on the agenda of things to do now that she was officially in her mind on a leave of absence from Grantham Inc. Then getting builders in to make improvements and modernize the stables, getting her web site organized, finding new students…the list grew exponentially. In addition, she had to begun to consider her own prospects for returning to competition.

The thought shivered through her body. Her mouth perked into a smile. She was going to do this. The local York Riding Show was in two months. It would be a good test for her and Jellybean. And a good opportunity to meet and greet again with the local riding clubs and stables. Get to know new faces, say hello to old ones. Hear the surprise in their voice that Mary Crawley was back. Or the fear…. That made her smile wickedly proud.

She wanted to be back. Even if was going to take a while for her to get back into full competitive mode, she was ready for all of it. She had contacted a personal trainer to set up an exercise regime in muscle fitness and endurance. If this was going to work, she was going to have to go all out.

Her father had not been pleased to hear any of this news. Mary had put off telling him during that first family dinner after the day out with Matthew.

She had to do so by the next month as contractors and masons had already been hired to renovate the stables. Jellybean needed to be moved. She needed to get going if she was ever to get this venture off the ground.

And as predicted, he had ranted and raved and pouted. She was needed in London. The firm should be her first responsibility.

"I am my first responsibility," she had angrily countered. "Any one of two or three people at Grantham can do my job while I am away. I made a list for you and sent it as an email. Everything will be fine."

"But they won't be you…" Robert had tried to say.

Mary scoffed with a vengeance. "You mean you can't hold it over them that they are family and need to do just what you want because otherwise it's a stain against the Crawley name."

"That's unfair."

"Papa." Mary turned on him. "I've done everything you wanted for the past three years. I helped grow your company. I added to its reputation. But yet you still want more. I don't know why Grantham is floundering. I don't know why you saw fit to bring in consultants to help you find new ways to make money even though as far as I know the balance books should be in the black. But you did. And you made me feel like nothing more than a tool in a mechanic's box for you to use to get what you want."

Robert was taken completely aback. "I…I'm sorry if that was how it appeared. As Director of Public Relations, I thought you were the best person for that job."

"I am." Mary tried to calm down. "But you pushed me to do it your way. Over dinner and drinks. To use me as the attraction to join Grantham Inc. Do you have any idea how that looks? How it makes me feel? There are a thousand different ways to win over a client or hire an expert, but you chose that."

Her father looked appropriately chastened. "Is that why you want to leave? I'll do better in the future."

Mary replied, "It's just a leave of absence for now." She took a step closer to her father. "I want you to support me. I want to do this as well as I've done anything in my life. I want to give this new venture as much of myself as possible. You know how much riding has meant to me. Can you do that? For me?"

Her father pulled Mary in close for a deep hug. "Of course …of course."

But Mary also felt her father's fear. Something was wrong with the business. He was not willing to disclose what. Maybe he was too proud? She would give him some time to tell her himself before she pried into the matter. But nor could she go to Matthew to ask as that would be invading client privacy issues.

And she really didn't want to tell her father quite yet about her own relationship with Matthew.

Whatever that relationship was right now.

She had not seen or heard his voice since his last voicemail. The one telling her about Reggie Swire's death. He had clicked off, his voice dry and dull. Distant. Angry.

The only messages she got since were terse emails in response to her memorandums on upkeep and improvements made on Downton Stables. She said she wanted to keep him up to date. He agreed on all her decisions.

She had no idea where they stood. The ball was in his court completely. He was the married one after all. She had not forced him into any kiss. It was ridiculous he was angry with her. Takes two to tango, mister she had said to her laptop one late night when reading yet another of his monosyllabic answers.

Her neurological pathways had shifted…Sybil would dissect and explain. She was not in control of her emotions anymore and it was to be expected.

"Expected of someone in love," Mary bit back. And she wasn't. … In love… with Matthew Crawley. No, no she wasn't.

Sybil simply sniffed, her eyes slitted. "Is that why you're shagging Henry every hour of every day? It's like passive aggressive shagging. You are doing that for an entirely different reason."

Mary groaned noisily. "Oh Sybil, what is that? A psych rotation eval on me? I don't need it." And she shoved her chair away and started to clear off the dinner table.

Sybil didn't bother to respond. She knew she had it right. And so did Mary.

That had been the night before. They both traveled to York for the latest round of the Crawley family dines together.

Edith had been all aglow about her wedding. Mary was happy for her. She and Bertie were so very much obviously in love.

Wasn't that what it was supposed to look like? Not jangly nerves and jittery feelings in your stomach.

Not a pit of emptiness that he wasn't around.

Was that love? Was she in love with Matthew?

True she thought about him way too much. What he was doing? How was he coping? He was away in Europe and she worried.

It wasn't her place to worry, but she did.

She thought about him while riding Jellybean. About how he loved the horse's silly name. About how she loved teaching him how to trot around the livery yard. She had chalked that up to sharing her love of equestrianism with someone else. About getting ready to teach others.

But it was more than that. His face, so happy so content. His observing every little move of her body when he thought she wasn't noticing. The furtive glances. His lips open and full when he kissed her.

He had reached out and pulled her into him. Into his lips. In to the hot center of his desire.

He wanted her. She knew that as much as she knew anything. His tongue danced inside her mouth. He had wanted to feel everything about her.

She was not wrong about that.

But what were they to do? Life had dealt them another hand before they found each other.

Was it right to change that life? To rip apart the lives of others?

Was this attraction enough?

This love?

She should end it… before it got out of hand. Before it really ever began. Don't get involved with someone from business. It only complicated things. She needed him as an investor.

She didn't need him in her life.

Mary squared her shoulders. Adrift in those unsettling thoughts, she had lost the thread of the conversation with her father. He was continuing to talk about the needs of Grantham Inc.

"…I will support your scheme, Mary. Though God knows how you intend to fund it until it becomes profitable. To those ends, I think it best that we at least try to make friends with Matthew. I know it's not up to you anymore. I understand. I'll take matters in to my own hands." Robert said to Mary as her mind drifted back to what he was saying.

Mary was startled back to reality. "What do you mean?" Her voice chilly. "What have you done Papa?"

"I've invited him to dine with us next month when he gets back from this trip to Europe. I told him that we had gotten off on the wrong foot, and I really want his input and his ideas." Robert furrowed his eyebrows at Mary's sudden stiffness. "You don't like him, I know. Because of how I forced you two to meet. But we do need him. And I'm going to try to set aside my own reservations about his attitude to listen to him."

He looked hopefully at his daughter. "I'm asking you to do the same. Will you make the time? I think it will be good to have in the entire family. So it won't look like I'm ambushing him."

Mary's response was slow to come. Her father believed she disliked the new consultant. Who thought she'd only attend out of duty.

Indeed, Mary felt betrayed by her own body. A frisson of pleasure swept through her at the mention of his name. At the idea of seeing him again. She would have to disclose at some point that Matthew was far more than some nameless consultant. That he was her business partner. He was someone she trusted.

Someone she most probably, in the depths of the heart she claimed she did not possess, love.

"Yes Papa," Mary finally found her voice. Strong and clear she said, "I'll be there. You can count on me."

"Thank you Mary." Her father replied warmly. "I know how much of a sacrifice this will be for you. Maybe it will do us all some good."

Mary could only give the slightest nod of her head in response. She had the distinct feeling that after this dinner, not one of their lives would be quite the same.

That flash of insight into the future left her breathless. Scared. Excited.

Would she be ready for whatever was to come?

XX

 _A shorter than usual chapter. But I'm still setting stuff up in my own mind about how to take this story. Are they doing the right thing? I'm not going to make things easy on them. So I want all of your input and opinons please! You're all so great to like this story so much. Thanks!_


	9. Chapter 9: Confessions and Revelations

Edith stood in front of the triptych mirror. The sheer lace draped over one shoulder. "It will have embroidered flower motifs all along here." And she traced a line down towards her waist.

Mary looked on approvingly. "It will be perfect." Sybil replied. The both of them were in the bridesmaid's dresses Edith had chosen for them.

They all were to have tea at Claridge's and then look for jewelry along the High Street in Notting Hill.

A girl's day out.

"So who's next?" Edith asked facetiously. "Down the aisle?" She stepped down off the dais.

"So not me!" Sybil pulled her dress off the shoulder and down below her waist. "Got too much life to live first."

"You can live it together." Edith replied with considerable enthusiasm. "It's so much fun to have someone. Bertie and I go everywhere. We've been to the Seychelles for zip lining. To Washington where we met President Obama."

"Along with a thousand other people at the Correspondent's Dinner." Sybil joked back. "It's also fun to just have someone right now." Sybil stepped out of the dress and gave it to the woman attending them at the dress shop.

"Is Tom just for now?" Mary asked with a mocking side eye. "Seems serious to me."

"Oh as if you're the one to give advice." Sybil shot back.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mary stepped away from the mirror to remove her gown.

"What has Henry asked you?" Sybil threw a direct look at her sister.

Mary paused. Hesitated.

Edith leaned in. "Wait? What?"

"He asked me to marry him." Mary answered to Edith's questioning face rather than turn to Sybil.

"And you put him off?" Edith asked unknowingly. "You've been living together for like a year. What's the problem?"

"I've been considering it." Mary wavered just a tad too long.

Sybil snorted. "In between shagging Henry like there's no tomorrow and sucking face with another guy who's supposed to be just a temp hire at Grantham."

"Whoa…whoa! Slow down." Edith blurted out. Turning first to Sybil. "You mean Matthew? She kissed Matthew?"

Sybil nodded with a smug grin. "Ask her about their joint investment. They're tight for sure."

Edith turned with astonishment to Mary. "The guy I looked up for you on the internet? I go away on one trip to cover the Rio Olympics and you fall for a married man?"

"I have not!" Mary insisted. "I am not in love with Matthew Crawley."

Sybil snorted again in derision.

"Stop doing that. It's very unladylike." Mary uttered in frustration.

But Sybil was relentless. "This is real life Mary. Stop what you're doing."

"What do you mean?" Mary's voice was unsteady.

"Toying with a man's affection is one of the worst things to do. It plays into all the stereotypes of women you deplore."

Mary could not deny the truth of Sybil's statement. "I'm not. Matthew knew what he was doing just as much as I did."

Sybil responded evenly. "I wasn't referring to Matthew. I meant Henry. Don't waste the time of someone you don't love."

Mary's eyes narrowed to slits, but she said nothing.

XX

"Penny for your thoughts." Lavinia tried to quip. The morning was so quiet. Isobel had returned to Manchester the day before.

Matthew idly played with the food on his plate.

"I've nothing to give…" He replied with a bit of humour, but ending up sounding more truthful than he meant to convey.

Matthew had so said so very little since his return from Frankfurt. The trip had exhausted him it seemed in more ways than one. Lavinia had a lot of time to think as Matthew traveled on the continent. Especially at night with an empty bed. She realized, with a pain that hurt more than she wanted to acknowledge, that the bed had already felt vacant beside her.

Even with Matthew present, he wasn't there. At first she was too much in her own grief to realize. And then weeks later, even as he held her close in his arms she sensed a distance. When they finally did make love, tender and sensitive to her needs, she felt a certain detachment. Not going through the motions necessarily, that would be unkind. And Matthew was never unkind. He took his time, gave her an ecstatic climax that left them both sweating and exhausted.

But it wasn't enough, she suddenly realized. Not for him. A cold shiver up and down her spine. Was it always like that? He had kissed her shoulder and left the bed to take a shower. By the time he returned, she feigned sleep.

Lavinia considered that as she sipped her coffee. Why had she done that? Why had that thought crossed her mind?

Matthew looked up at her at that moment. He could see pain behind her eyes. Or was it an accusation?

Or was he just imagining it?

She gave nothing away. When had Lavinia learned to hide her true feelings?

Matthew imperceptibly shook those thoughts from his head. He had too much to do today. He scooped some of the eggs into his mouth. "I'm going to see Baxdale this morning. Go over some of the details of the hand over. Then the dinner at Downton."

His eyes beetled back and forth as he tried to sound casual about that. The invitation had come while he was in Europe. Lavinia had declined to go with him, as she said it sounded more of a business dinner and she was being invited out of courtesy. Matthew was more than a little relieved as the dinner would be awkward enough. Besides his growing feelings for Mary, feelings he had yet to completely sort out, he was loathed to confront Robert about his findings of misappropriation of funds at Grantham Inc. They were of such a scale that to Matthew's mind it was impossible Robert was not complicit. The more he researched the worse it got.

Matthew did, however, believe Lavinia should accompany him to meet Baxdale at Swire Inc.

"And you still want me to come with you." Lavinia finished Matthew's last thought.

"As it's your father's lawyer and your father's company I think he would want you present." Matthew still was not clear in his head why Lavinia was so resistant.

"Matthew, he gave the company to you." Lavinia was tired of this discussion. They had it in one form or another since the meeting with Charkram.

He gripped the fork so it shook slightly in his fist. "He gave me control over his shares in Swire Inc. It does not necessarily mean he intended me to become CEO."

"That's semantics. It means he wants you to take control over the board. He knew you were the best man for the job. Dad knew I didn't have any interest in being chair. Why is this so difficult? I trust you to do what you think best."

She rubbed her hand against his arm. He looked up, slightly startled at her act of affection.

"You seem so ambiguous regarding this windfall. I didn't want Dad's shares. He confided in me a while ago about it."

Which confirmed Matthew's suspicions. "Then why wasn't I informed? Why keep it from me?"

"You make it sound like such a conspiracy. It was nothing of the sort. He wanted time to adjust you to the idea of returning to Swire." She gripped his forearm with more force as some tears formed. "But that didn't happen…."

Matthew's eyes turned soft. "I'm so sorry Lavinia. For being so selfish on this. Of course that's why."

"I understand. We've both been through it in these past few weeks."

Matthew nodded, but knew he didn't deserve her empathy.

"I have meetings with the Head today. I might be in for a promotion as well." Lavinia grinned as she changed the subject.

He lifted an eyebrow at that. "She's finally retiring?" He had to laugh at that fact. This had been something they had anticipated for about two years.

"Yes." Lavinia cracked one of the first smiles he had seen in a very long time. They both had known Mrs. Fischer needed to leave school years ago. That Lavinia was doing most of her work anyway and deserved the advancement.

"It's just that…." Lavinia gave him a searching look. "I hope that's all it is?"

"What do you mean?" Matthew tried not to show his heart was in his throat as she asked that.

"I don't want to be in the way, Matthew. A nuisance. Don't ever let me get in the way. I couldn't bear that."

"Why would you say that?" He could hardly breathe.

Her eyes unblinking in response. "Because I sense it's close to the truth."

Matthew's mouth opened to respond, but nothing came out. What was there to say?

"I'll be back late." He got up instead. He kissed her cheek. "Don't wait up." And he was gone.

Lavinia sat thoughtfully finishing up her cup of coffee. She then gathered herself together and made ready for her meeting with Mrs. Fischer.

Grief, she had discovered, had a way of making one stronger. She was ready for anything.

XX

Matthew pulled up onto the gravel drive. He had decided to drive at the last moment rather than take the train. He needed to collect some data on a jump drive in case Robert wanted to go over some facts and figures and by the time he finished loading it, it was too late to catch the train.

Even so, Matthew thought he made good time on the M1 up to York.

The door opened and a man stepped out. A rather grave faced, but friendly butler Matthew discovered.

"Mr. Matthew Crawley?" Carson asked.

Matthew walked across the gravel towards the massive oak and metal door. "I am."

The butler nodded. "You were expected, sir. But at 7:00pm."

Matthew glanced at his watch. 7:24. "Traffic," he offered with a lop sided smile.

He gave Matthew a grave look. Then cocked an eyebrow and said, "Such are the way of things now." And he guided the younger man into the house.

Downton Abbey was magnificent, Matthew realized. Managing to keep its period detail while moving effortlessly into the 21st century. The long road through the picturesque village and up and around the winding drive to the house had indicated the family had owned vast tracts of land in the previous centuries. The Grantham name appeared on store windows and on streets. The gate started about a mile from the house. The estate, though no longer as large as it was, still encompassed acres and acres of rivers, trees, and a bit of a remaining woodlands. The house had been built and rebuilt, but it still stood. The massive towered spires and chimneys giving the impression it intended to go on forever.

The house was very much like the family who inhabited it Matthew mused. They were all survivors.

But could it withstand yet another financial disaster? There were so very few of these old homes still with the original families.

Robert was worried. And Matthew knew full well that Lord Grantham had every right to be so.

Matthew entered the library after the recitation of his name.

They really do keep to the old ways, Matthew thought. Robert was not going to take his advice to retrench with any amount of ease.

But he was soon caught up in introductions to linger on those thoughts.

"Matthew do come in. You remember my wife, Lady Grantham."

"Matthew and I are old band groupie friends." And a dark haired woman stood up to take Matthew's outstretched hand in greeting.

"It was wonderful to find a kindred spirit." Matthew said easily.

"Papa surely is not." Said a more than familiar voice from behind his back. He twisted on his heels to see Mary. Their eyes flickered towards each other and then quickly away.

Robert grunted an approval. "Far too loud for my taste."

"You know Sybil." Mary tilted her head towards her younger sister.

Matthew smiled pleasantly. He liked her and wanted to get to know her better. Tom so seldom spoke of a young woman with as much passion as he did Sybil. He hoped they would make a go of it.

Sybil approached him. "Your wife couldn't make it?"

"No..." Matthew stammered. Why did he think Sybil had an ulterior motive by asking? "She had a big meeting at school and needed to prepare for an interview. She asked that I make her apologies."

Then the two sisters exchanged a glance Matthew did not understand. Mary sighed and met his eye. She shook her head imperceptibly and moved on, "This is my other sister Edith." She guided his look towards the window seat.

Edith got up and said, "I've heard so much about you I feel we've already met."

Matthew laughed nervously. These Crawley women were certainly going to keep him on his feet. "All good I trust?"

"That remains to be seen." Edith replied smoothly. "Sit next to me at dinner and we'll get more acquainted."

Mary was resigned to all her sisters giving Matthew the third degree. She told herself they were just looking after her. And maybe they were right to do so. She hated to admit how at sea she felt around him. She refused to believe she could fall for a man so easily.

A man so very wrong for her. She refused to be with a man who could control her emotions so easily. He manipulated her somehow. With his eyes and easy manner.

He must have done this before. With other women. He was lying when he told her otherwise. His guilty stares at the farm were a charade. To hide his duplicity. To make her play along.

It must be so.

They'd suss him out and then she'd be free of him. Somehow she'd find the funds to buy him out of her business and that would be that.

"I'd be delighted." Matthew responded to Edith's request.

"Come on then…we've waited long enough." Robert walked towards the dining room.

The meal went on with pleasant conversation. Mary said very little, especially to Matthew. Matthew was trying to keep up with Edith's questions about his education, his work, and his life goals.

"I can see why you're a journalist." He replied mischievously to Edith's observation that while Theresa May was a great choice as Prime Minster in wake of Brexit, the back room deals that brought the Foreign Minister into office would certainly undermine any confidence in the new government. "But in business we have to make sure our clients never notice any reason to question the long term stability of the British market."

"No matter what?" Sybil interrupted. "To the extend to cheating on them?"

Matthew nearly choked. What was she getting at? What did she know?

Mary heaved a sigh and said "Really Sybil. We have a guest to dinner. Please don't accuse him of anything untoward over the soufflé."

Robert grumbled an agreement. "We're never that unprincipled my dear. Just doing business."

Sybil let it go as she believed the point had been made. Matthew had gone white as a sheet.

Matthew recovered and smoothly changed the subject back towards Edith and her recent stay in South America.

The conversation flowed easily after until the time had come for the ladies to retire.

Matthew could hardly believe they still did such things. Until he realized it was done in order that he and Robert would remain behind.

This was the reason he had been invited after all.

Mary left, having exchanged barely a word with Matthew.

"Carson," Robert intoned, "We'll have the brandy." And he walked over to a table and carried a box back with him. Sat down across from Matthew.

"Cigar?" He opened the humidor. Matthew breathed in the aromatic Cohiba Habanos. He didn't really care for cigars, but it was part of the ways of doing business he had learned to tolerate.

"Thank you." And he also accepted the lighter and cutter. The cigar was of excellent quality. He drew the smoke into his mouth, then exhaled.

Carson poured two brandy snifters and retreated.

"So Matthew." Robert leaned forward. "About these findings you emailed me about."

Matthew hesitated to speak.

"We can talk more freely here than in the office. I … I would prefer it."

And Matthew caught just the edge of the despair in Robert's voice just then. So he started in with a mentally prepared statement on the current state of affairs at Grantham Inc. It was meant to be blunt but fair.

"Your assets are considerable. But they are stagnating at the moment. And your losses are considerable. Not necessarily from external forces but …" And here Matthew's jaw clenched in concern before continuing, "internal misappropriation and most certainly insider fraud."

"Those are quite the accusations." Robert replied. "But I thought you were hired only to give recommendations for future investments not to police my company." The edge of despair turning to ice Matthew noticed.

"I was." He replied smoothly. "But I've found that I cannot do the former without first investigating the latter. I'd make a poor advisor otherwise."

Robert grumbled an oath under his breath. "You're about to tell me that Jarvis is diverting funds to line his and his friends pocket. That they have fiddled the books to hide their activities all under my own nose."

Matthew realized he might just be playing the fall guy for Robert Crawley. That he'd be the one to give reason for Grantham to fire his own CFO so that his lordship could save face and blame the outsider. He pursed his lips in contempt.

"Well that's part of it…" Matthew tried to start again.

Robert pushed the brandy towards him. A satisfied look on his face. "You've done well. I'll take care of it from here."

"But that's not all," Matthew continued. "And you know it's not all." He could play this game as well. He pushed the decanter away.

"What are you saying?" Robert's voice cold.

Matthew sat up straighter. "If you strip the layers of the accounting, there are misappropriations of funds going back several years that have nothing to do with giving contractors favours or putting ghost employees on the books. This is more serious. And it's ruining your company."

Robert's look was angry and hooded. But Matthew continued. "Money is being taken out in the thousands of pounds. Some years it was only a few. But recently it was more. And while some of it was returned and hidden in the accounting, it's still obvious to anyone who looks. The recent skimming has not been paid back. It amounts to well over £140,000. Only someone very high up at Grantham could get away with that."

The two men faced off across the table.

"You are saying what exactly?" Robert asked through gritted teeth.

"I think you know very well." Matthew said with exacting calm.

He noticed Grantham's hand was shaking as he took the brandy to his lips.

Then Robert's face crumpled and his voice broke. "I know."

Matthew was relieved. He had dreaded some kind of confrontation with excuses and lies.

He waited for the older man to explain.

"I don't know how it go so out of hand." Robert blurted out. "I tried to put it back."

Matthew cast a dubious eye.

"I started a scheme with Harry Stoke to invest in some high risk leveraged oil ETF options."

"Risky is the word." Matthew replied dryly. "Harry Stoke, if you don't mind me saying, sounds like an inexperienced fool. So don't tell me, it failed."

Robert gulped the last of his drink. "Obviously."

Matthew waited again.

"I've made mistakes." Robert admitted. "But nothing I can't put to rights. Things just got out of hand for a while. Can I trust you Matthew? Man to man?"

Matthew's eyes grew wide. What kind of confession was he in store for? "Umm… sure."

"It's not what you think. I'm not siphoning money from the company for my own extravagant whims. It just got out of hand…" His voice barely a whisper. "A few years ago I had an a… a relationship with an employee at Downton, our Chief of Staff. She left after I ended it. But she was pregnant. Jane had a son." His eyes met Matthew's. "I have a son. I've been paying for his upkeep. And soon his schooling."

Matthew's throat was dry. He could hardly believe it. What was Robert saying. "How? How long?"

"Five years." Robert said. "I was handling it at first. Putting the money back as you said. But as his fees increased so did his needs. And then Downton's infrastructure was failing. Extensive dry rot and crumbling in the foundations." He laughed at the irony of that. "Rather like its owner."

"How did you think you'd get away with it?" Matthew had to ask.

Robert drew a short breath. "I don't know."

"Does…" Matthew stuttered. "Does Cora know? Or the family?"

"No." Robert replied reservedly. "And I'm not prepared to risk my marriage over it. I took you into my trust so you understand the predicament."

"I …understand?" Matthew asked cautiously. "For what?"

"So you can guide me into finding more secure investments in the future of course." Robert could not be more brutally honest.

Matthew started to speak but could not find the words. Was this his future? If he started some kind of tainted affair with Mary? The ruination of all their lives? The pittance of a few pounds a year in order to assuage his guilt over leaving her should the same circumstances arise? So he could go back and lie continuously to his wife for the rest of his life?

No…that was not the life he wanted.

"I can't do that Robert." Matthew finally retorted with more dynamism than he intended. "It's deplorable. You need to tell your wife of your indiscretion. Tell your family about this child. You need to somehow stop this embezzlement of your company's cash. Then and only then can you have any hope to keep your company solvent. You cannot continue to use it as your private bank …or to assuage your guilt through paying off your mistress while damaging every other part of your life."

"How dare you!" Robert spat out. "I told you this in confidence so you could see the situation clearly. I don't need you judging me or my decisions."

"Well they go hand in hand I'm afraid." Matthew snapped.

"Then we're done here." Robert stared across the table. "We no longer need your services."

Without another word Matthew pulled the chair away from the table and left the room. It was spinning. He had been completely blindsided by these revelations. They had been said by a desperate man.

He doubted Robert would ever want to see him again.

Matthew left without word to Carson or the rest of the family. He had hoped to get away without notice.

But May was outside.

Mary.

How was he to face her?

She walked towards him. He tried to pull himself together.

"Matthew," Mary's soft voice. The one that melted his soul. "I want to say how sorry I am for the death of Lavinia's father. It must be very hard on her."

Matthew pulled at his cheeks with his fingers. He didn't quite trust his voice yet. "Thank you." He managed to say. "She's pulling through."

"But there's something else?" Mary sensed. "Is it to do with what you had to tell Papa? I know that's why he brought you here."

"Your father and I didn't see eye to eye as predicted. I told him of my findings. That's all I can say to you at the moment. You… you must ask him. I can't say any more." Matthew wanted to be anywhere else than standing here knowing what he knew about her father's infidelity.

Knowing his own thoughts were much the same.

Who was he to judge another man's actions?

He had only his own to account for.

"I will." Mary responded evenly. "But do you have to rush off so soon? I know we… " She paused. Was she really having to ask him. "We have some things to talk about ourselves. I had hoped at the very least we could be friends." She wanted so much more. She wasn't sure she could deny it. She wanted to own him body and soul. But at the very least, she wanted him still in her life.

Matthew's wild expression bewildered Mary. As did the seeming finality of his response when it came.

He scoffed bitterly and said, "I don't think we will ever be friends." She was so close to him; he could feel her. Catch a whiff of her evocative perfume. Oh God he wanted her. "I must go." And he turned on his heels in the gravel drive and opened the door to the Porsche and got inside. He turned the car towards the gate and drove away.

Mary stood alone for a long time as the evening waned into night.

So was that to be the end?

XX


	10. Chapter 10: The Show

"Head up Maggie remember what we discussed." Mary's voice caught the student as she was looking down at the ground.

"The judges want you to be confident." Mary tilted her own head in demonstration. "And eyes straight out in front. Confidence."

"Yes Lady Mary." Maggie sat up in the saddle and eyes moved towards the next jump.

"Softly but firmly." Mary's words were clipped in time with the horse's movement.

Mary shaded her eyes with her hand. The day was perfect. And she hoped the weather would stay that way until Saturday. Downton Stables had their first competitions that day, taking part in the York Riding Show. Maggie Mason, traveling on the train from Rugby every week for her lessons, was to ride in the gymkhana preceding the showcase jumping where Mary was make her debut. Mary had a few younger students as well but none of them up to the quality that Maggie already showed at 13. Maggie was going to ride the other horse Mary recently acquired as a boarding horse, a bay named Mr. Banks.

The buzz had been surfacing of her return. A local website interviewed her referencing the failure to compete in London. Mary had finessed that impolite inquiry back to her love of horsemanship and her excitement in supporting the local community in her new business venture.

The stakes were not as high as any return to Olympic trials, but for Mary the York Riding Show was important. If Maggie performed well the chances were excellent that she would bring in other students. In addition to her teaching, Mary's own riding skills would be under scrutiny. She was going to put Jellybean through her paces in both the show jumping and the cross country individual events. Dressage needed more precise exercise, choreography, and rehearsal. She and Jellybean needed more time to get each other's rhythm before attempting that event.

She wanted to be at her best. The family was to be in attendance. The Ripon event gathered interest all over northern England. Sybil and Edith promised to hand out brochures and information broadsheets about Downton Stables and general talk up Mary's endeavour in the stands.

Mary had said little to her father since the dinner with Matthew. Both men had essentially retired to their corners after whatever melee took place in the dining room over cigars. She did not know what to make of it all. Something had happened to set Matthew off certainly. His footfalls had been heavy on the gravel drive as he walked up behind her so unexpectedly.

She had gone out for a bit of fresh air after the interrogatory dinner with her sisters. Both had set Mary's teeth on edge with their inquisitiveness about Matthew. She felt he was at a complete disadvantage in that he had no idea she had confided to her sisters about their shared kiss. Her heart had gone out to Matthew as a result.

He had been agitated. Not necessarily about anything to do with Mary directly, she sensed, but rather a result of the conversation with Robert. His exchange with her had not been illuminating. He drove off once again leaving her with more questions than answers. Matthew's last glance had looked painful, expressing a need neither could deny. She knew it because she felt the same.

A need neither could yet act on…

She knew she wanted him in her life. As soon as he made his appearance in the music room before dinner Mary felt again the frisson between them. She had missed him. Had remembered the pressure of his lips on hers once again.

Never had a single kiss meant so much for her. Forbidden for sure. Was that all it was? The illicit making it exciting, and therefore enhancing its appeal?

Her reasoning told her therefore the pull she felt towards him was false. She couldn't trust her feelings. And for that rationale she felt grateful. Mary realized this attraction could not have come at a worse time. Her attentions needed to be on her business. Matthew had left everything to her, truly being the silent partner he had promised. He had told her in emails he had every confidence in her decision making. She was in charge and it was thrilling.

Her father, as predicted, was lukewarm towards her company. But he left her to her own devices and allowed all the builders and carpenters on the estate to complete the remodeling of the barn and stables. She had the local equine authorities in to give her the go ahead and her website was up and running thanks to a startup local company she employed.

In fulfilling her goal to be a part of the local community, Mary chose Downton Village's Two Women and a Computer to complete her foray into social media. Jennie and Sasha persuaded her with a dazzling presentation of their web design skills. The two followed her around for several days taking photos and making short films which they later used to create a logo and background images. Mary gave them a sound bite history of Downton Abbey as well as her own achievements as an equestrian.

All in all, it was a good start. Costs had stretched to the limit of her initial budget, but she had not asked Matthew for any more money. As soon as she had more students and a presence in the local community, she'd be bringing in her own profits. She had not expected anything more in the first year than to break even, so she was pleased.

But it put that much more pressure on her performance at the York Riding Show. She had been away from London consistently for several weeks. Trying to get back on weekends to see Henry, their schedules as usual were opposite. He was not sure he could even make the horse show as his own racing teams were competing that week end.

Mary had to admit to being put out at his disinterest. Or was it just that his schedule was as busy as her own?

She found it easier to blame Henry.

Sybil had been right about that. Trying desperately to find again the spark in their relationship, she had instead found herself hollowed out.

It just wasn't the same.

How to get it back was the question. For it was obvious she had no future with Matthew. There was no way she would hang about waiting for him to make up his mind. And no way she would consider an affair.

Or would she?

As Maggie brushed down Jellybean and her new student Sarah took off Mr. Banks's saddle, Mary moved into her office, converted from the old steward's quarters. She turned on the computer to check some grain feed prices.

Would she?

Matthew invaded her thoughts even as she made every attempt to push them away. That day at the farm. His hands seizing her shoulders. His masculine fingers gripping and pulling her close. His face hesitating just for a beat before he went in for the kiss they had both wanted.

His eyes afterward. The guilt as he pushed her away as his mobile buzzed. But also the desire. His eyes spoke and betrayed him.

Matthew had wanted her. Wanted to make love to her. Grab her and take her to a hotel. Or even take her in the cramped space of his sports car.

Mary knew it from his kiss. Intense, needy, his tongue confidently pushed into her mouth exploring. She had felt light headed afterward.

No one had kissed her like that.

It could have been just the beginning.

And yet now it seemed also the end.

He barely looked at her during the dinner. Mary wondered if she asked him, would he go away with her? That thought had invaded her mind and wouldn't leave.

She knew it was stupid. Complicating her life.

Better she believed Matthew to be a complete rotter.

Better she forgot him.

But then the thoughts of his hands possessing all of her took hold again. Roaming. Owning. Controlling her in a way she had never let a man do before.

It was so wrong.

No! Mary practically screamed it inside her brain. It was over. Done and dusted and good riddance to bad rubbish. She aggressively pushed some papers aside on the desk.

She had a perfectly good relationship with Henry. As far as she knew he loved her. She could learn to love him back.

She'd be better. Treat him better. Try to love him better.

Accept his marriage proposal…

That stopped her.

He had brought it up just the night before. She had made a special trip to London to attend an awards show with Henry. His rally team had lost but it had been a fun evening.

They returned to the town house. Henry went upstairs first while she finished up some things in her email. Entering the bedroom, she noticed Henry with a small box in his hand. His head was pushed against the pillow. He sat up when she walked through the door.

She knew what it was. What it had to be.

"Henry," she had said ""Henry do we have to do this now?" She undressed and put on the nightshirt and yoga pants she wore to bed.

"Because people get married. It's the natural course of things." Henry opened the box. "Take a look."

The ring was lovely. "Why can't we just leave things as they are?" But she did take it from his hand.

"I was hoping you'd be so mad crazy about the ring you'd accept. The truth is I won't sleep until I know where we're headed." He gazed at her with his blue-green eyes.

Mary played with it in her hand. "The truth is I'm still not sure. Not sure we'll be good in the long term."

"Because you have to marry someone from your own set?" Henry smirked. "Someone of better stock?"

"You're being unfair. We're past that surely." Mary fiddled with the ring. "I have so many other things on my plate right now. The new business, the upcoming horse show. This is hard…."

"I'm going to make this as hard and as horrible as I can." He said suddenly.

She turned to face him. "Is that a challenge?"

He shrugged. "If that what it takes to get you off the fence about us."

She handed him back the ring. "I want more time. We are not in any hurry, are we?"

"Of course not." Henry gave in with a grunt. "We have all the time in the world. But it doesn't mean I'll give up asking you every opportunity. I might even show up with a licence one of these days just so you can't say no." He gave her a wink.

"You'd be surprised at how little I can be pushed…." Mary retorted lightly but with a note of fair warning.

"I know…I know darling." And he took the ring and put it back in the box. They retired to bed without making love. Mary wasn't sure if Henry was pouting about her delaying an answer yet again, but had to confess to herself she was relieved. Sybil's accusations of using Henry to release sexual frustration had got to her whether she acknowledged it or not.

She was sexually frustrated. And it had nothing to do with Henry. But the bald fact was, even as she was perhaps too much of a coward to admit, that she wished he was someone else.

XX

Mary's attention was taken away from these thoughts by Maggie knocking on the door.

"The Bean is all done." Maggie said as she poked her head around into the office. "I'm off to pop back home."

"Thank you Maggie." Mary said. "Is Sarah still outside?"

"No her mum came to fetch her."

"Are we ready for Saturday?" Mary asked. "Get a right good rest and eat well. Need all your stamina and strength."

"You can count on me." Maggie responded brightly. "Looking forward to it. I've moved up an age group and the competition is that much fiercer."

"You'll do just fine. Has Daisy altered the riding jacket?" Mary had given Maggie her old tailored competition jacket from when she was a teenager. It was of excellent quality. Mary had found it in an old trunk upstairs in the old dressing room en suite to her own bedroom.

"Perfect. I'll do you proud." Maggie smiled.

Mary nodded briskly. "Of course you will. And I will try to do the same as your instructor." Mary's eyes widened. "I saw that Rosemary Fletcher on the roster. She's the real deal."

Maggie made a face. "She's got nothing on you. You'll trod all over her."

And the two laughed. A rather nervous, but just happy to be in the mix laugh. Both could not wait until Saturday.

Mary finished up and drove Maggie to the rail station and then back to Downton.

Her mother was in the library. "Come in and join me for tea." She motioned to her daughter.

"Let me go upstairs to freshen up and change. I'll be back when Mrs. Patmore brings in the trays." Mary went to shower and put on some jeans, boots, and a clean open necked shirt.

"Delicious." Mary tucked into the cake as she sat down next to her mother. "I don't think I ate since this morning. Of course Geoff will hate that I'm eating a slice of cake. But it's a rare thing. I won't take a second." And she took a sip of her non sweetened tea.

"Geoff is the personal trainer?" Cora asked. "Is he in Downton Village?"

"No." Mary answered. "Ripon. I have to see him tomorrow actually."

"An extra session right before the competition?"

"He wants to make sure I'm following his regime of crunches and squats every morning and evening. Then we'll go for a run. I'm already feeling stronger. My stamina level over the long stretch of the cross country is key. I can't tire." Mary admitted. "I had kept up my yoga even when I quit competition, but I do need more cardiorespiratory workout for endurance."

She had set herself a mile run every morning to begin, maybe getting up eventually to three or five miles. As she told Geoff though, she'd much rather be having the horse beneath her gliding over the countryside at a clip rather than a slog around a track at a gymnasium. They had compromised on a run around the park in Ripon or along a path at Downton by the lake that was located at the heart of the estate.

"I should take up something like that." Cora said. "Cross fit maybe? The pilates is fun, but I'm not sure it's invigorating enough."

"Oh Mama, you're always looking for something to challenge you. I'm surprised Papa can keep up with you." Mary joked.

"He is getting rather chunky around the middle." Cora observed. "I keep telling him, but he doesn't listen."

"How is his health?" Mary asked more seriously. "He seems so unsettled recently. Quick to temper." She didn't want to disclose what she knew from Matthew about the misappropriation of funds.

Cora gave a long pause. "He's not being entirely forthcoming but there is something going on with Grantham. Why he was so put out by your leave of absence."

"I told him Jim was more than capable. Besides he hired Matthew to give him advice." Mary was tired of hearing her father project his own problems onto Mary's leaving.

"He fired him." Cora confided.

"What?" Mary was stunned.

"They had a real go at each other at the dinner a few weeks ago and Robert said he let him go. I thought you knew. You and Matthew seemed to know each other rather more than I realized."

Mary blinked rapidly. "How …?"

"It's the way you look at one another. When you think no one else was looking." Cora said. "Did he tell you what happened?"

Mary should have known she could hide nothing from her mother. She shook her head. "No. He just drove off without much of a word."

"Is there something there? You really need to be careful. He's married, right?" Cora tried to be diplomatic.

"He is." Mary replied evenly. "I …" she trailed off.

"What is it dearest?" Cora's tone turned concerned. "Men can sometimes lose their way in a long marriage. It doesn't mean he has fallen out of love with his wife." Her words made Mary shiver.

"You sound like you have experience with this."

Cora's eyes darkened but she was noncommittal. "Not directly. I liked Matthew though. Didn't think he was that kind of man. But then," and here her tone was cryptic, "you never know."

"I'm not sure what kind of man he is." Mary said honestly. "There is something I've not told Papa. Matthew has helped me financially with starting up the stables. He's co-owner of Jellybean. He encouraged me over a dinner to follow my dreams."

"Is there a conflict of interest there?" Cora inquired.

"Not really. He promised to be a silent partner with me and he has. His argy bargy with Papa was quite separate. Having to do with Grantham as you said. I don't feel comfortable telling you what he said in confidence. Has Papa talked with you?" Mary tried to draw her mother out.

Cora heaved a heavy sigh. "He says very little to me about Grantham. It's as if he's embarrassed he's not making as much profits as his forefathers."

"I know Papa is desperate for Grantham to expand, but he's too dependent on Jarvis. Matthew had some good ideas but I guess Papa didn't want to hear them." Mary hypothesized. "I'm well out of it. I just want to concentrate right now on Saturday."

Cora agreed. "Will we see Henry there? He's not come to dinner for months."

"Busy as usual." Mary said dryly. "He said he'd try to make it but I'm not hanging my hat on it."

"What about this proposal?" Cora tried to ask coyly.

Mary rolled her eyes. "Edith? Or Sybil?"

Cora smiled. "Sybil. She's got this bee in her bonnet that you are about to ruin your life by going after this married man and have your heart broken."

"As if it's any of her business." Mary sniffed.

"She just cares." Cora stressed her younger daughter's emotional tug to her elder sister.

"She doesn't have to worry. I don't have a heart remember." And Mary arched an eyebrow and refused to continue the conversation any further. "I must dash as I've got an appointment with the saddlery. They're coming out to the Stables bringing two new saddles for the tack room. So as you see, I've got quite enough on my plate." Mary made her move to get up and get on.

Cora let her daughter go, but did not believe for one moment there was nothing between Matthew and Mary. She saw the looks exchanged. The unspoken tension. It was both a painful reminder of events in her own past, and a clarion warning bell in her head about the potential heartbreak in store for everyone involved.

XX

The horse's hooves dug into the soft ground, sending up clumps of dirt and grass. Mary grunted as she cleared the fence. She had the first three under her belt. Jellybean was racing well. The stone wall obstacle was next.

Jellybean baulked. Reared slightly and gave a whinny.

Mary made soothing noises and pulled her around for another try. She cleared it and they moved on to the water ditch. The sweat beaded on her forehead. The speed was necessary if she was to make good time across the course. She had one penalty dropped fence at the bank obstacle but she was still good on her optimum time.

She heard nothing. The sound of the horse and her own sharp breaths making a vacuum of everything else. Mary leaned up in the saddle to take on the combination obstacle. Two fences very close together requiring tight precision and uniformity of rider and horse.

Mary encouraged Jellybean and she flew easily over the first, while taking down a pole for one penalty at the second. The powerful muscles of the thoroughbred making easy time down the embankment to the next series of jumps.

Mary's horsemanship was on display as she maneuvered the animal around the bend and easily over the next combination obstacle. She was in total control.

The finish line was ahead. She crossed in good time with only the two penalties.

It was the best she could hope for.

Walking the horse around the paddock to cool her off, Mary removed her helmet. The late autumn heat was still oppressive. The flexible body protector under her jacket was not making it easier to breathe.

It was only when she approached the sidelines that she noticed the surprised looks of her family. Edith and Sybil were shouting something.

Mary approached.

"Are you okay?" Sybil ran over. "We heard there was a spill on the course. A horse threw their rider into a ditch. They thought it might be you."

"Oh God." Mary paced the horse closer to her family. "I didn't see anything. You get so focused on what you're doing. It must be someone behind me on the course." She turned around in the saddle but could see no one else approaching the finish line.

"We're relieved it's not you." Robert said. As it was not a national competition, there were no television cameras out on the course. So they had to rely on the event judges and managers for information.

"We're fine." Mary dismounted, still walking Jellybean around. "I need to get her back to her stall. Cool her off."

"Let one of the others do that." Robert said.

"I'll meet up with you later." Mary demurred. "I want to see to her."

Robert gave a wave and said, "We'll be in the tea tent then."

Mary had been pleased with the day's competition. Maggie had finished first in her age group and won the gold medal. Sybil and Edith had reported an upsurge in interest in Mary's business after that occurred.

Mary checked the board to see that she finished fourth overall. Not a bad start for her very first outing. She had wanted to do better. But something to achieve next time.

The riding community had welcomed her back with open arms. Whether that was because they were glad to see her, or that she was still considered a light weight threat to them, Mary did not know. Nor care. Her goals were her own at the York Riding Show. And she had achieved as much as she wanted.

She was concerned, however about this downed rider.

"Who is it?" She asked Bill Smith, the head groomsman when she brought her horse into the badge only staging area of the horse show.

"Mel Bruce." Bill answered. "She's having to be taken away by ambulance." He bit his cheek in concern. "There might be permanent paralysis, but they're not sure yet. Let's hope for the best."

Mary's shoulders sank. That was a very real danger in her sport.

"I was out on the course as well when it happened." She led Jellybean into her stall.

"I know." Bill came over. "We all thought it was you. Glad to see it wasn't, given it's your first day back. You did well today."

"Thank you." Mary's voice was warm. "It's very good to be back." And it was. The smells, the sounds, the comradery of the riders, she had missed it.

It made her excited for more.

Mary was rubbing down Jellybean and giving her soothing nickering sounds when she felt the presence behind her.

She turned suddenly to see Matthew. His face white with concern.

"I…I just arrived when the announcement was made about the horse throwing the rider. They…" He swallowed thickly. "…they didn't know who it was."

"Matthew…" Mary's voice tight and low. "I didn't know you were here."

She had told him about the event in an email and left a badge for him as an owner of her horse, he was allowed into the staging areas of the horse trials and stalls. She stood little hope he'd take her up on the offer as he had been in virtual no contact in the weeks between the dinner and the horse show.

"I…" his eyes shifted back and forth nervously. "I only made up my mind at the last minute to come. I .." and he smiled suddenly, his face bright with delight. "I wanted to see you ride." His eyes roamed to take in the fact she was alive and whole. Her riding jacket was open, her breeches tight and a bit dirty from the softened ground on the course. "You were magnificent."

"You were watching?" Mary was cautious. "Did my family see you?'

"No…" He stumbled again. "No. I watched from a distance. And then I lost you around the bend at the embankment. That's when I became concerned when the announcement was made. I rushed back here but got lost trying to find Jellybean's stall."

"Why are you here? You said we couldn't be friends." Mary's voice was icy. She didn't want to play these games anymore.

He leaned in to whisper an answer. So that only she heard his words. "I don't want to be your friend Mary." His voice hoarse from emotion. "I love you too much to be just that."

Mary reached back to see his face. It was etched with torment. "You love me…" She was so close to him she could feel the dampness on his shirt from his exertions in locating her. He was sweaty and hot and so very near to her face.

The kiss was hard when it came. Hard on her lips. He took them with a desperate passion. She responded in complete abandon to the moment. They tugged and grasped at each other, barely coming up for air as the kiss deepened and lingered.

"What…" She pulled herself away from him with a great deal of effort. "What does this mean…"

But she didn't need an answer from his lips. He clasped her face with his hands, his thumbs gently stroking her cheeks as he moved in again. His eyes were dark, blue rings around dilated pupils.

Her hands moved to cover his own. She felt for his wedding band.

It was no longer on his left hand.

XX

tbc


	11. Chapter 11: The Decision

_Another viewpoint..._

XX

Matthew peered into the darkness. The rain splattered against the windshield. He put his hand up to wipe away some condensation.

Of course it was raining.

It only served to darken his mood further. The drive back to London from Downton had been horrible. The storm came up as soon as he hit the M1. Huge droplets pounded angry on top of the car. He considered pulling over to a layby to wait it out or even pull off the motorway and find a hotel for the night. But he wanted to get back to London. It was already too late to go home. It would have to be another night at his club. He had a packed gym bag with some clothes in the stowage space.

He needed to get home. To tell Lavinia. But it was so late. He couldn't wake her up just to confess his indiscretions. To seek atonement.

To tell her he was leaving her.

It was too cruel a thing to do at 4am in the morning.

And he had treated her cruelly enough. It was time for it to stop.

The decision had been made at the dinner with Robert. That fucked up dinner where he had been the unwitting and unwilling confidante to Robert's dirty secrets. He had been blindsided by it.

His business instincts were out of whack. He should have seen that as a possibility. That Robert was paying off some private reckless behavior. As if that was the answer.

Matthew rubbed his chin in anger.

Instead it only caused more problems. Hurt more lives. Left things unspoken.

He would not do that. Not to Lavinia.

So he kept going. Pulled into a space beside the University Club. Got a room and a shower. Set his mobile alarm for 7am and fell into a troubled slumber.

It went off at 6:40am instead. A call from Tom.

Matthew fumbled and answered the call.

"Tom?" His mouth felt dry as a bone.

"Matthew. Sorry to wake you so soon but you never answered my texts from last night. We've got a go on the Woolgate project. We take a meeting at 10am." Tom's Irish lilt was edged with nervous excitement.

Matthew's eyes opened wide at that. He swung his legs off the bed. "I had a late dinner last night and the rain was torrential on the M1. I haven't looked at any messages. I'll be right over."

"Should I call anyone else in? Mika was involved." Tom reminded him.

"Yes. Yes get her in. We all need to be ready." Matthew clicked off and finished dressing in the jeans and tee shirt. He had extra suits and shoes at the office. He'd change into something more appropriate if necessary.

He sighed. He just could not go home and leave immediately again. Whatever he had on hand at CB Properties would have to be enough.

This project had been on for the past year. In coordination with the developers and owners of Woolgate Commons, CB Properties had been in the running to get the rights to let all the office space of the newly built London skyscraper in the heart of the City of London.

It was the biggest coup for their small company that they beat out some major property developers. Mika Jones had been instrumental in using just that presumed drawback to their advantage. That in working more closely with the owners, they could get the right tenants at the right price. They'd give it their full attention rather shunt it off to a secondary unit of their corporate center. They were a young company but savvy to the modern needs of the City.

Tom had backed Mika as the lead on the project. And he was right. They had been considering making her a partner if the Woolgate succeeded.

There was much to discuss today. He needed to pull it together. He had always been the facts and figures expert in the company. He had to get to the spreadsheets and finalize the numbers to give to Edward Crabtree, the owner of Woolgate Commons.

Matthew grabbed his bag and threw it in the back seat and drove the few blocks to SW1. His head wasn't in this. He was still muddled from the events of the night before.

Of the decision he had made regarding his life and the future of his relationship with Mary. What arrogance, he suddenly though. As if his decision would have any direct bearing on her life. She had her life well in hand.

Perhaps he'd only ruin it.

Perhaps he'd ruin all their lives.

It was a crippling feeling. That accepting the truth of one's life would hurt the lives of others.

Matthew pulled into his space and turned off the key.

He just knew he had to do it.

Tom met him inside. "We're going over the last minute details of the presentation." He took in Matthew's casual clothes. "Did I catch you going to the gym?"

Matthew mumbled "Something like that. I'll change while you're still setting up. Are they coming here or are we going to them?"

"Crabtree is sending over a team of people. They'll want us to go with them to the site after." Tom opened the door to their office space.

"Really excellent work Tom." Matthew praised his partner. "This could be the breakthrough we've been seeking. To get into those City markets." He turned to face Tom. "I mean it. You and Mika have outdone yourselves."

"It was your idea to begin with." Tom reminded him. "Part of your plan to expand CB while keeping our independence."

Matthew frowned suddenly. "Something I need to talk to you about…"

Tom arched an eye brow. "The potential of a merger with Swire Inc because of your new position? I wondered when you were going to bring that up."

Matthew paled. Yet more fallout. Tom's future, Mika's…his entire company's future in his hands.

"I've not made any decisions yet. Especially not regarding any kind of merger. We need to talk that out." He eased Tom's mind on that fear. "But not right now. Let's not do or say anything that will interfere or complicate this deal. We've waited too long. I promise that my decision regarding Swire Inc will not counteract any agreement we make today."

Tom was relieved. "Aye. One thing at a time. I'll see you in the conference room." Tom took a right turn down the hall as Matthew unlocked his own private small room with en suite bathroom. He pulled a suit out of the closet and found a matching pair of brogues. He shaved first and then donned the crisp white shirt. The textured silk Armani tie finished the look Matthew wanted to present. He combed and slicked his hair back in front of the bathroom mirror.

The ritual of dressing giving him time to transition his thoughts solely towards the business deal at hand.

First impressions with Crabtree had meant CB Properties had a chance with this deal. Matthew had got on well with the terse spoken man. He said what he meant and meant what he said, Matthew remembered the older man saying. Talk straight to him, he'll talk straight back.

And Matthew had.

Now it was all coming to fruition. He had to get his head in the game to finalize the deal. Tom and Mika's work would not be put at risk because he was in dumps about his private life.

He shut the door and made his way to the conference room. This could be the beginning for them all.

XX

"Mika you nailed it in there." Matthew congratulated the stylish young woman they had hired two years ago. "I want you to take the lead in the tour of Woolgate with the Crabtree folks."

"Thank you Matthew." Mika did not want to let on any nervousness in front of her boss, so she faked cool confidence. "It's well in hand. I'll have the marketing packages available to give the representatives from Crabtree once you're finished uploading the numbers."

"I've got Cyn on it right now." Matthew said, turning into his office. "We'll have them before you go."

He pulled his tie loose and got down to work on the excel sheets.

Within a couple hours he had the leasing numbers ready to include in the package. He handed off the details to his assistant Cyn Rogers. Tom and Mika would walk around the space with the iPads handy with the figures in case anyone at Crabtree wanted details.

Matthew decided he would cut out and go home. Edward Crabtree wanted a private session and tour with Matthew the following Wednesday, so Matthew was not needed today.

He had no real idea how to bring up what he had to say. The bald truth being his only recourse.

Matthew pulled into the space reserved for his car next to Fulham Green. Lavinia was home as her Rover crossover was in the small drive next to their house.

He bit his lip.

Was he sure about what he was to do?

He looked at his left hand. This was not how he intended to play out his marriage. They had such a rough patch just the previous year as he worked all hours and they had barely seen each other.

He had promised to do better. And he had. He had found a balance between work and private life as he allowed Tom and then Mika to take on some of the business that he had insisted upon doing himself in previous years.

All three balanced each other's talents and it meant even more success for CB Properties.

And then he met Mary and his life changed. He had not meant for it to happen.

But it had. And there was no getting around it.

He was smitten. In love head over heels with Mary. Every time he looked at her he knew it. His body was no longer his own.

It belonged to her.

And that meant only one thing.

He had to come clean to Lavinia and ask for a divorce. It was the only honourable thing to do.

How fatuous was that? He would sound a right prig saying that. His head bent against the steering wheel.

He was about the face the worst part of himself.

Better to get on with it. He lost his grip on the car door as he opened it. His hand was shaking. He closed it behind him and walked the path to his front door. It suddenly occurred to him that he'd never stay another night in this house again.

XX

It was preternaturally quiet in the house. No music, Matthew realized. Lavinia usually worked with her playlist on. She always preferred instrumental pieces when she graded.

"Did you just get home?" He asked throwing his keys in the bowl.

"I finished up a meeting about half an hour ago and picked up some shopping." Lavinia's voice drifted in from the kitchen.

Matthew walked in to see her stirring a pot of pasta on the Aga.

"I wasn't expecting you back so soon. Your text said meetings all day." She turned to see Matthew take a seat at the window facing table. He was pale. "Are feeling well?"

"Can we talk?" Matthew pulled a chair out for her. "Sit down."

And suddenly Lavinia knew what about to come.

Lavinia put the pasta in a strainer and walked over to the window. Matthew was thrumming his fingernails on the table.

They looked at each other a long time.

"Matthew what is it? Please just say it." Lavinia sat opposite her husband. "Say what you need to say."

He cleared his throat and met her pained eyes. "I want a divorce Lavinia. I don't think we should be married anymore."

Lavinia had thought in her younger years that if she was ever to be discarded in love, the floor would open and swallow her up.

Or more recently that she'd go on a murderous tear and rip out the leather seats of his precious Porsche.

Instead she felt neither rage nor fury.

She felt numb. "Why?"

Matthew's fingered thrummed harder on the surface. She had every right to ask. "I can no longer honour the vows we made."

"Because?" Her voice ice cold.

His lips pursed while his eyes closed. But he opened them again because Lavinia deserved to be looked in eyes. "I am in love with someone else." He said it with as steady a voice as he could manage.

Lavinia wouldn't give him the satisfaction of being surprised. "The woman in your drawing? Mary Crawley?"

Matthew's eyelids blinked rapidly. "Yes."

"How long has this gone on?"

"I didn't want to tell you before. It's not what you might be thinking Lavinia. I'm not having an affair…"

"Well that is good." Lavinia's sarcasm was biting.

Matthew deserved that. Twat that he was. "I met Mary at that business dinner for Grantham LTD about four months ago."

"Before Dad died, yes. I know. The night you never came home and the next day the picture was in your book." Lavinia knew even then that drawing meant more to Matthew than he let on. Tears threatened to roll down her cheeks. She willed them away.

"I had hoped I was wrong. That it was a passing fancy." Lavinia shrugged. It really wasn't in her husband's nature to be casual about women, so she knew this passion was otherwise.

"It...it was never my intention to hurt you." Matthew's voice quavered as he answered.

"But you did." Lavinia answered baldly. "And here I was thinking I'd lose you to work as your mistress." Because he would not humiliate her with an adulterous affair. That was not Matthew. This meant only one thing to Lavinia. That Matthew was truly in love.

"Don't do that…" Matthew was floundering.

"Do what…?" Lavinia snapped.

"Pain yourself by making me say things that will only hurt you."

"The truth should never hurt." She replied barely above a whisper. "Did you ever love me?"

Matthew shrunk into the chair. His cheeks flamed in shame. "Of course I did. I do. I do love you."

"Just not enough. I love you very, very much, and I wanted to marry you from the first moment I saw you. I should have known better. You did not love me as much."

Matthew could not deny the truth of that statement. They both knew he was not as passionately in love at the time of their marriage. "I wanted too…" He struggled to put words to explain.

"But you wanted to know my father as well." Maybe the voice in the back of her head at the time was right, Lavinia thought. That Matthew did cold bloodedly court her for what he could win as a result of an alliance with her family.

"That's not the way it was." Matthew protested. "I think you know me better than that. I never manipulated you into anything. We get on very well."

"So the last four years have been a waste?" Lavinia struggled to speak. She was so angry that she was just supposed to take this without a fight. She didn't know what she was fighting for though, as it was clear Matthew had made up his mind. "I know we wanted different things. You had ambitions I did not share. It's not in me to be Queen of the County."

"It's not been a waste." Matthew was spluttering now. "I can't accept that. We've had a good marriage. I don't want to ruin it."

"But you are." She spat back. "Have you had sex yet? With her?"

"No." His voice shattered.

Lavinia glared at him.

"We kissed." He admitted. "Nothing more."

"When?" Her steely gaze was unnerving. Matthew knew that look required the absolute truth from him.

"Why do you want to do this?"

"When?" She asked again.

"The day of your outing to Derbyshire. I went to see a horse with Mary in Warwickshire. I'm… I'm helping her start a business." He had nothing to lose now. All cards on the table. "I did not go into it expecting to have happen what happened. But it did. I kissed her."

Lavinia absorbed that information. "The day of my Dad's car accident? Is that why you arrived at the hospital so quickly? It never occurred to me ask before."

Matthew groaned inwardly. "Yes. I was less than fifty miles away. As soon as I got your call I left to see him."

"You were very good that day. I don't know what I'd have done without you." Lavinia reached for his hand. It was clammy. She suddenly no longer wanted to argue with him.

Matthew leaned forward. "I wanted to help. I'm so very sorry about what's happened. I never meant to hurt you. And yet here I am, in the middle of your grief, injuring you again."

"Is that why you've been so reluctant to take the inheritance?" Everything was falling into place.

"I don't want to live a lie. I felt it would only get worse if I did not say anything."

"So we just end things?" She was shaking now.

"I don't see any other way." He gripped her fingers.

"Does she feel the same?" Lavinia gazed into his troubled eyes. Eyes she used to think belonged only to her.

They darkened. "I don't know." His jaw tightened. "I think so. But it's not fair to you to stay when my feelings have altered. You deserve better."

Lavinia sat back in the chair. "Where will you stay now?" Her decision made. "I want to stay here."

"Of course. I can sort something. In the office listings. I'll collect a few things. Come back for the rest later." Matthew dolefully responded.

It was done.

"Will we sell?" Lavinia enquired. "I don't want to be here when you come back for your stuff. It will be too hard. I'm going to be at a teacher conference in London in a fortnight. Come then."

Matthew agreed. "I think you need to consult a lawyer. I don't want to tell you anything about the house. It's your decision. I will sign the lease over to you."

Lavinia cleared her throat and wiped away the tears that formed at the sides of her eyes. "I see. I know there's a lot more to discuss. I don't understand how this will affect Dad's will or your shares but I can't do anything right now. I've still got marking to do that must be done by tomorrow. It will be all I can do to get that done. Will you please go."

Matthew withdrew his hand. She released it from her grip.

"I will." Matthew stood up. She obviously wanted him not to be anywhere near her. "I'll be just a few minutes."

She nodded without looking at him. Matthew left the kitchen and walked upstairs to the bedroom where he threw some personal toilet items and clothes into a leather traveling bag. He had no idea really what to take. How do you remove yourself from a life?

He gave up and pulled the bag over his shoulder and walked back down the stairs.

"I'm off now." He blurted out, unable to think of anything to say.

Lavinia appeared silhouetted in the door of the kitchen.

They gave each other one last look and Matthew was gone.

So that's the way a marriage ends… Matthew thought. He shoved the bag into the passenger seat and got back into the driver's side. She could still take him to the cleaners in any divorce settlement. He'd have to arrange with his lawyer Michael Raskin to find someone specializing in divorce. A divorce petition and decree nisi were the next steps. After they sit down to iron out a settlement then they would proceed with an undefended divorce as neither he nor Lavinia would fight the petition.

The grounds would most probably be unreasonable behavior. Lavinia could no longer live with him as a result of his confessions. Lavinia's lawyer might try for adultery. Especially given that they've already separated and Matthew has admitted to having feelings for another woman. Admitted to a kiss. It was fairly obvious that more was desired.

A woman he could not resist.

A woman he did not want to resist.

Matthew threw the car into reverse and maneuvered down the street. He needed to get back to the office to search the listings for a small flat closer in to the office. Tom was to meet him at the Red Lion pub at the corner for a meal.

He needed to tell Tom because it would affect their business future. Even though Lavinia had put off any discussion about Matthew's inheritance, he knew what he had to do.

Rummaging through the listings he found a furnished two story walk up near St. James he could wangle a short term lease on as it was empty pending sale. Calling up the leasing agent, he did the deal and drove over to get the key and throw his bag inside. He needed to shop for some things but all that could be done later. The agent promised to set up the electrics and internet for him so it would all be done by time he returned later in the evening.

He started to telephone his mother. But he put it off for another time. He felt awful as it was. Hearing her disappointment would be too much. He'd just have to gather his thoughts to show her he made the right decision.

Matthew met his business partner at 7pm who had already ordered two pints for both of them.

"Thanks." Matthew took a long pull. "I needed that more than you know."

"Are you finally going to tell me what's up?" Tom asked. "You've been walking around in a fog all day."

It would be the first time he would say it. "I'm getting a divorce. I've left Lavinia." Matthew said it with the finality it deserved. There was no going back now.

Tom sat in stunned silence until the penny dropped. "You left Lavinia for Mary didn't you? Sybil told me about your interest in Mary's new stable. She doesn't really trust you by the way."

Matthew arched his eyebrow. "I gathered that from the interrogation I got while at dinner at Downton last night. She suspects I'm leading her sister astray?" He snorted. "I doubt either of those women could be so led."

Tom knew the truth of that. "To the Crawley women." And he lifted his pint.

Matthew drank to that.

"On a more serious note," Tom leaned on the table. "Are you sure of what you're doing? You and Lavinia have had troubles before and got past it."

"It wasn't the same thing." Matthew answered. "It was about me working too hard, not being around enough. It was a strain yes. But this is different. I can't stay in my marriage. My feelings for Mary are too strong. It's not fair on Lavinia."

"Does Mary love you too?" Tom asked bluntly. "You already made sure of that?"

Matthew's lips pursed in a frown. "No. I've not asked her."

Tom almost spit out his ale. "You've not asked? You've just left your wife for her."

Matthew's response was careful. "I left Lavinia because I could no longer live a lie. Any life I might have with Mary is quite separate."

"Spoken like a lawyer." Tom observed.

"I have to get one of those." Matthew pulled on his cheeks with his hands. "And we have to talk about some potential fallout of this divorce petition."

Tom was ahead of him. "You're not taking control over Swire. I know that already."

Matthew nodded. "I can't take it. It was given in a spirit of fidelity to Lavinia. To the Swire family. I obviously fall short in that department." Matthew took another pull from his glass.

Matthew did feel a hint of manipulation in Reggie's will, or a challenge knowing Matthew's proclivities for such. And it was quite a prize. A huge corporate entity with its tentacles in many different ventures all around the globe. He would confess that under different circumstances he might have taken it on. Accept Swire's test of his ability and become CEO of a major corporation at 34. But he had not earned it on his own. And being given something was not how he wanted to succeed.

His best offer, to show that Swire's trust was not lost on Matthew, was to tell Lavinia he'd accept a temporary position as interim CEO to hold things over until another could be chosen. He'd turn over all shares in the company to Lavinia at that point so she could do with them as she wanted. She'd be rich beyond anything he could ever offer her.

"I can't really tell you more. It's up to Lavinia. It was quite possible her lawyer will tell her to take me for everything. Not just Swire, but take CB Properties as well."

Lavinia had it in her power to ruin him. Tit for tat. Revenge. Whatever… anything was possible. She might play on his guilt in any kind of settlement, knowing he'd be likely to give her what she wanted.

He held out hope that she would not. The only thing he intended to mediate would be to hold on to his business with no split.

That was a sobering thought for both Tom and Matthew.

"You have every right to hate me." Matthew told Tom squarely. "You might have become very rich with a merger with Swire. I can still put in a good word for you, or anyone at CB that might want to jump into this opportunity."

"That's good of you Matthew. I'd expect nothing less than that. You're a good man, but no. I think I'm happy just where I am. I'll spread the word but I don't think anyone wants to leave. We're a good tight bunch. We'll succeed on our own terms."

Matthew was appreciative. "Thank you Tom."

The two men sat in easy silence afterward. Matthew's mind whirled at what he had just done.

XX

Matthew's schedule was full nearly every day. He hardly had time to think and he liked it that way. Raskin had recommended a divorce expert. Matthew had yet to see Joan Hunt, but he had crossed the Rubicon and there was no going back.

The following fortnight flew by in a whirl of activities.

He could hardly take it all in. He was not just mincing legal words when he told Tom he considered his divorce from Lavinia separate from any answer on Mary's part. He could not live with Lavinia any more given his change of heart. It was not fair to her. He believed she would be fair in any settlement. They were to meet in a settlement mediation once Lavinia's lawyer had a chance to analyse all of their joint holdings.

But as to his regard for Mary, he knew what he felt. A love that threatened to burst through his chest. He had no idea how he would go on without her in his life. He knew he should feel more of a sense of shame and guilt about this love. But no one was master of their own heart. It led the body where it wanted.

And it had led Matthew to Mary.

Did she feel the same?

His stomach did flip flops at the thought that she did. He believed she did. But doubts had crept it. That she would not want a man who had behaved in ways potentially dishonourable. That she thought he was real cad who used her most ill.

That she was truly in love with her boyfriend.

That made him take a hard pause. He'd just have to find out.

Mary had sent him an email reminder about the York Riding Show. It was in about a fortnight. She would leave him a member's enclosure badge at the entrance tent if he decided he wanted to go. She had signed just her name.

She gave nothing away.

Did she really want him to go?

Three weeks after the initial phone call confirmation that the leasing was theirs, Tom and Mika finalized all the details. That week was crazy at CB Properties as the Woolgate deal was in its last stages and Matthew's detailed data needed to be checked and cross checked before the final offering of retail space rental leasing agreements was accepted by Crabtree. They would have to hire one or two more estate agents which also meant he and Tom were interviewing all week.

Matthew, Tom, and Mika met to finalize that the eager candidate Marla Rasgotra was a perfect fit for their company. As was Nick Peters, being of an older generation and giving the young company an air of old world gravitas. At least that what Tom said in an attempt at humour on a Friday afternoon.

"If you two don't mind," Matthew glanced at his watch. "I will leave you two to give the good news to Ms. Rasgotra and Mr. Peters. I have to be somewhere."

"We'll take them to dinner to celebrate." Tom said. It had become a tradition to do that with new employees. Making them feel a part of the firm, rather than just staff.

"I'm off then." Matthew put his mobile in his pocket and picked up his iPad. "I won't be back in touch until Monday at the earliest."

Tom gave him a questioning look, but just said, "Have a good time."

Matthew gave a small smile. "I hope to."

He had made up his mind to go see Mary. He wanted to see her ride at her first competition since her heartache at the London Olympic trials. Jellybean's first real test of her abilities. Matthew had become so invested in this adventure. He wanted to see it all for himself.

And to see Mary in her element was not to be missed. Just the image of seeing her astride the thoroughbred putting the animal through her paces across the countryside made him want not to miss a minute of it. So he changed clothes in his private room across from his office and drove off down the M1 once again.

Matthew arrived around 3:30 after clocking a speed that had him glancing in his rear view for any hint of the road police. The Porsche performed and he made it into the car lot in time to hear the announcement that more riders were out on the course. He rushed over to get his badge and made his way into the Show. It was a bit disorienting with all the tents and people rushing about to find the best view of the course. He spotted the hospitality tent and Members Enclosure to his right. That was supposed to have a view of the main arena and grandstand seating.

The last people he wanted to bump into was the Crawley clan. He and Robert really had nothing more to say to one another. And he did not want another grilling as to his intentions regarding their sister from Sybil or Edith.

He wanted to see Mary. He glanced to where a crowd gathered shouting names of support. He walked over and felt the throbbing sensation of the horses race by. He tried to distinguish Mary or Jellybean. He thought he saw her distinctive red and blue riding helmet, taking its colors from the Downton standard.

"Mary." He said as another raced by him. It was definitely her, making her way to the headland and the next series of jumps. It was the closest she'd ever be to him again.

He felt a jolt of such love and joy and happiness. She was truly in it to win it. Focused, controlled, and with a game face that took in nothing but the quarter mile in front of her. She easily flew over the ditch obstacle.

"Go for it." He said through gritted teeth. The other riders followed her, throwing him back as the horses powered by. His fisted hand crumpled the Show catalogue.

Matthew leaned out to see if he could follow Mary's progress but she disappeared. He made his way around the tent again when he heard the announcer say "A rider was down" and "An ambulance was being called for."

No one knew who it was. It could be any number of riders who had made their way around the bend and onto the outer portion of the course. He asked several officials who gave him a worried look, but shrugged their shoulders. They wouldn't know until the ambulance reached the rider. Or the others finished the course.

Matthew made his way back to the stables. His badge as co-owner of Jellybean allowed him access. Riders, horses, stable hands, officials, and other owners all rushed about. There were several stables to inspect. Matthew got lost at one point and walked through the same set of stalls twice. Got mixed-up again finding his way back and walked into a stable he didn't think he had checked out when he heard Mary's voice.

"I was out on the course as well when it happened." She was speaking to a horse groomer.

"I know." The man replied. "We all thought it was you. Glad to see it wasn't, given it's your first day back. You did well today."

"Thank you." Mary sounded so relieved to Matthew's ears. "It's very good to be back."

He stood rooted to the spot. Just so relieved to see her. Whole. Intact. Not carried off on a stretcher with a cervical collar protecting the potential for paralysis. That image had plagued him since the initial announcement. He had encouraged Mary to return to competition. He'd never forgive himself if resulted in her injury. Or death. He paled at the thought.

His breath was hot. He could hardly hold it together. She was alive. She was fine.

He walked over to her slowly. She was brushing Jellybean down. He loved watching this ritual. He came up behind her.

She knew he was there. He felt it. She turned.

"Matthew." Her words soft. "I didn't know you were here."

"I…" He stumbled. "I only made up my mind at the last minute to come. I ...I wanted to see you ride."

Matthew couldn't help but rove his eyes over her face, her body. The jacket was open to the protective vest. He noted her breeches were splotched with mud from the course. She had dug in hard and performed so well. "You were magnificent."

"You were watching?" Mary asked giving him a questioning look. "Did my family see you?"

"No…No. I watched from a distance." He reassured her. He knew she had kept their relationship a secret. "And then I lost you around the bend at the embankment. That's when I became concerned when the announcement was made. I rushed back here but got lost trying to find Jellybean's stall."

Matthew wanted to hug her. Kiss her. Then her next words pulled him back to reality.

"Why are you here? You said we couldn't be friends." She pulled away from him slightly.

It cut him to the quick. She needed an answer.

He was ready to give it. No matter her response. He needed to say the words.

Matthew leaned into her ear. His hot breath making her shiver. "I don't want to be your friend Mary." He licked his lips and finished what he came here to say, "I love you too much to be just that."

He heard a sharp intake of breath as she looked at him searchingly. "You love me…"

Her lips parted as her words took his declaration.

And he knew what to do. He pulled her towards him and brought his lips to hers. She met him with equal ferocity. He pulled on her lower lips, tugging it with his teeth. His tongue slipped around her mouth as her lips pulled him in towards her body.

"What…" She pulled away again. "What does this mean…"

He was incapable of speech after that kiss. Matthew's hands enfolded around her face. He caressed her cheeks.

Mary's eyes never left his. She leaned into his face. Her hands came around his own, her fingers touching and stroking.

He kissed her again and she moaned lightly as her body shivered in response to his movements. He could lose himself completely. But first he needed to know.

He let go of her face. Of her lips. Pulled away, lamenting already the missing space between them.

"It means whatever you want it to mean." He said.

"What about…?" Mary's eyes narrowed. Was he playing games with her. "Your ring is missing again."

"I'm separated and in the process of getting divorced." He swallowed thickly. ""I love you. I want to give us a chance. I think you feel the same about me." He looked at her, suddenly nervous. "At least I hope you do."

Mary curved into his body. She felt his heart, beating fast. "I do, Matthew. I do too."

Matthew sighed in exhilarated relief. "Good." And he placed dancing, lingering, wispy kisses on her lips. "Can we go somewhere?"

Her hands came up to straighten his mussed locks of hair. "I have to finish grooming Jellybean and see my family. But later…"

"Later…" His bated, hot breath on her face.

"Later meet me at Downton. Mama and Papa are taking the train to London straight from here. They're to spend the week end. No one will be at the house as Papa always gives the staff the week end off when he closes the house to tourists." Mary's cheeks flamed at the thought of her invitation.

Alone with Matthew all week end at Downton.

What would they get up to?

A sly smile escaped his lips. "Should we?"

She arched an eyebrow. "Be completely inappropriate?"

"I would love to be completely inappropriate with you this week end." Matthew's silky tone implying both intimacy and a hint of mischief. He brought her gloved hand to his fingers and took it off, kissing her inner palm before putting it around his neck.

He felt the thrum of her body in anticipation. Her brown eyes dilated from his touch.

"Let's do it." Mary's husky response as his lips once again engulfed hers.

XX  
 _tbc- I hope you like Matthew's perspective. Views? Thanks for all the feedback. I love it._

 _This is a fictional story based on fictional characters and is not meant to bear any relevance in the real world._

 _UK divorce law...as this web site explained it to me. All mistakes and exaggerations are mine... but I thought_

Basically, when a couple divorce (or seek a dissolution of a civil partnership) a court can, and very often does, divide up the matrimonial assets, his, hers and theirs, in any way it sees fit. Within the context of a divorce the process of resolving financial issues between the parties (transfers of property, maintenance etc) is referred to as "ancillary relief". Regardless of whose name the property is in a court may order it to be transferred to the other and this applies to all property owned either by husband


	12. Chapter 12: Caution to the Wind

**_This chapter is definitely rated M!_**

 **XX**

 _A sly smile escaped his lips. "Should we?"_

 _She arched an eyebrow. "Be completely inappropriate?"_

 _"I would love to be completely inappropriate with you this week end." Matthew's silky tone implying both intimacy and a hint of mischief. He brought her gloved hand to his fingers and took it off, kissing her inner palm before putting it around his neck._

 _He felt the thrum of her body in anticipation. Her brown eyes dilated from his touch._

 _"Let's do it." Mary's husky response as his lips once again engulfed hers._

XX

Matthew pulled into the space behind Downton Abbey. Mary had given him directions to park in the back staff lot as it would be empty. She would meet him there when after taking her parents to the train station and making sure Jellybean and Mr. Banks were loaded into the horsebox she had bought second hand.

"Jerry will drive the horses back and put them in their stalls."

"That's the new groom?" Matthew had read all the email notifications Mary sent. He just did not always respond.

"Yes." Mary pulled a strand behind her hair. They had moved into a more private corner of Jellybean's horse stall at the York Riding Show. "Jerry Stahl."

Matthew looked amused. "Good name for a groom."

"He's an old hand. Very reliable. His great grandfather worked on the estate years ago. I was lucky to persuade him out of retirement. His daughter wants work at Downton Stables to learn to clip and plait for dressage. I think she wants me to take her on as a student. She's at uni." Mary eased Jellybean's bridle off.

"So that's how many employees?" Matthew asked.

"Three counting Anita the office help. Some of the owners who board horses come out to take care of their animals as well."

"Sounds like you have it all in hand." Matthew never doubted anything less.

Mary smiled. "I love it, Matthew." Her eyes danced as she continued, "You have no idea how much I appreciate you giving me the financial backing I needed."

Mary drew closer to him.

"Is that all I am?" Matthew joshed in her ear. "Your silent partner. You'll use me just for my money."

"Of course." Mary rejoined flicking his left ear slowly with her tongue. She felt his body quiver. "I hope to do just that all week end."

The both were nervous, trying to hide it.

Matthew glanced around, no one was there. He drew her body towards him. His hands roamed down her waist and towards the riding breeches that fit across her rear. His kiss was deep and needy.

"How long will you be?" He wanted to be with her as soon as possible. Any time alone would be time to worry that his decision to be with Mary was wrong.

It didn't feel wrong, though. His mouth nuzzling her neck. Her hands underneath his jacket and along his back.

It felt exactly right.

"I will be a couple hours. I need to get my parents to the station. And make sure Sybil goes with Edith to her flat." Mary's voice upticked at that last revelation.

Matthew gave her a quizzical look.

"She might decide at the last minute to spend night at Downton," her hand running low and massaging his rear. "And we can't have that."

He gulped. "That would not be good."

"Meet you at Downton then. Go around the back of the house to the staff lot. It's more private." She gave him a meaningful glance.

Matthew slowly nodded. "I have to pick up a thing or two but I'll be on time."

"What things?" She tugged surreptitiously on his belt loop.

He groaned into her mouth for one last kiss. "Some things…" A lingering pull on her lower lip. "See you later."

And with all the forbearance he could muster, Matthew left her to finishing up grooming and unsaddling the horse.

He swiveled on his heels at the door to the stable. He gave her a dazzling smile. "You were a winner today Lady Mary Crawley. You were amazing."

She shooed him away with a blush. "See you later."

XX

Matthew smiled at that memory. It was just a couple hours ago but he already missed her. When making the decision to go to the Riding Show he had anticipated the possibility of spending more time with Mary. But he had no expectations beyond a dinner and a talk after.

The potential of a week end alone made him weak at the knees.

And so the decision for a quick trip to Boots at Ripon.

Along the way back towards the Downton Estate he caught a sign for a florist shoppe. He pulled the car into a space and went inside.

The bell dinged. "Hello?" He called out to the empty show room.

From behind a curtained back partition a woman emerged. "Hallo How can I help you?" Her Scots burr light and friendly.

"I'd like to purchase some flowers. A bouquet please." Matthew's glance took in the variety of sprays, posies, and plant pots on display.

"Oh aye." She led him towards a selection of Fall colors. "What's the occasion?"

Matthew's hesitant but cheeky expression enchanted the store owner.

"Oh" She winked. "A lady then. A lovely spray of colorful flowers for a first date? Or something more romantic."

Matthew spied an arm sheaf of red roses. "How about that?"

The older woman approved of his choice. "Red the color of passion. Of love. You know Robbie Burns is always right "O my Luve is like a red, red rose…"

Matthew finished with "I will love thee still, my dear/ While the sands o' life shall run."

"Ach you must have a touch of the Scots about ye." She laughed. "Shall I brighten it up with a new ribbon?"

Mathew's eyes danced. "Yes please. I'd love to buy that."

So now here was outside of Downton awaiting Mary's arrival. He was only a tad early having made good time from Ripon.

Mary said after she saw Jerry off with the horses, she'd take her parents to the train. And, he remembered, made sure that they'd be absolutely alone tonight.

Mary had seemed to understand that he didn't want to talk about what happened before their reunion at the horse show. That tonight was for them alone.

Would there be the tinge of regret in the cold light of day? That he had acted with his need to possess this woman. That it, rather than rational consideration of his still marital state, made him act rashly and therefore jeopardize any good faith on the part of his soon to be ex-wife.

Matthew's jaw tightened in a grimace. He just didn't think that would happen. Lavinia was not vindictive. She was strong, for sure. Their marriage was over. Lavinia knew it. Her steely look upon his disclosure that his heart lay elsewhere showed him that. But his honesty was what she wanted. And it was what she got.

They parted with all the cards on the table. She knew he would go to Mary.

He'd deal with any consequences.

This night was for them alone. This week end. This life to come.

He turned as he heard Mary's car wheels on the gravel pavement. Her Jaguar pulled in beside him. She grabbed a bag and got out.

"Been waiting long?" She asked coming around the side of his Porsche. She dropped the bag on the pavement.

Matthew opened his driver's side door and put his feet on the gravel. He got out but ducked back in to lift the bouquet off the passenger seat. The store owner made him promise to treat the flowers delicately, as you would your lady love.

And he had every intention of doing so.

He took them out and turned around to face Mary, the flowers across his arms.

Matthew gazed into Mary's eyes as she took in his gift. "Oh Matthew…." She reached out to take them into her hands.

"I hope they're not too much. I don't want to overwhelm you with expectations." He was suddenly so nervous, so panicked that his desire would drive her away. That it was all too much too soon.

"Have I miscalculated?" His eyes shifted from side to side.

"Do you always do that?" Mary asked, touching her nose delicately to the red tips. She gave him an insouciant look.

"What?" His eyes beetled again.

"Move your eyes from left to right whenever you are unsure of yourself?" Her cheeks were half covered by the rose petals.

Matthew's eyes froze and opened wide. He stared at her agape. Then he clapped his mouth shut, but his eyes darted once more.

Mary's laugh was irresistibly delighted. "There. You did it again."

A slow smile crossed the corners of his mouth. His cheeks, though remained flamed red.

Mary was inches now from his face. "I love the flowers. They are perfect. Thank you."

His eyes peered into hers. "I rather hoped you would. You rattle me, you know. I hardly know where I am when I'm around you. It's deliciously unsettling."

"Good." And her lips took his in a long, slow kiss. "I should hate to be predictable." The crushing sound of the wrapping as he clinched her to his body.

"Let's go in." As Mary released his lips.

"I'll follow you." Matthew said, taking a step back. She handed the rose sheaf to Matthew temporarily.

Mary moved towards the side garden door. There was a keypad with an alarm code. She clicked in some numbers and heard the click of the unlocked bolt. "I have to disengage the interior alarm as well. Come inside."

Matthew walked inside and set down the roses on a side table. He went back to get their bags.

The week end had started.

XX

Mary completed certain housekeeping tasks as Matthew toured the downstairs of the Abbey. It was so silent. So beautiful. He had not had a chance to look around during his first trip. He had been hurriedly escorted into the library and then the dining room.

So he turned instead into another room. A pianoforte in the corner making it the music room he mused. Didn't all these houses have named rooms?

"I've never learned to play it I'm afraid." Mary's voice from behind him. "It's very old. Mama barely let us touch it when we were children." She had taken off her boots and was in bare feet.

Matthew had his hand lightly touching the instrument. "My mother wanted me to learn the violin. I was atrocious. The neighbours complained."

"So no musicality between us then?" Mary approached him.

Matthew lips puckered. "I do sing a little."

Mary's eyes narrowed on him. "I do too."

"Well then," he said, "We might just get on harmoniously after all."

His arms drifted around her waist. Running along the S curvature of her torso. "The perfect line of beauty the poets call it. I want to know all of you."

"You shall." Her burning voice all he needed to hear.

Their lips closed upon each other's. Mary's hands fumbled with the buttons of his suit jacket. She unhooked them and drew it off his shoulders. His hands roamed against the silky softness of her riding breeches, cupping each of the cheeks of her buttocks with abandon. He pulled her closer, taking his hand under her thigh and drawing her leg up and around his groin.

She gave a guttural moan of pleasure as she felt his arousal.

"I need to get out of these clothes." Mary whispered in his ear. "Do you want to help?"

He swallowed thickly and nodded.

"Come upstairs." And as he released his grip on her she slipped out of his arms. She took his hand in hers and guided him out of the room and towards the large mahogany and oak stair case. "My room is on the second landing. On the left."

Matthew followed her up the stairs. His body moving in time with hers at each stair step, his hands moved to possess her. His fingers reached out, stroking her inner thigh delicately and then more vigorously as Mary's mouth responded with a ragged moan of pleasure. She doubled over and missed a step as the wave of heat his action caused struck her. Even clothed his touch set her off. She pushed herself back against the bulge in his trousers, rubbing it and feeling it lengthen and grow stiff at her effort.

They never reached the bedroom. Mary twisted around and gave him a hot, slippery kiss. Her tongue dove deep into his mouth, almost down his throat. She tore at his shirt impatiently, the buttons flying off in every direction.

He responded in kind with her riding blouse. He half unbuttoned it even as she her tongue lapped inside his mouth sending spasms of pleasure throughout his body. He gave up and pushed it over her head. Her bra came next. She shimmied out of it to help him. A louder moan exited her as his fingers made their way to each breast. He lost his balance in the attempt to bring his mouth down upon her nipple.

They stumbled up towards the second floor landing, their legs dangling down the steps as he lay her down upon the carpet. His hand once more stroking inside her thigh while his mouth found their desired target upon her breast. His tongue flicked and played until he brought the nipple upright and erect. The soft flesh and warm skin pushing him to massage his lips deeper and deeper until her breast engorged and the aureole was swollen red and enflamed.

Mary felt encumbered by all her clothes. By his. By anything that kept their flesh from touching.

"Take the breeches off." She begged hoarsely.

Matthew obliged. He unzipped the leggings and pulled them off in one move with a long grunt. He felt for her panties and tugged them down. She rose to meet his waiting mouth. He filled her with deep lunges of his tongue, tasting her. Making his own hardness swell against the constrictions of his trousers. She shouted as his efforts brought a release.

"Yes. More… more…" Her breaths ragged as her body shuddered with each flick of his tongue inside her.

Matthew, in a haze of impassioned lust he could no longer control, seized her. She was wet with his action. He wanted her to be uncontrolled in her wantonness. In his shamelessness. His teeth nibbled at her soft folds. She responded with even more guttural moans. Her hands grasped and played with the locks of his hair. Her eyes had been screwed shut, but she opened them to see him possess the most intimate parts of her body. He was blind to her watching him as he concentrated on her pleasure.

She lolled her head back languidly as each shattering wave of desire crashed, wrecking her willpower and making her demand even more of him. She pushed her thighs against his cheeks, and he lifted his head. She reached out to pull him towards her, realizing his trousers were still on. One last grunt of effort and they, along with his boxer briefs, were flung down the staircase. She giggled naughtily.

"We'll have to get them later….," as her mouth clamped down on his hot, sticky lips. Matthew's body leaned over hers. He positioned himself to plunge his shaft into her as she opened herself up to him.

But he hesitated suddenly.

She felt his absence as he lifted up. "What?" Her words muffled as her mouth was dry from his previous claims on her body.

Matthew's tousled hair was in his eyes. He blew some air up from his mouth in an attempt to meet her gaze below him. He flung his head and the locks dislodged. He could see she was antsy to get on with their love making. Her hands were kneading his arse cheeks, digging her nails in. Making his hard shaft inch closer and closer inside her.

"Should I put on some protection?" He finally blurted out, probably ruining the mood of intensity that had previously surrounded them.

"It's fine, Matthew." Mary exclaimed heatedly, wriggling her legs around his buttocks and cupping her knees against him. She pulled him down further. "I've got it in hand." And she made her demand clear by pushing even harder against him.

Without any more resolve left, he thrust inside to her contented groans. She was ready and wanted all of him. He pulled back and thrust in harder and harder, she meeting him with every stroke, rocking and pushing him inside. His mouth went down again on her breasts, making her shout as he nipped and pulled.

Then their mouths met in wet sloppy kisses as each took the other to the brink of climax. His deep lunges became more deliberate, more focused. He rode and pushed in time to each of her heated groans. Suddenly he felt her buck and jolt underneath him, her mouth biting her hand as he had released his lips to get better traction with his body for each of his thrusts. He pumped even harder taking her to a release that made her scream into the palm of her hand. She hooked her legs even tighter around him as she writhed side to side and then suddenly her body went taut and then collapsed in contentment. She gave one last lingering wave of bemoaned pleasure.

Then his own spasms of intensity wracked his body. He let loose after holding it in for so long, the sensation was insanely explosive, taking him to a state of near ecstasy and exhaustion at the same time.

He had never felt anything like it. He was desperate to keep it going, it left him trembling from the exertion. He felt numb and helpless. He wanted it to last forever. Mary's body, her scent, her being encompassed and possessed him. She was skillful in ways of maneuvering his body he never experienced before. He had been used to giving others pleasure; she managed to make him give and take his own at the same time.

Matthew was adrift, hardly able to form a coherent thought. His body collapsed against Mary's as he heaved breaths to try to regain a semblance of rational thought.

Mary loved feeling the heaviness of his frame atop her own. His weight gave her the feeling of being enclosed by his skin, by his warmth, by his everything. She closed her eyes and allowed the sensations to fill her body.

They stayed long minutes catching their breaths, coming back to reality.

Mary grunted a final time, heaving him to one side. "I still need that shower."

Matthew sat up. Lifted her up next to him. He finally took in the fact they were still on the staircase. "We never even made it to your room…" He chortled.

"Come on." And she led him inside her bedroom and to the en suite shower, leaving their clothes strewn all over the stairs and landing. "I'll come back for them later."

The hot water felt so good on their bodies. Each took time soaking the other in suds and lather. Matthew stood behind her, his hands loitered on the curvature of her waist, stroking down the sides and coupling her buttocks in his hands. He then explored her breasts, teasing each nipple, manipulating until she groaned once more. He thought he'd never tire of that sound. She leaned into him as his fingers felt their way once again into her, stroking gently but firmly.

"You are insatiable." Mary voice came to him as from a fog. He was so concentrating on her body, on each sensation.

"You are perfection." If it was wrong to say, let it be so. He could no longer deny it. She turned and their lips met. The steam of the shower wafting around them. They were lost once again to each other's craving.

XX

"I'm starved." Mary said.

Matthew quirked his eyebrow as an impudent grin spread across his face. God help him, he had never felt so good in his life.

"Cheeky bastard." She replied, playfully hitting his rump as they walked down the stairs after cleaning up their previously discarded clothing. "I mean for food. Should we call up a take away?"

Matthew's laugh echoed on the landing. "You know I do cook."

"Your talents are endless…" And they locked in a kiss again.

Matthew continued down the stairs. "At university I learned to fend for myself in the kitchen. Too poor sometimes to eat out, you find amazing way to combine whatever is in the frig." He puckered his lips as he then said, "I suppose you never had to worry about that. Oh Carson… peel me a grape." And he mimicked an open mouth and a plunging in of the fruit.

Mary hated to admit that was, if not close to the absolute truth, at least had a modicum of veracity. "Alright alright…I may not have had to learn to cook, but it wasn't like that at all. We no longer have servants waiting on us hand and foot."

At Matthew's astonished look, she realized even that sounded as if she came from another reality. "It's who I am Matthew. We are the remains of a forgotten ruling class. Caught between what was and what is. At least I know I have had a privileged life. I can't deny it and I won't apologize either."

Matthew looked chastened. "You're right. I shouldn't make fun…it's just that…" and his hand waved around the salon as they walked towards the kitchen that was one floor below. "You know it's servants downstairs and masters upstairs. I would have been a servant."

"But you've inherited the earth." Mary pointed out as she started to poke around the cabinets and pantry storage areas. "Your class won the struggle. Look at you. A self-made multi-millionaire while people like Papa try to maintain a façade of wealth, to hide all the debts accumulated over generations of waste and idleness. They stuck their heads in the ground like the proverbial ostrich and are now astonished that the times have changed."

Matthew agreed. "Your father is going to have to retrench on costs whether he wants to or not. He can't keep it up." And to prove his point he asked when this kitchen was refurbished and upgraded. The appliances were all state of the art. The sculpted steel side by side multi compartment glassed in refrigerator he was poking around inside cost at least £10,000. He saw a door that led down a hall to another room with more of the same kind of expensive systems but this time an independently zoned wine cooler with twelve shelves of bottles. He counted four of those in all. And that wasn't counting the Aga stove, new marble counter tops, and every gadget and appliance he could ever think of seeing in a store.

"Mother likes to putter around down here." Mary said. "Dad travels to France every year to see the new vintages."

Matthew just grunted. He didn't really want to get into all that with Mary tonight.

"Ah ha!" He claimed his prize, pulling out some eggs.

She looked unimpressed. "They're eggs."

"Ye of little faith…" He tutted. "Eggs can be turned into anything." He looked around. "Aaah. …bread." He pulled open a cabinet, figuring they'd have a sealed storage compartment for that as well.

" Mrs. Patmore makes that fresh every other day." Mary explained.

Matthew let his economizing go for the moment.

"Let's see…" Matthew pulled out his iPhone from his pocket. "Ah the Smitten Kitchen. I like the sound of that.." and his finger scrolled around the chosen site.

"What are you doing?" Now Mary was insatiably curious. "You're making something?"

"You'll see" He said mysteriously. "Where are the spices? I need nutmeg and cinnamon."

She pointed to a cabinet as she glanced at the mobile he left on the counter. "French toast?"

"Hey! No cheating." He walked back towards her grabbing the iPhone.

She grinned like a Cheshire cat as she pulled her own out of her jeans pocket. "I can do you one better." And after a few clicks she thrust the mobile out to him.

Matthew squinted. He hated to admit he needed reading glasses but managed to make out the article title on Buzzfeed "Boozy French toast." He put his hand on his chin, thoughtfully scratching the stubble. "I like that. Do you have any Bailey's?" He walked back towards the room that seemed to hold all the liquor. Mary heard some bottles rattling and then he emerged again carrying not only the Bailey's but cointreau and bourbon.

Mary's eyes widened.

"What?"Matthew said innocently. "In for a penny..." and he clapped his hands in delight.

"Do you want to whisk the eggs, milk, sugar, and salt? Or slice the bread? We will have to let it sit for awhile. The recipe says overnight, but I think a couple hours will suffice."

"So who's hungry now!l" She walked around the island to stand next to him. "I'll slice. You whisk."

Between the two they managed to slice, whisk, and dip the bread into mixture after Matthew measured out several teaspoons of the alcohol into bowl. He decided just on the Irish cream liqueur and the cointreau for the dip, but poured himself and Mary a healthy portion of the bourbon.

"Where did you get this?" Matthew perused the label. "It's from Louisiana."

"Mama was surprised by Papa with a trip to New Orleans so she could go to the French Quarter and hear some real live jazz." Mary was munching on a banana as they worked. She dipped it in the liqueur.

"Will she mind if we use it?" He poured himself another.

"No." Mary held out her glass for a refill. "You're her favourite anyway."

Matthew smiled. "When would this have been?" Matthew's curiosity getting the better of him.

"Four years ago or there abouts." She scrunched her face in thought. "Mama made some friends and they still send her gifts like that. I do like some of the old cd's she brought back of the bands. It's not Radiohead or Chemical Brothers so i doubt you'd like it."

Matthew laughed. "Your mother's music taste is eclectic." He gave her sweetened lips a quick kiss. "So is mine. I'd love to hear some." What he did not disclose was those vacation dates would fit, he thought. Given the secret he was now burdened with about Robert's affair and breaking it off after the baby's birth.

Matthew finished pouring the mixture over the slices of bread. He bent his head towards the mobile again. "It needs to sit now."

"I need to see to the horses. Do you want to meet Diamond?"

Matthew's eyes lit up. "Very much."

They walked towards the back door. "Put these on." Mary handed him a pair of boots. "It's not far but it is muddy." She grabbed a flashlight. "Follow me."

They walked about half a mile to the stable yard. Matthew admired all the refurbishments as Mary made sure everything was in order.

"Come here Matthew." She said taking his hand and leading him back towards a stall. "This is Diamond." The thoroughbred knickered as Mary held out her hand. He ate the apple gently from the palm of her hand. She leaned her head along his neck.

Matthew took in the tableau of horse and owner. It was clear how special their connection was. "He's magnificent."

"There will never be another like him." Mary patted the animal. The horse moved closer to her. " We were one out on the course."

"Thank you for letting me meet him." Matthew moved up behind Mary.

She swayed a bit as the effect of the bourbon finally took hold. "If Jellybean and I have half the connection of Diamond and myself, I'll be satisfied."

Matthew reached out to take her in his arms but he too was feeling the buzz of the ninety proof bourbon. He pulled her closer to balance each other.

"Let's go back and put the slices in the oven." He rubbed his eyes to try to stop the double vision but it was no good. He was well on his way to being crocked.

She snickered. "If the boozy mix is as potent as Mama's bourbon, I might just let you carry me up the stairs naked." She placed her face on his chest, feeling the ripped abdomen of his muscular chest contract at her contact. She gave a deep sigh of utter contentment.

"Careful...I might not have the strength. We will just have to make love on the kitchen floor instead." His words slurred as he lifted her head up to see her face.

"That's fine with me..." She drew him closer again. "...now come and kiss me."

She moved up to allow him to pull her in for a long, deep kiss. She met it and slid her tongue down his throat, making him tremble in anticipation of sensual joys to come.

XX

 _...more to come for this week end... and then reality bites. Reviews are lovely and dear to my heart. Please tell me what you think._


	13. Chapter 13: A World Unto Themselves

_Continuing the week end at Downton : M rated chapter_

XX

Briiiiing! Bbbbriiiiinngg!

The mobile went off next to Matthew's ear. He grunted violently and almost threw his arm out to pitch it across the room.

Then he realized it was not his.

"Sorry…" Mary's soft whisper as she reached over his body to turn it off. At some point during the night they had switched sides on her bed. They had stumbled up the stairs the previous night, both too intoxicated by the Louisiana bourbon to do more than shed their clothes off and fall into Mary's bed.

Matthew remembered mumbling that the "French toast will taste better in the morning anyway."

Mary had curled into his body and they slept.

Morning came all too soon.

Matthew reached over to pull her down on top of him after she turned off the phone. He tried not to notice that she also frowned slightly at a message indicator. Instead his hands lingered her on her naked form. He pulled her closer and guided her arm up to his shoulder as his fingers delicately tingled her skin.

They kissed.

She languidly slid herself down his chest and below his waist. And Matthew no longer cared he was awoken at the crack of nothing.

Afterward, Matthew could hardly move. His heart raced from Mary's expert ministrations. He had held it until the sensations threatened to overwhelm and then the release jolted and exhausted him.

Mary lifted her head up and gave him a wickedly pleased smile. Then, with a satisfied grin, had gone to take a shower.

Matthew recovered and stretched with an indolence he hardly believed possible.

And he was still there when she came back. He pulled her down again. She giggled as she lost her balance.

"Why is your alarm set for 5am?" He snuggled against her neck, nuzzling kisses up and down the curves that enticed and seduced.

"I usually get my regimen done before my students arrive." Mary said. "Unless I am distracted…" And she pulled leisurely on his lower lip.

"Regimen?" Matthew cuddled closer. "Students?" He groaned. "Does this mean we really have to get up?"

"I can do my running and cross fit later. You can join me if you're up for it." Another smirky grin. "I usually go full out for a couple hours or so."

Matthew raised a sleepy eye brow. "You think I can't keep it up?" He moved his hand closer to her inner thigh.

"Oh you can keep it up…" Mary winked.

Matthew's lip curved at the edge. "Come here…" and he pulled her once again into his arms to return the favour of earlier.

It was past 8:45 by the time Mary was coherently aware again of time.

"I do have students starting at 9am." Mary tore herself away from him. "I can't let them down." She started to dress.

Matthew gazed up. "Of course not. I wouldn't expect you to. I can find something to do." He pulled his hair back across his head and got out of the bed. He moved into the bathroom and pulled a towel across his waist.

"Like what?" She pulled on her work boots and looked over at him. God he looked delicious.

Matthew sighed, reluctant to let go of this bubble where nothing touched them from the outside world.

But it would. It inevitably would.

"I have to go Manchester. Since I'm so close here, I can get there and back again by later today." He reached for the hot water tap.

"To your mother?" Mary bit her lower lip. She knew that Isobel would most probably hate her on sight.

He nodded miserably. "I have to tell her. I've been avoiding her for three weeks. She knows something is wrong."

Mary's eyes flickered anxiety.

"Not wrong…" Matthew's voice hitched as he tried to reassure her. "Not wrong…I just know she's not going to understand. She is very close to …" He tried again. "…to Lavinia." He leaned against the doorway. "I don't even know what to say to her."

Mary understood all too well. "I know." Matthew had told her several stories about his mother, funny and awkward ones of his growing up. They had been alone together since his father's death. They were very close. He chafed sometimes under her overprotectiveness, but he loved her none the same. It was also a way to talk about family, without mentioning his wife.

Matthew lifted a cautious eyebrow. "Have you told …erm… "

"Have I told Henry I'm in love with another man?" Mary's dull monotone told him everything he needed to know. She shook her head heavily, "Let's talk later. We need to figure a lot of things out." She looked at her mobile again. "Josh's parents have texted they've arrived at the stable."

Matthew let her go after one last kiss. "I'm very glad to be the man you're in love with. I want to be that man for the rest of my life."

She reached and drew her finger down the side of his cheek. "I'll be here when you get back."

XX

After he showered and dressed Matthew walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. He really was starving now and pulled out the baking pan of French toast. The mix had soaked into the bread and it smelled delicious. He popped it into the oven at the recommended setting and set out to make some coffee in the rather daunting looking Jura One Touch off to his right. He and Lavinia always preferred a French press to any of those new machines.

After that effort led to more success than he had dared, Matthew sat down with his steamed coffee and toast. That summer working the coffee shop paid off after all, he surmised. Even though it had been the ninth circle of hell at the time.

For it had been the summer he had fallen in love, or at least he thought so, for at least three months.

Caro…

What a fool he had been.

Was he being a fool again?

The forkful of syrupy French toast hung suspended in front of his face.

No…yes… Yes he was. He was being foolish. Unwise. Imprudent. Impulsive. Probably irresponsible. And most definitely injudicious.

Mary was lovely. Mary was smart and clever. She was witty and beautiful. She pushed all his buttons and opened his world to new possibilities. Mary ripped his sanity to shreds. She sucked the oxygen out of a room whenever she made her presence known.

He was made different by her.

And he didn't care.

Fools in love seldom do.

With a smile, he found a coffee thermos in amongst the many kitchen gadgets and a box. He brought some of the steamed coffee and toast out to Mary's office. He could hear her giving encouraging guidance to her young pupil.

He left a note and turned out of the stable and back to the gravel drive for his car.

Matthew thought about leaving the car at the train station in Downton Village and buying a ticket. The trip to Manchester would be easier by train, and he could walk to his mother's house within minutes.

And give him time to think.

He didn't want to think.

So he decided to drive instead.

He arrived, after a delay because of a crash on the motorway, around noon.

Isobel was home. Matthew could see the Audi he had bought her parked on the street. She had insisted the ten-year-old Peugeot was perfectly fine.

He had rolled his eyes and bought her the new A4.

"Mum?" He unlocked the door and walked in.

"I'm in the kitchen." Her bright tone wafted down the hall. "Want some tea?"

"Yes. Thanks." Matthew checked the living room for the damp spot. "I see you finally had the builders in." A storm had brought down a tree branch down and damaged the roof and interior wall. Isobel had been away visiting friends. Matthew had been house sitting for her when it happened so he had settled with the insurance and retained the plaster restorers after the roofers had fixed the corner, soffits, and the leak in the attic.

Isobel looked out from the kitchen doorframe. "Two days ago. The roofers were here last week."

"Great." He walked over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Have you decided on the new colour?"

"Not yet. Your interior design friend suggested Antiguan sky blue to give a Caribbean feel." Isobel handed him a cup of steaming Yorkshire Gold.

"And?" He took a sip.

She paused. "I rather like the idea. He was quite a lot of fun, your old flat mate. He suggested a complete redo of the kitchen."

Matthew was simultaneously astonished and completely not surprised. Raj had that effect on everyone. It was why he ran one of the highest profile new design firms in London. He had been after his mother to get new appliances and do up the cabinets after thirty years. When he exhausted all of his options, he called in Raj.

And within a fortnight she was on board.

He laughed to himself. That all turned out for the best.

She had never asked why he so readily agreed to stay in the house and take care of the cat while she visited an ailing friend in Dover. Initially he had thought about hiring a sitter, but instead he had said yes. He was glad he had been there though, during that storm. He would not have wanted her to go through that alone or leave the house empty with the damage.

He stood in the kitchen holding his cup of tea. Then he sat down. Put his cup on the oak table.

And now he had to tell her.

"What are you doing all the way up here…?" Isobel enquired. "I've tried calling but you just text back excuses."

She tried not to sound disapproving, but Matthew could hear it in her voice.

Matthew pulled his fingers through his hair. A nervous habit, Mary would say. Knowing it was true, he stopped.

"I've been avoiding you." He confessed. "I have something to say that I know you won't understand."

She held the cup away from her lips. Waiting.

Mathew's eyes shifted back and forth. Then he looked straight at her. "I've asked Lavinia for a divorce. I am living in a flat near the business for the past three weeks."

It was as she had feared. "Is that why Lavinia said to ask you why you were not at home?"

His head trembled imperceptibly. "Yes."

"Why?" Only a son could hear the disappointment in that one syllable question.

"It's not fair on Lavinia to stay in a marriage where her husband is love with another woman." Said all in one breath.

He waited …

Isobel's eyes narrowed "What?" her tone pierced with confusion. She had no idea. "I assumed it had to do with what went on last year. When you were carousing with your Americans."

Matthew snorted. "They were not my friends, Mother. They were clients. Michael Morton wanted to look at properties in London to expand his clubs He's a big developer of entertainment venues in California and Nevada. I had to go with him."

"To places that had you smelling like a tart's boudoir by the time you managed to drag yourself home." Isobel accused.

"I told you it was necessary to meet him on his own turf. He wanted to see what he was buying." Matthew's exasperation was of long standing. "This has nothing to do with that."

"What does it have to do with then? What do you mean in love with another woman?" Isobel leaned against the kitchen counter.

Matthew steepled his fingers together in front of his face. "I met someone through work. We've known each other about four months. I've helped her start her own business." He pushed his thumbs against his nose. "I fell in love. As soon as she turned around the very first time. I knew."

"Oh Matthew. This is just like when you were at university. With Caro. You were sure you were in love with her. You said she was the right girl. And then that all went pear shaped." Isobel retorted with a frustrated sigh.

Matthew knew she was going to bring that up. He had been besotted with Caro. He had almost asked her to marry him straight out of uni despite having only a glimmer of prospects as a successful lawyer.

She chose an investment banker instead.

He had been crushed. Thought the world had ended. And then he just got on with life. Met Lavinia. Married. Settled down. Put all that behind him. Made a success. Said that would never happen to him again.

Had he settled for second best? No, his inner voice screamed. Lavinia was worth more than that. She did not deserve what he was putting her through.

But neither could he go back. Mary filled his body, his soul. She was everything to him now.

"This is different." He insisted. "I was wrong. I wasn't really in love. Just young and stupid."

"And Lavinia?" Isobel's eyes bored into his. "You should at least mention love when talking about your wife." Her eyes welled with unspent tears.

"I do love her." Matthew's insistence rang hollow though to his mother. He knew it. He knew he was making a botch of it all. His emotions were all over the place. He had to pull it together.

"Then why not try to work it out? Some passing fling will blow away like a wisp on the wind. You've made a commitment. I can't make it out at all."

"You don't have to Mother." Matthew snapped. "It's my life. Our marriage. I'm doing what I believe is best."

"You don't know yourself. You've only known this other woman you said for a few weeks, months at most? How can you say you're willing to throw over the past four years? This is just not like you to act so rashly." Isobel struggled to take all this in.

"I've wronged Lavinia. I won't do it anymore. She deserves to find her own happiness." His voice threatened to crack at that admission.

"And I've never heard anything more self-serving." Isobel pushed back.

Matthew's voice came back. "Be that as it may, it's the truth." His mouth tightened.

Isobel rounded on him. "And now you've found it? Happiness?"

Matthew's clenched jaw slackened. "Yes. Yes I have."

"It seems all very irresponsible, but it seems you've made up your mind." Isobel's admission tinged with sarcasm.

"I have. It's done. Lavinia has accepted it. We've been in contact through our legal representation and this week we sit down for settlement." Matthew sat forward at the table. He looked his mother in her eyes once again.

She saw that he was calm. His eyes were honest. "I grow more in love with Mary every moment I'm around her. I know it's sudden and I've hurt Lavinia. But it wasn't going to stop. It wasn't going to go away. This is real, Mother. I made the decision to be honest. Lavinia knows me well enough to realize that."

So it was all done. Isobel conceded to the truth of that reality.

But Matthew had one last thing to ask. "Will you do something for me? Would you look in on Lavinia? She doesn't want to talk to me, and I completely understand."

Isobel consented with an affirmative nod.

"Thank you." Matthew was relieved to have at least started this conversation with his mother. It would take some more time for her to finally accept his decision.

But he was not off the hook yet. "What is her name? You've not said." Isobel was ready for the next round.

Matthew cleared his throat. She probably wasn't going to like this either. "Mary. Lady Mary Crawley."

Isobel tilted her head back and her eyes opened wide. "The Grantham family?"

Their names had so often been mixed up for the aristocratic ones, it had become a bit of a joke amongst them. Reggie Crawley would fake a Monty Python-like aristocratic tone and ask one for tea with the Queen.

Matthew admitted it. "Yes from Downton Abbey. While she used to be in real estate with her father, Mary now runs her own business from there. She teaches horse riding while she trains for competition herself."

"And this is the business you help set up?"

"I did. She wants to get back into Olympic training."

Isobel's tone was unmistakable. "And they could not afford to do so on their own finances? How the mighty have fallen."

Matthew rolled his eyes. They were ever on about how useless the aristocracy was in this new 21st century Britain. "I know what we say, but yes. They're in financial difficulties."

They locked eyes again.

Matthew knew what she was thinking. "And no. Mary is not after my money. She insisted we enter the partnership on Downton Stables as equals."

"You are sure about this?" Isobel finally sat down next to him.

He gave a lop sided grin. "I am. I really am. I'd like you to meet her very soon. But not, I think until after the divorce settlement. Probably in a couple of months. Give you some time."

Isobel conceded that would be acceptable. She returned Matthew's half smile, though her mouth was tense.

It was enough for now.

Matthew then changed the subject.

They spent a few more minutes discussing her kitchen renovation plans and Matthew took her to lunch at Fazenda Rodizio, a Brazilian steakhouse located inside Spinningfields.

He then dropped her back at her house, and returned by the motorway to Downton.

Back to Mary.

XX

Mary had finished up with Joshua. He was a good rider, had a good seat. But no confidence. His parents were perfectionists who critiqued his every move even when Mary tried encouraging praise. She had encountered such types all her life. One of her previous coaches was like that.

She did not want to be such a teacher. She wanted to be firm but patient. That was the way to build assurance as a rider.

Mary munched on the French toast Matthew had brought in the insulated container. The coffee was delicious. It was so thoughtful of him to make her a breakfast on the go.

This had to be a dream.

Matthew was everything she had ever looked for in a lover. In a friend. In a person.

He just had to have flaws! Mary laughed to herself. Of course there was the big one. The married one. But who was she to say that? Matthew had been open and honest with his wife. He even had that going for him.

She had not told Henry anything. He still thought Matthew was just a consultant out to make a splash with her family. Well that could not be more wrong. Her father practically hated him on sight.

That may have been a strike against him, except that it seemed to Mary it had nothing to do with Matthew per se, but more what happened between the two men at that rather strained dinner of a month ago.

Well she'd know soon enough all his flaws. He'd probably disappoint in one way or another. But for now, she accepted that she was living in a dream. One she did not want to escape.

Real life was a bitch. It would come back to bite soon enough.

Her next student was arriving so she tucked the last piece of toast in her mouth and moved to get ready. Only two more after and then she and Jerry had some work in the tack room. She glanced at her watch-11am. Wonder how long Matthew would be?

Mary left the office to see if Claire had saddled up Mr. Banks. Maggie was to arrive in a few minutes and she wanted the horse warmed up and ready.

Oh she loved this time of day. In between the students, she could breathe. Take it all in. Realize that it was working. Out in the sun. Her muscles ached sometimes from the exertions of lessons, training, and brushing up after. But it was a good tired. Not the kind she experienced in London. Soulless and useless.

Mary shaded her eyes and caught sight of Maggie walking down the lane from the train station. "It was such a lovely day I decided to walk."

"Don't blame you. If you stow your stuff in the office, we'll get started. I thought we could ride some cross country today."

"Someone's had a good night's sleep then!" Maggie laughed.

Oh how little she knew…Mary's mouth danced into a mischievous smile as she remembered the utter lack of sleep she almost got. Matthew had ruined any and all of her regimen. She seldom drank anymore, yet she slugged down hard Louisiana liquor as it if was water. She never consumed large amounts of sugar, yet the French toast was drowned in syrup. She tried to get a good night sleep so as to be wide awake for the next day's work, yet they dragged themselves upstairs well after 2am last night and made love twice the next morning.

He was going to be the death of her.

And she couldn't wait for more.

XX

Matthew pulled into the space behind Downton once again. He made good time back from Manchester. It was only now going on 3:30pm. Mary must be done by now? He thought, checking his watch.

But no she wasn't. She could still be seen cooling out one of the other horses in the stable yard. She waved.

Matthew waved back. He walked into the kitchen to get a water out of the refrigerator and then returned outside.

He called out, "I'll be in the office, looking over the accounts. Getting myself up to speed. Do you mind?"

She shook her head. "Of course not. Look at the emails I sent for the passwords." She waved and continued working.

Matthew walked inside and pulled up the chair in front of the lap top. She had sent him all kinds of information regarding boarding fees, operational standards, the health and safety regs, risk management and liability, insurance, and tack equipment. He had attempted to absorb it all. She eventually wanted to start a program for special needs children and adults and an equine wellness facility.

They were all big dreams. In addition to her own competitive requirements. Jellybean needed special attention. She would eventually need her own private coach. Mary informed him over dinner months ago now that "if I ever want to reach Olympic level again, I have to train full out in a year or two. I'm fine with getting started slow and building the business first, but not forever. You can go a long time in this sport, I know people in their forties or fifties still in competition but I'd like for it not to take that long."

And they had both laughed. "2020?" Matthew had asked. "or 2024?"

Mary could only curve her eyebrows up in speculation. "Have to see how good I am by then. It's daunting for sure. Tokyo in 2020 might be achievable. But if Paris has them in 2024 that would be just as nice."

"And romantic…" Matthew had added, and then had stumbled as he realized his faux pas. He had no right to say that then.

But he could now. As he slogged through the numbers of bales of hay the horses went through in a week, he thought of Mary. He could hear her and Jerry in the tack room next door, storing the gear and discussing next week's appointments.

Mary walked in.

He looked up from the computer. "The numbers all looked good."

"We have to update the list. We've got four horses stabled now with two more contracted." Mary walked over to stand behind him.

He entered the data change.

"Eight students? Is that correct?"

"Yes. I thought one might have to drop out. But I decided to pay her fees for the next few months." She pointed out the girl in the excel list.

Matthew looked askance at her. "If you want to be competitive you can't do that. You have to be hard at the beginning especially if you want to make profit."

"Like you? Kill or be killed?" Mary blurted out.

He raised his eyes. "You know as well as I that in our business we have to be like that. Others will swoop in like vultures if we're weak."

Mary declared clearly, "and that's why I've gotten out. I want to run things my way."

Matthew squinted with a touch of disapproval, but said nothing. "What about the others? Are they all paid up?"

"You haven't even asked if I found a way to do both." Mary uttered under her breath.

Matthew responded cheekily, "I may need glasses, but my hearing is excellent. Do you have a plan?"

Mary gave a slow grin of satisfaction. "We need some kind of waiver for some students." She leaned down over his shoulder. "If we get a grant I could enroll more students at lower costs."

"And more work for you, meaning possibly another hire as well." He reminded her.

"I'm going to have to do that anyway. I don't think I can keep up all the teaching and do my own work." Mary pointed out. "I have another competition in a fortnight."

"I see." Matthew said. "What about Claire?" Matthew asked as he scrolled through some of the spread sheets on cost estimates.

"She's young and only part time. She's really just learning the business. I need someone I can rely on to be here when I can't. When I'm at a competition." She moved her finger over his on the cursor to show him how much she was paying each employee. "See we can afford it. I can make some adjustments elsewhere."

"Right." He scratched his head. I'm going to have to go over these in greater detail before we make any final decision." He turned his seat towards her. "Are you done for the day?"

"I am." She responded, knowing his thoughts were the same as hers. "Jerry's just gone. We're all alone again."

"Well in that case…" Matthew swung her down into his lap. "I'm calling time on business. It's our time once again."

He reached for her lips. She opened her mouth to him.

"How did it go with your mother?" Mary queried tentatively.

Matthew sat back in the chair. He moved his arm so that Mary fit into his shoulder. They stayed quiet a few minutes.

"It will take her some time." He finally said.

"We'll give her as much time as it takes." Mary knew this would be hard. She would have to be patient and give Isobel space. "I know her approval is very important to you."

Matthew squeezed his arms around Mary's waist. "She's just had a shock. I think she'll come around." He once again changed the subject. "What should we do for dinner? We could find something in the larder I suppose?"

"I need a shower and a change of clothes. Let's go…" And she got up slowly, seductively moving her fingertip along his chin. "We'll decide later."

"Whatever you command…" He answered equally flirtatiously.

They made their way quickly upstairs. This time they made it to her bed.

Mary's groan of pleasure ripped from her mouth as soon as his eager hands undressed her. Matthew unbuttoned her shirt and undid the belt to her riding breeches. He could get much mad satisfaction just feeling the form fitting material give way to his touch. She had already kicked off her boots. As soon as her bra came off, he pushed his face up against the space in between her breasts and slowly began squeeze her nipples erect. Mary shucked his jeans off and just feeling the length of his shaft, groaned again and put him inside her. Her mind spun helpless with desire as he took her and thrust hard.

Mary arched her face to meet his. Their lips met in a crashing, burning kiss. His forearms came down on either side taking his weight off of her. Their tongues entangled in rhythmic love making. Matthew opened his eyes to find Mary's pupils dilated and open wide as well.

They stared hard as his thrusting grew more and more possessive. Her body jerked and shuddered beneath him. She gave a ragged, helpless cry into his mouth, "Matthew, keep going…." And then she pierced the air with a delicious scream of pleasure as the point of no return claimed her and sensations of bliss filled her body.

Matthew was hot and sweaty. Her body engulfed and overwhelmed him with its slickness and heat. His arousal was deep inside. Her nails dug into his shoulders as he thrust harder and she came with the abandon he sought to evoke. His own climax over came him. Shattering and cascading, he pushed himself to the brink and then he shook as the peak insanely exploded and he lost all sense of control.

He fell beside her. "God help me, I could do that all day."

Mary smirked slyly. "That would be tiring indeed."

"But nice..." He sat up beside her, stroking the curvature of her waist.

"Oh...very nice." She gave him a slow kiss, her tongue lingering inside.

They caught their breath and Mary made ready to finally take that shower. "Coming?" She asked, rising off the bed and moving towards the bathroom.

"Absolutely." Matthew declared, following her inviting backside into the shower.

XX

Matthew yawned rather indelicately. He tried to stifle it but couldn't.

"Tired?" Mary grinned, taking another sip of her water. One night of drunken revelry was all she was to give herself.

"A bit." He conceded. "We were up with the birds this morning." He joked back, taking a sip of mineral water. "Back to the regimen?"

"Tomorrow we run." Mary was firm about returning to her schedule. "I have to be fighting fit for the York Cup."

"I know." He said, idly running his fingers atop her hand. "I'll be ready."

He pushed the last bit of pasta into his mouth. "Shall we get back.?" He pulled back his seat and rose to help her up. They had already paid the bill.

They had walked to a local restaurant in Downton Village and proceeded to return hand in hand back to the Abbey.

His lips grazed her knuckles as the evening turned dark and the half moon rose in the clear night sky. She leaned closer to his body.

One more night gone in their week end alone. They had only tomorrow morning before the world broke in and they returned to real life.

Mary undid the alarm and they walked inside. Up the stairs and to bed after some ablutions in the bathroom. Mary groaned delightfully as she pulled the light duvet around her. "I am ready for a good night's sleep." She reached out to him. "Come here."

Matthew gazed lovingly at her. His pupils dark, rimmed in cerulean blue. Then wordlessly he pulled back the covers and joined her.

They slept deeply.

But right before dawn, just as the first flickers of light met the horizon, Matthew awoke. He yawned, tossed side to side trying not to disturb Mary's slumber.

Finally he got up and and padded towards the bathroom. He put on his boxer briefs and jogger bottoms.

He settled into the window seat, noting the angle of light striking the bed was just perfect. He grabbed the drawing book out of his case. He had bought a new blank one at a shop while waiting for Mary on Friday.

Mary was asleep on her side, the duvet had fallen leaving only a sheet half covering her naked form. Her eyes closed, an arm placed alongside her, the other on the pillow. Matthew could see the sheet clinging to her body, shaping it almost into a work of sculpture.

A work of delicate beauty.

He lifted his pencil and began to sketch.

XX

 _So the cold light of day starts tomorrow..._

 _Reviews and observations are like water to a parched soul. Thanks so much._


	14. Ch 14: Tomorrow Comes a Bit too Soon

_Blame Hurricane Matthew for the delay... I certainly am for ruining my trip plans to New York Comic Con._..😏

XX

"How are you not even breathing hard?" Mary stopped for a minute. They had been going full out for over five miles completing the circuit and coming up on the gravel drive behind the Abbey. Mary had just managed to run that distance without wishing to collapse in a heap on the ground very recently. She thought she had been fit before hiring Geoff and that it would be easy to get back into habit of strength training. But he soon put her right. Doing yoga and an aerobic workout was just not the same. He had upped her regime to add even more cardio-respiratory in order to build endurance.

"You don't seem so out of breath." Matthew observed as he jogged ahead and then turned around, running in place.

"But I feel it." Mary replied, stretching to remove a kink from her neck. "I'm just now getting to where it doesn't burn. But that has taken months. You already have a cross fit regime?"

Matthew came over and massaged her shoulder. She moaned most pleasurably at his ministrations.

"Nothing organized. More of my own devising." He said, as he took the opportunity to slip a kiss along her cheek. "I told you I rowed right?"

Mary, getting of inkling of where he was going, replied, "Yes. So you incorporate that." What she did not say what that explained his ultra-lean low body fat torso she admired most of the night. His ripped muscles were tight but not overly done like someone who lifted weights.

"I must say I approve." And she slipped her arms around his waist. They kissed.

Matthew tilted his head slightly and pursed his lips in agreement. "I row in London when I can, along the river. I'm a member of a rowing club. I also have … er…" He paused awkwardly, "… had a rowing machine at the house. It's in storage now."

Mary understood the awkwardness of his temporary living arrangements.

"Mostly I just use the ones at the gym. Give it a good couple hours. That and swimming. Sometimes I run."

They started to jog alongside each other back towards the house. "Were you any good?" Mary asked, curious about his sporting achievements. "Any Olympic expectations yourself?"

Matthew demurred. "No, that never really came into the equation for me. I was very competitive at uni. I rowed for Oxford in the Boat Race."

"The one with Cambridge?" Mary knew of it of course. "I went with some friends to cheer them on at Chiswick Bridge. When did you race?"

He glanced at her through slitted eyes. "I won't ask for what side you cheered. I raced in 2002 and 2003."

Mary was more than curious now. "Did you win? I'm sorry I don't remember…."

Matthew smirked mischievously. "Of course we did. We won in '03 by only a foot. The closest ever."

"So you do get it." Mary was excited to learn this about Matthew. "The competitive drive."

But for a reason she did not quite understand Matthew's expression grew dark.

"Is that what drew you to Henry?" Matthew asked, a sudden shiver traveled up his spine.

His words stopped her cold.

"I…" She was caught short by his observation. "I would say it was a part of it. He was a rally car driver. It was exciting."

"Until he stopped." Matthew's words coolly observed, if barely spoken.

"I…" She didn't quite know how to answer him. "Perhaps." She finally admitted.

Matthew gave her a hard stare.

Mary blurted out. "It's nothing to do with you."

Matthew made an effort to agree. "Of course not." But he changed the subject. "Let's just finish this out, shall we? I'm famished. After we shower, let's get some breakfast on our way back to London."

He walked ahead to open the door for her.

Mary's eyes closed as she hesitated just a couple seconds longer, then followed him inside.

Matthew's look was not one of jealousy, which she might have expected, but cold fear. It swept his face for only a second for he hid it again under a mask of disinterest. But it was there. And she didn't want to live like that again. With masks and facades and pretending to care. Or not to care.

With Matthew she felt free. And he felt the same.

She was sure of it.

They had been on the brink of something so wonderful, and was her hesitation with the truth with Henry threatening to ruin it?

Matthew had already gone upstairs to shower so Mary put on the coffee machine to make them some for the drive back to London. She had asked Matthew to drive her back in the Porsche as she had promised her father she'd help with interviews for her permanent replacement but wanted to leave her car here at Downton.

The machine groaned into action and she was about to see if there were any sandwiches in the refrigerator left by Mrs. Patmore, when she heard the side French door in the adjoining room open.

And a voice she knew all too well rang out. "Hullo!?"

Henry.

Fuck! Henry was here…Mary's eyes ballooned. Henry was walking into the house.

Why hadn't she secured the lock? What the hell…

"Henry," Mary attempted a cool answer even as she scurried over to the hallway out into the main saloon to see if there was any sight of Matthew.

Oh God. He was still upstairs.

"Where are you?" Henry's voice was getting closer.

She rushed back into the kitchen. "I'm just in the pantry." Mary's hands tossed Matthew's thermos behind her own. As if that would help, she thought. She shot a glance around to see if there were any other incriminating items that indicated she was not alone.

She then stood casually by the kitchen island.

Henry walked in. "I was in the area and thought you'd be here since I rang the flat and you didn't answer. You can be so off the grid when riding so I've stopped bothering texting you…" Henry's tall frame took up most of the doorway.

"Well I would have liked some forewarning anyway." She hastily replied, snapping her head around to greet him.

He walked up behind her. "Then it wouldn't have been a surprise…" And he tried to kiss her neck.

She stiffened instead.

Henry gave a sour look. "Mary what have I done now?"

But before she could dream up a reason for her erratic behaviour, another male voice drifted in from the distance of the hallway.

"Mary …" Matthew asked. "What time did you want to leave for…" But he never finished the sentence as he spotted Henry in the other doorway. "Oh…"

If it had been anyone else Mary would probably have laughed at the comedic potential of it all. Matthew was barefoot, dressed only in his blue jeans and wiping a towel through his still wet locks of blond hair. If it was any other time than this, she also realized, she'd have jumped him right then and there.

Instead they stood like some amateur tableau, staring blankly in each other's direction.

Matthew's hand dropped from his head. "I didn't hear any car pull up." He glanced nervously over at Mary.

"No, no you wouldn't old chap." Henry came back bitterly. "I took the train and walked. Sorry not to have been more considerate and made some noise so you could scurry down the drain pipe or something."

Matthew bit back his first reply, a rather vulgar one. He chose instead to ignore it completely and made a move towards Mary.

She raised her eyes ever so briefly in his direction to veer him off. He saw it and remained where he was in the hall to the saloon.

Henry, it turned out was just getting started. "So this is cosy. I see now why you keep stalling, Mary or will you tell me this is not what I think it is?"

Matthew again moved instinctively to be at Mary's side. "I think you know exactly what this is."

Henry's turned his bile filled rage towards Matthew. Which was what Matthew wanted. "And what I see is a married man having a rather sordid week end with someone else's fiancée."

Mary snorted in outrage. "How dare you!" And now she was ready for what was to come. A preternatural calm overcame her.

Henry was in it as well. But he was continuing to bait Matthew. "Watch out or you will just be another in the long list of hearts broken by the heartless Mary Crawley."

Matthew couldn't let that go by. "Says a man who doesn't understand the woman he supposedly loves."

Mary had enough. She'd take on Henry and have it be done. Let battle commence.

She turned first to Matthew, saying matter of factly. "Go without me Matthew. I'll drive my car after all. I can handle this."

Matthew's blue eyes flashed but he understood the message. This was her fight. Just as his with Lavinia was done in private.

He walked over to her and, despite Henry's judgmental glances, whispered in her ear. "I will text you the security code to my flat if you want a place to stay." She met his concerned eyes. "Thank you," she mouthed back.

Matthew whispered one more thing, "I will await your answer," and he walked back down the hall to go upstairs, pack, and make a hasty exit.

Mary narrowed her eyes as Matthew left. What did he mean by that? It sounded more serious than just an agreement to meet her later?

XX

Mary did not have time to contemplate any more for Henry strode around the kitchen with a vengeance.

"Are you trying to humiliate me with this display?" He spun on his heels to look at her.

Mary cut back, "You are the one who came in unannounced."

"I came to see my girlfriend…"

"Oh I thought I had jumped the queue to fiancée?" Her mocking tone unmistakable.

"I have asked you…" Henry reminded her.

"And I've not answered." She equally rejoined.

"I think you've just given it to me." Henry matched her derision.

"You can say it was a lucky escape." Mary snapped.

"Don't worry I will." The cut meant to hurt.

Mary put her hand up to her forehead. She was already wanting this to be over. So she relented. "I didn't mean for you to find out this way." She knew she was in the wrong. Why did Henry always make her want to fight rather than talk?

Henry wasn't quite ready to give in.

"Oh no? Should I thank you then? Were you going to come back to London and have me on a bit more? Or string both of us along? Leave us both in your wake as you find new conquests?"

Mary responded through tight lips. "How can you say such things and then want to marry me?"

"I thought I could reform you." Henry spat out. He was just not used to women refusing his charms.

Mary's eyes narrowed to slits. "As if…"

"I thought we would eventually work as a team."

"How can it Henry? You want to change me into something I'm not.'"

"And you didn't want to do the same?"

Mary had no response. She probably did.

Henry suggested in his most persuasive voice, "I thought we got on like gangbusters in the beginning. Why can't we give it another try? I'll forgive this indiscretion."

Mary stiffened her posture. She tried to take that in the spirit in which it was intended by Henry, rather than as the most contemptuous piece of self-congratulatory garbage she had ever heard.

"I don't need you to forgive me Henry. I know I've done you a wrong in not telling you sooner. But it's over." She replied smoothly.

"I just don't know what I did wrong? What do I have to do to win you back?" Henry was at a loss.

"That's just it Henry. I'm not an object to be won or lost. I'm not a trophy. I get to make my own decisions." Mary was done with Henry. This latest display of male ego was the last straw.

"He's married." Henry hissed. "He won't leave his wife for you. You're making a fool of yourself."

Mary did not need to explain anything to Henry about Matthew's home life. That was private between them. But she had to make one thing clear.

She made it in plain language "I have chosen Henry. Please don't let things between us descend into insults. Matthew and I intend to be together. I hope you'll find someone who deserves you more than I did."

"I loved you." Henry saved face, "I see now more than you ever could love me. I'm better off without you. I'll be off to London to clear out of the house. I'll be gone by morning."

Henry didn't like to lose. She knew that. Mary would let him have the last word.

XX

Matthew left the motorway to refuel. Stopping nearby at a tea shop, he ordered instead a strong pot of coffee and some scones.

Missing that Mary was not with him, he whiled the time away finally turning his mobile back on. He had never in his memory ever turned it off for an entire week end. But he did at Downton.

What did that say about him? He wasn't sure he wanted to plumb the depths of that. He was coming to the rather overwhelmed conclusion he had been lying to himself.

About why he left Lavinia.

He had said he did it for her. That Lavinia deserved better.

But he knew now, in the depths of his guilt ridden gut, that Tom was right. He had done it for Mary.

Turning away from those thoughts until they could talk later, Matthew scrolled through at least a hundred stored messages and emails.

Mika messaged at least ten times that he was needed in London to go over some figures for the Woolgate property. He hastily responded that he was on his way back now and finish up the spreadsheets and send them to her immediately upon completion. He also confirmed his meeting with Crabtree for Tuesday morning.

Mika was a real find, Matthew knew. She had that sixth sense every good business entrepreneur had and he and Tom were lucky to woo her to their relatively small firm. She had wanted a challenge where her talents would be rewarded. They needed a go-getter to remind them of why they got in this business in the first place.

She kept their edge. And brought in big clients in new markets. Mika texted a question asking if she was needed in the office to help as she was with the young one and had no sitter. Matthew said no, he'd be fine on his own.

After gulping the rest of his coffee and scooping the scones in a box for the return journey, he eased back onto the motorway. He'd make it back to London in a couple hours and go immediately to his office to get back up to speed.

And keep his mind on other matters.

It being Sunday, the car lot was empty. He pulled easily into his reserved space and clicked his car locked. The security guard nodded as Matthew made his way to the lift.

The office was empty as he expected. Tom had mentioned he'd be away in Dublin for the week pursuing a deal with some developers so he could get to the accounts and then just go back to his flat to await Mary's arrival.

It was the kind of quiet he loved at work. He could concentrate without the distractions of office drama or last minute client interruptions.

One last voice mail on his office phone from the travel agent reminded him that was to fly out in two months to Las Vegas. He groaned as he recalled being persuaded by his client Michael Morton to take part in conducting seminars at an American real estate conference on UK investment opportunities. Lavinia had made it clear she didn't want to go, saying it was in the middle of the school term but she'd understand if he had to go. She had that resigned look on her face he'd come to know far too well.

Looking back on that conversation now he knew things weren't right between them even then. They were going through the motions of a marriage. He put off any attempt on her part to navigate through their differences until she no longer tried.

He pulled his fingers through his hair and sighed heavily. It was all water under the bridge now. His onlt wish now, even if it was completely and speciously motivated to assuage his guilt, was that she find true happiness outside the bounds of a marriage that could only cause her more pain.

He finished up around 7pm and left CB Properties. He walked the short way to his flat, leaving the Porsche in the lot at work and put some files in the makeshift office he made out of the second bedroom. Mary had texted that she had left Downton later than she wanted, a crisis in the stable requiring a visit from the local vet. But everything was fine now with the boarded horse and the owners contacted to navigate care and settle the bill. She would be in London by 11pm and would meet him at his flat. He had texted back that he would be there. So he ate a meal at a local restaurant around corner from the Mall and returned to the rented walk up he had been living in for almost the past month.

It still gave every appearance of temp lodgings. The flat had minimal furnishings and Matthew had added nothing other than some personal and kitchen items. He had spent an afternoon a few weeks ago while Lavinia had been at a conference to clear out his stuff from the house they had shared. Hiring a small lorry to take mostly his clothes and work related electronics and some books he had since uni. He took the rowing machine and his spare pair of scull blades for his Janousek Single 90+KG that he kept housed in a London boathouse.

Everything else he left. It had been, perhaps in hindsight, a rash and guilt ridden decision. His lawyer had reminded him that usually these things were split fifty/fifty and he was giving too much away. He didn't care. Lavinia could have all of it or chuck it out. He would leave all of it to her.

They had already conducted a preliminary settlement meeting between all parties. With the sole exclusion of his business, he was willing to give everything else away. As odd as that may sound to his legal team, it got even more strange when he agreed to waive all rights to Reggie Swire's shares in the company and he even arranged with Lavinia to help her find a CEO to replace himself in that position and allow her to keep all profits from the shares of the stock to the new chief. That way she would profit considerably while having no more requisite position in Swire Inc.

Lavinia, through her lawyer, had agreed. Neither husband nor wife had spoken directly to each other since his last day in the house. The finalization of the divorce would happen within the next six to twelve weeks depending upon when Matthew made his final decisions regarding the CEO position and the lawyers completed all the paperwork.

It was around 10pm by the time he had showered and changed again. Just to give himself something to do while waiting Mary's arrival. He couldn't help but remember Henry's mouth crestfallen and agape when he appeared in the doorway opposite that morning at Downton. It had not been anything he intended. Finishing his shower, he tried calling down the stairs but Mary had not heard him. So he thought he'd just pop his head into the kitchen to ask her about the time she needed to be back in London, and had not even thought of the fact he had not finished dressing.

Henry did though. Notice…

And the look was priceless. A hint of a smile crossed Matthew's lips.

Then the knock on his door interrupted the memory. Mary had arrived.

He crossed over and opened the door.

She looked done in.

"Mary, darling." Matthew's soothing voice was music to her weary ears. They fell into each other's arms.

He led her inside. "I've put a kettle on or we could still go out to eat if you're famished?"

"No." She put her keys down and kicked off her shoes. "A cuppa sounds delicious."

They walked into the small kitchen. Matthew brought out two mugs from the cupboard.

He paused in mid stride. "Was it bloody awful?" He enquired gently. "I really didn't want to leave you there but I understood you wanting to handle it in private."

Mary came up behind him, enveloping her body around his; her arms curving around his waist to encase him and her as one. Matthew's fingers wove and twisted inside of hers. Her head rested on his spinal column.

"Thank you for understanding." They took in the moment that it was over. The worst was over.

Now they just had to make their commitment work. Make it worth the fight. The pain.

Matthew rotated around to embrace Mary and put her head into his shoulder. She rested there, safe and happy.

"Is it awful, Matthew," Mary admitted, "to say I just wanted it to be over? I felt nothing other than a slight irritation that he just didn't see what was in front of his face."

"Oh darling." Matthew's arms squeezed her tight. "No. If that's how you felt, then you can be sure you made the right decision."

She released his grip to see his eyes. Surprisingly they were troubled. They blue hidden by dark irises, his lids hooded.

"What?" Mary wanted to know he had no doubts either. "Are you second guessing what we've done?" She felt a shiver of fear. The same one he must have felt earlier that she did not understand. Was that why?

"Oh God Mary. No… No that's not what I'm feeling." Matthew's voice was trembling. The emotions overwhelming him. "I realized today, when we parted and I had that long drive back to London alone, that I was lying to myself when I said I left Lavinia because it was unfair for her to be in a relationship with someone no longer in the same place as she. I told Tom that it had nothing to do with the outcome between us."

"And now?" Mary needed to hear this.

"Now…" He kissed her cheek, his lips caressing, tickling her skin. "Now I know I would have been devastated to go on without you in my life. I don't want to overwhelm you with too much pressure on what I know is a very much a beginning for us, but I can't see my future any more without you. I love you so much. I feel it in my bones. You are now a part of me."

Mary kissed him fiercely. With all the love, the passion unspent in past relationships. With all the hope for this new, fragile one they've created.

"We'll make it work, Matthew," She responded passionately. "I feel the same. "Their arms enfolded tight around each other.

The kettle's high pitched whistle interrupted the moment. Matthew smiled, and turned around to turn off the burner.

Mary said, "I don't think I should stay here tonight though."

Matthew twisted his head as he was steeping the tea bags in the mugs. "Oh?"

"I don't want to give the wrong impression. You know, in Downton we were quite alone. Here in London …"

She didn't have to finish the thought.

"Lavinia has friends or acquaintances that might get back to her that we're living together." Matthew kissed her brow, he understood.

"I'll stay with Edith for tonight. I don't think it will take Henry more than a day or two to move his stuff." She stifled a yawn.

"Go out into the living area. I'll bring the tea."

She nodded and left the room.

Matthew finished with the tea, sugar, lemon, and milk unsure what Mary wanted so he put all of it on a tray.

When he finished he walked into through the doorway.

Mary was asleep on the sofa, her legs curled up beside her.

Matthew smiled again and placing the tray down on the long coffee table, got a throw blanket from back of the sofa and put it around her. She cuddled against the pillow and burrowed her head against its softness.

She looked so peaceful, so beautiful he did not want to disturb her slumber.

He sat down with his own mug of tea.

Mary's droopy eyes blinked open. She contemplated him just sitting and looking at her. A rather silly, yet completely endearing smile upon his face.

"I texted Edith your address. She'll be over to fetch me." She murmered, still half asleep.

"I'll listen out for her. You stay there and rest" He leaned over to kiss her. "So she knows about us?" Matthew cautiously asked.

"She will now." Mary revealed. "She suspected my interest in you was not purely professional." She cocked a mischievous eyebrow.

They both had to acknowledge the obvious truth of that.

"She's getting married in two weeks. But even if she knows, I don't think it's the right time to tell the rest of the family." Mary didn't know any other way to say that she couldn't invite Mathew to the wedding.

"I wouldn't want to distract from her day of course. And as you say, I'm still very much in the middle of these divorce proceedings." Matthew was being judicious in his understanding even if it hurt to realize they still had so much ahead of them. "I know Robert thinks I'm some sort of villian."

Mary was still confused on that. "He'll come around. Just not yet I think. He's taken very much against you."

Who was he fooling? Matthew knew that answer. He was fooling himself that the worst was behind them. If he was ever to be a true part of Mary's life, he and Robert must settle the air between them. He just wasn't sure how to do that without revealing secrets that could potentially destroy the very happiness he sought to build in Mary's life.

Those sobering thoughts weighed heavily on his mind as he awaited the arrival of Mary's sister. He'd so rather have stayed buried under mounds of sheets and blankets in Mary's bed at Downton, wrapped in a cocoon of love, oblivious to the world.

The cold light of day sucked.

XX

 _Thanks for reading. It's only going to get more complicated as secrets and surprises are revealed in the next few chapters. Reviews are bliss!_


	15. Chapter 15: Long Days Apart

XX

"Mary!" Edith's relieved sigh met her sister as she entered the dressing room at the church. "Finally!"

Mary strolled over gracefully and grazed her sister's cheek with a kiss. "I told you I'd be here." She was fingering the earring that stubbornly refused to hook. "We had to wait for the vet for Mr. Banks' checkup." Mary left Jerry to finish things when Dr. Cooper signed off on the health and safety document. The past weeks had been a whirlwind of various officials in and out of Downton Stables for their quarterly inspections.

"I've got my dress on," Mary swirled the hem, "and my wrap is inside my bag." And she pulled out the silk pashmina shawl. She and Sybil wore matching bridesmaid dresses and wraps.

Edith scrutinized her face. "Your eye liner is a bit off. Sit down."

"Oh really." Mary huffed slightly as she scrunched down to the mirror to take a look.

"I want perfection." Edith was insistent. "You are a reflection of the bride." She mimicked the bridal magazine articles the three sisters had chuckled over as they made lemongrass ginger martinis and sangria floras the night before at the small hen night Edith had wanted.

The evening ended up in a far more serious discussion than they initially intended.

Sybil had protested the quiet night in, saying "When I get married it's going to be a gigantic booze up good bye to the best days of my life." And then picking up another martini, "I don't think I'll marry at all."

"You don't know what you're saying" Edith smiled indulgently. "I feel quite the opposite. Bertie makes me happier than I ever thought possible. And he's comfortable with me traveling all around the world while he keeps the home fires burning."

"It helps he's the Marquess of Hexham with a vast estate in Northumberland to idle his time." Sybil guffawed.

"He is fully involved in the running the business end of the estate, making it a success where so many others have failed." Edith observed, meeting Mary's eyes from across the room.

"Is that a snipe at Papa?" Sybil questioned. "I know he's got no head for business. We never thought he had. But is something else wrong?" She leaned forward, her brown eyes turning concerned.

Mary hesitated. "He's been very agitated recently. When I came back to help secure my permanent replacement, he kept demanding cuts in perks and benefits to the new vice president. That retrenching was needed. I told him that may be the case, but if he wanted the best public relations manager he'd have to do better than that. He nearly took my head off, spouting that if I had never left in the first place, he wouldn't have to do anything."

"Is it just the business you think?" Edith reached out to take one of the cheese and cracker nibbles spread out on the coffee table in Mary's town house.

"What do you mean?" Mary was curious. It had not occurred to her there was more to her father's ire than his money woes. From what Matthew had disclosed, and it had not been much since his confession at the party where they had spoken in the privacy of her office, Robert had been skimming money from Grantham Ltd for reasons that had gone mysteriously unsolved.

At least to her knowledge. She had the feeling Matthew was hiding something. Hiding behind the confidentiality of adviser to a client. She had assumed her father had made some kind of bad investments and tried to hide it and then it just continued to plummet out of control.

Their papa was a dear man, but money was never his strong bent. Of course it was nothing new for aristocrats to be in debt. But their grandfather had done a grand job in the 50s and 60s in the post war period to resurge the Grantham finances.

Her father has spent most of his life doing the opposite. He had been resistant to any number of technological changes the new world of business and social media required. He had the old client list and he stubbornly refused to expand much beyond the original geographical limits his father had set in place.

The result was that even in the best of years, Grantham barely tread water.

And these weren't the best of years for real estate. At least not for the commercial and residential properties that was the bulk of their business. He had become even more risk averse of late, refusing to engage in any kind of investment in debt securities or involvement in the equity markets. She knew Matthew's company had taken calculated risks in equity investments and won large rewards in return.

Something her father was hopeless in achieving. He had no sense of the market, relying on age old strategies that were now coming back to bite them. She knew Grantham was creaking in the rafters, but lately it seemed an air of impending doom had settled in amongst the employees at the old Exchange Building address.

"Papa seems very distant lately. As if his mind were elsewhere," Edith elaborated. "I went to speak to him about some wedding cost overruns and he groaned and mumbled something about nothing ever being done on the cheap." She shook her head, "It wasn't as if I was asking for the moon, it was just the catering bill."

"I'm sure it'll blow over." Mary tried to refrain from too much speculation. "I'll talk to him once the wedding is over and things get a bit back to normal."

Edith raised an eyebrow at that. "Are they 'getting back to normal?'"

Mary imperceptibly shook her head as Sybil leaned forward, already on the scent of a secret not divulged to her.

"What are you two going on about?" Sybil demanded. "Is it what I think?"

Mary sighed in resignation. "Probably," she said wryly turning to her sister. "I've broken up with Henry. He moved out last week."

"And …." Sybil took a slow sip of her sangria as she settled in for some good sisterly gossip.

Mary's eyes became slits as she answered coolly, "I'm taking some time for myself."

"Oh come on…" Sybil would have none of that. "You are sleeping with Matthew aren't you. You are always in a better mood when you've had good sex. Has he left his wife for you?" Sybil had been on another surgical rotation at the hospital and out of contact. "Are you going to live together?"

Mary knew this would happen. Sybil was way too perceptive sometimes for Mary's taste. "I…" and she truly hated being caught off guard. "I don't know exactly what the future holds right now."

"Mary sometimes you are too private for your own good!" Sybil exclaimed. "We're here for you. I never thought you and Henry were end game anyway."

"How can you say that? You were ever on Henry's side?" Mary pointed out.

"Only in the sense that you were stringing him along. You were both too shallow in your feelings. I could see immediately though that you had it bad for Matthew. Just that one dinner it was obvious, the eye fucking you two were giving each other across the room. Everyone noticed."

That pained Mary more than Sybil expected. For Lavinia had been there that evening. And the last thing she wanted was to flaunt any kind of sexual interest in another woman's husband. Had she done that?

"I don't know that everyone noticed and I'm not proud of that if it's the case." Mary acknowledged honestly. "It's not the greatest basis for long term success in any relationship."

"Do you want the long term?" Sybil pressed directly.

Both sisters anticipated Mary's answer. But she didn't rush.

She gave it a long consideration. Then first a confession. "We spent a week end together about a fortnight ago. After the York Riding Show he was waiting for me in the back stable yard. He told me he has left his wife and was getting a divorce. Confessed he loved me and wanted to know if I'd be willing to give our relationship a chance."

Edith and Sybil exchanged meaningful glances.

"What?" Mary was confused. "It's what happened. We went back to Downton and ummm...he stayed until Sunday afternoon."

"Just that he sounds almost too good to be true!" Sybil reckoned. "I know Tom can't stop praising his business acumen but that Matthew actually didn't even consider an affair. I mean most men would seemingly want their cake and eat it too."

"Wait...you told me on the way here when I picked you up that Sunday night at his London flat that it was all a bit of a mess. So I wasn't sure what really happened with his wife." Edith interjected.

"Oh no." Mary exclaimed. "I didn't mean to leave you with that impression. I was dead to the world that night because Henry arrived at Downton unexpectedly that morning. We got into a row that ended with him moving out."

Sybil choked on her drink at that divulgence. "While Matthew was still there?!"

Mary said dryly, "not only still there but shirtless and rubbing a towel through shower wet hair just as Henry arrived on the scene. Like the Greek god Adonis straight from Mt. Olympus. Henry was not amused."

Sybil collapsed into Edith and the two started to giggle uncontrollably.

"I can see why he didn't put up much of a protest and decided the jig was up." Sybil finally recovered enough to say.

Edith looked at Mary. "You 're thinking what if the shoe was on the other foot and it was Matthew's wife rather than Henry?"

"The thought crossed my mind later." Mary admitted. "It wouldn't have been so funny."

"But you have to say that as it was it has its humorous elements." Sybil was still wiping tears from her eyes. I'd have killed to be a fly on the wall and seen all of your faces."

"None of this, however, takes away from fact I barely know him really. What was his favorite childhood pet? Does he want to live in London which is a no go for me. How about children? Are we just making the same mistakes that has left us with all this baggage from past failures?" She cupped her chin in her hands. "I am incredibly attracted to him, that's true. But is it enough?"

"You don't want to make the same mistake again?" Edith offered. "Do you think you are?"

"He's rich." Sybil cynically pointed out, just to push Mary's buttons. "You like that. Henry was exciting but he wasn't rolling in the dosh."

Mary refused to rise to Sybil's bait other than to scoff, "Oh really Syb. I hope I've moved beyond such selfish whims. I have my own goals, my own business now. There are all sorts of considerations. I'm not even sure I should be getting involved with anyone right now."

"You're going to let him go?" Sybil blurted out.

"Are you serious?" Edith added.

"What is it to you two?" Mary was astonished at their reaction. "It's my life."

"And it's about time you got it in hand." Edith declared. "From the little I saw of you and Mathew together when I picked you up at his flat he looked like he'd move the Earth for you. He was so attentive."

"And you'd do the same." Sybil chimed in confidently. "The fact that you're giving it such reflection indicates how much you care. We all know you don't give your heart easily. Do you love him?"

Mary eased into the back of the sofa. She smiled contemplatively, "Yes I do." Her eyes danced as she spoke the truth. "I really really do."

"Then there's your answer." Edith concluded.

"But is it as easy as that?" Mary doubts crept back in.

Sybil groaned. "For God's sake, Mary! You've got to stop worrying. They don't come around like busses you know. So shut up, drink up, and go for it." She flung out her glass for a toast.

Edith did the same.

Mary lifted herself up from the cushions of the sofa and held out her glass, saying gamely "Go for it!"

"Go for it!" They all said together and drank down the last of the sangrias.

The next day had seen Mary working in the morning and then the arrival at the church.

Edith brushed the eye liner carefully. "I hope Sybil and I didn't press you too much last night. Maybe the sangrias went to our heads. You can do whatever you want of course."

Mary gripped Edith's hand. "Thank you for that. But I think you kicked me in the seat of the pants for all the right reasons."

"He didn't come today though?" Edith stood back to examine her facial handiwork.

"No. But that has nothing to do with us. More consideration for you," and Mary squeezed her sister's hand again. "He didn't want to become a distraction especially as Papa still has taken against him."

"I look forward to meeting him and getting to know him. Anyone who makes you this happy must be someone very special."

Mary blushed. "It's all so sudden. So unlike me. But it does feel so good. But it's not my day. It's yours! To think if we had kept up our bickering I might not be here. I'm so very very happy for you Edith."

And the two women hugged and got on with the finishing up of affixing Edith's veil.

XX

The wedding had been a success and Mary was back at Downton. She and everyone else had seen Edith and Bertie off on a honeymoon to the Caribbean.

She spent the following weeks with various officials getting her licensed and certified in all the fields required by her ownership of a working stable.

She was eager to get back on Jellybean and give her a good run. Feeling cooped up all day in the church and later at Downton for the made her lethargic and in need of exercise.

The fresh air felt wonderful. Later that day she was expecting to meet the woman she hoped would accept the position of becoming Mary's personal coach. Anna Smith had a reputation as being hard but fair with those she chose to accept position as riding coach. As a gold and silver Olympic winner, Smith had successfully transitioned to training the next generations of British riders. She had to retire early from her own career as her horse had thrown her and she suffered serious rib fractures and a broken femur.

Mary had fidgeted about the office awaiting Anna's arrival to discuss the possibility of taking up Mary's desire to have Anna be her private coach. If she was to succeed in reasserting herself into competitive riding she needed someone of Smith's standing and repute.

The ball was very much in Anna Smith's court. As she often quoted "it's the coach that does the asking." She would talk with Mary and examine Jellybean. And if she liked what she saw, if she saw potential, she'd take Mary on.

Mary needed the rigour, the focus that Anna brought to her athletes. She had seen them compete when she went with friends the year before to the Dublin Horse Trials.

She wanted Anna Smith to see that in her.

Not being able to wait any longer without having something of a nervous breakdown, Mary took Jellybean out for a run.

The wind.

She lifted herself out of the saddle, pressing her boots into the stirrups. Soft "tcks" "tcks" and Jellybean responded to her soft kicks on the flanks and sped up to a canter.

Jellybean loved to canter. The loping pace allowed both to feel the joy of the ride. Mary never felt more at peace with the universe than when she was riding. Her heart beat with Jellybean's rhythm.

They were one.

The ride gave her the courage to meet Anna Smith.

She was rubbing the Bean down when she heard the car pull up. She continued the brush down. It was good that Anna saw her as she meant to go on. Taking care of her horse. Dedicated to her sport.

That was good? Right? Mary pondered this as the footfalls got closer.

"I'm in here." She called out, hopefully not sounding too eager.

Anna walked inside the barn. Mary turned to meet her, a smile of complete joy sneaking across her face.

Her future beckoned.

XX

Matthew had just arrived back at his office after spending most of the day at Swire Inc vetting potential CEOs as he had promised Lavinia. He had, after weeks of analysis and interviews alongside other board members, narrowed the candidates to four. They were to be given longer interviews and their backgrounds thoroughly checked.

It had been over six weeks since his week end with Mary. They barely saw each other in the interim as she was busy at Downton with the Stables.

He missed her something terrible but knew this time apart was necessary. In a week he flew out to Las Vegas and there was so much to do before that trip. Including finalization of his divorce. His mind rebelled at all he had on the agenda.

His mobile chimed and he cheered immediately when he saw Mary's picture on his contacts light up.

They spoke quietly for several minutes when he looked up at the sound of the door knock.

"Yes?" He asked as Cyn poked her head inside.

Mary said she'd ring off as she knew he was busy. They'd talk later he promised.

Matthew set his mobile back on the desk and looked again at his assistant.

"The Earl of Grantham is here to see you. He doesn't have an appointment but says he knows you."

Matthew groaned and shoved his fingers in his eyes.

XX  
Mary was crushed. "I see…." But her words faultered.

Anna's warm brown eyes were sympathetic. "It has nothing to do with your abilities, please believe me. I'm thrilled you're back in the game. You are the future. I just don't have the time right now in my schedule for a new athlete."

The two women were standing outside Mary's office. Anna had stowed her gear back inside the Rover and was making ready to leave.

Mary bit the side of her mouth, her response curt. "I understand."

"I had a marvelous time today." Anna said. In addition to looking around the facility and examining Jellybean, Anna and Mary had ridden down to the stream that adjoined the Downton estate with the neighbouring one.

"We'll keep in touch." Anna assured her. "And I am available for the occasional consult. I've got a list of coaches that do have room on their schedule in the meantime if you want to contact one of them. I can email it to you."

Mary was at sea. All her plans scuppered for the time being. She felt a bit sick.

"Don't see this as a setback. Keep going on, improving, challenging yourself. Downton Stables is an incredible facility. I'm amazed in what you've been able to accomplish here in not even six months of operation. In a year or two I will make sure I have an opening for you." Her voice calm. Her words encouraging.

"I will." Mary's voice grew in strength, reflecting the confidence of woman she admired. "I'll see where I am competitively after the Berkshire Horse Trials this week end and make a decision about an interim coach."

"Good." Anna shook Mary's hand. "I will back in touch." And then she got inside the car and drove back down the gravel lane to the main road outside Downton Abbey.

Mary stayed long minutes staring into the distance. She could hear the horses nickering in their stalls. A sound she always found soothing.

Stop it, she told herself. Stop wallowing and get on with your work. So what everything was golden one minutes, and now it seems its turned to ashes. You're never down for long. Tomorrow you travel to Windsor for the Horse Trials and another chance to put Jellybean through her paces.

One step at a time, she remembered. One step at a time.

But it was disappointing all the same. She'd give Matthew a call to tell him the news.

XX

"Robert," Matthew's modulated tone greeted the Earl of Grantham as he was ushered in by Cyn. "This is unexpected."

He had just hung up from a conversation with Mary regarding her unfortunate conclusions to the meeting with Anna Smith. He was disappointed for her. Unsure how to comfort as it was just an unfortunate issue of timing. He took heart that when they finished talking Mary did enthuse about all the nuances and details Anna noticed in Mary's riding posture and habits. Those would come in handy at the Berkshire Trials she said.

"I know Matthew." Robert looked like he had aged seventy years since their last encounter at that nightmarish dinner at Downton.

Obviously, things were still not going well.

"Have a seat." And he guided Robert towards the comfortable chair adjoining his own across the desk.

Robert did so. "I won't take up much of your time. Thank you for seeing me like this. I'll get straight to the point. I know we settled our bill from your previous consulting work but I would like to hire your firm to sell some land at Downton and to do so rather quickly." The earl finally lifted his eyes to meet the furrowed brow of Matthew Crawley.

Matthew's mouth was agape, trying to find something to say. His mind was racing however. Land? At Downton? My firm? But you fired me?

Instead of any of those questions, Matthew said smoothly, "Very well let me see what we can do. Do you have the details?"

"I can inform my estate manager to forward your agent the necessary information. It's just some acreage that is largely unused and I've been hanging on to for sentimental reasons. But as you know all too well my finances are not in the best of shape and I need some ready cash. The land is good and I've had interest in it for years. I've just never wanted to sell. My daughter is using it now for this new business venture she's taken a fancy to" and he waved his hand vaguely as if he didn't really know exactly what Mary's business entailed "but she'll have to make do."

Matthew blinked rapidly and his eyes beetled back and forth. He blurted out "I don't think taking the land away from Mary just so you can make a quick profit is the best thing for the family."

And then he clapped his mouth shut. Shit shit shit, he thought. That was the wrong thing to say.

And it was, Robert's eyes narrowed. "I don't really care what you think is the best thing for my family. What does it have to do with you?" He shifted forward in his chair. "I came here because you know something of my private difficulties, it was not easy for me to decide to work with you again. Now it seems I made a mistake in thinking you could be fair."

The truth was, Matthew realized, it had nothing to do with him.

Yet.

He was still not divorced and Mary did not want to tell the family of their relationship until after the absolute decree was finalized.

But he could not in all good conscience allow this to happen without Mary's input.

He tried again in a more diplomatic voice, "I meant to say decisions made under pressure are not recommended unless all parties involved have had their fair say in the matter."

Robert grumbled an assent so Matthew pressed forward "Have you informed Lady Mary of this scheme?"

The older man didn't like that characterization but let it go Matthew noted.

"No. She's not the owner. I am."

"Yes. But she utilizes the land for a venture of her own. Land that is essential to her operation of this business." Matthew was treading on thin ice here. He knew he could not divulge Robert's information to Mary without breaking client privileges, but nor could he admit to Robert his position as Mary's business partner as he had promised her not to until time was right.

But time may no longer be on their side.

Robert gave him a narrow look. "So are you or are you not willing to become the agents for this sale?"

Matthew paused then said quite plainly "I have a conflict of interest in this projected sale. I can't say any more than I deeply wish you talk this over with Lady Mary before making any final decisions. But I also cannot keep you from choosing another estate agent to complete the transaction."

Robert looked deeply unhappy at that response. And troubled.

Matthew wished he could be more help. He didn't understand the need for such haste. Roberts debts were substantial but they weren't yet at the point of utter ruin.

At least not to Matthew's knowledge they weren't.

Robert got up from the chair. ""Thank you for your time." The two men shook hands and without another word Robert left.

Matthew slumped back down into his seat. He didn't know if he did more harm than good.

XX

Matthew looked at her.

His wife… ex-wife, he corrected his mind.

They had signed the papers.

He looked up.

Her eyes met his. The look was there. Unblinking, she stared straight ahead almost looking between his eyes. To anyone else it would appear expressionless.

But Matthew knew better. He knew Lavinia. Knew her better than almost anyone else.

He saw the hurt behind the eyes.

The hurt he had caused.

The damage he inflicted caused those eyes that now stared into his.

Accusing. Damning. Pained.

None of the money in the world would change that. He had given her everything. They had been through the settlement negotiations. Sat across one more table from another just a month previous. Matthew's pressing trip to North America had sped up the legal work as both parties wanted it done before he left the country for three weeks. Lavinia had said nothing, except through her lawyer. She had accepted all the arrangements with regards to her father's business. Had acknowledged and thanked Matthew's hard work in finding a new CEO for Swire Inc.

This meeting was just the formality of the signing of the divorce absolute. There had been only one change. Lavinia had, to Matthew's surprise, countered his offer to pay off the mortgage to their house by saying she'd rather sell.

Matthew stumbled a hasty "Yes, certainly." She would not look at him when his eyes flashed over to hers. She wanted to sell? A new paper presented.

And then it was over. His initials all over various legal documents.

They got up to leave.

And she looked at him. As his chair squeaked on its rollers as he pushed it away from the table.

Matthew's eyes trailed up to meet hers.

His mouth opened to say something, but she turned away and walked out the door. No backward glance.

It was done.

XX

Isobel had lunch with him afterward.

Matthew was silent through most of it.

"You got what you wanted, Matthew." His ever practical mother pointed out. "You are not regretting it I hope? Rather late to beg Lavinia's forgiveness now."

Matthew eyed his mother from under his heavy lidded brows, but his voice was assured. "I don't want to go back. I just didn't realize we'd never speak to one another again."

"Did you think if you gave her enough money it would make up for the realization her husband loved another woman?" Isobel snapped back. "That she let bygones be bygones and come out for tea?"

Matthew sank lower in his seat. His head was throbbing. "Of course not!" he snorted. His mind reeled at the finality of what was just done. His decisions had changed all their lives. His mother had every right to be angry with him as well.

"I know what I did Mother. I also know one can't just turn off feeling love for your wife because you signed a paper…" What was the use, he thought?

"But you did sign a paper saying just that." Isobel took a slow sip of her tea.

Matthew was struggling to understand. "I signed a paper saying that our marriage was over. My love for Lavinia has changed, it's true... I knew she'd be hurt. I know the hurt I inflicted upon her. But it's not gone altogether. It is not something that can be just thrown away."

"Nor should it be," his mother relented. "With you or with Lavinia. But she's strong. Much stronger I suspect that you believe her to be. She's won't be pining for you forever. Take heart in that."

Matthew exhaled loudly, looking askance at his mother. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"I don't care what you feel." His mother retorted smartly. "I care about what you do now. What are your plans for the future with your new inamorata?" Her look direct, a steely gaze.

"I plan to spend the rest of my days with her…" and he wouldn't let his mother get the last word in, "And I know you'll point out I said that before and look how it turned out. But this is different, Mother. I was wrong to have married Lavinia and tied her to someone not as much love as she. I love Mary with a devotion that honestly scares me."

The utter simple sincerity of that response floored Isobel. She knew her son was not given to exaggerations.

"I need you to believe me. Mary wants to meet you. I want you to like her, not judge or compare her. I know you still think I've made a mess of things with Lavinia."

"That's a different conversation." Isobel observed. "I will give Mary all the chance in the world if she makes you as happy as you say."

Matthew was enormously relieved. "That's all I'm asking of you." He ate his sandwich in the quiet that descended between them.

Matthew ventured after a few minutes, "What did you make of Lavinia's desire to sell the house. I thought she loved it."

Isobel revealed, "She told me about that."

Matthew's eyes narrowed, "Really? I know you have been in contact with her, but I had no idea."

"There's a fair bit you don't know about her life these days. She's made a lot of decisions meant to satisfy herself rather than someone else."

"You mean me?" Matthew frowned. "I never thought of myself as ordering her about or demanding my needs come first."

"You didn't." Isobel reflected. "As I see it, the two of you in your marriage settled for what was easiest in both your personalities. That's why you got along so well. Neither of you challenged the other outside the comfort of a good home and a stable marriage. So when you finally kicked over the traces in looking outside for something you weren't finding within, whether you knew it or not…" and here she pat Matthew's hand as he was looking even more and more scowly at her rather too on the mark observations. "Lavinia realized she could now do the same."

He acquiesced to that assessment. "So what is she doing?"

"You'll have to ask her." Isobel was being maddingly mysterious. "It's not my place to say."

He now understood how he himself had come across Robert a few days ago when he said very much the same thing. A slight tetchiness in Matthew's voice. "But she's not talking to me."

"You were the one who pushed this decision on her." Isobel quickly reminded her recalcitrant son. "It's only been three months." The more gently, "She will. Give her the time she needs. She'll call you, when she's ready."

Matthew nodded acknowledgement. He knew she was right. "I'll wait for her then."

They finished the meal in silence.

XX

The day before he was to fly out to Las Vegas for three weeks it happened. Lavinia called him to ask to meet her at their old house on Fulham Green.

He said he could be there around 3pm. She agreed and they clicked off.

He arrived to find her boxing items from the house. The "To Let" sign already out front as Matthew had instructed.

Lavinia turned when she heard that familiar sound of Matthew's key in the lock. She screwed on her brave face and greeted him warmly. "Hello. I had no idea we collected so much junk over the years. I'm taking loads to Oxfam."

Matthew said, grateful they were speaking at all, "mostly my books probably. I've never been able even to donate any ever. Had all of them since uni."

"There is a happy amount of books a house can hold. You did ever exceed it."

They both laughed nervously, knowing it was true.

"I'll give you a hand." Matthew rolled up his sleeves and opened the flaps of a box. He didn't ask why she wanted to move. As his mother said, all in good time.

They worked in companionable silence for a few minutes while Lavinia collected her thoughts.

"I'm moving to Australia Matthew. That's why I agreed to the early settlement and selling the house."

Matthew stopped in mid packing. "Australia?" He was at first confused and then he remembered. They had talked last year Lavinia taking up a position with a British commonwealth teaching organization. He had said he couldn't go just anywhere on a whim. She never brought it up again.

"That's wonderful." He said. "I think it's a marvelous idea."

"It'll do." Lavinia answered. "Until I settle on something more permanent. They're letting me do a year in Australia and then maybe India."

"Your finances all secured?" He asked, concerned she might be unable to access her funds if needed.

"Yes." Lavinia looked at her former husband. His brow had taken on that furrowed look he always got when he wanted to make sure she was okay. "I'm alright."

Matthew's eyes darkened. "I'm very glad you called me to tell me in person. You have every right to hate me."

Lavinia gave him a side eye. "I do, don't I?" At his blanched, guilty face though she relented. "Let's part friends Matthew. The world has far too much hate in it right now. I don't want that for us. You were right when you said we had four great years. I don't want to ruin that either."

Matthew's relief was tinged with sadness. He very probably did not deserve her rapprochement. But he accepted it on one condition.

"Let's both wish each other every happiness and good luck. I certainly wish that for you." His face flickered and played around at the edges with a smile.

He hoped she'd return it.

Lavinia nodded agreement and then suddenly smiled in return. The first one he had seen in a very long time. "Take as many of your books as you want."

It was enough.

They continued to work for the rest of the day.

XX

 _tbc_

 _Reviews are a special thing!_

 _Yes that is a line from Chariots of Fire..._


	16. Chapter 16:Interlude

Matthew sat out on the balcony. The sun was intimidatingly bright in the deep azure blue sky.

He approved of December in Las Vegas.

He could most certainly not complain about the two-story penthouse villa Michael Morton's company had booked for his three-week stint. He was to give three lecture seminars over consecutive week ends with a special list of Morton's agents and clients interested in the European markets.

The rest of the time was his own. He intended to travel around the West coast of North America to investigate real estate potential for some of his own clients as well as his own interests. He hoped to take a hop to Canada as well as he knew of some investment prospects in Vancouver.

He wished Mary could spare some time away from her business to spend at least part of the three weeks with him. But she was not sure. She'd see as he settled in for the long stay in North America.

He pulled up his sun shades and leaned back in the cushioned chair.

…..

They had managed to see each other for the week end at the Berkshire Horse Trials. His divorce absolute decreed, he traveled a day later to meet Mary at the B&B near Windsor. The meeting with Robert had disconcerted him and the conversation with his mother had sobered him. He knew at some point in the near future he would have to ask whether Robert took his advice and spoke with Mary about this land sale her father projected. And broach the subject of meeting his mother.

But not quite now.

He just wanted to enjoy their first week end as a couple.

She was already at the Trials with Jerry and the horses. He was to meet her there after putting his bags at the bed and breakfast. The room was spacious and looked out onto the Berkshire countryside. He loved not having to be secret about their relationship and hide out at Downton. They had come clean to her sisters and his mother. Her parents would know soon enough. Probably after his trip to Vegas when they could make decisions about their future.

What would that be? He had no idea. It was insane he knew that he was already considering marriage and a family with Mary. Would that freak her out? It was the last thing he wanted to do. But it was what was most present in his mind. He smiled at the very outrageousness of that dream.

He knew her career was uppermost as it should be for Mary. And he would do whatever she wanted with regards to living arrangements and marital state. As he was just divorced it would be foolish to rush into anything.

They needed to take time. Get to know each other. Live in the moment.

He'd start right now.

Throwing his bag onto the bed in their room, he changed into jeans and a light jacket and retrieved his keys. Drove over to the estate grounds where the horse trials were being held and parked in the lot. He felt an excitement build inside him as he got his badge and walked inside to the find his way to the viewing stands at the showing jumping competition.

This was his future. And he could not wait to cheer Mary on.

XX

Jellybean felt spirited under Mary's reins as she guided the horse to her position. The mare knew the competition was on. Sensing the vibe in the stable yard the horse was ready to go. Her hooves jogged in place. Her ears pricked up taking in all the sounds of the yard and the crowd.

Mary received Matthew's text that he had arrived and was in the stands. **Love you. Such good luck.**

She mounted her horse confidently.

It was a crisp December day. Mary never felt better, surprising even herself given the disappointment of Anna Smith's deferment of coaching her. Matthew's presence calmed and centered Mary in a way she would never have expected.

She would give it her best.

Jellybean snorted and reared her head. She was ready to go as well. The horse pranced as Mary awaited her turn. She walked her around to calm the horses' nerves.

The competitor ahead of her had deducted points for three missed rails and a time deduction. Mary had decided to concentrate on just the show jumping for these Trials rather than the entire three-day event. She still felt weak in dressage and would use time this winter and following spring to work out the details of the precise choreography the format demanded. Cross country would also wait for another day. She wasn't feeling her best, not sure the early chill in the air wasn't playing havoc with her health.

Her media support team in Downton Village had encouraged Mary to start a blog about Downton Stables and her own personal competitive goals. Processing the mistakes as well as the successes had helped Mary focus her mind and give attention to every detail. It had also brought in revenue through advertisers and connections to local businesses who bought space on the blog.

She had finished up the post regarding her arrival at Windsor and prep for the competition. Earlier that morning she and Jellybean had tracked the course of jumps and working out the height levels of the jumps. Writing that she felt confident about their potential for a win, Mary finished the blog article with a picture of the horse being groomed and plaited.

Her name was called, she guided Jellybean to the start. A whistle of support from the crowd. Was that Matthew, she mused.

The first jump on the course was a two-rail vertical. She correctly counted out the necessary strides between the start of the course and the jump and Jellybean cleared.

The next were a series of two oxers which were tricky but the horse did not faulter. Anna had said that Jellybean was a great scoping jumper, sensing the rise and fall of Mary in the saddle as well as the height needed to clear the rails. She touched Jellybean's neck with her stick to prompt her forward.

Mary's eyes focused on the next jumps. A wall and another two-series combination followed by a water pool. Jellybean bobbled coming out of the water but she kept her stability and they moved on. Striding confidently past the next set of 5'3" towards the highest jump on the course, the 6' triple bar. Mary bit the side of her mouth as she coaxed the horse around the bend.

She cleared it but felt the horse initially hesitate, thus perhaps losing some time. Another water jump and another series of combinations and she was done.

Across the finish in 42.65 seconds, she could not have asked for more from the mare. Giving the horse a couple of friendly slaps across her shoulders and rising in the stirrups as she moved out of the way of the other riders, Mary was happy.

She dismounted and guided the Bean back to her stall. Jerry was there to cool down the mare.

"Good ride Mary." He said, clicking his tongue and patting the horse. "Jellybean cleared all the rails."

"She was terrific." Mary was beaming as she took off her helmet. "I thought she was a bit hesitant at the water, and bobbled after but she kept her stride and kept going."

"Good time, though. You might just win." Jerry got out his brush and started his work.

"We'll see." Her eyebrows flickered. "Tom Burleson is up now." And she stepped out to watch as Tom cleared the water in two strides.

Where was Matthew? She looked around and saw him walking towards her, a matching grin on his face.

"Darling." He kissed her cheek lightly. "You were marvelous. Jellybean cleared everything. I don't think I've ever been more tense watching something."

Mary's cheeks were still flushed from the ride. Matthew could not keep his eyes off her. His hands rubbed her arms up and down. He kissed her lips. The smells of horse and sweat filled his nostrils.

"I must look a fright." Mary pulled back, pushing some stray hairs behind her ears.

"Atrocious." Matthew retorted cheekily. "Can hardly stand to look at you."

They both chuckled as he hugged her, clasping her hands after as he didn't want to let go.

"When will we know if you've won?"

Mary noted Burleson's time was slightly behind hers. A confident smirk flashed across her face. One of hope. Of anticipation. "After about five more competitors."

"I'll leave you to it then." Matthew said, "I know you have tasks to do." And he let go of her hand.

"Meet you in about forty-five minutes. I just need to make sure the Bean has settled down. I'm sure Jerry has it well in hand." Mary glanced as the next competitor was called.

"But you just want to make sure." Matthew pursed his lips in approval. They were both the same in that. "I'll meet you later then."

Mary turned back towards the stalls and Matthew returned to the viewing stand. He could hardly hold a normal breath during the rest of the competition. All the riders were so good. The horses sharp. He kept an eye on all the times. Mary was still on top.

And at the end she won.

"Brilliant." He muttered under his breath. "Good going." She'll be thrilled, he thought as he made his way over to the winner's circle.

Mary received her blue ribbon and a silver plate that would later be engraved with Mary's name. She looked cool and under control as she accepted the award and the applause. Her eyes darted around the edge of the crowd to see Matthew catch her eye. He held up his mobile and snapped a couple of photos for her blog and for their own private memories.

Later she received the congratulations from the Berkshire Horse Trials president. They were both invited to the winner's table at dinner later that night. After Mary saw Jerry off back to Downton with Jellybean, she met Matthew back at the bed and breakfast to celebrate and get ready for the awards dinner.

He was rummaging through his overnight bag, finding his shaving kit.

Mary threw herself on the bed, reaching out her arms to embrace him as he leaned his knee over the edge of the bed, and pushed off his leg towards her.

"I need to get a shower." She groaned as his arms snaked around her.

"Not now." His nose tickled her neckline. He snuggled up close, his nose making his way across her cheek, his lips brushing. "Later…"

"Later eh?" Her nose skimmed along the ridge of his.

"Hmmmm…." His voice whispered deeply. "Later…"

Their lips met. Crashing. Soft. Concentrated.

"I want to take my time…" Matthew's hand released the buttons of her jacket. Then her blouse. She lifted up so he could unhook her brassiere. She groaned into his mouth as his tongue played with her palette.

His hands came alongside her face and clasped his fingers through her thick hair. He entangled his fingers around her tresses, losing control and pushing her more heavily and deeply towards him. His lips hurt and felt bruised as her teeth gnashed against his and her tongue thrust deeper and deeper down his throat.

His hands roamed under the blouse until he felt each nipple rise to his touch. Her moans increased in pleasure as he squeezed and tugged, cupping the breast. They swayed under his touch, making him even more in need of possessing her.

His mouth down deep on hers, his tongue pushing its way towards her throat. Mary arched her back and pulled forward pulling him down on top of her. She heaved his shirt loose from his jeans and then fumbled with the zipper. She jerked the jeans and boxer briefs down his arse cheeks. Her hands then squeezed and kneaded each in time to his driving actions down onto her mouth. The harder he pushed his tongue down her throat, the more she put pressure and pushed him towards her. She shoved her fingernails in. Dug in. The redness making streaks in his skin.

Mary felt his hard shaft press against her jodhpurs. She reached down to possessively stroke his enlarged member between her fingers. His eyes rolled back of his head at the pressure she gave his arousal.

"You know…" He lifted his head to speak hoarsely in her ear. "Those …those riding breeches are very…" His words paused. "…very tight."

She flashed a slow smile. "Would you like to take them off?"

"God yes." She felt the heat of his breath as he spoke the words. He pushed himself reluctantly off her body, but began to unzip and unbutton the leggings. He slid his hands inside, his fingers traveling down her inner thigh and touching her as his mouth once again traveled to her mouth. Their motions became one as she met his rhythm touching her in all the right places.

Her body freed they intertwined limbs and mouths and tongues. He mounted her and thrust inside. She wrapped her legs around his backside and shoved him in deeper so that she could feel him all the way up. Her grunts met his own in staccato bursts.

He looked down at her, her skin slick. She teased him, curling around him to get better balance. They rhythmically moved in time. They claimed each other.

Possessed each other.

Body and soul.

"Take me." She demanded in his ear, "Fuck me hard. You do know how?" She teased, nipping his lower lip. She pulled it out and sucked it into her mouth. The pressure made him move down even harder on her lips. He felt her skin, hot and sweaty. She squealed out in surprise as his body's weight came down onto hers. "Is this better…" His voice, gravelly and demanding. His body thrust upwards into hers. She shuddered in ecstasy. Clutching at his sweaty arms, her fingernails dug into his skin.

"Yes…Yes…" screaming, it was all she could utter as her mind turned off to everything but the waves of sensuous pleasure coursing through her body.

His body was so taut, so hard. Their tongues tasted the other's salty breath. Their bodies slid and jerked in purposeful and yet erratic movements to please and pleasure each other.

Their breaths ragged and short, their skin hot, their need powerless to stop, she enjoyed the spiked groan of desire that erupted from her mouth. "Oh…Oh..,yes. God yes Matthew." His own hips buckled and his head rolled side to side and his arms kept his weight atop hers, even as the muscles were visibly twitching under the skin. He stiffened and thrust one last time and shuddered in spent passion.

It was all. Everything.

They were finally together.

Matthew lay down beside her. Mary's hands still shaking she pulled herself close to him. He kissed her hair, felt it tickle.

"I love you my darling, so very very much."

She never wanted to let go.

XX

Matthew remembered every moment of that love making.

He wanted Mary here with him in Vegas so bad. What was the point in being in Sin City without the woman who made all his sinful dreams possible?

His erotic reverie was broken up by the buzz of his mobile.

It was as if Mary read his thoughts.

He answered. "Hello. I was just thinking about you." His voice sounding as wicked as his thoughts.

Mary loved hearing that tone. "Darling. I think I'll be able to make the trip after all." But then she paused making Matthew worry.

"Is something wrong?" He sat up in the deck chair.

"No." But she wasn't convincing him.

"Not wrong exactly." Her voice crackled from across the international time zones. "As a matter of fact it could be very very the opposite." Mary was being evasive.

Unsure still, Matthew asked, "May I know what you mean?"

"I'll tell you when I get there." She would say no more. "I don't want to talk about it until we're together."

He glanced at his watch. It was 4pm Las Vegas time, meaning it was just past midnight in London.

"I'll meet you at the airport?" He asked, thinking he could if the timing was right.

"No. I can't get an immediate flight. You will be in the middle of your sessions by the time I'm landing. I will find my way to the Aria and meet you in your rooms." Matthew had texted her his information earlier upon his arrival.

"I can't wait to see you."

She clicked off without saying another word, leaving Matthew to put the phone up his mouth in consternation.

What could be so important to tell him, she was flying in and leaving her business obligations?

All speculation would have to wait, however. He had to prep for his presentations tomorrow as well as get ready to meet Michael and some of his clients for dinner that very night.

Putting on his suit after taking a shower, Matthew was still trying to work out what possible information Mary had to divulge.

Had Robert finally talked to her?

Let her in on his secrets? His affair? Her half-brother?

Or was it something else entirely?

He could not work it out.

XX

 _Hope you like it!_

 _It's a bit of a tease perhaps. But this chapter didn't fit well in either the one before or the one after. So here it is! A little mid-week treat I hope!_


	17. Chapter 17: The Whole Damned Thing

XX

"Let my PA Leila hook your girl up." Michael Morton said to Matthew as the two strode across the hotel lobby to the conference center. Morton was already distracted by the continual buzzing of his iPhone so Matthew only had half his attention.

"Hook her up?..." Matthew's confused look said it all.

"With an appropriate outfit for tonight's blow out." Morton clapped a hand on Matthew's shoulder. "Is your new girlfriend hot? I had no idea you were even divorced. My ex took me for fuck all, I hope your legal training allowed you to make out better."

Matthew winced at that crude male bonding. He knew Morton was already on his fifth wife, at least at last count and was always on the lookout for the next.

His own divorce was still to raw, his own guilt too palpable to be as casual as Morton. He had wronged his wife and tried to make good. It was nothing to gloat or boast about. They had parted, if not on friendly terms—and who was he to expect that—then at least they parted without lingering acrimony. If she had been putting on a front—and Matthew suspected she was—he let it go. Lavinia had every right to leave on her own terms.

But one thing he also had learned about Morton, he liked the sound of his own voice more than anything else. So, if Matthew simply said nothing, Morton would move on to another topic.

Which he did.

"I'm sorry I won't be able to sit in on your seminar today, but I've got to welcome these big guns flying in from L.A."

They had reached the conference rooms door.

"I've done these before." Matthew assured him. "I can handle it."

Matthew simply wanted it over with. It was three hours in the morning and another two after lunch. The session would open with his own presentation on Brexit and the state of the European market followed by an open forum discussion.

Mary was on her way, but with the time changes and delays at Heathrow it meant they would not see each other until that evening. He hadn't even known about the drinks and dinner bash until Morton told him an hour ago. Mary was usually stylish and appropriately dressed, but he doubted she'd pack anything other than overnight travel clothes. Her messages had been that she couldn't stay long, but they must speak in person.

He spent much of the previous night speculating as what she meant by that.

What could be so important that she felt the urge to travel across an ocean and continent to talk to him. To tell him something.

It most probably was not to do directly with her father's secrets. She had said it was good news.

Or the opposite of something wrong.

What could that be?

He had only one other theory. He knew how much sex they had engaged in freely and without protection. The sex had been mind blowing. He thought he had experienced a great deal of good sex in his life. But part of his guilt was when his mind, unbidden and shameful, compared his past to what he's experienced with Mary and he realized there was no comparison. Mary made his body ache to hold her, to possess her, to be one with her.

He thought she felt the same. Hence their liberated and off the chain sex life. It had been heady and turned his life upside down. His mind continually wandered to the curves of her body. They could hardly ever keep their hands off the other when in a shared space.

He loved every minute.

Thus his growing belief the hypothesis was right.

And that simultaneously made his heart burst with joy and his head spin with remorse. What would she think of this? It would ruin her plans. And yet she was happy?

And then the darker question. One that filled his brain no matter how much he wanted to ignore it.

Was the child his?

XX

Mary checked her mobile. She had to leave Downton for Heathrow immediately if she had any hope of making the flight. If she left on the 7pm flight she would arrive in Las Vegas Friday afternoon. The time zone calculations were making her head hurt. She needed to get going.

That is if her father would ever get to the point.

He had been speaking about fifteen minutes already in spurts followed by long pauses and hesitations.

She was more than a little irritated.

"How's this venture coming along?" He had asked.

"You mean Downton Stables?" She wanted him to acknowledge it by name. As well as her success.

"Yes." He still spoke as if from a great distance. "Is it all you wanted? Is Downton Stables worth leaving Grantham and your obligations there?"

"Papa it's my own. Of course, it's worth it. Why are you not more pleased for me?" She gripped his arm.

Her pained words broke the air between them.

"You are my dearest daughter." Robert spoke with heavy emotion. "And I love you. I am pleased. I just wish ..." He pushed his fingers towards his brow. "I wish circumstances were different."

"What is the matter?" Mary was tired of being left in the dark with regards her father's money woes. Her voice steely.

"I've not been the best steward of Downton, my dear." He choked out the words. "It's not something I can easily speak about. I liked having you in London. It's good to have family around you."

And again his voice trailed off. It seemed to Mary as if he was in another world entirely.

"Things can be put right." Mary asserted, trying to recall her father back from wherever his mind had wandered. "Every business has ups and downs. We both knew Jarvis was double dealing. You said you fired him. That's a step in the right direction."

"There's more to it than that." He could hardly look at her. He coughed. Looked away, then back at his daughter, recovering enough to say in what he hoped was a civil manner, "I might have to sell some land at Downton. I need some ready cash."

"What?" Mary's eyes flashed up. "What land? Why? The bank would surely be a better option?" She had never felt such a sense of disconnect, of betrayal from her father. He was a good man. A kind man.

This unsympathetic person before her was not her Papa.

"I'm not ready to explain why I must do this. It's part of a larger story and sometimes pieces of puzzles must remain lost." He started to pace around the library, making Mary nervous.

"For how long?" A sudden shiver ran up Mary's spine. She had never heard her father speak in such riddles.

"I'm not sure." He almost whispered it. "…not sure."

"Then certainly you can put it off until I get back from this trip. I need the land surrounding Downton to run the horses. To teach my students. Surely you know that. To have to rent it back would incur unnecessary expenses that I can't really afford." Mary's voice was direct and harsh. "Are your puzzle pieces worth that?"

"You don't know what you're saying." He met her judgmental eyes, saying brusquely. "Where are you going? If your business is so on edge how can you afford to leave it?"

Mary retorted coldly, "We all have secrets Papa. I will tell you mine, when you tell me yours."

XX

At the lunch break Matthew found out that Mary had boarded and was on her way. He wasn't sure at all he'd be able to see her because of the agenda of meetings he had arranged. Many of the seminar attendees wanted his time for one on one investment counseling. He had agreed to the meetings before knowing Mary intended to come to Las Vegas. She understood and reminded him she was perfectly capable of finding a taxi and making her way to the hotel.

Morton again assured him that all was in hand. His PA would meet Mary at the hotel and see her well taken care of in Matthew's absence.

He was rushing about taking in meetings at several hotels around the strip. He had rented a Mustang for his stay which made the trips at least a bit of fun. When in America he figured, laughing as he was handed the keys. Previously in France and Canada he'd driven on the right so he was fairly confident in his ability to navigate American roadways.

So he found himself ensconced with some American investors over drinks at the MGM Grand when Mary texted she had arrived, a taxi waiting her from the hotel. She understood he was busy and would meet him later at the Grille Room for the party. Morton's PA Leila was to take her to several shops so she could find an appropriate outfit.

Matthew arrived back at his room, noted Mary's bags in the bedroom and her make up things scattered about. He had just enough time to change into the Tom Ford tux he had brought with him. He knew from past experience that there was always some sort of fete or charity event to attend in any of these type gatherings.

Walked across the foyer and into the Grille Room. The music was loud, the conversation buzzing. The room filled with the same types he always saw at these things.

He was already bored. The only thing that would engage him would be Mary's presence.

Where was she?

XX

Leila had been a godsend. She met Mary down in the lobby of the Aria hotel after waiting for her to put her bags in Matthew's penthouse suite. Her orders were to take Mary to several of the haute couture boutiques in and around the strip so she could find an appropriate dress and shoes for the Morton and Co party that very night. She had first assumed anyone named Lady Mary Crawley would be an evil snob, looking down her aristocratic nose and sniffing in derision.

Nothing could have been further from reality. Leila admitted Mary was a snob, but in a casual, laid back kind of way. Her posture, her lithe body movements. Mary was the bomb. Leila wanted to kill herself because she'd never be that cool.

In return, Mary loved Leila's funky taste in clothing immediately upon seeing her bohemian dress with chunky boots . So she set off confidently with the slightly younger woman to visit both the Via Bellagio and the Grand Canal shops.

"I only wish I could afford these shops." Leila said as she pushed the door open to Barney's New York.

"I should not be splurging right now myself." Mary admitted. "Having set myself a budget, I'm about to break it."

Leila tried to hide a snort, but Mary caught the look. "I know how it looks, but I've just stared my own business and I'm trying very hard to make it work."

"I'd love to do that." Leila said. "My own consignment shop maybe or something like. Not just personal shopper and slave to whatever Michael Morton wants."

"Is he a bad boss?" Mary inquired. Matthew didn't really care for the man but she never got the idea he was cruel.

Leila shrugged indifferently. "He doesn't grope his employees or anything. But I don't like taking orders."

"That's not a great endorsement." Mary observed. "I don't blame you for wanting to get out on your own."

"It's good for now though." Leila guided her over to some racks of dresses. "This one would look fantastic on your figure."

Mary fell in love with the black Oscar de la Renta sleeveless lace Godet dress. It had a scooped neckline and a silk lining. It felt divine against her skin.

"It usually takes much longer to find anything I like…" Mary paused, feeling her next words would have made her sound insufferably privileged.

"Off the rack you mean?" Leila smirked.

"I shop at H & M too," Mary blurted out before realizing that too sounded smug. She shook her head and sighed. "I like shopping most anywhere." It sounded fatuous and lame, but it was true. "My sister Edith says I would rather shop than do almost anything else."

Leila added dryly, "It's better than sex."

Mary archly agreed. "Oh much better…" Of course, now that there was Matthew. She'd have to add sex with Matthew to that list of favorite activities.

That made Mary giggle.

Leila smiled. "I…I don't mean to be presumptuous but I've seen your boyfriend. He was with Michael this morning. He's handsome as fuck."

Mary blushed furiously, knowing the full truth of that statement. Matthew at times literally took her breath away. He was so well defined, his abdominal ridges and plains begging to be explored by her hands and fingers. She wanted to go all night. Feel the rise and fall of his chest. Touch and explore.

And look where that got her…she admitted ruefully to herself. She would not be able to wear this size two dress much longer.

Yet another reason to splurge. She'd be round as a basketball within a month or two.

"I'm going to get it." Mary decided. "I need a pair of shoes…"

"Over here." And Leila again looked on in envy as Mary closed her mind to all sensible thoughts and bought the Christian Louboutin Dorissima Pumps.

Matthew would love them. She knew how he had torn his gaze from her legs when they first met. Now he could look. And she'd love it.

When all their purchases were complete, the women ate lunch on Mary's tab and they returned to the hotel.

Mary showered and dressed, fixed her hair loose around her shoulders, allowing a few wisps to fall across her forehead. A splash of the Jo Malone orange blossom she had in her bag and she was ready. One last pucker to affix the lipstick and she was done.

Matthew had texted he was still busy with clients and, though he had tried to get away, he'd be at least another half hour before he could join her at the party.

She went down to scout around this gathering of rich Americans at play. Mary had an American boyfriend at Oxford. He turned out to be far more interested in the connections to the aristocratic circles Mary introduced him to than her personality or her life goals.

She dumped him.

This lot looked much the same. Blokes more interested in what they can get than into, rather than what they could offer. It had turned her off so many times in the past.

Was that why she settled for Henry? To not be out there anymore? He was safe.

Was she therefore making a big mistake in going from that break up immediately into another relationship?

Was Matthew a safe choice? Was she afraid to be alone? Should they pull back and take things slower?

Mary unconsciously slid her fingers along her still slim stomach, Bit too late for that she thought.

They had plunged into a love affair and the consequences were soon to be glaring to all.

Mary had trouble processing it all. She needed to talk to Matthew. She needed to see him.

Where was he?

"Hello darlin'…" The Texas twang was obvious. "You look rather lost. Let me escort you over to the bar and I'll buy you a cosmopolitan." He seemed to add syllables to the word as he drawled.

"I'm not lost." Mary corrected him. She gently but firmly removed her arm from the obnoxious man's grasp. "Thank you for the offer, but I'm fine as I am."

"A pretty thing like you…." His eyes ogled her long legs in an uncomfortable manner. "You're not from around here are you? You sound like Princess Diana herself." Another leer. "And your assets…" he licked his lips, "…are spectacular."

Mary realized this was almost too easy….

"But you…" she slowly shifted her eyes up and down the Texan's rather pudgy middle section. Lingering deliberately on his groin, she clucked icily in utter disappointment "…have a great many shortcomings."

Drop the mic and walk away girl, she told herself as she made her way down the stairs towards the open bar.

"I'll have a sparkling water with a lime twist." And sat down on the barstool. She felt rather good after that encounter. She was tired of suffering fools. She wouldn't do it anymore.

It was then that Matthew spotted her.

She turned.

She saw him.

He saw her. She drew his eyes hungrily. He swallowed thickly. That dress was drop dead gorgeous. Her foot skirted along her calf, showing off the spiky heels she had bought earlier in the day. She crossed her leg and beckoned him over.

How different, Mary thought. How different when the man you love looks upon you with quiet adoration. He gazed with respect. With love.

His eyes never left her as he walked the few steps that separated them.

"Mary…" He kissed her lightly on the lips. "I've missed you so much."

Matthew's tux was cut just right. Her arms slipped around his waist. She rested her head on his shoulder. "It's such a relief to finally see you."

"I'm so sorry I had those meetings. But I'm all yours…" He kissed her, pulling her lower lip towards him. "At least until tomorrow morning."

And they laughed.

"It's enough." They cuddled together.

The bartender broke them up. "What can I get you?" He handed the water to Mary and turned to Matthew.

Matthew asked for his usual Laphroaig neat with a water back.

When Mary quirked an eyebrow, he excused his minor excess, "I have had an exhausting day." His mouth puckered mischievously. "I'll only have two…or three." He kissed her again. "…or ten. God here comes Michael. And he's got Lauren in tow…"

"Lauren?" Mary looked over to see a leggy blonde on the arm of Matthew's host.

"His latest…" Matthew informed Mary under his breath as he threw his eyes up in resignation. "Michael, Lauren. How lovely." And Mary would never have known from his smooth English tone that he ever wanted to be anywhere else on earth.

Watching Matthew in a professional capacity, even at a social gathering, was eye opening to Mary. He was so diplomatic. So civil tongued, even to those he clearly detested.

Very much like her own masks she donned at social gatherings back home. They had been like that upon their first meeting. She was the ice queen. He the intruder. Then they got to know one another. Be open with each other. That other life was false. What they had was real.

She mused on this while Matthew made the introductions.

"Lady Mary Crawley,"

And she put out her hand.

"Michael Morton and Lauren McKee."

"So nice to finally meet you." She tried to hear his response over the increased din as some kind of announcement was being made over a loud speaker.

"Sorry to have kept Matthew from your side." Morton said smoothly, taking Mary's hand and shaking it. "He's in demand and here such a short time that every minute counts." He turned to Matthew. "I did tell you we're taking the Mazin brothers out on the golf course on Sunday, right?"

Matthew closed his eyes again in forbearance, his mouth taut. It was only a second, but Mary saw it. He then took another glug of his whisky and responded, "I recall you saying something of the kind. I don't really play golf."

"You're English. You invented the game…" And Morton laughed raucously. "Anyway it's better that you don't. That way you won't have to let them win."

"That's the Scots…actually." Matthew muttered to Mary's ear in mock disgust.

But he let it go and the conversation flowed on to various other business related subjects.

They mingled. They played the game they were enjoying themselves.

After about an hour it was enough.

Eventually Mary yawned and made a slight gesture of her head towards the exit, and Matthew imperceptibly nodded his head.

"I think the flight is catching up with Mary." He said to Morton. "We should be turning in."

"The night's a virgin…" Morton laughed again in that grating manner that Mary akinned to a dentist's drill.

"But I've got an early start. Remember I still have another day's seminar this week." Matthew glanced around the room and noted several members of his session already three sheets to the wind. He wondered how many would stagger down in the morning.

"I'll see you Sunday." And at that he held out his hand to take Mary's.

They made a quick dash to the elevators.

XX

Once in his suite they could finally relax.

But Matthew also knew this was the most important time of the day. The reason for Mary's visit having been put on hold while she accompanied him to the party downstairs.

They busyed themselves changing clothes.

Matthew offered to help unzip her de la Renta. He laid kisses all along her naked back as he slipped it off.

"Expensive?" He asked.

"Only half the national debt." Mary quipped back. "Or my entire pin money for the next five years..."

"Worth every penny." His kisses now made it to her revealed shoulder. "You're so beautiful."

Mary kissed him deeply. But he sensed a hesitation.

"Are we to talk now?" He moved away to allow her to put on her night shirt yoga leggings. He started to undo his tie.

Another time and Mary would have helped remove it and they'd have ended up in a mad love making session.

Instead she watched as he methodically removed each garment and carefully packed the jacket and trousers back in its travel case.

She laughed at his neatness.

"What?" He asked, "i don't like to be untidy.Are you a secret mess maker? If so we might not be able to cohabitate after all." He tried to sound light hearted.

"Who says we are?" Mary replied in a more reserved tone. "With our different work locales I don't know what we should do." She looked wan and worn out suddenly.

Matthew finished dressing in a t shirt and boxer briefs. He gathered Mary in his arms. "I'll do whatever you want."

"I'm pregnant." She said it.

Matthew's arms grew tighter, the embrace he never wanted to end. "I see."

"You don't seem as surprised as I had imagined." She let go as she needed to see Matthew's eyes.

They were steady. But if she looked close she saw a twitch of concern.

"I had a day or two to think about what you said. You said it was good news." He moved to sit down on the bed.

"Is this good news?" Mary took the seat opposite on a cushioned chair. "You seem little tentative. I know it's not what we want right now..."

"That's not it at all..." Matthew didn't really know how to say what he wanted to ask.

"You want to make sure it's not Henry's." Mary said it for him.

He nodded, a little shamefaced.

"It's right to want to know that Matthew. Of course you should ask." Mary reached out to clasp his hands. "But I'm sure the baby is your child. Our child."

His indrawn breath released, Matthew gripped his cheeks with the fingers of his other hand. The one clasped in Mary's was shaking. "Oh God Mary. I'm so sorry for even thinking otherwise."

"I had been to see my doctor for an annual check up just before we met at Downton for our week end getaway. I wasn't pregnant. We talked about changing my contraceptive patch to a shot because of my increased exercise regime. I went back a couple days ago to confirm the home test I took from the druggist and she did. I'm about two months along. Henry and I stopped at least weeks before. I probably should have realized earlier but I just thought my body was adjusting to the changes. Dr. Walsh didn't know why the shot failed, but these things happen. When we were at Downton I thought we'd be fine. I don't want you to think I manipulated anything..." Mary bit her lip.

"Never!" Matthew dropped down beside her chair. "This is wonderful news. I know the timing isn't very good. You have your riding and the business... I should have taken more precautions..."

"I've given that some thought" Mary interrupted.

"Oh..." Matthew let her continue. He blinked in concern.

"First I told you not to get those condoms you had ... " She pulled back some stray locks from his forehead. "I knew what we were doing. I'm not blaming you at all. And if we waited to have children I'm afraid we might have had to wait a mighty long time. If I had started training full out for Tokyo, it would have been four years at a minimum. This is happening now, and I'm just beginning. I can take the time off, concentrate on the business. I think it will work."

"But..." He could hear her hesitancy.

"Well...it's just so soon. We..."

"We hardly know each other." He finished. "True enough."

"I don't even know if you want..ed kids." Mary ended the sentence awkwardly.

"With Lavinia you mean." Matthew nodded, knowing what she didn't want to say. "We tried early in our marriage. But it didn't happen and after I started my business..." He trailed off. Then started again, "it wasn't the same. I became obsessed with its success. I think she knew I didn't want any distractions. My work became too important. My need to prove myself. It ruined us."

The bluntness of that response made Mary jump. Matthew looked up.

"I won't let that happen again. Which of course is easier to say now that I've made a success." The bitter irony of that would haunt Matthew.

His hand slipped to her stomach. "I'm very happy Mary. You must believe me." He rubbed gently. "I know we've only just begun in this relationship, but this child will be loved. Loved and most probably spoiled rotten."

They laughed.

"Have you had much sickness?"

"Not too bad really. I am half dead with exhaustion." She yawned again.

"Of course you are. How stupid of me..." and he helped lift her out of the chair and to the bed. So many thoughts crowded his brain.

"Have you told anyone else?" He turned towards the other side of the king sized bed.

"No." Mary melted into the pillow with a contented sigh. "Plenty of time for that. Papa and I did have a bit of a row before I left for the airport."

Matthew's head swiveled around. "What about?" He then resisted divulging any client secrets. Robert could potentially sue him for defamation or something given their icy relationship. He really wanted her father to tell his daughter on his own. He had tried to emphasize that in their last meeting.

"Nothing. That's just it. He won't tell me what's going on. Just some nonsense about needing quick cash. He wants to sell some Downton land." And then she looked at Matthew's face carefully. "You knew that? Didn't you. Your face gives you away every time."

Matthew had to chuckle. "So I've been told before. Good thing I never took a case to the central criminal court. I did know about Robert's land idea. You did convince him to delay any decision I hope?"

"Yes. For the time being. I told him it was vital to my business. What would have happened though, if he went ahead?" Mary leaned up on the pillow.

"I'd have had to get my bank to get in touch with Robert's estate agent."

"To do what precisely?" But she knew the answer.

"Buy it from him." Matthew replied cheekily. "I don't want my investment in Downton Stables jeopardised after all..."

"Oh of course not.." Mary playfully slapped his arm. You might lose out on a good thing."

"A very very good thing." And Matthew slid down to kiss her.

"They'll all have to know soon enough." Mary returned to subject at hand. "Your mother as well."

Matthew closed his eyes. "She already thinks I've been rash in rushing ahead with us. That I've hurt Lavinia for my own selfish need not to take things more slowly."

"This will merely confirm it." He placed his hand across her waist.

"What should we do then? To make it all right with everyone?" Mary didn't know the answer to that herself much less expect Matthew to resolve it.

"We should be very mature about it. Co parent our child until we get to know each other better." He honestly hated the very sound of that. "Not rush into anything..."

"Anything like..." Mary looked at Matthew.

He swallowed. "Like marriage..." He hardly believed he uttered the word. His own divorce signature was barely dry on the decree absolute.

"Is that a proposal Mr. Crawley?" Mary felt his hand tighten against her skin. She had no idea until that moment she wanted him to ask.

He blinked rapidly and plunged ahead "We are in Vegas..."He moved off the bed to kneel before her.

XX

 _So ...what is that all about eh? Are they crazy? Should they?_

 _and yes to some that chapter title will sound familiar and probably give a bit of the plot away...lol :)_


	18. Chapter 18: i carry your heart

XX

Matthew blinked rapidly and plunged ahead "We are in Vegas..." He moved off the bed to kneel before her.

Mary's eyes struggled to stay awake. She tried not to show just how bone weary she was after the long trip and the night's party.

Matthew looked up at Mary, wanting this moment to be perfect. But he noticed Mary's head drooped then rose again. The lines of her smile wavered.

He thought he detected a flash of fear in the back of her eyes.

He hesitated.

"Maybe we should wait until a more appropriate moment. Let's have dinner tomorrow night." He let go of her hand.

She did not protest. "Perhaps you're right." She kissed his cheek. "I would like to remember a proposal of marriage the next morning." And with another delicate though ambiguous sweep of her fingers against his cheek, Mary turned over and pulled the covers up over her shoulders.

She was asleep within moments.

Matthew glided into the chair aside the bed. He steepled his fingers and watched Mary sleep.

XX

The stragglers moaned as they reached for the Styrofoam cups and coffee pots placed on tables at the back of the conference room.

Matthew had grabbed one earlier as he prepared his power point presentation. He might need two or three. He had not gotten much sleep the night before.

Mary slept well into the next morning. He didn't want to disturb her as he readied for the next day's seminar. He slipped into his trousers, shaved and finished brushing his teeth. He buttoned his dress shirt, put on his jacket, and went down to grab a coffee and work in the conference room.

He couldn't sleep any more. He had become restless throughout the night.

The look she had given him.

Worries.

Voices in his head.

Doubt.

Was he moving too fast? Forcing Mary's hand? It was the last thing he wanted to do.

A baby. They were having a baby.

Wasn't that enough? For now?

These doubts had kept him up. His mind was crowded with the details of these seminars, the people he had to schmooze with Morton. The news Mary brought with him. Her father's secrets.

Oh God…Robert. Matthew tossed side to side.

He finally gave up and made ready for the morning's events.

So by the time he had his coffee, his notes, and was fiddling with his phone to see if Tom had sent those latest figures he needed, Matthew was decidedly on edge.

He barely managed to get through the material. It was a slog for moderator and attendees. Finally it was over. Matthew usually felt his responsibilities deeply so wanted to do his best. With this session, he considered adequate would do. And he succeeded in getting through the entire time.

So the rest of his day was his own. No more business. He could meet up with Mary for dinner. But it would again be a rush because of the Sunday golf tee time.

What had he said to her? He'd be different. Wouldn't let his ambitions at work interfere with this new life they were creating.

He always had trouble demarcating work and home life, and in trying to define that line he typically sided with work. That his first responsibility was to his company. His employees. To make sure he worked triple hard to ensure their continued success. Not to slack. Nor to weaken.

And here he was doing it again. Mary had come to him with big news.

News that would change their lives.

And here he was continuing with his schedule of work events.

He needed to show Mary faith. To put his money where his mouth is.

That she, and the child she carried within, were of supreme importance to him.

He would change his life for them.

Matthew reached for his mobile to cancel the golf with Morton.

They had a wedding and honeymoon to plan!

He expected to find several messages from Mary waiting him when he picked up his iPhone. He had not looked at it during the sessions expecting her to sleep through the first and maybe be ready once his afternoon was done.

Instead he found only one message blinking. When he read it, his eyes narrowed. He moved the phone closer to his face. He really did need reading glasses.

Did it say what he thought it said?

 **I've returned to the UK. Couldn't leave Jerry to care for horses all on his own. We'll talk about things when you get back. Love Mary**

He sat down on a bench outside the conference center. Activity buzzed around him.

He heard nothing.

She had left.

With a terse message that said nothing.

He was left with nothing.

It was all his fault. He had pushed her away with his insistence they go the whole way to marriage. She felt obliged to go along. Then when she came to her senses, she realized he had rushed her. She would have agreed to be pushed into a marriage for the sake of the baby. Eventually she would resent him completely.

And that's not making a go of things. If they couldn't agree on this, how could they hope to keep such a fragile marriage together?

She was probably right.

The noise of the hall returned to his ears. It reverbed around his head like a whirlpool.

Matthew forced himself to get up. His legs felt like heavy weights. He could hardly move.

He had been such a fool.

Would she even forgive him? So they could at least co-parent? So he could prove to her that he wasn't the type to push his own demands on those he supposedly loved.

Matthew fiddled with his mobile, fumbling on the keypad and cursing as he tried to find the words to say in response.

She was her own woman and could make up her own mind.

The only thing he could do was to be there for her.

That he would do. He answered **I love you and will miss you until we meet again. I'll do whatever you want.**

He gripped the mobile and placed it back in his jacket pocket and started to go somewhere, then realized. He had nowhere to go. It was late Saturday afternoon. The tourists mingled in the lobby. A parent ran after a wayward child. Couples arm in arm headed towards the cocktail lounge.

He watched a mother and father with their three children. The two younger children were being carried, one little girl her arms tightly wound around her father's neck. The oldest was looking down at a game app. The mom pointed to the exit and the husband nodded. The boy looked up and laughed at something his father had said and then all five headed to the revolving door.

Matthew observed, his heart tightening in his chest.

XX

Mary found Downton empty. She remembered that her parents were traveling in Scotland.

She put down her bag. The echo reverberated through the saloon. She knew full well when her father traveled he closed the house down, giving the staff paid days off rather than have strangers run about without his presence.

Matthew had thought that economically unfeasible. That he should trust the staff to run the house and the tours and the events during the day and shut it down in the evening. To make the house make money for the family.

He was probably right.

Matthew.

She had left Saturday morning while he was in his seminars. Had texted him a good bye to which he replied with what Mary realized was Matthew's version of despair.

Coward.

She was a coward.

In her worst moments during the long flight back home she called herself that. She had left without telling Matthew of her worries. Her concerns. Her fears.

He would hate her. He probably already did. He was better off without her. She'd ruin his life.

She already had.

Mary's thoughts were so confused, so disoriented because of the travel, the time changes, the exhaustion. She didn't want to stay here though. Alone.

Edith was away on a research trip with Bertie this time. Sybil was back in London with her studies.

She made a move up the stairs to put her bag in her room. On the landing she spied something in the corner. It was a button.

Matthew's shirt button from when they had abandoned all sense of decorum or decency and made love on the staircase. The urge to be with him too strong.

She gripped the button tight in her hand.

She could still feel his arms around her.

No, Downton held too many memories for to stay here alone.

Mary considered things for just a moment, and then made up her mind. Her granny was home, having arrived back from her annual trip to New York City in time for the holidays.

Mary picked up her bag and reset the alarm. She'd go stay with her.

It was not a time to be alone.

She got back in the Jaguar and turned out of the drive. Robert's mother lived only a short distance away, in one of the old estate houses where she lived largely on the investment income generated by her now dead husband. He had left her well provided for and though she lived carefully; her home was always a welcoming and warm space for Mary.

She had loved going there as a child. They shared a bond that grew over the years. Violet had said she saw herself in Mary. The pigheadness. The determination. The pride. Achievements made. Always looking for a new challenge. Violet had been her husband's right hand, his steady influence. It had been a generational thing, she had told Mary. Not to have a separate life of her own. A job. A career. She had given in to her station in life.

She had encouraged Mary to do the opposite.

And when Mary was in competition, Violet had hardly missed an event. She had been disappointed when Mary quit. But then old age had set in, and she could no longer attend as had before so the two did not see as much of each other.

Mary needed her granny now. Her advice. Her love.

She had to take someone into her confidence or go mad.

Matthew had upended her world. Her carefully organized world. She had a new career. A steady live in boyfriend. A good life.

And then her father asked that she wine and dine the new consultant he had hired. She had been icily dismissive. Resentful.

Of her father. Of the new consultant.

She was prepared to give him an eyeful in her skintight dress and fuck me shoes. Then blow him off as the wanking jackass he probably was.

Instead she fell in love.

Maybe not immediately. But his piercing blue eyes had noticed her. Her dress and her heels and her hair. He took them all in. And then he saw her.

Her ideas. Her dreams. Her opinions. He wanted to hear all about them. He listened.

She had no idea how affecting that had been.

To have someone simply listen.

And he had continued to do so. Throughout their dinners. The visit to Will Mason's and the purchase of Jellybean. The disastrous dinner at Downton with her father.

Their first kiss.

The weekend at Downton.

Should she have given him a chance then? Back in Las Vegas? Would he have listened to her doubts? Her fears? Or tried to persuade her that he was right. As most men in her life had done.

Mary went to the stables to make sure Jerry had everything well in hand. All the horses were fed and tended. She knew he would be utterly reliable. But she did feel some guilt leaving him with all the responsibilities. She needed to hire another full-time groom. Before the Berkshire Trials she and Jerry had made up a list, but had not felt the urgency. Now she did.

Those thoughts preoccupied her all the way to Violet's house. She pulled into the drive as was happy to see her Granny's car in the space adjacent to the two-story brick façade.

"Granny?" Mary opened the door. Her voice echoed down the hall.

"In the kitchen, my dear." The still strong voice of the 85-year-old responded. "Making a coffee. Would you like one?"

Mary poked her head inside. "I'd love one." She took a seat at the oak table. She felt bone tired.

"To what do I owe this honour?" Violet asked, pulling another cup from the shelf. "I got your message on that mechanism of the devil your father set up for me. Mrs. Hughes read it out before she left. But all it said was you wanted to stay the night."

"Mama and Papa are in Scotland. I didn't fancy being alone." Mary shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant. Then took a sip of the coffee. And asked suddenly, "Is this decaf?"

That was all it took.

"My dear?" Violet's eyebrow quirked. But then quickly took in Mary's weary appearance.

"Granny can we talk in the morning? I'm all in." Mary had used up all her energy in seeing Jerry and the horses.

"Of course. Of course." Violet didn't ask anything more. "I'll make you some hot tea and bring it to you. You know the way to the guest room."

At another unsettled look from Mary, Violet said, "One cup of tea will do no one any harm." And the two women understood each other.

Mary smiled wanly. "I am grateful Granny. Thank you." And she made her way up the stairs.

Violet watched her, not sure if she was to be happy for her grandchild. Or protective.

The next morning all became clear.

Mary felt so refreshed. She made a breakfast of boiled eggs and toast. She hardly ever ate eggs, but she had a craving.

Violet waited for Mary to speak.

When she was ready, Mary did. "I … I'm having a baby." She sat up in the chair.

"Well Well… This is a turn of events." Violet's gaze met her granddaughters. "I must admit to not liking your Henry very much. But if that's what has happened…"

"It's not Henry's Granny." Mary leaned forward, her voice monotone. "I've left him. We weren't right for each other."

Violet could not disagree with that. "I concur. But then who?" Violet's eyes were concerned. "It seems very sudden."

Mary took a deep breath. "It was … It is." She paused.

"I met a man…"

"Oh my dear that's the start of many a melodrama." Violet observed dryly.

The two women shared an ironic smile.

"His name is Matthew. Matthew Crawley oddly enough, though he's no relation to our family. He was hired by Papa to be a consultant over these recent financial difficulties at Grantham. We became business partners in my riding endeavours. He encouraged me to purse my passion. He was married when we first met, so I thought that was that."

"I've heard his name muttered in rather unsavoury tones by your father." Violet took another sip of the coffee Mary had brewed for her. "But I gave up long ago believing your father had any business sense so that probably means this Matthew Crawley gave good advice and Robert refused to listen." The matter of fact tone showed Mary that her granny had lost none of her wits.

"They are at odds, yes." Mary admitted. "I can't say I understand it completely. It seems to go beyond business. But neither man will give way."

"So what happened between you and this Matthew to change his circumstance?" Violet looked searchingly in Mary's face. She had never seen her granddaughter so vulnerable, so open to having her heart broken.

"He wanted to give us a chance, he told me. Said he loved me. He divorced his wife for me." Her face darkened. "It's all so confused. We've spent so little time together. It's not at all how I imagined marriage and children to happen."

"You do not feel the same?" Her granny's tone softened.

"I love him." Mary said, her voice cracked, near tears. Then suddenly she shrugged, "Or is it just hormones? Nesting? I'm not attuned to such things. I don't like being out of control like this. One minute I'm ready to take on the world. The next I want nothing more than to be with him forever." She idly rubbed her stomach in memory of Matthew's hands there.

"So that is what's troubling you child? Tell me." Her thin fingers reaching out to take Mary's hands. "My age has to be of some use after all. I hope I've some wisdom to part."

Mary took a deep breath and admitted the truth. "I went to America, where he's doing working for the next few weeks. To tell him about the baby. He was so happy. He was going to ask me to marry him. But it's ridiculous. I left. I got scared and left."

She turned gloom filled eyes towards her grandmother. "He'd resent me after awhile. Our marriage would be doomed."

Violet smiled at the certainty of youth. "Do you think so little of him? Of his love? I'd say he showed you he's a good man. I know marriage is not a serious matter these days as it was in my day when we were expected to stay together forty or fifty years. It's entered into on a whim and discarded…"

"Like Matthew's?" Mary blurted out. "Are you saying he discarded his wife on a whim?"

"No my dear." Her grandmother's grip tightened around her fingers. "I'm saying he's one of the few who took his vows seriously and aware enough to know when those same vows were put asunder. That his love for you was too strong."

"How do you know?" Mary questioned with a wry look. "You don't even know him."

"I know you. You are like me. Strong in will, but not always in tune with one's heart. Which I've been told is not just a pump to aid the flow of blood." Violet nodded her head solemnly. "He's chosen to be with you because he loves you. I think that is a good indication of the strength of your relationship."

"So what exactly are you saying?" Mary's brow furrowed. She had never heard her granny talk like this. "You are usually so practical."

"Give him the chance he asked for. Trust him."

Mary shivered. Could she do that? Could such happiness as they experienced already be so forever? Until the end of their days?

Violet then added, "I admit such a marriage is most peculiar. Your father will not understand."

"Or like it…" Mary reminded her ruefully. "He and Matthew seem to despise each other upon sight."

"Does that matter to you?"

Mary had to admit that it did not. "It's a separate issue. Matthew, I believe, has been as honest as he can with me. I'm not sure I can say the same of my father."

Violet looked over at Mary. "Then let them sort their differences. Do you want to be with Matthew? That is the question. You must make up your own mind."

"I do."

Violet said, "Then you have your answer."

XX

Matthew woke with a foul taste in his mouth.

He grimaced, annoyed he had forgotten to brush last night. Actually, he couldn't remember much of what he did last night besides veg out in front of the massive HD television and flip through the sports channels until he found Arsenal v Stoke City on one of the many ESPN channels. He had tried watching the Army v Navy football match but realized unless he had a more intimate knowledge of obscure American football rules and loyalties he'd never get it.

A few beers from the mini fridge and what turned out to be the most enormous sized cheeseburger and chips he had ever seen from room service, and he was done for. He threw himself down on the bed and slept.

He awoke stiff and ill tempered. Matthew showered quickly. Walked over to the hotel line phone and called the concierge to inquire whether there was any kind of rowing club in the vicinity. When the young man replied that he would call and set up a time and transportation to the newly created Las Vegas Rowing Club on the artificial lake about 35 minutes from the strip.

"Excellent." Matthew replied. He got dressed quickly in jeans, shirt, and jacket and threw his rowing jersey and thermal lycra bottom trousers in a bag. He brought the gear in the hopes of finding a place to row in his spare time. It always cleared his mind to get out alone on the river or in this case artificial lake.

It would do.

He wanted to every hour of every day to be filled with some kind of activity. With Mary returned to England, and their future uncertain, he didn't want to dwell any more than he did the night before.

Matthew was just about to leave when his mobile buzzed. He leapt on it.

Not Mary, but Morton. He sighed and answered. "Hello Michael." After a few minutes, he clicked off having agreed to meet him after he rowed for a trip about seven hours north of Vegas to Lake Tahoe. The golf had been cancelled in favour of investigating an investment opportunity Morton could not resist. A friend of a friend had let him in a potential good thing. Would Matthew or any of his investment clients back in the UK be interested? Of course, Matthew had replied. Anything but golf, he thought.

The rowing refreshed his spirit. The exertion just what he needed. The calming stroke. The serenity of the cool morning breeze. The quiet as his blade cut the water.

He would convince Mary that he would do whatever she wanted. He would make no demands on her nor force her into any marriage. He loved her. They had conceived a child in that love.

It was all. It was more than he could take in. He needed to see her again. He had considered the idea of cutting these seminars short, or finding someone to replace himself as head.

Matthew finished his routine, turned in the scull, and returned to the Aria in time to shower again and grab a coffee before meeting Morton downstairs.

Morton was out front. Matthew admired the car he drove. The Tesla Model S P90D demanded attention and respect. Ridiculously expensive, Matthew knew. It was also as fast as anything on the road.

Morton got out and threw the key fob to Matthew. "It'll do zero to sixty in 2.8 seconds in Ludicrous mode. Want to try it? It comes with that auto-pilot capability, but who wants that? I told Elon I wanted to drive this baby myself when I picked it up."

"Will it get us all the way to Lake Tahoe?" Matthew asked as he slid into the driver's seat. Morton closed the passenger door.

"The pad will tell us where there's a station to recharge battery. We should only need to do that once as it gets over 300 miles per charge. Just tell the car to navigate us to South Lake Tahoe. We're going to look at properties near the Heavenly Ski Resort Gondola."

Matthew floored the Tesla once they were on the interstate between two cities. It handled exactly as Morton had promised. The ride was joyous. Acceleration effortless and quiet. He loved his Porsche dearly, but this car was so nimble, so quick.

They got to Tahoe in record time.

Morton guided Matthew directly to the car lot next to the offices of his real estate partners once in South Lake Tahoe. They then joined the other agents on a trip around several condominium developments. After lunch they returned to Vegas.

It was dark as they pulled back into the Aria lot. Matthew had thought it a good day's work. He had promised several of his clients back in England to look into lucrative investments and this fit the bill nicely. He made no agreements, however. He told Morton he'd have to look into the numbers far more closely before he'd make any contract. But if it all worked out, Matthew would make a tidy sum himself as well.

But for the moment, he was exhausted. The drive was exhilarating but the day took all he had.

Matthew said his good-bye and wearily took the elevator back to his suite and undressed for the night, pulling on a pair of what the American clerk at the hotel shop called sweat pants and a t shirt.

He slept deep into the next day.

The knock on his door disturbed that slumber. It was insistent.

Scowling and pulling his fingers through his hair, he stumbled over to the door. At least he remembered to brush his teeth.

He opened the door.

And almost died.

Mary stood outside.

They stared at each other.

Long moments went by.

Finally Mary said, "Are you going to let me in?"

He blinked. Then his eyes went wide as he realized what he was doing. He could not believe she had come back.

"How stupid of me. Of course." And he opened the door wide.

Mary smiled at his as bewilderment. She walked inside Matthew's suite. He followed quickly.

Can we sit?"

Matthew nodded.

"I'm sorry for leaving so suddenly." Mary said as she took the chair near the doors leading out to the terrace. "It was just…"

"The horses?" Matthew asked with a knowing look that it was otherwise.

She gave him a searching look. "And myself. And you. I wasn't sure about anything. I let it get to me."

"And now?" He hoped against hope.

"Are you sure?" She asked it quietly.

They locked eyes. "I am." His voice warm and steady.

"We have so much baggage Matthew. How can we even think to make a go of it?" Mary wanted to be sensible. To be sure. But his sincere eyes, his open mouth, and tousled hair distracted her. "I need to know that we're not being foolish. Letting our feeling for each other get in the way of what we should do."

"Which is what?" He clasped her hand. Knelt before her. His mouth curled into a slow smile. His fingers glided gently over her knuckles.

"I don't know…" She felt his touch. His love. His faith. Her voice trembled and trailed off.

"Then let's find out together." She gasped as his grip got a bit firmer. His voice a touch more assured.

"Lady Mary Crawley, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

Mathew looked deep into Mary's brown eyes. He wished hard for her response.

Her face suddenly lit up with the biggest, warmest smile he had ever seen from her. She felt her doubts fade, her strength in her love for this man take over.

"Yes." She said. "Yes, Matthew."

He blushed and bowed his head in utter astonishment and relief.

They were actually going to do this.

He stood up next to her. He started to laugh. She joined in. They kissed.

We're mad." She exclaimed as his arms wrapped around her.

"As hatters…but who cares." He swung her up into his arms and twirls her around. She felt giddy and released from her fears for the moment.

A moment of pure happiness and joy neither wanted to end.

He set her down.

They kissed again. Matthew let go of her lips with regret. "Are you hungry?"

"I had breakfast on the flight." Mary gazed out the terraced window onto the Las Vegas strip. It was quite the view.

"What time is it anyway?" Matthew screwed his face in confusion.

"Almost noon. What have you been doing all this time? Out with the boys?" She gave him a sly smile.

"I have you know I worked all day yesterday." He cracked back defensively.

She gave a doubtful arch of her eye.

Matthew puckered his lips and admitted with a grin, "And drove a smashingly fast car."

"So you didn't miss me at all?" Her voice tried to sound insouciant, but she was unable to make it completely untroubled.

"I missed you terribly." He acknowledged her brave attempt at humour. "I rather despaired when I got your text."

Matthew turned into the bedroom to change into some jeans and shirt.

She followed him in and sat down on the bed. "I want this to work Matthew. I won't apologize for my doubts." Mary said firmly.

Matthew shook his head. "I wouldn't expect you to. You've lived your life and I've lived mine. We haven't known each other very long. I had doubts too. I think it's natural."

He sat down next to her on the bed. "What changed your mind to come back?"

Mary leaned her head on his shoulder. "I talked with my grandmother. She told me to follow my heart which rather frightened me because I think I've been running away from just that for most of my life."

Their fingers intertwined.

"And now?" Matthew asked softly.

"Now I think my heart has found its home."

His breath was hot next to her ear. "And where is that?" He kissed her cheek lightly.

"Inside yours."

Mary reached for his mouth and just barely touching at first, their lips came together in a crashing, burning kiss. "Mary … Mary…" The sound of his voice was resonant and rich. Dark with desire and love.

They fell back onto the still mussed bed sheets.

She let go briefly. "Shall we get married here?" His mouth was kissing each of her fingers. "Or wait?"

"Do you want to wait?" He sounded despairing.

"No."

"Good." He continued to kiss and nibble the palm of her hand.

"But how do we even get a marriage license here? Or find somewhere to perform the ceremony?" She was slowly succumbing to his touch as she asked these most practical of questions.

"Funny you should mention that…." Matthew's last coherent thought, "…I saw the perfect place just yesterday."

But any further explanation would have to wait as Mary's fingers began to unbutton his shirt and he gave in to total bliss.

XX

:) _Going to the chapel…next time. I hope you liked this_

[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]

BY E. E. CUMMINGS

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)


	19. Chapter 19: Wait For It

XX

"I know it's a bit rushed…" Matthew walked quickly towards the exit of the hotel. There was so much to do.

"Rushed?" Tom's animated retort made Matthew smile as he held the mobile to his ear. "It's like something out of a 19th century novel. Off to Gretna Green without parental approval. I say… I say have you done something untoward my good man?"

"Your posh English accent needs improvement." Matthew mocked back. He sidestepped Tom's all to on the nose question. Was he rushing this wedding so they could return to England a married couple expecting a child rather than two individuals who engaged in reckless sex without considering the consequences?

Perhaps.

"I need you to go into my office and find my divorce absolute papers and scan them to me. The marriage licencing laws require me to show them." Matthew scratched his jaw with his other hand. His understanding from the website was that if a divorce was less than a month complete, the documents had to be presented at the of the issuing of a new licence.

He was less than ten days from his divorce from Lavinia.

"And tell no one else Tom. Not even Sybil. We want to tell the family ourselves." Matthew stopped in his tracks at that admission. How the hell would they even start such a conversation? Hello Robert … I think you know my wife…

No…that wouldn't do at all. Matthew pulled at his hair. They'd figure something out.

He and Mary had a long talk that same morning about their situation. He had asked if they should ask anyone from back home to the ceremony. Would she want her sisters?

"No…. yes." Mary vacillated. She sat down on the sofa. Reality was again sinking in after the thrill of Matthew's proposal and their celebratory love making thereafter. She had on one of his shirts as she had yet to unpack. Matthew wore his jeans and he was pulling on a sweat shirt bought at a shop in the hotel. He moved to take a seat next to her.

"So…?" He asked gently.

Mary looked pensive. "I had always assumed a wedding at the local village church with my sisters as bridesmaids."

"Arriving in a horse drawn carriage?" Matthew mused. "You would look so beautiful. I don't want to ruin that for you by making you marry here on my whim."

Mary lightly touched his face with her fingers. She rubbed her fingernail gently along his cheek, an enigmatic smile on her face.

His eyes were drawn to hers. He turned and brushed her fingers with his lips.

"You would do that for me?" Mary asked.

"I would." Matthew took her hand into his own. His eyes were shining and unblinking.

"I want to marry you. Here. Now. I don't want to wait." She put his hand down onto her stomach.

"Your parents might not like it." He knew she knew, but said it anyway.

Mary pursed her lips in thought, then spoke firmly. "This isn't about them or anyone else." But she did catch a quick flash of concern cross Matthew's face.

"What is it?" Mary responded warily. "You know you wear every emotion on your face. You can't hide it."

Matthew blinked suddenly then guffawed slightly in embarrassment. "So you keep telling me." He rubbed her knuckles softly. "It's to do with your father. You know I have somewhat of a strained relationship with him."

She curled an eyebrow saying dryly. "That's a polite way of putting it."

"I don't want that strain to affect us."

"Why should it?"

"Robert was a client and as such I am privy to some information that I believe he now wishes he never told me."

"You already told me about his financial mishandling. Is there more? Have you found the cause?"

Matthew looked at her carefully. He gritted his teeth. He could not go into this marriage with her completely in the dark. "I haven't worked it all out, no. But your father is in considerable financial difficulties. I don't know how much of that will affect you. Or the rest of the family."

"But…" Mary's eyes widened.

Matthew grimaced. "That's not all." He spoke slowly, thick with emotion. "Robert is keeping secrets. But he has to be the one to tell you. It's not my place or my story to tell." He clasped her hand. "You must believe that I don't like doing this. I don't want our marriage to start with secrets. But I do want our marriage to start here, right now. I can't explain why. It just feels right that we do this for ourselves. Robert's issues have nothing to do with us. I doubt I am destined to be his favorite son in law, but I will be the very best husband and father to our child I can possibly be."

Mary drew him close. His head rested against her chest, feeling the pulsating of her heart. It reassured him to hear, to feel it's beat. His arms enfolded her in a tight embrace.

She could feel his warmth, as if he was willing his love to answer her fears. Letting her know it was all going to be fine.

Mary said softly. "I have some fears too."

His arms became protective, a shield against the dark. Matthew awaited her confession.

"That we're truly fooling ourselves. Making more trouble when we already have so many. That it will be too much and our marriage won't work." Mary's hand idly played with loose strands of his hair as she spoke.

He rubbed his cheek against her skin, the opening of his shirt just making her décolletage visible.

"I can't deny those fears." His voice trembled. "But I don't think if we wait those fears will go away."

He sat up to look at Mary. "If we wait until we go back to England, to London and to Downton our reasons for not marrying will multiply. Our obligations to work or to family, both being reason enough to delay."

Matthew got up, suddenly restless. "We would give in. Let…let our real lives dictate what we do."

"Our real lives?" Mary observed. "As if what we're doing here is fantasy?"

"That's not what I mean…" Matthew furrowed his brow. "I feel the opposite actually. That being away from the day to day allows a kind of clarity. To see the things that matter and the things that don't."

She drew him down again next to her. "Then let's do this for us. It's seems crazy for me to say, but I've never felt more sure of anything in my life. In risk there is reward, my old coach used to say."

Matthew kissed her softly, relieved at her assent, and leaned back against the side of the sofa. "Then we will."

Mary suddenly had another panicked look.

"My darling?" Matthew got worried all over again.

"Where am I supposed to find a dress at such late notice? And where exactly does one get married in Vegas? I may be for a quickie wedding, but I still want to look like a bride." Her mock tone belied the seriousness Matthew knew was beneath. Mary did have standards to maintain.

He scratched his cheek in thought. "You handle the first crisis and I'll take on the second."

"What?" Mary was not really listening. She was glancing around the room in confusion.

He guffawed cheerfully. "Find whatever gown you want while I figure out the venue." He followed her until she found what she was looking for.

Rummaging under her coat and handbag, Mary picked up her smartphone. "I think I put Leila's number in my contacts. I'll text her to see if she can meet me again and we can scout around for a bridal boutique in Vegas. Or in an emergency," she turned to meet Matthew's eye and gave a parodic shiver as if this went against the grain of her being, "A consignment shop."

Her bright eyes belied her disdain.

"I'll leave you to it then." Matthew made a move towards the shower.

"Of course you will." She gave a sly look. "Grooms can never see the bride before the wedding."

"That might be difficult as I'm driving." Matthew ducked under her nose to give her another quick kiss. "But I'm warning you in retaliation, I won't tell you where we will exchange our vows. " He crinkled his nose impishly, "It'll be my secret."

Mary purred back decadently, "There are ways, my darling to extract such secrets from a man. …" And she moved towards him with purpose.

Matthew did not even bother to deny it.

XX

Matthew, despite Mary's best ministrations, kept his secret from her. He left the room, a lingering smile on his face.

Then the call from Tom asking for Matthew's accord on an issue related to the Crabtree property. Matthew had been reminded of his perusal of various US state laws regarding marriages between non-citizens and there he had clocked the statute regarding recent divorces.

So he asked Tom to forward his decree absolute.

He had an idea for a wedding surprise. One that would require the help of Michael Morton. He didn't relish confessing their plans to him, but it was essential that everything was timed perfectly.

Matthew walked out into the winter sunshine, a breeze tossing his jacket aside. He slid on his Ray Bans and got into the driver's side of the Mustang.

Where was the Las Vegas airport anyway?

XX

Mary looked over the selection at the second bridal boutique. Leila was continuing to be an utterly resourceful woman. Neither of them liked the trendy designs at the first place. The pant suits were rejected out of hand.

"Nothing with a deep plunging neckline or thigh high slits." Mary rejected dress after dress. "Ugh…" She shuddered replacing another dress that had what looked like a key hole at the bust line. "Like I'm just a body part waiting to be unlocked by a man?" She sniffed in disgust.

"I like this one." Leila, herself adorned with various tattoos and body piercings, let Mary's observations go. She agreed on the last criticism, but she had actually liked the Angelina Jolie-esque inspired slit. Instead she held up a floral lace applique design, popping with a three-dimensional effect. Sleeveless, but with a lush silk wrap, the gown was organza and tulle layered with a silk base.

Mary liked the sheer lace illusion neckline that dipped at the bodice.

"Yes." She took the dress from Leila's hands. "That's more like it."

"Would you like to try it on? We usually don't sell off the rack as these are samples to be fitted to each bride's size. But…" The woman eyed Mary up and down critically. "You seem about the right size to fit. Let me get someone to help you with that fitting."

"Thank you." Mary followed the women towards the back rooms. The excitement of finding the perfect dress tempered by the knowledge she would soon be showing the rounded form of a pregnant woman. It was daunting. Having a baby was indeed the last thing on her agenda. She had wanted a change in her life.

This was not exactly what she had in mind.

Downtown Stables. Her riding career. These were things she had wanted. Had dreamed of.

And she was doing them. Both had come true. Her first-place finish at the recent horse trials in Windsor had confirmed she was on the right path. True the delay in getting the right coach in Anna Smith had been a setback, but she had seen her future clearly. She would continue working on her own to improve her skills while competing at as high as level as possible until such time Anna would be available. Her Stables was going from success to success. They already had a waiting list of students. She had started writing the grant to help out students unable to pay the fees.

It was all good.

Of course none of it would have been possible without Matthew, Mary thought as she slipped into the silky soft wedding gown. He would deny it and say that he was just the silent partner in all her hard work, but she knew better. He had prompted her to pursue this dream. Had supported every idea she created. True he had his own ideas regarding account management and cost efficiency, but he had kept his own counsel rather than intrude.

Their lives had intersected at a seeming random moment. And had changed everything for them.

He had left his wife.

She had broken up with Henry.

They had fallen in love and were now about to be parents.

It was, if she took a moment to consider, overwhelming. This was going to disrupt everything.

All her dreams would have to be put on hold.

Perhaps it was that she was too exhausted to be cross at that. She knew she would crash and burn at some point after all this activity. The flights back and forth between the UK and Las Vegas. The time changes. The lack of a proper sleep.

Telling Matthew about the baby.

Having Violet remind her of the 'things that matter' as Matthew had said earlier that day.

Planning a wedding.

Were these signs of fatigue? Mary mused as the young woman adjusted the dress and buttoned the back.

Would she come to her senses after a good sleep and wonder what she did?

Mary stepped back and looked at her reflection in the triptych mirror. The gown fit like a glove around her slim, athletic body. Mary smoothed a wrinkle in the flowing skirt, moving the silk train around her legs. She stood straight backed and affixed her hair around her shoulders.

"Here." The owner of the boutique placed the silk wrap around her arms and shoulders and stepped back. "Beautiful," she exclaimed gazing at Mary from each angle. The woman had picked up on Mary's English aristocratic tone and bearing and Mary wondered if making the sale influenced her opinion.

She regarded again her reflection. No… it really was as if the dress was made for her. She could not believe her luck in finding it.

Maybe it was a sign that she and Matthew were not acting impulsively and recklessly. That this was meant to happen.

It felt so right.

So good.

That they would start this new phase of their life together, committed and happy.

Mary's wistful smile caught Leila's attention.

"You're going to be the most beautiful of brides. I think I hate myself." Leila's humourous sarcasm broke the spell.

Mary laughed and step down off the dais. "I'll take it." She told the pleased as punch owner. Her two helpers began to unbutton the back.

"Why don't we have a celebratory lunch?" Mary asked Leila. "My treat."

The younger woman nodded in delight as she helped Mary out of the gown. When the transaction was complete, the owner said the dress would be packed and delivered to the suite at the Aria by that same evening.

Mary and Leila ate at a small restaurant specializing in light fare. Mary chose a salad, while Leila an avocado Reuben sandwich.

"How are you so always put together?" Leila gushed. "I never even see you the least bit nervous."

Mary took a sip of the sparkling water. She demurred, "It's all an illusion. Like the swan atop the water while the feet are paddling madly underneath."

"I need to affect that then." Leila said. "Never let them see you sweat kind of thing."

"I'm envious of you," Mary admitted.

"Me?" Leila gasped, flabbergasted. "I'm nothing. A underpaid flunky?"

Mary sat up and took her hand. "You're not. You remind me so much of my sister Sybil. She's full of life and spit and fire. Wants to take on the world on her terms."

"I do not!" Leila blurted out. Then confessed, "Of course I do! How do you do that?"

Mary sat back, pleased she finally got Leila to admit her ambitions. "I told you, you remind me of my sister. I am always the cautious one. Weighing options, calculating decisions. She's always telling me how boring that is."

"Maybe you're taking a chapter out of her book then?" Leila observed coolly. "I mean getting married like this? In Vegas." She drew out the word, lifting her eyebrow.

Mary pressed her lips in a puckish smile. "I suppose that's true."

"Not that I blame you of course. But he's got to be more than just a hot piece of meat?" Leila leaned forward. "Otherwise I'd have no respect for you at all anymore." She shrugged and sat back against the seat.

Mary blinked furiously. Then the two burst into peals of laughter.

"I can't honestly believe we are doing this." Mary confessed, putting down her fork before taking another bite. She was feeling a bit of queasiness.

Was it nerves? Or morning sickness in the late afternoon? She really didn't know.

"It's exciting though. Mad love and everything. It's not just because of the baby I hope?" Leila ventured.

This girl was positively clairvoyant Mary thought.

At Mary's stunned look Leila said "I've noticed how your hand was unconsciously drawn to your stomach when you were dressing and undressing. As if you were protecting what was inside."

"I…" Mary shook her head in disbelief. "I didn't realize. And we were trying to keep it a secret."

"It's the little things. I just noticed it is all." Leila answered. "It's lovely. I wish I could find something close to what I think the two of you have."

"Thank you." Mary lifted her eyes to meet Leila's. "We want to be together and here is where we are. So here is where we're going to get married." She added, "I'm not sure I'm the sort to give this advice to anyone, but follow your heart."

Leila said, "You actually make me believe that it is possible." She finished the last bite of her sandwich. "Would you mind if I dropped you back at the hotel now? I've got to be on the road. Michael wants me in L.A. by morning."

"No. No. " Mary reassured. "You've been so kind to schlep me around this morning. Would you come up to our room before you go? I'd like to give you something for all your effort."

"A bribe to keep your secret?" Leila joked.

"Of course." Mary riposted with a wink. The women made their way towards the exit.

XX

Matthew looked at the selection of rings.

His eye was immediately drawn to a vintage diamond engagement ring. It was, according to the owner of the small shop off the strip he discovered by searching Google, "hand fabricated in platinum with high-quality round brilliant-cut diamond."

The elderly man handed the ring to Matthew.

Matthew admired the ring in his hand, then took it in his fingers to examine each facet more closely. It had a trio of small channel-set diamonds on each side. The accompanying wedding band had similar cut small diamonds.

"Do you have a corresponding men's wedding band?" He perused the selection but saw nothing that matched.

"Yes. Yes." The older gentleman sotto voice assured Matthew. "Here it is…" And he reached behind him and into another box and pulled out a hammer pressed platinum ring.

Matthew nodded, pleased at the design and shape.

"I'll take all three." Matthew shook the owner's hand.

"I hope you and your bride will have many years of happiness." The owner's hand had a tremor but he held onto each of the boxes carefully as he walked around to the cash register.

"Thank you. I'm sure we shall." Matthew's answer accompanied by a wisp of a smile. He had never felt so happy. He deliberately thrust from his thoughts any self-torturous guilt about how he should have been the same five years previous as Lavinia planned their wedding alongside his mother. He had simply let them get on with it. Worked up to the day of the wedding as he believed that was his role. To be the bread winner as old fashioned as that was.

How fatuous. How ultimately wrong. They grew apart rather than together.

That would not happen again. He wanted to participate in this wedding. In planning their future.

"I see you have a selection of necklaces over here…" and Matthew pointed to a case in the corner of the shop. He pointed to a bright-white diamond necklace, each of the diamonds collet-set in platinum.

"Yes sir. That is a beauty." The owner took out the long chain. "It would make a lovely present I imagine."

Matthew could not have agreed more. He was already envisaging sketching Mary in the necklace, and maybe nothing else.

"Could I interest you in some earrings to match?"

Matthew's eyebrow raised in interest.

He had to come to his senses.

Be practical.

They had so many reasons to be concerned that this marriage would not work. Warning flags on his divorce, her recent breakup. The immediate stress of a child.

He should reassert his micro managerial bean counter self.

But not quite now.

He handed over his personal platinum Amex card. You only live this kind of happiness once he mused. He wanted to savour every moment.

A beatific smile came over the elderly owner's face. This did turn out to be a good day for business.

XX

Mary was napping, the long flights catching up with her. She did not hear Matthew's click of the door handle.

She stirred as he entered the suite. Mary lifted her head from the sofa.

"Hello lovely." Matthew said, bestowing a kiss on her brow. "Long day?"

"What day is it more like it!" Mary sleepily rubbed her eyes. She indicated with her arms for Matthew to sit beside her. He slumped down, rather tired as well.

"Did you find what you want?" He asked innocently, giving her a sly side look. She had told him not to ask about her wedding gown as it was a secret.

She replied enigmatically, "I did."

"Good." He nodded.

They sat in companionable silence.

"Yourself? Find what you needed?" She countered with a guileless grin.

His mouth twitched in amusement. "I did." He gave it a bit more emphasis but offered nothing else.

"Good." She copycatted his earlier response.

He turned, his mouth flashing a quick smile. "What do we do now?"

Mary shrugged in a gesture of mock blasé. "Get married tomorrow?"

"What a good idea!" Matthew responded as he grasped her waist and pulled her onto his lap, tickling her as she squealed peals of laughter.

She came to rest on his shoulder, his arm draped around her. Mary could feel his warm breath. Using all his self-control, Matthew moved his lips across her face.

Then they came together in an enflamed kiss.

Matthew whispered. "So…umm…" his lips dancing around her ear. "…you're sleeping in the second bedroom, right?"

Mary sat back to see him. "What?"

"You said it was bad luck not to see the bride?" The twitch returned to his lips.

She narrowed her eyes. "And you said you were driving us to wherever so it's moot."

"True." He settled her back against his shoulder. "But I think just for tonight we should honour the old tradition."

"No sex before marriage." She challenged.

He wrinkled his nose and nodded sagely. "No sex."

"At all?" She dared, touching her nose slowly against his while placing light kisses on his lips.

He swallowed hard, but held firm. "…at all." His voice hoarse from her attentions.

"If you say so…." And she got up slowly, allowing his gaze to fall on her rear as she sashayed towards the larger of the two bedrooms in the suite. "You won't mind if I take this one, right?" And she threw him a sultry look over her shoulder.

"No…" He managed to croak out, his resolve failing.

The door clicked behind her. "…. Night. Night."

Matthew drooped against the sofa with a heaving sigh. It was going to be a long night.

XX

Mary finished her nightly ablutions, rubbing the moisturizer on her face and neck.

Restless suddenly after the nap, she was neither sleepy nor hungry, Mary replaced the cap on the jar. She moved over to the bed after closing the curtains as the flashing lights from the strip below strobed into her room.

Mary peeked through the slit down onto the busy street below. It was a fascinating city.

She was so engrossed that she barely heard the first patter on her door.

Another light tap.

Mary turned at the sound, a slender smile upon her lips. "You can't come in." But the smile now danced and played at the sides of her mouth.

"I know. Come to the door." His voice in that low register that made her body shiver.

She stepped towards the partition between them. Leaned her head against it.

"Can I kiss you good night?" His whispered entreaty.

"Because I need to…"

Mary touched the door that kept her from Matthew.

"…very much."

She said just to taunt him, "No. It's bad luck you said to look at me."

Matthew inhaled slowly and spoke, "I won't look at you. What about if I close my eyes and you do too."

She made him wait a second of agony before answering, "All right. But you mustn't cheat."

Mary heard his slow exhale as he opened the door and stepped inside. She closed her eyes.

They felt their way towards each other. Her fingers reached his chest, his heart beating fast. Mary's hand crept slowly up and slid towards his face.

Matthew felt her hand. He leaned into her touch.

His lips reached out and found hers. Their mouths parted and they kissed.

Mary briefly opened her eyes, whether consciously or not. Matthew pulled back, smiling.

His eyes still closed.

"Good night." Matthew licked his lips as he reluctantly let go.

Her hand was still on his chest. She closed her eyes again. "Good night."

And Matthew took a step back and closed the door once again between them.

Mary opened her eyes, cast down onto the floor. She barely moved for several moments as her body was flooded with such a sensation of love, of trust, it made her tremble with joy.

XX

"You mean we're getting married here?" Mary's voice squeaked. She was beyond shock.

"Yeah…" Matthew grinned as his eyes blinked in the sun."Don't you like it?"

The glare off the pink Cadillac outside hurt Mary's eyes as she took in the establishment advertising "We make dreams come true…"

The Las Vegas Elvis Wedding Chapel was about as far from a dream of Mary's as she could possibly imagine.

An Elvis impersonator standing by the door.

"He'll walk you down the aisle if you want?"

Mary's mouth fell open…

XX

 _:)...reviews, opinions all welcome!_


	20. Chapter 20: Always Be True

So here we go...finishing what we started ... Hope you enjoy

 _"You mean we're getting married here?" Mary's voice squeaked. She was beyond shock._

 _"Yeah…" Matthew grinned as his eyes blinked in the sun."Don't you like it?"_

 _The glare off the pink Cadillac outside hurt Mary's eyes as she took in the establishment advertising "We make dreams come true…"_

 _The Las Vegas Elvis Wedding Chapel was about as far from a dream of Mary's as she could possibly imagine._

 _An Elvis impersonator standing by the door._

 _"He'll walk you down the aisle if you want?"_

 _Mary's mouth fell open…_

XX

Mary signaled the disturbingly grinning Elvis impersonator to back off with a dismissive flick of her hand.

She turned, staring daggers at her potentially erstwhile groom.

And Matthew's eyes widened in utter confusion that Mary didn't like his choice.

He deadpanned. "It's a bargain at $99." He angled his head expectantly towards the awaiting justice of the peace and gave a friendly wave.

Then he blinked.

Rapidly.

And Mary knew.

"You beast!" She shrieked, digging him in the shoulder. "You really had me there for a second."

Matthew finally broke. He cracked a broad grin. "So that's a no I take it?" He pulled the Mustang back out of the driveway.

Mary looked more than relieved. "Please take me anywhere else!"

"To McCarran Airport then." He said decisively, turning out of the chapel's lot.

"What?" Mary was discombobulated completely now.

Matthew was so chuffed Mary fell for his ruse he couldn't stop smiling. But now he was eager to tell her the truth.

"I had a word with Michael yesterday and he's told the pilot of his leased Lear jet to fly us to our real destination. We leave at 11am."

As Mary gave him another inquisitorial glare, Matthew threw up his hands against the steering wheel, in a gesture of concession. "Honest." He solemnly crossed his heart. "And the flight is quite short. We're going to South Lake Tahoe to the Valhalla Grand Hall, built in 1923. It's quite beautiful and appropriate. The minister will wait for us there."

Mary gazed over her eyebrows at him. "What then?" Not letting him off the hook yet.

"He's giving us a few days at his Echo mountain condo that he lets for the season." Matthew loved this bit, but then his voice lowered, "I do have to be back by Thursday for my seminars. I had some thought about finding a replacement but it's rather late in the day."

"No Matthew." Mary reassured him, moving closer and giving his arm a squeeze, "I don't expect you to renege on your obligations. I know you came here to work. After we have our few days, I'll go back home. I can't have Jerry take everything on forever."

Matthew peeked back and forth between Mary and the road. "Will you wait until I get back to tell?"

"Oh yes" Mary divulged smugly. "As punishment for the Elvis chapel I'll have you tell Papa."

Matthew's face blanched in fear.

XX

Matthew chatted amiably with the non-denominational minister employed by the lodge to conduct the marriage services. They had already gone over the paper work and now it only required their signatures after the ceremony. Matthew wanted to make a good impression on the younger man who shared his interest it turned out in cricket.

"Back in the Punjab I played with the state team." Harbir Godara spoke to Matthew as they made their way up towards the fireplace where Matthew requested the service take place. Built in 1923, the Valhalla Grand Hall had beautiful wood floors, an open wood beam ceiling, a balcony of lodge pole construction, and a 20-foot high stone fireplace. The space was vast and just the two of them near the hearth made it instead intimate.

"I think I saw them play at Lord's one year. That's fantastic. I never made it past village cricket." Matthew was toying tensely with his sleeve. A surprise present from Mary the 9ct gold round mother of pearl cufflinks in the style of a button were made in the '20s and he loved them.

"Nervous?" Harbir asked, noticing Matthew's fidgeting.

"A bit." Matthew admitted. "As you probably know, this has been somewhat of a whirlwind."

The minister bowed his head. "Steffanie brought me in at the last minute so I thought it was something special. I don't usually perform Tuesday ceremonies."

Steffanie was the manager Matthew had a long conversation with the previous day making these arrangements. He hoped Mary was pleased with it all, especially after his prank earlier that day.

It still made him laugh. The look on her face when that Elvis impersonator made a move towards the car, quivering lip and all, directed right at his horrified fiancée.

The lip immobile in mid quiver at her subzero stare.

He could get away with that because he knew she'd love what he really planned. And as soon as they pulled up in the taxi to the Valhalla lodge, Mary's sharp intake of breath was all the validation he needed. The lake, the panoramic view, and mountains beyond were at their most perfect. She had turned, a look of delight such as he'd never seen before in her eyes.

They had kissed, and she had whispered a relieved, "thank you."

Matthew could say nothing. His heart beating fast, he clasped her hand and kissed it. Placing his fingers against her flushed cheek, they allowed the moment to sink in.

They were really going to do this. Matthew reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a ring box.

He handed it to her. Mary opened and Matthew was rewarded with another gasp of surprise at the diamond and platinum ring. He pulled it out of the nestled silk and placed it on her finger.

"My darling…" was all his choked-up voice could muster. "They're waiting for you upstairs to get ready."

Mary gave him one last kiss and went inside and up to the private dressing room. Matthew never even asked about the long carry bag containing, he presumed, her wedding gown.

He had less of an issue with choosing an appropriate suit. He had the Tom Ford tuxedo cleaned and pressed at the Aria and had bought a new shirt, silk tie, and handkerchief to finish off the look. The cufflink present the perfect personal touch.

And now the fire roared, sending a warmth in the chilly room.

As Mary entered to take the short walk to the hearth, Mozart's March of the Priests played quietly over the speakers.

Both men turned towards her.

Matthew saw a vision of loveliness descend towards him. The train of her gown sweeping behind her, Mary's eyes met his as she made her way towards her groom. She could see Matthew furtively biting his lip.

The last notes echoed as she took his hand into hers.

Matthew murmured before the minister began the ceremony, "You look so beautiful my darling."

Mary's eyes were shining, her hand shaking inside his.

They turned and Habir began in a deep, melodic voice "We are gathered here today…"

And then, "Would you please face each other and join hands. Matthew, Do you take Mary to be your wife? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her, forsaking all others  
and holding only to her forevermore?"

Matthew's cheek was wet with a single tear and his voice hoarse with emotion, "I do."

Habir turned to Mary and repeated the vows. Her tenderly murmured response of "I do" made Matthew smile. He looked up at her from beneath his eyelashes. She was so very happy, he felt lighter than air.

They exchanged rings and the final words "As you travel through life together, I caution you to remember that the true measure of success, the true avenue to joy and peace, is to be found within the love you hold in your hearts. I would ask that you hold the key to your heart very tightly."

Encouraged to kiss to pledge their troth, Mary and Matthew did so.

They released hands, Habir saying "Congratulations. Let's go sign the certificate."

And after the formalities were over, Steffanie came over. "We've got everything arranged as you requested," she whispered to Matthew.

He smiled and nodded as they stepped out once again into the great hall.

"What's up your sleeve now?" Mary followed him out, he stepping back to help her with the train of the gown. They kissed again.

Indeed Mary believed she never would stop kissing this man. He had given her the most romantic wedding for two she could ever have imagined.

"I arranged for a meal to be served in the alcove of the hall." He said, pointing over to where a candle lit table for two had been set. A bottle of champagne on ice.

Steffanie interrupted, "If I may, I think before the light goes we should have the photographer in."

The new bride and groom agreed. Mary retreated to freshen up while Matthew and Darcie Hanson, the hired photographer moved outside so they could capture the vista of the lake and the mountains beyond before the fading light of day made it impossible.

A series of photos later, both outside and then by the hearth Mary and Matthew finally sat down in the cosy alcove.

"I'm worn out." Mary slipped onto the comfortable chair that Matthew had pulled out for her.

"We have all the time in the world to rest." Matthew slipped a kiss along the nape of her neck, strands of her hair tickling him. "They don't have another event until much later. There might be some noise across the way, as they've got to get ready for a much larger wedding reception this week end."

"I'm fine. Just need some water." And she took a sip of the sparkling water arranged for her as she could not partake of the alcohol. Matthew cocked an eyebrow in question when he drew the champagne from the ice, and Mary relieved him by saying "Go ahead. Drink two. One for me as well as your own."

And Matthew smiled, pouring himself a glassful. It was dry and sparkling and just what he needed.

"To us." He said, holding his flute towards Mary. She did the same. "To us."

They sat back as the first course was served, a light soup.

Mary realized she was far more ravenous than she anticipated. The soup was delicious.

"I can say now I was a bit worried you might bolt." His eyes twinkled as he said it.

"Bolt?" Mary queried. "Why?" She delicately wiped the corner of her mouth after taking a spoonful.

"Well I did push the boat out a bit with the Elvis chapel."

She rolled her eyes, "Oh that!" She smirked playfully, "I will chalk that up to being in Vegas too long. It rubbed off on you."

"Better now?" He leaned in over the table.

"It's been a lovely surprise Matthew. I am overwhelmed with your effort." She took his hand.

"I'm glad." He kissed her palm. "And more than a little relieved." He always loved it when a plan came to fruition. This was, however, far more important than any business deal. "I had a lot riding on your approval."

"You more than have it, as I think you know." Mary said quietly. "I noticed you got quite emotional during the vows. You made me quite weak at the knees."

He blushed. "I was just overcome. You are so very, very beautiful."

"Is that all?" Mary looked troubled even at the compliment.

"It's a bit scary," He confessed. He closed his eyes, trying to find the words to articulate his fears.

"Is it because you've done this before? And it didn't end well?" She always truly astonished Matthew with her ability to discriminate his emotions.

Matthew faultered in his response, "I didn't think I should say anything on our wedding day. Didn't want to mar our bliss as they say."

Mary said quickly to help him out, "I think we need to enter this marriage with both eyes open and cards on the table. Otherwise we are a bit doomed."

Matthew appreciated her understanding, but would have none of this seriousness. He declared, "We will have such a wonderful life together." His voice was breathless with excitement. "I can't even begin to contemplate how much fun we're going to have."

The commotion in the room across the hall floor got louder. It was partitioned off but muffled noises of instruments wafted across to the couple dining in the window alcove.

Feedback made their ears hurt.

But that was fixed, and they heard a tapping of a microphone and a male singer started to sing

 _From the way you smile  
To the way you look  
You capture me  
Unlike no other  
From the first hello  
Yeah, that's all it took  
And suddenly  
We had each other_

And Matthew stood up to take his bride into his arms for a first dance. The words so fitting to how he felt upon first seeing Mary at that rooftop restaurant.

 _And I won't leave you  
Always be true  
One plus one, two for life  
Over and over again_

The refrain only reinforcing his commitment to this relationship.

 _Just put your heart in my hands  
Promise it won't get broken  
We'll never forget this moment  
It will stay brand new  
'Cause I'll love you  
Over and over again  
Over and over again_

Matthew gathered Mary into his arms, pushing her closer and closer to his body. She leaned her head on his shoulder as he led her around in a close circle. She felt weightless with joy.

The song ended.

They remained on the floor.

Alone. A world of two.

Matthew's hands grasped each side of her face and pulled her in for a deep kiss, the pressure of his lips on hers exquisite.

He turned to see that the partition had opened, and the band that had been practicing for a wedding yet to come, were now playing just for them. The staff must have told them about the private wedding supper in the corner. Matthew now noticed that they had garnered some attention from the servers who had stopped to watch them dance.

The female singer blew them a kiss, "this next one's for you as well."

And the words began, "I hold my breath and close my eyes/I've never felt so alive…."

Mary loved that song. A bit sentimental which was unusual for her, she liked the idea that her journey in life had made her strong, and ready to take on these new challenges of marriage and motherhood.

"I love you Matthew." She needed to say it again and again.

"My darling…" He swept her up into his arms and buried his face in the locks of her hair. Her scent intoxicating him. Her love making him want to be a better man.

They finished off a trifecta of dances with the male singer taking to the microphone in a cover of Luther Vandross's "Endless Love."

Then Matthew whispered, "Do you want to see this cabin then eh?"

"I can't wait." Mary let go of his arm.

They both turned to thank the employees, Matthew taking Steffanie aside saying how grateful he was to her attentions to detail making their wedding as perfect as it could be. He promised to send gratuities to both her staff as well as the band that so sweetly serenaded them.

Mary found her wrap and bag, the rest of her carry luggage had already been toted out to the waiting cab. Matthew met her at the door and they made their way towards the taxi. He gave directions and they were off.

Matthew had asked that Mary not remove her wedding gown until they arrived at their honeymoon destination.

"I want to do it." His voice heavy with emotion.

She would oblige.

XX

Michael Morton's rental condo was nestled in the countryside close Echo Mountain. Trees surrounded the property and each unit had their own private vista. The interior was rustic modern, with natural stones throughout in walls and floors, iron lighting fixtures and hardwood floors in the ultra outfitted kitchen. The fireplace faced both towards the living area and the master bedroom.

It had already been lit by the property manager, Matthew told Mary as he unlocked the door and she felt the immediate heat envelop her as she stepped over the threshold.

"Michael texted me he had the refrigerator stocked as well so we don't have to go anywhere tomorrow morning." He dropped their bags on the floor.

"This is marvelous Matthew. Maybe you should investigate properties around here. He probably makes a mint in leasing."

Matthew chuckled "I thought you said no work on honeymoon!" And he stole a kiss as she leaned over to get small zipped bag out of her luggage.

"But I do agree with the observation. Michael and I traveled around this area a couple days ago."

"Is that where you got the idea for the wedding?" She zipped the bag shut and carried it along with a shoulder bag into the bedroom. Matthew followed with the wheeled luggage.

"It is." Matthew fell on the bed with a relaxed thump. "Oh I am glad to be finally here."

Mary joined him, though her dress kept her upright on the bed. "But you weren't sure I would come back. How could you know?"

He opened his eyes, half slitted. "I was pining. What can I say?"

Mary pressed her hand against his torso, unbuttoning his jacket slowly.

He sighed in utter contentment.

"Should we unpack? Are you hungry?" She practically purred it, knowing his answer already.

Matthew opened one eye, "I'm hungry alright. Just not for food." His register pitched low, his arms already reaching out to pull Mary down on top of him.

"I have to have help with the buttons," Mary moaned in delight as his hands reached around waist to cup and massage her breasts. Matthew sat up and began to undo the series of silk buttons on the back of the gown. His fingers grazed along either side of her spine as each came undone. He pushed the sleeves off each shoulder, moving his hands along and placing delicate kisses along her clavicle. His hands moving to lightly caressing her skin.

Barely touching, he stroked the nodules of her spine as his fingers languidly moved down her back.

White, alabaster skin revealed. He could feel the warmth of her skin, sense her breathing. At his dancing fingertips, her flesh turned to goose pimple. He moved down her body, his greedy fingers slipping down to each rounded cheeks of her posterior. His lips brushed with small, quick kisses all along her back. Taking her in. His head dipped down, his tongue lightly flicking. His senses filled with anticipation of the carnal pleasures of the night yet to come.

Mary could hardly move, conscious of every touch, every tantalizing feel as her skin deliciously prickled and burned. She wanted it all. She opened herself to him. Matthew completely undressed her, her gown tossed and forgotten, adorning the hardwood floor beneath their feet.

His eyes instead roamed greedily up and down her naked form.

"Your turn." She tantalized in his ear. She felt along his tight torso. His muscles twitched with her ministrations. She roamed down to his bellybutton and his already taut erection. Soft grunts of about a second interval each followed as her hands massaged and manipulated his arousal.

He too was soon naked, his tuxedo a thing of the past and greeting her gown on the floor.

A crashing, burning love making session commenced. She was wet, ready for him. Needing him to put his fingers into her opened thighs. Ready for him to push her against the hardness of the headboard. His lips tearing into hers. She whimpered in delight. Making every part of her body tremble he continued to pry open her mouth and felt his tongue push its way down her throat.

"Lift up your arms." He both asked and commanded, his voice once again that guttural sound as if his life depended upon her acting as he wished.

She raised her arms up and he grabbed both and put them in a tight vise grip behind her. Using one hand he kept them there as he spread open her legs and pushed inside her. His thrusts made her lose all sense of control. She writhed in ecstasy.

But Matthew wasn't sure. "Am I hurting you?" Matthew's devastated voice met her ears.

He eased up a bit, letting go of her wrists.

"God no!" She rasped out hard and she pushed him back down on her, gripping his arse and scraping his fingernails along each cheek. His grip on her wrists had been strong, but pleasurable. She was enjoying the sensations of letting him take charge.

He got the message. Matthew would not let go. They were tied together, body and soul. She was all his. He was all hers.

Fire and desire became one as their bodies swayed against each other. Mary's tongue moved inside his mouth and gripped his with her lips. Their kisses became hard. She moved up and down on his tongue with her lips. He drove his body within hers in and out faster and deeper.

He felt her climax and extenuated it, grinding his rigid member against her most sensitive spot. Panting, guttural sound escaped as he drove the final thrust upwards of his release.

Satiation met, they lay entwined limbs and arms. Mary's hair splayed magnificently aware against the brocaded pillowcase.

"That was shattering, darling." Matthew managed with exhausted breath.

Mary's intense gaze met his for long seconds before she could utter any response. She wanted to soak in this moment. She moved closer to him, feeling his skin warm and inviting.

He covered her body with his own, his arms making her feel not only loved but safe. He kissed her shoulder.

"Can we lay by the fire?" Mary asked, looking around for blankets. Matthew lifted his head and glanced over at the fireplace.

It was blazing. Something else Michael's property manager had ready for them.

They left the bed, gathering all the duvets and blankets and Matthew arranged them near the hearth.

Mary threw a quilt around her shoulders and wandered around the condo's kitchen looking for some bottled water. The delicious love making session had made her mouth parched.

"Matthew!" She cried out excitedly. "Look here."

Matthew padded out in bare feet, not bothering to cover up. "What?"

"Darling… " Mary's face reddened seeing him naked in the kitchen. She glanced out the window to see if they had any neighbours.

He sidled up behind her, a cheeky smirk on his face. "There's no one. Just us." His lips on her neckline, making her shiver in delight. "I'll share your warmth."

She murmured inarticulate moans as his arms encircled her waist. And then he looked over her shoulder, "Oi look at that."

Mary had completely forgotten why she called him out as she was already feeling waves of erotic arousal once again.

But Matthew was distracted by the cake. Michael had managed to get a local baker to place a three-layer wedding cake with flowers flowing down each tier on the sideboard of the kitchen alongside another bottle of champagne.

"We have to have some of that." He laughed. "There's some Perrier as well. Let's have a picnic in front of the fire."

Matthew rummaged around the drawers until he found a cake knife. It was raspberry and lemon sponge and he cut while Mary found some plates.

They carried their riches towards the living room and spread out the quilt on the carpeted space. Matthew nudged one of the sofas closer and they leaned against it, Mary spreading another of the duvets around her legs as she curled them up underneath.

Matthew's mobile buzzed and he glanced at it, as it was located just on the side table.

"It's the photographer. She's sent some photos in her message. Says more will come but she thought we'd like to see a selection."

"Lovely." Mary looked over his fingers as he clicked on the text.

A series of about five pictures opened. One of the couple standing on the balcony overlooking the lake, the waters reflecting the oranged ochre of the waning sun.

"Mama will love that one." Mary said, sliding forward to see another of them seated on an iron bench with the large windows of the Valhalla hall behind them. "She has one of her and Papa just like it seated at Downton."

Matthew moved ahead to see the others, "I had no idea she had was even there," he noted as he handed the mobile to Mary. The photographer had caught them in mid dance, Mary's long train flowing as Matthew swept her across the floor. It encapsulated for Matthew his favorite moment of their wedding. "That's the happiest moment of my life. It was just us. Our time." His voice slightly choked up as his eyes focused on the image.

Mary loved that he said that. It truly meant he had shed the last of his lingering tendrils of guilt and was committed to being with her, no baggage. Nothing to keep them in the past.

Matthew put down the mobile in order to embrace his bride once again. "Are you happy?" He snuggled into the duvet.

After a few minutes cuddling, Matthew reached for the plate of cake.

"Oh yes," Mary's mouth opened to accept the forkful Matthew had served to her. "That is delicious," Mary's tongue licked her lips, flicking it out to capture a lingering spot of frosting.

Matthew put the fork down.

"You're delicious…" He couldn't resist saying, his hand straying to affix some loose strands of hair around her shoulder.

His voice, dry and pitched low, Matthew reached over and completely undid the duvet so that her naked form was visible to his hooded, dark eyes. "Come here…"

"What about the cake?" Mary kidded as she too succumbed to need.

"It'll wait…" His barely audible rasp as his fingers delicately encircled her peaked nipples, his tongue grazing the tips making her completely helpless in his arms once again.

XX

 _I love happy Mary and Matthew. I hope you do too! A Thanksgiving giftie to American readers.  
Reviews always loved and appreciated. Thank you to everyone who has read, favorited, reviewed this story. Still a lot to go—telling the family next! _


	21. Chapter 21: Intimacy

XX

They had fallen asleep in front of the fire. The duvet had fallen around Mary's belly, leaving her semi-naked in the glow of the hearth.

Matthew was awake. He had no idea of the time, nor did he care. He had gotten up to stoke the fire with some extra wood after pulling on the sweats from his luggage. And then he saw the sketch book peeking out of his smaller bag. The hardback leather drawing book was a gift from Mary. Made of good quality paper and larger than his previous pads, Matthew itched to get started using it.

He grabbed the book and returned to the living room.

Mary was still asleep. A goddess slumbering, Matthew couldn't help think.

She was so exquisitely beautiful.

He realized, taking a seat in the deep cushioned chair by the fireplace and pulling out the pencil and opening his drawing pad, he could sketch Mary every day for the rest of his life and he'd never grow bored.

He wanted to know her in all her moods.

An idea dawned. He opened a blank page and intently began to sketch.

Matthew's lip was pushed to the right side of his lip as he concentrated on getting Mary's shoulder just right. His eyes quickly scanned back and forth between his sleeping beauty model and the cartridge papered sketchbook. His graphite pencils at hand, he moved quickly to capture her while maintaining an eye to detail.

The curve of her shoulder.

The summit of her breast.

The shading around her nipple.

Her abdomen just beginning to show the rounded curve of pregnancy.

A flutter in his heart as his eyes witnessed that truth.

Their lives together, so fragilely begun, was about to change yet again. They had barely had time to get to know one another.

And now this.

Why wasn't he more nervous? He pondered that question as he sketched.

In regarding his sleeping wife Matthew knew why. His wife. Mary was his wife. They had done this crazy thing and there was no retreat from it. He had moved into a new phase of his life. One where he could not afford to indulge in wallowing over his past failures.

This needed to succeed on all cylinders. They needed to show no doubt. A united front that their life was theirs alone. To live as they see fit.

And that was the answer. He wanted to be here. Right here. He would be Mary's strength whenever she needed him to be. And in order to be that, he needed to realize Mary was his strength. There was possibly no way to excuse his past behaviour to his mother, to explain their presumed irresponsibility to her parents.

They really only had to understand it between them.

That whatever life brought them would not be beyond their love.

They would make it work.

Matthew's fingers hovered over the pencil marks indicating the strokes drawing Mary's belly, a fierce protectiveness overcoming him.

He'd do everything in his power to ensure the happiness of his family.

Matthew's eyes narrowed as he concentrated on the delicacy of Mary's fingers.

He looked up to check his accuracy, and noticed that Mary's eyes had opened and were contemplating him, the warm glow from the fire reflective in her pupils.

She blinked slowly, a flirtatious move meant to distract him. She moved her head slightly upward.

Matthew's brow furrowed a tad in disapproval.

Mary moved her head back, saying nothing but lifted an eyebrow.

Matthew looked back with quiet regard, smiling as he blew some graphite off the paper. Then continued to sketch.

Mary remained still, letting him work. She watched him; feeling his eyes on her as he critically twitched his nose and manipulated his thumb against the image to create some shading.

She felt alive and deeply loved.

He had an artist's eye and a lover's reverence for her body. Not an object meant only to enhance and show off his skills, but joined together in the creative process. Mary felt connected to him in a way she had not expected.

To share this with him.

To know him in this intimate way.

It made her love him all the more.

She finally ventured an observation, "I feel quite like Kate Winslet in Titanic."

Matthew smirked and looked at her, "Does that make me Leo? Please no, as doesn't he drown?"

Mary shrugged insouciantly. "Only because Rose doesn't let him on that door in the water. I'm sure she could have saved him if she really wanted too…"

Matthew chuckled. "Maybe she didn't like his painting."

"I hope I don't have to do the same." Mary mocked.

"Oh no worries." Matthew's mouth twitched in amusement. "I'm a much better artist."

Matthew looked up, a more serious look on his face. "I do have a question."

Mary's unspoken request with her eyes met with a nod from Matthew. She sat up and put the quilt around her shoulders. "What?"

"I'd like to draw you every month or so during the pregnancy. A series if you will…so" He scratched the scruff on his face as he had yet shaved, "…to capture the changes in your body as the baby grows inside."

"That would be lovely." Mary said. "Would I have to be in the nude every time?" She said it quite seductively. "I might not always appeal."

He snorted lightly. "Of course you will." He watched Mary over his drawing book. "You do know that?" He gave her a long look, stating genuinely, "I will love you in all your incarnations. I'm not so shallow a man as that."

"I know." Mary assured him, but then admitted "I'm not so sure I will. I already feel tired all the time. I can't imagine how it'll be when I resemble a beached whale."

Matthew finished up the last strokes of his sketch. He closed the pad and moved down to sit beside Mary. She leaned her head on his shoulder.

You're glowing, you know," He said. "You're so very, very beautiful. But have all these trips been too much? I have an idea I'd like to suggest about your return home."

"Oh?" Mary snuggled closer. "I do need to keep tabs on the Stables."

"But you can do that using Face Time or something. Keep in contact with Jerry, but stay here. We have this place for the whole week. I have to go back to Vegas for the seminars on Thursday and Friday but you can stay here. Rest."

"Without you?" Mary was confused.

"No. I can fly back here each night." He said. "Then catch one to Vegas early the next morning."

"Why don't I just come back to Vegas with you then?"

"I prefer it here. Don't you?" He wrapped his arms around her. "We can do anything we like. In utter privacy." His lips were playing against her skin, making it tickle in delight.

"Matthew I have responsibilities." Mary stirred, suddenly restless. "The horses don't take care of themselves. I have staff. Deadlines."

He nuzzled her neck, "…And you need to rest. You know as well as I that the horses are in good hands with Jerry. You've made sure of that. You're not being a bad owner of your business by taking some time away."

"Maybe not. Indulgent perhaps."

"It's a time for indulgence." He tried to continue his attentions along the nape of her neck.

Mary stiffened in opposition though. "Because I'm pregnant? That's old fashioned. I can work and take care of myself." Mary twisted her head away from him.

Matthew sat up. "Of course you can," he agreed, adding softly "but very soon our lives will change forever. I'm looking forward to it, but right now I want to pamper you." He clasped her hand. "My first duty as your husband. We're the only ones who know what we've done. I want …." He swallowed, "I want to enjoy, to indulge every single moment of it." He reached out to her, but waited her response.

She looked at him, his eyes guided like a magnet to pierce deep into her own. Dark, possessive eyes. Hungry for her. His voice rich and deep, always seeming to catch her off guard. His words chosen carefully to reassure without the condescension she had felt from other men.

She could get very used to that. That both excited and provoked her. Had she left the clumsier attempts to control her life by Henry, only to be seduced by a man with better technique?

And there was no doubt the self-assured man before her had game. He pushed all her buttons, and some she didn't even know she had.

There'd be plenty of time to fight it. To show that she had plenty moves of her own.

But, as Mary accepted his protective arms again around her and felt her opposition melt away, not right now.

"You have the most ridiculously blue eyes. I can never deny them anything." She teased. "I didn't enter this marriage, though to be commanded."

"You can command me any time you want," tormenting her again with that beguiling dark tone. Matthew affixed the quilt back around her shoulders where it had fallen, sneaking a light kiss before doing so.

"I will call Jerry later today." Mary said. "Tell him I'll be back Sunday."

Matthew relaxed. "Thank you."

Mary yawned, languidly stretching against his torso. "What time is it anyway?"

"No idea…" Matthew laughed softly. He grabbed his mobile from the end table. " Going on 5am."

Mary moaned, "Well I'm starting right now in all the indulging. I usually get up at this hour to exercise and see the horses are fed. I'm instead going back to bed."

"Agreed." Matthew said, getting up and pulling her up into his arms. "I'll forgo finding a rowing club in Tahoe. It's rather cold anyway." He looked out the large glass window, overlooking Echo mountain. "I think it might snow."

"Will be snowed in?" Mary liked that idea. They made their way towards the bedroom. She paused, "Can I see the drawing?"

Matthew pulled the sketch book from under the quilt. His hand hesitating just ever so briefly before he handed it to her.

"Do you want me too?" Mary did not reach out to take it. "I understand if it's private."

Matthew's mouth opened then closed. It was private. The most private part of himself. He hardly ever let anyone look at his art. Especially the more intimate works. He remembered when they went to see Mary's horse purchase, not really that many months ago, a part of him was irritated she had looked inside.

He had first realized an artistic inclination around the age of eight. He had drawn animals at the zoo in a school project and his primary teacher took notice. They had been slightly off kilter and yet still life like. Matthew had been concerned about failing the project and told her he'd do it again, this time more accurately. Instead she had smiled, and told him he had real talent. After that he had been guided into art classes as extensions to his regular curriculum. One of his sixth form teachers had said he could segue such an interest into a number of different careers including engineering or computer graphics.

Matthew never pursued those paths. He had known even then his art was his own. He had no interest in using it to select a career or to sell it for personal gain.

But with that came the sense of proprietary ownership. It was his and his alone. His stress reliever. His creative outlet. Sometimes the doodling would engage his brain and allow him to find a different way out of a problem. Sometimes he'd draw a farcical caricature of a client to relieve the boredom.

He got to the point where he never let anyone see it. Perhaps because that client wouldn't like it. That another might critique his style or his decision to interpret a scene in such a way. He didn't want to hear anything about how or why he drew what he drew.

So the upshot was that he very seldom let anyone see them. Lavinia had been one of the very few to have access to them, and even then, she would ask to look. Knowing that it was important for him to know she understood his privacy.

As Mary was now doing.

Matthew had let Lavinia look at his drawings, but he never felt comfortable with her doing so. She knew it. Had resented it. Begun to call it jokingly his doodle pad to try to minimize the tension between them. She knew that his art captured the most intimate part of himself.

The part he never let her in. She tried. Hoping it would strengthen their bond. Their love.

It was for nothing.

Matthew wouldn't do it. Afraid to lose that privacy. To lose himself.

The last good part of his being. He had sold himself to his work, to the accumulation of money. He knew why he did so. To create a solid business. To maintain profits for his employees. To allow his wife to live a certain amount of comfort and splendour.

But he kept his art for himself. So he was not used to sharing that part of himself.

And look where it had gotten him? He had success. But he had not true happiness. As much as it pained him to know that, it was true.

He had not true happiness until Mary entered his life.

And now he wanted to share everything with her. He wanted to.

He let go the last of the barriers between them.

Matthew released the book. "I would very much love for you to look." He said in a subdued tone, a bare whisper.

Mary felt the frisson between them. He was giving himself completely to her.

She trembled at the implication of such trust. Was she worthy of it?

"I love you so terribly much." Matthew said.

She accepted the book from his hand. Accepted his gift. "I know you do."

Mary held the book close to her chest. She gripped it tight.

Matthew understood the gesture.

There needed to be no more words between them.

XX

Later, the sheets mussed and strewn about the floor, she felt him slip inside and quivered as each of the sensations exquisitely touched the most intimate parts of her body. His kisses lingering, blissful.

She gave herself to him.

He accepted it, knowing it was the most private part of herself.

She had told him once she doubted she had a heart. Instead he realized it was just that she feared giving it away.

He would never betray the trust she bestowed on him this night.

They had sealed their fate with these gestures. These unspoken promises.

A new life together begun.

XX

 _I know this is just a little interlude, but once I started writing it… I felt it couldn't be attached to any larger piece of the story. I hope you liked it._


	22. Chapter 22: The Reveal

XX

"Mary," Sybil approached her sister as she heard the door open. "Let me help," grabbing the large garment bag from Mary's twisted fingers. When everything was on the floor in the foyer they hugged. "I'm glad you're back. You look different. The desert sun must suit you."

Mary had to sneak a smile at that. It had been actually quite cold in Lake Tahoe where she had spent the majority of her recent stay.

All the way back she was flooded with memories. Matthew had seen her off at the chartered plane terminal at McCarren where she would fly to JFK and switch to a larger transatlantic jet.

He kissed her long and hard, "I miss you already."

The lingering feel of his lips on hers allowing her to replace the hubbub of the airport and the noises of engine take off inside a cocoon of sensations and memories.

She had loved being with him at the condo. Matthew had flown back and forth from Vegas on chartered jets each day of his seminar, so she had long hours alone.

She had spent the week doing almost absolutely nothing at all. And it was wonderful. She couldn't remember a time when she had given herself such a luxury. Jerry had kept her informed twice a day on the horses via Face Time. They had done much the same when she was away in London so the two were used to working from a distance. Matthew was right in that she trusted Jerry implicitly to care for Jellybean, Mr. Banks, and the other horses stabled at Downton. Mary had him open the office to Claire, the temp office help so she could also pay some bills and listen to the voicemails left on the land line. She had already contacted Maggie Mason, the only student scheduled for that week as the others were younger and not as interested in continuing their training when the weather turned cold. Maggie understood that Mary would return and they'd have a talk about the future. She also promised to help out Claire in the office.

Mary felt everything was well in hand. So she relaxed. She slept and rested a great deal. The snow had been light and had not interfered with Matthew's flights. They had spent the time together completely apart from the world. They made love, ate meals by the fireplace, and took walks in the snow. The space allowed them to get to know each other.

The one's moods.

The other's irritations.

Mary discovered Matthew hardly ever forewarned her that he was late or coming in early, assuming that Mary would be busy doing other things and it hardly mattered when he showed up.

She thought otherwise.

Matthew soon realized Mary's level of organizational tidiness clashed with his own. Even though Lavinia would laugh and say his desk was a mess, Matthew generally always knew the location of everything he needed. He was neat with his clothing and always either put dirty dishes immediately in dishwasher or cleansed them by hand at the sink.

Mary seemed to think it was all optional.

He had shrugged it off, rationalizing that once they settled down more permanently, she'd see it was better his way.

Mary thought Matthew would be more considerate once their schedules were back to normal.

Neither really wanted to start petty arguments. At least not on the honeymoon. Therefore they both danced around the biggest elephant in the room, the issue of telling the family about their new marital state. And Mary's pregnancy.

"We have to be in some contact with the outside world if just to say we're alive," Matthew half joked as he stirred the pot of pasta the night before she was to leave.

He had made the one dish he knew by heart. Mary loved the primavera, scooping the last into her mouth, and licking her lips slowly while giving him a wink much to Matthew's delight. But Matthew also noticed she left her plate unwashed in the sink afterward. He not so surreptitiously washed it while they talked about finishing their binge watching Westworld on HBO.

She did not offer to help with the dishes.

Matthew's lip twitched at the edge in amusement.

About an hour later Mary was rightly confused by the plot that played around with the nature of reality and human frailties. But she refused to give in and began to watch the penultimate episode. Matthew slipped out of her arms and moved towards the kitchen. She thought he was refilling his mug of coffee but instead she heard his hushed speaking voice. Soon it became clear he spoke with his mother back in Manchester.

Mary left the living room to go to Matthew. He leaned against the countertop, his eyes beetled back and forth. Mary knew that signaled Matthew's unease at deceiving his mother. She knew also that any rift with Isobel hurt Matthew.

He licked his lips rapidly, "Yes Mother, I'm fine. Just busy. I know I've not been in touch …" His voice strained, tense. "I'm sorry about that. We'll have dinner when I get back to make up for it. I'll book us a table at your favorite place, L'Atelier."

When he rang off, he slumped heavily against the counter. Mary walked over. "You okay?"

He gave her a short nod, but said nothing. His eyes stared straight ahead, seeing nothing.

Mary ventured, "Should I be with you when you tell her?"

"No." His tone was abrupt. "I'll tell her by myself." He said nothing else.

Mary turned to leave him alone. Matthew's hand stayed her movement. He tugged on her arm, giving her a ragged voiced apology. "I'm sorry," he said, pulling her in for a hug. But he said no more about it.

They left the TV on as they escaped to the privacy of the bedroom. He needed her. She felt it.

No words required. She led him to the bed. Undid the ties to her robe. Beneath, she was naked. His breath caught in his throat as she revealed herself to him. She flicked open each side of the robe seductively.

Slowly running her fingers along the slender nape of her neckline, Mary's tongue slipped around the edges of her mouth in a motion intent upon mesmerizing Matthew.

Her eyes stared boldly into his. His intent look induced within her a sensation of such orgiastic need, Mary laid down on the bed, her legs apart. Her fingers inched towards her inner thigh.

She sighed leisurely, her eyes half lidded in erotic pleasure. Still taking in Matthew who watched her, rapt with fascination.

Her invitation was clear.

Matthew moved to gently lay beside her. His fingers floated softly over her breasts. She panted at his touch. His tongue tasted her. Light licks and flicks caressing her skin, arousing her to peaks of desire.

He wanted to devour her.

Or be devoured by her….

All his senses were on fire when she took him by surprise.

Mary scrambled on top of his body. She skimmed her breasts against his hot skin. Her lips enwrapped his engorged arousal and her tongue, slick and slippery, started to move in strong strokes up and down. Her arms maneuvered around his body. Her head bobbed as her fingers squeezed his buttocks in rhythm to his own uncontrollable bucking against her mouth. Her nails pinched him to deepen his climax. His body stiffened and his mouth was dry.

She took the tip and stroked it with her mouth and tongue.

Matthew's mouth opened to bursts of syncopated barely audible sounds of increased strength as the sensations wracked his body. Intense, glorious torrents of heat and sexual frenzy. "Oh…. fuck fuck Mary," his voice in dry heaves.

He could hardly breathe. Or think. His concentration solely on Mary. Her hair wantonly tossed along his lower torso, she moved back and forth between taking all of him and then flicking her tongue and squeezing her lips to increase his tormented pleasure. Guttural sounds sprang helplessly from his mouth. The pleasure was such that he had never before experienced it.

Transcendant. Voracious. It took over his body. Like tickling, stinging sensations along every nerve fibre, he was desperate for it to go on forever.

He trembled as he came, his chest rising and falling as he tried to catch his breath. A waterfall of bliss surrounded him.

He was shattered into a million pieces. His body slumped, sweat pouring down his cheeks.

Mary released him, a satisfied smile snaking across her face.

Matthew's eyes fluttered. He could not speak. His body still shuddering in ecstasy.

She moved towards the bathroom to cleanse.

Matthew, his senses returning, followed her.

They ended up in the shower. The water was steaming hot. The multiple massaging jets pulsated against their bodies.

Mary spread her legs open to Matthew's face and touch. His hands roamed freely over her breasts, abdomen, and lower torso. He reached with his tongue and his lips towards her G spot. He licked and pushed his tongue in and out of the center.

She pulled towards him, groaning louder with each flick and pressure point met. He rubbed harder, his tongue like sensual sandpaper furthering her pleasure peaks. He seemed relentlessly determined to give her a mind-blowing climax. He sucked and lapped harder and deeper until she uttered a piercing groan and pushed her knees and thighs against his face until he thought he could no longer breathe.

He continued to push her to sweet torment, until she gasped one final time, shivered and shook in a deliciously slow motion slide against the wall of the shower. Matthew's arms protecting her as they curled limbs and heads against each other.

…Mary remembered all of that night on the long flight back home. They had stayed locked in various forms an embrace, unable and unwilling to let go.

To never break with each other.

Realizing that as one, they were strong.

And now she was apart from him. She felt bereft. A missing part of herself.

Was that why she was down? Had he already made her weaker? She feared that, plunging headlong into this relationship. She would feel too much.

The helpless, empty feeling she had gazing upon his pained expression when he spoke with Isobel haunted her as she took that long flight home alone. She wanted nothing more than to take away his pain.

Was this what it was like to love? To be loved?

Mary returned to her London townhouse, speaking just briefly to Matthew in Las Vegas before he was to venture to Vancouver, BC with Morton to scout more property development opportunities. He had called her to make sure she had arrived back in the UK safely. He had rung off shortly thereafter saying nothing more than he loved her and would be back on Saturday night.

She missed him with an ache she knew would never go away until he was in her arms again.

Realizing that made Mary shiver. But she could not long take time to reflect because Sybil greeted Mary with a burst of energy. She had been house sitting and so knew her sister had extended her stay in America. After they hugged, Mary merely smiling at her sister's reference to her looks.

Matthew had said she had that pregnant glow.

Maybe she could just say it was the winter desert sun and let it go at that.

Edith was to arrive within the hour. "Have a good catch up." Sybil was done for the term and she was ready just to relax.

"Where's the corkscrew?" Sybil pulled a wine bottle out of the short rack on Mary's countertop.

"Umm.." Mary glanced around. "Must be in the cutlery drawer."

"Want some?" Sybil held up the zinfandel.

Mary rubbed her brow, saying she hoped with a studied non chalance, "No. I've got to drive back tomorrow morning early to Downton."

"You could have said…" Sybil looked concerned. "We don't have to have dinner."

Mary responded quickly, "No. No. I wanted to see you both. It was just a long flight."

Sybil looked more closely at her sister. "You do look a bit peaky now I see you closer. Your face is fuller too. Are you retaining water?"

Mary's hands flew to her now flushed cheeks. "Of course not..." But that didn't fool her sister.

"If I didn't know better …." Sybil began to assess Mary critically.

"Sybil …" Mary's short tempered exasperation with her sister's keen observational skills were heard in her tone. "Why not keep your opinions to yourself."

Sybil stopped talking. Stared at Mary. Unblinking. All knowing.

Mary's eyes slowly closed, her shoulders slumped. She knew …. Sybil knew… and the jig was up. Mary threw up her hands. "I didn't mean that the way it came out."

In a gesture that took Mary by complete surprise, Sybil immediately rushed over and gave her sister a big hug. "I think it's wonderful!"

Neither had to state the obvious.

"You do?" Mary was dryly skeptical.

"No…" Sybil admitted, smirking when she released Mary from the embrace. "I think you must be out of your mind. But I don't want to sound unsupportive. It's all the thing today having kids whenever you want with whoever you want. Papa won't like you not being married. Or that the dad I'm presuming is a very recently divorced man he already loathes."

And that brutal honesty was exactly why Mary did not want to have this conversation with Sybil.

They were interrupted by the knock on the door.

Mary opened it for Edith. They kissed cheeks.

If she had to tell someone before Matthew arrived back, her sisters were her best bet.

She could use the moral support she'd probably receive.

After they gave her a right verbal bollocking.

As if to prove Mary's unspoken belief Sybil bluntly announced to Edith, "Mary's pregnant with Matthew's baby. She's afraid to tell Papa."

"That's not entirely true…" Mary's attempt to contradict Sybil's words were shut down with a glare from her.

"We won't be able to help unless you tell us everything." Sybil reasoned.

Edith, still taking it all in, stepped to Mary's defense. "She can tell us when she wants to." But even she looked with concern over at her sister

Mary signaled defeat. "Sybil's right. There is no point in denying the truth." And she gestured for both women to sit at the table. "And really, I don't want to. There's nothing wrong. It's all actually quite wonderful."

And in that moment of honest clarity, she took out her engagement ring and wedding band and placed them back where they belonged. On the third finger of her left hand. Where Matthew had initially slipped them on her finger on their wedding day.

A flicker of that memory crossed Mary's face as she did so. It felt so good to rid herself of all the pretense.

Sybil's burble of excitement was unmistakable. "Oh my God Mary!" A squeak of delight. "Married? Really?"

Edith shook her head, trying to catch up. "You married Matthew? In America?"

Mary clasped both her sister's hands and responded calmly responded, "Yes. On Tuesday of last week."

Edith was astonished. "And the baby?"

Mary reclined back in the chair. Took a deep breath as both Edith and Sybil awaited her answer. "Yes. I'm about two months along. I will go back to see my ob-gyn next week with Matthew to get the first ultrasound."

"Two months?" Sybil was incredulous. "Talk about one and done!"

Mary scowled, "Don't be vulgar. "

Sybil rejoined, "You started it. And…Matthew of course." Dragging out his name as a wicked smile crossed her face.

Mary had to shake her head in a wry smile. "I know. I know. It could sound very sordid. Believe me I've gone over and over it in my head on the return flight. How to tell everyone? We want to tell the news to Mama and Papa together, but I'm glad you know. At least I have a sense of how they might react."

"What about granny? She'll certainly have something to say." Edith noted, pouring herself a glass of wine.

Mary could respond with relief, "She already knows."

"How?" Both sisters asked at virtually the same moment. Sybil adding, "over the phone? She'd hate that."

"No. In person." Mary explained. "I went to Las Vegas to tell Matthew about the baby as soon as I found out. He … He was on the verge of asking me to marry him, I wasn't quite ready to accept. So I escaped back to Downton to think only to find no one there. So I stayed with Granny and she and I talked. She made me think out what I…" She paused, "…what we were doing. Did we want this to last? Were we getting married to please the family? Or because we love each other?"

She turned her rings absent mindedly as she spoke, "To give him a chance to prove that he meant what said when he divorced. That he would spend the rest of his life working to make our life a happy one."

"And will he?" Edith asked seriously, her hand gripping Mary's. "If so, you have my full support."

Sybil leaned closer, awaiting Mary's response. Her eyes dark and full with love.

Mary had to answer honestly. "I hope so. I guess only time will tell."

"The ever-practical Lady Mary Crawley." Sybil replied sarcastically. "Don't you ever let your heart out of that cage?"

Mary blinked rapidly. Tears formed at the side of her face. Oh God what has that man done to me? I'm getting soft in the head. "I do." She tried to sound firm. "I'm just not used to it."

Sybil's chair moved closer to Mary's. "Then get used to it." She said with emphasis. "Don't let this chance of happiness slip out of your fingers. I'm glad you realize it's going to take time, but don't let your fears overtake the love."

Mary tried to stem the tears. "Goodness, it must be the baby making me do this." She tried to straighten up in the chair.

She was trembling, so unlike her. She crooked her head to each of her sisters in turn, "Thank you for understanding and being on my side. I know I'm not always the easiest person to get along with but I think I'm going to need your support more than ever." She paused, then amended it to "We will need it. I want you to love Matthew as much as I do. Papa will take some persuading. There are secrets between them. I don't know what they are and Matthew says they have nothing to do with him. But I fear the fallout has just begun."

Sybil reached for the wine bottle again. "I will do your drinking for you then. We're all going to need it."

They shared a needed laugh.

Edith then chimed in with. "Since we got all that angst out of the way, can I now be completely shallow and ask to see those gorgeous rings up close. Not that I don't love the rings Bertie chose, but my goodness those settings are stunning."

Mary, so pleased her siblings were willing to give Matthew the benefit of that doubt, held out her left hand for both to see.

XX

The flight home uneventful, Matthew arrived at his flat in time to shower, change into his best grey suit, and hail a taxi. The weather had turned cold and damp so he pulled on a coat and gloves. He had already texted Mary several times to tell her he'd arrived back and would call her later that night. She was dining with the Masons who had traveled to York to see their daughter compete.

Matthew was to pick his mother up by 7:30 at her hotel as she hated traveling in his two seater. They'd ride together to the restaurant. He had confirmed the reservation already.

In the taxi he mulled over yet again how best to tell her the news. He had marshalled his arguments like his days at uni performing moot court procedures. He loved Mary. She loved him. They were having a child. They got married.

Simple.

Straightforward.

The absolute truth.

He groaned and pushed his fingers against his forehead. Who was he kidding. She'll be right royally pissed.

He had no more time to think about it as the taxi pulled up to the hotel in Mayfair. She, of course, was waiting on the pavement outside.

Matthew smiled and got out to help her. He kissed her cheek, "hello Mother."

They piled back inside the taxi and he gave instructions to L'Atelier in Covent Garden and sat back against the seat.

"How was your day?" He asked, the pleasantries taking over for a bit.

Before the fall.

"Lovely. I had lunch with Mavis at the hospital. She's still going strong even at 85 doing volunteer work." Isobel chatted a bit more, but Matthew lost the thrust of the conversation.

He was still deep in thought when Isobel turned, said "Of course that was before she took off for the moon." And raised an eyebrow.

"That's nice…" He muttered vaguely. And then did a double take. "What?"

She smiled sardonically. "Thank you for coming back to Earth. Whatever is on your mind?"

Matthew didn't have a chance to answer. The taxi had gotten stuck in traffic. The driver informing them it might take some time to get to their destination.

Matthew grunted noisily and paid the fare. He exited the vehicle and helped his mother out the other passenger side. They walked in silence the few blocks to Covent Garden.

"I might start a shift at the local retirement home myself…" Isobel returned to the subject of her friend.

Matthew knew it was now or never.

They had nearly arrived at the restaurant. Matthew said, "I have something to tell you Mother." He took a deep breath. "I've… erm… I've gotten married."

But Isobel didn't quite hear in the rush of wind as the door to the restaurant opened.

"What's that dear? I don't think I heard you…" She took her son's arm.

They both stood on the threshold of L'Atlier. The hostess opening the door to escort them inside.

"Let's…. Let's get out of this wind." Matthew shivered. He had no idea if it was because of the cold or what he was about to divulge.

Again. Irritated that he chose the moment poorly, he followed her inside to the warmth.

Isobel gave her jacket to the coat check monitor. Matthew had helped out of her coat before taking off his gloves.

He took them off. Isobel happened to look down just at that moment.

"What is that?" She asked, staring down at his left hand. "That is not your wedding band. Why do you have that on? What did you say just before? I thought I must have heard you wrong." Her voice got slightly shrill.

The look she gave Matthew was one of utter astonishment.

He swallowed hard, his eyes beetling back and forth. Dammit, he thought. He had not ever considered taking off the ring before meeting his mother for dinner.

Only way ahead is forward.

"I said I am remarried. This is my new wedding ring. Mary and I exchanged vows while I was in America. I want to tell you all about it." Matthew was proud of himself. He had managed to get it out without any hesitations. He wanted to sound confident. Happy. Because he was.

The maître d' waited for Matthew to tell their reservation. He then waved them inside and escorted them to a corner of the restaurant.

There was no more time to talk until they arrived at their table.

The Sommelier approached. Matthew ordered a glass of Côtes-du-Rhône Rouge, his mother's favorite. He would complete the rest when they ordered their food. He wanted a whisky desperately, but decided a clear head was needed for what was to come.

His fingers thrummed on the table.

Isobel looked expectantly. "You were saying…" She'd give him no quarter.

"I think you heard me Mother." He stood his ground as well. There was nothing to be ashamed about. This was a time for confidence. "Mary and I are married."

But he bit the side of his mouth as he spoke.

Isobel thanked the server who brought her wine glass. She set it on the table. "You married while on this business trip?"

"Yes." His one word response. He realized he should probably say something else. "In Lake Tahoe actually. Not Las Vegas."

"Well that does make a difference," his mother observed a little too coolly.

Matthew sighed heavily.

Isobel tried to be patient with her son, but his deliberate subterfuge was frustrating. "You were just divorced after all."

Matthew's head turned nervously from side to side. This was the tricky part. Okay, his mind replied to himself sarcastically the whole thing was the tricky part. He cleared his throat, "Mary's pregnant. We …." Damn, the hesitations again. "...thought it was the best thing."

"I see." His mother's only response. She fell silent in thought.

Matthew scratched his ear. "She's about two months along." Hoping that might help somehow, he realized too late it would only set off alarm bells.

"Two months?" Isobel's mouth opened wide in bewilderment. "You mean you were with her while married to Lavinia?"

Matthew closed his eyes. He knew his mother would take Lavinia's side. As it should be he knew. He had given her little time to adjust and she thought of her ex daughter in law like her own child. He had torn that relationship asunder.

But he wouldn't look back.

"We were separated," His answer strained.

"Semantics." Isobel shot back. "It all sounds very tawdry and sordid. I'm frankly in shock Matthew. You seem a completely different person from the son I raised. You were married. Settled down. And then all this happened. With a woman I've not even met. That you now tell me consorted in an affair while she knew you were married. And now you want me to accept some quickie wedding because you want to hide the shame of a child born of an affair and out of wedlock?"

Matthew tried to hold in his anger. His mother had every right to vent. "I know it is a lot to take in…"

"It's the height of irresponsibility." Her words curt. Meant to hurt.

"We are married. We are having a child. I think it is very responsible." He lashed back. "Many a mother might be glad that a son married the mother of his child."

"I'd assume most would be happier if it was done without the repugnancy of an affair."

Mother and son fell silent again. Matthew's mouth was tightly shut. He had no real answer to that. "I am sorry it appears that way to you. I take full responsibility for my actions. I know you think I betrayed my marriage. And maybe I did, but it is all in the past now. I'm divorced. I don't intend to look back anymore. You can visit Lavinia whenever you want, but my first loyalty now is to Mary and our child. I won't have you bringing bitterness into it. I want you to know Mary. If you knew her, you'd not think badly about her. The baby was unexpected, yes…"

Isobel felt like she had been hit by a body blow. It was taking her a great deal of time to recover. She had never spoken so harshly to Matthew. She knew he hated speaking the same back to her.

She tried again, more calmly. "I am just very surprised Matthew. You got married without telling me."

"Or anyone actually." He confessed. "Mary came to tell me the news of the baby. She accepted my proposal. It…" He threw his hands up as he tried to explain how it felt at the time. "It felt right to do it then. To start living the rest of your life with the woman you loved. To not wait, or hesitate."

He felt his mother soften slightly, so he plunged ahead, "I have found the love of my life, Mother. You may not want to hear it but it is the truth. I am happy." Matthew smiled suddenly, the edges of his lips quivering. "So very happy. I want you to be happy for us. It might take some time but I'm willing to wait. So is Mary."

Matthew sensed the waiters hovering nearby. He hoped they had not caused to much of a stir with the tense atmosphere surrounding their table.

He motioned them over, to give his mother some time to mull over what he said. He ordered the five course meal on the Christmas menu as it was the easiest option.

When that was done, he turned again to Isobel. Venturing with some caution, "Would you like to see a picture of the wedding?"

Isobel bowed her head. "I do hope it is not as I fear."

Matthew grinned, hoping the ice between them had thawed just a bit. "I think you'll be pleased." And he thumbed through his iPhone files until he found the one he was looking for. He handed it over to his mother.

She gasped in disbelief upon seeing the picture he had chosen. It was the one taken by the photographer outside, the newly married couple against the gorgeous hues of the setting sun.

"Lovely…" She murmured, looking closely at the bride and groom. Their genuine happiness. The love that shone through the image on the screen.

"I wanted it to be special for Mary." Matthew explained. "Since it was so quick." His words drawn out, meant to hope his mother understood.

"You chose this place?" She scrolled to the next picture. This one inside by the roaring hearth.

"Yes. I happened to be in Lake Tahoe for a business meeting, but I saw the hall on the way out of town. I telephoned to arrange the wedding when Mary accepted my proposal."

Isobel scrolled through a few more of the photographs. She had to admit he had put a great deal of careful thought into the ceremony. She smiled enigmatically at the one of them dancing. Mary in his arms, laughing slightly at something he whispered in her ear. The look in Matthew's eyes as he took in his new bride was particularly noticed by his mother.

She handed the phone back over. Her wayward son waiting nervously for her final judgement. "It's very nice."

Matthew visibly relaxed.

But Isobel would admit to no more than that.

Withheld pending final approval, Matthew thought. It was enough for now. He was mentally shot with the evening's events making his mind reel. He had managed to get out all he wanted to say about his love for Mary. His pledge to his family.

The rest would come with time.

He nodded towards the servers who had come with their appetizers. Neither mother nor son wanted to draw battle lines any more.

Isobel asking when she would finally meet this mysterious bride of his?

"Mary is back in Yorkshire seeing to her business. I had hoped we could make our way over to Manchester one day next week." He answered as smoothly as he dared.

Isobel grazed the side of her mouth with the napkin, "That would be agreeable."

"Thank you, Mother." Matthew's sincerity was heard in the warm intonation of his voice. He understood what it took for her to take this step. "We will make final arrangements when I get to Downton."

Isobel glanced up from her consommé de boeuf. "You will live in Yorkshire then?"

"I haven't really figured that out yet." He admitted, his mouth curved in discomfit. "I've still got to tell Tom about these events. And Mary's family is yet to be informed as well. There's still a lot to do." His fork idly tapping the plate as he considered that this was just the first in a long list of confessions they were to make. And then there was Robert…

He involuntarily groaned at those thoughts.

Isobel replied with matter-of-fact ease, "You did bring it on yourself. I don't have much pity for you."

He answered contritely. "No Mother. I don't expect you would."

But mother and son exchanged mutual glances of amusement.

A cease fire had been reached.

The rest of the meal was eaten in companionable silence.

XX

Matthew threw himself into the chair. He had poured himself a large single malt whisky as a reward for getting through the evening. His mother had not unconditionally accepted his news. She remained cool and cautious. But neither had she shut him out. Or refused to meet Mary.

So he had that to report to Mary. He knew it was late, but his jet lag had kicked in and though mentally tired, he was wide awake.

He risked it, hitting contact number on his mobile.

She answered after a few rings.

"Hello you." She said, stifling a yawn.

"Sorry to wake you." He said, but hearing her voice was tonic to his soul.

"How'd it go?" Knowing his dinner with Isobel probably just ended, Mary sat up in bed.

"Better than it could have been." Matthew replied, choosing not to report his mother's upsetting words about their affair. "She loved the wedding pictures."

Mary knew he was keeping the worst from her. For the time being she let it go. "I'm glad."

Matthew tried to break the tense air with "Of course I put certain other pictures in a secure file app I downloaded earlier before I gave her the mobile."

"Well I should hope so." Mary laughed. They had taken a couple of selfies of themselves in bed the morning she had made ready to leave. One of them was of a semi nude Mary, a sheet covering just her legs, with Matthew also naked but positioned behind her. His arms around her, angling the lens to get the both of them.

He gave a deep chuckle at that beautiful memory. "How are you my darling? I hope to get up to see you tomorrow night."

"I'm getting back into the swing of things." Mary said. "Sybil and Edith will be here tomorrow as well. It'll be my turn now to tell."

"We'll do it together." He heard her stifle another yawn. "But go back to sleep. I'll text you when I'm leaving."

He paused, "I love you."

A slow smile crept over Mary's face in reply, "I love you too. I've missed you these past days."

"I'll be there before you know." And he clicked off.

Sitting in the semi darkened room, Matthew finished his drink and ruminated on how best to approach Robert with the revelation that the man who knew all his secrets was also now his son in law.

XX

 _Thanks to Apollo888 for encouraging me to write more MM in Tahoe and lilyrowan for long conversations about certain elements in this chapter-esp the conversion with Isobel which was challenging for me to write. Hope you liked it. Reviews are wonderful._


	23. Chapter 23: Throwing It All to the Wind

Hi! Back to this story after a hiatus so I could finish that epilogue chapter [Christmas Time] of A Stitch in Downton Time for the Secret Santa on Tumblr. I hope you liked it (please read it if you haven't :) already) …

So to remind everyone where we were:

 _He gave a deep chuckle at that beautiful memory. "How are you my darling? I hope to get up to see you tomorrow night."_

 _"I'm getting back into the swing of things." Mary said. "Sybil and Edith will be here tomorrow as well. It'll be my turn now to tell."_

 _"We'll do it together." He heard her stifle another yawn. "But go back to sleep. I'll text you when I'm leaving."_

 _He paused, "I love you."_

 _A slow smile crept over Mary's face in reply, "I love you too. I've missed you these past days."_

 _"I'll be there before you know." And he clicked off._

XX

Matthew sat down at the bar and, with only a brief pause, ordered his usual.

When the whisky arrived, he downed a sip and let the liquid coat his tongue. Ordered a pub special for this very late lunch and glanced around at the entrance to see if Tom had arrived. Going on 4:30 Matthew had just gotten out of a long session with Edward Crabtree about the property at Woolgate Commons.

They had exhausted every detail. The team led by Mika had done him proud and everything was in order.

He felt a reward was only proper.

He let another sip of the single malt slide down his throat.

This for him.

Another reward for Mika.

He wouldn't usually order a drink, but he wasn't exactly on the official clock. He got back from Las Vegas yesterday. The dinner with his mother behind him. She would meet Mary the following week at a dinner arranged at a restaurant in London. Isobel was to spend a fortnight in the capitol and so Matthew made reservations at Café Bruno for three.

Not the rooftop. As that was too cold this time of year.

And it was Mary and Matthew's special place. Where they had met. Where he had fallen in love.

Inside the restaurant boasted an ambiance both upscale and cosy. So Matthew made arrangements with Alain for their best corner table.

Now he was heading back after the late meal with Tom to the office before taking to the road and end up in York.

To tell Mary's family. That they had married. Were to become parents in a few short months.

Perhaps he should let Mary take the lead. His most recent idea was to barge in and just tell them all to bloody well get used to him being around.

That made him laugh internally. No… he'd be on his best behaviour.

He was just itching to be with Mary again. She'd calm his nerves on that front.

Tom arrived.

"Hello." Tom clapped Matthew on the back and sat down on the adjacent stool. "Had your fill of America did you?" He pulled off his rain coat, leaving several large drops of water on the floor.

"Absolutely." Matthew glanced out at the bucketing rain. "All that sun…" He pulled a mock disgusted face, "Awful."

Tom sat down. Ordered the same sandwich. Watched Matthew take the first bite, the ring apparent on his left hand.

"So you did the thing?"

"We did the thing." Matthew corrected, his lips upticked in a sweet smile. "Mary and I have been officially married for a week and a half."

Tom shook his head in bemusement.

"What?"

"It's not your pattern at all. I would never have thought you do anything so impulsive. Every decision I've ever seen you make was reasoned and usually mulled over for weeks." Tom moved his forefinger back and forth, "even where your office was to be located. Was the second floor better than the third? Corner? Or the large one in the center."

"I'm still that way." Matthew said evenly. "People don't change. I just reasoned it out more quickly this time." But he gave himself a hard pause. He also remembered feeling this same way about his first marriage. That he had made the right decision. They had dated a brief time as well.

So Tom was wrong in one respect. That was his pattern. At least in love.

He took a slower sip of his drink. No. This love for Mary was different. This was honest. The warm liquid coating his throat, Matthew licked his lips and finished it off.

He had never felt this good ever before in his life. Alive. Aching to see Mary again.

"But speaking of not making fast decisions…." Matthew segued into the next conversation cautiously. "There are one or two points we need to discuss."

Tom took a bite and waited.

"How is Mika working out?" Matthew started, trying to get a feel for Tom's true feelings about their protégé.

"Fine." Tom nodded. "Just as we thought. She took the lead with Crabtree and has ole Connie eating out of her hands."

Matthew guffawed. Conrad "Connie" Parker was an ornery cuss who hated practically every agent they had ever tried to work with him. He came from money but was himself a self-employed artist.

Tom finished, "they looked at properties all over the South Bank and settled on studios near Waterloo Bridge."

Matthew was pleased. "So you think she's ready for more?" He probed.

"Such as?"

Matthew swallowed and then made his suggestion. "A partnership?"

Tom was surprised. "Are we looking to bring in a third?"

Matthew's eyes narrowed, beetled a bit. "No. Not necessarily."

"But…"

"Just a thing I was considering." Matthew pursed his lips.

Tom tried to tease out Matthew's true purpose. "She's a real find. We don't want to lose her. A larger firm could offer her more incentives, bonuses. That kind of thing."

"I was thinking of turning over Crabtree entirely to her. Since they're getting on. See how things go from there. Maybe in a few months we'll approach her with the partnership idea."

Tom stopped in mid bite. Crabtree had been Matthew's big coup. Now he was turning him over? "What's going on then mate? Cut to the chase."

Matthew spilled it finally. "It's just an idea I have. Given my new circumstances I think I'll be spending more time in York. So I thought Mika could be brought in as a third."

"You're not quitting?" Tom's Irish brogue got a bit thick.

"No, no." Matthew said. "Just changing focus. Neither of you like the consulting work so I thought I could take on all those clients while you focus on our properties. I can do investment and consulting work anywhere."

Matthew let the idea sink in with Tom. "I don't want you to think I'm slagging all this on you mind. I'll still pull my own."

Tom had to laugh at that. "You've been a damned workaholic Matthew. For the past two years or so. If the one thing this new marriage has done for you is to give you some perspective on what matters, then it's all good to me."

Matthew was about to protest, but instead he fell silent.

"So you'll live where?" Tom asked.

"I don't know yet. Mary's business is in Yorkshire, on her father's estate. So she has to be up there full time."

"But you could live there and here in London. I know lots of couples of make that kind of thing work."

Matthew shook his head. "It's not as easy as it looks."

"At least until there's a family I suppose. Then compromises are made. But that's not…"

Tom suddenly looked at Matthew. Saw his eyes narrow and catch the edge of a glance.

"Mary's not pregnant? Is she? I was just joking about anything untoward."

"Two months along." Matthew confessed.

"You sure it's yours?" Tom said before thinking. "Shit…" Open mouth insert foot!

"What are you saying?" Matthew leapt to Mary's defense.

"Nothing. Nothing." Tom put up his hands in a defensive gesture. "I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I was just making sure. She was with another not that long ago."

Matthew scratched his cheek sheepishly. "So was I. Remember? Mary assured me that she had not been intimate with Henry since that rather awful dinner I had at Downton where her father and I rowed. She realized after I'd driven off that she'd break things off with Henry. And we've been together since our first week end at Downton which is when this presumably happened."

They had made love several times that week end. Both before and after the bourbon fueled night when she took him to the barn to meet Diamond.

When he knew he'd never be the same again. And it was wonderful.

"So that's why the move to York?" Tom inquired.

"I want to be close to her." Matthew replied firmly. The resolution he made in Las Vegas clarified his life. His priorities. He would do anything for his family.

"I'm happy for you Matthew. I'm happy for you both. We all need to get together for a meal."

"You and Sybil you mean?" Matthew cocked an eyebrow. "Are we to be brothers in law as well as business partners?"

"Whoah Whoah…" Tom laughed. "Sybil and I are just dating. She's far too much involved in her studies to acknowledge my existence some days."

Matthew had surmised as much from his conversations with Mary. "You might not know then. We're telling the family tonight. I'm traveling up after we meet with Mika. That is, if you're on board?"

"About bringing her in as partner. Sure. She's a real asset."

Matthew clapped his hands together. "Excellent. I'm in the mood for some good news for _après cela, le déluge_."

"Is it going to be that bad?" Tom asked. "I mean their old man isn't the easiest bloke around, but you did do the right thing."

"Let's hope he sees it that way." Matthew let it go. Tom didn't know about Robert's secrets. He didn't want to let anything slip. "It's a lot for any parent to take in." He sighed heavily.

"Your mother?" Tom replied. "How'd that go? I don't envy you for sure on that."

Matthew gave a controlled smile. "She'll take some time to come around. I don't blame her for being angry. We're to have dinner next week. One step at a time."

They finished the meal and went back to the office to tell Mika the good news.

XX

Mary was running late. She texted Matthew who was already on his way up the M1 to Yorkshire. He had decided to drive to calm his nerves so she doubted he'd be early.

It was her evening routine to check on every horse. Not to follow up on Jerry's work. He was the best manager, the best groom in the business. Mary trusted him implicitly.

She just liked knowing every detail about every horse under her care. So Jerry would walk with her around the livery yard moving into each of the stables and every horse stall. The horses that were owned by others but boarded at Downton were the first to be seen. Their owners were given a daily status update on Facebook or whatever platform they used. Then Mr. Banks and Jellybean were rubbed down and fed.

Jerry would usually leave around that time, so that Mary could see to Diamond herself. She would give the old thoroughbred an apple or some other treat. She'd brush the horse's mane, as he was still a vain old fool who liked to look his best.

His deep exhaling breaths reverberated against her body. She felt comfort and security around her favorite. He'd groan deep as she brushed and plaited.

Mary echoed his quiet nickering sounds, adding "tch tch tch…" with her tongue.

Diamond would snort in utter contentment, and Mary would leave his stall for the night always feeling just a little bit better about life.

This evening, in addition to anticipating Matthew's visit she also had one of the co-owners of Two Women and a Computer in to discuss changes Downton Stables website. Lila suggested including pictures of Mary's recent victory at the Berkshire Horse Trials and Maggie's achievement at the York Gymkhana. She would have to get permission from each of the parents to include any other child's name in this new folder.

Mary gazed at her own picture holding the victory cup. A look not only of triumph on her face, but satisfaction. The achievement being not only in the win, but in the quality of her horsemanship and her pride in Jellybean.

It was everything she had wanted. To be her own boss. Return triumphant to a world that she had abandoned.

Was all that for naught now? She frowned suddenly.

"Is everything alright?" Lila asked. "I can change the picture if it's not to your liking."

"No. It's fine. You're doing a wonderful job." Mary reassured, her voice thin though. "It's just been a long day."

"You do look tired. A bit pale." Lila's face scanned Mary's. "You coming down with something perhaps?"

"I'm fine." Mary put off telling Lila anything. So many people to tell.

And it was true. She was feeling quite rundown. More than she even expected. She knew she'd have some bouts of morning sickness and she had tried to take it a bit easy. But she also knew plenty of pregnant women who worked well into their third trimesters with very little down time.

She thought she'd have plenty of time to inform all the necessary people about the changes that were inevitable.

Her career on hold.

Her teaching methods changed due to her advancing pregnancy. The doctor already warning her of limiting her time on a horse. To be careful at all times. To allow others to take more of the reins, so to speak.

But Mary had thought all of that would be later. Yet she was so tired.

The appointment with Dr. Walsh was set for the next day. Matthew would go with her. So maybe they'd get some answers then.

For now she called it a day. Lila left and Mary closed up the office. Jerry, already informed about Mary's condition, promised to take up the slack whenever she needed. She had been amazed at his calm. She thanked him for understanding. He replied that he had never seen her so happy and he wished her and the new Mr. Crawley every happiness in the world.

Mary had needed to hear that.

For without Matthew's presence, the doubts scratched at her mind. She had been working on the high of finding out she was with Matthew's child. That they were married. The blissful honeymoon at Lake Tahoe. She closed her mind to anything else.

A world of two. Matthew made her feel so safe, so loved. His calming voice. His loving eyes. His pencil scratching her nude form onto a piece of paper. Drawing their life together, the child unborn within.

Everything seemed possible.

But she had returned to the real world alone. Matthew had stayed in Las Vegas at her insistence to finish his commitment. They had video chatted and texted. But it wasn't the same.

Could it all collapse? Life had thrown so many changes in her direction recently. She thought she could ride them all and come out on top. It was useless to be angry at Matthew. They had created this child together.

Mary rubbed her shoulder as she made her way back to Downton. She shook off the funk. Matthew was coming for dinner. All the secrets would be out in the open finally.

Then they'd see what came after.

"There you are, dear." Cora's voice reaching Mary as she stepped inside the French doors. "Are you going to change?"

"Yes Mama. I'm going up now. I had a few things to clear up at the office." Mary moved quickly towards the staircase. "Matthew's been delayed in any event. I know Carson hates it when his dinner is served late, but it can't be helped."

Cora glanced at her daughter up and down. She was wearing a long coat, covering most of her body. Even inside, though, Mary did not remove the garment.

She ventured, "Are we going to be allowed into some secrets tonight?"

Mary twisted her head, knowing her mother was not fooled at all by her silence. "All will be revealed Mama. All in good time."

Cora responded, "I'm happy to hear it."

Both women were a bit startled by a long groan emanating from the library.

"Papa?" Mary asked, concerned.

Cora paled. "Yes. He's not been feeling well at all today. Complained of a stomachache but says it's nothing."

That did not bode well for his mood. Mary continued up the stairs.

"The curiosity surrounding your Matthew's visit had not improved his mood."

Mary arched a curious eyebrow. "My Matthew?"

"Oh please Mary…" Cora rejoined. "We're not all your father. Some of us do see what is before our eyes." Her mother moved closer to the staircase, her voice lowered. "I just want to know you both realize what you're doing. In the heat of a romance you sometimes forget that other people can get hurt."

Mary paused in her ascent up towards her room. She did not want her mother thinking any unkind thoughts of Matthew. And they were deceiving her. She had taken off her rings after returning home because she promised Matthew she'd wait to tell anyone until he was by her side.

"Matthew's a good man, Mama." She said softly, descending to take her mother's hand. "A good man."

Her mother only nodded curtly and turned away.

Mary, finding that odd, continued on her way to her bedroom. She chalked up her mother's concern to their decision to remain silent until both were present.

She'd keep to that decision, but wished Matthew greater speed in arriving at Downton.

Mary dressed for dinner. She decided on knee length dress with boots and a cardigan sweater against the chill. The house was old, and even with the new heating it was always a few degrees below comfort.

She had asked the housekeeper Mrs. Hughes to make room in the old dressing rooms adjacent to her bedroom for Matthew. He would remain the night and would need room henceforth for his clothes and toiletries.

The space had been made for him. It adjoined her own dressing closet.

Soon he'd move in and they would be together. Although the subject had barely come up, she assumed that at least part of the time Matthew would reside at Downton. Of course he needed to keep a London residence for his work. Mary hoped it would not be that rather cramped flat he used after his divorce. She would give up her townhouse to Sybil so maybe they'd find a new one together.

Seated at her night table, Mary applied some last minute lipstick and reaffixed a curl of hair behind her head. She put on the necklace Matthew had bought in Vegas for a wedding present.

And her engagement and wedding rings.

She heard some voices from downstairs, not heated exactly. But raised.

Matthew had arrived.

Mary peeked once again in the mirror, and made a move to go downstairs to rescue her husband.

God knows how he might get into it with her father.

They were like oil and water those two.

XX

Matthew's wheels scraped the gravel driveway.

The door opened and Carson walked out to escort him inside.

They had been expecting him, Matthew knew. And he was late again. Carson would disapprove. In spite of the rain he had tried to make good time, but the M1 was crowded with week night commuters.

He glanced in the rear-view mirror to make sure his tie was straight then exited the Porsche.

Matthew eagerly awaited the reunion with Mary. But he was filled with trepidation regarding the meeting with Robert. Not the joy of telling them about their marriage and forthcoming child. That, once the initial shock was over, he hoped would be easy. That they would acknowledge reality much as his mother did. And then the long process of acceptance would begin. They would show everyone just how much in love they really were.

No, the trepidation was the fear of slipping up. His real concern was letting Robert's secrets out in the heat of an argument. He would have tread carefully.

He closed the car door.

Matthew left his bag inside the car. He had made a hotel reservation in Ripon. He wanted to relax after the revelations to Mary's family. And he wanted to do it in utter privacy. The penthouse at the Old Deanery overlooking Ripon Cathedral seemed just the spot to unwind. He had not seen Mary in over a week and he wanted their reunion not to be surrounded by her family and their employees at Downton.

He hoped she'd understand.

Matthew walked inside, followed by Carson who closed the door behind them.

"Wait here sir. I'll introduce you."

Matthew rocked on his heels. Mary must not be ready as he was sure she would have been in the salon to greet him. Her text said she was running a bit late.

Cora came through the door of the library. "Matthew. How good to see you again. We're all in here."

We? Matthew gulped. Who else was to be witness to this? Sybil and Edith were away and already in the know. So …

"Have you met my mother in law the Dowager Countess of Grantham?"

Matthew moved slightly to see the older woman giving him an intense assessment head to toe. Her eyes bore into his own.

They stared a full few seconds before either spoke.

Matthew did not flinch nor look away. But instead met hers, steady and without guile. Matthew knew this woman was on their side. Mary had told him about the visit to her house; their conversation about love and marriage. The trust Violet asked Mary to extend to Matthew had been his life line.

To have Mary return to him in America.

To now have these rings upon their fingers.

To have the patience to prove to the dowager and to every member of Mary's family that the trust was not in vain. This was his family now.

He fully intended to win them all over.

To earn their friendship, if not their love. He'd be his own man. Not genuflect to Robert's position as outdated as it was. But he would offer advice and counsel if asked. Robert was in genuine crisis.

Something needed to be done, Matthew knew far too well.

And soon.

"Lady Grantham," Matthew spoke in that register that was both polite and charming. His cheeky smile met Violet's as he nodded his head and the raised it again. "It is so very nice to meet you." His hand still at his side.

He knew the proper protocol was to wait. This spoke of good manners.

Violet returned his greeting and held out her hand. "The same to you Mr. Crawley. My grand-daughter has spoken very highly of you. I hope she was not exaggerating."

Matthew accepted her outstretched hand. He gave a firm shake, careful of the older woman's bony fingers and paper thin skin. But her strong grip belied her age.

She knew what was what.

Matthew's cheeks blushed slightly. "I will strive to live up to Mary's good opinion."

Robert's snort of derision was unmistakable, but Matthew chose to ignore it.

He was trying to be on his best behaviour after all.

"So what is this dinner in aid of?" Robert turned to his wife. "Why does Mary feel the need to have us all together? I have a great deal of work to finish and yet she recalled me back from London as if it was a command. I came as requested but I can't say I relish the company."

He didn't even try to mask his disdain towards Matthew.

The man who knew far too much about his secrets.

"Robert I hope we can start over. Learn to get to know one another…" Matthew's attempt at courtesy was cut off.

"Why would I want to do that?" Robert snapped. "What are you to me?"

"Your son-in-law Papa." Mary entered the room. "Matthew's my husband and I do so want us all to get along." She elegantly draped her arm within Matthew's. They stood side by side.

Robert's jaw fell.

Cora, who suspected all along something like this was afoot, moved towards the white-faced Earl of Grantham. Violet remained seated, having been in on the secret all along.

Matthew snuck a proud look at his wife. So strong. So poised.

She certainly knew how to make an entrance.

Robert recovered quickly. "What are you talking about? Married? You can't be."

She had an answer for that. "You introduced us Papa. Making me attend that business dinner on your behalf."

Her father retorted, "Where if I recall you accused me of selling your body for my personal whims!"

"I stand by my repugnance." She bit back. But turned to reassure Matthew who had turned a bit pale, "even if in this specific case, the man turned out to be more of a gentleman than her own father."

Robert turned red with anger. "I …" He spluttered helplessly to defend that. But he knew deep down his daughter was right. He had forced her to do something out of desperation, something he was now mortally ashamed of.

Mary tried to relent. "I know you did what you think you needed to do Papa. But you went about it in the wrong fashion. Even so, Matthew and I realized we had a great deal in common. He offered to partner me in Downton Stables and after that …" She foundered on her explanation.

Matthew stepped in to help her, "Mary and I began a relationship."

That was all the cue Robert needed to turn his fury towards a more favoured target.

"You are already married." Robert hissed. "I met your wife at Mary's London house. What did you do? Get rid of her when you saw an opportunity for the main chance? Is that your game? Improve your Crawley name by associating with the real deal?"

Matthew's jaw clenched. The tiny muscles around his face grew taut and flexed. He answered in the coldest tone Mary had ever heard. "You know nothing about me or my family."

Robert grumbled, but did not apologize.

Matthew was furious. He spat out, "Furthermore I don't need anything from you. Don't you realize Robert I can buy Downton right out from under your nose for a song if I chose. There's not one thing you could do about it. You know as well as I the shaky foundation upon which your assets stand."

Robert's nostrils flared. "New brooms sweep clean, eh? All you know is to take. I've done my duty to my family. You know nothing about such things."

Cora said severely, "We know he speaks the truth Robert. I think we all need to calm down."

"Yes Papa." Mary also tried to mediate. She pulled Matthew away. He went to stand next to her willingly. "This is getting us nowhere."

"He's come in here and upended everything." Robert said to his daughter. "The last time I saw you in London you were engaged to marry another man."

"Lived. Papa. I lived with Henry in London. We broke up." Mary's words emotionless. Facts were facts.

"Because of him?" Robert threw an accusing finger in Matthew's direction.

He stared at Matthew. "Are you doing this deliberately? Turning my family against me for some kind of sick revenge for firing you? You certainly wormed your way in for sure. But what's your game, eh? You want to take over Grantham Inc as well? Well you can't have it." His voice hoarse from the exertion.

Matthew's turned to ice. He was sick of Robert's insinuations. "You have no right to accuse me of any of that. If anyone has ruined your family and your company, you have only to look to yourself for blame."

The two men squared off as if in an arena.

Mary knew they had got beyond any hope either man would relent. She had to be the referee.

"Papa," She stepped towards her father. "I love him. I know this is a lot to take in. It appears we kept all of you in the dark about certain events. You must believe it was not our deliberate intent to do so."

She threw Matthew a look. Your turn, it spoke.

Matthew, taking his lead from Mary calmed down and said in a cool, but even tone, "I was separated from my wife soon after my first dinner here at Downton. We've since divorced and Mary and I decided to marry while I was conducting a series of conference lectures in America."

Robert had stepped away towards the window. His back to them all.

"But why so soon?" Cora interjected to change the direction of this conversation. "I can understand people moving into a new relationship. But why marry so soon after a divorce?" Cora took in both her daughter and Matthew. Finishing with, "Is it just because of the baby?"

The room fell silent. Robert turned on his heels back towards his daughter and Matthew, mouth gawped open, eyes wild with bewilderment. Violet looked on admiringly at her daughter in law's aplomb.

Matthew looked wide eyed at Mary. Had she told her mother?

Mary shook her head at his unasked question. No she had not. But Cora was wise to the ways of the world. Nothing got past her.

"We knew if we waited until we returned to England, that the reasons for us not marrying would outweigh any push we felt towards matrimony." Matthew admitted. "That people would oppose the idea because we haven't known each other than long. That it's too soon after my divorce. That it would look like we were trying to hide an affair behind the convention of marriage."

Matthew hadn't meant for that to sound accusatorial, but it came out that way.

And saw the older man blanch as the target hit close to home.

Matthew had done what Robert had not. Divorced his wife to spare her as much pain as possible. To marry the woman with whom he had conceived a child.

Matthew turned quickly back to Cora. Held Mary's hand tight inside his own. He could not help but notice, however, that his wife was white as a sheet. He felt horrible. "The baby has sped up our timetable yes. But we wanted to start our life together as soon as possible." He looked to Robert to mend some fences. "I know I have asked a lot of you in a very short time."

Mary added, "All we ask is that you are happy for us. Believe in us."

"How easy that would be." Robert declaimed harshly, "if not for his threats."

Matthew knew his mere presence upset his father in law. He just wasn't sure what to do about it. He refrained from taking any more of his bait though. Lashing back only made things worse.

And he had promised Mary and himself to try to work with Robert to create harmony within the family.

So far he had failed.

Matthew said in a tone of reconciliation, "I am no threat Robert. To you. To anyone. I want us to try again. I can help…"

Robert harrumphed harshly and walked back towards the window. He had grown increasingly pale. "You're new to our way of life here. I'm unused to be spoken to like that in my own house."

Violet spoke to her son, "Stop being such a bully Robert. That will get us nowhere."

"So now you are against me too?"

"No one is against you." Cora said. "Matthew may have been a little disrespectful, but you have been just the same."

"You knew about all this? The marriage? The baby?" Robert inclined his head towards his wife and mother.

"Not directly. No." Cora admitted. "There were signs in that direction. I made some calculated guesses. Nothing was kept deliberately from you."

"I advised Mary to follow her heart." Violet announced to the astonishment of her son. "I know you think I rarely use mine except to pump blood through my increasingly frail veins, but I know it serves other functions. If you could only open your eyes to see what is plain in front of you. These two are in love. It shines around them. We should not discourage it, but embrace it."

Mary rushed over to Violet and gave her granny a hug. "Thank you."

Before any other words could be spoken Carson announced dinner.

They all moved towards the dining room. Matthew moved to escort the Dowager Countess. He extended his arm gracefully.

Violet, knowing this young man was intelligent enough to calculate having her on his side was to his advantage, accepted. But it also forced him to lean down so she could whisper in his ear, "A good opinion once lost, is difficult to reattain. Make sure you don't lose mine."

Matthew's piercing blue eyes met the more muted one's of Violet. "I understand. I apologize if I came across as rude. It was not my intention. I will make it my duty henceforth to earn everyone's good opinion in this family. My love for Mary is genuine. It's the most real thing in the world to me right now. Thank you for allowing me a second chance with her. I will most probably need another one with Robert."

Violet patted his hand before accepted his arm. "I will say no more. But please let us have a pleasant meal for my stomach for discord has limits."

Matthew chuckled softly and smiled. "Are we to be friends then?"

The Dowager arched an eyebrow and responded dryly, "We are allies for now. Which, given your circumstances, can be a good deal more effective."

The two made their way into the dining room. Matthew guided her into the seat next to Robert at the center of the table. Mary motioned him across to sit next to her mother.

He took the seat a bit sheepishly. "I'm sorry Mary. It just got a bit out of hand."

Robert it seemed felt the same way. He looked over at Matthew. "Look. Can't we stop this rowing…."

But he was cut short by a loud grumbling sound emanating from his stomach. Everyone heard and turned in his direction. Robert's face turned a horrible shade of red.

"I'm so sorry…" He got up to excuse himself, but it was too late.

He doubled over, and then reared back shooting blood out into the air.

The blood spurted from his mouth and shot across the table, directly hitting the white table cloth and spattering a large amount onto Cora who was shocked to see her husband in such distress she hardly realized she was covered in blood.

Carson ran over to catch Lord Grantham as he fell to the floor.

"Oh my God…" Violet's chair moved back as she tried to reach out to her son.

"Papa…" Mary was heard to scream.

Matthew pulled out his mobile and clicked 999 for an ambulance. He moved out of the room as the noise level was too much for him to hear the operator.

He gave the address as Downton Abbey, explained what had happened, and nodded when the operator responded that help had been despatched.

"What is it?" Violet knelt down as Carson laid the Earl on his side to help him breathe. "Is he alive?"

"Yes." Cora said. "I'm here darling. Don't worry." She said soothing her husband.

Robert could not speak. He was writhing in pain.

"The ambulance will be here shortly." Matthew informed the family.

Within a few minutes they could hear the wail of the sirens approach the house. Carson went out to let them inside.

The gurney appeared in the dining room, two Emergency Medical Technicians on either side.

After assessing Robert could be transported to hospital, they lifted him onto the stretcher and wheeled him outside.

Cora said she'd go with him. But that Violet should stay at Downton with Mary and Matthew.

Matthew offered to go. "You …you might need some help."

"Thank you…" But Cora's face turned as white as a ghost as she looked past Matthew to see Mary about to collapse.

"Mary…" She cried out.

Matthew whipped his head around and bolted over to his wife, barely catching her before she collapsed on the floor.

She groaned and gripped her stomach.

Matthew could hardly speak. "Mary….Mary…" his entreaties unheard by his unconscious spouse.

"Get that ambulance back…." He roared beseechingly at Cora. She turned to call them once again into the dining room.

"Oh God…." His voice pleading his wife to hear him. "Mary come back to me…"

XX

So...reviews would be great...


	24. Chapter 24: Making It All Work

Matthew cradled Mary's head in his lap on the floor of the dining room. "Mary?" He queried anxiously. His fingers gingery moved stray strands of hair from her face.

She mumbled a few words, "I'm fine…just a little faint."

Though they were slurred Matthew's exhalation of relief echoed in the open space of the dining room.

"Thank God." He whispered, his lips against her pale cheek.

Cora, torn between her husband and daughter, cast a desperate eye towards Matthew's.

He directed with an assurance he didn't feel but felt Cora needed, "Go with Robert. I'm here. I'll take care of her."

Mother and son in law shared a look. His jaw was set, his eyes crystal clear. Cora nodded with a newfound confidence and fled the dining room to catch the ambulance before the vehicle drove away. Carson had already seen the ambulance driver outside with the gurney.

The EMT, after taking Mary's vitals, told Matthew to follow them to hospital. She'd be admitted for observation in Maternity.

Matthew fell a bit apart after Cora left. So much had happened. He put a shaking hand to his brow.

The EMT grunted and pointed towards the blood on his shirtsleeve. He managed to say, "It's not mine or Mary's. It… splattered from …from Robert."

The woman nodded briskly and left to join the driver to take his father-in-law into York.

"You heard her," Matthew said, moving so that he could lift Mary up into his arms. She half consciously struggled, trying to stand on her own. "I'm taking you in." He carefully helped her to stand, but kept his arm around her waist as she was still quite woozy.

"Your car is too cramped." She complained. "Let me just go upstairs and rest. We are supposed to see Dr. Walsh tomorrow. I'll be fine." But Matthew knew better. Mary's hollow eyes and pale cheeks concerned him greatly.

"Then we'll take yours." Matthew gently chided her. "No way out of this, my dear. You need to be checked out." And he carefully began to lead her outside. She fell against his shoulder, her eyes closed.

Carson silently approved of this new husband of Mary's. She would never have listened to anyone else.

"Lady Mary always keeps her car keys in the bowl to the right of the doorway." He told Matthew. Leading him out towards the door he took them out of the bowl, opened the oak door, and said, "Careful of the step here sir. It is a bit tricky."

"Thank you." Matthew scooped Mary up into his arms. It was easier just to carry her outside. Her legs were very weak. He grunted softly and adjusted her against his left shoulder. He stepped over the thresh hold and out onto the gravel driveway. He hurried as fast as he dared towards her car. Carson clicked and it beeped. He then opened the passenger door allowing Matthew to cautiously moved her head inside and against the seat back.

Mary said weakly, "I'm fine." And she adjusted herself in the seat. Matthew clicked the safety belt.

He gave Carson one last grateful nod of thanks, and got into the driver's seat.

"The hospital is two miles down the main road past the village."

Matthew started the engine of the Jaguar and pulled out of the driveway. All along the road, his head lurched back and forth between it and his passenger. Mary regained some strength on the short trip past Downton Village. She sat up straighter in the car seat. "Papa?" She queried Matthew.

He glanced over at her. And shrugged helplessly. "I don't know. He was conscious but in a great deal of pain. Your mother went with him in the ambulance."

"I want you to find out." Mary reached out and gripped his arm. "You must find out."

"I will, darling. I will." Matthew's ragged response. "But first we have to make sure you and the baby …"

He choked up before he could complete the sentence. Tears formed and ran down his cheeks. "We have to make sure!" His words hoarse, stricken with emotion.

Mary understood, his concern making her love him even more. "I feel better, Matthew. I truly do. It was just a spell. Or stress from seeing Papa like that."

Matthew said nothing as he made the last turn into the Casualty lot. He rushed around the front of the car and helped Mary out. Someone came out with a wheelchair.

They wheeled Mary up to the Maternity floor. "The ambulance driver said to expect you." The OB nurse said. "We'll go in here." And she indicated a room.

After adjusting Mary in the hospital bed, the nurse used the fetal Doppler monitor. "We'll use this to see if the baby is in any kind of immediate distress."

But no sound emanated from the device. She shifted it around, but still nothing.

Matthew tried not to hover, but he leaned over the nurse's shoulder to see the device. "Is it working properly?" He snapped, a deep frown etched on his face.

Mary shushed him. "Let her do her job." But she too looked concerned.

"Sometimes it's too early for the portable." The nurse said calmly, knowing full well the anxiety of expectant parents. "Let's try the ultrasound."

"Thank you." Matthew said.

She adjusted another machine over Mary's belly. Covered it with the gel and began motioning the device back and forth.

And soon the soothing sound of heartbeats could be heard. A whooshing sound that was music to Mary's ears. An image appeared on the computer screen, grainy and difficult to spot the baby so early in the first trimester.

"It's very fast." Matthew expressed, though relieved to hear anything at all.

"A heart rate of 150-179bpm is just fine." The nurse reassured again.

"Does that mean the baby is in good health?" He hovered over the nurse's shoulder again.

Mary sat back in the bed, but her hand clenched Matthew's with a strength he did not expect.

He got the hint. "Sorry." He apologized to Breanna, crinkling his nose. "I didn't mean to interfere in your job."

"It's fine Mr. Crawley. I'm very used to dealing with anxious fathers." The nurse continued to swipe Mary's abdomen with the monitor. She became silent

"Is there something wrong?" Mary was now the one worried. "Why are you looking so closely at the screen?"

"Ummm…" the nurse hesitated. Two sets of panicked eyes met hers as she turned her head towards them.

"We need to confirm this with the doctor of course. But I've been a nurse for over twenty years. I think I can say with 98% certainty I see one gestational sacs containing two embryos."

Matthew blinked, one eyebrow narrowed. "Two?"

"Two." The nurse enunciated again.

"So…" Mary struggled to get a better look at the screen, trying to see whatever the nurse saw in the grainy image. "Twins?"

"From what I can discern. I thought I heard a second heartbeat, but it could have been background noise or even your own heart." She pointed to Mary. "This might also explain your fainting spell and your increased lethargy. In the first trimester having twins the body is working overtime to nurture more than one baby."

Matthew said, still in shocked awe. "We're having twins." He looked at Mary who mirrored his own stunned shock. "My darling…" He breathlessly kissed her on the lips.

"Let me go get the doctor on call to confirm." The nurse left the room.

Mary could not believe it was possible. She flung her arms down both sides of the hospital bed.

"Twins don't run in my family." Mary exclaimed as soon as she left the room. "Do they in yours?"

"Not that I know of." Matthew admitted, scratching his head. "But I think it can just happen."

They stared at one another for a full half minute in utter disbelief, letting this knowledge soak in.

"Did Dr. Walsh not indicate anything like this in your initial visit?" Matthew asked.

"No." Mary shook her head. "She just confirmed the pregnancy and we made the appointment for tomorrow."

The doctor on call, Dr. Michael Evans, walked in and stopped their private conversation. "I hear we have some good news?"

"We're still taking it in, but yes very good news indeed." Matthew smiled first at his wife, and then the doctor.

The doctor positioned himself next to the ultrasound and repeated the procedure.

Matthew asked Dr. Evans "Can you tell if they're identical?"

"Yes." He said. "See here the shared outer sac and the same inner one?" He pointed to the image on the screen. It was finally making sense to Mary as she studied it.

"That means monozygotic twins."

Matthew squinted harder.

"Identical." The doctor explained in more layman's terms. "They started from a single zygote."

"Amazing." Matthew was transfixed by the ultrasound images.

"Thank you, Dr. Evans." Mary said in a far more practical tone of voice. "Will I need to be kept for any more observations?"

"We'll monitor you overnight. Then once Dr. Walsh has a chance to confirm and consult with you in the morning, we'll take it from there. I don't see any signs of distress, however. They look perfect."

"Perfect." Matthew murmured. "They certainly are."

The doctor left the room.

"Matthew…" Mary's voice came as if from a distance.

"Hmmm…" He turned around, his eyes wide open, a radiant smile on his face.

"I hate to have to ask…" She bit her lip.

Matthew snapped back to reality. "Yes. Your father." He walked over and gave her another kiss. "I'll find out right now." But seized the private moment to say, "I know this is not at all what you wanted Mary. You had so many plans of your own." He looked so troubled, deep frown lines etching his forehead. "I keep barging in and changing your life. I feel I've ruined your dreams. This makes it even more …."

But Mary reached out and kissed him hard on the lips. "Never think that." She said fiercely.

Matthew's eyes searched Mary's. The look of love within those pools of dark brown never wavered.

"We'll talk more later Matthew, but know this. I am just as excited, just as scared as you. We do this together."

His mouth quivered with emotion, but he kissed her gently. "I love you so very very much."

Matthew ever so reluctantly pulled away from Mary's arms. Saying softly, "I'll go back to Casualty and see where they put your father." He pulled his hands through his pockets. "I'm afraid I left the house without either mobile…."

"Well that's understandable." Mary said. "There was quite a lot going on."

Matthew chuckled lightly. "I'll get your room number and call you as soon as I know anything."

He left and returned to the admit desk. "I need information on a patient, Robert Crawley, the Earl of Grantham."

The woman looked up. "Are you a family member?"

Matthew smiled broadly. "Yes. Yes I am. I am Lord Grantham's son in law."

She checked the computer. "A nurse will escort you inside and to his room. He's already been taken to surgery."

Matthew was not surprised. What he had witnessed shocked him. He still had blood stains on his shirtsleeve.

Very shortly a man motioned him from an inside door. Led him down the hall and up the elevator and finally into a semi-darkened room.

Matthew shaded his eyes to peer inside.

"Cora?" He thought he saw a figure against the window.

She turned, her voice expressed breathless relief. "Matthew."

The two met in the middle of the room.

"How is Mary?"

"Is Robert out of surgery?"

The two asked at the same time.

He answered hers first.

"Mary is fine." He pulled his fingers through his hair. "She was just overtired. They gave her some fluids and have checked all her vitals. They're going to keep her over night. The baby…"

He stumbled.

"What is it?" Cora's tone apprehensive.

"Sorry…" He flashed a reassuring grin. "I didn't mean to sound like anything was wrong. It's the most wonderful of news. I'm just not sure Mary would want me to tell without her."

"Tell me Matthew. I need some good news."

"We're having twins it seems." He lifted his eyebrows. "The doctor confirmed it just now. Identical."

"Oh my goodness!" Cora was delighted. "I never even thought of that."

"We'll know more tomorrow when Dr. Walsh examines Mary." He moved slightly away. "How long will Robert be in surgery?"

"Another hour or so. There was quite a discussion I gather as to wait to see what how his condition developed. He let this ulcer go so long it perforated. They don't always elect for surgery it seems, but in his case they're doing an exploratory laparotomy. If he has complicated PUD then he might need a gastroduodenal reconstruction. In any event, he's expected to make a full recovery. But will be on medication."

"Good God…" Matthew said sympathetically. "PUD?"

"Peptic ulcer disease." Cora answered. "Stupid man. All of this could have been prevented had he been more up front. But that is ever Robert's problem. They could have checked it with an endoscopy and maybe have achieved hemostasis without ever needing surgery."

"Cora." Matthew was impressed with her ease with the medical terminology "How do you know so much about it? I had no idea you were this knowledgeable."

Cora said, "Who do you think encouraged Sybil to pursue her medical school dreams? I didn't, you see." She shrugged reflectively. "I met Robert. We married. He … He didn't have the time to wait for me to do all the rotations, the internships." She dismissively gestured in the air with her hand. "It was so long ago. But some of the terminology sticks to the brain."

Matthew nodded. "I should probably remember more than I do. My father was a doctor. My mother a surgical nurse. She despaired that I did not take up the family profession and misspent my youth in playing cricket and reading English."

"You turned out just fine as far as I can see. She must be very proud." Cora responded. "I look forward to meeting her."

"Thank you." Matthew answered politely. He walked over to the hospital telephone. "I told Mary I would keep her informed of Robert's progress."

"Matthew…" Cora began, then hesitated.

He stopped, the handset in hand.

"Nothing."

Matthew paused.

"It's just …" She looked around as if to see if anyone was listening. She then gave Matthew an appraising look. "I think you know more than you let on."

Matthew was about to forswear any particular knowledge when he was cut off.

"Let's not deny it, shall we?" She directed.

He nodded affirmatively. "Robert has confided certain information to me. I was wrong to shout at him about it this evening. I do apologize if it any way contributed to his upset."

"How were you to know he kept this condition a secret? I hardly realized how serious it had become."

Cora clasped Matthew' sleeve with trembling fingers. "Robert is a good man. He's a bit lost in the 21st century, preferring to traipse around the estate and harken back to a time he and his kind had power and influence. We had some trouble a bit back. But that's all over, isn't it?" She gave him a searching look. "I have such a feeling it's all going to come back. Like a bad dream, returning and bringing ghosts."

"I couldn't say Cora." Matthew demurred softly. "Robert was very angry after he spoke to me. Why I was fired I believe. I knew too much. But I got the sense this… this information weights very heavily. And more so as time goes on. He wants to tell you very much. But I believe he's afraid. He's very afraid of how you will respond."

Cora bowed her head. "It's as much as I thought. Thank you, Matthew, for your understanding." She exhaled heavily. "All we can do is wait now."

Matthew turned to make his call to Mary's room. Said he'd be back to tell her everything before he returned to Downton to pick up some toiletries for her overnight stay.

He put the receiver down.

"Matthew." Cora inquired, "As you are going home. Would you be so good as to see to Violet? She's far stronger than she makes out, but she will be in need of some reassurance. I'd telephone, but she's always complaining she can't hear anything. I doubt she'll want to return home. We always keep a room ready for her at Downton."

Matthew affirmed. "I will. And I'll check in when I get back. Mary's on the Maternity ward. Room 304 if you want to telephone or go see her. I'll bring everyone's mobile as well."

Matthew returned to his wife's room. Informed her as to as much as he knew about her father's condition. Then said he would not be long in returning with an overnight bag for Mary.

He kissed her lips and lightly rubbed her belly with a ridiculous grin on his face, he turned to leave.

"Go on you." Mary laughed. She was so relieved to hear about her father.

Mary pulled him down for another kiss. Deep and long, she didn't want to let go. "I think Mama will want to sleep in her own bed after she knows Papa is out of surgery. When she does, I want you to go home for the night as well. Sleep in my…" She stopped. "I mean our room. Come back in the morning."

"But I was actually going to sleep here…" his hand pointing to a stiff-backed chair, Matthew stopped at Mary's hand on his cheek.

"That uncomfortable thing?" Mary pulled a face. "I'll be fine. You look done in. You're still jet lagged as well I think. Come back to me in the morning. But before you do, would you do something for me?"

"Anything." Matthew took the opportunity to kiss her again.

"Tell Jerry that I won't be available. You don't need to go into detail, but he'll know what to do." She put a hand to her brow. "I'm going to need to think how to deal with all this."

"But not right now." He kissed her forehead. "Now you rest."

"Alright. Alright." Mary snuggled under the extra blankets she had asked the nurse to bring to the bed.

Matthew drove back to Downton.

Carson it seemed already had arranged for a bag to be packed by Mrs. Hughes.

"Did you …" But Matthew did not finish the thought out loud. Was Mrs. Hughes brought from her own home to do that, he wondered.

"Thank you." He simply replied, then asked. "Has the dowager countess already gone?"

"No." Carson answered. "I asked if she wanted me to hire a taxi, she said she would wait in the library a little longer for word."

"I see. Lord Grantham is in surgery. Mary is resting and will be observed overnight." Matthew told Carson, who he knew would never ask for the information. "Lady Grantham asked that I inform the dowager of her son's progress. I'll go in now."

Matthew detected a wisp of a reassured smile on the older man's face as he led the way towards the library.

He was glad he could bring some comforting words.

Matthew walked around the corner of the red settee to find Violet sipping a cup of tea.

"I heard you come in, Mr. Crawley."

Matthew smiled convivially. "Matthew, please."

"Matthew it is." Violet responded in kind, "You may call me Violet. I take it from your pleasant demeanor that all is as it should be?" She began to pour him a cup.

Matthew sat down opposite and accepted the hot drink gratefully.

"Yes, Lady Grantham…. Erm…Violet. As far as I can report, Robert is currently undergoing exploratory surgery but is expected to make a full recovery. Mary is resting. I'm to bring her some things for an overnight stay."

Matthew's lips twitched in sudden delight. Violet noticed.

"Yes. What is it? You're itching to tell me something more. Good news I trust."

"Mary's having twins it seems."

"My my you two are productive." Violet said dryly.

Matthew appropriately blushed.

"And my son is expected to be out of surgery when?"

Matthew checked his watch. "He should already be in recovery. I need to get Cora her mobile so she can communicate."

"Yes. I'll text her."

Matthew cocked a curious eye brow.

"What?" Violet seemed amused. "I may be a bit hard of hearing according to my daughter in law, but I am getting the hang of typing words on a screen."

"Of course." Matthew replied easily. He rather liked Violet Crawley a great deal. "I'm to bring Mary and Cora's mobiles back to the hospital."

At that Carson walked back inside. "Mrs. Hughes has the case ready by the door."

"Thank you." Matthew nodded.

"Take yourself home." Violet said kindly to Carson. "You've been such a help this evening, but we've finally got it all in hand."

Carson hovered in the doorway. "It's been quite a chop and change evening. But I'll be here at the usual time in the morning to open the house."

Carson retired.

Matthew scratched his chin. "I would have gotten Mary's bag." He said to Violet. "I didn't expect him to get the housekeeper back to the house so late in the evening."

Violet leaned forward. Matthew did the same. She said, "We think they're living in sin." She said the word as an elongated whisper, then tittered in enjoyment. "We let on we have no idea."

Matthew grinned conspiratorially. "I see."

Violet took a sip and they sat for a moment in companionable silence.

"What you said earlier." Violet looked over at Matthew. "About being able to buy Downton because my son's finances are in considerable disarray?"

"I spoke out of turn. I do apologize."

"Not if you spoke the truth. Sometimes hard truths must be told. Was it true?"

Their eyes met in silent understanding.

"That bad?" Violet exhaled in lament. "My son has many good qualities. Finances has never been one of them. What is the nature of this disarray?"

"I can't give details. In part because of the privacy between client and consultant, but Downton is being mismanaged. I put it rather badly in the hope of getting through to him. I can help if he'd let me. Certainly not by buying his estate out from under him, but working to control his debts."

"Let me try." Violet asserted firmly. "I should have taken this in hand much earlier. I'll get through to him."

She stood up. "But right now, you look half dead. Will you make it to the hospital and back?"

Matthew took her arm and they both exited the library. "I'll be fine. It's not that far."

He escorted Violet up the stairs to her rooms and there he wished her a good night.

Violet turned one last time before closing her door. "You've shown your true self this evening."

Matthew looked rather alarmed. She would not forgive his faux pas after all.

"You are just as good a man as Mary said." Violet pronounced. "I am very pleased to welcome you to the family."

Matthew was staggered by such a compliment from such formidable a lady. He bowed and took a step back, saying simply "Good night."

The door closed.

Matthew walked down the stairs, content that despite all the uproar and dissension, it turned out to be a most splendid night indeed.

XX

Mary was asleep when Matthew returned to her hospital room. He left the bag on a chair and her mobile by the bedside.

He kissed her cheek and left. "I'll see you in the morning."

Cora met him at the entrance. "Thank you for driving me back. Robert's still very groggy from the anesthesia. He'll be better tomorrow."

"I'm glad." Matthew replied.

"Maybe we can all start again. When he recovers."

"I hope so." Matthew opened the car door for Cora.

He moved to the driver's side and started the engine. They made good time back to the house. Cora unlocked the front door, set the alarm, and the two wearily made their way up the stairs.

"Mary's room is down the corridor to your…" Cora started to explain, but noticed Matthew had already made the left turn.

He peered over his shoulder sheepishly. They had never told her parents that he had already spent a week end at Downton.

Cora smiled, saying without any further directions. "Good night Matthew. It's been a long day. I'm glad it's ending on a happy note."

Matthew walked down the left corridor and entered Mary's bedroom and threw his bag on the floor, quite ready to do nothing more but shower, brush his teeth, and sleep.

And that was precisely what he did.

Well into the morning.

In fact he overslept, rubbing his eyes against the bright sun as its rays struck his face.

Matthew awoke suddenly. "Dammit." He looked at his mobile. 10:23am. And two messages from Mary.

 **Good morning love. Going to see Papa. Meet you there.**

And another.

 **Still with Papa. Mama's arrived. Have a good long sleep. You deserve it. Remember our appointment with Dr. Walsh is 11:30.**

He raced to dress into jeans and a t shirt. Pulled on the lightweight jacket he brought. Grabbed his keys and exited by the front door. He walked around the house and the half mile towards the horse livery yard.

He saw Jerry outside, walking one of the horses.

"Hello." He called out. "I'm Matthew Crawley."

Jerry Stahl turned around. "Glad to meet you."

The two men shook hands.

"Mary's in hospital." Matthew said.

"Anything serious?" Jerry guided the horse towards the side of the yard.

"No." Matthew was relieved to tell him. "She will be back today. We'll talk more later. It seems I overslept and now I must get to the Village to meet her."

"Give her my best. Everything is in order here. I'll inform Claire not to expect Mary for their weekly office meeting."

"Thank you."

Matthew made his way towards Mary's car and drove the now familiar route to the hospital.

He waited outside Robert's room for Mary. He did not want to start anything he could not finish with Robert and their appointment with Dr. Walsh was pressing.

Mary met him down the hallway.

"Loitering with intent to cause more trouble?" She teased.

Matthew was so happy she was in a good mood. "You look so much better, my love." He kissed her. "I'm so sorry to have slept in. I must have been more tired than I thought."

"You earned it." Mary replied.

They made their way across to another building. "Dr. Walsh is right in here."

After they waited for their appointment, Dr. Walsh confirmed what was so observable the night before.

"Twins indeed." She said to the parents to be. "This changes everything."

And she proceeded to outline how Mary was to take it much easier in the coming days, weeks, and months. A new diet. A new exercise regime. More frequent checkups. More tests.

Mary's head was spinning. "Bed rest for two weeks?" She protested as they left the appointment. "I have responsibilities."

"You trust Jerry, don't you?" Matthew tried to be the diplomat. "And me." Then his mouth pursed playfully, "as much as you hate being out of control, you're going to have to let me take care of some things."

She shivered in simulated horror, "And if you fail in your duties?"

"You'll just have to punish me." His dark tone seduced, his eyes half lidded.

"Oooh…" Mary pursed her lips. "Maybe bed rest won't be such a bad thing after all."

XX

Matthew was so glad Mary was in such good spirits. Her father on the mend, Cora back home. Mary actually accepted the idea of taking an afternoon nap before going over some the accounting with Matthew to catch him up to speed.

He took the opportunity to take a walk down to the village. He wanted to buy some flowers for her bedside.

Instead he noticed a large metal plaque on the side of one of the houses, a square framed house adjacent to the village church.

 **Crawley House 1805** the inscription read.

It must have been one of the estate properties that had gone up for sale in a previous generation. Mary had mentioned her grandfather clearing some acreage. There was no indication it was currently for sale, but that could change given the right price.

Matthew idly scratched his chin in deep thought. An idea fermenting in his brain. He turned down the High Street, scrolling through his smartphone's browser at the same time. Once he found the address indicated on the screen, he entered the office of Foxworth and Mather, Estate Agents.

"Hello" as one approached. "I'm Matthew Crawley." He handed the woman his business card. "I'm interested in a property in your village…"

XX  
 _Wonder what Mary will think of that? :)_

 _More to come! Robert's confessions next! Baby stuff! Hope you review! I love 'em_


	25. Chapter 25: A Long Day Has its Rewards

The snow started on December 22. Light and fluffy, it finally felt like Christmas.

Matthew was returning from a half week trip to London clearing his time for the next fortnight, bringing his laptop in order to do some work from York. CB Properties usually closed over the Christmas holidays and he avoided the office party by saying Mary expected him back at Downton.

It wasn't completely a lie. She was expecting him. Mostly because he never told her there was an office party. He and Lavinia had gone in past years just long enough to make an appearance and then left early. As the owner he knew the employees would rather he leave them to the booze up alone. Tom did much the same, though he always followed it by going with some mates to a local pub after and playing darts into the wee hours.

Matthew pulled the Porsche into the gravel drive at Downton. He had not really protested Mary's desire to spend the holidays at her home. She was still in the latter days of the bedrest on the doctor's orders. He had not yet brought up the notion of purchasing Crawley House as their new home.

Mary seemed to assume he'd move in permanently to Downton.

They had lingered in bed the day he had to leave for London. Her father had returned home the previous afternoon, but was slow to recover. Keeping to himself in the rooms along the other corridor he shared with Cora.

It was still too close for Matthew.

He could never feel completely free to do as he pleased as long he was under another man's roof. Teasing to Mary that he'd been away from parental oversight since the age of 14 when he went to Rugby.

"It's a very big house Matthew." She'd remind him deprecatingly. "I think you'll find it more than enough for four adults. And two children remember. Mama will be such a help."

"But…" He'd try to get a word in.

"Besides I need to be close to the stables. What if something happened? I'm sure you will settle in." And she'd nestle beside him so much in comfort that he had not the heart to say he would never agree to living permanently at Downton.

So here he was pulling in to the Abbey with more clothes and personal items to be used while on this lengthy holiday stay.

But he still felt more than ever that he wanted to get away. Certainly that very night he had arranged finally for their stay at The Deanery hotel in Ripon. He had reset the date after missing the one on account of the emergency visit to the hospital. He hoped to broach the subject of living somewhere close to her family, but creating a space all their own.

For their family.

For themselves.

But not yet. Tonight they had arranged the dinner with his mother in London.

One crisis at a time, he had learned over the past few weeks.

XX

The drive down to London was accomplished in air of nervous tension.

Matthew thrummed the wheel of Mary's Jaguar with his thumb and forefinger. Back and forth.

He fiddled with his tie. Mary had noted the new suit, Armani by the cut of it, pressed to perfection and his brogues polished. He had arrived mid-week from his stay in London to catch up on business to take her to Café Bruno for the dinner with Isobel.

His thumb returned to its rhythmic beat against the steering wheel.

It was driving Mary crazy.

"Matthew." She snapped. "Stop it. It's just your mother. You'd think it was the Queen herself we're having dinner with."

Matthew gave her a lingering side eye.

Mary puckered her lips insouciantly. "As a matter of fact Mama, Granny, and I greeted the Queen and Catherine at the Chelsea Flower Show last year in the Royal Enclosure."

"You would…" Matthew muttered irascibly.

"She's really such a dear." And Mary tittered in a delightful manner at a memory. "Especially as Granny's rose took prize over her own."

Matthew's taut mouth relented. "Quite reassuring." And then curved into a sardonic smile. "If we were meeting the Queen."

"Are you saying your mother is more daunting?" Her doubtful drawl obvious.

"You'll see." He responded shortly. "You'll need to score a real bullseye with her. She's watching both of us quite closely."

"For what?" Mary was now quite attentive. "Matthew, you really are quite nervous. But why? You've told her about us. About the baby."

He cocked an eyebrow. "Not the twin's news." And even on edge as he was that made him grin madly.

"Then we have even more good news to tell her." Mary tried to keep her voice placid. "I know you think she'll believe we're being even more irresponsible, but as you yourself said, she will see reason. We're married. We're having children. It's not ideal…"

He threw her a worried look.

"You know it's not Matthew." Mary said realistically.

"That may be," Matthew said. "But we don't have to emphasize it."

"Is she really that suspicious?" Mary doubted. "You're exaggerating. And letting your dealings with Papa cloud your judgment."

Matthew relented a bit. "Perhaps." He tilted his head towards his wife. "I've gotten so used to defending our marriage that I've hardly had time to enjoy it."

"And are you?" Mary asked softly, believing she already knew the answer. "Enjoying it?"

"Of course." His voice genuine. Hoarse with emotion. "I've never been happier in my life."

He peeked over to see Mary. "And yourself?"

"I am when I'm with you." She said quite enigmatically to Matthew.

But he had no time to question her response as they were pulling into the restaurant lot.

His mother hovered at the entrance, still looking around as she did not recognize Mary's car.

Matthew fidgeted with his tie one more time.

"You look perfect." Mary entwined her fingers around his to control his nervous action.

Her touch, as always, immediately calmed him. "I just want her to have a good first impression."

Matthew unlatched the driver's side door. Walked around the car and opened the passenger door. Mary slid her low-slung heel onto the pavement. She clasped Matthew's hand and he helped her out the rest of the way. He caught a whiff of Mary's addictive lily and jasmine scented perfume. It transported him into a delicious moment of erotic fervor. Later, his mind rebelling against his heart. Later it told him. When you were at The Old Deanery. The long-awaited tryst, just the two of them.

After the business at hand was complete, the long night was theirs alone.

She was dressed in a black knee length long sleeved sheathe dress with a cranberry red cashmere wrap. Pleased it still fit when she tried it on earlier that evening, she decided to wear it before it was too snug around the waist. Her hair was loose, around her shoulders. Just like Matthew liked.

Strands of her tresses grazed Matthew's skin as he closed the car door. He shivered in delight. Turned and kissed her, "Let battle commence," he tried to joke.

Mary raised a poised eyebrow, "We've got this." And with that self-possessed statement of fact, she strode confidently towards her awaiting mother in law.

The side of Matthew's mouth curved into a crooked smile and made a move to follow his wife. Keep to her side, he said to himself. And you won't go wrong.

"Mother." He approached and kissed her cheek. Stood back and clasped Mary's hand. "Mary and I have been looking forward to this immensely."

See, he said to himself, you can lie with the best of them.

"I doubt that." His mother retorted merrily. "But it's very nice of you to say so anyway." She returned her son's kiss with a hug.

Matthew's false bravado crushed, he stepped aside for Isobel to greet Mary.

"So this is Mary." Isobel turned her gaze. "Such a pleasure my dear. You look very smart in that wrap. It suits your complexion."

"Thank you." Mary spoke easily. She shook Isobel's hand.

"Your father on the mend I trust? Matthew told me he had rather a bad time of it."

"He's back in his own bed which he likes." Mary said. "Giving the home health aides rather a hellish time I'm afraid though. All their fussing."

"Men are always the worst patients." Isobel agreed.

The two women gave each a knowing look, first towards themselves then a side eye to Matthew. As if he, for the moment represented all men.

Mary gave him a wicked wink, then elegantly turned to Isobel.

"Shall we go inside and get you out of this chill? I think snow is forecast." Mary walked beside Isobel into the restaurant, leaving Matthew a step behind and mouth agape in wonder.

They obviously didn't need him at all.

XX

Matthew made the drinks order. His mother's favorite wine. Sparkling water for the two of them. He was in the first flush of support over Mary's pregnancy with going on the wagon of no alcohol consumption.

He figured he might just make it through the evening without the need to down several Laphroaig neats before it was all over. Observing his mother during the first moments of the dinner he became more and more appreciative of how she was affecting an air of calm and diplomacy around Mary even as he suspected she felt nothing of the kind.

"You know after all that heat in Las Vegas, I actually am looking forward to a white Christmas." Matthew said as a hopeful conversation opener.

"I'm glad to hear America didn't spoil you." His mother replied, "After three weeks I was afraid you'd not want to come back."

"Never fear." Matthew rejoined soberly. "After all that's going on there, I'll take English problems and English weather any day."

"Good." Mary taunted. "That Elvis chapel…" And she gave a mock shiver. "It will be quite a while before I get any inkling to return there!"

They shared a private laugh.

Isobel glanced in confusion from one to the other. "Elvis? I may not be up on the latest, but isn't he dead?"

"Matthew had me going for a bit that we were to be married at this kind of shrine to Elvis. And be driven off in a rather horrid limousine coloured pink." Mary explained.

"Cadillac." Matthew pedantically corrected in a teasing manner.

"Whatever." Mary countered. "Horrid nonetheless." Then she gave a spot on imitation of Matthew's deadpan delivery, "A bargain at only 99 dollars."

They fell into a fit of the giggles.

Then Matthew realized much to his chagrin his mother looked on at the two of them aghast.

"It was a joke, Mother. Something I did to give Mary a bit of a hard time."

""I should think getting married at the last minute enough was quite enough of a joke." Isobel commented rather too pointedly.

Matthew pursed his lips tightly. "I suppose it was." Was his curt reply.

The conversation lagged awkwardly thereafter until they ordered their dinners. Mary was at a loss as to how to recover Isobel's good graces.

Isobel tried again. "You were in the Olympics?" Isobel enquired. "Or so I believe Matthew informed me. That must have been exciting."

"The trials, yes." Mary clarified, avoiding the pain that usually associated her memories of that time. The failure to make the team. The injury to Diamond. "It was quite exhilarating but unfortunately my horse took lame. My teammates, though, went on to win the gold in dressage. I practiced with Charlotte Dujardin in the weeks before they won. We used to be flat mates when I worked a summer on a horse farm in Gloucestershire."

Even Matthew did not know that. He leaned forward, incredulous. "In Gloucestershire?"

"Don't look so shocked. I mucked out the stables, provided buckets of water, replaced bedding, and cleaned the tack. 'Learn from the ground up' the head groom said to me on my first day. It's the only way to success." Mary always remembered those words in the broad tones of her Lancashire native boss.

The atmosphere lightened a bit.

Matthew proudly informed his mother, "Mary won first prize just last month at the Berkshire Horse Trials. It was thrilling to watch her." His eyes shone bright as he remembered watching the ease with which she glided over each of the fences.

"But no more of that I expect." Isobel knowingly observed. "At least not for the foreseeable future." She turned sympathetically to Mary. "I know you had a bit of a turn a few days ago. I do hope you are feeling better now?"

"I am." Mary's eyes darted stealthily over to Matthew. He radiated support with his warm eyes. "As a matter of fact the doctor has had to put me on a special diet. I felt faint because I wasn't getting enough nutrients."

"Why is that?" Isobel inquired, furrowing her eyebrows. "Nothing serious? It's been my experience very few young mothers-to-be know just much care goes into the nurturing of an unborn child."

Matthew felt Mary bite back the retort that formed on her lips. Instead she gave an unassuming nod and fell silent but cast a deep, penetrative glance at Matthew saying with her eyes, 'and now it's your turn Mr. Crawley.'

Matthew got her unsaid message. He picked up the conversation with the revelation of "Mary's having identical twins, Mother. The doctor recommended she reduce her activities for the foreseeable future. We're going to be going back within the fortnight for a more intensive examination and sonogram. We might even find out the sex." He ended on the most optimistic note possible under the circumstances.

He knew this information was once again not going to be met with any kind of unbridled enthusiasm from his mother.

For the first thing she was eminently practical. Like their wedding, it was all too soon for her endorsement.

She had wanted grandchildren.

In another life.

With another wife.

And now It was a great deal to swallow.

Isobel replied with only a hint of acerbity, "Twins. Well that is something isn't it."

His mother gave very little away, but Matthew saw the tense spasm of her cheek. The barely discernible flash of disquiet in her eyes. The need to say more, to chastise these wayward children.

But instead she refrained from doing so. Matthew knew that it was her way of trying to be fair. To start to accept her son was married, expecting a child… children with someone she barely knew.

It had to be enough, he thought. Too much to ask for any more.

And then he was flabbergasted when she revealed, "Twins do run in the family, you know. Like my cousins, David and Donald."

Matthew's face fell in utter shock. He spluttered, "Who are they? You've never mentioned twins in our family!"

He and Mary shared an astonished expression. Mary's eyes narrowed as if to say,ha it is your fault.

His mother shrugged, "Emigrated to Canada when I was a child. I suppose I've never had cause to talk of them. Haven't seen them since." Isobel explained to her son.

"Well…well. You'll have your hands full for sure." Isobel patted Mary's hand. "Matthew better pull up his socks and pitch in."

Mary leapt at the opportunity to say, "Matthew's been nothing but wonderful. He's been such a support. He must have traveled four or five times between home and the hospital the night it all happened. Got hardly any rest. Mama confided she quite wouldn't have known what to do without him." She gave her husband a quick look of such love that it fairly made his heart burst with joy.

Isobel sat against the hard back of her chair. Took in her son. His wife. Their intimate exchange of eyes and smiles.

And she too began to smile. Not a forced one, or a fixed one. But a genuine one.

A relieved one.

A happy one.

XX

"Thank God that's over." Matthew threw himself on the bed. Reached his hand out towards Mary. "Come here."

"You'll make me untidy." Mary said making her voice sultry and seductive. "I might just have to take this off first." And she indicated to Mathew to unbutton her dress.

He sat back up with a grunt. "With pleasure." And his hands roamed slowly first around her waist, feeling the growing baby bump, then kissed the small arch of her back as he unzipped the dress and pulled it off her shoulders.

His low murmurs of endearments accompanying each activity. "My darling…"

His eyes stared at her. His pupils dilated with sexual desire. He kissed and ran his tongue against her skin.

Unable to keep her balance as she swayed deliciously in his arms, Mary fell against him. Felt her skin against the silk of his suit jacket. His lips found her nipples first.

Tugged.

Pulled.

She moaned and pulled herself closer to his mouth, his teeth.

Demanded he continue as gasps of pleasure escaped her mouth. "More…More…" She became hoarse as each sensation took her breath away.

His tongue encircled each nipple, the areola growing larger and pinker with each flick and taste. He bit each nipple delicately at first, until she demanded he take them full on. Matthew pushed against her arse, taking off the rest of her dress. He then began to massage each cheek of her derriere with his long fingers. Grunting and needing her all the more.

They fell against the bed covers.

"See." Matthew took precious time away from his ministrations to say, "I told you this was a good idea."

Mary was already unbuttoning his shirt greedily, pushing up the undershirt to feel his skin, prickle the hairs of his chest. Make him gasp as her hand slip under his belt and felt his large arousal.

The fireplace was roaring and emanating heat out into spacious room. The penthouse of The Old Deanery was the perfect choice Mary had to admit for a week end tryst. To unwind after the long drive back to York. Now that the dinner was over with Isobel. Now that it had gone as well as could be expected. Her father was home, recovering. Still irascible but mending.

She felt she could finally relax. They had told everyone all their news.

It was all out in the open.

Mary placed delicate kisses along his line of his ribs. She felt his sweaty heat. The rise and fall of his chest. Rhythmic beats of his heart. She heard it pounding as her touch increased his sexual desire. His breaths coming in short heaves, followed by long sighs of craving more.

She moved atop his body, lithe and stalking after her own pleasure. She pulled off his trousers and underpants. His body was revealed to her. Sleek, tight at the vee shape of his groin. His muscles rippled with each exerted breath. Straddling him she felt the length of his shaft against her wet inner thighs. Rubbing it up and down within the folds of her, she shuddered as the sensations came. Waves of pleasure engulfed her mind. Her actions grew faster and faster. She could feel every inch of his growing arousal. Hardening and pulsating. Stroking him so hard now she felt a heat rise all over her body.

And then she took all of him inside her. Sliding down on his shaft, feeling every inch descend into the depths of her heat and her warmth. His hands balancing her as he gripped and dug his nails into her backside. He thrust upwards, making Mary throw her head back, her hair loose and tangled.

She sat back on her haunches and gave him an angle of such erotic pleasure he could stand no more. Her breasts were full. She touched them until he was on the edge of oblivion, tugged each in turn to torture and provoke him to higher moans of ecstasy.

She almost fell apart as a loud animalistic groan escaped his lips. Her body was quivering, alive with heat and need.

"Want this?" Her voice ragged, sensuous and taunting. Her mouth shaped in a wicked smile. She pushed her breasts up against his face, leaning down so each nipple danced in front of his eyes. Her thighs still locked tight. His hard shaft plunged deep within her body. He bucked and thrust madly, chasing each wave of addictive pleasure.

He answered by pushing one and then the other breast into his mouth. Tighter and tighter he bound herself to him by nipping and biting harder and harder.

Her face came down to meet his.

She wanted even more. Stabbing his mouth with her tongue, she plunged it down his throat until his own wrapped around hers and pushed past her teeth to cling to her palette, sliding the length of his tongue across the top of her mouth, just as his shaft thrust deeper and deeper into her body.

Mary's peak was like lightening. It moved up her spine, her stomach tightened. Low moans came in rapid bursts and her body twitched in crests of delight.

She claimed him as her own as his body chased the climax he needed to feel. The intensity, painful but he held out as long as he could. Each thrust bringing greater and greater buildup of pressure. The threshold was crossed, however, and the release that followed made him buck even harder against her. The contractions rapid fire, each creating waves of insane pleasure.

Mary crashed against his body. He caught her and gently turned so that he released himself from her body even as his arms came around and pulled her tight to his naked form.

"That was wonderful," she whispered in his ear. Her tongue still playing with his earlobe. "Exactly what I needed."

His arms encircled her. "Me too, my darling." She cuddled against his still sweat soaked skin.

Matthew was glad he had remembered to bring his sketchbook along. Another in the series of drawings of Mary would commence that night.

XX

 _Another needed quiet interlude after a great deal of anxiety. I think they deserved it! Don't you?_


	26. Chapter 26: Idyll

**At The Old Deanery: next morning**

"We really should get a move on."

But Mary made no real effort to leave Matthew's arms.

Matthew burrowed deeper into the bedcovers. Nuzzled against Mary's cheek.

"It's cold outside." He reasoned. "Let's wait a bit."

"Mama is expecting us. Sybil arriving late this morning. Edith and Bertie too. I wanted to get everything out of the way beforehand."

She heaved a sigh but did not protest at all as Matthew kept her by his side. Stroking her belly under the duvet. Instead she shivered in delight.

"You already Skyped Jerry and he said with the snowfall expected later tonight nothing is on the agenda for today." Matthew's logic was impeccable.

But Mary had an answer. "All the more reason to get home. Before it starts."

Matthew peeked his eyes over the covers at a streak of brilliant sunlight flooding across the room from the slit in the curtained windows. He nestled her closer to him. "Plenty of time."

His hand slid towards her inner thigh. Inside the folds. She parted her leg, squeezed her arse against his lower torso. He groaned as she glided her wet flesh up and down against his growing arousal.

"No…" He could hardly get out the word, his speech failing him as he lost himself once again to Mary's sweet ministrations. "We're not going anywhere."

XX

Matthew's hand paused in mid motion. His fingers hovered over the pencil sketch of Mary eating breakfast in bed. Clad in the handmade silk slip, knickers, and bed jacket he had purchased while in London for an early Christmas present Mary presented a delicious image. One he could not resist, so out came the sketchbook.

Mary had changed into the garments after they had ordered room service. Matthew pulled on a pair of jeans and opened the door. He brought the tray over to her sitting crossed legged under the duvet.

She had tucked into the breakfast, saying "Yummy." Whole grain waffle, cup of yogurt, dried fruit, banana, and milk.

Matthew gazed up from his coffee. He had chosen a similar breakfast except for the coffee. Mary had said it was a myth that women could not consume coffee during pregnancy, but just in case she would drink the milk.

Matthew could not function without caffeine in the morning. He would usually take an insulated mug to the gym near his London flat where he worked out on the rowing machine before heading into the office. He had not yet found a nearby gym in Downton or Ripon. He thought he'd eventually bring his own rowing machine out of storage. Perhaps to Crawley House once he ever got up the nerve to tell Mary that he'd made an offer. The house had not been exactly for sale but the estate agent said she'd make discrete inquiries as to whether Matthew's rather generous offer would be accepted.

He got distracted with that musing by watching Mary cut and slice the waffle, open her mouth, and savour every bite, her tongue twisted around the fork.

He noticed she chose to swathe the waffle with maple syrup.

"What?" She asked insouciantly. "I am following every low sugar, low fat regulation of Dr. Walsh. I think a little indulgence is fine. I am eating for two...no three!"

And she taunted Matthew by waving a forkful of waffle covered in syrup in front of his face. He leaned over the bed and took the bite slowly in his mouth.

Licked his lips, then pulled Mary in for a sticky, sweet kiss. "Yummy indeed." His voice rich and seductive. He almost tilted over the tray in his haste to reach over pull her in for a longer caress.

"Not now…" Mary said through a muffled mouthful of waffle. "After…" And she playfully pushed him away. "I've still got the yogurt and fruit."

Matthew guffawed and returned to the end of the bed. He leaned against the large post and reached over to his bag to get the sketch book.

"I must look a fright." Mary protested.

"No such thing." He riposted cheekily. "You always look gorgeous to me."

She glowered at him. "My hair's not brushed. We've not even showered."

A rascally grin danced on his lips as he declared, "Perfection my darling." And he started to brush the graphite pencil across the paper.

After a few strokes he glanced up from under his eyelashes. She was ever so coyly smiling, enjoying his attentions.

Matthew spent a few minutes trying to get the first strokes down. He finally said, "So what do you think about names?"

"Baby names?" Mary scrunched her face into a frown, taking a scoop of the yogurt. "We don't even know the sex."

"True." Matthew said, peeking back and forth between Mary and his sketchbook. "But we should probably toss around some suggestions."

"Such as?" Mary took a sip of the glass of milk.

"Well…" Matthew thought for a moment, "there are rhyming names. Like um…. Blake and Jake."

"No." Mary said categorically.

"There were twins at my school named Gage and Sage." Matthew offered up. "Though I hated them both. It was a great pleasure to see their mirror looks of horror as we defeated them in double sculls."

Mary shivered in mock disgust. "Too trendy. I'd rather traditional names."

"Or… theme names. Say Patience and Constance."

"Do you have a story for them as well?" She asked drolly.

He looked up, scrunched his face as if in deep thought. "I dated a Patience once." He waited a beat before adding with a short cough and a laugh, "She wasn't very..Patient that is. Bit more eager I'd have called her."

Mary tossed a pillow at him.

He caught it and laughed exuberantly. "What are your suggestion, then?"

"If girls Ava and Olivia." Mary asserted with far more quickness than Matthew expected.

"Boys?" He dared ask.

"George and Jeremy." No doubt in her response.

"Boy and girl?" He threw out. She looked doubtful. "Rare but possible. I looked it up," he asserted. "Like Game of Thrones."

"Ummm…Emma and Ethan." She rejoined quickly.

Matthew was dumbfounded. "I thought you said it was too early to even think of such things."

"Sybil gave me a book." She puckered her lips and shrugged. "I might have just thumbed through it."

"Ah Ha!" He cried out. "And are those decisions final? I don't know I might rather like say…" He pulled out his smartphone and scrolled around. "Uh… Chase and Jace? Dax and Pax? Kent and Trent?" He started to laugh as he could feel Mary put down the tray and crawl across the bed towards him.

He got one last out, "Lester and Ester!" before Mary squealed in utter repugnance and tossed the mobile on the floor. "No more of that…" And she buried his mouth in kisses.

They rolled over the sketchbook in haste to undress. Matthew felt it under his shoulder. He carefully placed it on the nightstand before turning back to Mary, who lay on the bed, lingerie disarrayed in a most becoming manner.

She tossed her hair just as she knew he liked it.

He groaned, immediately aroused by her actions. He pulled down the knickers, kissing all along her belly and moved his face, his lips, his tongue closer to the folds of her inner thighs. They were wet and inviting.

Mary pushed herself closer to him, arching her back and whimpering demands as he vigorously pushed his tongue into her wetness. He grated against the sensitive ridge of the spot that most drove her mad.

She screamed and panted, delirious and barely conscious of time passing.

Nothing would do but to finish her climax with a series of upward thrusts of his long tongue making her thighs shudder against his cheeks as her breath exited her mouth in delicious tones of ecstasy.

Mary fell against the bed covers, an erotic look of pure exhausted lust across her face.

Her eyes opened, half lidded, dilated. Matthew's hair was pushed down over his face, his cheeks flushed with exertion. His mouth puffy and red from his intense need to prolong her release.

"Come here…" She whispered in hoarse, suggestive tones.

Matthew didn't need to be invited twice.

XX

They were finally dressing after another unhurried love making session first on the bed and later extended in the shower. Matthew's hand had caressed every secret part of her body. She leaned into him under the spray of water, all wet slippery kisses and tangled body parts.

She took him into herself. She felt his taut, hard body push against her.

They didn't know where one stopped and the other began.

Matthew was drying off his hair, a towel still around his waist. Mary was brushing her hair after pulling on a turtleneck and leggings.

"Mrs. Hughes was so good to take charge of the Christmas decorations this year. She and Mama usually organize the tours together, but with everything upended she did it all herself. We have two tours today." Finishing with her hair, she turned back towards the bed.

Matthew was surprised. "So how often is the house opened?" It was another curious point he wanted to further investigate but was unsure of how well that would go down with Robert. Or Carson come to think of it. Both men might see his interest in the running of Downton as a business venture as interfering in places he had no right to be. So he was still very much in the dark, but he suspected there would be possible changes that could help alleviate some, but certainly not all, of Downton's debts.

"It's open every other week end for two tours. At Christmas, we add several more." Mary pulled on her boots. "So there's another reason we really should get back."

"Does the family participate?" Matthew asked, buttoning his shirt before putting on the warm jumper he brought from his London flat. He knew the snow was expected and packed accordingly.

"We sometimes contribute. At the beginning or end of the tour we thank them for visiting and maybe tell a family story or two. Most are quite polite and interested."

"And then what?"

"We go to Christmas Eve service at the village church. And then home for spiked egg nog or cocoa. Granny stays the night and next morning we fend for ourselves as everyone has the day off."

She turned to her new husband. "I'm glad we invited your mother for Christmas dinner. I do hope she'll like the vintage brooch we picked out for her present."

"I'm sure she will." Matthew said. "On Christmas can walk to the station to meet her. That will also allow us to get out on our own for a bit."

"Is that important for you?" Mary was curious. "Apart of course from just wanting to be alone." She brushed her hand along his shoulders, a gesture Matthew had grown to love. Simple. Tactile. Connecting them together.

He tilted his head to capture her hand against his cheek. He moved to kiss her fingertips as they grazed his skin.

"I come from a very small family compared to yours. It can get overwhelming being around so much family. I think better in a quieter head space."

"I hope it will be special, though. It will for me. Now that you're going to be a part of it all." She leaned over and languidly kissed his lips.

"I can't wait." He pulled away reluctant to lose the warmth of her lips on his.

But Mary sensed a hesitation in Matthew's enthusiasm.

"What?" She looked concerned.

There was so much left unsaid still between them. Matthew wanted to linger in these moments of just the two of them forever. He knew it was impossible.

Life got in the way.

Truths had to be spoken.

"You said something last night when we pulled into the car lot at the restaurant. You asked if I was happy."

Mary sat down on the bed beside him. "And you said you have never been happier in your life. Thank you for that darling."

"I mean it." Matthew repeated ardently. "I know I should be much more guilty perhaps. Or cautious. Tom says this is quite unlike me. But I don't care. I know we've got a long road ahead of us. The children. Robert. Getting to know each other."

"We'll certainly argue." Mary pointed out.

"I'm sure we will." Matthew didn't even dare bring up the potential first blow up about their living arrangements quite yet. "But it won't matter to me. While I am a cautious businessman, inclined to think the worst in others, I love you so recklessly, so without condition it terrifies me. And yet it makes me even more certain we can weather anything."

Mary didn't answer. She seemed frozen in place.

Had he frightened her? It all came in such a rush of words, of emotions. Suddenly drained of thought, he felt at sea.

A chasm of silence between them.

He began to tap his fingers nervously against his leg.

Not daring to look at her. He had said too much.

Unexpectedly Mary slipped down on the floor, knelt in front of him and clasped each side of his face inside her hands.

His eyes gazed searchingly into hers. He felt her warm touch. His fingers were numb as the fumbled to entwine into hers.

"I love you," Mary declared, her hand stealing down his chest to his thumping heart. She closed her eyes and felt it speak to her.

She then reopened them to greet the bluest eyes she had ever seen.

He looked for any sign of doubt. He found none.

"Then what?" He asked, a desperation creeping in. "You said you weren't as happy. What can I do?"

Mary lowered herself down onto her calves. Matthew responded by slipping off the bed to rest beside her on the floor.

"There's nothing you can do, but be yourself. It's me. As you said you weren't used to having a large family. I'm not used to trusting my heart. When I'm with you, I feed off of your love. We are one. But your unconditional love frightens me, if I'm being honest. It's such a dramatic gesture. You've given up your entire life for me."

He started to protest.

She wouldn't let him. "You have Matthew. You had a wife. A home. You can't say that didn't matter to you."

"No." He admitted truthfully. "I would never say that."

"And you loved Lavinia."

His eyes beetled back and forth in utter confusion. What was the point of dredging all this up again?

"Yes, but not as much as I should. I found myself in your love. Is that what frightens you?"

"Not as such." Mary struggled to explain. "It is overpowering."

"Stifling you mean?" Matthew looked alarmed.

"No. Not at all. Indeed the opposite. I feel so secure, so loved when I'm with you. Your love shines and I can bask its warmth, its strength. But it is also quite seductive."

Matthew blinked in certain confusion. "Seductive? I'm not trying to beguile you."

"Oh Matthew. You don't have to try. Mary responded dryly. "You've got charm oozing from your pores."

That broke the tense mood. He chuckled as his cheeks flushed red. "I don't understand then."

"It's so easy to love you when we're together. I need to learn to do so when we're apart."

"Because you don't?" A plaintive tone entered his voice, but he shook his head. "No. That can't be it." He laughed and pulled her in for another kiss. Her lips were warm, inviting. "Do you mean you feel less independent? Less living for yourself?"

"Maybe a bit. The selfish part of me. The part that's is afraid. To become less by giving so much of myself to someone else."

"I can respect that." Matthew said, more calmly than he felt. He believed it was one of the very reasons Lavinia didn't challenge the divorce too much. She had realized much the same. "I never want to do that to you."

"But it's more… It's just so much has happened." Mary tried to put her inarticulate feelings into words. "I'm finding it hard to get my feet under all these changes. I had a plan with the business. My riding. Now all that has changed. And new things have taken their place. Our marriage. A baby. Now two babies. You seem to take it so much in stride. And being with you allows me to lean on your strength of purpose. And when we've been apart recently, the doubts creep in. Not about us…." She hastened to add.

Matthew was slowly beginning to understand. He started to nod affirmation.

"I'm happy Matthew. And crazy in love with you. But to be so happy is just not me!" Mary shook her head with incredulity. "I make no guarantees it will last. I am by nature a fighter. We will have all sorts of arguments."

"It's all I would expect. I'm always up for a good argument." He said evenly, "But," coming back with a scrunch of his nose and a scratch to his head, "A lot of what you see hides an appalling stubborn streak as well. I like getting my way just as much as you."

"Hmmmm…." Mary's eyes danced playfully. "I think I'm liking this marriage more and more."

She moved in for another kiss.

The side of his mouth curved into a smile. "I will say, however, if speaking the truth. The surety you see is really just my game face. The one I wear into a meeting where you don't want them to see you sweat."

She laughed. "Well that is very good to know."

"You are wrong about one thing though." Matthew said in sudden seriousness.

"What?" Mary furrowed her brow in confusion.

"I do think my Mary is the true Mary. The one who is happy. The one who makes me so very, very happy as well."

He clasped her waist with his arms, drew her to him. "Between us we have strength and stubbornness to withstand anything I think."

"Shall we put it to the test?" Mary inquired only half-teasing.

He arched a curious eyebrow.

"Papa's off his bed rest completely. He'll be down for Christmas with the entire family. Will you be ready?"

He heaved a heavy sigh. "I can only say I'll do my best."

Matthew's creased brow and downcast eyes made Mary realize just how heavy a burden this was on her husband.

"It's not just his finances, is it?" She asked with dread in her tone.

He swallowed before answering. He so wished Robert would just get on with telling the family. They deserved the truth. "No. It's not. I can't say more."

"But it will affect us all? As a family?"

He blinked, saying cautiously. "Yes. I think it will."

Mary visibly shivered. He so wanted to give her words of comfort. But he had no idea how Robert intended to reveal his affair. His son born out of wedlock. His titular heir.

Those sorts of revelations could potentially destroy the fabric of the Crawley family.

Matthew pulled Mary close into his embrace.

Or clear the air and allow for a new chapter to be written.

"I'm sorry you had to be dragged into all this." Mary buried her head in his chest. "You didn't ask for it."

No, Matthew thought as he cradled Mary in his arms. Wanting to protect her from what was to come. But he was an unwilling partner of the conspiracy to keep the information from the her.

Would she resent him bitterly for it?

He closed his eyes, hated to even think about it. Held her tight. He'd be there for her. No matter the consequences.

XX

 _Yes I know it's impossible to have identical boy/girl twins...just messing around with that. Maybe Mary will get scientific next chapter_

 _Ok… I really just wanted more time of them together. I hope you liked it. These conversations will continue to take place as they return to Downton for the Christmas festivities. I hope this story is all you want it to be._


	27. Chapter 27:Can the Crawley Family Stand?

Christmas eve had been quiet and uneventful. Matthew for reasons that were unknown to Mary spent most of the day away from Downton. He had been vague as to why, saying only she'd know in due course. She wondered if it was really to get out of participating in the tours she had told him were conducted throughout the day. Robert remained upstairs with all the people milling about in the public areas. Mary and Sybil were on hand to answer questions, point out the famous painting in the dining room, and give a couple of family anecdotes.

One kindly older woman, after Mary told her about hiding from her granny for two days in the stables, said "I don't think you'll be doing any of that any time soon."

Mary looked puzzled. "Because I know better now?" She tried to say in good humour.

"No my dear." She pats her arm. "Because of the little one. Blessings be upon you and your future child."

Mary's cheeks flushed.

Sybil added, "Twins." Then as a jokey aside, "Just like Beyoncé, Mary has to keep up with all the trends you know."

Mary rolled her eyes at her sister's gibe but a smile danced on her lips. It was becoming real. She was growing every day. She could not pull on anything this morning but some leggings. After Christmas she was going to have to do some serious maternity clothes shopping.

Where was Matthew? She remembered his hands on her body this morning. Warm, inviting, tender. They had lingered on her belly. He kissed it. Whispering endearments to the children inside. His sounds vibrated on her skin, a wash of love surrounding her.

They had all spent Christmas Eve among family. Matthew arrived back in the evening, rushed upstairs to shower and change, and met the family for dinner. Edith and Bertie arrived in time as well. Violet had called asking for someone to pick her up as she didn't want to drive at night with the potential for snow so Bertie asked Matthew if he wanted to ride along. Matthew agreed and the two men left in Bertie's BMW X5. The two new sons-in-law found much in common on the drive to the Dower House. Bertie and Matthew shared memories of Rugby school. Both had the exacting English teacher Edwina McCormick and both had striven to earn her approval.

"I wrote two essays for her on the works of TS Eliot." Matthew remembered. "Hoping that if the first didn't work, the second would impress. She tore the second one up right in front of me."

Bertie chuckled. "Did she not even read it?"

"No." Matthew blurted out. "I said, probably with way too much conceit, what did you do that for? She gave me that steely eyed glance only long time teachers of smartass students can perfect and said, 'you handed it to me after the first one.' I retorted 'you didn't even read it.' I was spluttering mad by this point. Coolly Mrs. McCormick replied, 'if you put your best effort into the first essay which is what I expect of you Mr. Crawley, you needn't write another to dazzle me into submission with your academic showmanship. One would suffice if you had the confidence. You lack it. I don't expect this to happen again.'"

His spot on imitation of their teacher's Glaswegian accent made Bertie crack up. "What then?"

"I was summarily dismissed with a flick of her hand. I left positively filled with righteous indignation." Matthew still remembered the clenched fists, the red face, the evil intended glint in his eyes.

"I never got so much as a by your leave by her so you must have been special." He turned to Matthew. "Did you succeed in winning her over?"

Matthew slyly smirked. "I won First Prize in the Memorial competition the following term. She helped put me up for the scholarship to Cauis College."

"Top man." Bertie replied with a chuckle. "Edith had told me you built up your own company. I have a few real estate investments in Northumberland. Mostly in commercial properties in the North East and Germany. Maybe we could talk."

Matthew agreed as they pulled into the driveway of the Dower House. He got out to help Violet inside. The weather was turning bitterly cold.

He greeted her as she presented her cheek for a kiss. "Good evening Violet. Is this your only bag?" Matthew reached down for a small case.

"Yes. Thank you." Bertie stepped over to open the door and help her inside. Matthew placed the bag in the storage area and got in the back seat. "So pleasant to be escorted by two such gentlemen." Violet said. "I do hope there's a warm fire in the library at Downton. The place can be so draughty." And she gave a little tittering laugh. "Such a pile of bricks. But it can be glorious with a fire on Christmas eve."

"I believe Mary had Carson order a roaring one before the last of the employees left when the tours ended." Matthew said. "I'll keep it going for you."

Matthew appreciated Violet's support of him when he first arrived. They got on well.

They had all retired after consuming the traditionally made by Cora currant and nutmeg bourbon and cream sherry spiked egg nog and biscuits. Mary had none, but she told Matthew to drink one in her name. "Or two…" She teased with a saucy wink.

They retired upstairs quickly giggling and chasing each other to dive naked under the sheets, warming each other with their bodies and their love.

The next morning Matthew had never been in a better mood.

Robert had come down for breakfast with the family looking in much better health and humour than Matthew had frankly ever seen him. They had shaken hands and greeted each other. Exchanged some pleasantries. Robert had mentioned a walk around the estate as his doctor told him he needed to take some exercise every day. Matthew informed him as to the turn in the weather by pointing out the window. The snow was falling steadily and was expected to do so all day. Mary had already snickered in glee that Matthew's tiny sport car was already up to its doorframe in snow. They had given up the idea of walking to the church for Christmas morning services, instead Matthew drove Cora, Violet, and Mary in the Land Rover after some estate employees cleared the roads in and out of Downton's main entrance. They had returned just in the nick of time as the snowfall was even more heavy. Isobel had already called saying that her train was delayed and to not expect her now until the next day at the earliest.

Bertie had been busy in the kitchen cooking up a large batch of bacon, eggs, and toast. After laying it all out on the sideboard in the dining room, Edith and Sybil collected the ingredients for the turkey dinner from the larder and began to prepare the midday Christmas meal.

Once Mary, Matthew, and the two countesses returned home, they all retired to the library for the exchange of presents. Robert had been dozing in a chair, his golden retriever Daphne asleep at his feet.

A quiet exchange of presents proceeded.

Robert liked the antique pocket watch Matthew had found in London on Mary's suggestion. He found an 1860s Dent & Co mechanical movement manual winding watch with a porcelain hand painted dial and a silver case. He had sent a picture to Mary via a text and she approved. There had been an old collection of snuff boxes collected by an earlier earl, but Robert preferred these Victorian watches.

Matthew had thoughtfully made a large donation to Sybil's favorite charity WellChild that helps children with serious or exceptional health needs get the care they need at home wherever possible. The card of thanks enclosed in a box alongside a French language _Traite d'anatomie topographique_ textbook from Mary. Matthew had thumbed through it and found it gruesomely fascinating. Perfect Mary responded. Sybil would love it.

And she did. "Philippe-Frederic Blandin was among the first to describe grafting." She explained to Matthew, showing him an illustration. "He called it _autoplastie_."

"I think Matthew's probably had enough of those graphic plates." Edith noted with a disgusted scrunch of her nose. "Especially on Christmas morning." And she whisked Sybil back to the kitchen to check on the turkey.

Matthew was grateful for Bertie keeping a kind of peace between himself and Robert, engaging the two of them in light conversation instead of the silence that had befallen them again.

He moved to sit beside Mary and picked up a book from the pile of Mary's gifts.

Mary was pleased Matthew was already perusing the latest Ian Rutledge mystery. She had discovered quite by accident Matthew's love of detective fiction. Glancing over at his mobile while at the condo in South Lake Tahoe she noticed it was opened up on a Val McDermid novel describing in chilling terms a murder scene. He had said it oddly helped him relax by engaging his mind in solving the crime, though in all honesty he still preferred an actual physical copy of a book. It was just easier when traveling to load the eBook version into his mobile. So Mary, with the help of a clerk at Waterstone's chose a variety of mysteries for a present. The WWI shellshock detective stories came highly recommended.

He glanced up when she chose the large box with a big bow, the last present to be opened. He started to tap the cover his book with his fingertips.

Mary undid the wrapping, opened the box to find it largely empty except for some packing material.

"Dig around." He suggested with a sly nod. In actuality the idea that seemed so clever the night before, was now racing through his mind as the most screwed up notion guaranteed to make his brand new wife divorce him on the spot. He fretfully bit the side of his mouth.

"Ah…" Mary finally found something. She dug it out. "A key?"

Matthew's eyes darted quickly back and forth.

Immediately Mary knew something was up. "What is this Matthew?" She turned the key in her hand, confused.

"Well uh…" He scratched the side of his face as a delay.

Then both were startled by a cry from the other room. Robert had taken a call and removed himself from the library into the salon. They heard a clatter of something on the floor.

Cora looked up from where she was drinking a cup of tea with Violet.

Mary quickly walked into the outer room. "Papa?"

At the anxiety in her voice, Matthew and Cora made for the salon as well.

Robert leaned against the fireplace masonry. The mobile still on the floor.

"Here Papa." Mary said, scooping it up and handing it to him.

"Thank you my dear." He held out his hand. Mary gave to him, but his shaking made her very scared.

"Are you alright Papa? Maybe you should lie down. You've already had a long morning."

Robert stood up to his full height. "No." His voice growing in strength. He turned to the family gathered around him. He heaved a sigh, speaking "I've run away from things far too long."

He looked at Matthew. "Truths need to be spoken. You've been trying to tell me that for a while now. I … I wasn't ready. I am now."

Matthew bowed his head, understanding. "Has something happened?" He asked cautiously.

Robert gave an almost imperceptible nod, his face pale. He turned to Cora. "Can we all go inside the library. Together as a family. I … I need to tell you some things."

Mary didn't know whether to be relieved that all was to be revealed at last, or fearful as to the changes those revelations would bring. Matthew walked over and clasped her hand.

She looked to Matthew for some sign.

He grazed her knuckles with his fingertips. But he wouldn't meet Mary's eyes.

He too was afraid.

He was suddenly afraid of the fallout of Robert's confessions. He had wanted it for so long, thinking it would clarify things. Make it easier for everyone to move forward. But it could so very, very easily all go wrong. Mary had accepted that he knew more than he told. She never forced him to give up her father's confidences. But he feared that once she knew, she'd feel bitter about his complicity.

Were the fragile early days of their marriage already to be tested?

They walked in together.

He'd find out sooner rather than later.

Cora took the seat next to her husband. Mary and Matthew on the red divan. The others moved chairs around.

Robert could not sit. He started to pace in front of the fire.

"I know you all are aware of certain discrepancies in my finances." He looked to each in turn. "Well as much as I'd like to lay the blame on others. On the CFO of Grantham. On the costs of running such a large house. But I can't. There's more. Much more…"

He continued to pace. "That phone call was from a nurse's aide in Atlanta, Georgia in the United States to tell me that Jane is dead."

Cora's hoarse gasp filled the silent space.

"Mama?" Sybil asked, running over and taking her hand. "What do you mean Papa? Who is Jane?"

"It's all to come out now Sybil. No more secrets. Six years ago your mother and I almost divorced. She…" Robert's eyes closed rather than look at the face of the woman he had so wronged. "She found out I had a brief relationship with a woman who used to work here. I broke it off when I realized I was a vain fool. We made it through." He then looked at Cora. "She's got a heart so full of love and kindness she forgave me my indiscretions. It took some time, but I hope I have made her happy once again."

Cora's eyes, etched in pain of dredging up old wounds, tried not to tear up. "You have, my love."

Robert's voice gagged and heaved with heavy emotion. "And now I have to destroy it again. For I have kept more from you than you know."

Cora looked on steady, awaiting her fate.

In one breath Robert confessed rapidly, "Jane was with child. I didn't even know until a year or so after Peter's birth. She did not tell me. I started to help her out with some money. Then she fell ill. Pancreatic cancer. Peter was attending Cundall Manor School as a day student. She wasn't getting the right treatment. I spent more money to get specialists. They recommended a Cancer Treatment Center in the United States. A few months ago she left for the latest treatments where I paid for all the costs because no insurance would take her. Nothing worked. Peter moved to live with her sister in Wales. I paid for his upkeep and more schooling and care."

He was almost a spent force. The room was as silent as a tomb.

He had to finish. He deserved no sympathy.

"Jane died yesterday afternoon." Robert's voice was frayed. "I kept all of this because she asked me to. She didn't want to disrupt anything. She never asked for me to help her. I did because I thought it was the right thing to do. …" He was rattled. Shot. "And now she's dead. And I … I am ashamed I did not tell you all sooner. You deserved to know the truth. As it went on it was easier I thought to just keep it to myself. Later I kept saying. I'll tell later... Until later became months. And then years."

Robert turned to Matthew. The younger man turning a paler shade of white at the knowledge his involvement was about to come to light. He tightened his grip around his jawline with clenched fingers.

A Christmas to remember indeed.

"When Matthew here presented me with some facts related to misappropriation of funds at Grantham LTD I disclosed to him certain of these secrets."

Mary's eyes glared surreptitiously at her husband. His eyes were beetling fast. What was there to say? It was true. He kept Robert's dirty secrets. But such a discussion with his wife would come later in the privacy of their bedroom. He would tell her he had no choice. It had to be so. And hope she understood.

"I wronged him by entrusting him and then withdrawing support because I felt I had miscalculated. When in reality I was just embarrassed. And afraid. When you showed up here, with Mary. I thought you were playing a game with me. I see now your love for my daughter is true. Can you accept my apology?"

Robert held out his hand to Matthew.

Matthew met his eyes. He expected to see desperation. The need for Robert to have an ally. A maneuver of some kind. Instead he saw a kind of fearful honesty.

He stood up and took the elder man's hand. Their grip was firm. "I'm glad we can all talk freely. Maybe now we can save Downton."

But as he sat next to Mary again, he realized the irony of that statement. He could help save Downton financially. But would there be any family left to live there with Robert?

Would they forgive?

It was not for him to say. It was not his fight.

Mary was unnaturally still beside him. She had hardly moved since her father spoke.

The silence spoke volumes to Matthew. She was as a spark right before it enflamed.

Then when she did it was explosive. "You think that's enough for us, Papa? To just say some words and we'll all just take your hand and accept your apology?" She spat out in fury. "How can we ever trust you again? You betrayed your marriage. You hid our half-brother for how long without allowing us to know a thing? You crippled your business, potentially turning out good employees onto the streets because of these secrets. They've done nothing wrong. And for what? Your bruised ego?" Her words like ice. She scoffed mercilessly and turned away from him.

Cora interjected in a painful hiss. "Mary!"

Robert acted as if struck. His face flinched but did not deny the truth of anything his daughter spoke.

"Mama how can you just sit there and listen to this?" Sybil added fiercely. "Did you know? Really? What he said?"

"I knew…" Cora took a short quiet breath. "I knew about the affair. I did not know anything else." Her answer ending in a hushed whisper.

She stood up, just to have something to do. Her mother in law remained silent. She didn't need to say anything. Her disappointment in her son was engraved deep in the lines of her face.

Robert put his hand on the mantel of the fireplace. The room spun around him. Like the world he had known, out of control and fast disappearing.

"Does the boy know?" Cora spoke finally direct to Robert. "About his mother?"

Robert nodded. "That was his aunt on the phone. The woman he lives with now. She and her husband want to adopt him."

"Well that gets you off the hook." Sybil's dripping sarcasm couldn't be missed.

"I think it best." Robert said with calmer tone than he felt. "I didn't want to disturb his life any more than I had to. He was so young and then when he got a bit older, and I thought maybe it was time to introduce him to you, Jane fell ill. Then the cancer diagnosis. I got caught up in trying to help out and the bills and health care aides and the travel to Atlanta…." He sighed.

"I want to meet him." Sybil declared. "He's our brother. Your heir, right?"

"Yes…" her father said. "The laws were changed years ago to allow illegitimate children the right to inherit the title. The rest of course is a matter of my will."

"If there's anything left…" Mary muttered caustically.

Sybil interjected "You've kept him away long enough. He needs family now."

"Does he even know about you?" Mary asked, trying to stem Sybil's outraged enthusiasm to defend this heretofore unknown sibling. "Or are you just a family friend of his mother's?"

"Yes. Jane did not want him told immediately but despite being young, he knows who I am. I'm not sure he entirely understands of course. He's only five years old. He's a good boy." Robert added, flailing for anything positive to say.

Edith had moved to sit close to Cora. Sybil took the chair on the other side. Edith saying, "I don't think we should make any hasty decisions right now. None of this is the child's fault. We don't want to upend his life. I agree with Papa."

Sybil snorted derisively. "Agree? I'm not even sure I can be in the same room anymore. He lied to us."

"Sybil stop being so dramatic." Cora's words were sharp enough for her daughter to fall silent. "Robert knows what he has done. But nothing can change it now."

"Mama you can't actually defend him?" She spluttered. "He broke his vows to you."

Cora visibly shook, responding coolly. "I know what he's done. I know he's trying to atone. I won't defend his actions, but I won't have him bullied when he's just come out of the hospital himself. I don't want to bring on another attack. Let me handle this the best way I see fit." She pats Sybil's shoulder. "I know you mean well, my dear but it's not your life."

Sybil sat back against the back of the chair, wiped the tears that streamed down her cheeks.

Cora turned to Edith. "I think I smell something from the kitchen? Is it the turkey?"

"Oh God." Edith stood up quickly. "I forgot all about it." Bertie stayed her hand. "I'll see to it if you want to stay."

"Why don't you all go finish preparing the meal." Cora suggested. "I'm going to go upstairs and lie down. I think your father should do the same. Why don't you lay it all out as a buffet later and we can come and go when we want?"

Robert was humbled by his wife's strength. "Let me help you…"

But Cora did not take her husband's offer. She left the room alone walking by herself.

Robert followed behind, silent and stoop shouldered, his step unsteady.

Violet tried to rise, her cane shaking as she stood. Matthew moved to help her. "Thank you. I will retire to my room as well."

"I'll bring you a tray later?" Mary suggested.

"Yes my dear. I must say I'm quite shaken by these revelations. I will leave all this to you younger folks."

Matthew helped her up the stairs where she said she'd be quite fine and go back downstairs.

He did so, only to find Mary wagging a sharp forefinger at him from their bedroom.

Matthew felt he knew what was to come.

And he was right.

He entered the room. Mary was twisting the key from the gift box in her hand. "What is the meaning of this Matthew? I'm too tired for any evasive answers I might warn you."

Matthew knew the truth of that. "It's the key to the front door of Crawley House."

Mary narrowed her eyes, scrutinizing her husband's shifty look. "Crawley House? In the village? Why?"

He cleared his throat, "I bought it yesterday." He wondered if there was room in Robert's doghouse for himself, adding lamely he knew "I thought it would be a way to surprise you. It's why I was gone so long yesterday. I had to act quickly."

Mary was now completely of the belief all the Crawley men had gone off their collective rockers. "And I'm supposed to be grateful that you buy yourself a Christmas present and make-believe it's for me. You didn't even ask me if I wanted to live there? You can't think I'd just acquiesce because you're so rich you can buy anything you want. First my father hides secrets and now you. How can I ever trust you again?"

She shut the door to the bathroom, leaving Matthew gob smacked and alone in the bedroom. She was right. How in the hell had he ever thought that was a good idea?

XX

 _Thanks Lily for dialogue help! You're the best!_

 _Revelations galore…and they're stumbling about the debris. What did you think?_


	28. Chapter 28: Truthtelling

Picking up right where we left off:

 _He cleared his throat, "I bought it yesterday." He wondered if there was room in Robert's doghouse for himself, adding lamely he knew "I thought it would be a way to surprise you. It's why I was gone so long yesterday. I had to act quickly."_

 _Mary was now completely of the belief all the Crawley men had gone off their collective rockers. "And I'm supposed to be grateful that you buy yourself a Christmas present and make-believe it's for me. You didn't even ask me if I wanted to live there? You can't think I'd just acquiesce because you're so rich you can buy anything you want. First my father hides secrets and now you. How can I ever trust you again?"_

 _She shut the door to the bathroom, leaving Matthew gob smacked and alone in the bedroom. She was right. How in the hell had he ever thought that was a good idea?_

XX

Mary sat on the small bench in front of the bathroom mirror. For something to do she picked up her hairbrush.

Gripped it tight as her thoughts rushed in.

Such a rash thing, accusing Matthew like that. Of course she could trust him. It was just Matthew dismissively assuming she'd follow whatever plan he had for them both. She had already done so much that was out of her comfort zone. They had just spoken about it at the Deanery hotel. He had said he understood.

And now he expected her to up stakes and move to a house he bought without even consulting her.

A house he bought in secret.

It was too much coming on top of her father's secrets. Those he kept from his family. His wife. A child born out of wedlock.

Her mind reeled. How could her father have done such things?

How could she ever trust anyone again?

Or at least any man? Did they all just think they could get whatever they wanted? Henry. With his demands. His preening. As if her leaving him was a strike against his manhood.

And now Matthew.

He put his needs above hers. He knew she wouldn't agree and he did it anyway.

She started to brush her hair with fierce strokes.

Had she made a mistake? Was he just another man wanting to get his way?

She stopped in mid stroke, pushed a few loose strands behind her ear. Looked at her reflection in the mirror.

No. Matthew wasn't like that. He was unlike almost anyone she had ever met. He had such kind eyes.

Loving eyes.

Eyes that did not lie.

When she accused him of betrayal just now, at the door. His eyes looked pained. Wounded.

She never wanted to see that again.

Mary opened the divide between them, a shaft of light from the bathroom light filling the darkened bedroom.

He sat on the bed, his eyes and face downcast. His fingers rubbing his skull.

"Matthew?"

He looked up sharply as he heard the bathroom door creak, Mary emerge. Say his name.

He stood. Started to speak his voice broken, stumbling. "I'm sorry Mary. I thought the gift box was clever. It … was instead really stupid." He put his fingers to his brow, squeezing his forehead.

She walked towards him. Suddenly just so very tired. Needing to rest.

"We'll talk about it later Matthew." She said, approaching him. "But not right now. My mind is a blur with all that has happened"

He was suddenly on alert. "How are you feeling? Do you feel faint again?"

She shook her head. "Just tired. I want to lie down." She lay down on the bed with a relieved sigh. Matthew reached down to the foot of the bed and pulled up the extra blankets to the tops of her shoulders.

Mary reached out a hand to Matthew. "Come. Come lie down with me. I want you here."

"So you've forgiven me?" He spoke in surprised awe.

"Not quite yet…" She raised her eyes to meet his. "I just need some warmth." And she lifted the blanket for him to join her. "Soon enough we'll have one of your good arguments."

"That's more like it." And with a relieved half smile, he gladly joined his wife under the covers of their shared bed.

XX

Matthew gently tucked the duvet around Mary's neck. She snuggled deeper into the covers, murmuring sweetly. He reluctantly left her warmth and eased himself off the mattress.

He could not sleep. He knew what he had done. He was restless.

How to make amends?

Matthew closed the bedroom door behind him and walked down the stairs. He really didn't know where to go in the big house. It felt very lonely this Christmas day.

His footfalls echoed down the steps.

The Christmas tree was lit. The decorations glinted in the sunlight that streamed through the long windows in the front hall. He glanced out the panes of glass. The snow was still falling. It must be several feet deep.

Smells wafted in from the kitchen. A welcoming scent among the empty, vacant space. Light chatter could also now be heard. His new brother and sisters in law were cooking the Christmas dinner.

Matthew hesitated then made his way first to the library to fetch his book. He was going to go back upstairs to read in the window seat until Mary woke. Crossed the salon and stepped into the library. Found the novel on the table near the fireplace. He picked it up and started back.

Edith walked inside at that moment. "Is Mary taking a nap?"

He swiveled on his heels towards her.

"Yes." But his face must have fallen in that Edith asked quickly, "What's the matter?" She started towards him.

He held out a staying hand. "She's fine. I didn't mean to alarm." He furrowed his brow though. "It's just…."

Edith encouraged Matthew to continue. "Just?" She sat down on the divan. "I don't think this family needs any more secrets right now. Is there any way I can help with yours?"

Matthew moved towards her and sat down on the adjacent seat. "I can't say exactly. It's rather private at the moment. But I've think I've made rather a bad muck of things." He scratched his head. "I made a decision without informing Mary first…"

Edith snorted and then quickly put a hand to her mouth. "Sorry." But behind her fingers Matthew could see her suppressing another chortle.

Matthew looked up from under an eyebrow, a knowing smile formed on his lips. "Yes. I'm gathering Mary doesn't take well to that. And then I compounded it by having a rather stupid idea that springing it on her as a surprise would make it easier to digest."

"She took it the wrong way round?" Edith surmised. "She goes into a kind of defensive attack mode. I've been on the receiving end of her caustic tongue more than once. Most times, though, her bark is worse than her bite."

"Hmmm...yes." Matthew said. "I can understand the feeling she was blindsided. It was not my intent to step on her toes." He sighed and got up. "Well… I've done it. And I'm not going to un do it." His voice ticked up at those last words and he continued in a more resolute tone. "I think it's in our best interests in the long run. She'll just have to come around."

"Not with that attitude." Edith couldn't help but point out. "She's very used to getting her way."

His jaw stiffened. "So am I."

She'll think you're bullying her. That makes her all the more contrary. Even if she does agree with you, she won't show it."

His eyes narrowed in thought. "Thank you. I'll take it under advisement."

Edith stood up to return to the kitchen. "You've already changed Mary you know?"

He cocked a dubious eyebrow. "For the better? Or worse?"

"Oh much better…" Edith dryly reassured her new brother in law. "If it had been anyone else just the thought of betrayal, she'd have cut off your balls and thrown you to the wolves."

"That's very reassuring." Matthew rejoined. "But is there anything in between that and abject surrender?"

"One can try. But there be dragons in that unknown country." Edith quipped. "No one has ever tried and survived to tell the tale."

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained eh?" Matthew warmed to the idea. "Just the kind of challenge I like." He clapped his hands in readiness to return upstairs.

"Good luck." Edith walked out with him and turned towards the kitchen stairwell. "I have a feeling you'll need it."

Matthew grimaced and, with only a slight nervous hitch in his step, ascended the steps to the second-floor landing.

He softly opened the door and peeked inside their bedroom. Mary was still asleep. She murmured something he couldn't catch but snuggled deeper under the duvet and fell quiet.

Matthew sat in the window seat and watched her. Despite all that has happened, all the warnings, all the tension to come, Matthew felt a calm descend. This was where he wanted to be.

With her.

Figuring out their life together.

Arguing.

Making love.

Planning for the future.

A future of their own making.

And that was where he made his betrayal of trust. He had left her out of the loop by deciding to purchase Crawley House without getting her consent first. Of course she'd see the sense of it, he had thought. There was no alternative.

How could they possibly make a life for themselves and their children while living under the roof of her parents? It was simply out of the realm of possibility for Matthew. He was glad the two men had come to something of an accord, but that did not mean he'd want to live around the hall corner from him.

He got restless. Wanting to get this argument out of the way so they could move on to working out the details of the move. Matthew opened the book he brought up and tried to concentrate on the mystery's plot but his eyes kept straying to watching Mary.

She was just so very beautiful. A loose strand of hair clinging to her cheek. He moved towards the bed, his finger delicately brushing her skin and curving the filament around her ear. Mary's arm had fallen against her stomach, her hand curled around the form of the babies inside. Protective.

Matthew's breath caught in his throat as he beheld that vision. His mouth trembled as he bit back tears. He knelt down giving her cheek a kiss.

Feeling her warm skin give to his touch.

She stirred. Languorously opened one eye to see her husband smiling down at her, his blue eyes half filled with tears.

"Hello." He said, in that dark, intimate tone meant only for her. "I didn't mean to wake you." But he nestled down beside his wife, curling his body into hers.

She sighed in contentment, but wouldn't be put off the task at hand. "Matthew I'm trying to believe you had the best of intentions but it's really not how I want to start our marriage. With secrets. With you going off on your own to do whatever you like. That's not what I want our relationship to be."

"It's not…" His voice cracking. Fumbling to explain. "I had to act quickly. In order for the Foxes to get the place they wanted, I had to sign the purchase papers on Crawley House yesterday. I got our staff legal team on it and it expedited everything. I made a rather generous offer, considering Crawley House has a considerable number of issues. The owners couldn't afford to upgrade the electrics or change out old appliances but with the purchase money they could buy a new house already refurbished to their needs. It seemed to be a perfect meeting of the minds."

"Yes but that's the point Matthew." Mary struggled to lift herself out from the encumbering blankets. She leaned against the headboard. "You did it. You signed the papers. You never even asked what I wanted."

"I was going to… " He licked his lips nervously.

"When? I don't even know when you first even considered it. I can understand why you wanted to help out this other family find the house they want. But I would hope you would consider consulting me first."

Matthew nodded miserably. "I thought you'd say no." He sheepishly admitted with no hope of forgiveness.

"So you did it without me?" Mary stared hard at him.

His eyes beetled back and forth as his words spilled from his mouth, "So it would seem. I … kept putting it off. Trying to find a way to talk to you about it. I saw the house when I took a walk in the village after you returned home from hospital. I went into an estate agent's office to make some initial inquiries. But I didn't do much about it because we had so much else going on. I had to go back to London to catch up on work. You were on bedrest. Then the holidays. I thought nothing would happen until first of the year at the earliest but then I received a call on Christmas Eve that the Fox family had found the home of their dreams and the owners were eager to get the papers signed before the new year and because I own a real estate firm I could make it happen."

His words came fast and furious. As if once he started he couldn't stop for fear she would shut him down. "I know it looks bad. I know it looks like I didn't care about what you wanted. But it's not true. I …" He closed his eyes, his mouth dry. "I do care. I care a great deal."

He turned a set of doleful eyes towards his wife. "Please believe me." His words getting hoarse, despairing.

"Oh Matthew…" Mary clasped his face. "How you are going to try me. How can I possibly be angry at you when you look like that? But I am angry." She steadied her own nerve. "We are married. These decisions must be made by the both of us. Otherwise we won't have any chance at trusting each other."

He nodded ferociously. "I know. I know."

"But now it's like I have no say at all. You found the house. Bought it with your own money. Signed your name to it." This time Mary's words were curt. "That's not exactly going to make me love this house, is it?"

"But you will consider it?" Matthew ventured. "It's beautifully situated."

Mary pushed her hand against her brow. "You are really set against living here full time? The stables can't be moved."

"I know they can't." Matthew replied. "But we can. Downton is a lovely house. But it's not mine. It's not ours. I want a home of our own. Where we can raise our children and have our arguments outside the earshot of your father and mother. You'll see. The house is within walking distance to the back gate of Downton. I took the walk around the churchyard myself. If we put a garage out back and buy some kind of four-wheel drive vehicle you can easily get back and forth."

"You've thought of all the answers." Mary huffed. But she had to admit he had a point. "What kind of vehicle? Another purchase without me?" She gave a narrow side eyed look.

"Well uh…" Matthew stumbled. He had actually perused some options regarding a Porsche SUV but didn't cop to it. "We can decide together what's best suited for your needs."

He sat back against the headboard next to her.

"And you said you were going to have to hire more staff anyway. For when the twins come." He reminded her. "And didn't Jerry suggest some kind of in house camera set up so you could monitor the horses from whatever device you wanted. Your laptop or mobile…"

Mary sighed in resignation. "I see why you studied law. You are quite a relentlessly informed advocate of your cause."

Matthew gave her a coy smile. Was he forgiven?

He soon had his answer.

"But you are not off the hook completely." Mary cautioned. "I will see what I think of this house. I won't object if it's as you say. But I do insist that from now on we do things together. We are creating a family Matthew. And that is daunting enough. You going off on your own doing what you want seems like putting yourself before us. Before your family. That's very selfish."

He was about to object, but decided discretion was the better part of valour. "I can see your point. I went about it all very badly." He agreed instead. "But even so, I know once you see the house you'll love it. It does need work. So we won't be moving in any time. It will give you time to make it your own. Redecorate as you see fit." Rather hoping that would cautiously win her over, he left it there.

Mary said nothing, but he did witness the merest hint of a smile dash across her lips and she nodded contemplatively. But then glanced over at the clock on the mantel. "Look at the time! I told Jerry I'd skype to make sure everything is in order. And walk over to the stables."

"In this snow?" Matthew queried fearfully. "You can't."

"Yes I can. I must. I told him I would when I insisted he take the day off. You know that the horses must be attended day and night." Mary grunted and started to make a move off the bed.

She hated to admit it, but she was quite unsteady on her feet. Suddenly Matthew reached out and clutched Mary around her waist before she collapsed back on the bed.

He said forthrightly, "And I know you need to rest some more. I will see to the horses. I know you don't like asking for help. But that's also what I'm here for."

"How will you know what to do?" Mary replied testily. "It's nonsense." She was so frustrated by how this pregnancy affected her. "I hate being this out of control over my body."

"You will tell me what to do. I'll walk across to the stables with my mobile. Once I'm there either you or Jerry when you get him on video chat can tell me what each horse requires. I'll take Sybil with me. Together we can handle it." He gently kissed Mary's forehead and pushed her back onto the bed. "Please rest my darling. I know it's hell."

She heaved a restless sigh. "I can't take much more of this bedrest. At the very least in the new year I want a more regular exercise regime. Even if it's just walking and light yoga. I can't stand being cooped up." She pulled up the covers. "But for now…" She patted the side of the bed where she wanted Matthew to sit beside her. "I'll accept your help. Thank you for doing this for me."

"We're a team." He kissed her full on the mouth.

"Goodie. Then after you're done with the horses, you can bring me up a tray of that delicious Christmas meal I smell wafting in from the kitchen. I do need to keep up my strength."

"I'll bring one up for myself as well." Matthew replied almost too quickly.

"That isn't to get out of having to see my father would it?" Mary tried to tease. But that brought up again the other painful subject. "Has he been seen at all downstairs?"

"No." Matthew shook his head. "Nor your mother. We're all keeping clear for the time being. I think she'll need some time to think."

"A half-brother…" Mary murmured. "And to think we had no idea. That's why you had to be so secretive isn't it? Because Papa told you in confidence."

"He was trying to explain the misappropriated funds. I told him then he should tell the family. He didn't want to hear it and threw me out of the house." Matthew disclosed.

"And that's when you found me outside. Waiting by your car." Mary remembered that evening well. "You drove off without a word. I thought that was the end of us."

Matthew directed his gaze lovingly at his wife. "And instead it was just the beginning. I knew then I couldn't live without you. I wanted to tell you…"

"I understand why you didn't." Mary reached out and pulled him in for another kiss. "I was wrong to say that about you being selfish. You were thinking of the family when you kept Papa's secrets. You were thinking of my mother and my sisters. He waited too long to tell us. But now it's all in the open, I hope we can somehow find a way if not to entirely forgive, but to at least move on. Get to know …" Mary blinked as she tried to remember the child's name. "…Peter." But she gave another heavy sigh. "I have no idea what Mama will do."

She shivered suddenly frightened by the prospect of her parents divorcing.

Matthew gathered her in his arms. "We can't predict what will happen. Cora is strong. She'll find a way through."

Mary buried her head in her husband's warmth. "I hope so…"

XX

 _Ok Ok...I know she might have let him off the hook more easily than perhaps she should. But it's Christmas lol... and he did have good intentions. Reviews are great!_

 _I didn't want to go more than two weeks without updating… I had a great deal of grading to do and uh… I've gotten (erm..) rather distracted by Dan's new TV show Legion on FX lol… but I'm getting back in the swing of this story! Lots more to come. Cora's decisions. Meeting Peter. Mary coping with the birth of multiples… and moving!_


	29. Chapter 29: Moving On

Matthew slowed down and let go of the rowing machine's handles. He had adjusted the flywheel's resistance to give him the best workout for cardio and strength training. His breathing was only a little laboured. But his back twinged like mad. And his hands hurt. The spasm was sharp when he put his legs down on either side of the machine.

What caused it? Matthew rubbed the spot awkwardly with his right hand. And then he remembered, an amused smile traced on his lips.

The mucking out of the stables with Sybil. They had done all the stalls both Christmas day and the day after. As well as New Year's Eve and New Year's Day as Mary had also given the small staff the days off. Mary had joined them in the livery yard eventually, not doing the actual work but catching up on paperwork and calling each of the owners of the horses boarded to ensure them of the good health of their animals.

The snow had let up during the week between but it was still difficult to get around, the drifts piled high in and out of Downton. Edith and Bertie returned to Northumberland to their home. Isobel had decided to call her own visit a miss and remained in Manchester. Matthew had been more than a little relieved. His mother would have entered a hostile atmosphere. The days since Robert and his confessions had been disturbingly quiet. Cora kept to her rooms. Robert looked like a ghost.

They all walked on eggshells when either entered the dining room for a meal. Always at different times. No looks. No glances. They ate and left.

Matthew had been restless with inaction so gladly took to the physical work in the horse stables. Something he thought he'd never say, but it was true. The first time was awful. The reek of the horse manure. Sybil's mockery of his sensitivity. He had wrinkled his nose in disgust as he made a few hesitant scrapes to rake the straw away from the side of the stall. "Not like that" Sybil had sniffed while grabbing another rake and making swift work of the pile. She turned and grinned playfully, "City boy. You have pretty eyes and pretty hair Jon Snow. You know nothing."

Matthew laughed and got the hint. He made swift work of the next stall. They had worked in quiet concentration. Moving the horses from the mucky stall to a clean one and then returning the beast to be bedded and fed according to Mary's instructions. She watched from the video chat on Matthew's iPad with a critical eye as he measured the mix of oats and barley pellets that Jerry kept in a mix in a barrel for easy scooping. And replaced the bales of hay in each stall.

"That's good Matthew. That's enough." She said, as he moved the iPad to the final stall. Jellybean snorted in a friendly manner as Matthew approached. He clicked his tongue slowly and said, "Good boy." The horse nickered in response to Matthew's hand patting and rubbing his mane.

"He likes you." Mary smiled as she watched her husband with her favorite new mount.

"Of course he does." Matthew reached for his bridle to move the horse out of the stall. "We get along just fine."

Sybil looked askance over at Matthew from across the adjacent stall where Mr. Bean was housed. "He'll do."

Matthew grunted in mock gratitude of Sybil's grudging compliment. And got back to work.

It was hard. Smelly. Rewarding in the way his arms ached and the sweat poured off his forehead. But it was also something he really didn't want to do every day.

Mary lived for this. She reveled in the details of taking care of each animal. He saw it in the way she looked critically at his every movement, questioning whether he had properly replaced the tack in the correct location. In the way her eyes scrutinized each horse as the camera moved over each animal's body. She missed nothing.

He really just wanted a hot shower and some dinner.

But it made him feel that much closer to Mary.

And that was good.

He understood her passion that much better. This was who she was. A horsewoman. He'd never quite have identified had he not done this.

Even if it was only a little. He understood.

He'd never take it away from her. He had looked around with more than a little pride in how he helped create this business. So many of his deals were on paper. Or in starkly decorated boardrooms about properties he cared nothing about. This was real. It breathed.

Something to be proud of, Matthew thought as he continued to row. The rest of the time at Downton was not much of an idyll, he thought with all the tense atmosphere surrounding Robert and Cora.

Mary had rewarded him.

Surprised him really. After he returned to Downton after that first time mucking out the stable. She had met him back in their bedroom, her finger pointing towards the en suite bath when he walked inside. He was exhausted and sore.

Matthew thought she wanted him out of her sight as he looked a right mess with his shirt stained and jeans soiled. His feet bare as he took off the Wellington boots downstairs and threw the socks inside. His cheeks grubby and his hair disheveled. He thought he stunk enough to raise the dead.

All he had wanted was to take a hot shower and clean up.

"I won't be long…" He started to say.

And then he saw she intended to help him shower.

Mary stepped inside the door frame of the bathroom. She motioned for him to take off his shirt with her long arms extended over her head, her tongue licking the top of her mouth slowly as his gaze took in her hungry look.

He did so in one swift motion. Mary arched an expressive eyebrow in absorbed appreciation as his lean and ripped chest was revealed. Her throat produced a guttural moan when the jeans were next.

"I'll meet you inside." Mary spoke the words a she wriggled out of the bottoms of her yoga pants, leaving her dressed only in the clingy tank top. Matthew watched as she slowly leaned down to slip each of the leggings off her feet, giving him a view of her rear that made his breath grow ragged and hard.

He came up behind her and slipped his hands inside her top and pulled it off over her head. She leaned into his body, felt his arousal between her thighs. His arms came around and cupped each of her breasts with his hands. He kissed her neckline, feeling her high cheekbones against his own. Wisps of his hair tickled her skin.

A slow smile crossing Mary's lips.

And then he remembered…

"I reek something awful." He apologized and pushed himself aside to avoid touching her again.

Mary laughed and moved to turn on the hot water tap in the shower. "I'm used to it." Her low, tempting voice explained, drawing him to her again. They moved under the taps and kissed, her lips groping for his as the heat rose in plumes of steam around them. "Come here."

He willingly gave in. Their bodies became one. Her arms drew around his, gathering the soap in her hand and slowly ran the bar down the length of his arm, creating suds and cleansing away the grime and the dirt. Matthew felt her touch, soft and sensitive all over his body.

Mary would not let him participate. He was to all hers to command.

"Pull up your arms." She whispered huskily in his ear, pulling on the lobe with her teeth making him groan into her mouth as he roughly pulled her over for a kiss.

But he did as she wanted. The lather gathered in her hands and she caressed his chest, his lower torso, the v-shaped groin and lowered her mouth completely down onto his hard arousal. The sweet torment of her tongue flicking the tip making him wild with desire.

She slipped her mouth off and looked up. Matthew's head was bent back, face enflamed. His eyes closed. When she stopped he let out a renting gasp at being bereft of her fiery touch. His mind, his body never needed anything more than for her to continue. He opened his eyes, unfocused at first. His pupils dilated from arousal. Then as his senses returned, he looked down.

She openly gazed back at him, a hungry blazing look of desire on her face. She was enjoying taking him to brink of sexual frenzy and then depriving him of it.

"Fiend." His hoarse voice hissed, "How long do you intend to torture me?"

Mary's lips curled provocatively upward on one side. She flicked her tongue around her lips, then opened her mouth, pouted and kissed right where he was most sensitive.

He shuddered and emitted a guttural moan, just as her actions demanded.

She then placed her mouth back onto his engorged member. Coiling her tongue around the tip, and just brushing it. Glancing strokes designed to stoke his need. Matthew felt weak at the knees which was of course her intent. She plunged down and down until he felt the squeeze of her throat taking complete control of his hard length. His eyes closed and then opened again as he watched her.

She was wiggling her ass in the air now in concentrated effort. The steam making a halo around her naked form. It was so exquisite. So erotically charged and yet beautiful. The curve of her backside. The nodules of her spine spiking against the alabaster glisten of her skin. Matthew's last coherent thought before he succumbed to the bliss was that he needed to commit it to memory. The artist aching to draw and capture the moment of perfection before it was gone forever.

But then it was forgotten for the moment, forgotten in a blaze of hot desire that spread throughout his body. Mary seizing his buttocks with her long fingers and squeezing each cheek. Her grip on his body committed to making him explode inside her mouth. Wet slick strokes of her tongue making him spasm and buck towards her. His hands reached down, without thinking he ran his fingers into her hair and pushed her madly closer to him.

He then felt the world dissolve around him as her lips tightened their hold and she drove his arousal down her throat before letting go just to do it again, making him blind with lust.

Het let out a burst of increasingly loud staccato grunts.

He was beyond any reclamation. The peak coming in waves of ecstasy. She tortured him by placing and releasing pressure with each stroke of her lips.

And then he slumped against the wall of the shower. A spent force.

Her victory complete, Mary smiled enigmatically and slowly drew her finger down his muscular chest as he came to rest next to her.

After a moment's rest, she drew herself up to rise. Matthew had enough sense left to help his pregnant wife up to her feet. He then supported her as she moved her face under the shower to cleanse.

He shifted to join her under the hot water. The lather clung to Mary's skin. Matthew slipped his down each arm, the curvature of her waist. He leaned down and kissed her stomach.

Where their children grew within. He trembled at this gift.

Mary took him by the hand and gently lifted him back up beside her.

"You are so glorious, my love." He kissed the nape of her neck. She felt his sweet lips press down on her flesh, slip and slide down her wet skin. She gasped and cried out.

"I need you.." She spoke harshly, her demand clear.

They came back together as one. He slipped inside her, already aroused again by the touch of her breasts against his chest. She seized his buttocks and drew him towards her. She bucked and swayed in high frenzy, pushing him further and further towards her own peak. She felt it culminate as waves of crashing burning ecstasy. She gasped and clawed at his skin.

Matthew held her tight as she writhed blissfully against him. A last shattering pant and she was complete.

He held her tight, and then released his grip slightly. She shivered momentarily and he returned his arms to their tender embrace.

They had danced the slow dance of love making until both felt utterly satiated. Complete.

XX

Matthew had left shortly after New Year's Day with his in-laws still not speaking. Mary had told him it was fine to get back to his work after they had met with Dr. Walsh on the Tuesday after New Year's and she was given a complete exam and was declared in full good health. A new light exercise regime was also given to Mary under strict orders to keep away from all heavy labour in the stables.

Then the sonogram. Dr. Walsh could not say for certain that both twins were boys after close scrutiny, but she believed it be so.

Matthew had squinted at the screen. "Ah yes…" He muttered as he pointed and grinned madly back at Mary. She lifted her head to get a better look. The image was a puzzle at first. Like a Rorschach test except this moved. And then one by one the images focused. Legs. A little arm. Some fingers. A head. No two heads. Eyes close together. One baby appeared slightly larger. Dr. Walsh said that was nothing to be worried about as that was common.

They had left in a glow of wonder at the life before them.

Mary returned to work in the office at Downton Stables, promising to get right on to hiring a new full time stable hand.

He grunted and began to row again. He had returned to London and his small flat to concentrate on a series of meetings with clients in the next fortnight. He had consolidated all of them to be accomplished in one fell swoop. So then he could get back to Downton and stay for an extended period of time. Mary had agreed to walk through Crawley House with him as soon as the family that currently resided vacated at the end of the month. To see what renovations needed to be done.

Matthew was pleased with that outcome. She could have been much harsher with him and the way he had stumbled in the property acquisition. The quarrel bitter. The accusations of betrayal of trust meant to hurt. But instead the argument was reasoned. He felt they had come to understand each other that much better. They were both stubborn and desirous of getting their way. But if this fragile new marriage was to have any long term success, they both had to concede and compromise. She could have made it final that they stayed at Downton Abbey. And he knew he would have acquiesced if just to please her.

But she did not. And so now, now they had a real opportunity to put down their own roots as a new Crawley family took up residence at an old estate home.

Matthew also held daily meetings with Tom and Mika and catch up on projects. They told him the Burleigh property deal was in the last stages of negotiation but that he was needed to finalize the sale. Mika reminded him about the trip to Berlin in February with their team members from Swire Inc to look over the office complex acquisition. In addition two more investors required Matthew's consulting skills.

It was more than enough to keep him occupied.

Matthew showered, changed clothes, and walked back to his office. His P.A. informed him in the hallway he had a visitor. Lord Grantham was already seated inside.

Matthew, surprised that his father-in-law was here simply nodded. Robert had returned to work of course in January. Back to the reality that his business, his marriage, his honour were all in tatters.

He took a deep breath and gripped the door handle to his office.

"Robert." He said with as much an attempt at pleasantry he could muster as he walked in. Robert was so mercurial. Matthew could never really sense his mood.

The older man stood by the window. "Lovely view of the Mall from this location."

"It is." Matthew agreed. "I chose this particular office because of it despite the fact it was a bit smaller than a corner one."

"You've done quite well for yourself." Robert turned around. "Self-made man, eh?"

"I don't know about that." Matthew demurred. "We all have to play the game at one point or another to get ahead. I know how to compromise or make something work to my advantage as well as the next." He knew the rumours that swirled about his first marriage. He had worked three times as hard to prove the nepotism wrong and then quit to create his own reputation. And then worked even harder. And destroyed that marriage before it even had a chance.

He was done with that now. He wasn't sure where the next challenge lay, but for now he was content keeping his business afloat and his partners happy with their joint successes.

Robert had a long road ahead of him by turn.

"I can help you Robert." He offered out his hand. "If you'll let me."

Robert accepted the hand shake. Firm grip.

"Thank you."

Matthew gestured to the seat near his desk. "I know how things stand for you…." He stammered a bit. "I mean in your business dealings. We can go over the details later. But for now I think you have a single big decision to make. One that will make or break your financial recovery."

Robert, with a heavy sigh took the proffered seat. "I won't fight you anymore on this Matthew. I believe you have the best interests of the family at heart. What do you think I need to do."

Matthew had never heard Robert without any of the fight, the bluster he usually brought to meetings or dinner conversations.

The hollowed out tones of a defeated man.

Matthew took a deep breath. "As I see it, you have two choices. Sell Downton to keep your business afloat …" He furtively glanced at Robert to gauge his reaction.

Robert didn't even flinch. Matthew suspected he already knew the alternative.

"Or sell Grantham Inc. to pay off your losses and the debts incurred due to .. erm… extraneous circumstances" What the hell else could you diplomatically call Robert's affair and love child? "And retire."

Robert made a move to protest, but Matthew kept talking. "Your health scare certainly plays a factor in this decision I should think. You don't need the stress of this job. I know it takes a toll."

"But what about my employees? I can't just see them let go if whoever buys Grantham chooses to downsize them. They're my responsibility. It's why I've been trying to juggle all this for so long…"

He left off with another world-weary sigh.

"I've considered that as well." Matthew started back diplomatically. "I went over several options but I think the wisest solution would be to offer Swire Inc the opportunity to purchase Grantham."

"Swire?" Robert furrowed his brow. "Why them? We've never been on the best of terms with them. Besides we're small pickings in comparison."

"I have an in with Swire." Matthew replied tactfully.

"You do?" Robert looked over at Matthew behind his desk. The younger man's hands were steepled in front of him as he leaned forward. "Oh that's right. … Your marriage. But isn't that all over now? Given the circumstances of your divorce?"

Matthew tapped his fingers in contemplation as he spoke. "It was an unusual state of affairs at Swire. My divorce from Lavinia still left me as CEO per Reggie Swire's will. I spent a great deal of time earlier last year finding a replacement for me. As far as I know it's all worked out to their satisfaction."

"You were CEO?" Robert was flabbergasted. "And you gave it up? For what?"

Matthew looked his father in law straight in the eye. "For Mary."

Robert gave a slow nod. He had no idea Matthew had given up such a plum opportunity for the love of his daughter.

Matthew went on to explain. "I couldn't stay in a job that was given to me under false pretenses. Reggie was rewarding my fidelity when indeed I had already betrayed that trust." Matthew replied with brutal honesty. "I was in love with Mary from the first moment I saw her. My marriage would not survive. But Reggie died before knowing any of that. I turned my shares in Swire over to Lavinia. She then sold them to the new CEO that I helped choose as my one act of leadership. I think I can work out an arrangement where Grantham can be brought into the Swire fold without losing any of your employees. If they want to go elsewhere of course they can. But we can work out a settlement where they could find equal positions with the new firm."

The older man sat silent.

"You don't have to make an immediate decision." Matthew said. "But it will have to be soon."

"My ancestors built Downton to last. I know every pillar, every stone of it. I want it to stand. To be passed down to future generations." Robert gave a short gasp. "The title will go to Peter. I've made a damned mess of it all but it is his. I want to leave a legacy for him as well. Money as you well know has not been my friend. The house must stay in the family. Mary is the obvious choice to control Downton. Her business must take priority."

Matthew breathed a silent relief. That was exactly the answer he wanted from Robert.

"So you will take up my offer to sell to Swire?" He confirmed.

Robert stood up. "Yes. I need to take back control over my life. I've let things slip. I want…" But he kept those private thoughts regarding his relationship with Cora to himself. "I want time to work things out." He said instead.

Matthew read between the lines of what Robert said.

The two men shook hands. Matthew saying, "I'll get to work on it all immediately. And Robert…"

Robert stopped at the office door.

"I wish you luck. I want the Crawley family to stand as well." Matthew said.

Robert gave Matthew a weary look. "You're a good man Matthew. I was wrong to doubt that." He took his leave.

Matthew sat back down, relieved that at long last the air had cleared between the two of them.

There was so much now to look forward to.

XX  
 _I hope you liked this chapter. Thank you for all your kind words as reviewers. It is always much appreciated._


	30. Chapter 30: The Past Resurrected

Matthew looked around the crowded Assembly room. The awards ceremony had just ended and the after party had begun. Mary's old coach for Team Britain was retiring and all his students gathered to pay him tribute at this sports night dinner. Other awards that night were for various athletic achievements in football, rugby, and other Olympic level sports.

Matthew had lost track of Mary since she was up on stage with her former teammates. She left with them to do some interviews and photographs. She had worn a designer gown meant to flatter her growing belly with ruched sides and crisscross straps at the V neckline. It still showed off her long legs as it was hemmed at her knees. She conceded to wearing a low-heeled shoe as her center of gravity was a bit wobbly at times as she was carrying the twin boys quite low in the abdomen. Matthew told her she looked gorgeous when she modeled it for him the night before in his London flat. They had driven down from Downton for the occasion but were planning to return within a day or two.

Mary had been more than pleased to find the gown. She had fretted about appearing in public not looking her best.

"Not just your best." Matthew had reassured, "Fabulous. I might have to put this one in the book tonight."

Mary gave him a soft smile. Matthew's sketching project of the stages of her pregnancy had been another way to bind them as a couple. His eyes drew her in, steadfast and warm. They would meet as he moved up and down between herself and the sketchpad. Even when he was concentrating hard, demanding she remain still as a statue, she felt joined to the activity. Never in her wildest dreams would she have thought she could have found such profound happiness in something not actually of her own creation. Except she was. Not muse or model, but a part of him. As he was a part of her. And the twins within a part of them.

A warm tingling glow flooded her body at such moments. A feeling of such abandoned love it scared her. She trusted Matthew implicitly. Even when she was angry that trust, that love never wavered. He would always be there for her.

How did she know this? When they knew each other less than a year. How did she know? When he went and bought a house without even consulting her. He was richer than she'd ever be. But he never offered to buy Downton to save her father's disgrace. Shouldn't that tell her something? That he put himself above her family?

She should be righteously angry. Instead she compromised. Was pregnancy making her soft? She grunted in repugnance at that outdated notion.

No that was not it. She was still opinionated. Headstrong. Stubborn. She demanded he explain himself in the house purchase. And he did. That was it. His honesty. She never imagined that honesty would be a turn on. But it was. She wanted him all the more after that argument. Had waited impatiently for him to return, all sweaty and smelly from the stables. His offer to help out with the horses only making him that much more irresistible.

She virtually pounced on him when they entered the shower. The love making that ensued was intense. Mind blowing. They were two bodies moving as one.

She was not wrong to love him so much.

Matthew did not put himself above her family. He would help them find their way out of their current mess as best he could. As he told her later that same night, "giving Robert the power to decide his own future was the best way forward. Otherwise he'll still feel aggrieved and weak which was the cause of his ruin in the first place."

Mary had agreed but still wanted to know "why haven't you revisited the offer to just buy Downton." Matthew had tensed slightly, his jaw set. "I don't want to cause offense in your family," he started diplomatically, "but I didn't get where I am by making bad money choices." Despite Mary's eyes narrowing, he continued evenly, "these houses are nothing more than prestige properties with endless upkeep and no profitability margin at all."

"Then why keep it?" Mary pointed out a bit sarcastically. "You are going to recommend Papa keep Downton and sell Grantham right? Why not the other way round if Downton is such a bottomless pit of death."

Matthew guffawed a bit embarrassed. "I might have put it badly, but the importance lies not in its value as property, but in its value to the family. It's important to Robert. To you. Your business. This is what makes Downton worth saving. I want to help and I think the best solution is to sell Grantham to do that. Concentrate all investments here. In Downton Stables. In making the farms profitable. In the use of the house as a venue …"

And here Mary looked at him askance. "Papa has always hated that."

"But it's the future. You have to make these houses earn their keep." Matthew concluded. "It's really the only way it will work. Besides it will give your father a new purpose which I think he needs right now."

Mary had seen the truth of that. And when Robert had come back from that meeting with Matthew a fortnight later, she had supported the idea of selling Grantham as soon as possible.

She had been surprised at Matthew's suggestion of a buyer though. Swire? She thought she was done hearing that name. And now he was being dragged back in. To his other life.

What would that mean for them?

Was she being silly for even thinking it would? She had finished dressing for the Sports Personality of the Year awards banquet, putting on the earrings he had purchased in Las Vegas as a wedding present. She had not mentioned her qualms.

There was nothing to worry about. He sat watching her with quiet regard having finished dressing in his dark blue suit and silk tie. When she was done they left for the banquet.

After the ceremony was done, Mary exited with the rest of her team mates to conduct some interviews. Matthew had stayed at their table, chatting amiably with a cricketeer from the England and Wales Cricket Board.

She turned a corner trying to get back out to the floor of the Assembly room hall when she saw Henry. It had been a distinct possibility running into her former boyfriend at this awards banquet. He and Mary did mix in the same sports circles. Groaning inwardly she tried to dodge him, but other people blocked her path and she was stuck.

She had a clutch bag in one hand which she gripped tightly as she turned back. And had a moment of triumph as she realized she clearly caught him off guard as she approached.

"Henry." She said with complete composure. "Are you presenting tonight?"

He did a double take as he took in her hair and dress. His jaw dropped appreciatively. Mary had fixed her hair in a coiffure with a few loose curly strands around her ears. The black material of her dress stretched in all the right places. Many that night didn't even take in she was pregnant much to Mary's surprise. She thought it must be the dimness of the lights in the hall giving them a false impression.

But then Henry answered. "In about fifteen minutes." He ran his eyes up and down her body. "You could wait for me to grab a bite. Like old times."

"I hardly think so…" Mary's sarcasm was unmistakable. "Even when we did attend these functions, you usually ended up drunk with your Rugby hooligan friends and I had to drive you all home."

What had she seen in this preening waste of time?

But clearly Henry seemed to know nothing about her current life which both pleased and disquieted her. What had he concocted in his little mind about her life now?

Henry gave a short guffaw. "Oh you know you enjoyed it. I've been thinking about you these past few months." He slicked his hand back across his hairline. "Have you come to your senses now? About that married piss ant you hooked up with for a time? He's gone I'll bet. Damp squids always do once they've gotten what they wanted."

"What they wanted?" Mary's voice dripped with disdain.

"Not that I'm blaming you of course. But you really should have known those types are never going to leave their wives. They just move on to another easier target and leave you sadder but hopefully a bit wiser." He gave her a pitying look. "Tell me I'm wrong."

Mary blinked hard at such blinding arrogance. Such conceit. Her response was both immediate and caustically belittling. "Why? You're mansplained my situation so well I hardly need say anything. How could I have believed I could ever live without you?"

She said with an ice queen smile and a look that killed. "But you're wrong about one thing…" She paused almost for effect.

"What's that?" His voice turning even more insulting if possible.

But Mary was deliciously spared any explanation by the man himself approaching, fortunately completely oblivious to the insulting conversation Mary had to endure. Henry had tucked them into a corner so he was hidden from view.

"Mary darling… " Matthew said, approaching her with another man in tow. "This is Jerome Cauldwell. His daughter is a rider and is looking for a new coach." His smile was infectious. He took Mary's hand.

Henry stepped around the corner, curious to see who spoke to Mary in such intimate terms.

"Jerome." Matthew turned to the older man. "This is my wife, Lady Mary Crawley." He twisted his head back towards Mary only to see Henry's beet red face before him.

"Henry…" If Matthew was taken aback, he refused to show it. His grip on Mary's hand got tighter though. To think she had to endure this encounter without him made him that much more protective.

"You…You…" Henry spluttered. "You're married?!" He spun on Mary, his eyes now blazing mad in embarrassment. "Why didn't you say?"

She allowed him one arched eyebrow. And then deliberately put her left hand across her abdomen so that the bump showed.

Henry's eyes threatened to practically bug out of their sockets.

"What? And spoil your moment of hollow triumph? Never." Mary gave a short laugh and then a dismissive pout with her mouth, "but now I really do have to move on. Can't spare another moment to revisit the past. I have far too much in my future to look forward to…"

And she twisted her body away from Henry and towards her husband and placed her arm within his. Matthew, standing in awed respect for his wife's cool composure, took her cue and continued his train of thought without saying anything further to Henry who stood gawped mouth and about to retreat with his tail between his legs.

"Mary is a brilliant trainer and coach, Jerome." Matthew declared passionately, "I'm sure Ella will thrive under her tutelage."

They walked with Cauldwell towards the main Assembly room, neither Mary nor Matthew giving any backward glance.

XX

"That was most enjoyable." Mary admitted later when they had returned to Matthew's flat. She was seated on the bed, slipping off her shoes.

Matthew's mouth curved up in a wicked smile. "You're…you're married…" He gave a spot-on imitation of Henry's incredulously sniffy aggrieved tone. "I mean really," Matthew continued with scorn, "It was all I could do not to whisper in his ear 'yes you fucking moron. You lost. Now get out of our sight.'"

"I don't know what I ever saw in him." Mary shook her head.

"All in the past my darling." Matthew kissed her with passion.

Mary nodded reflectively. "But we can't escape the past can we?"

"Darling?" Matthew asked, his eyes narrowing in concern.

"Your plan to help Papa." Mary said. "It will draw you back into Swire Inc. I've never asked but have you been in contact with Lavinia?"

She tried to sound like she didn't care. But irrationally, a part of her did.

Matthew paused before answering. His past was different than hers. He had been married. Taken vows. Pledged loyalty and fidelity. He and Lavinia had a life together. Good times if he was honest. But it was the past.

"I have." He finally acknowledged. Matthew sat down on the bed beside his wife. "Mostly because of the divorce settlement. I sold the house and had to meet with her lawyers to arrange for the check to be passed over to her. We've spoken a few times when the time difference between here and Australia permits."

He took Mary's hand. "She asked how I was faring and I told her. I told her I was married to you and we were expecting twin sons in the summer."

Mary eyed him. "And her reaction?"

"She didn't let on to me if she was upset." He shrugged. "She seems happy in Perth. Busy with her new teaching responsibilities."

"And you?" Mary asked, her head angling towards him. "No ghosts I should worry about?"

"None at all." He reassured in that resonant, dark tone he kept strictly for Mary. "I hope you know that."

Mary smiled. "I do." She shook her head ruefully, "Just ugly shadows this evening have soured my mood."

Matthew reached over and gave her a deep, passionate kiss. "I have a way to change that…" and he reached for the zipper of her dress as his lips grazed her naked shoulder blades.

"Please do…" and she arched her back, gasping as his hands slipped inside to caress and stroke each of her breasts in turn.

XX

Matthew took the proffered whisky. He was alone with Robert, late night at Downton a few weeks following the awards dinner. Mary had gone upstairs to bed, tired after a long day interviewing for the new trainer who would take up her slack when the twins arrived.

Cora had left for America. Matthew had been informed about it after a long telephone conversation with Mary ended a fortnight before. She had to think. Think of her future. Cora had left, Mary told Matthew. To her family in Connecticut to consider what she should do.

And Robert was alone at Downton with only Mary for company most evenings. Matthew was overseeing the renovations at Crawley House and traveling back and forth between York and London. He was also finding new office space in Ripon for his consulting branch of CB Properties.

Mary was concerned about her father. He was despondent. Could Matthew do something?

So here he was. Trying to think of way to help.

"Thank you, Robert." He sat back and took a sip. Nothing conversational was coming though. So he fell back on the reliable topic of business. "We're to begin negotiations with Chapman next week. You'll be able to make the time?"

Stupid question, Matthew thought. Robert seemed to be doing nothing at the moment but moping.

"Yes. I want to get this over and done." Robert answered, taking the seat opposite with a heavy sigh. "I've no wish to continue. I don't know where my place is anymore in this world."

"Good. Good…" Matthew nodded, then fell into silence again. Took another swig of his whisky.

The night deepened.

Finally Robert spoke. "How do you come back from the mistakes one makes? How do you atone to the ones you love?"

Matthew's eyes shifted rapidly back and forth. Was he supposed to answer that? Did he atone properly to Lavinia?

"You divorced your wife before?" Robert inquired. He noticed Matthew shifting uncomfortably in his chair. "I don't mean to pry, but you are the only one who I can speak to of all this."

Matthew thrummed the cushion of the seat rail nervously. "Right. Ummm… I confessed my love for Mary to …" His mouth was dry, but he continued "to Lavinia. We began divorce proceedings immediately thereafter."

Robert gave a heavy sigh. "That's the difference."

"What is?" Matthew had an inkling where his father in law's thoughts were headed but he wanted to hear it from him.

"You fell in love."

"Yes." Matthew affirmed. "It became impossible to deny. And I didn't want to hurt my wife any more than I had to. It wasn't easy, but we've all gotten through it."

"I wasn't you see." Robert confessed. "I imagined myself in love with Jane and she with me. But it was all just my vanity. Cora and I were in a doldrum, I sought comfort elsewhere. Jane ..." Robert shook his head. "She had just been divorced and was in a low point as well. Just lasted a few weeks. I didn't even know she was pregnant until after Peter's birth. By that time Cora and I had reconciled. I thought she suspected something, but she never said."

Matthew sunk low in the seat, wishing he was anywhere else. Dredging up his own miserable state upon owning up to his own indiscretions. But at least he knew, however fatuous or self-congratulatory it sounded, he knew he had been honest with himself, with Lavinia, and with Mary.

Robert had not. Not even with himself.

"I had no intention of leaving Cora. I... didn't think at all." Robert took a swallow of the water. No alcohol on his restricted diet.

"I don't know what to do." Robert concluded. "Cora's left for an extended stay in the states with her mother. She won't speak to me except for necessity."

"When do you expect her back?" Matthew was stalling for time.

"She's not said. Certainly before Mary's due date. That she would never miss." Robert put the glass down and began to pace around the room.

"No. Mary said much the same." Matthew concurred.

The two men sat again in silence.

Matthew knew Robert needed something to do. To feel useful again. "You never took me on that tour of Downton. The snow back in December prevented it. Why don't we do it tomorrow? I really would like to know how the farm works and see the rest of the estate. You can fill me in on the details of what renovations have been complete and which still need to be done. Then once the sale of the business is finalized, you can begin making those decisions."

Robert's doleful eyes lit up just a bit at that suggestion. "I'd like that."

Matthew smiled briefly, encouraged that he could also feel useful to the family.

"I don't know that I deserve your friendship Matthew." Robert said, walking over to his son in law. "After the things I said to you. But I'm grateful for any help you can give me."

He sat down opposite. "Ever since telling everyone at Christmas I've felt an odd sense of relief. That even in spite of the pain, the distress I've cause. At least it's now behind me. I want my marriage to survive. I want our family to survive. I'm made a wreck of things." His voice was getting hoarse from the emotional turmoil welling inside. "Thank you for listening."

Matthew nodded in understanding.

Later, after bidding Robert good night he went upstairs to find Mary fast asleep, the covers tucked under her chin.

He slipped off his clothes and got in beside her. As soon as she felt his presence, still half asleep, Mary inched her way over to his body. They curled together, his arm draped across her abdomen.

He felt her warmth. Her love. He closed he eyes, and fell asleep as well.

XX

 _Reviews and observations are lovely. Crawley House awaits in the next chapter!_


	31. Chapter 31: Everything You Need

"I know love," Matthew said, leaning over to kiss Mary's soft cheek. "But this is the last of the meetings in Berlin. After this project is done, I'm no longer going to be head of any future foreign transactions. I'm turning it over to Mika. And we can get a lot more accomplished remotely once the new computer interfaces are set up. I can be here and she can be in London or wherever and we can still work out any negotiations."

Mary's head leaned against the sofa back. Her legs outstretched on Matthew's lap. The nightly foot massages had become part of their new routine. A way to unwind and catch up. She usually loved it. A way to relax. Reconnect. But tonight she felt extra tense.

He switched to Mary's left foot.

The recent events on London's Westminster bridge had unnerved her. Matthew worked and lived close to the Houses of Parliament. Now he was traveling to Europe where there had been other scares in Paris and Nice.

They both knew there was nothing that could be done.

Life was uncertain anywhere.

But Mary worried nonetheless.

Matthew was so very precious to her now.

Matthew's kind eyes met Mary's. "Herr Müller is very old fashioned. He wants to meet with me alone and in person. We're closing on the property next week. I'll be back by Thursday."

She nodded, throwing off her gloom. "Abe starts tomorrow. Jerry is doubtful about his potential. But while he's young, I think he'll catch on to our routine."

"What else is on the agenda?" Matthew asked, trying to be subtle as he slowly began stroking her calves. His fingers stretching and inching up towards her inner thigh. "The builders coming to Crawley House to finally get the kitchen backsplash tiles installed?"

"Martin said they'd be done by the week end. I hope so as I've got Edith and Sybil insisting they get the tour." She shimmied down the sofa as his hands reached her rear, the stretchy material of the leggings making his tour of her curves and assets all that more welcoming.

"You're not staying at the House are you?" Matthew looked up from his tender ministrations. "It's not safe. There's debris everywhere. I told them to get rid of it but you might as well be talking some form of alien speech."

"I won't be staying." She reassured her mother hen husband. "It's not as bad as it was last time you were there, though. They've got all the wall down that blocked the view of the garden from the library and the lorry came and took all the masonry away."

"Good." Matthew returned to attention to Mary's body. He lifted himself up so that he could put his ear next to her growing belly. "Are they kicking or napping?"

The fetal movements began weeks ago as the twins fought for the confined space. Mary had felt them early in the morning. Around 2am the first punch from her belly woke her up.

She had gasped, at first in concern, and then astonishment.

Matthew grumbled beside her. He had arrived late from London and they had gone straight to bed. She was exhausted from the long day at the Stables office. Then a doctor's visit to make sure everything was good.

Mary wondered if she should wake her slumbering husband.

The kicks were like something out of a MMA fight that Sybil had her watch one time because she had the hots for Conor McGregor. The twins made their demands for attention known.

"Matthew." She had whispered.

Still he slept.

"Matthew!" A sibilant hiss.

Nothing.

Mary rolled her eyes and felt for his hand. She grasped it and placed fingers and palm of his hand right where the twin on the left was trying to win an Olympic medal in gymnastics.

Her eyes flicked between her belly and his eyes to see what his reaction would be and was rewarded when she felt the pressure of his fingers on her abdomen. Squeezing gently as he felt the kick.

Then his eyes flew open.

Blinked rapidly as what was happening flooded into his brain.

"Darling." He whispered. "It's happening."

Mary's overjoyed grin was infectious. "I know!"

He sat up on his elbow, never letting his other hand go of the wonderful miracle happening beneath Mary's soft skin. He rubbed gently.

Mary's hand came to rest upon his own.

Matthew's lips grazed her knuckles. "Darling. Darling, it's wonderful."

And they had spent the next hour giggling and trying to anticipate where the next kick or elbow jab would come.

Mary had gone to her OB and was told to monitor the number of kicks in the morning and evening. If she didn't feel anything for more than two hours, to call immediately.

That had alarmed her until Dr. Walsh reassured that her twins were healthy and no complications were expected.

So this had been going on for several weeks. Matthew, however, remained in utter astonishment every time it happened. And in absolute awe of Mary's resilience. She had kept up her exercise regime and diet studiously. Her weight gain was within her doctor's parameters. Her blood sugar under control. Her strength of will to maintain a perfect pregnancy while continuing to work and monitor the renovations at Crawley House made him love her and admire her until he thought his own heart would burst.

He had, without telling Mary, already informed Tom that he'd be handing over the reins of CB Properties to Branson and Jones earlier than expected. He could not in good conscience continue to work in London and travel while Mary did so much. Instead he'd take the extended leave of absence immediately after the trip to Berlin, using the time before Mary's due date to help her out while setting up his own consulting branch of CB in Ripon.

So now, on the eve of that last trip, Matthew felt both at ease and under strain to just get it all over with. He wanted to stay on this sofa forever.

Mary answered his query about the twins' movements. "Napping. They were giving me right good karate chops and jabs earlier though. It was as if they were fighting already."

Matthew made soothing sounds with his mouth as he lifted Mary's tee shirt and kissed the rounded form that held the twins beneath. "Don't disturb your mummy little chaps. She's protecting you and loves you very very much."

His kisses reached her breasts. His fingers massaging one as his lips grazed the other.

Mary's mouth twitched in delight. "I know your agenda." She said, catching her breath at his touch.

"Too right…" Matthew's silky, dark tones insinuated itself into her skin, making her shiver in anticipation. He pulled down her leggings and pushed her down on the sofa and unzipped his jeans.

She moaned deliciously as Matthew gently entered her and brought her to exquisite climax.

They had been warned about the potential for pre-term labor if their previous vigorous sex life had continued into the third trimester. But having been told that, Dr. Walsh then admitted other couples managed, despite the growing discomfort and logistics of positioning.

And so far they were managing quite nicely.

XX

"It's really taking shape." Edith admired the new tile work in the kitchen. "I love the colours."

Mary pleased as well took a look around. The kitchen had turned out exactly as she wanted. It had taken the most time at Crawley House, the rest being mostly a matter of paint and new furnishings. Once the wall had been taken down giving Matthew the view he wanted from the new library, the builders went to work on the kitchen.

Their first tour of the house had sent Mary into a kind of despair. Matthew had tried to minimize the amount of renovation that needed to be done, saying some new paint, new furnishing. He had scratched his head and gave his best boyish smile.

"I know you'll learn to love it."

And then they went into the kitchen where Mary's eyes almost bulged out of their sockets.

It had been a garish shade of green that Mary said "almost made me nauseous. And as I'm proud of the fact I hardly had any morning sickness that cannot be allowed to happen now."

Her distaste grew with every minute. The cabinets were large and ugly. The windows small. The "whatever that is" on the floor had to go immediately. She waved a dismissive hand.

Matthew looked down at the odd assortment of tiles and linoleum. The kitchen definitely had a mish mash '70s/'80s feel. At some point in its history a previous owner had tried to update the house to disastrous effect.

Mary groaned inwardly as she took in the window treatments. "Rather like bulbous plague victims wouldn't you say?" Spoken so dryly Matthew at first did not catch her sarcasm.

She gave him a wicked side eye.

Then he burst into laughter. "We'll change all of it my dear. I promise."

And so they did.

Matthew had gotten right to work finding contractors and builders, using as many locals as possible as well as sustainable products and eco-friendly materials. Mary had hired a design consultant who agreed with her idea to reconstruct the home as much as possible as it was in 1905 with a modern flair and sensibility. The kitchen would be airy and bright with new windows and overhead lights. A new Aga stove but stone flooring and appliances that did not clash but harmonized with the rest of the décor.

So having her sisters in for dinner just when the last finishing touches had been complete just that afternoon pleased Mary.

"I see Old Towne Antiques delivered it." Edith ran her hand along the beautiful cherry wood table top. "It fits just perfect in the space."

Mary's satisfied smile met her sister's. "Yes. Keela and I measured at the shop but I was still doubtful until it was delivered yesterday. The chairs will easily fit even with the two high chairs we found. We won't need them for a while but at least I know they'll fit quite nicely."

"We we we?" Sybil asked with a teasing tone. "I can't get my head around how much you two are connected. Can you not even make a choice about a high chair without Matthew's input? Time was you would make your own decisions."

Mary whipped her head around ready to bite her sister's head off with an acidic retort only to see her sister laughing and pointing at getting Mary's goat.

"Touché" Mary replied, recovering with aplomb. "I probably deserve that reminder. I do actually still find it unsettling how much we think alike. I find myself deliberately getting cross with him because of it."

"That sounds just like you." Edith interjected. "But I think it's right to find someone with whom you can have a meeting of the mind."

"But not to point where you bend to their will." Mary responded pulling out one of the chairs and sitting down.

"If they're right, why not?" Edith pointed out. "It's not weak to agree."

"That sounds just like you." Mary said coolly. "Men like it when women bill and coo and tell them how right they are. I'd never do that."

"Oh Mary you are impossible." Edith exclaimed in exasperation. "Do you really think Matthew would act like that?"

Mary thought about that. Time was, she realized, the two sisters would end such a discussion with Edith making a face and Mary stalking off triumphant.

Instead she deliberated Edith's question. Did she think that was the proper way to conduct a relationship? To be right was more important? How would that work over the course of a relationship? She had never really considered it as she had never thought of any other relationship in such long terms. But she was in this with Matthew.

Bonded. Loved. Until they both walked their last steps on this earth.

She had changed. She didn't like to admit it. To change for a man? Weakness she'd have scoffed. But no, it was more subtle, more important than that. She had become part of a team. A marriage. And she could no longer just think for herself. She had to take his thoughts, his ideas into consideration. It was not going to be an easy transition, she knew herself too well.

Plenty of good arguments, as they had joked. But instead of being angry or put out by it, Mary found herself looking forward it all. She wanted to be in this.

"No." She finally answered her sister. "you're right. I know Matthew wouldn't do that." She gave Edith a knowing look, not completely unwilling to give up all control. "Not that I'm likely to let him know that I know."

Sybil guffawed. "He's so in love with you I doubt he'd care. Those heart eyes give him away every time. I think he'd forgive you anything."

Mary doubted that. "Well I don't intend to test him."

And her undertone was caught by her siblings. Unlike someone else in their family who tested a marriage to a potential breaking point.

That sobering awareness made all the sisters fall silent.

Mary got up to put the kettle on. She had found some herbal tea to her liking and felt like a cup. The electrics had been reconnected that very morning.

The house was really taking shape. Matthew was due back from Berlin in two days and while she was to go to London to meet him at the station and have dinner with Isobel, they'd be able to finally set a move in date. Which she knew would please him no end. Living at Downton was proving a strain on Matthew and Robert. Not the old arguments, but with Cora away the younger couple felt an odd obligation to entertain Robert. Even as they had their own views on his actions, neither wanted to deliberately provoke him. But Matthew was running out of conversational topics. And Mary grew tired of Robert asking after Cora. Her mother had been evasive with all members of the family, emailing occasionally to inquire as to the twin's health and her pregnancy but never giving out any information on her return.

So after two and half months of this, Mary was just as eager now to move into their own home as Matthew.

Mary turned to her sisters. "Have either you heard from Mama?"

Both shook their heads negatively.

Edith asked, "You?"

Mary shrugged. "Not much. A few emails. She has never acted like this before when she went to Connecticut."

"She never had reason to be out of touch." Sybil pointed out. "She'd skype with Papa and make fun of him being unable to direct the camera towards his face. Now …."

She couldn't bring herself to say it.

"Now that she's left him…there's nothing left to say." Edith finished.

"Is that what we believe?" Mary unconsciously put her hand on her belly. To what she believed in.

"What else are we to think?" Sybil got up to pour herself a cup of tea. Not the herbal Mary chose but a strong black tea.

"I want to think she's just taking some time to work out her emotions. That they can overcome it."

"Do you think that's possible? I mean he cheated on her. What would you do?" Sybil pondered, looking at Mary. "Could you forgive? I couldn't."

That gave Mary pause. "It's not that cut and dried. You think you have one answer and then circumstances change."

"You're saying that because of Matthew." Sybil pointed out. "You don't want to accuse him of the same thing. Do you think his first wife will ever forgive?"

Mary sat back down again. "Perhaps. But he wasn't looking for her to forgive. Just accept. We want Mama to forgive and remain married. And that must be her decision alone."

"And then there's Peter." Edith reminded them. "Papa kept that a secret as well. From Mama. From all of us."

Mary's distant look was caught by Edith. "What? Did you know about him?"

Mary blinked and took a sip of tea. "No. I didn't know about Peter. But I did have a conversation last summer with Mama that I now see in a different light. She was warning me about getting involved with a married man. She said men can sometimes lose their way in a long marriage. I thought she was just telling me to be careful. But I now believe she knew more about Papa's affair than she let on. She knew about it. Forgave it. But is now struggling to live with not only the fact he never outright confessed about it but deliberately kept an illegitimate child hidden from her. From the family. That is something else entirely."

"It's like he's cheated on her all over again." Sybil muttered. "how many times is she supposed to forgive?"

"Can we?" Edith tentatively asked. "At some point we're all going to have to meet our half-brother aren't we?"

"Not until Mama and Papa settle things between them. He'd only be brought into the lion's den if we invited him now. I want to get to know him. To love him. But only if his new parents agree and everything is settled." Mary vocalized her thoughts.

"That makes sense." Sybil agreed reluctantly. "I admit to some curiosity about him. I used to dream about having someone younger than me in the family. A brother too."

"We'll welcome him no matter what. He's been through so much with his mother. It's best to let things lie for now." Edith finished their thoughts.

They all let it go for the moment.

"Shall I go ahead and order the take away? Pizza or Indian?" Mary held out her mobile. "The Aga hasn't been hooked up yet. The electrician's coming tomorrow to finish."

"Pizza." Sybil said. "Then I want to see the rest of this house. What else is on the first floor?"

"Go out into the hallway and turn left you'll see the day nursery and Matthew's office. I warned him having both so close to each other might not give him a moment's peace but he's too much in euphoria about the twins to listen. When they start bawling in unison he might change his mind."

"Oh Mary I love this wall painting. It's like they're in a garden." Sybil said, walking into the nursery where the two cotss were put in an L shape along both walls. The opposite burst with colors from wildflowers that started on the baseboards and grew up to the ceiling and across to the center of the room.

"It was my idea to extend the outside garden inside to this room." Mary explained. "I just couldn't' come up with a theme that wasn't just the same old same old toys or steam engines or teddy bears. The artist is a local girl. She's only 17 but look at it. I just love coming in here and seeing something new all the time. I told her as I'd be spending hours in this room feeding and changing I'd go mad if I didn't have something to look at. And this is what she came up with." The twining, twisting patterns of colours and types of flowers complemented the muted shades of the carpet and furnishings. "Isobel already bought me a couple different pumps for when I can't feed both boys when they want it. I have to say they're intimidating but everyone at the ante natal class says I'll get used to it."

"Not much longer." Edith said as she walked around the room. "And we'll be here to help. At least some of the time. I'd love to babysit." She took a rattle out of a wicker basket and shook it.

"I'll take you up on it then." Mary jumped on the offer. "Probably sooner than later. I want to get back to riding full time as soon as it's possible."

"What does Matthew have to say about that?" Edith riposted, going back to their earlier debate.

"He'll take the lead from me." Mary returned confidently. "He knows what I want."

"Especially if you have a full-time nanny to help out." Sybil couldn't resist adding. "you are going to do that right?"

"I…" Mary hesitated. "Matthew is irrationally opposed to such an idea." She left it there with her sisters but privately Mary knew that Matthew thought as he took a leave of absence and with the help of family, they could handle it all. He wanted to do it without having some outsider take care of his…of their children he had corrected. Mary knew, however that he'd come around.

"He'll see sense." She put a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "And then I'll handle it as well. It's simply a matter of timing."

Said with typical Mary certainty that neither sister vocally disagreed. But they did exchange an amused glance. Having the twins as living, breathing human beings would bring Matthew to his senses most probably, but it would also put Mary off her stride no matter how much bravado and confidence she exuded now.

And both sisters looked forward to that if they were to be completely honest. But they also knew they'd be there to help her when she was desperately up to her elbows in nappies and spit up.

XX

Mary was tucked up in bed at Downton. She was to leave in the morning for London and was preparing an email to Jerry about Mr. Banks' vet visit when her mobile went off.

She glanced down not expecting a call. Matthew had already messaged to say he was tied up in last minute negotiations and would see her in the next day.

Unsure at first at the international exchange, she realized it was her mother.

Mary grabbed the smartphone from the coverlet and answered.

"Mama." She tried not to sound anxious.

"Hello my dear." Her mother's flat American tone greeted her. It seemed to be accentuated with her stay in Connecticut.

"I'm so glad you called." Mary said.

"I didn't mean to leave it so long. It just got away from me. My mother's had some health issues and I've been in and out of the hospital with her. It was just as well I came home when I did for I'm not sure she'd have had her heart looked at. Turns out she'll need a stent to clear this blockage. So I won't be home for another week or so."

"So you are coming back?" Mary couldn't stifle her relief.

"I wouldn't miss the birth of my grandsons for anything. How was your last check up? I know you said in your email that it was yesterday."

"We're entering the last stretch. Dr. Walsh is threatening bed rest again if I don't put my feet up more and relax. But all was fine. Their heartbeats are strong and their kicking like they want out now. For sure they're running out of room as it feels like a full rugby team against my stomach." Mary laughed as once again she felt the waves of rolling pressure in her abdomen. "George is certainly in charge. His kicks might be the death of me."

"So you've decided to go with George and Jeremy?" Cora asked. "I do like those."

"Yes. Matthew caved after I nixed his jokey attempt at naming. Sebastian and Benedict indeed? What are we having I asked. Babies or marvel comic book superheroes? I told him to get off the telly when he's trying to be serious."

The two women laughed.

"I'm going to stay with the Russells in Ripon when I come home." Cora informed her daughter. She wanted no expectation of some reunion at Downton.

"Oh…" Mary's long sigh was answer enough.

"I want to be there for you and Matthew. I want your father there too. We are family. I'm not just ready yet to say what the future holds."

Mary could feel the pain in her mother's voice. "I see." She wondered if she should suggest something. Counseling?

"After the birth and you're settled I think Robert and I should take some time away together. Sort things between us. I can't do that at home. There's too many memories there for me to think rationally. He knows what he's done. I don't want to dredge it all up. But I can't go on without an understanding."

Mary took hope at her mother's desire to at least begin the process of healing. "That sounds like the right thing to do."

"How is he?" And again Mary heard the crack in her voice. The pain. The hurt. The love.

"He's despondent." Mary admitted truthfully. "Driving Matthew and I a bit mad with his meandering conversations. But he's in good health. Recovering well his doctor says. I know he'll take heart at your return."

"We'll see what the future holds. I'm taking all this one day at a time." Cora did not want Mary to wish for something that wasn't in her power to give right now.

The two women rang off wishing each other a good night.

Mary slept well despite the growing discomfort of never finding a position in which both she and the twins were able to agree upon.

In the morning she'd see Matthew and by the following week her mother would be home.

It was enough.

XX

I _hope this enough for all you wonderful readers of this story. I know I took some time off… erm… ::Legion:: and ::Beauty and the Beast:: kinda got in the way of writing lol. As well as some travel and family and work stuff. But I think I'm back in the stride of this story. Matthew's return, dinner with Isobel, and an awkward family reunion is up next! Love all your wonderful reviews. They make my day sweeter!_


	32. Chapter 32: Reality Forces Its Way In

Mary pulled up to the lot beside the restaurant. Matthew's text said traffic on the M1 would delay him and to go ahead and meet his mother at La Maison in Ripon and he'd be there as soon as the snarl loosened. She sat against the seatback with a long exhale. Matthew had arrived back from Berlin that morning, a couple days later than expected. He dropped that information about being delayed in Germany late in their talk, but paired it with the news that once this was accomplished, he would be on the extended leave of absence and at her complete disposal. His voice into that chocolate rich register Mary adored when he spoke.

How could she complain after that?

So instead she let it go and told him she had news of her own. She informed him during a call that Dr. Walsh advised against any long trips either by train or car. She wanted Mary in the last trimester to be resting as much as possible and to consider possibility of a planned C-section the closer they came to the 38 week mark. Mary told her she wanted a natural birth arguing that the twins were healthy, not too big, and with no other complications. Dr. Walsh had countered that could change. They might be in transverse position or a prolapsed cord after the delivery of one twin and that with any complication recovery would be just about the same amount of time.

Mary had clicked off the conversation, she told Matthew, considerably frustrated with the doctor's insistence she knew best. But she had then asked that he meet her in Yorkshire instead of London.

She stepped out of the BMW X3 SUV Matthew had purchased the month before. Both found it roomy and suitable for the purpose of carrying the twins and all the assorted paraphernalia they discovered came along with having multiple infants. Matthew had already installed the two rear facing child seats in the back once purchased from the baby supply store. He had been so proud that he managed all on his own to get both placed snugly in the back seat.

Mary glanced at them. A shiver of nervous energy shot through her body. She seldom gave into the fears that accompanied any woman pregnant with new life. A life…two lives… she held in her body. Would she be a good mother?

She'd find out soon enough.

The babies were quiet right now. But had been squirming for space most of the afternoon. Mary glanced towards the entrance to the restaurant to see if Isobel had arrived. Matthew's mother had still not exactly warmed to Mary but they maintained a friendly accord if nothing less.

Mary hoped for more eventually. Matthew clearly loved his mother dearly and wanted her to embrace this new life he had forged. But Isobel was a cautious woman. Mary felt as if she was being, if not tested exactly, watched closely for signs that her affection was false somehow. Had led Matthew on. Was not truly in love. That he had given up a good marriage for a fling and then found himself trapped as his new girlfriend had become pregnant.

Mary knew how it looked. How it could look. She was a gold digger who's own family fortune was on the wane so she was seeking greener pastures. It wasn't true. Isobel knew that. But Mary always thought there was still a part of her new mother in law that looked for it anyway.

When would that go away? That suspicious frisson?

Mary could only be herself she decided. Isobel would either come around or she wouldn't. She'd be true to herself and to her love of Matthew and their so obviously growing family.

It would have to be enough.

She waved as she saw Isobel on the pavement across the street.

Matthew still had not arrived.

XX

When Matthew finally pulled into a space Mary had already texted they were inside. He was glad Mary had taken Dr. Walsh's advice to not travel as much and readily agreed to change the dinner plans.

Her frustration with the birth procedure options was obvious.

But he felt it was largely not his place to weigh in heavily on one side or the other. He was Mary's sounding board. He was sure that was the role he was to play right now.

That and equipment manager of baby gear.

The success of the baby seats had gone to his head Mary had joked. After he had accomplished that feat Matthew had given her a sly grin and a wink. "Next the upstairs cots." The large boxes had arrived and were still sitting in the hallway waiting to be put together in the double suite at the end of the upstairs landing. She had been asking when they were to be moved ever since.

"You can have help?" She reminded him. "That what for hirers are for."

"Absolutely not." He replied with a mock grimace. "I'm more than capable of figuring it out." They kissed. "Besides," Matthew added. "I've asked Tom to come up one week end to help. Between the two of us I think we can get it done."

So now here he was finally back from Berlin. The last big account settled, he was ready to take his leave of absence. Other than finding office space and working out the logistics of interfacing with clients and the main operatives in London, Matthew would spend all his time making Mary's life easier in this last, most difficult trimester.

The move to Crawley House would take place within the week. Matthew had lived there on and off throughout the renovations. Mary had her sisters in for various meals and tours. But this would be different.

It would now be their home. He was very happy Mary had come around to the idea of Crawley House. That was despite the knowing it was partly because of the depressing atmosphere at Downton, her father so down in the dumps and nothing they did seem to help.

Of course Robert deserved Cora's abrupt departure to think things out. She had every right to divorce him if that was her choice.

Matthew kept his views to himself though. Believing he did not have the right to openly judge others lest he be judged as well. Or have any confidence that Cora would forgive Robert and give him another chance.

He never believed he deserved Lavinia's acceptance of his actions.

Or her forgiveness.

Slowly he had learned to live it.

Lavinia had accepted his honesty. Had appreciated his candor and knew he never meant to hurt her and was doing the only thing he could possibly do to make amends. To give her back her autonomy.

But was that what Cora wanted? Freedom from Robert and his adulterous affair?

Or did she want to work things out?

Mary herself was still unsure having told him only that her mother was returning home for the birth but was staying with personal friends rather than interact daily with Robert.

They would have offered Cora to stay with them at Crawley House except that the guest bedroom was still a storage area for twin gear and would remain so for the near future.

Matthew sighed and got out of the car. Family crises dominated conversations at the moment and every so often Matthew had to pause and realize just how very very good things were between himself and Mary.

They had each other.

Their love.

Their boys.

He could hardly wait to begin creating memories with them.

XX

"Mary found this incredible young artist." Matthew talked after he swallowed a bite of the salmon steak. "She's created all these incredible animal tracks inspired patterns all over the walls of the boy's upstairs bedroom. Otters, foxes, deer…badgers." His voice became increasingly animated as he explained to his mother. "She wove them around and around and the intricate design is so exceptional. You can just stare at it for hours."

Isobel nodded appreciatively and looked at Mary. "A very good thing when you're going to be sitting in that rocking chair for hours feeding the little ones. I can't wait to see it."

Mary gave a knowing grin. "Matthew's done some work as well." She took his hand and clasped it. "He drew these marvelous sketches of the animals giving them a cartoon quality but also capturing their true nature. I put them in frames around the room while he was in Berlin." She gave a loving side eye to her husband. "Something new to show you."

Matthew blushed slightly at her praise. "I'm glad you like them."

Isobel took in the newly married couple. Matthew's shy glance at his wife. Mary's finger grazing her husband's knuckles as she held his hand. A slow smile crossing her lips.

And then the moment was broken by Matthew's iPhone.

"Damn…" Matthew was annoyed. "I forgot to turn it off." He let go of Mary's fingers to slip it in his jacket pocket to retrieve the device. Glancing at the identity, he scowled and turned to Mary. "I…" He heaved a sigh…just when he said he'd do no more work. He whispered, "Michael Morton."

And Mary withdrew her hand as Matthew got up to take the call away at the bar.

He had told her he expected Morton to call, hoping it would be tomorrow. But the American never realized the time differences and would call whenever he had something to tell Matthew. And this time it was important. Morton was lining up clients for Matthew's new consulting extension of CB Properties and if he could land just two or three of them, he'd not have to work at finding new business for quite some time. He could just concentrate on the investments of these chosen few and if satisfied with Matthew's talents, they'd all reap the benefits.

Mary turned back to Isobel. "He told me he was expecting this call."

His mother took a sip of her wine and observed, "Matthew's forever saying he will quit work. And then something else arises to change his mind. I do hope this time he means it."

"I'm sure he does. He's very involved in getting everything ready for the twins." Mary was quick to Matthew's defense in front of his mother.

Isobel snorted and raised her eyebrows. "Oh Mary. You don't have to play the wifely martyr in front of me. I can clearly see you're peeved as well."

Mary, quite unused to such candor, was speechless for once. Should she agree? Isobel was quite the enigma still to Mary.

"Go on and say it…" Isobel encouraged with a laugh. "It will do you good. You don't need heartburn from keeping it in at this late stage of your pregnancy."

Mary opened her mouth, but still hesitated. Glanced over at the bar to where Matthew was deep in conversation with his American, one finger in his left ear so he could hear over the din. It was true, she admitted to herself, whenever Morton barked Matthew jumped. It was he that demanded so much time away from Lavinia, she recalled Matthew telling her. Promising he'd never do that again.

She gave a wry look to Isobel and admitted, "He's a good client, of course. But it does seem as though Mr. Morton has a sixth sense for whenever Matthew's guard is down and then he pounces just to make sure Matthew remembers to feed the beast."

Isobel observed coolly, "It's time Matthew realizes his life doesn't depend anymore on the Mr. Morton's of the world. He's made it. He should start to enjoy it. Lavinia was never able to do that for him. I hope you will be. She learned to accept her lot. And that was her mistake."

Mary was completely taken aback by Isobel's blunt talk. "I don't intend to accept anything." She retorted quickly, taking a sip of her water.

Isobel nodded briskly. "I didn't think so." The older woman gazed steadily at Mary. "I think you're going to be very good for him. I wasn't sure when he first told me about this madness he seemed to have for you. I thought it was a mistake. But then as he spoke about you I could see a change come over him. A gentleness. And then he showed me those pictures of your wedding. There was one of the two of you dancing…"

Mary's mouth softened in to a smile. "Yes I know the one." Her lip quivered.

"I saw a look of such love, such devotion in his face." Isobel said. "In all honesty, I had never seen it before. You put that there. I'm grateful. I don't think I ever realized Matthew was capable of that depth of emotional attachment. He's committed to you, I know that now. To you and the two young boys who will soon enrich your life. Please encourage him to enjoy it." Her face pinched in concern. "For him. And for you."

Mary's lip trembled even more. "I will." She grasped her mother in law's outstretched hand. "Thank you." She hardly knew what to say. Tears started to form on her cheeks. "It must be all these hormones…"

She brushed them away.

"Of course that's it…" Isobel replied evenly, but continued to hold onto Mary's hand.

XX

"What are you two conspiring about?" Matthew teased as he returned to the table a few minutes later. Isobel and Mary had their heads close together and it disconcerted him for an instant so he tried to throw off his concern with an amused grin.

"Never you mind." His mother briskly put him off. "Are you finally returned to us?"

Matthew knew full well that tone of rebuke. "Yes." He sat down, surreptitiously slipping his hand into his pocket to turn off his mobile.

Mary changed the subject. "I meant to tell you Bob the builder says the materials will arrive next week for the studio."

The nickname had stuck ever since first meeting Bob McGowan, their main contractor for Crawley House renovations.

Matthew was pleased to hear that. "Good. Good. I talked with the architect and agreed the space near that shade tree would suit the purpose best. That way it won't block the view nor crowd our neighbor's drive."

Isobel asked. "Studio?"

Matthew gave a laugh. "Garage really. For Mary's SUV and all her assorted work kit."

"So it won't clutter his space." Mary said, giving a spot-on imitation of Matthew's exasperated look whenever she threw her dirty boots or gloves around.

A hint of a smile on his lips, Matthew responded equably, "You have to agree it will be easier for you to keep track of your tack if it is all in one place."

"Of course." Mary said. "Though how you're going to deal with all the baby things I'll never know. You might just go mad. We'll be stumbling around it all for years to come you know."

Matthew's eyebrows furrowed, his eyes darting back and forth. His mouth actually pursed in mild disapproval.

The two women at the table laughed at his discomfit.

"You'll have to adapt." Isobel warned, her tone joking. "Because they certainly won't listen to you."

Matthew couldn't help but laugh as well. "I look forward to it all immensely."

XX

"That was a lot of fun." Matthew said, carefully placing his brogues beside the chair in their bedroom at Downton.

"I think it will all right now between myself and Isobel." Mary told him. "We had a good talk while you took that call."

Matthew's eyes peered up between some loose locks of curls fallen over his forehead. "I'm so glad."

Mary grunted involuntarily as she sat down on the bed. "Come here." She demanded, twisting a finger towards Matthew.

He got up and walked over.

"Bend down."

He did so.

She affixed the curls back over his head. "There…" She said, more sensuously this time. Kissing his forehead before he lifted it to meet her lips.

"Thank you…" His mouth lingering, pulling her lower lip. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." Mary admitted. "More than I'm willing to say."

His blue eyes widened in concern.

"I'm fine. I don't mean anything is wrong." She hastened to chase away his worry. "Just weary. Part of me wants it all over with. The birth. The beginning of our new routine feeding and caring for the boys. Part of me wants them to stay in the womb, though. Safe. And give me more time to get ready."

"We've got everything almost in order." Matthew tried to reassure. "I know we can't do everything…"

"It's not that." Mary leaned against the pillows. Matthew scooted around to take his place beside his wife. "It's so much more."

They cradled in each other's arm a long while.

Matthew said softly, "I love not having anything to do but be here with you."

"That's not strictly true though, is it?" Mary observed. "About that phone call earlier…"

Matthew inhaled a breath. "I know it was inappropriate. I told Michael I'd talk to him later."

"Does he ever listen?" Mary snapped.

Matthew startled next to her. "I'm sorry." His arms tightened around Mary. "It's just as you know if I can wangle two or three big clients the new venture will be on solid ground."

She decided to get out her concerns. "I know all of that is important to you. You want to still want to contribute to your company. To feel a part of their continued success. I know that drive and I admire it. But it can also never end. It can…"

"I won't let it interfere." He cut in. Matthew's voice tight. "I'm not very good at saying no. I know that about me. But I made a promise to you in Las Vegas. A promise that I would be here for you. I made myself a promise that I would move heaven and earth to be with you. That I would change my priorities to what they should be. I intend to keep those promises. I need you to believe that I want nothing more than to be right here. Right now."

"So what does that mean exactly?" Mary wanted to know. "I don't want you to give up everything of course. But I feel our life will become one large balancing act of priorities."

"It probably will." He acceded.

"I fool myself into thinking I'm ready for it all." Mary turned to face Matthew. "It's like mind over matter. If I believe I can do this, I can. But…" She leaned her head on his shoulder. "I must admit to being very scared most days. Two little lives in my hands…"

"You'll be a wonderful mother." Matthew said softly.

"How do you know?" Mary's voice quivering a bit.

"Because you're a wonderful woman. You have the strength of a lion. Anything you put your mind to you seem to accomplish. I'm amazed by you every day."

Mary sighed deeply. "I hope you're right." They snuggled again.

"Let's make a pact right now." Matthew said solemnly.

"To do what?" Mary was intrigued.

"Once we're in our own home, I want to do exactly what I want. Which is nothing at all. I will never turn on my phone. Never open my lap top. I want to take long walks. Picnic in the sunshine. Be together. Savour every moment before our lives change. Our marriage got off the mark so quickly, we're already having a family. I want to get to know you. Every inch, every part of you. Before we're swamped in nappies and spit up."

Mary loved it. "Sounds ideal. But I do have to check in every day with Jerry about the horses. Abe has turned out to be a great help. Just as we hoped. And Claire has agreed to come on full time as office manager. But I still want to monitor things."

He chuckled deeply. "Now who's all about work?"

"You know my work is different from yours…" She started to defend herself.

"I know." He grinned mischievously. "I'm just having you on. We'll check in every day. Walk over every morning or so. What do you say?"

"I must say it's tempting." Mary pulled him in for a long kiss. "I say we do it…"

Her hand moved towards his pants, unzipping slowly. Mary's fingers tortuously made their way towards his groin. His arousal growing by the second, his skin afire from her touch.

He swallowed thickly as she pushed in deeper and began to massage in long, tight strokes.

"Good…" His lips encircled Mary's, his tongue darting and flicking inside her mouth. "And I have a great idea on how will we spend the afternoons." Matthew's last words before all was lost.

XX

 _So that chapter took some turns I wasn't expecting. Next one will get back to family crisis management with Robert and Cora's first encounter after her return from the US._


	33. Chapter 33: It's Never Easy, But We Try

XX

"Mr. Crawley…" Millie called out with a merry laugh. "I can hear you again." The young artist Mary had hired was working on a design for the boy's playroom separated from their bedroom by a half wall.

"Sorry…" Came the half-muttered reply from the next room. Matthew had promised not to be so explicit in his verbal barrage of swear words against the stupidity of the directions attempting to guide him into putting together the pieces of the two cots that were, as of this moment, still spread around the room.

He was failing miserably in that promise.

The first problem arose when Tom and Matthew tried to get the bulky boxes up narrow stairs of the old house.

"Seize it!" Tom yelled out as Matthew's hand slipped on the bottom of the cot box. "I told you we should have taken the pieces out of the packaging first."

"If you just pivot around the corner I can get it up the stairs." Matthew's tense voice ordered. "Pivot!"

Matthew hadn't wanted to mix up the parts of the cots so he suggested taking each up in their boxes before taking out any of the individual bits.

Tom had warily looked up the narrow staircase of Crawley House but agreed.

And then they realized they needed more tools than those Matthew had brought up earlier. So Tom had gone down to his car to fetch the tool kit he had brought along.

Matthew had been left on his own to start.

And then the cursing began.

He organized into neat piles all of the screws, nuts, bolts, hooks, and rod angles. In a separate part of the room were the panels, headboards, and footboards.

Separate still were the pieces to smaller bedside cribs that would join them in their own bedroom for late night feedings.

He began to wonder if Mary had chosen these cots and beside the bed cribs just to test his near OCD tendencies.

"Got it." Tom's voice from the staircase. "It was in my tool kit." He waved the screwdriver in triumph as he re-entered the bedroom. In stepping into the room he walked over Matthew's just completed piles of hardware.

"Fuck it Tom…" Matthew lashed out. "Watch where the fuck you're walking!"

He then lifted his head in utter frustration. "Sorry. Again." He called out to Millie in the next room.

And to Tom. Who was looking on with such a look of get your head out of your ass it struck Matthew as incredibly funny. He started to laugh.

At himself.

At this situation.

He was an Oxford educated lawyer. Chosen by UK Business Matters Magazine as one of the best entrepreneurs under 35.

And these cots were going to defeat him utterly.

He held out his arms in a gesture of surrender. "Damn it I'm sorry Tom. I will buy us a round or two after all this is over. Mary's not expected back until tomorrow night so we'll grab a meal at the Downton Arms."

"Let's get to it then." Tom reached for a side panel while holding out his other hand with the screwdriver.

Matthew took the tool from Tom's hand and grabbed a handful of the screws and rod angles to put the left side of cot together.

XX

Mary sat next to Sybil.

Cora and Edith sat opposite.

Mary didn't want to intrude on her mother's thoughts.

Sybil and Edith were silent as well.

Each of the daughters looked at the other. Mary had been surprised her mother invited herself and her sisters to this kind of a retreat at the Gallery Bed and Breakfast in Thirsk. But she readily agreed. It would be their last real chance to be together without two, admittedly adorable but loud and time consuming, babies. Cora had returned to the UK a few days before and settled down with her friends in Ripon. Then out of the blue she called up Mary and asked if she was free for the week end.

It was the one chosen by Matthew to put the cots and cribs together so he told her it would be perfect. He and Tom would not get under her feet as they worked.

Crawley House, as much as Mary hated to admit, was a perfect location. Close to the nearby village as well as a short drive to the back entrance to Downton. They had moved in on Monday, bringing only boxes of clothes and personal items. Mary chose a few select paintings and vases from Downton to bring, but most everything else was new. Endless lorries had arrived in the past ten days bringing furniture, fittings, and fixtures for every room in the house. Mary was convinced her new neighbours would hate them. But instead she found them all quite welcoming. Glad that a member of the Crawley family had once again taken up residence in the historic home.

And Mary, oddly, did feel at home. Maybe it was just the age to the walls and windows of Crawley House, or the few precious reminders of home she brought. But once everything had been opened and put in its place, she was happy.

Matthew and she and stood back, finally alone after the movers had left. There was still a great deal to do upstairs. And Matthew's office was still a right mess. He hated it but had spent the time finishing the downstairs day nursery room while Mary oversaw the whole floor plan they had created with the design team. It had been tricky fitting some of the furniture they wanted in the smaller spaces, but it had been done as specified.

Mary had leaned into Matthew's arms. "Home." Her own voice unexpectedly content.

Matthew picked up on the tone. It pleased him. His hands squeezed her shoulders. "Happy?"

She turned and his arms embraced her around her back. "I'm as big as a hippo and as grumpy as a bear." Her nose tickled as she rubbed his chest. His arms squeezed harder. "I'm more surprised than anyone that I agreed to move out of a much larger space."

His deep chuckle met her ear as it came to rest against his heart.

"But yes. I am very happy with how everything has turned out." She looked up to see his face.

"I'm am too." Matthew's lopsided smile greeted her eyes. His own twinkled bright.

They kissed.

"Is your father going to be alright with us gone now?" He asked quietly.

Mary did not have an answer. Matthew had not been at Downton when she said her good-bye. He had already been at the new house guiding the movers to put the corner sofa sectionals in the right spot under the window facing the gardens.

Mary had reminded her father that "of course she was only down the road."

But they both knew this was kind of an end. Even when Mary had her place in London, she always kept her room at Downton.

And now all her clothes were gone. The night table bereft of all her personal items. Her favorite gift from her grandmother, an Edwardian necklace of a long gold chain with ruby pendant, removed from the drawer where she always kept it.

"I shall miss you my dear." Robert said. "Even if you are just down the road. I know I've not been the best company …" He shook his head. "I don't know how to put any of this right."

"It's going to take time with Mama." Mary replied as gently as she could. "She's had quite a shock. We all have. There's a great deal to process. She thought it all behind her. So to realize not only were you unfaithful, you had a hidden child as well. A child, Papa. One we knew nothing about. A brother."

"I didn't know how to tell you all." Robert started to rub his forehead. "The longer I put off telling you the easier it became to rationalize. And then Jane got sick. And the bills mounted."

Mary, despite herself, hated hearing her father saying the name of his lover out loud. It seemed such a betrayal.

"You only told us after Matthew baldly stated how bad your finances are. And even then you waited so long you got a perforated ulcer." She didn't want to leave on a bad note, but her father seemed not to understand. "You can't just believe we'd accept it and move on." She started to get up from the salon divan.

"It all snowballed." Robert looked wearily in the direction of his daughter. He waved his hand in front of his face. "I'd rather not talk about this with you. You're my daughter. It's awkward. Matthew knows more about this…"

Mary sharply turned her head back towards Robert. "What do you mean?" Each word tersely spoken.

"He knows what it's like keep secrets from those he loves… erm… loved." Robert's mouth snapped shut as Mary's nostrils flared at that divulgence. His shoulders sagged.

Mary blinked rapidly. But she regained her composure. Wouldn't let her father see she was completely taken aback by the significance of that revelation. "Be that as it may, you're going to have to get used to talking to us all about it."

She started to leave. But then said, "I don't want to leave with harsh words Papa. You know we all love you. Mama too." She put her arm on his sleeve. "We'll get through it."

"Your mother is keeping herself away from me. Even now as she's coming home to be with you, she'll not stay here…" Robert choked out the last words.

"Can you really blame her? She's not ready." Mary tried to be soothing. But her father had to see the truth. "It will take time."

"I will wait." Robert stood and kissed his daughter on the cheek. "Go to your new life. We'll talk again."

She gave her father a half smile. "We'll have lots of time Papa. I'm not far away at all."

XX

And now here she was with her mother. Also barely speaking. And her father's last words still reeling in her mind. Matthew knew how to keep secrets. He had kept his passion for her from his wife. Even as they remained married.

Her father had done much worse.

Or was it all the same to the woman scorned?

To Lavinia?

To Cora?

Mary glanced over at her mother's pain etched face.

She didn't think of Mary as the other woman? The one who destroyed a marriage?

Mary was not great on self-reflection. And she had more of it in the past ten months or so than in any other part of her life. Get on with living she'd usually say. No point moaning or angsting about past wounds or bad decisions. Maybe it was her training as an athlete that instilled it in her. You are taught to move on.

Leave the past in the dust.

She knew Matthew didn't blame her. Or want her to feel any guilt.

He was the one who shouldered all the guilt.

And Mary let him.

And that, she now reflected, was unfair.

Could she understand her mother's position?

She wasn't Cora. A wife of long standing who thought she knew exactly where her husband's affections lay. Only to have the shifting sands reveal otherwise.

Did her mother hold any hidden resentments against her?

As if Cora read her mind, she began to speak. "Edith dear. Sybil. Would you give me some time alone with Mary? I have missed you all, but there are some things we need to discuss. Go have a drink at that restaurant we saw walking over here, and then in about an hour we'll all get together for a meal. Mary and I will meet you there."

"Yes Mama." Edith answered for both. She lightly smacked her younger sister on the shoulder to get up. Reluctantly Sybil got up. She kissed her mother's cheek, threw Mary a confused look, but followed Edith outside.

"Mama?" Mary inquired somewhat nervously. "What has to be said in secret?"

"Private, Mary. Not secret. There is a difference." Cora moved closer to Mary on the sofa.

"I suppose. But it could also be called parsing words. Something Matthew and Isobel point out all the time." She grunted in slight pain.

"Are you feeling well?" Cora asked, ignoring for the moment Mary's objections.

"Yes." Mary grunted again, rubbed her abdomen. "They're just active." She lurched a bit as a spasm struck her lower back. She waved some loose strands of hair back across her head. And pulled herself back against the sofa to get more comfortable.

"We can postpone this talk if you need to nap." Cora's eyes grew anxious.

"No. You're not changing the subject. I think we need to talk as well. Papa wanders around the house, hardly sleeping. Driving us crazy with rambling memories. Neither Matthew nor I know what to say. We don't know what to tell him. Everyone keeping secrets. It's no good for anyone. Because it is the secrecy you're objecting to the most?"

"As you say everyone keeps secrets. Sometimes it's done to protect your love ones from hard truths they'd rather not face."

"Like Matthew?" Mary asked abruptly.

Cora replied politely, "If you wish."

"What's that supposed to mean Mama?" Mary had to have an answer to this question that had plagued her since the conversation with her father. "Do you think we've been selfish in our desire to be together? That he's just as bad as Papa? And I'm the other woman? One who led Matthew astray from his secure marriage?"

"Have you even considered it?" Cora asked brusquely. "You have many fine qualities Mary. But you do tend to consider your own self-interests first."

Mary knew that to be true. "I… " Closing her eyes to focus her thoughts. "It was never intentionally done to hurt Lavinia."

"I know that dearest." Cora's voice tried to moderate. "It's just difficult at times for me anymore to tell the difference. It almost doesn't matter if it was intentional or not. The fact is you and Matthew did. I was at that dinner where Lavinia was present. It was clear to anyone with eyes that you two orbited around each other like you existed on a world in which you two were the only inhabitants. Everything else fell away when your eyes met. At the time I thought it was just an infatuation, and then when we talked about him being married and you denied any relationship, I realized you were already in too deep."

Mary was on the verge of tears. Something that wasn't new anymore. She seemed to tear up at the drop of a hat. "There was no relationship at the time. And I certainly didn't lead Matthew on to expect anything."

"No?"

Mary blinked to hold back any more display of tears. "We kissed." Saying it almost belligerently. "That was it. It was a spontaneous thing."

"When did it happen?" Cora trying not to sound to interrogatory, but failing. She reached out to take Mary's hand instead. "Just tell me."

"We had gone to see Will Mason. About Jellybean. I was teaching Matthew a bit about riding around the livery yard. He helped me down off the horse…" She had to cop to it. Her shoulders sagged, "We both wanted to kiss."

"And he was still married at the time."

"Yes." Mary's hand covered her mother's. "It does seem damning. But we were never deliberately cruel. Matthew feels awful about it. He's learned to accept that he doesn't deserve any forgiveness from Lavinia. As soon as he could he asked for the divorce."

"And yourself?"

"His wife has every right to hate me. But I took it no farther than that kiss until Matthew came to me saying he had told Lavinia everything and that he had left her and was pursuing a divorce. I think that is very different than what Papa did. Than what Jane did. They continued to lie. To cover up an affair. A child. We did none of that."

"That's very true. And I don't want to see any comparisons. I see how wonderful you and Matthew are together. How very much in love. How he did the right thing and proposed marriage. And now your children…" She gripped Mary's hands. "It's just still so raw for me. I'm finding it very hard to see past any of this. People hurting people."

"Your time away in America?" Mary asked. "Did it help you see any clarity? About what you want to do?"

"I spent some time with a therapist. She and I talked about a great many things. How I didn't have to forgive to move on. Or to accept. When I first arrived I was still in shock. That's why I didn't call or text anyone more than I had to. I had to work some things out. You see I knew your father had the affair. And I learned to live with it without ever telling him I knew. I'm not saying I am to blame for subsequent events like his ulcerations but maybe if I had been more open to marriage counseling or something maybe it could have helped. I'll never know. I didn't believe Robert would ever agree to go."

Mary just sat back and let her mother talk. There was so much to know and now it all spilled forth.

"Carla tried to get me to see to the root of the affair. The minutiae of detail back six, seven years ago. I didn't want to accept that I was to blame…"

Mary scoffed. "You're not. Papa is."

"True. But our marriage was in a bad place. You were so focused on your horse riding none of us wanted to interfere in that. And Sybil had moved out to uni. Edith traipsing all over the globe. I was at loose ends. We drifted. I'm not saying he's not solely responsible for his actions. He is. And that's what I'm having trouble getting over to move into the next phase. Carla says being polarized into I'm the good wife and he's the adulterer is not going to heal anything."

"None of us like to think we're to blame for causing hurt in others. Papa is miserable. Part of me thinks 'Good he deserves to wallow.' But then it does no good. He's hurting. He feels true remorse I think." Mary continued to hold Cora's hand. "He knows his secrecy was wrong. He was doing it because he didn't know how to stop. How to come clean without hurting everyone all over again. Matthew has said it was the secrecy that killed him inside. And Papa kept it for so long. He managed to hurt everyone many times over. Including himself."

"And now what?" Cora asking herself as much as Mary. "How does one move on?"

"I don't know Mama. Do you want to move on? I mean without Papa?" Even saying it, Mary's throat constricted in pain. But it was not her decision.

"I'm here to find that out." Cora concluded. "I thought after the twins were born and you and Matthew more settled into parenting that Robert and I might go away. Away from Downton, from memories. Scotland maybe. Or the Lake District. Not too far away, mind. I don't want to be out of touch with you. But far enough so we can have privacy. Thrash it out. One way or the other. Because I can't just leave it like it is."

She paused. "And then there's Peter."

Mary looked up. "You want to meet him?"

"He is family. And your father's heir to the title. And none of this is his fault. He's just lost his mother. He's so young and innocent. I think about him I admit."

"So do we all." Mary confessed. "Sybil, Edith, and I talked about him while I was showing them around Crawley House. We agreed it was best to let things lie right now. Let some time pass."

"Yes. I think your father and I should approach his newly adopted parents first. When the time seems right." .

"You and Papa? You can step away. As he's no direct relation to you."

Cora's forehead creased in consternation. "No. I couldn't do that. I wouldn't feel right. We need to do this as a family. Your father will need someone to help him."

And even though Mary said nothing else, for fear of jinxing her mother's newfound insight, she took a twinge of hope in the idea that Cora could not yet conceive of her life separate from that of her family.

XX

Matthew got up to get the round for himself and Tom. The next one up was a microbrew pale ale had a bit of citrus and bitterness and yet underscored with malt. They had happened on a tasting of a diverse selection of liqueurs, cocktails, whiskys, and beers at the pub down stairs from the Downton Arms. Still a bit unusual for this part of the UK, Tom and Matthew partook with gusto.

What Mary didn't know…Matthew reasoned. He had been mostly good on the no alcohol pledge. But this was too good an opportunity to miss.

And frankly even though there was the attempt at making it an official tasting event, most everyone just drank a glass of every option available.

The cots were done. Finally. And they were celebrating their victory.

"So you're telling me Nick and Leo are having a baby?"

"Adopting," Tom corrected pedantically.

"You know what I mean." Matthew put the glass to his lips. "Well that's great."

Tom said, "That makes it all the more likely Mika's plan will come together."

"The on-site child care center? It's a great idea. And a good incentive for new hiring. Now that we've got over 100 employees it makes more and more sense."

"Mika's spearheading the committee finding space on the second floor. It should be up and running by later this year."

"I like the idea of families at CB Properties. Wish I had thought of it sooner."

Tom replied, "We didn't need it when we started out."

"True." Matthew answered thoughtfully. "A lot was different then.

Tom took a bite of the cod fillet of his fish and chips. "Agatha crocheted two baby blankets by the way. She's packaged them up as well. I've got them in the back of the car."

"That was nice of her." Matthew smiled. "Tell her how much we appreciate her kindness."

Matthew was tapping his beer glass.

"We closed on that freehold property in Hammersmith. The one the owner was holding out on. It can be converted from the garage into any kind of development scheme. The investment yield looks really promising."

"Good. Good." Matthew nodded. "Did we get any chance on that residential unit in Islington?"

"No." Tom grimaced. "Swire got it first. They're bigger than ever now that they've taken over Grantham."

Didn't Matthew know that all too well. "That was to be expected. We just need to shift our vision elsewhere."

"We?" Tom reminded him. "You're on a leave of absence."

"Matthew rolled his eyes. "I know. But I want to keep a hand in as well. I can do both."

Tom looked doubtful but let it go.

"How's it going with Sybil?" Matthew changed the subject.

Tom shrugged. "We've agreed to start seeing other people. She doesn't want to be tied down she says. But I think it's because she likes one of the other residents at the hospital. They did some kind of solo surgery together and grabbed a drink after."

"Sorry." Matthew muttered under his breath. "Mary never said."

"I don't think she knows. I'm just going to let it play out. If we're right for each other, it'll work out."

"That's quite understanding I must say." Matthew responded.

"Besides," Tom tipped his head towards the blonde at the bar, "two can play that game. Excuse me."

And as Matthew gave a snort of laughter, Tom got up to walk towards the woman who had been giving him lingering looks all evening.

Matthew sat back against the back of the booth. Finished his drink and contemplated switching to one of the distilled whiskies on offer. The smooth single malt Speyside beckoned in particular.

He walked over to get a glass and ended up in a deep discussion with the owner of the distillery. It turns out he and his son were looking for properties in central London as well as other major cities around the UK to expand their whisky bars. Matthew had a couple of ideas in mind around Notting Hill or Clapham Junction.

"Let me talk to a couple of my contacts. We could take a tour of some properties the next time I'm in London."

Matthew took the man's business card. Headed back to the booth to finish the last drink and get back to Crawley House in time to talk to Mary before it was too late and she was fast asleep.

He had lost track of time talking. The ideas percolating in his head wouldn't stop. This would be quite a coup for CB if they landed this client.

Matthew fingered the business card in his hand. Winding and turning it. "I thought we could start on that corner property on Ledbury Road."

Tom couldn't get a word in edgewise as Matthew spat out idea after idea. His voice animated. Energetic.

And then Matthew stopped suddenly. His eyes darkened, and started to move rapidly left to right.

His fingers still twisted the card. In and out.

Matthew became lost in his own thoughts. After several moments passed he looked up.

His fingers stopped twisting the card. The card of the new client.

It would be an exciting prospect. One he would normally have leapt onto. Never believing anyone else could handle the work load.

But this was not normal circumstances anymore.

This was his new self. His new circumstances.

The one he looked forward to like nothing else in his life.

Mary.

The children.

So instead of putting it in his pocket, Matthew held the card between his fingers and then deliberately laid it down flat on the table. And using his index finger moved the card across to Tom.

"Find someone in the office to take this on." Matthew's voice was steady despite the potency of that single malt. "I think it's an opportunity for one of the new high fliers don't you think?"

Tom smiled in understanding and replied, "I have just the person in mind."

And Matthew got up. "I've got to go. Mary's expecting me to call and the din in this place won't let either of us hear the other."

"I'll be leaving in the morning now that we've put the cots together. You coming to London next week like you said?"

"No." Matthew announced. "I'm going to stay. You can handle it without me. I'm needed here."

Tom and Matthew shook hands. "Thanks for all your help." Matthew said.

"Anytime." Tom replied dryly. "Except for babysitting. My mother might have had six of us, but I can barely handle feeding the stray cats."

Matthew's eyes widened. "It's going to be a disaster in the beginning I fear. But we'll get a handle on it all soon enough. Or at least I hope we will."

He laughed somewhat nervously and took his leave of the pub to return to Crawley House.

The present being the best time as any to make good on all his promises. Shedding his guilt over responsibilities in London, he opened the front door and sank down onto the new sofa and clicked Mary's mobile number.

"Hello darling," He said, his voice breathless with love. "I've missed you so much."

XX

 _So ok… awkward dinner yet to come… and maybe an appearance by a new character… or two!_

 _In the live and learn category- UK cots are cribs in the US and cribs are bassinet. This is my new understanding._

 _Thank you so much for reading. And reviewing!_ 😊

 _Not so hidden Easter egg tv reference for those who know the scene..lol._


	34. Chapter 34: The Way You Look Tonight

_Thanks to everyone who has read, favorited, and/or reviewed this story. I hope you continue to like this incarnation of Mary and Matthew Crawley._

XX

"Lie back and we'll get started." Dr. Walsh put the stool near the examination bed where Mary leaned back with Matthew's help. Her center of balance was completely out of whack and Matthew balanced her arm with his two hands and helped her onto the bed so that she did not fall off.

At 35 ½ weeks Mary had never felt so much not herself. She had always been slim, athletically built. Built to glide over obstacles astride a thoroughbred. The two working together as one aerodynamic force, cutting the air, and landing without so much as a tremor from the rail below the horse's hooves.

Now she believed she was actually waddling. There was a distinct sway to her gait.

She could no longer see her feet. And they were swelling.

Tired all the time now, Mary tried not to let it all overwhelm her. She was strong. Capable of doing all of this without complaint. It was vulgar and rather common to complain when she had so much.

She had her own thriving business. A loyal and supportive family. A husband who loved on her. Making sure her shoes matched. Making sure she had enough rest. Reminding her to take her antenatal vitamins and her blood pressure.

Doting.

Hovering.

Concerned.

Anxious.

And frankly Mary found it annoying as hell.

She'd snap at him saying "if he ever spoke to her in that patronizing childlike tone again she'd give him a real reason to sound like that." Her eyes cut down to his groin.

He'd smirk, in that way he had. His head cocked to one side, his eye arched. His response soft next to her ear, "I'll keep that in mind. But in the meantime, you still need someone to help you to a standing position. So take my hand and I'll make sure you won't fall."

And he outstretched his arm. His fingers long, reaching towards hers. A slow smile creeping across his lips.

Mary would inevitably return the smile and clasp his hand. Grunt and he'd catch her in a bear hug.

And they would stay like that for lingering moments.

And she'd remember, with his scent of _La Nuit de L'homme_ tickling her nostrils, why she kept him around in the first place.

"I am concerned about these numbers." Dr. Walsh tapped her iPad. "Your blood pressure has spiked recently."

Matthew's eyes tried to hide his concern. He did know that got on Mary's nerves. But he blurted out. "Why? Isn't that very dangerous at 36 weeks?"

"It can be." Walsh answered. "Mary has had good numbers all along though. So…"

They both turned to Mary.

She was idly rubbing her rounded belly. The twins kicking with tenacity. "I'll rest for the day. It'll be fine. I probably exerted too much this morning at the Stables."

Matthew twisted his mouth and started to speak but she interjected. "I just helped out in the office. The computer was off line and we had to get some tech help."

"Still…" Matthew muttered.

"Let me give you a thorough exam. Make sure the babies are positioned correctly for this stage of the pregnancy. And then we'll see about anything else." Walsh started to unhook the stirrups.

"Such as?" Mary inquired though she really didn't want to hear the answer.

Dr. Walsh gave her the straight answer. "Bed rest until we decide whether you need to schedule a C-section."

"No." Mary lifted her head from the table. "I want a natural child birth."

Dr. Walsh looked to Matthew. His eyes shifted back and forth, but he took a step towards Mary and took her hand in support.

The doctor sighed. "We don't have to make a decision today. But it is the safest type of delivery for twins. Both for the mother and the children."

Two sets of concerned eyes opened wide. "I won't be frightened." Mary said irritably.

"I'm not." The doctor's voice firm. "I'm telling you like it is. That is what you want?"

Mary's eyes closed. "Yes." She admitted.

"As I said." Dr. Walsh answered diplomatically. "We don't have to make a decision right now. Just think about it."

Matthew pursed his lips in a grimace. He knew Mary was rather adamant on this issue but he tended to side with the medical opinion. "Thank you, Doctor." He said. "We'll consider it."

Mary gave him a stinging side eye but said nothing. Instead she turned her immediate antipathy towards her physician. "Can we get on with the examination? We're supposed to be at the CPR class in an hour."

"Of course." Dr. Walsh said tactfully, and threw a reassured smile at Mary's flustered husband. She was very used to even more vitriol from expectant mothers in the last terrifying weeks before birth.

She then calmly proceeded to ask the nurse to strap on the heart rate monitor.

XX

Mary sipped the jasmine tea the server brought. Matthew took a bite of his sandwich. They were relaxing at an outdoor café in Downton Village. Mary was to meet her sisters for an afternoon of spa and massage treatment. A gift from her sisters in lieu of any kind of baby shower. Mary said she and Matthew had everything in hand and all she wanted was quiet sister time.

Matthew needed to go office hunting with an agent in Ripon. Sandy was meet him and tour several options for his Crawley Consulting and Investments. He also had an idea of offering small business hopefuls the opportunity to win him over as an investor in their product. He wanted to be a part of the community not just having an office in their town but shunning locals in lieu of bigger fish in London or New York.

"That was certainly eye opening." Matthew looked over at Mary. "I feel quite inadequate to the task."

Mary rounded her eyebrows knowing what he meant. "Baby CPR is something I hope we never have to face." She shuddered. "The delicate touched needed and the counting."

"And the choking technique." Matthew rubbed his brown. "The way the intern used the heel of his hand to deliver those firm blows. I mean how do you know what's firm? And how to do that while holding onto the mannequin baby's head to get it to cough up the coin accidentally lodged in the throat."

That demonstration horrified her. "I know we managed to do it with the doll baby but…"

They both gave mirrored wide eyed looks. "What if both are choking at same time?" Matthew voiced their ultimate fear.

Matthew stopped eating as he felt a bit queasy.

"We'll make sure the staff has CPR training of course." Mary tried to clear some of the doubts in her head.

Matthew curved his lip at the corner but said nothing. It had been a point of contention between them. She believing they needed a night nurse and a nanny hired before the babies were even born. He believing they could manage on their own with family help. Cora was coming to live with them, she had promised. Having too many strangers in the house when the stress level was already so high he thought would be a pushing the boat out and strain everyone's patience to the limit.

Mary thought the opposite. That instead, having a calming, knowledgeable professional in the house when everyone was up all night sounded almost like a no brainer to her. She had intimated that it secretly went against his middle-class sensibility to have what he'd thought of as servants in the house and taking care of his children.

Matthew didn't want to cop to that. But Mary was probably right. Even his mother agreed with Mary.

So, as he inexorably found himself these days, he was convinced to support it. And he did see the sense of it. He was just being stubborn.

Anything to help Mary. She was going to be stressed enough without his irrational contrariness.

He was just more than a bit thrown by idea of so many people in what was going to be a catastrophically disorganized house. It set his teeth on edge.

"Remember darling," Mary spoke in only a slightly mocking tone knowing her husband's tidy proclivities. "One of the tasks associated with a night nurse is to keep everything in order so that the parents can get a good night sleep so as to concentrate on the baby's needs."

He pursed his lips in an amused pout. "Alright. Alright…" He grazed a kiss along her knuckles. "When do we finalize our selection? You narrowed it down to three you said."

"Yes." Mary nodded. "Mama said she'd help me out. And since she'll be either staying at the house or nearby in Ripon I want her to get along with the nurse. You as well. Do you want to interrogate them about their cleanliness protocols?" She threw him a teasing look.

"Uh…" Matthew swallowed. His eyes beetled. Did he? On the one hand he did as he was curious as to Mary's choices and wanted to ensure they understood that they were the twins' parents and wanted to be involved in every aspect of their infancy. On the other he didn't want to push in and appear he didn't trust Mary's judgement.

Mary eased his dilemma by turning serious. "I really would like you there. You're going to have live under same roof as well. We all need to get along."

"That's settled then." Matthew answered. "I'm sure we can find someone to suit us all."

He changed the subject. But this one was even more delicate. "I know you said nothing too stressful happened to cause that spiked blood pressure, but …" He hesitated but plunged on. "Was that the entire truth? You've seemed on edge more than usual lately."

"More than a woman near birth with twins should be you mean?" Mary retorted. And then immediately relented as Matthew winced and sat back against his seat. He only wanted to help. She shrugged helplessly. "It's Mama and Papa. I don't think they're going to back together. Mama seems set on going her own way."

"Is that so bad?" Matthew inquired gently. "Given the circumstances." Not that he really wanted to get into this conversation. His own behaviour still so raw. Even though he knew he had not anything equal to Robert's betrayal, it didn't make him feel any less guilty.

"I suppose." Mary had to admit. "But you don't like thinking of your parents splitting up. Even as we're all adults, I think of us as a family going on through it all. Being there for each other. Even if Papa deserves to be boiled in oil for this sordid affair. At least the tabloids haven't a clue."

Matthew could not agree more on that. "So what does Cora want? A divorce?"

Another long sigh from Mary. "She's not said. She does want to be a part of meeting Peter which I took as good. That maybe a separation and then some kind of reconciliation down the line."

Matthew said, "It's not on us to tell her what to do. It's going to hurt everyone for a long time. I should know."

Mary took his hand. They stayed silent for a few minutes.

Then Matthew dropped another surprise. Why not get them all out, he thought. "Mother wants to visit Lavinia in Australia."

"What?" Mary eyes widened. "I thought she wanted to be here." Did that sound selfish, Mary wondered.

"She does." Matthew reassured. "She does. This won't happen until later this year. Well after she's had her fill of twin love." He laughed. Then said, "She thinks of Lavinia as a daughter. I can't tell her not to. She thinks Lavinia might be lonely."

He knew this was a delicate subject.

"I wouldn't want you to. It's nice of her. Is she?" Mary inquired tentatively. "Lonely?" She wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel about that. She knew Matthew would always carry some guilt. But it was not to intrude upon their happiness.

"I don't really know. We've talked as I told you. But she'd never disclose anything like that to me." His body language showed his discomfit. His words getting terser. "To me she's all I'm fine. I'm happy. Best decision ever to move to Brisbane." His shoulders sagged. "I hope she's telling the truth."

"I see." Mary responded quietly. She knew that was probably just for show on Lavinia's part. She'd have done much the same. She would not quote her grandmother's adage at Matthew, "Hope is a tease designed to prevent us accepting reality."

Another change of subject was needed.

"Edith is about to travel as well." Mary informed him. "Cannes. Bertie is to join her there next week."

"So that's why you're getting together today." He nodded. "When do you go to Cherrywood?"

Mary checked her mobile. "I'm supposed to be back home at 1:30. Sybil's picking me up. I seem not even to be allowed to drive myself now."

"Good on Sybil." Matthew answered back. A wispy smile crossed Matthew's lips at Mary's mention of Crawley House. He was so happy they had managed to overcome that difficulty and had worked through his thoughtlessness to create what both considered a place where they'd raise their children in a snug, happy home.

"I'll meet you this evening then?" He stood up to get to his meeting with the estate agent. He leaned over to kiss his wife.

"All relaxed and pampered." Mary purred mischievously.

"I can't wait." His voice low, making her shiver. He kissed her again, longer and lingering. "I can finish the project tonight." He whispered in her ear.

Mary knew exactly what he meant. The drawings of every stage of her pregnancy had progressed every other month or so. They were nearing the end, and so was Matthew's sketches. "How you can find me sexy as I look like a beached whale I have no idea."

"You are so very beautiful." Matthew's lips once again near her ear. "So very beautiful my darling."

"Get away with you…" But Mary's lips crushed into her husband's as he made ready to go. "Until tonight."

XX

Matthew's eyes scanned the space. It was adequate for his needs. But offered no views of the city or any urban landscape at all. Just a wall from the adjoining semi-detached.

Sangodele Abayomi, or Sandy as he had told Matthew on the phone, was an experienced estate agent in the north of England. His parents had emigrated from Nigeria in the 1960s during the Biafran War and settled in Ripon and opened a restaurant. Matthew had liked him immediately. He had a quick brain that had selected three or four small office spaces to fit Matthew's needs as their first conversation ended. So Matthew met up with Sandy on North Street a week after that talk.

"What else?" Matthew asked as they walked out the door.

"No problem at all." Sandy took the rejection of the property in stride. He wanted to please. Matthew Crawley was one of the top young entrepreneurs and his company was a place known in the real estate business a place where young operators had opportunity to shine. It would be a coup for him to win him over. "We have another property around the corner."

Matthew said easily, "Lead the way."

Later as he laid out the ingredients for dinner in the kitchen at Crawley House Matthew was more than satisfied with the corner office he selected out of the four on offer. Sandy had done his homework and there was no waste of Matthew's time which he appreciated. He had said he had one day to find this office space and they had accomplished just that. He would finish the paperwork with his own people back in London and be able to move forward in getting the consulting business up and running whenever he wanted. Probably a few weeks after the twin's arrival. He had already been in touch with the clients Morton had arranged and knew Matthew's priorities at the moment were with his family.

Mary had put him onto Fresh Foods, the mail-order meal service. He had ordered the ingredients for the pasta dish on line and they were delivered that afternoon. It included the cavatappi pasta, asparagus, the spices and condiments, pine nuts, cheese, and pancetta. Mary was expected back within the hour from her day spa with Sybil and Edith and he wanted the meal ready to eat.

He had the wireless audio system playing some classic tunes from the '50s and '60s and was sipping a sparkling water as he finished up the preparation.

Soon he heard Mary's keys jangling in the door.

"Hello…" Matthew called out from the kitchen. "In here."

"Smells amazing!" Mary walked in and sat down at the counter. She had particularly loved the redesigned kitchen of Crawley House. Warm and inviting, a modern spin on a turn of the 20th century kitchen, the space reflected her own vision best. Matthew took out a glass and poured out some more of the sparkling water for his wife.

"Have a good time?"

"Delicious." Mary said, taking a sip. "I'm not usually for excessive pampering like that, but I loved it. They gave me a deep massage that was heaven. Really helped with the lower back pain. And then a cleansing facial and a mani/pedi…. What more do you want?" She laughed, showing off her nails of perfection to Matthew.

Matthew admired the subtle hue of creamy pink as her fingers intertwined with his and he gave her palm a deep kiss.

"Hungry?" He asked.

"Hmmm.." She answered huskily. "In all ways."

Matthew's eyes twinkled at her response. Mary had been so sad of late, after returning home from that week end with her mother. So anything he could do to make her smile made his heart sing.

"It's almost done. Just a few more minutes on the pasta." Matthew turned away and back to the Aga.

"Did you find a place?"

"I did. Sandy found a spot on North Street. A corner office with big windows so I won't feel like I'm working in a cell. Now I just need to get a logo and hang out my shingle. But all that can wait until later."

He served up a plate of the pasta with asparagus, pancetta, and pine nuts and then started to rinse off the pans.

"Matthew." Mary called out mockingly. "Come and eat. The pans can wait."

He sheepishly turned back and said, "Right." But he did soak them in the sink so that they wouldn't gunk up in the dishwasher.

Mary dug straight into the pasta. This mail order innovation was as a gift from the gods. She hated shopping for food. And Matthew liked to cook more than she and that was a bonus. She had considered hiring a cook/housekeeper to come two or three times a week to clean and prep food but she thought Matthew would baulk at yet another person in the house. So the Fresh Foods meals was a great substitute. They could all take turns cooking the prepped foods.

When they were done eating, they curled up on the sofa in the living room. The music wafted softly around the room.

Just the kind of quiet evening at home Matthew had envisioned when he first considered buying Crawley House. No parents' downstairs. No one to knock on the door wishing them a good night, which as much as Matthew liked Cora, he did not miss at all.

This was their house.

Their space.

He leaned back into the sofa and wrapped his arms tighter around Mary's rounded abdomen, occasionally feeling one of the twins lightly kicking.

"Jeremy is active." He said, touching the right side of her belly.

"Yes." Mary said, grunting in irritation. She twisted slightly to get more comfortable. But it was simply impossible at this late stage of the pregnancy.

She was sweating as well, which she considered vulgar.

"What can I do to help?" Matthew's tender words, which should have helped, only made her more frustrated.

"Get these out of my body?" She snarked back.

Matthew couldn't help but laugh. "I don't think I can help with that. Anything else?"

"Dr. Walsh told me to walk around in these last weeks, to ease some early labour pangs."

"Ah…I can do that in style." Matthew gently moved her aside and got up. He moved his arms outward, rounding his hands and putting his palms out in front of his body. His long fingers reached towards Mary. "May I have this dance?" His smile was seductive. He looked up from under his eyes, willing her into his arms.

Mary looked reluctant to get up from her comfortable spot on the sofa, but how could she resist that silky tone, his pools of blue.

"Why yes." And reached her hands into his own. His strength lifted her up and protectively gathered her arms around his back.

Their heads tucked into each other's neck, as two puzzle pieces fitting nicely together. Perfect.

Mary felt Matthew's hot breath against her skin. And then a delightful tingling sensation made her shiver. He was humming softly against her ear.

And then he began to sing softly, " _Some day…"_

The music wafted in from the audio system to accompany his words. _"…when I'm awfully low. When the world is cold. I will feel a glow just thinking of you… and the way you look tonight_."

And Mary, against all the odds, felt at peace with the world.

Just the two of them.

Dancing slow. His arms protecting herself and the lives within.

" _Lovely…don't you ever change. Keep that breathless charm…"_

Matthew had a good mid-range voice that he used to great effect.

"… _Won't you please arrange it? 'Cause I love you. Just the way you look tonight."_

And as she suspected she would, Mary started to cry. Hormonal tears as she tried to laugh them off whenever it happened. Putting the bedding down in the cribs. Finishing the decorative touches in the nursery. Even buying the first pieces of clothing the twins would wear. Anything seemed to set off a flood of tears.

She was usually so stoic. So self-contained. It was quite new when it first happened. And she was slightly embarrassed.

But now she let it all wash over her. These last days alone with Matthew had been so perfect. Days they needed to cling to each other before their house was no longer just theirs.

But their family's.

She couldn't wait for that. To end this endless pregnancy. To see her children's eyes. Feel their soft skin. Hug them. Smell them. Be with them.

But she also wanted to savour each moment alone with Matthew.

As did he.

Matthew's lips engulfed Mary's in a slow kiss. "Better?"

"Oh yes." Mary returned her lips to his. "Much better."

Matthew helped her back down onto the couch. He moved to the other chair and reached out for his sketch pad.

Mary loved that Matthew wanted to capture their life together in his drawings, even as she felt uncomfortable being the object on display. She knew body image issues shouldn't bother her. She was pregnant and that was that. But she also felt bloated, her skin was blotchy, her hair frizzled.

Matthew always thought she looked amazing. Even as she questioned his eyesight she appreciated his thoughtfulness.

She leaned back against the sofaback, a couple of pillows supporting her.

And as he always did, Matthew started with "Perfect. Just like that."

A wistful smile crossed Mary's lips. "I'm going to miss this."

Matthew softly raised an eyebrow. "That's a change. I've always thought you half hated this project."

"Oh Matthew…" Mary gave a wink. "What am I always telling you? You must pay no attention to the things I say."

Matthew leaned forward, "I'll remember that." Then he countered, "But right now you have to pay attention to me. Sit still and stop talking." His tone playfully sharp, but his eyes twinkled.

"Yes sir…" Mary riposted, but licked her lips in that slow seductive fashion Matthew found irresistible before she held the pose so that the sketching could commence.

XX

"So you've worked for three families before?" Mary was increasingly uncomfortable in the kitchen chair. The pangs were sharp in her abdomen. She wasn't sure if they were Braxton Hicks contractions as the doctor warned or the real deal. She was 36 ½ weeks. It was too early, wasn't it? Cora was late getting to the house and Mary had started the interviews without her. The first two were dismissed almost summarily in Matthew's opinion, but Mary clearly knew what she wanted.

"Yes." The young woman replied. "Two in Scotland and one here in Yorkshire." She dug around in her bag for a folder. "Here's their letters of recommendation."

"Thank you." Matthew took the folder. "Were those with multiples? Twins?"

"Erm…no." Emily Buchanan faultered slightly. "But at school I cared for a set of triplets when their parents went out for dinner. It wasn't every night but I learned how to juggle priorities and keep them calm when one set off the others."

Matthew liked that response. Honest and informative. But her age made him doubt her experience. Wouldn't someone older be better? "But that was only short term."

Emily slumped a bit.

Mary had other ideas. "But it shows quick thinking on the spot." She leaned in to her husband, whispering, "calming three screaming babies must be a plus."

Matthew could not disagree with that.

But then Mary turned pale and the paper with interview questions dropped from her hand as she gripped her stomach. 'Ahhh…" A low moan emitted from her throat.

Then she gave a long agonizing moan. Her leggings were suddenly damp.

Emily knew what was happening. She leaped up from her seat. "Her water's broken. You need to get her to the hospital."

"It's too soon…" Mary tried to speak, but was stopped by more cramping.

Matthew eyes widened in sudden fear, but he broke into action. "I'll get the car."

The hospital was only a few minutes away and they had done a couple of test runs already. He threw his mobile to Emily. "You're hired. Please call that number listed for the maternity unit to tell them we're on the way."  
XX


	35. Chapter 35: Rock a Bye Babies

Matthew held the tiny body delicately in his hands. Wrapped in the blanket Cora brought from Downton, the baby was quiet.

A miracle. Any child being a miracle.

George's mouth puckered and opened and closed as if in slow motion. His eyes remained tightly shut.

Matthew looked over to Mary. "I think he's hungry." Matthew's eyes then went wide in happy surprise as his son's opened suddenly. As bright blue as his own.

"Hi there…" His voice softened. His own eyelids fluttering rapidly in weariness.

Mary, in the hospital bed feeding Jeremy, watched her husband. She was, of course doubly exhausted, and it was just the beginning. Who had ever said it was good to have the pregnancy end was insane! Oh wait, she thought…she said that.

She could barely think at all as her head ached, her body bushwhacked, her breasts red and sore. The lactation nurse was hovering way too close for her comfort. She wanted to tell her back off!

But as Jeremy suckled, the little squeaking sounds emanating from his mouth, she knew it was worth it.

YES IT WAS… Her mind screamed as her body wavered. This was real. This was life.

AND IT WAS ONLY THE FIRST NIGHT!

The day had started with the interviewing of a night nurse and ended with the birth of her children. Matthew had raced Mary to the hospital after getting the SUV in front of the house and leaping out to help Emily out the door with Mary leaning on them both.

She had fussed that "She was perfectly capable of walking."

Matthew said, "Humour me…" And reached around with his hand to support her inside the car.

Once at the hospital she was immediately admitted to the maternity unit and strapped to a fetal monitor and Dr. Walsh had been texted out of another consultation. The nurse did a preliminary exam to determine Mary's dilation. At four cm she was already along the road to a natural childbirth. But the final decision would rest with Dr. Walsh when she did her check of the positioning of the twins. As she told Mary if mom is healthy, the babies are near term but not too big, and positioned well she'd get her way with a vaginal birth.

If there were complications a C-section was the safest option.

Mary understood and agreed. She hoped that both twins were in the vertex or head down position and there was no prolapsed cord after delivery of the first boy. She also knew that an Epidural was also probably in her future. It was the safest way to deliver the twins. She was promised she'd still feel the need to push.

Matthew, holding Mary's hand through it all, collecting cups with ice chips and listening intently to the doctors and nurses. He had retrieved his mobile from Emily after she notified the hospital and now, as Mary either tried to rest or was examined to see if she was nearing the active phase of labour called the entire family to notify them that it was happening. IV fluids were being administered

"This is not a drill." He told Sybil.

"Are they sure?" His sister in law the medical resident was doubtful. "She's probably just experiencing…"

Matthew had to cut her off as Dr. Walsh called him over, "No Sybil. This is happening. Believe me. Can you tell Edith?"

Matthew then heard Sybil's scream of delight as she breathlessly said she'd tell her sister and they'd get there as soon as possible.

He clicked off and grabbed Mary's mobile to call her mother and father. "Cora. Matthew here. Mary's in labour. We've just arrived but she's already at 6cm. The doctor says the twins intend to make their appearance rather more quickly than we had ever thought."

"I'll be there." Cora said. She hesitated for a moment but Matthew reassured her that he'd call Robert.

"Thank you." He could hear the relief in her voice. "You can do this." She added, as if to release Matthew's own strain as much as she could. "Your love is a shining thing. You and Mary can do this."

He rung off and clicked on Robert's number. After a few rings his father in law answered. "Mary?"

"No Robert this is Matthew. It was easier to find your number on Mary's mobile. We're at the hospital."

A long pause.

Matthew assured him, "I've already spoken to Cora. She's coming right now to be with Mary. I will call again when it's all over why don't I? And then you can come visit."

A note of relief in Robert's answer. "I'll do just that. Give her all my love."

Another pause. Then, "Thank you Matthew."

From his old nemesis that meant a lot. "I'll be right here with her the whole time." Matthew clicked off.

And returned to Mary's side.

She gripped his hand tight. "It's hap pen… ing…" in a halted series of breaths from his wife, her face red with effort and strain.

Matthew's face mirrored his wife's. His words halting, "I know. They'll be perfect my darling."

He jerked his head towards the nurse monitoring the twin's heart rates. She nodded encouragingly.

Dr. Walsh saying, "Everything looks great. I think you're going to get your natural delivery."

Mary could barely nod acknowledgement. She was happy but concentrating very much only on what her body was telling her. To push. These boys wanted out.

"We'll be doing the epidural very soon. Matthew could you take Mary's hand while we shift her to a sitting position."

Mary gripped Matthew's fingers tight. Very tight.

Deathly tight. His hand throbbed, but Matthew didn't say a word. Mary's face was taut with concentration, eyes forward towards the collected doctors and nurses. She really didn't want to hear anything from him. Just to be there.

And he would do just that. So he bit his lip, and held her hand as steady as he could.

When the nurse readied the syringe Dr. Walsh said, "We're going to have Dr. Penwright perform the procedure."

Mary gave a quick, critical assessment of the intern. She had been warned by both Sybil and Dr. Walsh that a key part of any training for future doctors was to perform procedures on real patients. Sybil saying she had done an entire birth during her OB residency with no complications and Mary could expect the same level of competency. "They wouldn't let them do it otherwise."

But this child, and Mary couldn't help but think of her as such as she seems much younger than Sybil even, looked slightly panicked as she kept shifting her eyes from mother back to her supervising doctor.

"Very well." Mary said, through clenched teeth pain. She knew they couldn't get on with things until she was numbed. In case of an emergency this was the safest route. "But I will still feel the contractions? And push?"

Dr. Walsh turned to Alice Penwright. The younger woman nodded, "Yes you will feel a stick, some pinpricks, and then the lower half of your torso and legs will be numb. But it is a regional analgesic block to numb the pain, not an anesthesia which would lead to a total lack of feeling. Epidurals block the nerve impulses from the lower spinal segments. I'll begin shall I?"

Mary narrowed her eyes to slits, but agreed. "Yes." Her grip on Matthew tightened again.

Matthew put his forehead to Mary's tete a tete so that he would concentrate on his wife rather than observing the insertion of the needle and catheter.

A few minutes later, Dr. Penwright said with a note of satisfaction "Done."

Dr. Walsh agreed. "You can lie back."

Matthew helped Mary back onto the hospital bed. Dr. Penwright stood back once again.

"Is that it?" Mary inquired to her doctor.

"If labour is slowed due to the Epidural we might have to administer Pitocin…" But the frown from Mary made her hasten to say, "But that is unlikely. You are very far along. It shouldn't be long now."

Matthew licked his lips rapidly. Bit down on them. Tried to fight the wave of panicked nausea that descended on his body.

Not long now, he thought. The room buzzed with a little more activity as aides and nurses readied equipment for the babies arrival.

Mary shivered. He bent down close. Kissed her forehead, slicking back some of strands of hair. It was sweat soaked.

"You're going to start pushing very soon. Can you scoot down a bit." Dr. Walsh was all business now.

Mary appreciated that. She understood it was game on. Just like the minutes before the timer went off in a competition. The horse twitchy in anticipation beneath her.

Go time.

Mary breathed in from her nose and out from her mouth. Calming breaths.

"Ok…" Dr. Walsh said, "Time to push in earnest."

Matthew's own breaths came in rapidly. He tried to breathe in sync with Mary to help her.

"Push now…" the doctor encouraged. "You wanted this… remember."

Mary grunted and her face reddened. A long moan… then another.

"And …." Dr. Walsh said. "…more…"

Minutes later Matthew heard, "the first one is crowning. Come Matthew. Come have a look at your son."

His eyes went wide. Matthew turned to Mary. She let go of his hand. Tried to smile, but it was replaced by another moan.

Matthew moved just in time to see the squinched face of his son emerge. He choked up and started to cry. "Get under control man…" He told himself.

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

His hand shook, but guided by the nurse he snipped the umbilical cord in the correct spot.

Ten little fingers.

Ten little toes.

They the nurses whisked him away for the APGAR test and cleansing.

But something was missing…

Matthew asked, tears still streaming from his face. "Why…why isn't he…?"

And then this piercing wail screeched through the air. "Oh…" Matthew dropped his head in utter relief. "there it is…"

There was so much activity in the room now. Monitors going off. He was discombobulated.

But not as much as Mary.

He rushed back to her side. "You're doing so well. He's perfect. George is perfect."

She could barely nod, the concentration on pushing their second son taking all her energy. Her control.

"Here he comes…Push…PUSH!"

Mary gave the loudest grunt of her life and pushed. Matthew leaned his body against her back and gripped her shoulders.

"Now…" Dr. Walsh said. "Now…" And then another, softer cry greeted his brother's across the room.

"Jeremy's out." Matthew said. Mary dropped in exhaustion down onto the bed.

He followed same instructions for the cord cutting and Jeremy was taken away to the attending nurses.

George was brought over to Mary.

They adjusted the bed so that she could sit upright. Shaky arms reached out to take the little boy.

Mary's face was red. Sweating. Tears mixing with perspiration.

"Can you …can you…" She could barely speak to Matthew.

He knew what she wanted. His arms supported hers as she held their son.

The baby's eyes were open, his face puffy.

"Darling…" Matthew kept kissing and rubbing his lips against her forehead. "Darling…" His head leaned against hers.

They watched their son squiggle and squirm.

Matthew grinned madly as George's tiny lips opened and this wail emerged that threatened to test the boundaries of human hearing.

"Someone's not happy to be outside his mummy's warm belly." Dr. Walsh walked over. "Good set of healthy lungs. I love it." She gave Mary a big smile.

Mary was so exhausted. And it was only the beginning. Her eyes closed, she held the baby closer against her chest.

Matthew went to fetch some ice chips from the cart across the room.

Dr. Walsh asked, "What's the little guy's name?"

Mary blinked rapidly, trying to remember her own name. Then after a moment she said, "George Matthew Crawley."

Matthew returned just as George's brother was brought over. "And Jeremy Reginald Crawley." He took the infant from the nurse.

It had all happened so fast. According to plan, Mary would have said. Perhaps even a bit smugly. Had she not been to overwhelmed to even notice.

That's where he came in. To help out wherever he was needed.

"We need to give some time for Mary." Dr. Walsh said to Matthew. "I need to examine her. So we're going to take the baby's to the nursery and you can go tell the family."

"Are they here?" Matthew looked around wildly. He pushed his fingers through his hair.

"Outside." One of the nurse's said. "One of them wanted to come inside, but I kept them all out."

Matthew had to laugh. "That must have been Sybil. She's in her medical residency. I'll go out."

Matthew looked over at Mary. She had heard the conversation about the family being outside and knew Matthew would go out to greet them. But she had her hands full of babies and could only give a weak smile and nod as he blew her a loving kiss.

XX

"Are you as glad I am that we're alone?" Matthew said as he lifted George into Mary's arms and took Jeremy.

Sybil and Edith had hugged Mary and held each of the twins. Promising to help out whenever she needed them. Robert had held back a bit until coaxed by Mary to come over and hold his firstborn grandson.

"My dearest girl…" He choked on some tears as he kissed Mary's cheek.

Cora said very little to Robert but the two grandparents stood side by side at the twin cots gazing lovingly down at the boys as they slept.

Then Jeremy had started to cry and the lactation specialist took him over to Mary.

Robert was to first to leave. Then Sybil and Edith.

Mary's eyes drooped. She could barely put a coherent sentence together. Her lower torso and limbs finally tingling with sensation again. The lactation specialist had been the last to leave after she was confident the infant was suckling properly.

Except for Cora. The new grandmother doted over her two new boys. She had given Mary the blankets to wrap each one in utter comfort. "Those hospital ones are so thin," she made a face. "I bought and laundered these so they're soft and comfy."

And only when Mary requested some quiet time did Cora get the hint that the new parents wanted to be alone. One last kiss for each boy and she was gone.

"They mean well." She tried to be diplomatic. "But next time they visit, let's space them all out."

The two parents chuckled.

She did have to ask, "Where's Isobel?" It was odd that Matthew's mother had not arrived from Manchester.

Matthew pursed his mouth. "She's still home. Helping out at the hospital after the ..uh… incident at the concert."

Mary's face darkened in understanding. "That's very good of her."

Matthew nodded. "She'll be here within a day or two though." Jeremy was falling asleep and Matthew got up to put him in the hospital crib.

"Any word on when you go home?" Matthew realized that just being here twelve hours with all the nurses and specialists and help from family it made the illusion they actually had this under control.

When he knew they did not. They could possibly not.

"Once the twins are checked again and Dr. Walsh is satisfied with my progress she said I could leave as early as tonight." Mary adjusted George's head. He was asleep as well. Warm and safe in her arms.

How could that possibly be? She asked herself for she had never felt so out of her depths in her life. Usually self-reliant to the maximum now she knew this threatened to overwhelm her.

It was one thing to worry in theory. It was another when two sets of eyes looked to her for all their needs.

What the hell did she know?

But she knew how to fake it. Even when she knew her horse was not the best in the competition she'd never let her competitors know it.

Not that it was the same of course. But her attitude needed to be. It was a mind game she hoped.

Believe she could do it. And she'd do it.

Mary kissed her son's forehead. "Jeremy is asleep." She yawned.

Matthew's lips twitched in humour.

"What?" Mary furrowed her brow. "Can you take him? I want to lie down."

Mouth still contracting but without a word, he reached out his arms. "Come to me Georgie boy."

Mary then realized her mistake. She snorted at the error, but recovered nicely. "I knew that was George…I was testing you."

Matthew cocked his head, "Of course my darling."

"Bastard…" She muttered with a wicked side eye.

He gave her a wink. "Get some sleep."

She looked slightly concerned that Matthew would be in charge of both twins if she took a nap.

"Don't worry." His lopsided grin comforted her. "I got this."

XX

Two months later Matthew almost had to eat his words.

He had no idea such exhaustion existed. He hadn't showered. He felt grimy and grubby. Not his favorite feeling. And he had no idea how to calm them down. It was like they had one mind. They slept together. Ate together. Were happy together.

Screamed bloody murder together.

The new night nurse, Iris Graham was due within the hour to help relieve him. Cora had stepped out to have lunch with some friends.

Mary had gone back to Downton Stables to oversee some budgetary concerns Claire had in the office. Matthew wanted her to handle it over the phone, saying it was too much.

She had said hotly, "I'm not fragile Matthew. I had a natural childbirth. Dr. Walsh gave me the go ahead to get out more. And I intend to do just that." She glared at him "Unless you can't handle it until Iris arrives. I can call my mother back in?"

Matthew gritted his teeth. They had gotten on each other's nerves regularly in the past months. Even with the nurse help to put the children back in their cots after Mary fed each, Matthew wanted to help. But everything he tried to do he was told he was in the way. Hovering too much. Both parents stumbled around as if in a fog.

It was very challenging.

Matthew knew she was going a bit stir crazy at Crawley House. Nursing the twins sapped all her energy. She had been tired all the time. The doctors recommended another night at the hospital before going home, and even only then when she was assured the night nurse had been hired and was ready to go. Emily, Mary had decided, was too young for the responsibilities of twins and hired her instead as a part time nanny baby sitter. When the boys were a few months old Mary wanted to start weaning them onto the bottle and being able to get around more freely and back to work on a regular basis. And then Emily would take on more duties.

But until then Mary had hardly ever left the house.

So this was an opportunity for her to get back some of her life.

Matthew bit back his initial opposition and let her go.

And then they started to cry in unison. It was like a symphony of yelps and bellows in rising frequencies and intervals.

Matthew held one in his arms while rocking the other in the portable crib. George stopped crying but just as he tried to put him down, started up again.

He tried to give a bottle of the expressed milk Mary left, Jeremy spit it out.

Changed them both just to have something to do.

Eventually he decided to walk them both around in his arms. George in his left. Jeremy in his right.

Hushing and cooing sounds with his mouth. And then he tried to sing a children's song or two. And then he ran out of songs he knew.

Then he remembered a song he sang at a Rugby School talent show. Did he remember the words?

"… _You can tell everybody this is your song  
It may be quite simple but now that it's done…_

They actually began to yawn in unison. "Thank the lord for small blessings…" Matthew muttered under his breath. He hummed some more as it seemed to sooth the twins. Then continued.

 _I hope you don't mind  
I hope you don't mind  
That I put down in words_

It suddenly came to him how perfect these words were.

 _How wonderful life is while you're in the world_

They started to drift off… "how wonderful life is while you're in the world." He finished, tears forming at the corners of his eyes.

Maybe he could do this after all.

XX  
Mary rocked George while he suckled. She was sore all over. Her breasts red and raw. She must look a fright but after coming back from Downton Stables she didn't even feel like getting into the shower.

She let Iris leave early that night, saying she and Matthew would be fine. Her mother was expected back and would remain the night.

While Jeremy slept, George was awake and hungry. Matthew was out in the kitchen putting together another one of the Fresh Foods meals. He seemed annoyingly chipper when she came back home. Even a bit smug that both boys were quiet and happy in their cots.

Mary did not mention how the bags under his eyes, though, made it clear to her just how much effort it took to get them that way.

But now the house was quiet. And she just wanted it to remain so.

Cora was downstairs sorting her own laundry, insisting she would not put anyone else out. Iris handled the babies as part of her duties. Mary knew one of her tasks as soon as Iris left was to hire that housekeeper. She had no intention of dealing with all these household things on top of getting back to work and riding.

Matthew would just have to deal.

She knew she had been on him a lot lately. She needed to tell him just how much she loved how hands on he was with the boys.

And admit, against her will, that he had been right today to advise not going to the Stables. That ate at her pride. But she knew it was the truth.

Matthew walked in to the boy's upstairs room, taking a minute in the doorway just to admire the quiet beauty of mother and child.

It always took his breath away.

"Hello." He said, walking over to his family. "Cora is in with Jeremy."

"You can bring George to her if you would." Mary said as he released from her breast. She put him on her shoulder to burp.

"Would you like some dinner?" Matthew waited for her to finish with George.

She shook her head. "There…" And she handed the baby over. "Come right back will you?"

Matthew scooped George into his arms and brought him down to Cora.

"We'll be fine Matthew." Cora said, taking the infant from his father's arms. "Go to Mary. Take some time off. You both deserve it."

With a grateful smile, Matthew escaped upstairs.

He re-entered the boy's room to see Mary still sitting in the rocking chair.

"Let's go to our bedroom." He cocked his head across the hall. "I'll run you a bath."

"Hmmmm…" She cooed. "Delicious."

Matthew walked across to help her up. "I have a confession…" She said as he held out his arms. She took his hands and got up from the rocker.

"What's that?" He slipped his arm around her waist. He was intrigued. Mary never admitted to failure.

"I should not have gone into the Stables today. It was very draining. Jerry chided me when I tried to walk Jellybean around the livery yard. I stumbled a bit."

Matthew's face paled. "What?"

"I know… I know." Mary looked sheepish. "She looked so forlorn. Jerry said the Bean was off her food. I was worried. So I thought I'd walk her around a bit. I didn't ride her."

"You're ok now?" Matthew did not want to reproach her. She didn't have to tell him anything. So he just listened.

"Yes. I rested. Had a glass of water. Some food." Mary rested her head on his shoulder.

Matthew then asked "And the Bean? Was she happy to see you?"

Mary gave a sudden beatific smile. "She was." Jellybean had responded immediately to Mary's touch. Her soothing voice. She had missed her. "We missed each other. I think she'll be better now. Maybe tomorrow we can go together. You can drive me over."

That was a lot for Mary to admit to. Matthew knew how much she loved her horse. She knew her first priority were the twins. They were her life. Her loves. But she also considered the thoroughbred as a part of that family.

Somehow they would work it all out.

But for right now he just said, "Come with me."

He had put some fragrant, soothing bath salts into the warm water in the large iron clawfoot tub in the en suite bath they had added to their bedroom as part of the renovations. Sacrificing some closet space for the bath was one they both agreed would be fine.

"Aaaah…" Mary eased into the water after slipping off her leggings and top. Matthew massaged her shoulders as he kneeled down by the side of the tub.

"So nice." Mary sank into his loving touch. Her head went back and their lips met in a lengthy kiss.

"Hand me that glass will you I want to try to wash my hair. It's just awful."

Matthew moved to get the glass. He put it under the tap, mixing the cold and hot until it was just right, and said to Mary in a hot whisper, "I'll wash your hair. You just relax. Let me help you."

Mary let him do just that. She felt she could not be in better hands. She felt his love in every touch.

Maybe they'd survive this after all.

XX

 _So babies are happy. And our weary parents are surviving. I hope you love George and Jeremy as much as I do._


	36. Chapter 36: Hitting Your Stride

XX

"What are those?" Matthew's voice was high and sweet. "Are those your toesies? Toesies Toesies…" It became a sing song.

George was lying on his back, his tiny hands thrust upward grasping his legs. His eyes widened in delight.

He opened his mouth showing his first baby teeth.

Matthew's fingers took hold of George's little feet. "You've found your feet." He wiggled the left foot. George's face turned to it and squealed in delight. So Matthew continued, "Your toesies woesies…" His fingernail tickled George's sole lightly. "This little piggy went to market…"

Edith joined in "This little piggy stayed home…" She was feeding Jeremy in his high chair some mushy veggies. They had just started eating solid foods a week ago. Mary was slowly weaning them off the complete diet of breastmilk. She and the night nurse Iris had tried creating homemade baby foods but neither of the twins liked the strained purees of sweet potatoes. That had confused them. Each of the boys made such a sour face and pushed their mouths away. George had started to wail.

The next day Mary was a bit rushed for time and stopped at the local market and picked up some organic banana baby puree in a pre-ready to pour pouch. Sure enough both twins gobbled it up and opened their mouths for more.

Mary had laughed, saying to Iris, "Babies know best."

They had mixed up homemade and store bought food since. Now at six ½ months Jeremy was gobbling down the puree and even taking some of the soft cooked solid squash and carrots Sybil was prepping in the kitchen.

They all joined in to finish "This little piggy had roast beef, this little had none."

Matthew's hands poised above his son's to tickle his tummy. His face lit up in big smile as he finished. "This little piggy went We wee wee…all the way home!" And Matthew's fingers moved swiftly up and down George's body.

George gave a full out belly laugh.

Everyone was delighted. Jeremy in the high chair joined in, spitting his carrots all over the floor as he laughed.

They had developed their own personalities as well. George was more serious usually. Unless Matthew made him laugh. Jeremy, on the other hand, was happy all the time. A big grin across his face.

"He'll be the class clown." Sybil said, "you wait and see."

The sisters were visiting for the week end, staying at Downton but spending most of their time at Crawley house with the twins.

Cora was being rather mysterious, Edith had said when they all settled back to their tasks after the twins outburst. Matthew put on George's socks after his son let go of his toes. He had already put on the braced trousers and pull over shirt. They were all going to take the SUV later over to Downton. Mary was to meet them at the big house after she finished some office work. Dinner with Robert being the evening's entertainment.

If you could call it that, Matthew mused as he lifted his son into his arms. Robert continued to remain in virtual isolation at Downton. Hoping against hope Matthew thought that Cora would return to him.

"You mean Cora won't be there tonight?" He asked his sister in law.

"No. But not only that. She's been off the grid so to speak for a couple of weeks. Every time I want to chat or have her up to Brancaster she's busy she says. Staying in Ripon. Working on something, but she won't say what."

"Divorce proceedings?" Sybil snarked. She sniffed. "Wouldn't blame her."

"You still think that might happen?" Edith asked. "I hope not. I hope they can work it out."

"You're a romantic. I'm a realist." Sybil turned to face her sister after finishing putting dishes in the dishwasher. "It's the 21st century women don't have to take it anymore. Not even women of mother's generation."

"She's not that old." Edith made a face. "you make her sound ancient."

"She should remember it then. And not believe that she has to go back. Like some servant."

"Maybe she wants to." Edith replied evenly, refusing to take Sybil's bait. She finished off the puree and wiped Jeremy's mouth.

Sybil just sniffed again.

Matthew stayed out completely. It was the same conversation he'd heard the sisters have for months. Cora would make up her own mind, of that he was certain. But this isolation from relations was odd. He didn't tell Sybil or Edith or even Mary but Cora had asked to see him.

In private. The next day. She asked for complete discretion and he had agreed. Did she want some advice? For him to suggest a lawyer friend to begin processing divorce papers?

He'd find out soon enough. He was already helping Robert separately deal with the debt at Downton. After the sale of Grantham LTD had been finalized funds had become available to pay down what was owed and begin some the needed restorative work. What was really needed was a full time business manager of the estate. Robert had made due with a steward but with plans to expand the farming side of Downton, his job would be taken up by those duties. Matthew had no interest in the job of overseeing Downton, but at Robert's behest he was making some inquiries.

Matthew lifted George into his arms, giving him a kiss on the cheek before handing him over to Sybil to grab the keys. Edith and Sybil held a twin each as Matthew pulled the SUV around. They strapped the twins in their car seats and then got in beside Matthew.

It was just a short ride through the back entrance to Downton.

The dinner turned out to have a surprise of its own. When everyone assembled (sans Cora) in the dining room at Downton Robert announced he had agreed to hold the annual Downton Village fair on the grounds of the estate. It was the usual rotation, but with all the goings on he had forgotten it was Downton's turn.

"Isn't the fair usually the last week end of this month?" Mary asked, holding Jeremy as the baby squirmed in the sit me up chair she had dragged from the make shift playroom on Downton's lower level and into the dining room. He had demanded up and so now he was on his mother's knee. George continued to play silently in the rocker, Matthew keeping a side eye on him.

"Yes it is." Robert said, taking a forkful of vegetables.

"So it's in a fortnight?" Edith gasped. "Have you got anything ready?"

"Your mother has it in her capable hands." Robert informed the group. "The mayor called her it seems after I had forgotten to attend a planning meeting. She went in my place. The matter is in order."

Mary furrowed her eyebrows. She took part in the fair last year by having a booth and informing the locals about Downton Stables. It had not occurred to her the fair was coming around again. She really had to get back into the full swing of things. But then Jeremy spit up on her shoulder and she heaved a sigh. Motherly duties took precedence once again.

"I don't understand this at all." Sybil blurted out. "Mama? Helping you?" Her tone almost cutting.

Robert turned to face his youngest. "She is. And I'm very grateful." He choked back an emotion he didn't want to exhibit in front of his children.

But Mary caught it. Her eyes locked with her father's. Hers were sympathetic. He nodded imperceptibly to his eldest in appreciation.

He said to the assembled, "I take nothing from Cora's help regarding our marriage. I don't deserve any forgiveness from her. But I am very grateful for her generosity of spirit."

Mary, however, could not but take a flicker of hope.

She hugged her son. She was becoming soft. And she didn't even care.

XX

Mary jumped smoothly over the gate. Jellybean came down soft and easy on her front hooves and then the back. They continued to canter over the field.

The wind in her hair.

Her breath caught at the back of her throat as she exhaled slowly.

The feel of the horse beneath her. She lifted off on the stirrups to see around the corner.

The thicket was impassable so she guided the horse around and came back across the grassland to the stable yard.

There she slowed Jellybean into a trot then a slow walk to cool her off.

It was a clear day. No clouds. Even in November the sun beat down on them. They had been out about an hour, and Jellybean deserved a long brush out.

That would take another two hours of effort for Mary. Jerry would offer to finish for her.

But she'd have none of that. She loved every single moment of it.

Her first full day back at work had started marvelously. The boys were back home with Iris and Cora. Matthew had finally gone to set up his office. She had to practically push him out the door promising she would not judge him harshly if he stayed all day in Ripon.

"You're going to the Stables, right?" He had confirmed before picking up the keys to his Porsche. "I won't go if you're not."

"Yes. Mama will drive over with George and Jeremy in an hour or two so I can feed them." Mary had just gotten the go ahead from Dr. Walsh that she was in good health and recovered from any trauma from the twins' birth. As long as she took it easy and didn't overstress her body she could ride. "I will take Jellybean out for a light gallop…" She saw Matthew's furtive look of concern but continued. "And then it will just be office work with Claire. Maggie's coming over and she'll take out Mr. Banks for a longer run. I need to see her ride before the gymkhana at the fair on Saturday."

Matthew pursed his lips.

"Stop looking like a mother hen." Mary was exasperated. "I won't do anything more than take the Bean out for an exercise and watch Maggie watch ride."

"It's just that…" He stopped as she swiftly walked over and gave him a crushing kiss to stop him in his tracks.

"It's just that you worry about me." She finished for him. "And I love you for it. But I'm fine." She placed her hands firmly on his chest. "How will you be? Away from all of us?"

Matthew sucked in a long breath and exhaled slowly to calm his worries. He looked down into Mary's eyes and gave her a lopsided grin. "I will always worry about you." He admitted. "About you. About the boys."

"But I don't expect you too. I can take care of myself." Mary wiped a wisp of hair back across Matthew's forehead.

"You don't have to expect it. It's just the way I am made now." Matthew brushed his lips against her cheek. "Nothing you can do I'm afraid. Will you be able to take it?"

Mary's body tingled at his touch. They had not been together in such a long time. She was exhausted. He was busy. And with so many people in and out of the house they had very little privacy.

That was going to have to change soon.

"I can take it." Mary said quietly, resting her head against his rib cage.

But then she playfully patted his chest. "I might not always look as if I appreciate it though. I do have my bitch face reputation to maintain."

Matthew's response was a chuckle that reverbed in his chest against Mary's ear. "I would expect nothing else."

Mary thought of that exchange as she brushed Jellybean. He got her as no one else ever had.

They had already been through so much in their short relationship. Both had realized they had forgotten the July anniversary of the day the met as they were so caught up in twin loving.

That was Matthew's endearment towards their boys. And his answer to everything.

Why did he forget to call back that new investment opportunity? Twin loving he'd say with a cheeky grin.

What about Mary walking half asleep down the hall thinking she heard George cry out? Twin loving he'd reply gently and take her back to their room and show her that George lay sleeping quietly in the crib beside their own bed.

Not that he was the best at getting up in the middle of the night. He'd grump and growl and throw off the covers in one swift heave, hair over his eyes interfering with his ability to grasp his mobile to see the time. Just the previous week Matthew had taken charge. At almost seven months the babies were, more or less, sleeping through the night. Iris had taken the week end off and they were alone with the twins. Isobel had been to visit for a few days while Cora went about some private business. But she left again for Manchester. Mary had teased about him not being up to task of taking care of two little ones alone. He had said he most certainly was.

"Parents do this all the time." But even as he affected confidence, his voice quavered in slight hesitation. "I want you to rest. We had a time with those ear infections last week. Now that they're over it…I can handle them for a while."

Mary had taken him at his word, though she surreptitiously turned on the baby video monitor upstairs in their bedroom as she rested on the bed. Matthew checked in to see the babies napping and then gently closed the door again.

She heard him rummaging around the kitchen and the whoosh of the machine as he prepped a cup of coffee.

And then she fell asleep, a smile creeping across her lips.

These thoughts crowded her mind as she rubbed down Jellybean.

She was so very lucky. Rich in family. Rich in love. And yet… Mary sighed. She had to admit to a certain restlessness. To get back into training full time. In consultation with Dr. Walsh she had begun an exercise regime to condition her body. Breastfeeding twins had sapped her energy for months but had also allowed her to lose much of the weight put on during the pregnancy. The new fitness program included strengthening her core with a cardio workout and some light jogging. She'd worked up to a full workout just last week. Three mile run. A work out with a trainer. She felt marvelous.

And then her first competitive riding. In looking over the schedule she concluded the Berkshire Horse Trials was her best bet to re-enter the field. Where she had won just the previous year in the show jumping competition. She had been a month pregnant at the time and not even known it.

So much had changed. Her competitors might think she'd be rusty from being away so much. An easy target. Soft from motherhood.

She'd show them. Mary continued to brush Jellybean in long, even strokes. Being a mother to twins had given her a strength she had no idea she possessed. A determined focus. And patience.

Lots of patience.

Mary finished and led Jellybean back to her stall where she started to nibble on some oats.

Returning to the office Mary pulled off her gloves and sat down. A text from Matthew said he'd be done in Ripon by 5pm. Another from Cora said the boys had been fed and were in the downstairs playroom.

The boys were her joy.

Except when they weren't of course. There were nights when they squirmed and squawked. Their crying enough to wake the neighbours she feared. Teething pain had exacerbated it.

She knew she'd go mad if they did not stop. That she couldn't make them stop. Feeling helpless. How to get them to stop?

But they did stop. Eventually. And they all survived.

Sanity at least half still intact.

Now she was ready. Ready for anything.

To take on the world.

They wouldn't know what hit them.

Jellybean was prime for competition. Mary could feel the horse's spirit as they rode.

She wanted back in contest as much as her rider.

So Berkshire it was. About a week after the Downton Village Fair where Maggie would ride in the junior show jumping event.

Mary didn't have much to do with the planning of the fair, keeping her own involvement strictly to publicizing Downton Stables and prepping Maggie for her competition. Her mother was still very mysterious as to her intentions in helping out in the organizing of the fair.

Matthew for sure knew more than he let on. He had confided to her that Cora had spoken to him in confidence. He gave only the assurance that it was all to the good.

Mary had to believe him. For he wouldn't say more.

She finished going over some spreadsheets regarding feed costs. Tomorrow would be the fair.

She suspected she'd know by then. The whole family would be in attendance. Well almost the whole family...

Another glorious autumnal day she hoped.

When all would be revealed.

XX

Matthew grunted as he pulled on the blade. A good grunt. Stretching his muscles, stroking the water in even motions.

It felt good to be out on the river. The Ouse flowed easy. The breeze was soft but not as humid as it would have been in the summer. He had been approached by the Yorkshire Rowing Club to get a membership but for the time being he wanted to just row alone. When he wanted. Where he wanted. He had taken them up on the opportunity to store his single scull in their facility, purchasing a top of the car rack for the SUV to put it on when he wanted to take it to the river. He had bought a matching BMW SUV to Mary's as he did not want to have her go without transportation should he be out. But he had also kept the Porsche. Not being able to part from it.

It was a rich man's indulgence he knew.

He squinted in the sun. One day he'd learn not to feel guilty about his success. But it also kept him humble. Aware of his roots. Aware of his responsibility to help. And to give whatever advice or guidance he had to those who also wanted to succeed in this cutthroat business world without losing one's humanity. It was not easy. He had almost lost himself to ambition. To vanity. The farther he was from that person he was the less he understood how he had let himself be seduced by money. By power. He knew that he never wanted to return to those days.

He found success now on his own terms.

In his family. His love for Mary and the boys. In helping out whenever she needed him. Helping to right Downton's ship alongside Robert. That had its limits but if it helped Mary to maintain Downton in family hands he'd do his best. Robert really needed to hire a full-time business manager. He had a good feeling that he had found his replacement. Someone who could take the reins and bring Downton into the 21st century. Sandy Abayomi, the young man who had helped Matthew find office space, was interested in expanding his horizons beyond the grind of being an estate agent for a large corporation. Matthew had spoken to him over a lunch about the possibilities of a managerial role at Downton. Sandy had been interested and was to come to the fair later that same day to talk to Robert.

Matthew would be glad to give up that responsibility to someone he trusted.

For he had taken up another one that could potentially conflict with the former.

His meeting with Cora had been certainly a surprise. They had coffee at a local shop the week previous. She had gotten straight to the point.

"I've heard Mary speak of a new venture of yours?" She started in. "Offering to invest in new business ideas with the right person."

Matthew nodded. "Yes. In connection with a local bank I've proposed to fund three small enterprises. They need to come up with a sound business model of course, but if I agree with their model I'll help out financially and give advice when needed. I want to be a part of this community now that we've settled here permanently. And it's far more interesting work than the consulting stuff."

"I'm so happy to hear to say that you've settled down here for good." Cora smiled. "You and Mary putting down roots in Downton makes me happy."

"Even though you might not anymore?" Matthew ventured cautiously.

She turned to face her son in law but said nothing.

He read such anguish in her face. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overstep. It's just that Mary is so very concerned. It hurts me to see her in pain."

"Me too." Cora's face frowned. "I don't seem to be able to move on. Or move back. It's like a kind of limbo really."

Matthew nodded in what he hoped was sympathetic understanding.

"But I must do something." Cora suddenly became more businesslike. "Which brings me to the point of asking you for coffee."

Matthew sat up straight in the chair, leaned forward. Ready to listen.

"I want to present a business model to you."

His eyebrows shot up in astonishment. "Really?"

"Yes. I need to find my place in the world. My own. Not as a wife. Nor a mother. I've let this go far too long."

"You mean go back into medicine?" Matthew recalled their conversation at the hospital where Cora had spoken of abandoning plans to be a doctor.

"No." Cora shook her head. "Not that. I want to put the skills I've gained more recently to good use. At Downton. I know you want Robert to hire a business manager to oversee the investment and farm side of the estate and that's an excellent idea. But I also know the house itself could make money. Money potential in tours, gift shops, rentals that Robert will not brook. He has always been opposed. But I want to try. If I put together a successful model of operations, would you consider backing me in the venture?"

Cora's eyes bored directly into Matthew's.

He took a moment to absorb the shock of it all. It was a sound idea. One he had suggested to Mary himself. The house needed to start paying its keep.

But that Cora wanted to do it. He had thought she wanted to divorce Robert and never set foot permanently in Downton again.

He swallowed. "Do you know what you'd be taking on?"

"I know." She nodded calmly. "I don't want to give anyone false hopes so please don't tell Mary the details quite yet, but I cannot find it in myself to leave the home I've had for almost thirty years now. Nor Robert. He needs me. I'm not making any promises. It will be one day at a time."

"You'll continue to live away?" Matthew gently inquired.

"For the time being. I eventually want Robert to work with me on this. But for now I will take charge. Can I bring you my plan when it's finalized? I'm shadowing the operations in North Yorkshire of Fountains Abbey with the help of the National Trust managers to better understand what might work at Downton. It's not quite the same but I see lots of potential."

"So that's where you've been spending your time." Matthew grinned for the first time in the conversation. "I think you are going about this in just the right way. I'd be happy to look over your plan."

"No bias, right?" Cora demanded. "I want you to be objective."

Matthew's grin continued but he gave a curt nod. "Absolutely. I'm not in the business of turning good money to bad. If I think it'll work I'll back your idea."

"Good." Cora took a sip of her coffee. "That's all I wanted to hear."

So now he found himself awaiting her business model. Two other local entrepreneurs had also expressed interest while there were four or five more emails for him to read.

He pulled the scull out of the water and lifted it up onto the car rack. The fair was already underway at Downton and he had promised to be there by 11am to take the boys back to Crawley House for their naps while Mary stayed on to help out.

He showered and changed clothes at Crawley House and got back in the car.

Matthew drove over to the estate. He saw the buntings and ribbons as he parked. Heard the squeals of laughter from the children as they road around on floats pulled by vintage farm machinery. Saw the signs for the dog show. The gymkhana where Mary's protégé Maggie competed was on the south side of the estate.

He rounded the bend on foot and made his way around stalls selling pies and candied apples.

The first family member he saw was Sybil. She called his name out loudly. "Matthew. Over here."

He smiled and walked over. "Hullo. What do they have you doing then?"

Sybil rolled her eyes. "Tombola. Again. Every year I end up doing this stupid raffle."

He chuckled. "Isn't it for charity?"

"Yes. It's all in a good cause. But Edith promised to take over and she's nowhere in sight."

"Maybe it's because you're so good at getting everyone to participate." Matthew pointed out.

Sybil grunted again in utter boredom. But then both were taken completely by surprise when around the corner of the house they espied her parents walking together.

"Isn't that …" Matthew started but his voice trailed off.

"It is…" Sybil continued for him. "It must be."

They glanced at each other and then back to Robert and Cora. And the small child holding Cora's hand.

He was about six.

"Peter." Sybil said under her breath. "Papa's brought Peter to the fair."

XX

 _Thank you for continuing to read my story. I never expected to reach such numbers of views and reviews. It's most appreciated. I've been away with a family emergency these past two weeks but I hope to get back into the stride of writing._


	37. Chapter 37: At the Downton Fair

Matthew left Sybil's side to continue on to find Mary. Sybil never even noticed, transfixed by watching her mother and father with Peter.

He found his wife standing at the side of the fencing which contained the gymkhana participants. She was completely focused on the rider jumping one of the obstacles. His own glance took in Edith and Isobel in the make shift stands each with a twin on their lap.

His mother had arrived for a longer visit just the past week. He waved as he walked past and motioned he was going to see Mary. Isobel nodded acknowledgement then her attention was diverted by Jeremy.

Matthew's mother, along with other family members found it astonishing that he and Mary could very easily identify which twin was which. To them, being around George and Jeremy 24 hours a day for the first weeks of their lives, it became second nature to understand their individual cry or that Jeremy's forehead crinkled more than George's. They had kept the hospital ankle bracelets on for a day or two just to make sure but now both parents confidently identified who was who. But because their other caregivers had some uncertainty Mary made a list of their individual characteristics to tell them apart. George's cowlick swirled right. Jeremy had a freckle on the third toe of his left foot.

By now the family also knew Jeremy's giggle was high pitched whereas George's was more like a deep belly laugh.

Matthew approached the fence. His arm encircled Mary's. She flinched slightly at his touch as she was caught unawares of his presence. But once his warmth was felt, she melted into it.

Her head on his shoulder. Her eyes still on Maggie's form.

"How's she doing?" Matthew asked.

"She's clean so far. But she is slow. We'll have to see." Mary said in a whisper. The gentle canter of the horse rounding the course the only other sound.

Matthew decided to wait until her pupil had completed the course to tell her about Peter's arrival with her parents.

"Ok…one more…" Mary talking her student through the last gate. "Yes. Stuck it."

She turned to Matthew, a thrilled look on her face. "Clean. She ran clean." So happy, she gave him a quick kiss. "I'll be back. I need to go see her…"

And before he knew it she was gone. No time to tell her what was transpiring in another part of the fair.

He could tell Edith however. She should know as well.

He sighed and made a move towards his mother and sister in law. He had a couple of surprises up his sleeve for the coming week. Some that he hoped would make Mary's relax as she eased back into competition herself. He had no idea how her father deciding to introduce his illegitimate child would go down with Mary. He knew she was curious about Peter. Felt terrible the little one had lost his mother and wanted to make him a part of their family. But also worried about her mother's choice to remain away from Downton.

Now it seemed, at least on the surface, that Cora had chosen to be part of the Crawley family gathering.

Whatever it was he and Mary would find out soon enough.

"Hullo Georgie boy." Matthew took his son from Edith's grasp. Bent down and kissed his mother's cheek. "Thanks for coming."

"It's always fun." Isobel responded, Jeremy bouncing on her knees up and down. "He's such a very good boy. Aren't you a sweet boy…." And she gave her grandson a big squeezy hug.

Matthew smiled it utter gratitude that his mother had come around to this new family he had created with Mary. She still thought it was too soon. And that he had hurt Lavinia unnecessarily. But what was done was done. As far as he could tell Lavinia was happy in Perth. And not just 'tell Matthew I'm happy because I don't want to admit otherwise happy.' He actually believed she had found a new life. They had spoken at length one day earlier in the summer when he told her about the birth of the twins. She informed him she had found someone new after she had taken a Pinnacles sandboarding excursion tour with some friends. And was now of the mind to settle permanently in Perth. He had rung off for the first time without the sense of guilt that usually overwhelmed any conversation with his ex-wife.

"Mother would you mind taking both twins for a bit? I need to speak to Edith." He handed his son back to Edith.

He bent down to get Jeremy and whispered in her ear. "Robert has brought Peter. I think he'll want the family to meet. I'll tell you more later."

"Absolutely." Isobel got up briskly and made a move to put Jeremy in the double pram. "We need to get back for our nap in any place."

Matthew handed his mother the keys to his car. "I'll meet you at Crawley House in a bit."

Edith looked a bit wary at the private look exchanged between mother and son but handed George over to be placed in the pram beside his brother.

Isobel nodded and made her way across the grounds towards the gravel parkway.

One more kiss apiece and they were off. Matthew turned to his sister in law. "Come with me."

"What's this all about?" Edith asked as they walked towards the house. "Tell me now Matthew. Is anything wrong?"

"No." He said, stopping to talk. "No no…" He pushed some hair across his forehead. "It's just I saw your father and mother together when I arrived. They were with Peter walking towards the big Lebanon cedar. She was holding his hand."

"Oh my God." Edith's hands pushed against her cheeks. "Really? Mama?"

Matthew nodded. "I think they'll want to talk to all of you."

"What about Mary?"

"I'll tell her when she's done with Maggie. You go ahead." He could see she was shivering.

"I can't believe Mama is willing to do this." Edith's eyes looked into the distance. "It still seems so unreal you know. What Papa did. I would never have thought he'd betray our trust like this. Create such a mess. And this poor little boy is the result. He just moved on and left Peter's mother to get on with it. Give her some money and that's enough? And now she's dead. He's got no mother. No father."

Matthew paused and then spoke softly. "What Robert did is unforgivable even if he did try to help out in his own fashion. Anything he does is going to sound or be taken as self-serving. I know that more than most."

"And we're just to get on with it aren't we?" Edith rolled her eyes. "I don't know if I can honestly. I know Sybil's the one who's been openly hostile but I am struggling."

"You have to." Matthew said. "You have to get through it. Cora is doing her best to do just that. And look at all the family Peter has now. We can't change the past. And we can't undo our mistakes."

Edith started to walk again towards the big house. "We'll see you later?"

Matthew shook his head. "I'll fetch Mary and tell her to meet you near the house. I think it's a family affair from then on. I'll go back to Crawley House with Mother." He scrunched his face. "Too many people. Might bother him. I'll meet him at another time."

Edith nodded. "Yes. He'll be in our lives for now on. A little brother. How astonishing."

And she turned away and continued towards Downton. Matthew walked back towards the stables.

XX

Mary saw the family sitting at one of the picnic tables arranged by the fair organizers. Cora, Edith and Sybil on one side. Robert standing. Peter on the other side sitting next to his parents she assumed.

A family tableau she had never thought to see.

When Matthew had told her she had trouble digesting it. She had been so focused on Maggie's excellent run that her head was still full of times and faults. He had to say it again. "Your mother is here with Peter. She came with Robert. I think they want you to meet them near the house."

Mary gripped his arm. "Here? All together?"

"I know it's a lot. Do you need a minute? I'm sure they can wait." Matthew moved closer and placed Mary's head on his shoulder. Her arms encircled his.

"Maybe just a minute."

They stayed close, Matthew's lips brushing her forehead. Giving her all the time she needed.

And now she was walking towards the table. Sybil turned and waved.

So did Robert.

"Hello." His voice was nervous. "Come and meet Peter and his adoptive parents Daphne and Michael Taylor. This is my eldest daughter Mary."

Peter was finishing off a hot dog but looked up at the new visitor.

Mary gave her best smile to the child. "Hello Peter." She shook hands with Jane's sister and her husband. She saw Peter lean over and whisper something. Daphne nodded and then the young boy turned to Mary and said, "Are you my sister too?"

"Yes I am." Mary answered affirmatively. Would he have more questions, she wondered? Questions she could not answer about how and why they were brother and sister? Or half siblings? Or why his father didn't want him living here with them? Her head could spin with all the possibilities a child could ask. They were an inquisitive lot when they wanted to be.

But they also took things in stride much better than adults. Peter just smiled and nodded, proud he got the answer correct.

So Mary moved on, "I'm very glad you're here. Are you having a good time?"

He bobbed his head quickly. "This hot dog was smashing." His eyes darted over to another stall selling toffee apples.

Sybil noticed first. "Would you like a toffee?" She then looked to his mother to see if it was alright to take the child for a sweet.

Daphne said brightly, "Let's go with Sybil shall we?" She reached out to take her son's hand.

Peter smiled broadly and scrambled off the bench.

"Maybe later you'd like to take a pony ride? We have some set up at the Stables." Mary offered. "I can meet up with you after you finish your treat and walk you over."

"Thank you." Daphne answered for Peter who had run ahead with Sybil. "He's having a grand time. We need to leave by early afternoon to get home in time to put him to bed." She took her husband's hand and followed.

Once they were gone Mary sat down across from Edith and Cora. Robert slumped into the open seat next to his daughter.

No one spoke. Edith tried to start a conversation to end the awkward silence. "He's a bright little boy. And so very polite."

Robert heaved a heavy sigh and put his head in his hands. Cora stared straight ahead.

Edith glanced over at Mary, shrugging helpless to know what to say. Mary didn't have any suggestions.

How does one heal such a breach as this?

XX

"In the end we just sat there for a while longer until Mama had to join the other organizers for an awards ceremony. Edith stayed with Papa, God bless her… I couldn't. I walked with Peter and his parents to the Stables and led him around on one of the loaned-out ponies for the fair. He had a good time. We then rejoined Papa and he took them back to the train station."

Mary was feeding George in his high chair. The little one's mouth open, ready for some more mushy bananas.

Matthew sipped his water, seated at the kitchen island, and listening to Mary recount the afternoon's events. Isobel napped in the guest bedroom.

"I finally managed to get Mama aside after it was all over. Papa was busy with your Sandy. He seems quite sensible I might add. Downton might be saved after all." She gave a tired smile.

"That is the plan." Matthew said, walking over to Jeremy in his sit me up chair. He lifted his son up to exchange him for George who was done eating.

"And Sybil seemed quite smitten by him." Mary added. "I last saw her walking with him towards the pond, deep in conversation."

"Well no harm in that right?" Matthew sat down with George. "He's a good bloke. And Tom did tell me they were seeing other people."

"No…" Mary shrugged. "No harm…." She really didn't want to talk about Sybil.

"How is your mother?" Matthew hesitated to ask this. Maybe she didn't want to talk about that either.

Mary replied though, "Carrying on. Isn't that the phrase? It's supposedly what we English do best when the going gets tough? We carry on and get on with thing."

Ironically Matthew had said much the same to Edith earlier that same day.

She looked at Matthew. He so very much wanted to take away her pain. She could see that in his eyes.

But it wasn't up to him. Or her for that matter. Her mother made it very clear she knew her own mind and she was going to go about this in her own way.

"I asked her why she joined Papa to meet Peter. She didn't have to after all. And she said it wasn't Peter's fault. Adult problems. And she saw no reason he couldn't be shown all the love he deserves. It's quite astonishing really. I'm not sure I could have done that."

Mary wiped off Jeremy's face and took him out of the high chair. He was fussing a bit, so she put him on her shoulder, whispering endearments and gently stroking his back with her hand.

Matthew quirked an eyebrow. "Oh… I think you could."

Mary loved him all the more for saying that. She said, "I'll put him down for a nap." She gave his shoulder a squeeze as she walked past.

It had been such a long day. A good day in many ways. Maggie had won second prize in the junior show jumping. The pony rides had been a big success. She had arranged with the parents of three children to take the two older ones for lessons.

And she had met her brother.

How extraordinary.

Cora was right that none of this was the child's fault. Her mother's patient calm with Peter amazed Mary. She was attentive to his wishes. Mary had a great deal of fun leading him around the livery yard on the Shetland pony.

Asking her later how she did it. They were sitting inside the library at Downton as the fair winded down. Cora replied, "He's just a little boy."

"Does this mean you're taking Papa back? That you're going to move back here?" Mary didn't know whether she wanted that to happen or not.

"I don't see that one has to do with the other. At least that's how I choose to see it. As long as we're together as a family, in whatever form that may take, it's good for Peter to know he has lots of people who love him." She pat Mary's knee. "You were very good yourself. I can't wait until the twins are older and we can take them pony riding as well."

"So you're not moving back." Mary slumped a bit on the divan. Why did she want it so? If her mother was happy the way things were, she should accept it. It was childish of her to demand her parents stay together just because that's the way things have always been.

"We'll see. Has Matthew spoken to you of my plans?" Cora inquired.

Mary sat back up. "A bit. He said you wanted to speak to him."

"I have made a business model for Matthew's appraisal. I want him to invest in a venture to open Downton more fully to the public as both a tourist spot and a venue for concerts or business conferences. We have the cottages. The gardens. There is all sorts of possibilities. Once I've got my figures and facts organized I'm going to present it to him. So you see, my dear girl, I'm not going anywhere. But neither does that mean I'm moving back. At least not right now. I want to take all this one step at a time. You must be patient."

Mary was stunned. "Does Papa know? Is he going to agree? Matthew's been trying to get him to do just that since he first started to work for Grantham. Papa's ever been opposed. People trampling around the grounds, he'd grumble. Getting rubbish everywhere."

"He'll adapt or perish." Cora said, somewhat sarcastically. "Just as I have done for his sake. It's the least he can do."

Mary put Jeremy in the upstairs bedroom crib. He was already fast asleep.

She walked back down to the living room. Matthew had George tucked up in his arms, seated in a rocking chair. He was reading a mystery novel.

"Let me have him."

Mary took George from Matthew's arms and took him upstairs to the crib beside his brother. For the time being both were asleep.

She quietly closed the door and returned downstairs.

Mary sat down next to Matthew on the foot rest. "So this plan of Mama's? Do you think it's a go?"

"She told you then? Thought she might." Matthew shifted to find a more comfortable spot. "I do. Not only because it's the right idea. But because she's the one to do it. She knows the Abbey. She knows the land and the neighbours. She's taken the initiative to shadow another operation guided by the National Trust. I have great hopes for it. So yes."

"I'm glad. She needs something to succeed." Mary idly rubbed his knee. "It was just a surprise to hear her say she was going to be working there."

"I have another surprise." Matthew's eyes twinkled.

"What's that?" She gave him a suspicious side eye. "I'm quite sure I've had enough for one day."

"I have arranged a house for us to stay in while you are riding in the Berkshire Horse Trials." He said. "There are spec houses available for clients to stay in when they're looking for a house in a particular area. The estate agents keep them open. I called a friend in Reading. She's found one quite near the course. We could go a day early. Just the two of us." He mentally begged her to agree. He wanted nothing more than to have some time alone with Mary. Do nothing but make love and eat.

"I thought we were going to drive back and forth?" Mary considered Matthew's idea. "Jerry was going to stay over and take care of Jellybean."

"And exhaust yourself in the process? I don't think that's a winning plan."

"But the twins…."

"Will be well taken care of and spoiled by my mother. She's agreed to stay through next week. And Iris will still be here until she takes up the post with the Bradford's."

"We couldn't…" Mary bit her lip mischievously. "Could we?" Oh she wanted to be alone with Matthew so much. She kept her hand on his knee.

"We've had no time to ourselves in seven months. They can get by without us for a few days. When you go back to riding full time it's going to be a lot more of this." Matthew tried to persuade her.

"True. And it's closer than ever. I've got two more events I'm considering before the end of the year."

"And I…" He moved closer to her. "I want to be alone with you." He kissed her. "No twin loves. No parents. No nurses or sisters." His lips lingered, pulled on her lower lip. "Just us. For a whole day before you compete. No one else."

He gathered Mary up into his arms. They cuddled on the rocking chair.

"Keep doing this and you'll win me over." Mary softly laughed.

"That's my intention." Matthew nuzzled her neck with soft kisses. "I want to do this forever and ever…"

"Me too, my darling. Me too." Mary gave in completely to Matthew's tenderness. At least until she heard George screaming through the baby monitor.

She sighed and got up. "When do we leave again?"

XX

 _Some alone time at last for our weary parents in the next chapter. Mary's competitive drive is returning and we'll see how they cope in the long run with a crazy schedule of events, work, and family. More of Peter as well as he's brought more into the lives of the Crawley family._


	38. Chapter 38:Back in the Saddle

XX

Mary called out, "Anyone there?"

A woman popped her head around the corner. "Here to register?"

Mary bobbed her head affirmatively. "Sorry so early. I wanted to get in and then get on with things." She really meant she wanted to get all this over with so she could join Matthew at the rented house on the edge of Reading. They had left separately that morning. She had kissed each twin good bye. Thanked Isobel and was off before Matthew. She had to follow Jerry to the grounds of the horse show and see to the registering, collection of badges, and all the other minutia of riding in the Berkshire Trials. Matthew was to meet her at the house. He had given directions and she put them in her GPS on the mobile.

Once at the grounds she finished the registration and joined Jerry in the horse stalls.

"Settling in is she?" Mary brushed her hand gently against her horse.

"Raring to go I'd say." Jerry confirmed.

"I'll give her a run today. And be back early tomorrow." Mary moved towards the tack to bridle and saddle the horse.

"Righty-o." Her stable manager confirmed cheerfully. "I'll go get her feed out of the lorry.

Mary hardly heard him. She was talking to Jellybean. Horse and rider communing about the big show tomorrow afternoon.

XX

Matthew sat on the upper balcony of the rented house. It overlooked the countryside with the city of Reading in the distance with the tower of the Town Hall visible over the tree tops. He was sketching the pond just below with some ducks preening their feathers and enjoying the late fall sunshine.

He took a swallow of the West Berkshire pale ale he had picked up at a local shop. It was a light bitter. Good quality session ale. He liked supporting local businesses wherever he traveled. And it was appropriate to the work he had just completed yesterday. One of the applied business models he received was for a new craft brewery in Downton Village. He put it in the file alongside Cora's as one to be considered seriously. He was sorting through all the email applications he had been receiving over the past three weeks into essentially files of 'absolutely no effing way,' 'maybe,' and 'yes certainly.' When he got back from Berkshire early next week he'd make his final decisions along with the bank manager assigned to his project.

Mary had yet to arrive at the house. Although they had said the entire day before her competition began would be theirs both had realized their lives were so busy and unpredictable it probably would not come off. And it did not.

She had needed to drive separately to make sure Jellybean adjusted properly to the strange stall at the Horse Trials. To be there to calm her down. See that Jerry had found everything he needed. Introduce herself to the officials.

None of which she could avoid. Matthew understood.

Just as Mary understood that he needed to stay at the office the previous day dealing with his client's portfolios and polishing off a spreadsheet he needed to submit to Mika in the London office evaluating the profitability of some potential commercial properties CB wanted to consider. It was tedious. Dull. The kind of work he did not miss when he was on the leave of absence with the twins. But the sooner it was done the earlier he could leave the next day.

It had all worked out. Now that he was waiting for Mary at the rented house outside of Reading, he knew the hard slog was done. For the next month or so he could concentrate on the three investments he would personally see to fruition. That was the exciting aspect of his work life now. Using his money, his experience, his expertise to help others fund their dreams.

She was expected any moment now. He glanced at his mobile. She had texted she was on her way.

And then their vacation would truly begin.

Isobel had phoned that the twins were a little fussy even after she had fed them. Cora was in the rocking chair with George while Isobel walked the floor with Jeremy. She thought Matthew could help.

He knew what she meant. He started to sing. " _Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what's on the other side…_ " And by the time he got to " _… the lovers, the dreamers and me….La-da-da, de-da-da-do"_ he could hear silence on the other end. Isobel had clicked off and a few minutes later texted they were asleep.

They had developed quite the repertoire of songs the twins liked before napping. He had called up Mary plenty of times in the past weeks to have her sing " _Hush, little baby, don't say a word …Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird..."_ when she was at work and he was home.

Anything to get them to sleep.

And so now he chilled with the beer and his sketch book. The lighting was perfect. He was experimenting with some coloured pencils and building up the colours so as to make them more intense. The grass was particularly difficult as he was blending blues, yellows, and greens to give them texture and complexity.

Mary had encouraged him to experiment outside his comfort zone of black and white sketches. The work so far was not up to his standards, but it was getting better.

And he was just so happy to be able to be alone with Mary. He really needed some alone time with his wife. Just themselves. They'd have the whole rest of the day and night. Mary went this morning to see to Jellybean and confirm registration so she wouldn't have to the next day. She trusted Jerry implicitly to care for the horse overnight.

He squinted down on the page, delicately using his thumb to crush and spread the shades of blue across the background.

"That's beautiful." A warm voice spoke from behind. "We should take a walk down by the pond later."

Mary's voice close to his ear. He had not even known she arrived.

"Darling." Matthew turned to caress her lips with his own. "Thank you. Are you done for the day?" He put down the pencil and closed his sketch book.

Mary's arm slid around Matthew's shoulder. He clasped it and brought her down into the chair on his lap. Her skin felt so soft, so warm. The air was chilly in the late November morning.

She gave him the bad news first. "We've been invited to the dinner tonight."

Mary felt Matthew's disappointment as the pressure of his hands loosened around her waist.

"As a winner from last year …" She started.

"They want you there. Of course."

"I did warn you this might happen."

He kissed her shoulder. "Of course. We can make it an annual event as you win so many times."

Mary laughed, pleased Matthew understood the responsibilities of her chosen career.

"We can cut out early I'm sure. Freddie Simmons is chair this year. He's an old friend. We competed years ago but he broke his pelvis in a fall and had to retire early." Mary said.

Matthew shuddered. The embrace became tighter. It was a fact of being an equestrian sustaining injuries, both minor and life threatening.

"How's he doing now?"

"He has braces and crutches. It's not been an easy recovery. I'll introduce you." Mary brushed a stray blonde lock away from his forehead.

Matthew gripped her body in response to her touch. He groaned deliciously. "But that's not for hours correct?"

His contact became more intense. Needy. Lips stroking along the nape of Mary's neck. Nuzzling.

"Hours…" Mary lied. And then told him, "we have about an hour or so." She shifted her legs, moving so she straddled Matthew, feeling his arousal. Making her body spike with erogenous need.

"Plenty of time..." Matthew whispered, all hers.

"Come inside." Mary's heated voice. "I want to rip your shirt off right now." Her fingernails at the scratched the fabric of his t-shirt.

Matthew's deeply satisfied chuckle, like a decadent piece of chocolate, met her ears. "I'll follow your lead, my darling." He dropped his hands to her rear and lifted her up out of the seat and into his arms, swinging her legs around so that he could carry her up and into the house.

Mary, taken by surprise, giggled furiously as she was swept inside. Her eyes soulfully urging his next move. His hands snaked down her ass, feeling the tightness of the breeches she wore while riding Jellybean earlier in the day. He wrapped his hands against each of her rounded cheeks, panting in anticipation.

His hands fumbled with the buttons and zipper. Matthew wanted her so bad. Her taste. To taste every part of her body. To consume and be consumed by her.

He flung the breeches across room in his haste to free his hands again to take off her shirt. Once free, he buried his face in her breasts. Kissing, dragging on each one. Mary pulled him in closer and closer. He edged up to her face. They started to kiss. Slithering, slippery. Exquisite kisses. His tongue glided around and around her mouth. Mary gripped his lower lip with her teeth and drew it into her mouth. Tightly as if she intended to bruise. To hurt.

She wanted to hurt him in the most beautiful of ways. To make demands on his body that would leave her satiated and hungry simultaneously.

Matthew's hands roamed back to her ass. He gripped each cheek tight. Massaging. Manipulating. He groaned deep in his mouth as his shaft hardened and the need grew to plunge it inside. His tongue deep inside her mouth to compensate. Feeling her palette. Her teeth. Down her throat.

They groaned in ecstatic unison.

Mary broke off kissing to tug his t-shirt off. "Did you go rowing today?" Her voice winded as she flung the shirt on the floor and began to kiss along his upper body.

"I did." He managed to reply despite his mind totally occupied by Mary's kisses.

Mary's eyes flashed wide as she replied. She lifted her head, her tongue rolling deliciously around her lips. "I thought so. Your chest is tightly muscled. Just the way I like it." She sinuously slid each hand down his chest. She felt his breath, hot and heaving. His chest hairs bristle at her touch.

She bent down and undid his trousers. She felt the hardness. She wanted it released. She wanted it inside her. Once they were both naked Matthew lifted her up again and cradling her in his arms they moved towards the sofa. The bed was upstairs and he wanted her too badly. He lay her down on the cushions and moved atop her. She spread her legs open and he entered upon a shattering gasp of pleasure from Mary's lips. They locked fingers and rhythmically moved as one to give each as much pleasure as possible.

"Deeper," She moaned shallow breaths in his ear. "Fuck me Deeper…"

Her mouth screamed of pleasure as he bucked and thrust and pressed her harder and harder. He could not stop. Matthew's grunts became pulsing. His concentration focused solely on total satisfaction. He thrust deep several more times at her encouragement, her shouts of joyful abandon. She came on a particularly long, slow thrust of his and it shattered her body. It was afire. Intense and long. The moment of crowning stupored her mind and stiffened her limbs. Her toes curled. She sank down into the cushions to recover.

His release came on the apex of hers. Even as his arms shook from the exertion, he held onto her. She could see the blood vessels bulge in his biceps as he willed himself to stay in place until his peak passed. He had thrust hard into her body.

She loved still feeling the lingering effects. She'd probably be a bit bruised from his exertions and bucking.

They collapsed against each other. Both kept their eyes closed. Letting the sensations engulf them. Their thirst quenched momentarily.

"Oh God. That was good." Mary finally spoke after a few minutes. "I'll have more of that mister."

She leaned over his body, her leg stroking his own. Up and down. Making him want her again and again.

"Whenever you want." He replied, his eyes half lidded and luscious.

"Except for right now…" And she reluctantly got up. "We've got about an hour to get ready for the dinner."

Matthew couldn't take his eyes off his wife's body. She was so lithe. So lovely. He reached out to touch the s-shape of her waistline. She was always beautiful to him. When she was first known to him. When she was nine months pregnant and she could barely stand to have him be in same room as she when she dressed. He loved her so much. She had started to train her body again as soon as the doctor approved. Running. Cardio workout. Crunches. Not just for looks, of course. Though she'd admit she wanted to fit back into the little black dress she had brought for the occasion tonight. But to regain her strength for riding. Her skills.

And here they were to prove it. That she was as good as before. If not better. He couldn't wait to see her astride Jellybean tomorrow.

"You are so beautiful." Matthew said tenderly.

She reached out and caressed his cheek. A cheeky smile across her face. "Thank you. But it's still not going to get you out of getting up and dressed."

He laughed heartily. "Alright. Alright." Matthew reached out a hand. "Help me up."

Mary clasped his own. Together with they made their way up the stairs. Naked bodies entwined. Not bothering to dress again as each needed to don their fine togs for the events of the evening.

XX

"So," Matthew's companion to the left continued to speak, "I know some very good hunter and jumper riders whose flatwork really is dressage. But I know far more whose flatwork consists of walk-trot-canter in a hunter frame..."

Matthew suppressed a yawn as best he could. He tried to nod more. To feign interest, he hoped. Mary had been taken away by Freddie and some of his colleagues to meet some of her competitors. She had slid lingering fingertips along his suited arm, mouthing, "I'll be back later" and blew him a kiss.

And he was still here. Listening to Mr. Self-Important Horse Expert tell him all about why dressage is much more important in European riding circles than in America.

Or something like that…. Matthew's eyes drooped shut again.

Mr. Self Important didn't even notice. "All of their competitors, even at the lower divisions... could have ridden a solid 1st level dressage test in a heartbeat. The horses went in much more of a frame, were far more engaged, and the riders rode more vertically and less forward than here…."

Matthew's mind drifted away. Back to earlier. When it was just he and Mary. Alone and together. Making love. No one but themselves.

Paradise. Utter paradise. It reminded him of their time in Tahoe. When they had put the world at bay. Precious time to connect. And this time to reconnect. My God he loved his boys. But he needed this time away. To touch. To feel. To spend hours doing nothing but make love to Mary.

They'd cut out soon from this party. Mary had promised. She needed to meet up with some friends. Suss out some of the competitors. And then they'd go.

Matthew got up to refill his glass. He went to say something polite to his seat companion but the gentleman had already turned his attention to a younger lady to his right.

Matthew escaped. He moved to the bar to get another Glenfiddich and scan the room. Freddie walked slowly towards him, leaning forward to put pressure on his crutches to move his braced legs forward.

"Would you like one?" Matthew shook his tumbler.

"Won't say no." Freddie replied gratefully. "Had a good chinwag with the old chair, don't you know." And he imitated the pompous public school speech of Sir Percy Babbington, baronet. "He did drone on."

"I'm glad I'm not the only one." Matthew took another gulp of the whisky. "I had absolutely no idea what was being said. It's like another language."

"You'll have to learn some of it I reckon." Freddie replied. "Now that you're a part of it all. Most of us lot are okay. Some are insufferable. All of us though are horse mad."

Matthew grinned. "So I gather."

Freddie turned serious. "We were all a bit worried about Mary, you know. She's had so many ups and downs. Diamond going lame. Her quitting. Then coming back and winning here. Only to quit again because she married some bloke she hardly knew and was already preggers with twins no less."

He sized up Matthew again, having only been introduced to the husband and no time to talk.

"And now?" Matthew queried calmly. Mary had warned him they were a close group of people but this astonished him. That someone like Freddie, who had fallen off his horse in competition and had a long, painful recovery, was worried about Mary. Not like a jealous ex- wannabe boyfriend. But family. Her horse mad family. And he was an interloper.

Freddie's mouth turned up at the corner in a half smile. "You're not half bad. I think she's done alright for herself."

Matthew tilted his glass in a salute. "Thank you." He looked around the room and saw Mary in a conversation with three of her competitors. And then, as if she felt his eyes fall upon hers, she looked over.

Their eyes met. She gave him a radiant smile. Just for him.

And then she turned back to speak to one of the group.

"Do you think she'll win?" Freddie asked.

Matthew's mouth pursed in thought and then answered with total conviction. "She'll give everything. That's for sure." He looked back towards Mary. "She doesn't like second best."

XX

"This…" Matthew snuggled up to Mary who was under the blanket with him, "this is much much better." He molded his body around hers. His fingertips brushing away strands of her hair so he could kiss  
her neck.

"I hope you weren't too bored out of your skull." Mary said sympathetically. "I didn't mean to leave you on your own for so long."

"It's was fine. I know you had a lot of catching up to do. Freddie and I ended up having a few drinks at the bar. But I am very glad to be back here." He nuzzled her neckline with kisses.

The rented house's lower level included an outdoor living area. They were taking advantage of it before settling into the upstairs bedroom.

She leaned into Matthew's chest and rested her head against his shoulder. "You're all mine. All night."

"All night." He sighed in utter contentment. He had stoked the outdoor firepit adjacent to the cushioned bench upon which they cuddled. A warm chunky weaved blanket kept out any other chill from the November night. Mary wrapped inside with him.

Utter bliss.

"I think we should build one of these at the House." Matthew said. "Next year maybe when we put on the addition."

"Addition? Did we agree to that?" Mary tasted the wine she had poured before snuggling next to Matthew. "I think I'd remember. You did say you'd not go off on your own anymore with these house ideas."

Matthew's lips pressed together. "Uh…" His face turned a bright shade of pink as he realized the truth.

Mary decided she was in too good a mood to create an argument. She said instead, "are your eyes darting back and forth. I'm too comfortable to look. But that's a dead giveaway you know."

Matthew had to laugh despite being caught out. "You're right. I didn't say. I meant to consult with you. I would have of course before I started anything."

Mary elbowed his ribs. "Oh of course…" She replied playfully sarcastic.

Matthew buried his face in her hair. "How do you put up with me?"

She nestled closer, shrugging her shoulders. "You're good for sex."

Said so matter of factly Matthew had to burst out laughing. "I'm glad I erm.. measure up."

"Oh you do more than do that." Mary slid her hand up and down his thigh, feeling his arousal against her derrière. His hands roamed around to her torso, feeling under her shirt and cupping his hand under her bra to feel the softness of her breasts. He pinched her nipple gently until it peaked.

But before they could take it any further Matthew's mobile rang.

Mary jumped at the sound.

"It's Mother." He gently lifted Mary up slightly so he could reach the table behind him to grab the smartphone. "The boys might be restless."

Mary glanced at the time as Matthew tilted his phone. "It's very late. I hope nothing is wrong." She sat up. "Jeremy's cough might have come back."

He clicked. "Hello Mother," he said. And then nodded. "Of course we want to say good night." He paused. "No. No you didn't wake us. We were…" Matthew hesitated. "Uh… We were just…" He looked helplessly at Mary. "We were having a cup of tea..." He ended unconvincingly to Mary's eternal amusement. She rolled her eyes dramatically and smiled.

Matthew, blushing furiously, handed out the mobile to Mary. Isobel turned the camera so they could see George in his crib, reaching out for the device.

"They just won't settle down until their mummy and daddy say good-night." Isobel's voice warbled cheerfully speaking to the babies. "Isn't that right?"

Matthew grinned as Isobel switched the camera so that the twins could see both parents as they moved close together. Mary blew soft kisses. "Night Night sweetie pies. Good night Georgie. Good night Jeremy."

Matthew's voice lowered "Daddy loves you."

Mary wiped away a tear. "Mummy loves you."

They both blew more kisses and Isobel rang off. George's eyes were already closing, a silly grin on his face at hearing his parents voice.

Mary leaned her head back on Matthew's shoulder. "I think Jeremy looked fine." She was reassured that the cold had not returned.

Matthew gazed lovingly at his wife. "You are such a good mother. I told you that you would be."

"Stop it." Mary reddened. "I do almost everything wrong. I always think I'm a terrible parent."

Matthew drew her close and kissed her. "And here I was thinking I was the only one who doubts their parenting skills every day. I guess every parent does that."

"We'll just have to muddle through together. With all the help we can muster. I don't know that we do enough to thank everyone."

"We should think up some kind of thank you." Matthew agreed. "Let's give it a think."

Mary nodded. But then Matthew winked mischievously. "But not right now." And he extended his arm. "Right now I want to take my wife to bed."

Mary reached out and accepted his hand. She lifted herself off the bench and into his arms. A deep kiss followed. Mary moaned deliciously into his mouth. She hungrily reached out for his tongue and drew it down her throat.

Mary drew away. Matthew's eyes remained closed, his lips half parted. Remembering the lingering feel of her lips, her mouth upon his.

They opened, his eyes dilated pools of black desire. "Come…" His voice still hoarse from the kiss.

And they rushed inside and up the stairs. Taking advantage of the night. Of being together.

More hot kisses followed as they disrobed. Falling onto the bed Mary could feel Matthew's weight on top of her. He slid inside and she tightened her inner folds around his hardness. The pressure making her groan in satisfaction. Her hands slipped around to his backside. She scored fingernail marks along each cheek as she gripped hard and pushed him further inside to satisfy her desire.

Matthew's shuddering release came in waves as he thrust hard. They were both in a stupor as Mary's peak rose and shattered her body.

He slipped out and rested beside Mary. His body drenched in sweat despite the coolness of the air outside.

Mary curled her body around her husband's and drew the duvet over them, neither wanting to move from the cocooned protective warmth of the other.

They slept deep and sound.

XX

Matthew's eyes never left Mary's. She was taking the last obstacle. A parallel oxer with two rails. Jellybean was a spirited animal but Mary guided her easily over the set. They made their way across the finish.

She immediately turned her head to look at the time. She removed her hat and helmet and bit her lip.

Matthew looked at the clock as well and grimaced. Mary had needed to put on a bit more pace to have any chance of bettering the time of the current first place holder. She had no faults. But the time was too long. She was .14 shorter in time.

She wouldn't be happy at all about that.

Matthew curdled the catalogue in his grip. He thought she was marvelous. Rode like the wind. But he knew she'd do nothing but criticize her performance. He was still learning how much he should just be there to listen without making comments or trying to minimize her self-directed anger. He made his way down the steps of the viewing stands and towards the stables. He had his badge on and they let him through.

"Mary." He walked over to where Jerry was rubbing down the horse. Mary was speaking with an official. She had been the last rider and so he was probably telling her she finished second.

Mary looked up, a pensive smile on her face, as Matthew approached. "Second." She told him. "I should be pleased I know." She accepted the sweet kiss on his cheeks. "But I'm not. I won this last year. And I played it safe."

"You were clean. Not even a wobble." Matthew said.

"That's just why I'm pissed. I was so concerned about being clean that I gave up precious time." She flung off her gloves in disgust.

"Next time. You'll get it next time." Matthew tried to reassure.

Mary's eyes glared. "I should have had it this time. Jellybean was perfect. I hesitated."

Matthew didn't know what to say. He rubbed his hands along her arms. Trying to do something.

She was dejected.

Another voice then came from behind them. At the entrance of the stall.

"Lady Mary. I can find you another two yards."

They turned. A woman's voice. Matthew didn't know her.

Mary smiled. She turned to her husband and said, "Anna Smith." And turned back to the woman who now intended to coach her with a glean of determination in her eyes.

Anna nodded in Matthew's direction. And the two women began to walk towards the other.

XX

 _New beginnings here! Reviews are precious things. I hope you like this story. Careful tv/movie viewers will recognize a line... or a song ! haha_


	39. Chapter 39:Struggling To Make it Work

"Press harder with your seat." Anna advised in a commanding tone as Mary rode Jellybean across the enclosure behind Downton Stables. "Drive your horse forward while holding a steady contact." Anna demonstrated. Mary nodded and followed. They had set up several vertical jumps, oxers, and one hogsback three rail fence as a kind of makeshift course to put herself and Jellybean through their paces.

"At the same time lift your seat, get light in the saddle, close your legs." Anna was following along as Mary trotted past. She walked quickly around the gate to see how Jellybean landed.

"Are you looking at the top rail of the obstacle until it goes out of sight between the horse's ears?" Anna scrutinized Mary's style.

Mary stopped. "I look above the obstacle and let the horse determine when to jump."

"That's one way to do it of course." Anna was clipped. "But if you want to cut your time you need to count each delay. And letting the horse determine is a delay."

Mary pursed her lips but said nothing. Anna created winners. And that was what she wanted.

"Continue…" Anna waved her hand towards the next jump.

Mary led Jellybean around and pushed her towards the hogsback.

They cleared.

"Good …Good." Anna encouraged. "I think we'll be ready for Gloucestershire. But I think she brushed that last rail. Have to watch that."

Mary eased Jellybean to a stop. "She's a bit tight. I'm wondering if we need to call in the vet?"

"Let's give her once over when you rub her down." Anna walked over, stepping across some puddles. The weather had been rainy for several days cooping the horse up and restricting their training schedule. "It could be just the weather. We're all feeling a bit stiff."

Mary dismounted and took the horse by the reins. She talking soothing words as they walked back to her stall. "Good girl… you're such a good girl…"

"Did you watch those videos?" Anna came around the side of the stall. "The dressage? We really need to get you up to speed. If you hope to compete in the three day eventings this summer we need to put you and Jellybean through all the gaits. And choreograph a freestyle."

Mary knew quite well. She had received the email with recommendations to watch several you tube videos very closely as well as refresh her memory as to the required pre-choreographed tests which would be marked on a scale of 0 to 10.

But George had been fussy for the past several nights. And Mary had not finished watching. "I meant to …"

Anna's upward flick of her eyebrow was all Mary needed. Her coach was expensive and busy. She was one of the best and she was taking more time with Mary than her other riders because she believed Mary had the potential to go all the way.

"I'll do it tonight."

Anna nodded briskly. "See you do. I thought you said your husband was on board with all this. Can't he take care of the home front while you see this through?"

Mary said, "He's got his own responsibilities."

"But none more important at the moment, right?" Anna pointed out. "You are in prime condition. Jellybean's at her peak physical prowess. Everything else can wait."

Mary felt a thrill run up her spine. Anna really thought she had the potential to make it to the Olympics in 2020. Much sooner than she initially thought.

If her drive was enough.

Her training dedicated and thorough.

Matthew had promised to help. She would just have to remind him of it.

"I'll talk to him." She told her. "I'm sure he'll understand."

"Fine." Anna was already on to the next task. "Let's go into your office and map out our progress so far. I'll take you through what I want you to do while I'm away. And when I get back we can begin the dressage."

Mary followed Anna inside, her head spinning with all that was before her.

XX

"Did you end up going with Barnwell and Smith?" Matthew gazed over his mother in law's shoulder.

Cora sat at the laptop, opening up the Excel spreadsheet to input the latest unexpected cost overruns. The weather had played havoc with her schedule of refitting the back storage rooms to a professional office space for her staff of three. The furnishings had arrived to put in the saloon much to Robert's umbrage. He had huffed and puffed about it. And the pipe fitter and plumbers creating toilets and sinks for tourist use caused him to frown. The design team Cora hired had mapped out a tour route that allowed for maximum viewing of all the castle's high points but saved the old carpeting on wear and tear. Velvet ropes would keep everyone out of private areas of the Abbey but Robert disliked having to move them every time he wanted to get into the small library.

He grumbled under his breath, but said nothing.

At least Cora was living back at Downton now. Albeit in another wing entirely from their old shared bedroom. She rationalized she wanted to spend as much time as possible getting everything organized for the grand opening and so staying was the best course of action.

Matthew had worked closely with Cora along with English Heritage and National Trust officials to work out all the governmental paperwork required to open Downton as a stately home attraction. It had taken months but now they were in the last stages and could concentrate on the renovations to accommodate busses and tourists.

Working with Darby Ferndale from the National Trust in particular enabled Matthew to navigate the bureaucratic channels making it easier for Cora. Though technically just a financial partner in Downton Abbey Foundation he liked being a part of making this happen. Similar to Mary's Stables, he found himself eager to put his money and skills to good purpose. He had fronted the money for the makeover into a tourist attraction as part of the investment projects program he had started with the help of the Downton Community Council and the Downton Village Bank. Cora and Robert also shelled out a percentage on their own; though even that money came from the sale of the acreage around Mary's business to the younger Crawleys. The land had been sold on the promise that it would never be used for any other commercial enterprises other than horse training facilities or other environmentally friendly and sustaining ventures. Indeed all of the businesses he was funding were local and would be useful to the community where he now resided and raised his family.

Matthew knew that was most probably the estate would eventually be sold to a private individual or government agency upon Robert's demise if he not agree to run it. Mary was the inheritor of the estate, Robert had told them so. The title was Peter's but the land and the house were Mary's. But she had her own business, her own career to consider first. And depending upon when such an unfortunate event would occur, Robert's death would mean that Matthew would step in to run Downton's farms and business interests. He realized the longer he stayed here, the more attached he was becoming to it, and the less daunting the concept of inheriting and running Downton became in his mind.

Downton was secure one way or the other.

And Matthew took pride in being a small part of that success.

He leaned down to scan the figures.

Cora answered him, "Yes. Mr. Barnwell's son now runs the business alone. He just keeps the old name. But he's an excellent craftsman. I told him I didn't want some garish front counter that would stand out like a sore thumb amidst all the period furnishings in the saloon and look what he's produced."

She turned the laptop so Matthew could see the beautiful oak reception center that Sam Barnwell built to Cora's specifications. "I wanted it to blend in and wind around the corner from the entrance hall with room for one or two employees to easily move around from behind the counter. He's delivering it in pieces tomorrow and will set it all up by the end of the week."

Matthew nodded approvingly. "When do you think you will open?"

"We're setting a date for early June."

Matthew was silent.

"Not too close to the boy's birthday of course." Cora hastened to add. "I do want to have a picnic party for them if you and Mary will let me. Unless you've got plans at Crawley House?"

Matthew shook his head. "No. No plans." He left it at that. "I'd plan for a mid-June opening. I can meet with Darby and see where the Trust stands."

"I couldn't have done it without her help. I know she wants to get her hands on the estate eventually but that's far in the future. If it happens at all." Cora looked at her son in law carefully. She knew his life was a current juggling act of his own businesses, the two babies, and Mary's career. Would he really want to take on the running of such a large estate?

"One step at a time Cora." Matthew replied with only a slight hesitation to his voice. "It's all I can do right now."

His tense mouth showed the strain he was under, but was unwilling to divulge any more. Cora let it go.

"If you've got it under control here, I'll let you at it." He stood up, making ready to go. He reached for his key fob in his jacket pocket.

"Thank you, Matthew. I know you'll be happy when Mary returns home. When is she expected?"

He shrugged perfunctorily. "She's not sure. A day or two. But she'll be off again to go with Anna to compete ...uh" He struggled to remember "somewhere in the Lake District and then with Maggie down to Stamford for a junior show."

"And the birthday?" Cora asked warily. "She'll be here right?"

He nodded swiftly to assuage that fear. "Yes. Yes. Of course. We're both looking forward to spending a few days together just as a family. I hardly know where she is these days. Anna wants her to either ride or watch in practically every horse competition from here to Scotland. She's even talking about a trip to Canada later this summer. Just the two of them. Work related Anna says." He tried not to sound petulant. Or bitter. He wanted Mary to succeed as much as her trainer.

Matthew left by the front door, groaning as he saw who was texting, and shoved the mobile back in his pocket. David was a master at the craft of brewing beer but was also inclined to believe the universe was at his beck and call. He texted and voice mailed Matthew ten or twelve times a day asking about the availability of funds for more and more ideas that would enhance his restaurant but was nowhere on the originally agreed to model.

He spent the rest of the day meeting with David and the bank manager trying to find an accommodation to David's needs without indulging his extravagances. Then back home to relieve Emily of twin responsibility. Mary had checked in that she and Anna had made it to Stoneleigh Park, Warwickshire for the British Dressage Championships. She was not competing but getting ideas for her own choreography and sizing up the competition. As such they would be working all week end.

Of course.

Matthew pulled into the drive at Crawley House. Once inside the house he heard the boys playing in the downstairs nursery. He texted Mary back that they all loved and missed her very much along with a selfie taken with the twins, George's mouth bright red from consuming all the strawberries left out as a snack.

XX

Mary received the text and picture as she was in the viewing stands at the Hartpury Arena watching the freestyle Gold championship competition. She smiled but closed the smartphone to concentrate on the talented rider in the arena. She was not going to freestyle herself for a year out two but wanted to gather step sequence ideas she'd later incorporate into a routine she was putting together for Jellybean.

They were to attend the after party and mingle with some of the riders. Anna knew several of the coaches and wanted to introduce Mary around to some of the newer competitors in the field. It was a working week end and so Matthew decided not to accompany her. Anna had given off a distinctive vibe that he would not be welcome.

Mary did not necessarily agree that he'd be in the way but she went along with Anna. She wanted Anna to realize she meant business. Time was money and Anna was money and time well spent. Mary already felt more confident than ever in her technique and finesse. Seconds counted and every week Mary was shaving time off of her show jumping. It was her favorite event. She loved the speed of the cross country. Jellybean going full out and the wind in her face. It was the most dangerous and the rush of adrenalin engaged all her senses. But the show jumping's precision combined with the confined setting of the arena allowed her to show off just her close relationship with Jellybean. They moved as one.

The dressage was the last piece to the puzzle. If Mary was ever to compete in the three-day event she needed to get a choreography together. She needed to show Jellybean could compete at this level. So she meant business this week end. Matthew said he could take care of everything at home. And from the looks of the selfie with the boys he was doing just that.

She wanted to be with the twins. Every day away was another potential milestone missed. But this was her life now. And they made the best of it. Matthew skyped every evening with her so that she could say good night to George and Jeremy. He took movies on his phone when Jeremy ate cut up carrots with his chubby fingers rather than being fed or George sat up and smiled, waving broadly at the camera's viewfinder.

They were growing up so fast. Their first birthday less than a month away. She choked back the gut wrenching pain she felt whenever she left them. It was hard. Matthew tried to make it easy for her but she could sense a growing tenseness in his body language.

Many of her fellow competitors also had families as it was a sport that had people of all ages. So that was neither an advantage or disadvantage that she was juggling home and work as well as an athletic career. She loved that both genders competed equally. So fathers and mothers, 20somethings and grandparents all on the field.

Her life was full. Why then did she feel such a sense of emptiness at times?

This reverie was self-indulgent and a time waster Anna would say. And she was talking about a competitor so Mary focused back onto the task at hand.

"I don't think his seat at all where it should be." Anna pointed to where the rider was low in the saddle.

"He doesn't look like he's connected to his horse." Mary observed.

"That could be because he's using a second horse or he's forcing the horse." Anna leaned forward. "But that turn step was perfect. So he's compensating."

They continued to watch, each competitor given Anna's critical eye. Later they mingled at the party where Mary spoke with a couple of riders she had last seen at the 2012 UK Trials as well as a few from other countries around the globe.

"I do hope we'll see you in London next month." Ashley Tisdale spoke in that unmistakable condescending Southern twang designed to put Mary off her game. They had been rivals since they were junior riders. "I just couldn't believe it when I heard you were back? Again!" A short nervous snicker accompanying that comment. "For good this time?"

Mary knew at that moment that she was scared of her. She'd never admit it. But she was. Ashley had not left the competitive field, but neither was she top in the rankings. Mary had kept up with her sport when she had left to join her father's firm and even as she was up to her eyeballs in nappies and spit up. So she threw her head back and responded in a cool tone of voice, "I will be at Royal Windsor. As I recall you showed poorly there last year? Maybe you'll do better." And she gave a slightly pitiful tut tut click of her tongue.

Ashley's face froze for a fraction of a second as she took in Mary's caustic but ever so polite rejoinder, a muscle in her jaw twitched in consternation. She could up with no response to that. So she just turned on her heels and strode away.

Mary noticed however a defeated droop to Ashley's shoulders. It was a rather small and petty exchange Mary realized. But it did feel rather good at the same time to emerge victorious.

But then she noticed she had missed Matthew's call about putting the children to bed. The next text said they were already asleep and he didn't want to wake them.

Her lower lip trembled and she bit the side of her mouth. She had not even heard the chirp signaling an incoming call. No longer as interested in mingling in the noisy party, she put the mobile back in her bag and slowly walked back to her hotel room.

XX

"Mr. Crawley," Emily called out as she knocked on his office door. Matthew was working from home that day and she usually did not disturb him but this was a bit of an emergency.

"Come in…" Matthew's voice was distracted. He was hunched over his lap top scrutinizing some investment numbers just coming in from the London Exchange. He looked up as the nanny walked through the door.

"I'm afraid I need to leave. My brother's in the A and E for being an idiot at rugby practice. My mother wants me to check up on him." She took a few steps inside the room. Matthew stopped what he was doing. "I know you wanted to work today but this is kind of an emergency."

Mary was expected back from Stamford tomorrow and in time for the twins first birthday party at Downton. She said she'd try to get in earlier but wasn't clear on a time as Maggie's competition was one of the last events on that Saturday and she still had all the gear to pack up with Jerry to make sure Mr. Banks got back to Yorkshire safely."

Go. I'll be fine. I can wrangle the boys down for dinner and naps. I need to take a break anyway." He rubbed his eyes. "I hope your brother is not too severely injured."

"Just his pride most probably." Emily joked. "But mum wants me to make sure."

Matthew saw her off at the front door and then turned just in time to hear George's scream for attention. Matthew lifted his son up into his arms. "What are we going to do? Maybe we could go to the park and feed the ducks?" Jeremy was still asleep in the cot upstairs. He walked up the steps to the nursery. George's mouth opened and vocalized some soft sounds. Nothing recognizable, though Matthew liked to think the "dadadada" meant himself, he knew better. Both twins would point at virtually anything and vocalize the syllables.

He put George down on the carpeted floor of the nursery as he noticed Jeremy was stirring in the cot. He leaned over to clasp his other son. Turning and gasped in surprise as George pulled himself up to stand while holding onto the chair Mary had used for nursing them. He didn't know how to get back down again by bending his knees. Instead he took a wobbly first step towards his father.

One step.

Then another.

An almost third step…

And then George collapsed onto the floor in a heap. And started to cry.

Matthew, stunned that George had accomplished such a milestone, sat down next to him, still carrying Jeremy in his arms.

"Georgie boy. Look at what you did. You walked. You walked a whole two steps." He set Jeremy down, keeping a close eye on the brother in case he wanted to imitate George, and lifted George into his arms. "How about that. Two whole steps."

He was crying for reasons he didn't quite understand. Life as he knew it was over once the two boys began to walk. They'd get into everything. He'd have to guard them with his life.

It would change his whole routine. Everyone would now have their lives controlled by two demons on foot.

And yet it was amazing. Wonderful. The milestone to mark the end of one part of their lives and the beginning of another.

Tears streamed down Matthew's face.

He was alone. No one to share it with. Even if he took pictures of it now, only he saw it for the first time.

He ached for Mary's presence. She wanted to be there. Of course she'd see it tomorrow. Should he not say anything? Let her think it happened first at their birthday party? Or would that be too dishonest?

Matthew's quandary kept him awake most of the night. It wasn't just George walking though. He knew he needed to have a conversation with Mary very soon about just how much he missed her.

Physically, mentally missed her. Her smile. Her body. Her wit.

Her.

XX  
 _Thanks for waiting with this story. I don't have as much time to write as I used to but I wanted to get something down on paper.  
I'm not sure Matthew knows what the best course of action is… we'll pick it up next time at the birthday party._


	40. Chapter 40: Priorities

_What I need after today is some loving time with the Crawley family... I hope you do too!_

XX

Mary wrapped her arms around Jeremy, soothing him with sweet, quiet words. "Sshhhh…. What is the matter my little sweet pea?"

She rocked slowly in the chair, suppressing a yawn.

Jeremy and his mum had been up most of the night. And as it was their birthday tomorrow, Mary had wanted both her boys to be well rested for all the guests and partygoers her mother had invited to Downton. In addition to family, Emily and her siblings would be there as well as a few of the children from the local playgroup they had found while at the park with the twins. Cora had finalized the guest list with Mary the previous week, before she had traveled with Maggie down to the Stamford Show.

Isobel was expected by the morning train. Matthew was to meet her and drive her to Downton.

Mary kissed Jeremy's head. She really wanted to get some sleep, having been up since 6am that morning and never off her feet. And now she was up and down with her youngest.

George was upstairs, dead to the world. He was always the better sleeper Matthew stated. One story and one kiss good night and their eldest by 12 minutes was out. Jeremy, on the other hand, tossed and turned and never settled immediately. But usually after some blurbing with his lips he slept through the night.

This night however, he didn't want to leave Mary's arms. Every time she put him back in the cot first upstairs, and then in order not to disturb George, in the downstairs nursery he opened his eyes and began to fuss again.

"Can't say as I blame him." Matthew whispered in Mary's ear. "He misses you…" And kissed her on the lips. "Like we all did." One more lingering kiss. Their fingers entwined.

Mary never wanted him to let go but told him she'd deal with Jeremy. He had done so much for her over the past weeks, she'd take it tonight.

"I'll be up when he's down." Mary let go of Matthew's hand. A soft smile crept over Matthew's lips. He blew a soft kiss and tapped the door frame as he left.

Oh she had missed all her men. Mary had made it back earlier than expected in the evening after leaving settling the horses back down at Downton Stables to Jerry. Her student, Maggie Mason had finished with a first-place blue ribbon in dressage. Surprisingly Maggie and Mr. Banks had shown a real affinity for the precision of dressage and Mary decided to emphasize at Stamford which turned out well for her student. So after a celebratory dinner with Maggie, Will and Daisy Mason she took the train back to Downton Village and drove home surprising Matthew who was putting George down while holding Jeremy.

She had found out that Emily had to go home early and Matthew was alone most of the day. While he put George down she took Jeremy and ordered take away from the Indian restaurant in town as Matthew had not eaten.

Over the curry and tandoori chicken Matthew told Mary she had missed Sybil by an hour. Her sister had stopped by on her way to Downton with a "big secret" she was "simply dying to spill." Matthew's rounded lips and animated arm gestures imitation of her sister made Mary laugh.

"Did she tell you the secret?" Mary's curiosity was piqued more than she wanted to let on. Some gossip from her sister was just the tonic she needed after the long day. And being away from family for what seemed like weeks.

"No…" He admitted. "She bursts in saying she could have texted you but it needed to be said in person and she wanted to give George and Jeremy a kiss. She said she could only stay a few minutes as your mama and papa were expecting her at Downton but twin love won out and she stayed about an hour."

They both smiled at their boys' indulgent auntie.

Matthew then knitted his brow in a serious turn. "Actually …" And as he was about to tell her about George walking they both heard Jeremy's wail on the baby monitor.

Mary laid a hand on her husband's back and rubbed gently. "I'll get him. You finish your dinner. I'll take a shower and change and be back down."

Matthew didn't want to break the mood. Mary's happiness upon her return home took precedent and he let it go. He could always tell her about George later.

So he reached up and pulled her down for another kiss and let her go upstairs.

But Jeremy was still fussing hours later. When he finally went down for the night in the downstairs nursery Mary took the baby monitor upstairs and quietly opened the bedroom she shared with Matthew.

His face was profiled in the moonlight. Shirtless, one arm draped over the duvet, Matthew stirred at the sound of the door opening. He rubbed one sleepy eye.

Mary gazed at her gorgeous husband and pondered how she ever left him for even a minute of the day.

Matthew sat up, leaning on his elbow and opened the duvet for Mary to get in with his other. "Is he down?"

Mary sat the monitor on the nightstand and tuck in between the sheets next to Matthew. "Yes. Hopefully we can all sleep in a bit tomorrow. I'd hate for either to be fussy at their party."

Matthew's mouth muffled agreement as his body snuggled close to Mary and drew in her scent, an intoxicating mix of orange and jasmine.

She spooned close to Matthew. His arms enveloped her waist, his hands roamed down to caress her hips and rounded rear. She knew he wore only his underpants as his hard arousal burned heat against her body. She murmured a series of short breathed gasps as his touch drew closer and closer to her wet center. He caressed her name over and over in soft tones of love.

"Mary…Mary, I've missed you so much." The soft pads of his fingers slipping into her slick, tight body, pressing in all the right places to make her moans more audible in the quiet darkness of the night.

Mary pushed down his underpants and felt his engorged shaft release. Matthew felt hot sensation flood his body. They turned towards each other, lips reaching for each other. They kissed deeply, slowly at first and then more needy as their passion began to peak. Matthew's tongue dug deep in Mary's mouth. His hands slid down her abdomen and then his head moved slowly down until his lips and tongue lightly passed over her nipples. He gently took one breast into his mouth and then the other. His hands tugged at the straps of her negligee until they released from her shoulders and he slipped it off.

Mary shuddered as his mouth moved even further south and his tongue took long, deep tastes of her. She clutched his hands and bucked against him helplessly. Wanting more. Ever more. Delicious wave of heat surrounded her. She surrendered to all of it. Matthew's mouth came back up to meet her waiting lips, panting and tasting of salt. Mary's fingernails dug into his ass and she pushed his shaft closer to her inner thigh. Matthew grunted as his breaths grew heavy. He drove into her hard and needy. She met his rhythm as her breasts touched his chest as he dipped down to lavish her with kisses. Fire and desire became one as their bodies swayed and jerked against each other. She was wild that he thrust and fill her to her own center. He bucked and shoved and drove inside her until he felt the powerful, intense release that caused a guttural moan to part from his lips. He drove the final thrust upwards of his need to ensure that her climax was as shattering as his own. Mary threw her head back and a brief yelp of passion escaped her lips as the release gripped her and took her over the edge of desire. They came back together, body to body, their sweat and heat mixing as she remained inside and on top of him as he stroked her hair until her breath became less feverish and steadier.

Both recovered slowly. Matthew lay down beside her, their legs and arms still entwined. He kissed her hair, feeling it tickle his skin.

No words were needed. Just touch. Just being together.

Once semi-consciousness was attained, however, both perked their ears up and began to listen to the air. To the sound waves emanating from the baby monitor.

To potential fallout from their vigorous love making.

To cries. Or whimpers.

But blissfully, there was nothing but static.

Matthew's head fell against the pillow. Mary slipped her arm around his shoulder and rested against his chest.

They all slept lazily late into the morning.

XX

Matthew and Isobel strolled over the lawn to the picnic tables where the rest of the family mingled in groups of two or three.

The children were either running around chasing each other or playing on blankets spread out under the trees. Balloons wafted in the breeze. Mary had asked that her mother not go all out and plan a crazy party with guest characters playing superheroes or pirates or whatever. They could hold all that off until the boys were older and could participate more in the entertainments they or their friends wanted. This would just be to celebrate the year milestone in a quiet family atmosphere.

The sun was shining, and Matthew was happy the weather appeared to have no potential for rain. He pointed out Emily and her brother to his mother. "Turned out he broke his arm in a nasty scrum at rugby. They splinted it and sent him on his way."

The siblings were eating fairy cakes Cora had made earlier that morning making sure the older kids had snacks appropriate to their age while the little ones munched on carrots and bananas and maybe some of the soft pizza slices or cheese sandwiches. Matthew waved over to Emily and she waved back. He then led Isobel over to the family table where Mary sat with George on her lap.

The boys wore matching tan shorts and light blue pullover shirts.

He kissed his wife in greeting. "How is everything here?"

"Wonderful." George's face smeared with jelly but laughing merrily. "We're all having a marvelous time." She took out a wet wipe and cleaned her son's face. Bertie and Edith were on the opposite side. Edith held Jeremy and Sybil sat next to Cora.

Robert stood off to the side near his mother. Isobel moved to the side to sit down next to the other Crawley matriarch. Violet had a sun hat and glasses on. She sipped some iced water from a glass.

"Not too hot I trust?" Isobel asked in a friendly manner to Violet.

"No." Violet responded. "But at our age, we must ration our excitement. I told Mary I could stay one hour but no longer."

"Would you like to come back to Crawley House afterward? Matthew has to stay and help out Robert with some accounting." Isobel turned to her daughter in law. "I could take the boys back for their naps if you'd like to stay here and catch up with your sisters. I know you've been away."

Mary was very appreciative for Isobel's kindness. "I would love that very much."

Matthew exchanged a grateful look with his mother. It warmed his heart every time she extended her love to include Mary. They were all truly becoming one family.

"Dig in." Sybil told Matthew. "There's plenty for everyone." He grabbed a couple of the sandwiches and a bottled water and took a seat on the blanket next to a couple of the other children from the playgroup. He was friends with Saanvi's dad and they began to pick up a conversation about the best cricket players ever to play at Lords they had begun weeks ago. Bertie overheard their animated discussion and walked over to join them.

Mary had extended an invitation to Peter through his adopted parents but had been informed he was attending a summer camp. His mother said in future she'd make sure to put the date in the calendar and would love to attend next year. She also said that Peter had talked of little else but the horses and ponies since the carnival and that even though he was usually shy and reserved, he wanted to take some lessons and could she recommend someone in Wales. After a few inquiries Mary had gotten back to Daphne with a name of a friend who ran a stables near Laugharne.

They all spent the next hour eating, singing, and playing with all the children. Emily rounded the little ones around her and started blowing bubbles to keep them occupied while a few of the older children played tag in the garden.

Mary had brought gift bags for all the children to take home. Just little trinkets and candies. When all the guests who were not close family left for the day, the rest gathered around and opened a few of the presents for the twins. Mary and Matthew had mentioned that they'd love more books to read to the boys and some sorting and nesting toys.

"Hmmm…" Sybil squealed in delight as Cora unwrapped her large present box for the boys. It was a walker push toy made from wood with old fashioned wheels and a long aluminum pusher. "Perfect for George." And she grinned madly at Matthew.

Matthew tried to imperceptibly warn his sister in law that he had not told Mary yet about George walking with a small shake of his head.

But Mary's attention was distracted and he wasn't even sure she heard. Jeremy had found the box and was turning it over onto his head. "No sir. No …" and took the box from him. Jeremy started to wail and pout, but ended up giggling madly as his mother made goofy faces at him and hid herself in the box and popped back up with another funny expression.

Matthew joined in with George and soon everyone took a turn making the boys laugh. Robert's silly cross eyed grin making Jeremy laugh so hard he rolled over on the blanket. His grandfather scooped him up and started to tickle him.

It was a great way to end a beautiful day.

Soon enough Violet headed inside to Downton to fetch her bag for the trip to Crawley House. Mary helped Isobel and Cora put the boys in the stroller and pack up the gifts and toys. Bertie and Matthew cleared up the tables and put everything back in the coolers and containers and carried it all back to the kitchen and sorted the recyclables while Sybil and Edith put on the dishwashers as it was Mrs. Patmore's day off and no one wanted her to have stacks of dishes to wash in the morning.

Robert and Sandy waited for Matthew to finish. He wouldn't be long, Matthew told his wife after a lingering kiss on the lawn near the Lebanese cedar tree. Just going over some investment opportunities to extend the haylage yields at the farms.

"There is a cricket match in the village though…" He gave Mary a cheeky grin. "Bertie and I thought we'd go check it out what with Mother and your granny taking the boys." His voice became playfully pleading. "If you don't mind."

Mary said in a mock monotone, "Go ahead. You know the game bores me to sobs."

Matthew kissed her one more time. "We'll catch back up tonight. I have something exciting to tell you."

Mary was left to wonder about Matthew's secret as Cora walked up at the same time. "I don't mean to rush off but I have caterers in for the grand opening in a fortnight. I couldn't schedule any other time."

"It's fine Mama." Mary soothed her mother. "Edith and Sybil are taking me to tea in town. Come join us when you're done."

"I'll do just that." And she kissed Mary's cheek and moved back inside Downton.

Mary joined Sybil in her Volvo S40. Edith was in the back seat. When they arrived at Vivian's Tea Room, a favorite of all the women since their childhood, they sat down and ordered the full afternoon tea.

"Later we should go out with the boys for cocktails and a meal." Sybil said. "Make a full day of it. We see you so little these days. I know Matthew wants to keep you all to himself, but he needs to make room for us as well."

"Maybe some other time darling. Matthew did say you stopped by yesterday. To tell me something…" Mary turned to her sister. "What was it?"

"Sybil!" Edith called out. "I told you not to tell her before I could get a chance."

"I didn't." Sybil's mouth was full of scone but she protested anyway. "Mary wasn't there and Matthew was too excited about George walking to bother telling him."

"Wait?" Mary's eyes narrowed. "George took some steps? Matthew never told me."

"Oh God." Sybil put her hand up to her mouth. "I'm hopeless. He said not to breathe a word before he had the chance to tell you himself."

Mary tried not let on how sad this information made her. It was a day to celebrate.

"Don't tell him I told you." Sybil begged.

"I won't." Mary replied evenly, though her smile was unsteady.

Instead she turned to her other sister. "So spill. I need secrets. Now!"

Edith finished her sip of tea. "Well…"

Sybil started to giggle.

"I'm pregnant!" She announced jubilantly.

Both sisters jumped up and hugged Edith at the same time. "I'm so happy for you, darling." Mary kissed Edith's cheek. "When?"

"I'm about six weeks along. So early next year." Edith replied with elation. "A lot of time to go."

"It will fly, let me tell you." Mary pronounced. "You think every day when will this pregnancy be over and then it is. It's like the old adage the days are long but the years are short." Mary's breath caught on her own words.

And then she started to cry.

Both sisters were shocked. Mary almost never cried. She was always so strong.

Mary's eyes brimmed with tears which she quickly wiped them away. She hated public displays.

"Motherhood makes one do things you never expect." She tried to cover up her emotions with a quip.

Edith leaned over and hugged Mary around the shoulder. "We'll have lots to cry about together soon. Very oddly I look forward to it."

Mary recovered her equipoise and they caught up on each other's news. Mary told them about Maggie's success and her own hopes for London later in the summer. Edith said though she'd have to pull back some she still intended to continue to research material for her book on Brexit. Sybil was to graduate and take her exams to become a registered medical practitioner.

"But that's just the beginning." Sybil announced. "I've decided to spend some of my post-graduate years in America in hopes of becoming Board certified in emergency medicine."

"Does Mama and Papa know?" Edith asked.

Her sisters were speechless. Mary finally said, "You're moving to the States?"

"For a time. We'll see. I want to see the world. Maybe it's just the beginning." Sybil popped a small bite cookie into her mouth. "It's my decision."

"Good for you." Mary exclaimed, more like her old self. "I say go for it. I felt the same way at your age." She turned to Edith. "We both did."

Edith agreed. "We'll miss you though."

"I won't be leaving for a few months. Maybe January." Sybil explained. "You can visit anytime."

"Just in time for baby's birth." Edith counted the months. "So you must promise to try to stay that long."

Sybil did so with a hug. "I'll do my best. I am the best aunt in the world after all."

Cora joined them after a bit. "That's done. The menu is set for the donor's dinner the night before our grand opening."

"That's wonderful Mama." Mary said.

"I could not have done it without Matthew's help. He got me through all the endless government paperwork associated with opening a business on a historic property."

"I'm glad he found the time."

"He expected to be with you at your events but since you don't seem to want him around he was able to find the time among his other responsibilities." Cora chided her daughter softly.

"He said that?" Mary asked in a sharp tone. "That I didn't want him?"

"No," Cora said. "He'd never actually say it. But he does miss you something terrible."

Mary was quiet for the rest of the meal. The women all parted with kisses and hugs. Mary walked back to Crawley House. Matthew had not yet returned from his cricket match Isobel informed her. Violet had been picked up an hour previous by Robert.

The boys were playing boisterously in the nursery. "I hoped if they played enough they might be a bit easier to get down for the night." Isobel talked as she put some toys back in their bins. "They've had their dinner."

"Thank you." Mary said in gratitude. She sat down in the window seat of the nursery.

"Is anything the matter?" Isobel wasn't used to such silence from Mary. She usually took charge as soon as she entered the house.

"Is Matthew happy?" Mary asked suddenly.

"With you and the boys? Of course he is. He's more settled than I've ever seen him."

"Settled yes. But that's nothing really." Mary said it with a tinge of sadness.

Isobel would have none of that. "It's the very opposite of nothing."

"How so?" Mary shook her head ruefully. "Settling into village life you mean? Just a matter of finding this house and starting his work I suppose."

"Not just that, my dear. Don't always think so practically. Settled in his mind I mean. He was so restless. Driven to succeed for so much of his life. I wrongly thought his first marriage would stop him from that path. But he just took on more challenges that took him away for months and weeks at a time. As if he was running away. But you and the boys are like a tonic for him. He is so happy."

Mary was grateful for Isobel's kind words. She had been cool to like this new daughter in law early on but now Mary believed Isobel spoke from her heart.

"I'll be off now. I've got the 6:30 to catch." Isobel gathered up her bag and glasses.

Mary took a step towards her. "Would you like to wait for Matthew? He could walk with you?"

"Not necessary. It was a grand day." She gave Mary a peck on the cheek and waved a good bye and she was out the door.

Mary let the boys continue to play with their birthday present of blocks and stacking squares. Never disturb children quietly at play was a motto at their house.

Take advantage of it. So she sat gazing out the window. Thinking of a conversation she had with Anna a few weeks previous. They had been at dinner after watching the competition all day. Anna was trying to feel Mary out with regards to how she felt about taking on even more training time.

"I think you've really found your rhythm. The London Trials will be your best outing yet but after you have to concentrate on the real goal. The Olympic trials next year. You won't fail again if you work hard."

"I didn't fail last time." Mary reminded her coach. "I never even began. Diamond went lame in practice. I never even got to begin."

Anna said encouragingly, "Jellybean is in fine shape. You won't have such bad luck two times in a row."

"What about you?" Mary ventured, Anna's past a bit shrouded in mystery. "I know you had some bad luck as well." Anna had to quit competitive riding due to an accident that displaced her hip.

"I came up the hard way. No one believing in me. A girl who's mother was a domestic and her father no where to be found. I had my only luck when my mum took a job on an estate and I became friends with some of the other employees kids. We would play with the daughters of the owner of the place. Some hedge fund manager who bought the place for his la-di-dah wife. You'd call them interlopers for sure."

Mary had to smile. Her father certainly would.

"I learned to ride with them. Caught the bug. Wouldn't let go until my mother got me more lessons. Worked in the stables to earn the money for more lessons. It wasn't easy. Your kind always sniffing their noses. I just wanted to show them all up." Anna rolled her eyes towards Mary.

"I know the type. I hope you found out we're all not like that."

"I did. I found a group of friends and supporters. It is like a family. The only kind I'll ever want."

"Haven't you ever met a man you'd like?"... Mary hesitated. "Or a special person..." She realized she wasn't entirely clear on Anna's sexual persuasion. That had never really been a part of their conversations.

"I was married. To a man..." Anna laughingly clarified. "But it didn't work. I wanted my horses more."

Mary had smiled and let the talk slide back to competitors strengths and weaknesses. But now it came back to her.

She never wanted Matthew to doubt her intent to spend the rest of her life with him.

It suddenly came to her why these past weeks she'd felt so drained. So empty. She thought it was the travel. The intensity of training. The details of the dressage choreography.

But it was more. Her life was more than that. Her life was Matthew. The twins. Her family. She drew strength from them far more than she realized. And she wanted not to separate them any more.

An idea danced around her brain. One that took shape and made her suddenly giddy with happiness. She'd have to enlist Tom's help though for it would require a certain amount of stealth and misdirection for it all to come off.

Jeremy started to vigorously yawn. His brother followed suit.

Mary heard the front door open just as she was scooping them up to bed.

Matthew whispered a "hello" and kissed his boys.

He was grimy from the village cricket match. His hair tousled and over his face.

"I hit a ball over the boundary." Matthew informed Mary, very pleased with himself. "Do you need help?"

Mary said, "You'd do better to shower. I'll put them to bed."

"I could wait for you..." Matthew curled an eyebrow upward.

"An offer I can't refuse." She winked and walked upstairs towards the twins bedroom.

A few minutes later she opened the door to their room. Matthew was still undressing. "That didn't take long."

"Birthday wore them out I suppose." Mary made a move to slip off her clothes to join him in the shower.

Matthew stopped to admire and adore his wife's shapely body.

Mary said lightly, "Sybil told me you said George walked yesterday." She really didn't want to have an accusatory tone.

Matthew sat up straighter on the bed, stiffening slightly.

"It's ok." Mary reassured him. "I knew I'd miss out on some things. Was it across the room? He didn't do anything like it today."

Matthew puckered his lips in thought. "It was more of a wobble I suppose rather than a walk. About two steps and he crashed and cried. I meant to tell you but I didn't want it to ruin the day." His face a picture of concern about upsetting Mary.

"It hasn't." Mary loved that he was so concerned. "I've had a lovely day. We'll try to see if he'll do it again tomorrow for both of us. Or maybe Jeremy won't let his older brother steal all the limelight."

Matthew stood up and walked over to Mary. First leaning down and passionately kissed her. And then to Mary's surprise he picked her up and into his arms. She let out a suppressed yelp of laughter and then clapped her hand over her mouth.

"Sshhh... " Matthew teasingly warned. "I want to make love to my wife in the shower. No interruptions allowed." He slid his hand against her backside making her moan now in anticipation of the delights to come.

"Lead on...I am yours to do with as you want." Mary placed her arms around his neck and playfully pumped her legs and feet up and down. Their lips meeting again and again as Matthew walked towards the bathroom.

XX

 _Ok. That was a nice way to end what could have been a stressful day. There will be a longer conversation about Mary's career and fitting it all in with family life. Her plan to surprise Matthew will come in the next chapter. I hope you'll stick around for it! :)_


	41. Chapter 41: Not as it Seems

_Everything isn't always what it seems..._

XX

The library buzzed with quiet conversations, as if being in the space caused everyone to lower their voices to hushed tones of respect. Cora had invited members of her board of directors of Downton Enterprises Ltd. to a business casual get together to meet the mayor of Downton Village, assorted local notables, business associates, and donors of the National Trust and English Heritage. Her managerial staff and employees who would see to the grand opening set for the next morning had also been invited. Waiters strode around with trays of hors d'oeuvres.

Mary scanned the space, trying to locate Matthew in the throng. She had finished with her students, changed the boy's nappies, took a quick shower, and donned the flounced-hem lace dress with coordinated ankle strap sandals before handing off responsibilities to Emily for the rest of the evening. Matthew had stayed at Downton after the final pre-opening board meeting and had said he'd meet her at the party.

Edith was across the room chatting with some of the new tour guides. Sybil was finishing her last rotation at London General Hospital before commencing on her US plans.

The two sister's eyes met. Edith's waved and Mary started to walk towards her. Then she spied Matthew. He was tête-à-tête with a woman she did not know. He laughed and dropped his face close to her ear. She was wearing a muted pink sheath dress and spiky pumps and Mary had no idea who she was.

The woman giggled and pointed to Matthew's tie. He was wearing a chambray blue shirt with a sage coloured lightweight micro twill patterned suit and tie. Mary had bought it for him while attending the Longines Global Tour in Paris earlier that month. The colour had struck her immediately as perfect as it matched his eyes especially in the bright sun when they turned a translucent azure that never failed to take her breath away.

Tonight, once the woman ran her fingernail down his tie, Matthew blushed.

Then it looked like they both pulled out their mobiles to exchange phone numbers.

There was most definitely room for misinterpretation of these actions.

Matthew was making moves on this woman.

And she was more than willing.

Like he had done before.

With her.

So easy to jump to conclusions, be filled with indignant outrage, and confront the two of them with icy shade and bitch face stare.

But that was wrong. Matthew wasn't like that. He'd never flaunt an attraction to another woman in a public space. His love wasn't fleeting. He felt his guilt deeply about his failed marriage. He intended to prove his love to Mary and their children every day.

So what was going on?

Her answer came when Matthew looked up from his phone and saw his wife. His smile broadened as he called her over.

Matthew reached out to her. She took his hand. He drew his arm around her waist and moved closer to her. She literally felt waves of love emanate from her husband.

How could she ever doubt him?

"Darby helped out with wading through the red tape so Cora could open in the summer to take advantage of tourists." Matthew explained. "She's with the National Trust."

"How do you do." Mary reached out and clasped Darby's hand in a friendly gesture.

"What was so funny?" Mary tried to say it nonchalantly, but Matthew caught the edge of her voice and gave Mary a quick sidelong glance. "Darby reminded me this was the tie I purchased when I spilled coffee as we were about to present to the UK Tourist Council and how I insisted upon stopping to buy a new one despite having only five minutes to get back to the boardroom." Matthew's tone wavered between lighthearted and concerned. He truly did not want Mary to ever doubt his fidelity.

"The stain was so tiny I had to have a magnifying glass to even try to see it." Darby riposted merrily.

"It was there!" Matthew insisted, his voice edging into a tongue-in-cheek whine.

"One has but one chance…" Darby started, sounding remarkably like Matthew when he was being pedantic. And they both finished. "To make a good impression."

And they chuckled again at the memory.

"It's true." He cocked his head and gave Mary a goofy grin. "At least I trust you're on my side."

"Of course I am." Mary gave her husband a supportive nod of her head, but passed a knowing look over to Darby as well. Matthew was ever the one to insist upon things done in a fastidious manner.

Matthew noticeably relaxed at her response.

She decided to change the subject. "Mama cannot wait to open the doors tomorrow to the public."

"We're ready to help out. Working in tandem with places like Downton allows us to extend our reach without having to take total responsibility. So it works out well for both parties." Darby took a bite of the canape she had taken from a tray as a server passed.

Matthew pulled out his chirping mobile. Ignoring the text, he clicked on the still open photo gallery. "I was showing Darby the boys birthday picture. How even though they look like absolute angels, secretly they were mischievous fiends in disguise. Turns out she has a little girl with her partner."

Of course, Mary realized. They were sharing pictures of their respective children. She'd never let on for a moment she was even the teensiest jealous.

She had to laugh as well. George and Jeremy had too much excitement and not enough nap by the time they had decided to take family photos and they had to bribe them with dangling toys and funny faces for what seemed like hours to get any decent shots. Mary had hired one of the women from the company that ran her web site to take the photos. Jill had been more than patient and they had managed to capture several adorable images of the boys and then of themselves each holding one of the twins.

Matthew showed Darby the one of all four of them. Smiling under the Lebanon Cedar, Matthew holding George in his arms as he knelt on the grass while Mary sat on a blanket with Jeremy on her lap. Matthew's arm curled around her neck and resting on her shoulder.

Mary said, "That was quite the feat. I can't believe we all managed to look at the camera and smile at the same time. I was secretly tickling Jeremy to keep him looking like a cheeky monkey."

Matthew laughed again and gently squeezed his fingers around Mary's waist. She leaned most happily into his body.

"I've got to round up the others in time for Cora's address to the assembled." Darby made ready to leave. "So if you'll excuse me." And she walked towards other members of the National Trust gathering around the fireplace.

Matthew turned to Mary. "You weren't really worried, my love." His eyes opened wide, making him all the more desirable.

"I did wonder if I would have to study up on my powers of fascination." Mary caressed his back with long strokes of her hand as they walked around the the back corner of the library.

"Come here…" Stiffening with desire, Matthew pulled her into an alcove and took her lips to his own in a lingering, rapturous kiss. His own hands crept around to her rear, his fingers pressing deep, crinkling the silk of her dress.

"Careful you'll make me untidy." Mary taunted, as she came up for breath after Matthew's lips reluctantly left her own. He lifted her slender wrist and kissed her pulse point.

It throbbed against his lips.

"Good." His voice like dark chocolate. Another scorching kiss descended on her lips.

"What if someone sees?" She continued to taunt, to taste, to tease.

A sly smile stole across his face. "Kisses are always sweetest when they are forbidden."

He pulled her closer towards him, his lips touching her hot skin against the nape of her neck. Then crushing his lips against hers. Mary's back arched against him encouraging his hungry kisses, wanting more. A soft moan escaped her lips.

They lost track of time.

A few moments later Mary finally said, "we should get back." She stepped away, her hand brushing some of his unruly curls back across the top of Matthew's head. His face was flushed. His eyes still closed, reluctant to break the spell.

"Mama will wonder what became of us." Mary reminded him. She could hear her mother's opening remarks beginning, thanking everyone for their support of Downton Enterprises.

Matthew recovered sufficiently to blink. He needed a few minutes to remove any visible signs of their arousing make out session. Mary smoothed the creases of her dress and held out her hand. He gave a roguish grin and followed her back into the main library.

They stopped at the table near the window to catch their breath. Matthew handed his wife a glass a champagne as Cora was about to toast to the success of Downton Enterprises.

Eventually they made their way over to Edith.

"You made it back." Edith greeted her brother in law.

"Last night." Matthew replied. He had spent the past fortnight in London catching up on CB Properties business and taking a series of meetings with investors and clients. Two to three times a year he traveled down to the capitol for extended stays. He tried to cluster as many meetings as possible within that time frame. Hand hold clients. Assess business options. Let everyone know that he was still a fully engaged senior partner in the business. And then flee back to York and the freedom to work when and how he wanted.

"And now you're off again?" Edith turned to Mary. "Where to this time? You two make me look like a positive lay about with all your travels."

"Ballindenisk International in Cork." Mary informed the group. "Then the Tour of London at Chelsea."

"And I have to stay here." Matthew said with a tinge of exasperation. "At least for Ireland. I have the last of my community investments opening and I said I'd be on hand for any last-minute cost overruns."

He turned wistfully to Mary. "But maybe London?" His voice entreated, his face making heart eyes at his wife.

"We'll see." Mary replied barely withstanding the urge to jump him right then and there. Instead she said teasingly, "Anna says you're a distraction."

Edith gave an extended eye roll. "Can't understand that at all." She replied drolly.

To prove her point, the two love birds kissed.

"You're just jealous." Mary rejoined in good humour. "Bertie's away and you're pining."

"True." Edith sighed. "He's gone to Scotland on business. But he'll be back in time to find out the sex." And she rubbed her stomach.

"That's the best." The two sisters embraced. "I want a text as soon as you know."

As if on cue, Matthew's mobile chirped again. He glanced at the message. He frowned.

"What is it?" Mary asked. "Anything wrong?"

"No…" Matthew shoved the mobile back in his suit pocket. "Nothing to worry about."

Mary raised a curious eye brow, but said nothing.

Her attention was soon drawn back to her sister. Her mouth was agape.

"Edith?"

Her sister gripped her arm tightly. "Look!"

Mary scanned the library entrance.

She inhaled a sharp breath. Tightly grabbed Matthew's hand.

He knitted his brow but looked over in the same direction as the two sisters to see what held them in thrall.

Cora stood in the library entrance, greeting every guest. Robert was opposite her, shaking hands with each visitor. Not surprising in and of itself as they were officially the Earl and Countess of Grantham. Very few knew Cora lived in a separate wing of Downton.

No that wasn't it. What happened next left the three other family members dumbstruck. Cora deliberately moved across the entrance way and slipped her arm inside of Robert's.

Her father stood just a bit taller as the two exchanged secret smiles.

Mary had a notion her parents were reaching a reconciliation. Small things. Her mother had cancelled a dinner with her and would not say why. Matthew told her he had noticed her parents walking around the estate, their physicality while not close was also relaxed. When Mary asked her mother if she would live outside of Downton when she was done with getting the opening underway, Cora mysteriously refused to answer. Only when Mary frown deeply did her mother relent and put a hand on Mary's face and said gently, "it's too soon to say anything."

So now it was confirmed. Her parents were back together. At least they would not have made such public display knowing the children were present without intentionally showing that they were giving their marriage a second chance.

"Sybil will have hated to miss that." Edith said wryly. "Though she'd be likely to cause a scene stomping over and telling Mama to come to her senses."

"I think she has." Matthew observed.

"Do you approve?" Mary queried her husband, still unsure how she felt about it. "After how Papa behaved?"

Matthew's tender eyes tried to comfort his wife's concern. He spoke from his heart. "I don't think it's up to us to approve or disapprove. They've decided to live their lives together once again." His voice hitched with emotion as he finished, "We should be happy for them."

Mary's eyes swam with unexpected tears and she managed to only just tilted her head in agreement. She moved closer to Matthew, accepting his warm embrace. "Love wins out?"

"If it's real it should." Matthew's lips tickled her cheek. "It always should."

XX

Matthew's mobile chirped again when they arrived back home. Indeed Tom had tried unsuccessfully for the last four hours to get Matthew to respond. Matthew had turned it to mute while they remained at Downton after the party. He didn't want anything to disturb Mary and Edith speaking privately to their mother.

On the drive back to Crawley House Mary asked him what her father had said to him as Cora had taken the girls outside for a long walk around the Monk garden.

"Not much." Matthew admitted. "He said the week they spent in Scotland had been good. They reconnected. He seemed very happy."

"As was Mama." Mary looked for any signs Cora felt coerced into returning to her marriage but found none. "She looked relieved to have made her decision and now she wants to move forward."

"And you?" Matthew twisted his neck to see her while he pulled the SUV into their drive.

"I will do as she wants. As you say it's their life. I want them to be happy."

She leaned over the leather seat to give her husband a kiss.

That's when the mobile chirped.

"Dammit." Matthew muttered. "Tom won't shut up."

"Have you been putting him off all this time?"

Matthew nodded.

"May as well get it over with." Mary said as she opened her side door.

She walked up to the house and got out her key.

"Hello..." She whispered as the air was deliciously quiet. The boys had gone down for Emily she hoped.

"Lady Mary." Emily emerged from the kitchen. "They've been asleep for about two hours. I checked on them several times."

"Thank you Emily. We'll take over. Do you need Matthew to drive you home?"

"No. I have the car tonight. I parked it around the corner."

And with a wave to Matthew who was just entering the house, Emily departed.

Matthew threw himself on the sofa, undoing his tie at the same time.

"What is it?" Mary sat down beside him.

"Tom wants me to return to London tomorrow. He says there's a serious flap on with one of our oldest clients. Threatening to pull all his commercial investments with us because he thinks we're going under as the government collapses and the world descends into chaos." He rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Can't you call?"

"No." Matthew shrugged helplessly. "He doesn't talk business over the phone. He thinks it's rude."

Mary arched a curious eye while slipping off her shoes and snuggling closer on the sofa.

"He's an artist who inherited money. He puts back all his dividends from investments into a young artist endowment he started years ago. I think he lays on the eccentric bit a bit thick just to hide what a canny bugger he really is."

"Sounds like you like him?"

"I do." Matthew pulled Mary onto his lap. "Just not tonight."

They kissed.

"Will you go to London? I've got to be off early in the morning to the Stables to help Jerry load the horses. Mama and Edith could help Emily if you have to stay overnight."

Matthew's nose tickled Mary's neck as his lips brushed against her skin.

"Ireland, right?" Matthew asked.

She grunted assent, gasping as his touch became more intimate.

Just then their lips came together. Tasting. Tickling. Mary's body thrumming as his tongue explored her eager mouth.

Wanting more...

Then George's distinctive wail could be heard followed by a crashing sound.

Both parents flew apart, a bit breathless but needing to run upstairs to see what has happened.

George had thrown out all his blankets and was jumping up and down on the mattress trying to get out of the cot to retrieve them.

Despite being the usual light sleeper, Jeremy was still out like a light.

George was wide awake. They took him downstairs to the other nursery. Once there he squiggled to get out of his mother's arms.

Mary put him on the play mat and moved to fetch a toy. When she turned back George had lifted himself onto his feet and proceeded to wobble towards her.

"Georgie!" Matthew called out as he saw what happened.

Mary's eyes shone with happiness as she witnessed her son moving with determination. He reached her leg and held on to her calf until she lifted him up and smothered him with kisses. "My sweetiekins!"

They all came together for a tight family hug. Matthew was so happy Mary could partake of the joy this time.

Then George started to yawn. It was getting very late.

Matthew said he'd take over until George fell asleep as Mary had to be up early. So ever so reluctantly they gave up on the idea of love making. Mary suppressed a yawn herself as she gave one last kiss to each of her men and made the move back upstairs.

But now that she was alone she had one more thing to do before turning in. She reached for her mobile and clicked on Tom's number.

A wicked smile crossing her face.

XX

"So you got me here." Matthew said, dropping down on one of the downstairs bar stool at Cafe Bruno. It was so loud he could hardly hear himself think. Why were there so many people crammed in the bar when the evening was perfect weather and the Cafe had one of the best views of London from the roof top.

He ached in lovelorn loneliness as this was the Cafe where he had first met Mary. Two years ago. Simply being here without her made him bereft. Adrift.

His head began to pound.

"Let's get this meeting over with." He turned to Tom who didn't seem to be in any hurry. "I thought you said this was an emergency. Where is Connie anyway? This isn't like him to want to talk over dinner at a loud bar."

Tom took a slug of his beer. "Go upstairs."

"He's upstairs?"

"Just get up there." Tom smiled. "And tell her you bought it hook, line, and sinker like she said you would."

Matthew was completely flummoxed. Who was upstairs?

He took the steps two at a time to the landing of the roof top. No one was there. All the tables had candles lit but no one was seated.

The sky was ablaze with colours from the setting sun.

He walked around the corner to the see the table where he had sat doodling in his sketch book the night he met Mary. Unaware that the woman whom he was to meet would change his life.

Mary sat there. In the same form fitting little black dress that slit at her thighs and the spikey Christian Louboutin heels that Matthew had admired even as he kept his eyes averted to maintain a professional distance.

Now he could admire all he wanted.

"What?" He asked, mouth agape in wonder. "I thought you were in Ireland."

Mary pulled him down onto the seat next to hers. "I lied." She had to giggle at the utter astonishment in her husband's eyes. "Tom helped by bugging you with endless texts about that fake crisis. I wanted to surprise you on the anniversary of the day we met." Her eyes listened with happy tears. You've been so good about my traveling. My being away to follow my dreams."

"It's what we agreed to." Matthew answered clasping his wife's hands into his own. "I've simply lived up to my side of our bargain. I want to support you in every way."

Mary wasn't sure she could get through the rest without completely breaking down. "I've come to realize, however, my dreams are incomplete without you. I want you always. Forever. I feel only half myself when away from you. I don't want to feel that way ever again."

Matthew kissed her cheek softly. "Darling. I'll always be on your team."

"How could I possibly ever lose in that case?" Mary's lips met his.

"Did you really buy out this entire roof just for me?" Matthew's eyes danced with happiness. He heard some soft music drifting from another restaurant across the road.

"Of course. I want you all to myself." Her eyes narrowed to slits as she licked her lips slowly with her tongue. Matthew felt the spiked heel slink up his calf towards his inner thigh. "We have all night to do what we want. When we want..." She arched an eyebrow seductively. "And wherever we want..."

Matthew needed no more invitation. He reached over and pulled her towards him, a long kiss merely the appetizer to the evening's sensual meal.

XX

 _:) they deserve this right? More of the night away and Mary's plans for the future in the next chapter. I haven't as much time now to tell every reviewer personally how much I appreciate their kind words. Thank you for reading, liking, and reviewing this story._


	42. Shut Your Mouth and Run Me Like a River

_Erm...serious steam warning ...hehe_

XX

Mary slipped off of Matthew's lap, discretely smoothing out her dress where Matthew's hand had slipped inside. She noticed several heads poking around the corner to see if they were ready for the meal.

She threw her eyes in that direction to get her distracted husband's attention. As she retreated back across the table Matthew reached out and clasped her outstretched arm, placing a grazing kiss upon her fingertips, "We must do things properly," he winked slyly.

Mary gave him a sultry look back and sat down opposite.

Matthew twisted his head and raising two fingers, he waved the servers over.

Mary had ordered glasses of Chablis to accompany the simple appetizer of bread and cheese and a bottle of Sancerre for the main meal of sole meuniere. Brandied cherry tart for dessert with champagne arriving in an ice bucket.

Neither said much during the meal, content just to share the same space. Eyes flickered and flirted across the table as the servers came and went. Fingers entwined as they needed to touch. Mary's spikey heeled shoe played footsie under the table, stroking Matthew's calf so seductively it threatened to drive him wild.

The servers came and went with each course.

When the dessert course was removed, Matthew poured them another glass of champagne, reaching over and mouthed an "I love you" as they cleared the table of the last plates.

"You trying to get me tipsy?" Mary teased when the last of servers left them alone.

The side of Matthew's mouth lifted shamelessly. "We don't have to drive or be anywhere for the next 24 hours at least. If I want to get drunk and make passionate love to my wife for the entire night…"

"We should do exactly that." Mary finished, her eyebrows waggling.

Matthew sat back and sipped his drink. He had been stunned that Mary had concocted such a plot to lure him away to London on false pretenses and surprise him with a meal just for two a top their favorite restaurant.

"By the way, where are we staying tonight? Somehow I don't imagine you want to go back to my small flat at the Mall."

Mary shook her head in mock disgust. "I do not. I've booked the Pearl Suite at the Rosewood."

"Excellent choice." Matthew had to admit. He had clients fly in from overseas stay there as it was one of the more exclusive boutique hotels in London with spectacular views of the city from several of the suites.

"We can take a taxi." Mary said, grabbing her small handbag from the table. "I made arrangements with Alain that after a couple hours we'd let the restaurant have their roof back."

Matthew shoved the empty bottle back in the ice bucket. "We'll order more champagne there." He declared as he got up and moved behind his wife to pull the chair back to help her up.

She turned her head, her hair falling delicately around her shoulder. Matthew could not resist and they kissed.

"And I think I'll need breakfast in bed."

XX

They stood silhouetted against the shadows of the night. Mary had gone towards the window to put her bag on the table once they entered the hotel room. On the way over in the taxi Cora had rung to tell her the boys were happy and snug in their beds.

Noticing the door, Mary walked out onto the balcony of the penthouse. The view was spectacular and she bent slightly over the guard rail. Matthew followed, drawn by the figure-hugging tight way her dress fell against her backside. He had taken off his suit jacket and tie. His shirt collar was open.

His arms wrapped around his wife. His lips grazed against her alabaster skin, the nape of her neck tantalizing him with its clefts and crevices. Mary shivered in delight as fingers then began to roam. Down her shoulders, feeling each breast as they moved down to her slim waist. The curve of her hip and then her rounded rear. He tormented Mary with his slow hand as his fingers finally relented and strayed into her most private regions. He pushed the hem of her dress up, shoving aside the thin panel of her thong. She opened her legs up to his stroking. Her mouth dry as he found the junction of her thighs.

Her eyelids fluttered. She was helpless as he plunged two fingers inside her slick hotness. Matthew dragged her head around with his other hand, turning it so he could reach her mouth. His lips were seductively full as he bent down and kissed her. A bruising, burning kiss; his fingers never leaving her wet inner center. Her nerve endings afire.

She panted, spinning away and lowering her head to concentrate.

He continued his exquisite pleasuring with one set of fingers while the other unzipped her dress, pushing his hand inside to pinch her left nipple to an erect peak.

She opened her mouth, a whimpering moan escaping as his teeth nibbled her shoulder, his fingers unrelenting as he took her to a plateau of aching, trembling need that threatened to diminish her sanity. Mary's body stiffened with Matthew's every brush against her most sensitive spot. He manipulated her reaction with the intensity of his stroking. Deep and firm, Mary began to writhe in pleasure; her bare ass stretching up to make the intensity of her orgasm even more shameless. The rounded form of her rear moved up and down against Matthew's trousers. His erection grew harder with each sweep. But he continued, vigorous thrust after thrust that grated against the wet ridged fold he knew from her panting screams and shuddering thighs made her limp and delirious. The thrusting action demanded he finish her no matter his own need.

Mary lifted her head as she rocked against his aroused hardness, making her own body that much more alive with convulsing need. Her breaths now short explosive gasps, the shattering release leaving her transfixed, vacant. Delicious. She slumped against Matthew's body.

His arms enfolded hers, protecting her as she could barely stand. She stayed in that blissful state of sensual oblivion for several minutes. Matthew could hear her breathe ease. Her eyes opened. Became aware once again of her surroundings, the night air cool against her skin. He had pleasured her atop their penthouse hotel balcony.

It was marvelously brazen. And she was unashamed. Indeed she wanted nothing more than to return the favour.

Mary turned in Matthew's arms so they were face to face. He had a languid smile and half-lidded eyes. Drawing her close Matthew buried his face in her hair, inhaling her sweet scent. Then he gathered her to him for a tight hug.

"Happy?" He asked drowsily.

"Very…" Mary responded huskily, her lips sliding along his own making him shiver as it tickled. She could see his trousers strain against the bulge of his hard shaft.

It demanded she release it. To take it in her mouth. To drive him to the brink of intoxicating madness.

Mary darted a quick glance around. The penthouse overlooked Holborn below. A few nearby buildings at a lower elevation.

They were alone with the night.

Matthew's shirt was damp from the heat of the evening and his earlier sexual exertions. Mary scored her fingernails along his chest. Matthew could feel her tremble even as she claimed him. Her hand undid his belt and buttons and slid inside to caress and tease him. His arousal, hard and satisfying in her capable hands, made him almost whimper in unsatiated need. She started delicately at first, up and around, down and against, touching and moving away. Touching again and grasping harder and firmer.

He gripped her shoulders. "Out here?" He whispered, his breath hot against her ear.

A sly wink his response. "Quid pro quo don't you know." Mary's hand pulled his hard shaft out of his pants and she slunk down on her knees.

Matthew doubled over the balustrade as the scorching sensation of her lips touching his arousal reached his nerve endings. Like fire rockets going off in his head, he felt a thousand pinpricks of exquisitely torture. Mary took him into her mouth. He let out a series of uninhibited moans that sent her into even deeper territory. She took him down her throat as his groans became rhythmic, hypnotic even. He lost his sense of existence to the vibrations of her touch, to the licking and laving of her tongue. His breaths became more erratic, more insistent until they spilled over the edge and he was lost to convulsing thrusts as her wetness enveloped him. His peak came in waves of intensity that he had no control over. When they subsided, he collapsed against Mary and they fell to the balcony floor in a tangle of limbs.

Mary sat up and put her legs under her body, resting on the palms of her left hand. She wiped her lips with her tongue making its way slowly around the exterior of her mouth. A slow, satisfied grin taking over as she observed her lover.

Matthew slowly recovered his senses.

"Vixen." Matthew teased, his mouth was dry but his eyes flashed.

"At your service..." She taunted back. "Anytime."

One eye cocked, "I'll remember that." Matthew pulled her in for a kiss.

Mary stood up on her knees and they lifted each other to a standing position.

"I'm quite _deshabille_ …" Matthew said in a mock discomfited voice. "How did you get me so untidy."

"Far too easily." Mary kidded. "Let's go take a shower."

And to make him move even faster Mary re-entered the hotel room and reaching back she finished unzipping her gown, dropping it in a heap on the floor.

Matthew's last image was of her naked, her still thonged arse rounded and tempting. She darted around the corner.

Matthew sprinted behind, close on her heels. Ready for round two of this endless night.

XX

The shower had been long and indulgent. The marble shower with multiple massaging jets pulsated against their skin. Matthew's head had turned and dipped down as Mary's came up. They kissed. Their lips slipping and sliding. Their tongues grabbing and pulling. Their teeth gnashing and grating. The kiss was hard. The kiss was deep. She pushed her tongue deep into his mouth, running it all along his top palate and almost dipping down his throat.

Matthew felt his legs almost buckle on the slippery surface. Every brush of Mary's lips against his set him afire. His hands wandered down to cup her breasts. She inclined towards his chest and he lathered her entire body with the lavender and rosemary body wash, lingering over each of her nipples until peaked and erect.

More deep kisses ensued. Slippery, sloppy kisses, never wanting to let go.

He dug his fingers deep into her luxurious dark brown tresses, pulling them through until free as it cascaded down her back. Mary's head came back against her neck, her eyes closed, eyelids glistening with water.

Matthew caught his breath at her gorgeous beauty. He could spend a lifetime and never know all of her.

And that was the most intoxicating thing of all.

XX

Matthew dried off and left the bathroom, leaving Mary to finish her ablutions. After checking both mobiles to make sure Cora had not called with any emergency at home, Matthew strolled out of the bedroom and tried to find the bar in the sitting room. He had changed into a t-shirt and boxer briefs and was suddenly ravenously hungry. Mary said she asked the bar be stocked with liquor and some light snacks.

A bucket with Gosset Grande Réserve champagne on ice was available as well as a 50ml of Matthew's favorite Speyside single malt whisky. Some bottled waters as well. Matthew grabbed a couple of the mankad burger sliders with tomato-cinnamon chutney, cheddar cheese and masala chips.

Mary poked her head around the corner to see if her order to the room service had been followed.

She found Matthew munching away on the burger and chips. He was sitting cross legged on the carpeted floor, leaning his back against the sofa. A water bottle on the side table.

"These are fabulous." He told her, taking another bite. Then taking another look at wife who stood naked in the doorway said, "But not as good to eat as you." His voice deepened, his eyes half lidded in desire.

"Insatiable man." Mary taunted, sashaying back into the bedroom by showing off her arse and wriggling it before she disappeared around the corner. "I won't be a tick."

Matthew finished the slider and washed it down with some water. He went into the bathroom to brush and gargle with some mouthwash and returned to the sitting room. Opening his music app to play some soft love songs, Matthew took the champagne bottle out of the ice. Applying slow pressure on the cork and turning the bottle until he felt it loosen and ease into his hand. The telltale pop and a small plume of fizz. Matthew poured two fluted glasses with the Gosset Grande Réserve and placed them on the side table.

Mary returned clad in the luxurious robe provided by the hotel.

Matthew held out a glass to Mary. "To us."

She held out her glass. "To us."

Each took a sip, smiling. Eyes locked.

Mary put hers down while Matthew finished his own.

He felt delightfully buzzed.

They cuddled on the sofa. "What did you mean earlier, darling?" He nuzzled her hair. "When you said your dreams are incomplete without our family. You're going to continue riding correct? You've not ridden in the Olympics yet."

Mary moved to sit slightly apart from her husband. She pulled her knees up around her waist. "I do intend to make the British team. But I've decided that if it's not next year it's not the end of the world. I have a long career ahead of me. I don't have to accomplish everything right now. William is almost 50 and still competing. Fiona was 40 when she won silver in dressage at Rio. Equestrians have a long history of riders who are not in their 20s and still winning."

Matthew gave her a quizzical look. "William? …uh…Who?"

"You'll meet them in Warwicksire in August. At the British Showjumping National Championships."

"I will." Matthew's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "I didn't think you wanted me. Doesn't Anna say I'm a distraction."

Mary waved her hand in dismissal. "I'm my own woman. I make my own decisions. Anna is wrong. I'll prove it to her. I don't want to do this alone anymore. I thought I had to concentrate and focus like I did before in order to succeed. But it wasn't the same. I felt alone…"

Her hand idly began to rub his arm. "I realized it was because I have a family now. A husband who loves me."

Matthew flushed red as her lips skimmed along his cheek. She brushed some stray locks away from his face.

"And children who need me. And I need them." Mary finished. "I want you with me on this journey." She tossed her hair back in a defiant gesture, "In other words I want it all."

"Team Mary?" Matthew whispered in her ear. "I'm in. The boys as well."

They kissed.

Mary sat back against the sofa. "After the Warwickshire Championships I'm returning to York and catching up with work and my students. I already told Anna that I want to cut back on our eventing. She wanted me to go to Longines Champions Tour at Chelsea but I said no. I need to work out a dressage choreography with Jellybean so that I'll be ready for the Olympia Horse Trials in London. I want to start there doing all three events. I've been unsure about dressage for too long. I need the time in between to work out a sequence routine. To see how far Jellybean can go."

Matthew listened intently and without interruption. He finally asked, "You still intend to try out in 2020? For Tokyo?"

"I'll work towards the Trials, yes. Making the team even. But if it doesn't happen, I'm not going to fall apart and believe it's the end." Mary sounded so determined. "I won't quit like I did in 2012. I've grown. I won't define myself by some measure of success based on which horse I ride, or my age, or my ability to win."

Mary inched closer to Matthew. They held each other tight.

"I've learned that winning comes with experience. It's a state of mind really. I will win whether it's a gold medal in Tokyo or just making the team in 2024 in Paris or even later perhaps. I won't give up living my life with you and our boys just for some pursuit of a dream that won't mean as much without you all being a part of it and myself being a part of your lives. Family is what is important most of all."

Matthew's embrace was warm and loving. "I can't wait." He pulled her onto his lap. Their lips met in a scorching kiss. He flung the robe off of Mary and placed hot kisses all along her shoulder blades, his hands roaming down to cup each of her breasts. His tongue flicked against each nipple.

She shimmied his t shirt off over his head, purring in satisfaction as his six pack abs was revealed. Throwing him down against the pillows Mary lunged towards him, nibbling and biting his muscled torso, feeling his chest hairs tickle her lips and skin.

Their touch was electric.

Matthew felt around her waist and hips towards the rounded cheeks that had so entranced him earlier. He massaged each with deep penetrating strokes. Pulling her towards him, he felt his aroused state grow tight.

Mary ached to have him inside her. Feeling his hardness against her opening. His length. His thickness.

She knew what he wanted. Turning around on the sofa to give him the best view she said savagely, "Take me. Fuck me hard. You know you want to…"

Matthew plunged inside her slick wetness. He slid in and out of her, grunting in undisguised gratification. Skin hot and sweaty, their heat galvanizing their lust. The length of his engorgement sent coursing pleasure throughout her body. She greedily made more demands as she rocked her ass against him. He plunged in further, bucking and thrusting deep. His groans grew louder as he neared climax. He gripped her hips, cutting into her skin as he forced her body further and further back against him. Their grinding, their singular focus making them grunt with each new peak of erotic arousal. She squeezed her thighs hard, making him groan and shudder as if he thought the world was coming to an end.

"Oh…Oh God…" he groaned, yelps of pleasure escaped his lips as his peak sent waves of warmth inside her. He shuddered and kept clutching and thrusting her back. He drove his shaft harder and harder into her. She could feel his rough handling of her body, uncontrolled actions that made her want even more. Her buttocks tightened and suddenly Mary was filled with a powerful surge of bliss. She screamed and clutched the sofa's cushions as each powerful thrust brought flooding sensations of pulsing ecstasy. The release came like lightening, sending uncontrolled tingling sensations up and down her body.

Matthew cradled her in his arms, barely able to hold her up even as both their heads spun out of all sense of balance. He withdrew and they fell against the cushions. Barely able to say anything, their breathing heaving and heavy as reality slowly came back into focus.

Matthew wanted nothing more than to stay in this state of insensible lust forever.

To be with Mary forever.

Mary turned her body to spoon against his. They embraced. He kissed her flushed cheek.

Neither said anything.

The music app was still open on Matthew's mobile, it met their ears as they both fell asleep curled together on the sofa.

 _Holy hands, oh they make me a sinner  
Like a river, like a river  
Shut your mouth and run me like a river_

XX

 _Hope you liked that. They will return home and the family will gather to support Mary in London as she really begins her return to Olympic level riding competition and faces her future. Thanks!_


	43. Chapter 43: Team Mary

"Jeremy…" Mary's sing song voice attracted her son's attention. He had wandered away from the picnic blanket and was trying to chase a few butterflies in the nearby meadow. He turned around, gave a wide grin, and continued to run away.

She grunted and scrambled up from the blanket to chase him down.

"And to think we were happy when the boys learned to walk." She mused wryly as she scooped up her wayward giggling son into her arms.

Mary walked back to the riverside. Edith had kept George busy with some biscuit snacks while Mary went after Jeremy. With two rascally potential runaways at any moment she found the more hands the better.

Matthew was out on the Ouse. His scull was well down the river and not in sight anymore of the sisters who had set up a picnic by the river while he practiced for the York Autumn Sculls event. Matthew had finally joined a local club and signed up for the Masters race division. To his eternal dismay he no longer could participate in the under 27s according to rowing regulations. He was soon to be 36 and the inability to overcome his disappointment at growing older had kept him from participating in any rowing club races. It was like he was being relegated to the rubbish division.

And then he saw them race an event earlier in the summer and he took back all of his barbs and insults.

They were serious.

And fast.

And he felt his own competitive juices return. Mary had been right that time they had gone jogging around Downton after first spending the night together and she said he must really understand why she found it difficult to give up competition. He had told her about the Boat Race victories. And then how his career took over and he never again gave any thought to racing.

Watching the York Masters crew race to victory did just the opposite. He inquired that day about joining. And now he was to race in the Autumn sculls single and team race.

He and Mary were working hard, juggling taking care of the twins alongside the enormous help the extended family provided. Emily had started a nursing program in Leeds and could no longer be their full-time nanny. Mary hated all the new applicants and so they had been managing on their own for the time being.

Matthew rather liked it. Especially when it was like this. Long days by the river, picnicking with the children. Mary had to return to the Stables that afternoon to give Maggie her private lesson. And Matthew was to take the twins back to Crawley House and give them their baths and dinner. At almost 16 months they both had healthy appetites and usually ate whatever was on offer.

That last incident of George throwing his food across the kitchen was merely an aberration. Matthew had chuckled when he explained it to Mary after he had cleaned it all up.

Mary rejoined with an arched eyebrow, "And the crying jag that followed where both boys attempted to out scream each other for hours and refused to go to bed?"

Matthew's face scrunched in thought. "Testing their limits." He fell back on one of the lines from the parenting twins book Mary had purchased early in her pregnancy. It was now a joke between them as the touchy feely let your three-month-old make friends in order to get them into the best university advice had driven Mary to purchase another book entitled Why Mommy Drinks.

They both laughed for they had learned that it was the only way to get through raising twins. Take each day as it came. Each crisis. And then hand them over to a baby minder for an evening off.

So this day was very special. Family Only days they called them. No work of any kind. No horses. No business consultations.

Full of only twin love.

Matthew removed the scull from the river and made his way back to Mary, Edith and the children.

"Hello love." He bent down to kiss his wife. Mary's beautiful brown eyes turned upward. Their lips met.

Jeremy scrambled over and demanded his attention with a series of escalating pitched "Da Da Da Da….DAAAAAAA….."

Matthew scooped him up and kissed his cheek. "Attention grabber," he declared to his son before tickling his belly and giving him a hug.

Matthew leaned over to grab the water bottle Mary handed him. He took a long swig and then sat down next to Edith. Jeremy snuggled against his shoulder, wiping a sleepy eye with his chubby fist.

Edith was laying down against a couple of the pillows Mary had retrieved from the car. At five months along she was feeling tired. Her feet were swelling and had no idea, she said how Mary had carried two.

Mary just gave a knowing smile. "I really had no choice," playfully slapping Matthew's shoulder. "Twins run in his family."

"Twins run all over the place in my family." Matthew retorted as he pushed himself off the grass to chase after Jeremy who had spotted another butterfly.

Edith chuckled. "I feel wiped all the time. I've taken to blogging rather than writing any freelance articles that require much travel. I thought I'd be able to do it all. I read so many articles by women further along than me doing triathlons or joining an Antarctic expedition or whatever. …" She groaned. "I just want to take a nap."

"Ugh. Never read those things. They always make one feel positively incapable." Mary had drolly observed.

But then she couldn't resist adding, "Of course you'll have it easy." Mary shrugged her shoulders. Mary pointed a playful finger at her sister. "To paraphrase Monty Python I shall laugh in your general direction as you deal with just one baby." And she made a flippantly dismissive gesture with her hand.

The sisters laughed. "I'll be sure not to complain." Edith rejoined easily. "Especially as Bertie is insisting upon hiring an army of help."

"Mama will be the one running on empty. Visiting you, coming back here to see the boys, and then all the work at Downton." Mary held George in her lap, giving him one of the teething biscuits she had packed in a container. It would soon be a gloppy mess all over his face so with her other hand she reached for a premoistened facial wipe.

"She loves it so." Edith said. "I've never seen her with so much energy."

Both sisters were glad their mother had at last found her own peace. In her life. In her marriage. She and Robert were still working their way back to complete trust but the core of their love was ever present and visible to all the children.

"She does miss Sybil." Mary pointed out. "I'm surprised she hasn't decided upon a trip to Boston to visit her at Massachusetts General."

"Don't give her any ideas." Edith laughed.

Matthew reminded his wife, "We're going to be busy ourselves in the upcoming weeks."

Emily was to return to care for the children with help from Isobel and Cora while Mary and Matthew traveled to London. Matthew had work to do with CB Properties and Mary wanted to do some shopping as well as check out the Olympia Horse Show facilities. Matthew would stay in London as CB was considering moving to a new location in the Docklands closer to King's Cross where Google had built their London headquarters. Mary would return earlier than he and relieve Emily. He'd return after another fortnight.

But he'd have to share Mary's time with Anna. She would stay in the village for at least a week. Mary was hard at work choreographing a dressage routine and she needed Anna's keen eye to work out any problems. She would tweak the performance while ensuring Jellybean was in peak health with the vet.

Mary had made a strong showing in Warwickshire finishing second in both show jumping and cross country. She hoped to take that momentum into December to the Olympia Horse Show.

"It's all in hand." Mary said, wiping the sticky mess from George's mouth and face. And hands. And his knees as he patted them over and over while saying, "wa... wa… wa…"

"Want is his new favorite word." Mary shook her head. "I just can't wait for the terrible twos!" She maneuvered George on her lap into a more comfortable position. "You want another biscuit?"

George clapped his hands together and bounced as Mary reached into the container for another teething biscuit.

Noticing his brother getting a snack, Jeremy began to wail and stretch his arms out. "Da Da DA!"

"They'll be little beasts for sure!" Matthew pulled him back into his arms but the screaming continued until Mary handed him a biscuit to give to his unruly child.

"They fight over everything now." Mary informed Edith. "Toys, food, …"

"Our attention." Matthew added. "I'm beginning to believe in twin telepathy. I swear I could be in the playroom downstairs with Jeremy and I'll hear George begin to cry from upstairs. One minute he was asleep. The next he's yowling as if he knows I've got Jeremy in my arms."

"They'll just use it to break our will." Mary dryly observed.

She knew they were lucky. They had family and baby minders to help maintain their sanity. They were rich in ways that had nothing to do with money or status.

Mary kissed the curly haired top of her son's head, her gaze lingering lovingly upon her husband who held their other child. His eyes met hers.

They shone with love. For her. For their boys. For the life they've made together.

When he asked for her hand in marriage, Matthew had wished she take a chance on him. That he and she would create a life for the other that would enrich them both.

Though she'd hate to admit to any kind of vulnerability she had taken the plunge to trust. To love. To be loved in return. And she could no longer imagine any other kind of life for herself.

This was the best time of her life.

XX

"What?" Matthew tone was peevish. Sharp. "You want to do what?" He practically spat out the next word. "Date?" His face screwed into one of complete disbelief.

"Oh Matthew." His mother bit back. "Stop behaving like a pouty adolescent. You have a family now. Why can't I?"

Matthew's mouth snapped shut. But his eyes remained narrow and his jaw set. "Who is he?"

"Richard Grey." Mary answered from across the restaurant table. They were all having dinner with Isobel at a new favorite restaurant in York. "The Lord Merton. He's an old family friend."

Matthew remained confused. "The Lord who?"

"Dickie." Isobel said, using Richard's affectionate diminutive. "He's a Baron. It's an old useless title anymore. They lost all their money after the Second World War. But his legal acumen has garnered him respect and a healthy retirement income. Don't look so shocked Matthew. Don't you want me to be happy?"

"Of course I do." Matthew was startled. He had never ever considered the idea that his mother would date anyone. Would remarry. Stupid really, he realized. "I just didn't know anything about it."

Isobel turned to Mary. "I'm so very grateful you introduced us."

Mary smiled at her mother in law.

"You introduced them?" Matthew's bewilderment turned to his wife.

"Why not?" Mary was frankly shocked at her husband's seeming opposition. "When you were still in London Isobel came to help out with the boys and accompanied me to dinner. I didn't realize Papa had invited the Merton's. Larry used to date Sybil until she realized he was a prat and dumped him." Mary's mouth turned in disgust. "He's not changed a single bit unfortunately."

Matthew's eyes widened. Was that a trait that ran in the family, he wondered?

His fingers started to thrum on the table.

"But don't worry. His father is wonderful." Mary tried to reassure her rattled husband.

"He's delightful." Isobel agreed. "You'd hardly know they were father and son."

Matthew's mouth made a move to say something but nothing came out. He clamped it shut again.

"And in any case, I won't be marrying the son." Isobel timed that shot perfectly.

"Marry?" Her son paled and his voice pitched high with anxiety. "You don't even know him at all!"

"And your point is what?" Isobel coolly replied. "I believe I said much the same about you."

Matthew scowled and remained silent.

"It is a possibility." Isobel continued. "You don't approve? I don't actually think I need your permission. I will do whatever I like with what remains of my life. Dickie is grand company."

Mary was just about to kick her husband under the table to stop his petulant obstinacy towards his mother's private life when Matthew took a moment to close his eyes and reflect.

He sat back against his chair. What was he doing? It was just so unexpected. But it had been over well over fifteen years since his father's death. And it was time. More than time for Isobel to live her life the way she wanted. He had been her primary focus in life. She had given so much to him. She had accepted the decisions he had made in his life from the divorce of a woman she considered almost a daughter to the marriage of a woman he barely knew. Accepted them. And embraced the family he now had with Mary even though it was painful and difficult in the beginning.

Who was he to do any less?

"I'm sorry." Matthew turned directly to his mother. "I am very happy for you. I can't wait to meet him." He rose and kissed her cheek.

Mary breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you." Isobel said, as her eyes took in her son's worry. "I love that you are so concerned. But you don't have to be. I think you will find you have a lot in common."

Matthew replied, "I'm sure we will." He caught Mary's approving look and mouthed an "I'm sorry" to her as well. He had behaved like an ass.

He was so very happy in his life. He would ask nothing more than his mother be the same.

XX

Jellybean cleared the jump clean. Mary's focus had already turned to the triple combination ahead. She and her horse rode as one.

It felt perfect. Gliding over the obstacles. Feeling the horse's hooves dig into the sand and push off again to set up the force needed for the next jump.

She was in the zone. Nothing could stop them. The cross-country terrain was tough but the weather had been cooperative and it was not muddy that would have slowed their time.

The win in the Dressage event had been all the momentum Mary needed for the next two phases of the Three-Day Event.

Dressage had always been her nemesis. She preferred the fast-paced rush of adrenalin the cross country gave her over the nerve-wracking precision of dressage. But with Anna's training and Jellybean's skill Mary found herself more confident than ever in her own skills. They were judged on how well horse and rider could perform a series of prescribed events with increased levels of difficulty. Mary and Jellybean needed to perform as one fluid movement. She would give imperceptible signals and the horse would respond in kind. Jellybean needed to demonstrate confidence and attention. Various counter canters, trots, and gaits were graded. Mary needed to sit balanced in the saddle and appear in total control of her animal.

They had memorized their routine over weeks of preparation at Downton. Anna's critical eye essential from the side lines, jotting down notes and scoring as if she was an official at the Olympia Horse Show event. Jellybean needed to perform with rhythm and regularity. Mary needed to regulate Jellybean precisely while appearing relaxed and graceful. Both would be scored on a scale of 0 to 10. Anna would ring the bell and Mary would start the routine.

Anna was a strict judge. But Mary wanted her to be as brutal as an Olympic level judge. That was the point after all. To see if she could return to the highest level of equestrian competition.

And it had paid off. A perfect routine and Mary emerged in first place.

Jellybean strutted around the stall afterward, knowing she had been faultless.

Mary gave her a long brushing out. Her ears pricked up and snorting with pleasure, Jellybean was in horse heaven. Mary loved communing with her horse. Murmuring sweet compliments and nuzzling her withers calmed Mary down as much as it did the horse.

The next day's cross country was going well. Jellybean missed one rail and it wobbled and fell. But her time was fast. Rhythm again was the key. The connection learned in dressage holding horse and rider together in the fast pace of the cross country. Mary consistently kept the pace and Jellybean responded. She galloped away from the fallen rail, not willing to waste any time thinking how that could have gone. Instead she focused on the fence ahead.

Anna had told her that if she saved half a second after every fence by setting Jellybean up at a gallop she would be unbeatable.

She finished the log brush roll and the final jump was the water hazard. Jellybean was so well trained she did not hesitate but plunged in and doused Mary with water splash but they jumped clean, came out other side, and galloped across the finish line.

Mary paced Jellybean around the cool down area, awaiting the posting of her time.

She heard a small roar emerge from the viewing stand as her name emerged on top of the board.

First place!

Mary was so proud of Jellybean. She patted her neck and rubbed the withers.

The noise she had heard from the crowd was her cheering section. Matthew, the twins, Cora, Robert, Edith, and Bertie were all in attendance. Edith was in her last trimester and this would be her last trip away from Brancaster. No one wanted to miss this event. Mary had trained for months and everyone knew she'd win.

And it was all going her way.

After cooling off Mary guided Jellybean to the stall yard. Jerry met her and took over the responsibility of dealing with Jellybean because Matthew had made his way from the viewing stands to greet her.

"Darling! Darling!" He said, reaching out for her as she dismounted. His arms curved around her waist and pulled her in for a kiss.

"Let me get out of this helmet." Mary unstrapped and pulled it off. She reached out and kissed her husband again. "That's better."

"You were perfect." Matthew's face glowed with pride. "Your papa was cheering and screaming so hard your mama began to worry he'd have another attack."

"Are the boys behaving?" She was a bit winded still so they moved to sit on a bench under a large oak tree just off the course where they found a bit of peace and quiet.

"Bit fussy." Matthew acknowledged. "They need to get back for naptime. I told Cora that if she needed to leave with them back to the house we'd be along later."

Matthew had taken a short-term lease on a house near the course so that Mary could train and rehearse a fortnight before the competition and when the rest of the family arrived, they'd all have their own rooms as well as a kitchen, living, and outdoor patio for the entire group to rest and come together.

"Understandable." Mary leaned her head on her husband's shoulder. "I will need to meet with Anna tonight to go over some last minute details about tomorrow and the vet's giving Jellybean the onceover."

"I won't wait then." Matthew could see Anna waiting for Mary inside the livery yard. He waved.

Anna gave both of them a big thumbs up.

"Meet you back at the house." One more kiss from Matthew and he returned to rest of the family.

They all spent a quiet night as the boys had gone down early and no one wanted to disturb their slumber. The big day was upon them tomorrow. When Mary returned back around 8pm she was exhausted. There had been a slight scare with one of Jellybean's back ligaments but it was not sprained or torn the vet confirmed but it had taken longer than expected.

"So proud of you my girl." Robert kissed Mary's brow. He sounded a bit hoarse from all the yelling that afternoon.

"Get over here so I can hug you." Edith tried to get up from the sofa.

"Don't get up." Mary walked over. "It's a complete terror that last trimester. We don't want to upset little Juliet." She sat down next to Edith and the two sisters embraced.

"Where's Bertie and Matthew?" Mary looked around.

"They're outside working on the grill." Edith looked askance. "Not sure we'll ever have dinner."

"Come in to the kitchen and have a cup of tea." Her mother offered.

Just then Matthew opened the back door. "We're just finishing the kebabs. The steak is taking a bit longer." He looked inside the living room. "You're back." He was so pleased to see Mary home.

Mary smiled at Matthew but responded to her mother's offer of tea. "I will." Mary answered. "But first a shower though and a change of clothes. And then a good night's sleep."

She took a look at her husband. Matthew confirmed he was on complete dad duty that night. No disturbances.

But on the way up the stairs, Mary did motion him to follow her up to the suite they had picked for themselves at the corner of the house.

He nodded, walking over to say to her in private, "Let me just tell Bertie he's on his own for a while." He winked and made a move back towards the door to the patio.

She slowly slid a fingernail along his torso. "Don't be too long." She licked her lips and flicked her hair loose from its bands. "I need to relax."

"Oh I can make you completely oblivious to the world." Matthew's voice deepened seductively.

"Upstairs." Mary commanded. "Five minutes."

Their shower love making was slow and quiet. Neither wanted to call attention to their activities but neither could they resist having any time alone with the boys asleep and the rest of the family occupied. They kissed. Their lips slipping and sliding. Mary pushed her tongue deep into his mouth, running it all along his top palate and almost dipping down his throat. Matthew's body backed her up against one of the walls where the jets still shot out bursts of steam. Just to the right of the opening was the tile wall. She came to rest against it with a grunt.

His arms encircled and protected her. His knees opened up her thighs and he pushed his groin against her so that her entire body felt his weight. She could barely think straight as he thrust inside while touching her breasts with his lips. Mary's breath now came out in short bated gasps and moans. She fell back limp against the wall of the shower letting him jerk and thrust, pushing her with powerful strokes. Her moment of peak was near. She could feel it. It was overpowering her. She gripped his ass with her legs, tightening against him to lengthen her pleasure. His body shook as he grabbed her arms and spread them wide as his own reeling crest sent waves throughout his body.

"God that was good." He whispered as he dried his wife off with a towel.

"Delicious." Mary confirmed. She stood up and wrapped another towel around her body. "But I think you need to get back downstairs. We've already caused enough suspicion."

"The coast is clear." Matthew poked his head into their bedroom. "I don't hear anything from the baby monitor at least."

So after one last long, wet kiss Matthew dressed quickly and left her to finish drying and styling her hair.

He returned in time to see Bertie arrive with the steaks from the patio grill. Everyone was around the kitchen island putting fixings and side items on their plates.

"Are you still hungry?" Edith asked teasingly.

Matthew blushed. "Mary will be down in a few minutes."

His sister in law gave him a plate. "Is she going to do it you think? Tomorrow?"

Matthew's eyebrows lifted. "Hope so. She seems very confident. The best I've ever seen." He then asked, "Does she know that Sybil's flying in tomorrow to watch her?"

"No." Edith put a finger to her lips. "That's still a secret."

Matthew smiled and nodded. He was about to say something more when Mary arrived.

"Hail the conquering hero!" Her father cheered.

"Not quite yet." Mary tempered her father's enthusiasm. "Two down. One more to go."

"Piece of cake." Matthew murmured confidently in her ear. "You've got this."

Mary embraced her husband, a confident but not big-headed smile crossing her face.

She really did think so too.

XX

"Mary Crawley on Jellybean…" The announcer's voice echoed on the loudspeaker.

"Go for broke." Anna said sending Mary off to the first fence. A vertical with poles placed three above each other. The next an oxer with two verticals together spread wide apart.

Jellybean sailed over both.

Making great time, smooth gait, strong and confident in the saddle Mary took the descending oxer and the triple bar next. The brick wall. The combination. A series of fan rails. A water ditch.

This was a difficult course the Olympia Horse Show set up. A real test of rider and horse.

Mary was winning with flying colours. Her strides in between the jumps was on time. She wasted no effort getting Jellybean over each obstacle.

Accurate. No rails down.

"What a great horse." The announcer said as Mary finished the course. "And Mary Crawley's expertise was on show tonight."

The time displayed up on the board. No penalties. 50 seconds. The Three Day Event Gold Cup was hers.

Mary threw off her helmet in celebration. Waved it around as the crowd cheered.

She looked for her family in the viewing stands.

There was Matthew. Cheering and waving to her. He held up one of the twins revealing that George was adorned with a "Team Mummy" shirt. Bertie held up Jeremy wearing the same. Each twin displaying a broad toothy grin as they clapped along with everyone else.

She too was smiling from ear to ear. And was about to cry from all the overwhelming emotions welling up inside.

Her father so proud. Her own mother beside him. She took such joy in their reunion.

Edith sitting down to not jostle the baby but enthusiastically applauding.

And beside her was Sybil. Jumping up and down and cheering the loudest. She had traveled all the way from her post-residency at Massachusetts General to be here for Mary.

Her wonderful family.

She had done them all proud. Herself as well. She had quit. Fearing failure when Diamond went lame she didn't believe she'd ever ride competitively again.

Now Mary felt triumphant.

She knew now the future was hers as well. She'd give it her best. Try for Tokyo in 2020. To ride in the Olympics the ultimate goal.

But no matter the outcome, she had won. She was loved. She loved in return. Her husband. Her boys. Her family.

How could she ever lose again?

XX

Fin

 _Sigh… I loved writing this story. I hope you loved reading it. There will be an epilogue (within a couple/three weeks) taking this story further into the future (2024 Paris to be exact) so still some story to tell. I'm about to embark on working much more intently on the new WWI canon era story with a twist (The Gift) and I hope you find the opportunity to give that one a try. I can't thank everyone enough for reading and reviewing this story. I never expected to have my highest review count ever for Pushing In…but I am very very grateful_.


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